His Two Paths
by IWLTxo
Summary: Sirius Black stumbles into Godric's Hollow, finding James and Lily dead. He turns back time to become the Secret Keeper he's destined to be. But there's a price. Is it death? Losing his love? Becoming Lord Voldemort's enemy? Contains minor M scenes, SB/OC, L/J. AU.
1. One's Worse Nightmare

This whole story is **UN-BETA'D.**

**Disclaimer;**I do not own the HP world, but I do own the plot and any characters that are unfamiliar.

**A/N:**This is my first story, so I hope you like it. It's going to get a lot more interesting and confusing, and it is AU so you might see characters that are dead return, or stuff like that.

I really hope you like this!

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><p><em>xoxo<em>

_1. One's Worst Nightmare_

Grey eyes took in the scene almost reluctantly and when he found what he was looking for, Sirius Black's movements stilled. His heart continued to beat furiously whilst the lump in his throat grew bigger, so big in fact that he was finding it difficult to swallow.

It was agony. He could hardly breathe. 'No,' he whispered, 'no, _no_!' Sirius cried hoarsely, his beautiful eyes growing large and frightened. He slipped off of his motorbike roughly and slammed to the hard gravel. Somewhere in the back of Sirius's mind he registered the bike fading into the background.

Everything around him faded, except the ruined house before him.

The Godric's Hollow home in which James and Lily had moved into looked precisely how Sirius had imagined it to look if Voldemort ever got his hands on them. The usually lively and fun home was now a cold home. A home that looked so hurt, so _broken_. The roof was gone, the windows were smashed and the door had been blasted open. Rising from the top was a thick shadow of black smoke. It frightened Sirius terribly.

All he could think of was Harry and James and Lily. He swallowed hard, looking around with frightened eyes. Eyes that were _streaming _with tears. He brushed them hysterically as a part of his mind raged around, screaming in pain.

Suddenly, he jumped up off the floor and growled, running as hard and fast as he could. He tripped over the blasted door and shouted out at the top of his lungs, 'James! JAMES!'

But there was no answer. In a time as desperate and dangerous as this his friend wouldn't joke around, Prongs wouldn't be hiding in corners so he could jump out when Sirius least expected it. Maybe a few weeks ago he might have done, when the Marauders hadn't been aware of Voldemort's sudden interest in the Potters. Maybe if the war hadn't changed everything; hadn't changed them from carefree, arrogant boys into stoic and anxious ones.

'James!' He bellowed, coughing violently as the black smoke sifted into his lungs. Sirius felt the tears well in his eyes. It wasn't true. This couldn't be happening. He didn't even check to make sure Lord Voldemort wasn't in the house; in fact he didn't care if he was killed. He just wanted to make sure his family were alright.

_How could any of this have happened? _

And then the horror he felt froze his movements, when he turned a corner and saw the body of the brother he had always wanted, the brother he _got..._

James was dead. Sirius stopped and stared for a long moment. He stared at the body with wide eyes, shaking his head in disbelief. He made a noise as he felt something, something hard and deep inside stirring.

'No.'

James was lying on the ground, with the ghost of a scream on his face and a hand in his pocket as though searching for a wand that wasn't there.

Sirius stepped forward hesitantly, wiping the tears from his eyes. He watched the body for long moments, waiting to see if it would move because _it just had to move!_ It just had to. But he knew deep down that James was gone, James was dead. Peter had betrayed them. Though Sirius had a hard time believing it, there just _had_ to be some liable reason. Then again, there could never be an excuse because Peter would never do something like this to his own side.

If he was in fact even on their side. The evidence was staring Sirius right in the face; that Peter had betrayed the Potters to Voldemort. Sirius could see the house, he was standing right before the dead body of his best friend; the house was in tatters for goodness sake! Peter had betrayed the Potters; he had broken the Fidelius Charm. He had broken the Potter's trust. He had broken Sirius's world.

He fell to his knees and started to crawl until he was right beside James. Sirius reached over to feel for a pulse.

He couldn't find one.

_Pain._

'Fuck Prongs, please get up. I'm sorry,' Sirius breathed, 'I'm sorry.' He used all his weight to pull James up, till the bespectacled man was resting on him. Inside Sirius's head, someone was still screaming. _This was impossible, this was a lie. This was all a lie._

But he held the evidence in his arms; this was no lie as much as he wanted to pretend it was. 'I'm s-so sorry Prongs, I'm so, so sorry,' he hiccupped. 'It's a-all my fault.'

His whispered apologies turned into thick, mournful sobs, echoing through the small house. Was there ever a more important person in his life than the man who lay motionless before him? Sirius had hoped and hoped this would never happen. He had been willing to risk his life to _make sure _this didn't happen. His life meant nothing now.

For the past few weeks his Boggart had transformed into a variety of things; Moody said that it was rather unusual. It always transformed into a Dementor first, that much had not changed. But then it would turn into James's dead body, followed shortly by Lily's. It would then change into Harry, Remus ... Peter ... Sirius's most loved ones, gone...

Almost automatically, Sirius ran a tentative hand through James's hair, staring off into space and trying to come up with excuses for Peter. He whispered words of regret and self-loathing to James and in turn he was answered with silence. 'You shouldn't be dead.'

But then he was cut off by a cry from upstairs; a baby's cry. Sirius let out a shaky breath.

'Oh.' He breathed.

Thank God! _Thank God!_ Lily and Harry were alright, oh, they were alright. If they weren't Sirius didn't know what he would have done. But he did know what he was going to do now. Make sure Lily and Harry were safe and okay. It was awfully quiet upstairs though, and suddenly Sirius felt unease, on top of the shock, the pain and the disbelief he was already feeling. He gulped.

Sirius looked down at James. The man who had transformed his life, quite literally, alongside Remus and—

Peter. Peter Pettigrew. There _had_ to be some liable reason as to why he had done what he had done. But Sirius didn't care. He was going to hunt down the coward and kill him. And Sirius never backed down from his promises, unlike Peter. He would have rather died than betray James and Lily.

Another sob worked its way through his body. He had never felt so much anguish and anger at once. He hadn't felt this sad when his father died, if in fact he felt sad at all, merely wistful. And when Regulus died, when his beloved brother was murdered, Sirius hadn't felt very sad but rather, he had felt betrayed and confused. He_ still_ felt confused. Like it had happened too quickly for his mind to understand. As though he couldn't get his head around the deceit, even though he had always known Regulus was on the wrong side.

But this was different. He had predicted Regulus's motives of becoming a Death Eater, not Peter's betrayal. Not a fellow Marauder turning on friends and family. Because in every sense of the word they _were_ a family.

They were like the Hogwarts Founders, each bringing a unique quality to their gang. Sirius had always thought himself to be the Slytherin of the group. Not because he liked Slytherins, but because he had the upbringing, the family and the social status one would expect from a Salazar Slytherin follower. He was ambitious like Slytherins; he could be _ruthless_ like Slytherins. He really was the perfect snake. It was easy to guess who the others represented.

But despite contrary belief, Peter had been a significant character within them. He was the special in his own way. He was a great friend; he was the one who mended the links between them. He was the fourth member, he evened everything out. Maybe that's why it hurt Sirius so much, because they were odd without Peter.

And no one liked being odd.

'I'll get him for you James,' he whispered in his friend's ear before hastily kissing his temple. Sirius's tears, some time during his grief, had fallen into James's open eyes and it looked as though he too, was crying.

Gently, Sirius dropped his fingers onto the lavender eyelids and closed them, blocking the view of the terror his friend's large hazel eyes deceived. He buried his face into the jet black hair and breathed in the scent.

For a moment he calmed himself. Reality hadn't sunk in yet, it hadn't at all. Not like when Reg died, or when Uncle Chuck and Aunt Dory passed away. This hit him hard. 'I'm sorry,' he breathed. It was all his fault, and the grief and guilt combined became too much for him. Sirius started to rock the dead body; maybe he was trying to calm himself.

But it didn't work, though Sirius found that he didn't care much. Prongs was dead. Nothing could make life better if there was no James in it for him. Sirius had lost everyone that mattered to him, the only person left to lose was Remus ... and _Rose_.

The Marauders had always said Sirius would die first; he was most likely to get into a situation that warranted death and besides, would hate for them to not know. That was true. So why was James here, dead, before him? Was Sirius such a horrid person that God had killed his friend?

Well, one more Marauder was going to die tonight because as soon as Sirius found Peter he was going to kill him. And it would be the most painful death.

He hadn't checked on Peter the night before and thought to do it today to make sure his "dear" friend was okay and everything was fine. A small look around the rented flat was enough to tell him his friend was gone and without any indication of a struggle. So Sirius panicked. He had stayed there for a while, wondering what could have happened. His imagination got the better of him, and as he remembered the day James told him that they were going to hide in Godric's Hollow, Sirius had come to the conclusion that his friends were in danger. But instead of thinking logically, he did what was expected of him; jumped on his motorbike and furiously drove to where his friends were without a hint of a plan.

Even half a mile away he could see the huge clouds of smoke rising and the destruction the house lay in from his bike.

Sirius was surprised he hadn't fallen off the bike whilst he'd been in the sky. He was sure hurt enough.

There was a loud cry and Sirius looked up worriedly before he remembered almost guiltily that Harry was still there.

'Harry!' Sirius whispered. He looked down at James.

'I-I'm sorry ... I'm so sorry Prongs ... this is all my fault,' his voice broke and he covered his face in James's black hair. 'I'm so _sorry_ ... I'm so sorry...'

He ever so gently set James Potter down on the ground before slipping out from under him. He ran a hand through his hair and over his distraught face. Sirius was loud when he hurried up the stairs so he wouldn't frighten Lily and Harry, so they would have some warning that someone was coming. Lily was a dangerous witch, and after possibly watching her husband die, she would be _hazardous._ Sirius didn't want to risk anything.

As he neared the landing, he saw something smoking in one of the bedrooms. The fire was weak but he realised it was the cause of the rising smoke he saw from outside. Sirius paused and looked at it, but heard more coughing; Harry's coughing. The smoke had become stronger, and was sneaking, like a thief, into all the rooms of the house. There was more rubble and glass scattered on the upstairs landing and Sirius's heart, if possible, started beating harder.

_Please let them be alright, please!_

'Lily, Lily it's Sirius,' he called out. Sirius didn't hear an answer. He held his breath as he pushed the door open. A mass of red covered the ground and his first thoughts were that the red was blood. But then he saw her pale face with a cry engraved into it, and all he could do was scream loudly and kick the door as hard as he could. 'FUCK!'

He looked back down at her body. 'Lily,' he whispered, swinging away from the image of her body and banging his head against the wall as he cried out. After a few moments of sobbing there was another hollering cough from Harry and Sirius jumped, alarmed.

'Harry,' he breathed, creeping closer, and trying to avoid looking at Lily's dead body but failing miserably. She looked so peaceful. She looked so beautiful!

Sirius paused in front of the cot and peered into it. All thoughts of Lily however left his head when he saw the deep scar engraved on Harry's forehead, a trickle of scarlet blood flowing down his nose and onto his lips. It was shaped like a lightning-bolt.

Harry started crying when he spotted a figure peering into the cot but when he recognised the chin length hair and the piercing grey eyes he smiled.

'Unc' Baddy,' he said in a quiet and shaken voice. It sounded too old for a baby barely older than one.

Sirius lifted Harry from inside the cot and kissed his black hair. 'Harry! It's alright Harry, its okay. I'm going to make sure you're alright, I'm here, Uncle Paddy is here.'

Sirius kissed his godson again, rocking the baby. But then Harry started screeching at the figure on the floor, having not seen her before when he was inside the cot. 'Liwls!' Harry hollered. 'LIWLS!'

Sirius tucked Harry into his side, and stuffed his hand into his pocket, searching for his wand to heal his Godson's scar. How ... how could _anyone _hurt such an innocent, beautiful baby boy? Why would ... why would they do such a thing? As soon as he healed his godson's forehead, he was going to send a patronus to Professor Dumbledore and tell him what had just happened.

If Dumbledore didn't already know. The man knew everything. He probably already knew that Lily and James were dead. In fact, Sirius wouldn't be surprised if Aurors were already on their way to Godric's Hollow. Dumbledore would know what to do.

Maybe he'd be able to fix this ... bring back Lily and James...

Sirius stuck his hand into his other pocket, still searching for his wand. 'Don't worry Harry ... everything's going ... everything...' he trailed off when his hand wrapped around something that was _definitely not his wand_.

Oh, he found his wand, yes yes. But Sirius found something else too; something that could fix _everything_. He had found a golden Time Turner, glowing like a thousand stars in his hand. He stared at it, not quite understanding.

And soon, after seconds of staring, he heard a familiar bellowing call from the front door. A voice that was deep and gruff.

Hagrid was here.

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><p>Did you enjoy it? Was it crap? Please leave a comment just to tell me what you thought about it; favourite line, favourite part etc. Thank you very much and enjoy the rest of your day!<p>

Take care!

_xo_


	2. A Choice Through Love

_Disclaimer; I do not own anything but future OCs and the plot. Thanks guys! _

_A/N: This chapter is more of a thoughtful chapter rather than an action chapter, but there'll be loads of action in the next chapter._

_Thanks for reading, please leave a review, they honestly make me so happy! _

_Enjoy the rest of your day & take care_

_- xo_

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><p><em>xoxo<em>

_2. A Choice Through Love_

Sirius looked down at the Time Turner. For time was running out and Hagrid was walking into the house; any moment he would see James. Sirius held back the tears at the mere thought of his best friend lying dead on the floor. He would do anything to bring James Potter back, anything at all. And yet the answer to bring James back lay in his hands! This Time Turner was the answer to everything. All he had to do was escape, get away and hide for a bit from the pain, heck; from the _world_ because everyone, even _Dumbledore_, thought Sirius was the secret keeper.

Right now he was the enemy. He was the one who would be blamed for Peter's blunder. Ever the impulsive fool, he snatched the first thought in his mind – to leave. Sirius kissed Harry on the head, avoiding the blood and telling his godson that he loved him so much. Then he set the boy back down in the cot. If he was going to play this, he would have to play it perfectly. He needed to make Hagrid believe he had just gotten here. Sirius didn't know just how dim the man was; but if the half-giant even suspected Sirius helped contribute to the Potters deaths, he would have to battle. He didn't want to battle. He barely had enough energy to keep his eyes open.

Sirius transformed into his Animagus form; a grizzly and enormous black dog with soft but shaggy fur and an angry snare. Sirius jumped through the shattered window, landing quite perfectly on all fours. Though the house wasn't tall his paws tingled painfully. Sirius transformed back into his human self, shaking his messy hair and wiping the tears from his eyes.

Then he hurried around the house and back to the smashed front door. Number Seven, Godric's Hollow really did look awful. The glass torn from the windows lay on the ground outside. The door had splintered, and sprays on wood littered the ground in all directions. The shadows of black smoke rising from the tops hadn't stemmed, but if possible, increased, which meant fire upstairs hadn't slowed down. Sirius suddenly wished he had put it out. Harry was still up there! And if anything happened to Lily's body Sirius would never forgive himself.

She had looked so peaceful in death, the height of beauty if possible. She had looked fierce and protective. Her eyes were wide open and glassy; like Divination orbs. But the emerald spheres showed strong emotion, almost as if she was relieved.

Sirius bound through the door and barely restrained himself when he caught a glimpse of James's body. He looked away sharply before he started crying again. But a frightened gasp slipped out his mouth.

'HAGRID?' he cried and in answer enormous footsteps stampeded down the stairs instantly. Before he even had time to blink, Sirius became acquainted with Hagrid's umbrella.

'Oh ... it's yeh, I thought ... nevamind.' Hagrid's voice shook, betraying the strong emotion he felt. He had Harry tucked in one hand as though he weighed nothing more than a bag of feathers. The half-giant had enormous tears rolling down his face; the same size as Harry's fists. And his gigantic lower lip was trembling.

Sirius swallowed hard. _Get yourself together! You need to pull this off!_

He opened and closed his mouth twice, unable to squeal the words that were stuck behind the enormous lump in his throat. 'A-Are they ...'

Hagrid wiped an enormous tear from the corner of his eye. 'Yeh, they're dead Sirius.'

Sirius turned to look at the part of James peeping through the door, and he sharply looked away, biting his lip to stop from bursting into tears. It didn't work.

It wasn't hard to fake anguish at all because he really did feel heartbroken, sure he was in shock, but he felt like he was _dying_ inside, quite literally. If anything, all the emotions he was feeling now were the emotions he had been trying to battle away into the strongest corner of his mind. The enormous man patted Sirius's shoulder comfortingly.

A few seconds passed where the only sound was the sobbing from Sirius as he struggled to get a grip of himself. Now the floodgate was open, it felt like it could never be closed. He breathed in and out several times to try and compose himself. 'H-Hagrid ... g-give H-Harry to me; I'll take ca-care of him-' he barely managed to stutter, wiping his face furiously. He was too young to feel such hurt.

Hagrid looked torn between the suggestion but after a few seconds deliberation stubbornly shook his head. 'I can' Sirius. I'm sorry! But I've gotta get him to Dumbledore, I'm not allowed to give him to anyone, he said I'm not allowed.'

Sirius looked up with a livid face flickering past the pained expression. 'Give him to me, I'm his godfather.' The tone he said it with was both dangerous and intimidating, even for a half-giant.

Again, he was answered with a hesitant pause. 'I know Sirius, I know, but I can' give 'em over.'

Sirius bit his lip, and almost burst out into protestations. He really did want Harry, he was the boy's damn godfather, if there was anyone who should be taking care of Harry, it was him. If the boy's parents thought that Sirius was good enough, then who was Dumbledore to decide where and what happened with Harry? But if he changed the course of time then Harry would never need to be taken care of by anyone other than his Mother and Father.

'Hagrid— Urgh,' he hissed, gritting his teeth. 'Fine, okay! Fine! Just ... just take my motorbike then, and make sure you're invisible. Don't let anyone see you! Try and stay safe. And prot- ... please protect him Hagrid, Harry needs to stay safe, dear God protect him for me!'

Hagrid nodded obediently, and Sirius moved out of the way to let him lumber down the stairs. 'You gotta get out of here too Sirius,' the enormous man said, 'You-Know-Who might be comin' back. He's not here ya' see.'

The young man nodded. He knew Voldemort wasn't here. The scar engraved in his godson's forehead wasn't a normal scar, but a cursed one. Though Sirius wasn't sure what kind of scar it was, he knew that it was a powerful and evil one. Being a Black made him very observant when it came to such things; almost like he had a radar that detected Dark Magic. Sirius had a secret though, he loved using Dark Magic. In actual fact, it wasn't much of a secret. Almost all his fellow Order members resented him for it.

'Where is he?' Now he thought about it, he wondered where Voldemort actually was.

'Dunno, but I do know he's gotta be hurt, else he woulda finished the job!'

Sirius nodded, understanding that Hagrid was right. Yet a hurt Voldemort wasn't enough, he wanted a _dead_ Voldemort, and a bunch of dead Death Eaters too. And a dead Peter!

'Go on, get out of here! And make sure my godson makes it to Dumbledore safe.' Harry was offered to him, to say goodbye, and Sirius took the small boy.

Harry looked up with excited eyes, laughing. Sirius plastered a fake smile on his face and kissed his godson's forehead. 'Give me a kiss Harry,' he said, and was rewarded with a large sloppy kiss on the flesh between his nose and his lips. Sirius's smiled wavered, and he stroked his godson's cheek.

'Be good Harry, be good for Prongs and Lils, okay?' He had to comfort the boy, and it worked, at the mention of his parents, Harry stopped squirming and smiled, blowing a spit bubble. 'I love you so much, _so _much Harry. You don't-' his voice broke and he couldn't continue. But he did however cuddle his godson to his body once more, nuzzling Harry's neck and kissing him briefly on the cheek. 'I love you,' he whispered.

And then Hagrid and Harry were gone.

Sirius took out his wand and whispered the spell to make his motorbike visible to Hagrid, and after a minute he could hear the roaring of his beautiful black bike and the rush of air as it took off into the black autumn night.

Sirius fell onto the stairs, with his pain huddled up inside. Because Sirius had learnt from his instructor and faithful friend Moody that pain before a battle equals pain in a battle. He couldn't afford to be upset. He was going to make a very difficult decision and he needed somewhere remote where no one could find him so he would finally be able to make his mind up.

Sirius hurried up the stairs to put the fire out after his breathing turned laboured and his chest constricted. As he passed by he saw a glimpse of red and his heart hurt. Lily Evans, perhaps the most honourable person to ever be invited into the Marauder group. She was the love of James's life, the one who helped them through all their hardships. She was the one who held Sirius's hand when his Mother invited him to see Regulus's mutilated body. The worst day of his life; by _far _the worst day. He couldn't get in the image of his dead baby brother out of his mind.

He had touched his brother's hand, and marvelled at how destroyed Regulus looked. And how he seemed a little bigger; was chubbier the right word? And his hair had looked lighter than it was supposed to be; everyone in Sirius's family had either jet black hair or blond hair. Nothing in between. He had hugged his brother's dead body for the last time, looking at the mutilated face and wishing death upon the person who had done this.

Lily had come to comfort him, and told him it was all going to be okay. She explained about how when her Mother had died, she felt like giving up too, but she had to stay strong for James and the Marauders. Lily had always been so good to him, so protective of Sirius. Only she could see past his tough-man façade. She was the one who slapped Rose Taten when the bitch was leaving for Australia without giving it much thought. She had decided to leave the day before and asked Sirius for money, telling him she didn't love him anymore. He gave her the money. This had gotten Lily really angry.

Lily was his guardian angel in many ways. Sirius knelt down and gently closed her eyes, rearranging her arms (which were sticking out at an awkward and probably painful position had she been alive) and then kissing her forehead tenderly after he wrapped his arms around her. 'Sweet dreams, Lily, I'll see you soon...' he whispered, brushing her hair from her face.

He conjured a blanket and tucked it around her body, to keep her warm. She was dead. But he didn't care. He wanted her to be warm. Lily hated being cold.

Sirius fell back on his heels and watched her for a moment, serene and beautiful in her life long sleep. He coughed hard, realising that a lot of the grey smoke still lingered. He looked up at the sky above him, for the roof had been blown off.

Godric's Hollow was a place of Muggles and magical folk living together in blissful unison. There wasn't much light pollution and the stars and constellations were shining brighter than he had ever seen. He could name Orion and Gemini and Leo, and he could see himself twinkling in the inky black sky; the brightest and perhaps the loneliest.

Would he always remain like that? He had been lonely until he went to Hogwarts, and now, a few years after he left, was he doomed to follow the fate his brother had followed; a fate of evil and cold and loneliness. He would rather die. But then again, his brother had died too. Cautiously and gently, he got up with a final look at Lily. Sirius stumbled down the stairs in a drunken haze. He hadn't fully decided what he would do, but he was going to use the Time Turner. Maybe he would kill Peter, a Peter from the future perhaps? Or a Peter from the past?

Unable to look at James's frozen body, he stepped over his friend and into the kitchen, pulling open the alcohol cupboard and grabbing a few bottles of firewhiskey. He shrunk them and slipped them into his pockets after draining a whole can of Brutus's Beer.

Moody had always been a good teacher. He had taught Sirius many things, and Moody had always said Sirius was perhaps his best and most talented student. He had always been good at fighting, and after Regulus died, he had become an Auror.

Sirius had always said in his last year of Hogwarts that he wasn't going to get a job for a few years, and '78 and most of '79 were blissful years, until two days before his birthday he discovered that his baby brother was dead. Well naturally he threw away his wishes of "not rushing his life" and "taking it one step at a time" and Sirius Black became an Auror. This was record time of six months training with a man who still scared the bollocks off of him but always managed to make a six in the morning till nine at night training session both fun and exhilarating.

And now? Now Sirius was the head of his Auror class of eighteen, and fast becoming a legend amongst even the older professionals. Moody's protégé, they called him. Sirius had of course had his fair share of losses, five out of thirty eight. Coincidentally, they had all happened when things were raging on in his life.

'_Keep your mind of the task!_' That's what Moody would often say. '_You bring your personal life too often onto the battlefield, and that could lose you the fight! We wouldn't want your pretty little face ending up looking like mine now, eh?'_

Sirius had laughed when Moody said that, and told Moody he was beautiful just the way he was, ending up with a cane shaped mark on his bum. It had sort of hurt, not that he would ever admit it. He tried to think what Moody would do. Instead, however, he heard the voice of his mentor lecturing him.

'_Now,' the voice snapped. 'I liked Potter; he was a lot like you but with stupid hair. And I sure as hell didn't want someone strong and good at fighting dying, but he's gone. And you turning back the clocks and fixing this, though a perfect solution, is wrong. You're not God Sirius, as pretty as you are; you can't go 'round playing God and giving life to those you love.'_

Sirius cried out in anguish, burying his face in his hands. Why wasn't anything simple? But of course, no, he was going to fight for James. There was no question about it. Why did he even doubt himself? The answer was obvious; he was going to go back and fight for James. If their friendship meant anything to him, he would do what was right. Letting James die was not right.

Sirius sat at the kitchen table, and peeping through the door was one of his friend's legs. A sob almost escaped but he furiously bit his tongue. He started hitting his head on the hard table. Before he knew it, he swept every glass and plate off the surfaces and watched them smash on the floor. He roared and kicked the table, spitting and thrashing. This wasn't fair. How could Peter _do_ this to them, how could he do this to _him_?

Couldn't he kill Peter from in the past and prevent all of his from happening? But of course, no he couldn't. He couldn't kill an innocent friend, if in fact he had it in him to kill Peter at all.

After ten minutes of hefty work and without using his wand, he had gently lay James down on the sofa, moisture from his eyes leaking silently down his face. He turned a piece of parchment on the floor into a red blanket; James's favourite colour, and tucked it around the still and lifeless body.

Wiping a trickle of perspiration off his brow, he surveyed James. He surveyed James with a longing, pained expression.

'I'm sorry,' he said softly.

He pressed a rushed kiss to his friend's forehead before transforming into Padfoot and getting as far away as he could from the dead bodies of his friends. He had never felt so ... so confused! No doubt about it, he wanted James by his side with that ready grin on his face and the casual arrogance both boys revelled in.

As an animal Sirius often found his emotions tamed, like a wild animal in a cage. And that was what he usually thought of his anger as; an uncontrollable and savage beast. But his Animagus form was like a cage. He couldn't feel the sorrow as strongly, or the anger. And so he often took a few moments to sit under a tree with the night sky blazing in his dog form to calm down, to mute everything in the world so he could collect his emotions and feelings.

Sirius ran until his paws ached at the sheer force and speed he was travelling at. His shaggy fur was tousled in the autumn wind and leaves flew in his face but he growled and they somehow fell. Maybe nature was on his side? He didn't know how long he ran for, but the sky had gone from inky black to a glowing navy blue and he knew he had to make a choice as soon as he could. He had to make it before the Aurors and the Order started looking for him, or rather, before they _found_ him.

Sirius had run to the Forest of Umber, not very far from Godric's Hollow. It was a Muggle forest and possessed no magical creatures. There were no beautiful snow white unicorns loping through, nor were there gleaming salamanders stomping past. It was quiet. Still.

Padfoot leaned against a dark tree and after a few long seconds, slowly and almost painfully, he transformed. His hair was hopelessly tousled, his smouldering silver eyes were red like blood and his face was white as a sheet of parchment. But he wasn't crying anymore and he wasn't screaming.

He was much like the forest; quite and still. And he sat like that for a long while, drinking the now fully sized bottles of firewhiskey and savouring the burning feel travelling deep to his core. It must have been two bottles later when he sadly realised he _wasn't_ drunk enough to forget about what had happened.

But he did however realise what decision he was going to make. Oh yes, he now knew what he was going to do. He wouldn't waste time with Peter Pettigrew. He wouldn't kill him ... _just yet. _He was going to go back to the past, ten days before now. Ten days when James told him about the need for a secret keeper. Because two days after James told him the spell had been cast.

Yes, he would go back and fix it.

But a voice appeared in his head, sharp and angry and indignant. The voice was Moody's. '_What you're doin' it wrong laddie!' _

'Oh piss off Moody,' Sirius thought furiously, gnawing on his bottom lip. He destroyed the bottles and then sat back, leaning on the dark tree. Would he have done this for Regulus? Probably not. Regulus's death wasn't his fault. Not directly anyway. As much as he loved his brother, he knew that he could do nothing to stop his death. But this, _this_ was his fault. The reason that Lily and James was stone cold dead and Harry was now an orphan was all his fault.

He had to fix this. He had the answer in his hands. Well not literally in his hands, but in his pocket. He was now the person who determined the future of his brother, his little sister and his godson. He was God.

Sirius ran a hand through his hair. Was this right? Was this _really_ right? Nothing could ever be really right, because life wasn't black and white. It was a mixture of grey; such dark grey and such pale shades. This was grey. This was wrong and this was right. Sirius knew that in the end it would turn out right.

But his life was over. No one but him, Lily, James and Peter knew that he wasn't the real secret keeper. To everyone else he was a traitor, a snake. Like his filthy Slytherin family. And it wouldn't be hard to believe. He was the original heir to The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. One of the darkest and cruellest families around. The only decent ones, he thought, were Uncle Alphard and Andromeda. Regulus _used_ to be decent, but then again, most Blacks had at one point been alright.

Except for his Mother of course. Sirius couldn't imagine his dear Mother ever being nice when she was younger. And Bellatrix was the same, but she was even more of an extreme case. Bellatrix was _barking mad! _That much he was sure of; she would never change.

No, his life was definitely over. He was probably already being looked for. Posters right now were being produced, the word of his "betrayal" was being spread; and when his Mother found out he could already picture the proud and triumphant expression on her face. She had never liked the Potters, she was probably happy as a matter of fact.

_'I knew he would follow in his destined footsteps, the boy was just too damn stubborn and proud to come to terms with who he really is! And now he has! He's killed the Potters; he's done a huge favour to us as a pureblood community...'_

She would brag to anyone who listened. But Sirius was sure deep down she didn't believe a word being said. His Mother knew him inside out; she was his Mother after all. She knew Sirius like the back of her hand; she knew he was innocent somehow.

Sirius could almost see Remus's devastated face when he found out. He imagined the murderous expression after his grief and shock wore off. He imagined the loneliness and sadness when the anger faded. Sirius didn't want a lonely Remus; he wanted _his _Remus, just like he wanted his James. His family.

Sirius knew that the deaths of his friends wouldn't do any good. It would do _wrong._ And he couldn't let that happen, he just couldn't sit back and watch.

So, fumbling through his pocket to try and find the Time Turner, he pulled out the stunning gold necklace.

Ten days. He would go back ten days and ten days only.

Suddenly, the thought hit him. He wondered how the Time Turner had gotten in his pocket. He couldn't remember. Had he put it there? Not once had he even thought of its sudden and very much needed appearance. Was it destiny that put the small circular chain in his pocket? It must have been fate. But was it a trap? Was it a test? It couldn't be. This all felt so real.

Sirius remembered learning about Time Turners, learning of its danger and its extreme power. How turning back time for one's personal gain and without consent from the Minister himself could result in a life of imprisonment in the horrid fortress Azkaban.

Perhaps his worst nightmare, aside from his friends dying, was living in a prison filled to the brim with Dementors. Sirius remembered his punishments in the cellar, days with Boggarts in his presence. And boy, were they horrid, with evil laughs and eyes so dark, showing no mercy. He usually beat himself raw trying to escape.

Regulus would shove soggy toast under the cellar door and get in trouble for it. And Sirius would hug his brother after his Mother released him and ordered Haughty or Kreacher to bathe him and heal him. He would promise Regulus after he was bathed that he would do anything for his brother. Well he was. Just for a different brother.

Sirius nodded vehemently; passionately as all aspects of his mind agreed that this was the only way forward. There was no question about it. He almost slapped his head but laughed instead in that cold, tingling way that always had the Marauders questioning his mental stability.

How could he even _consider_ turning away from James and Lily. He couldn't do that to them.

He traced the golden casing, and ran his fingers over the long loping chain and he smiled softly.

_I'll make things right Jimmy, I promise. I've done so many bad things; I've been such a bad person. But doing this for you and Lily ... it would almost be like redeeming myself, wouldn't it? And I know you'd cry and scream if you ever found out and you'd tell me you've cheated death but I know you would do the same for me without even batting an eyelash. Dear God, I love you guys so much._

He had done such bad things in his life, and apart from all the brotherly reasons behind doing what he was doing, this was his one chance of redemption. And who knows? Maybe in a year or so James would die again but Sirius would know he tried. And that was all that mattered. Screw Moody and his lectures; screw his family and his God-forsaken name. But most importantly screw You-Know-Who, He Who Must Not Be Named, Lord Voldemort. Screw him for ever thinking he could take away Sirius's family and get away with it.

Sirius smiled as he turned the dial ten days back before throwing the chain over his head.

He cried out. It was worse than apparating, worse than flying two hundred miles per hour. It was like being sucked into a black hole. He _was _being sucked into a black hole. Sucked into the Time Turner's black hole.


	3. But What is Redemption?

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><p><em>xoxo<em>

_3. But What is Redemption?_

Sirius was sucked into the Time Turner. It was nauseating and a little painful but it also felt exhilarating and invigorating, if he could feel all those feelings at the same time that is.

When he smacked down to the ground, it was in the exact same forest, leaning against the exact same tree. He fell hard and hit his head against the trunk. He swore and rubbed frantically at the spot on his head, trying to stop the pain from spreading. But it was too late.

Ouch. That really had hurt.

Sirius looked around. The sky was lighter, the air was a little chillier and he felt a lot calmer. But instead of jumping up and racing to Potter Manor or looking for his past-self, Sirius thought "What Would Moony Do?", a little expression the Marauders had invented during Hogwarts. Yes, Sirius was going to sit down and think up a logical, clear plan that would _work. _He had a brilliant mind when he thought; he was just too impulsive when his feelings were too strong. Which was often.

When he was excited, he danced until his muscles groaned in pain. When he was angry, he went and picked fights with a bunch of Slytherins; clearly outnumbered four to one but too proud to back down. During lust, Sirius fucked anyone, _anything_. And when he was sad he ran away, or he hid from everyone until he was ready to face them.

But this wasn't a time to let his pride or his impetuousness get in the way of such an important mission. As Moody often said, he couldn't let his emotions get in the way. And though it was too late for that, he had to think of this as a mission as opposed to saving the lives of his best friends; his _family._

So here was the plan. He would go to James and tell him he was from the future and to not let the past-Sirius persuade him to use Peter as a secret keeper. Whose bright idea was making Peter a secret keeper anyway? Aah. It was his idea. His arrogance once again had been his downfall. If Sirius hadn't thought he was so clever, so smart, then none of this would have happened.

Because he had thought, along with the whole of the Death Eater population that if the Potters were to have a secret keeper he himself would be their first contender. And he was. Naturally, Lily and James had invited him over and told him about their dire situation and he leapt at the opportunity to be the protector of his friends, without them even asking; without them persuading him like they thought they may need to. But after a good night's thinking and an eager morning with James, had he really and deeply thought the plan through.

And suddenly, Sirius thought that maybe him being the secret keeper was a _good_ idea. He thought for a long time, chewing on his lip and rubbing his head as he whispered to himself. Soon, his attention was stolen by a memory, a bitter memory of the fatal day he proposed the idea of Peter being secret keeper.

The day that would hold his biggest regret.

_x_

'_No James, of course I want to be your secret keeper. I volunteered; I wouldn't volunteer if I didn't want to be your protector. But it's the most obvious choice. I'm your best friend! I was your best man, I'm Harry's godfather and I'm like your brother, I_ am_ your brother ... they'll come straight after me and I know deep down I'd never give you over but it's not a risk I want to take.'_

_James nodded, as though everything was finally sinking in. His incorrigible hair was covered with a hat, and there were deep dark bags under his eyes. The knowledge that the Potters were being hunted by Voldemort had taken its toll on James. He wasn't sleeping, wasn't eating, and he was more scared than he ever had been during his twenty one years._

_Sirius fell down onto his knees in front of his friend. 'You know me James; you're one of the only people who truly know me.' And he gave his friend a look with more than a million thoughts behind it. James sighed._

'_Tell me your plan,' he said with an exhausted voice that was too old for someone so young._

_Sirius put his hands softly on his friend's shoulders and poked his head in a jokey way. It was supposed to offer some comfort if that was even possible. 'I'm ... I'm going to pretend to be your secret keeper, but when they find me, I won't have the secret. They'll torture me, but they won't kill me. They'll try Veritiserum, they'll use Occlumency, and they'll use the Cruciatus Curse and Imperio. They'll be desperate Jimmy, and they'll be determined. My reputation precedes me. The Death Eaters will pin it on my stubbornness, my pride and arrogance. They won't think that it could ever be anyone else.'_

_James's eyes were widening as the truth of his friend's words sunk in. 'You're right Pads, you're totally right.'_

'_I know boo, I know. Now, the secret will reside inside Wormy, and they'll never guess it could possibly be him. They would never think that Peter Pett—'_

'_Why Peter?' interrupted James abruptly. Sirius drew back a little, shocked by the intensity of his friend's piercing words. _

'_What?'_

'_Why Wormtail? Why not Moony? I mean I love Peter but Remus is more ... he's a lot more intelligent and he can get himself out of tight situations better than me and Peter ... though now I think about it I'm not sure if he'd be better at escaping than you.'_

_Sirius chewed his lip. Should he be honest and risk getting James mad? He couldn't risk angering or worrying his friend, and his assumption was really just that; an assumption. He didn't exactly believe that Remus John Lupin was bad, just a big liability. And Sirius was fiercely protective. He felt a little uneasy around Peter too, in fact around anyone really. _

'_I think ... I think Moony would be a better candidate too, and I know he's the most trustworthy of us all but Jimmy...'_

'"_But Jimmy" what?' and there was that apprehensive and worried glint in James's eye. As though he was anticipating awful news. _

_'Don't worry Prongs, he hasn't done anything. I'm just worried. Remus is the most loyal of us all, he would never harm either of us. But when he's a werewolf ... when he's transformed on a full moon they could use him, the Death Eaters, the Dark Lord—'_

'_Voldemort, yes—'_

'_Voldemort,' resumed Sirius with an exasperated expression, ignoring the habit his family had gotten him into from a young age. 'Voldemort could take him when he's in his form and extract the information. And Voldemort will hunt you, after he's done with Remus – or maybe Remus would kill himself from the guilt —'_

'_Stop! Stop Sirius, stop!' James cried, with a heartbroken expression. 'You're right Sirius, you're right! But stop. I can't even think of what Moony would do to himself if he ever gave us away. And I know that you're right too, 'bout Voldemort using his wolf form to extract the information but stop. Please stop.' And the indignation and the tragedy and the sorrow suddenly went out, like an extinguished flame. _

_James slumped against the sofa and buried his head into the cushion. He took out his wand and waved it and a bottle of Ogden's finest wine zoomed into his hand. He didn't even conjure a glass, but pulled the stopped out and gulped greedily. As though a bottle of wine would help drown out the grief of the situation._

'_I'm sorry James,' Sirius whispered sadly, getting up off his knees and sitting besides his friend. He took the bottle when offered and gulped with the same frantic and anxious hunger. He wiped his lips as he softly relished in the tingle through his body and the sweet and ripe flavour._

'_I'm sorry, and I know Remus would be the least likely to sell us out but it would be wiser to use Pete.'_

_James nodded, slowly at first. In fact, Sirius thought that maybe Ogden's wine was already taking affect but no, he realised James was just so far out of it. _

_'It doesn't matter though. Either way I endanger you. Either way, whomever I use, you'll take the brunt of this Sirius. You'll be the one hunted, lusted after. And I can't lose you. Not again. Not after fifth year, not after that depression you went into when Rose left—'_

'_Regardless of whoever it is, they'll always think it's me. You could choose my Mother, and she'd come begging to Voldemort, telling him she has the secret inside her but they wouldn't believe her. They'd think it's me. And rightly so! I want to do this; I want to be your bait.'_

'_I don't want to lose you.'_

'_And you think I want to lose you?' Sirius snapped back, harsher than he intended. He softened his expression. They could hear wailing from upstairs and Sirius sprung up. 'Look, we'll propose the idea to Peter later; right now I have a godson to attend too.'_

'_It's alright Sirius, I'll do it.'_

'_No, you have enough on your mind without changing Harry's nappies. Besides, I don't mind doing it. It's fun really; I almost miss having my backside thoroughly wiped for me. And I love thinking up shapes of what his shit reminds me off—'_

_James laughed softly, the first true smile Sirius had seen him wear. And he felt like he had accomplished something. Perhaps he wouldn't win Rose Taten back, and perhaps he'd lose his next Death Eater fight, but this laughter, this_ smile _represented something greater than any of that. Because it was the day his friend started hoping again, after losing so much faith before._

'_There's something wrong with your brain Pads!'_

_o_

Sirius closed his eyes and opened them again. Then he closed them once more. It was a horrible memory. The day his friend started to believe; the day his friend dared to hope. And less than two weeks later he was betrayed. Sirius laughed coldly.

They cast the charm the day before Peter's birthday party. Peter had gone and done all of this when Sirius, James and Remus had thrown him a luxurious and lavish party in Gillyweed, a much celebrated and lusted after restaurant where even '_Stupefy This!_' were known to go once in a while.

And they had gotten him luxurious birthday presents as they ate their lavish food and it was one of the first days in months that it was just the Marauders, and only the Marauders, going out together without the worry of Remus not affording it, or Peter not being available, or Mad Eye's damn patronus bursting in on them and telling Sirius to get his pretty arse over to the Ministry.

Now Sirius came to think of it that was the first time in over a year that they had gone out together. Gone out without any worries and without the responsibilities falling on their shoulders. And it had been nice. So very, very _nice._

Suddenly, he discarded his idea to tell this past-James. No. He was going straight to the problem; himself. Sirius almost smiled at the absurdity of the idea.

He straightened up, massaging the bruise on the back on his head. It was going to take him a while to get out of the forest without transforming, since the firewhiskey he had consumed decided now of all times to kick right in. And boy did it kick in. He grunted a little as he walked, the forest managing to be in half a dozen places at once.

Sirius tried to recall what he had been doing the day he proposed his idea to James. He had gone to the Ministry to talk to Moody, who ordered he finish the report due tomorrow. Afterwards he had gone shopping for a very adorable Halloween costume to buy Harry – he had chosen a Pumpkin Suit from a shop in Diagon Alley that roared when Harry was annoyed and squealed when delighted. Yes, nifty magic it was. Afterwards he had dropped by to give the Potters the gift and to deliver his proposal. So where was he to go? Of course – to Diagon Alley.

He would wait at the spot where he always stowed his magical bike during visits to Diagon Alley. He would wait until he saw himself and would present the truth. But what was the time? Waving his wand and muttering, 'Tempus,' lights flickered like sun rays before his eyes forming a clock. It was a bit after nine. Had he been sitting for that long? Had James and Lily been gone for that long? It had been before midnight when Sirius had gotten to Godric's Hollow and found his friends dead.

He bit his lip as he vigorously shook his head to clear the horrid memory.

No, his past-self was definitely going to be in the Ministry till at least half ten. Ah, he had a few hours to kill. But how to kill them?

Hmmm. Hard question. Oh, he had the perfect solution. The Leaky Cauldron. And then he grinned. He was going to make everything right. He was going to save James and Lily, he was going to prevent Harry from becoming an orphan and he was _not_ going to let them die in vain.

Sirius closed his eyes (thinking of how much more he preferred riding his beautiful motorbike) and thought of the place he wanted to go. And before he knew it, he was outside the rugged and old doors to the Leaky Cauldron where he'd have some coffee and visualise just how painful he wished to make Peter's death.

A cold and merciless smile flickered over his face.

_xo_

Sirius sat for a long time, contemplating. He knew this wasn't what was supposed to happen. Fate didn't mean for Sirius to change the course of time. Otherwise he would remember seeing his future self, frenzied and hysterical and pleading for him to not copy the mistakes destiny set out for him but to forge his own path instead. But regardless of fate, this was what he wanted to do; what he hoped to accomplish.

Why else would a Time Turner appear in his pocket? When he had been begging for a solution to the problem Peter had started? Fate was a path forged, Sirius knew that. But since when had he ever followed the paths set out for him?

He thought about what he was going to say to himself, when he got there. Was he going to jump straight onto the wagon or explain for a bit? And what would his past self do? Because if someone looking and sounding exactly like him jumped out and begged him not to persuade James to use Peter, he'd probably stun the bastard and run away.

No, he had to think this through very carefully. He couldn't risk his plan failing. He had one shot, one shot to make sure the right Marauder stayed secret keeper. Sirius drank his tea, licking his lips and setting it down. He wasn't in the mood to be looked up and down the way he was by some of the witches passing through to enter Diagon Alley. He wasn't in the mood to be scrutinised by a few of the men, as if they were sizing him up.

All he wanted to do was go home, or James's which _was_ his home, in every meaning of the word. He wanted to cuddle up near the fireplace listening to the fool of a Minister declaring that they were advancing in the war. He wanted to hear Remus's long lecture on irresponsible behaviour when he got back from a scuffle in Knockturn Alley with a banged up hand and a split lip. He wanted to hear Lily's snide comments agreeing with Remus whilst James tended to his wounds and joked around with him, asking why he hadn't been invited. And more than anything, he wanted to hear Harry crying.

But in less than twenty four hours his world had spun out of control, and he very nearly lost all sense of life and morality. Sirius wasn't someone who clung to life with their very fingertips, like his Mother. He wasn't someone who loved life, in fact most of the time he hated it. Because life was brought people like Voldemort.

People who destroyed the love so many held dear to them and instead brought with it the terrible war which killed so many innocent.

'Tempus,' he muttered again. Seeing the time, Sirius slowly got up, left a solid gold galleon on the table and nodded at Tom the landlord. Tom grinned at him. He ambled over to the brick wall which concealed the entrance to the busiest street in British Wizarding History.

He tapped the bricks with his wand and patiently waited as they melted away, revealing hundreds of rushing witches and wizards; and shops covered with posters to try and attract customers. His walk to the place he always concealed his motorbike was a ten minute walk, and his slow stroll indicated to most that he had time to kill, and no need to rush. He looked around with a vague and numb interest; too consumed in his own problems and issues.

Every time he saw a man of the same height as James, he couldn't remove the mental image of his lifeless corpse spread out on the floor. When he saw a flash of red; be it hair or a poster he thought of the sad smile on Lily's face and he couldn't stop shivering.

Sirius recognised a few people, and nodded or greeted them hastily. They may have thought he was rude, or upset, or perhaps they didn't care. But Sirius hoped they didn't think he was rude, he just didn't have the patience to talk like nothing had happened; like all was well. He wanted to be alone. He didn't want to have to pretend.

The ground under his feet felt soft, like he was walking barefoot in a meadow. His eyes felt strained and raw – like they were aching from staying up all night and crying too much. His voice felt hoarse and unused, despite the screams he had cried only a few hours ago.

Finally he reached the spot where he was soon to arrive on his motorbike, and he looked around. There were high gates a few metres to his left, and a clear spot in front of him. He sat down in the comfort of shadows near a wall and crossed his legs. He balanced his wand on his knee and charmed rocks to dance in the air and spelling out words with the clouds above using a charm he had learnt when he was four.

After what seemed like a further ten or fifteen minutes he could hear the familiar groaning of his bike. Air rushed into his face as the invisible bike slowly descended to the ground. Maybe ten seconds later it flickered into view. His eyes roamed over the sleek and shiny body of the motorbike. It was pretty enormous. Then he looked at his confident and charming self and grimaced, for his past self had a ready smile and a sort of cheerfulness in his movements.

And then Sirius remembered why his past self was so happy. He'd been kept up all night by two very pretty twins. Two blonde twins, both with green eyes and rosy cheeks. They looked like _her._ But they weren't as good as _her._ No one could be as good as Rose.

Sirius breathed in deeply and then rolled his wand forward to get attention and show he was unarmed.

'I've come a very long way to tell you something, and I'd appreciate if you would stay quiet. I'm unarmed; all I want is to _talk_...'

His voice broke on the last word and his eyes became a little watery. Sirius watched as his past self looked around trying to locate the familiar voice, and evidently found it, for identical silver eyes bore into his own.

'Wh-who are you?' The frightened voice declared. 'Dammit, I know who you are! You've got to be fucking about—'

'I'm not fucking about. I'm not a Death Eater, I swear it. If I were a Death Eater I would have killed you in a second and would not've even batted an eyelash.'

Sirius watched as his slightly younger self was shaking his head furiously; accusation and disbelief apparent on his pretty face. 'You've taken Polyjuice Potion, or you've—'

'For fuck's sake! Ask me any question you damn fool, I'm running out of time.'

His younger self put a hand on his hip and cocked up an eyebrow, striving at a challenge. Sirius Black loved challenges. 'What's my middle name?'

'Betelgeuse. And no one knows this, not even Prongs.'

He watched as the man before his gaped and gawked but quickly corrected himself. 'This is ... How did- dear God. You did your research well. How ... erm ... wh-what did you find out and do because of a discovery in second year?'

'We found out Moony was a werewolf, and because of this we became Animagi which wasn't completed until our fifth year. Now can we please just get to the point?'

'Turn into your Animagus form,' ordered the younger Sirius, grinning maliciously as he thought that the "imposter" wouldn't be able to complete this part of the challenge.

Growling, but managing to keep a firm hold of his explosive anger, the _original(?) _Sirius transformed fast and quick, barking loud and baring his teeth. Then he transformed back and settled into the ground.

The younger man stuttered for a bit, looking around and then back at the time-traveller. Slowly, he waved his wand and the bike turned off. Then he sat down on the floor hesitantly before his identical and older self.

'Why are you here?' young Sirius whispered breathlessly.

'I'm here because I need you to carve your own path, your own destiny. I need you to stay as the secret keeper for Prongs and Lily.'

His younger self gasped, and cocked up an eyebrow. 'How do you—' but the young Sirius must have remembered how his older replica was from the future. 'But I came up with the best plan—'

'I know, I know! You thought that you could use Peter as opposed to yourself because he would be less obvious but it _won't work_! Not one bit. A week after the spell is cast, Peter betrays them, he betrays _you!_'

His counterpart started shaking his head. 'No, no, you're lying. He's a Marauder, he wouldn't betray us.'

The Sirius with the bags under his eyes and the hoarse voice shook his head, and in an almost timid whisper, said – 'That's what I thought.'

There was a silence for a few minutes; quite and resounding and filled with questions that weren't asked and couldn't be answered. Sirius was patient as the younger boy took time to adjust to the unbelievable fact he had just heard. It settled deep in his mind, like a poisonous seed and started to grow.

Peter Pettigrew; how could Peter betray them? How could he? But then again Peter was always one for self-preservation. He had always been scared and reluctant to duel with Slytherins purely for pride, especially when the Marauders were clearly outnumbered and knew they would lose. He had always been scared to dash off to the kitchens but loved when the others did it. To put it bluntly, Peter had no backbone. But after all Remus, Sirius and James had done for him, the Marauders had never expected his betrayal. But thanks to Sirius, they would never have to know.

He would just find some way to get rid of Peter.

'This is ... so much to take in.' a startled voice whispered. 'What do I do?'

'I came back because I don't want you to be the reason they die. I don't want us to get the blame for their deaths because that will happen! It ... It was horrible.' Sirius croaked as the images of the exploded home and the dead bodies of his friends sprawled across the floor flickered like a flame in his mind. 'Harry survived, Harry _survives,_ but Pro—' He stopped himself, feeling a large lump in his throat settle, preventing him from opening his mouth and finishing the sentence. 'They don't survive.' His voice broke.

There was a silence ... then - 'You came all this way?'

'I came all this way to make sure you do it! Or you get Dumbledore or Moony ... someone, _anyone_ but Peter to become their secret keeper.'

There was a silence with a volume and depth to it, unfathomable to anyone other than Sirius. It was a pregnant pause that echoed for a few moments and finally, the Sirius who still had yet to choose which path to take, nodded.

'I'll be their secret keeper of course. I only trust myself for it, now more than ever. I ... I'll be their protector. And I won't let Peter get away with this.'

'Good, because when I get back to my time just ten days ahead, I'm hunting the bastard down and giving him a message I hope he'll remember.'

And the anger and raw emotion in his eyes would have been enough to make even Lord Voldemort quake. It must have been twenty minutes when Sirius finally finished with explaining the whole story, of how it took quite a while to persuade James to use Peter, and how Peter had betrayed the Potters eight days after the charm was cast.

His younger self was angry; in fact angry was an understatement. He was fuming. His white skin was red and his eyes were almost golden with passion. His fists were balled and his knuckles were white.

'I'm going to kill him—'

'You can't. Death would be merciful. Curse him, _hurt him_ but don't kill him. Tell Dumbledore and have him sent to Azkaban. I'm sure Peter has the Dark Mark but we haven't seen it yet. The Order already expected a spy months ago.'

'But he's ... I can't believe he's done this. I _still_ can't believe he's done this.'

'I can't as well. But he'll get what's coming to him, don't worry.'

Then they simultaneously shivered. For they were the same man, and the fear they felt for Azkaban's Dementors was as potent in the future Sirius as it was for the past version of himself.

'And I thought Remus was most likely to be the spy, if I'm brutally honest...'

The future-Sirius barked a laugh. 'I love that man so much. I thought he was too. I feel sick with myself now.'

'I ... I was going to go shopping for Harry but I'm just not up to it...'

'Get him a Halloween costume, preferably a pumpkin.' Sirius interjected a little forcefully. 'You have to stay calm and subtle. The Sirius they know would go out and get a dancing suit or a shrieking scarf for Halloween; he wouldn't be depressed nor would he stand there and cry. You need them to think everything is alright!'

The younger man (by a few days) nodded and started breathing in and out. 'Okay, okay I'll do it. I'll be subtle and I'll stay normal. The Sirius they know.'

'The Sirius they know.' The older one settled back into the brick wall, a content though entering his mind and seeping through his body. He sighed and almost smiled. Almost.

_His job was done._

_xoxo_

He didn't have a classification for himself, because to him the man who he had just seen was a future version from ten days ahead. But if he did identify himself it would be the Sirius from Ten Days in the Past.

Sirius was still shocked at the news the sad and angry young man had told him about Peter.

It had to be a Death Eater trying to trick him. It wasn't true, it wasn't real. Peter Pettigrew hadn't sold them out for his own skin. The Marauders were a symbol that friendship was more powerful than anything; that _love_ was more powerful than anything. The Marauders were the antithesis of what Voldemort and his Death Eaters stood for. And by Peter's infidelity and unfaithfulness, it showed that Voldemort was winning and his beliefs were winning.

If the Sirius Black from the future hadn't come, was this the fate that awaited him in ten days? Being on the run whilst his best friend was dead and the Marauders' friendship lay in tatters on the ground.

Yes, that was what had awaited him. But thanks to the warning it wouldn't happen, Sirius thought. He would go to James now (he had already purchased some gifts) and would tell him he wanted to stick to the idea of him being the secret keeper. And Sirius would make a good secret keeper. He had levels of how much he could take – one to ten. The furthest anyone had ever reached was nine; and obviously it was his Mother. Only she could push his buttons like that.

Voldemort could torture him and hurt him and maybe Sirius at the end of it would be exhausted and sad but he would never, _ever_ sell his friends out. Not after he knew the consequences. The Sirius from the future had told him the instructions and then put the time turner around his neck, wished him good luck and was sucked into a sort of dark and gloomy looking vortex.

And so here he was, about to apparate to James's house and tell him he was more than glad to be the secret keeper. Only his stomach was dancing, and his throat had gone dry all thanks to a Sirius from a future that he prayed would never exist.

The handsome Black looked around and then apparated after being satisfied with the emptiness of the street he was on. He gasped for air when he arrived at the Potter Manor; apparation was not his strong suit. He much preferred riding his motorbike. He would go and get it later.

Sirius loped up to the gates, and touched it briefly with his fingertips. The gates leapt aside after warmly greeting him, and he hurried across the grass and greenery to the front door. Breathing in calmly for a good few seconds, Sirius chanted what the other had told him; _be the Sirius they know..._

He would be inconspicuous. He would be subtle. He would make sure they knew nothing was wrong.

Sirius knocked.

The door however, was not answered by James or Lily, but instead, by a tired and disappointed Dumbledore.

'Hello.'

* * *

><p><em>AN: I've tried to show clearly which Sirius is which, and I'd like to say now that for the rest of the story, the narration from Sirius will be from the past-one, the one who just found out about Peter, not the one this story started off with, if that makes sense._

_But if you don't understand which Sirius is which, feel free to PM me :) _

_This took like a week to write, so have pity on me and spend just a few moments reviewing._

_-xo_


	4. One's Impulsive Behaviour

_xoxo_

_4. One's Impulsive Behaviour_

Seeing Dumbledore with a wide but worried smile, swishing indigo robes, and those knowing eyes, well it brought back so many memories from Hogwarts, Sirius was overwhelmed. He felt a spark of nostalgia building up inside him; a wistful yearning for a past that was softer and easier and so much simpler. Seeing Dumbledore made him feel, if possible, even angrier at Peter than he had felt before Time-Turner-Sirius burst his happy bubble and told him the reality.

Sirius breathed in deeply. 'Professor,' he said politely.

'Sirius! What have I said to you—?'

'Sorry Albus; old habits die hard.' He interrupted a little tiredly. Whether Professor Dumbledore noticed, he seemed to ignore it and instead chuckled softly. He moved out of the way so Sirius could hurry into the house. Even though it was October, the air was chilly and his hands were already painfully cold. There were fires roaring throughout the house, and he relished the Potter smell that welcomed him. Well it was sort of his smell too; he had lived with James for almost three years.

It felt like he was home. Sirius gracefully meandered the corridors of the house to his favourite room, a room that held some of his dearest memories. The lounge. It had an enormous fireplace with a handsome fire brewing. The sofas were leather and dark, and the windows wide, overlooking the extravagant garden.

Dumbledore was a few steps behind, copying Sirius when he sat down. The silence was filled with a pregnant pause that had the much younger man reeling.

Sirius chewed his nails in anticipation whilst his former Headmaster continued to look him up and down with that calculating gaze. A gaze that was notorious for worming its way into a student's mind and understanding who the menace was for a prank or a crime. And from Hogwarts 1971 to 1978, the menaces more often than not, tended to be a Marauder or two.

'Drink?' asked Dumbledore.

Sirius dropped his hand from his mouth and this time he was trying to determine what Dumbledore's motive for being here was. 'Why are you here Professor?'

The old man laughed heartedly and opened his hands in an almost embracing manner. Sirius gulped. Did the old man know what had happened not two hours ago in Diagon Alley?

'I am here, Sirius, to speak to Lily and James.'

'Where are they?'

And the reply was in a quiet and almost playful tone, 'Why Sirius? Are you nervous to be alone with me?'

This time Sirius did _reel;_ he truly felt like his whole cover was blown. Dumbledore had to come and ruin everything. He would tell Sirius to suggest Peter as the future meant it to be, and Sirius would refuse, and the Headmaster would make him. Telling him how a future without his best friends was what God and the greater powers had intended to happen. And Sirius would do something rash, and then everything would mess up.

But he'd always had a way with words, a gift he had inherited from his Mother. His words could break someone's heart gently, get into a girl's knickers, or they could persuade even strict and severe teachers like McGonagall to let him off. Lying to a Headmaster from the UK's best wizarding school should be easy. _Should be._ He jutted his chin up defiantly and smiled at Dumbledore.

'Only nervous that they might not want to use me as a secret keeper.'

'Oh but they will. After all Sirius; you are the master of fidelity.'

Was that sarcasm? Or an actual compliment? Sirius gritted his teeth and suddenly felt very annoyed at his old Professor. 'May I ask you a question?' And the old man again, opened his hands in what he thought a comforting gesture. 'If you had the chance to save lives, regardless of whose lives they are, would you do it? Would you save those lives?'

Dumbledore paused briefly, and the pause did not go unnoticed by the observant and attentive Sirius. Then the old man nodded after what seemed like an age.

'What if the lives belonged to your friend? Your best, _best friend?_' His voice broke because of the overwhelming sadness he felt, sadness that he had been trying to keep under lock since he was told about Peter. It was hard. His eyes deceived him and watered.

A somewhat similar look flickered over the face of perhaps England's most powerful man. It was a sad and heartbroken expression and when Dumbledore spoke, it was a voice not of his own.

'Of course.'

'Then why are you making things difficult for me? I don't want to hurt them. They're my friends. But if I tell you, then I'll end up hurting them; killing them even. And that would kill me.' Sirius whispered as the room filled with crying from upstairs which told him that the Potters as a matter of fact _were_ at home.

Urgently, he turned to face Dumbledore. 'I can't do this to my friends.' Now there were loud footsteps, thundering down the grand staircase. Sirius could hear James's joyous laugh, and Lily's tinkering chuckle. 'This is my chance at redemption; I don't want it to become my fall.'

The old Headmaster leaned forward with his old and aged hands clasped on his knee and moisture in his eyes. 'I know about the Time Turner, Sirius—'

'Sirius!' James cried cheerfully, hurrying forward to embrace his friend who he had only seen yesterday. But the way he managed to actually lift Sirius in the air betrayed the tender love James Potter felt for his friend. 'When did you come?' He said as he set Sirius down, poking him in the arm and grinning at his friend's half-hearted scowl.

'Just now,' Sirius replied quickly, 'I wanted to give my favourite nephew slash godson his Halloween present.'

Lily stepped closer to Sirius and kissed his cheek. Her eyes were knowing whenever she looked into his and he smiled at her. Not with his mouth, but with his eyes. And only Lily had ever been able to understand one of those looks; short as their four year friendship was, they had grown so close. And he wouldn't risk their friendship for the world.

'Who gives Halloween presents?' She asked.

Sirius laughed and kissed her cheek back, tauntingly kissing the skin very close to the corner of her mouth to infuriate James. It worked. 'Someone who has too much money and not a clue what to spend it on.'

'Aah,' interrupted the Headmaster. 'I know what you mean Sirius, but whereas you indulge your friends with gifts, I buy books. And socks.'

James and Lily grinned but Sirius looked him in the eye with a furious expression. He turned back to Lily who was cradling Harry. His godson giggled at him and opened his short and chubby arms. Sirius lifted Harry into the air and gave him a big sloppy kiss on his cheek, laughing when Harry tried to return it but blew bubbles everywhere instead, especially a large one that landed on his own face.

With his other hand he conjured his satchel and pulled out the Halloween costume he had gotten for Harry. 'How d'you like your costume?' The mini Prongs squealed with happiness. 'Jamie,' Sirius mock whispered, turning to meet his friend's hazel eyes, 'I think he likes it.'

_xo_

Dumbledore had left after some time, when they had all drank some tea, and eaten some biscuits and James had tried to put Harry in the pumpkin costume. Sirius was relieved to see him go until the old man told him to visit in the morning.

'I'm sure we need to talk, and I trust you remember where my office is.' The clever man with the sweeping robes muttered softly. Then he closed the door behind him. Sirius leant against it, breathing in slightly hysterically; like the first time he rode his bike, or when he packed his trunk at home and barged past his parents to the front door.

That damn Headmaster was going to ruin everything. But not if Sirius set the future his future self begged him to do. He didn't want to become like that. Drowning in his bitter sorrow and letting the whole issue take over his life. This mission was riding on him more than ever. He had to save his friends, or die trying. Right?

He slowly and steadily walked to the kitchen, where Lily and James were.

'Prongs,' he said softly.

_Make sure they notice nothing is up, be the Sirius they know, the Sirius they love._

'Padfoot?'

'I want to be your secret keeper.'

He was answered with a silence. It was a deafening silence, one that rung through the house and assaulted every sense of Sirius's body.

The silence followed them into the lounge where they sat before the burning fire. James and Lily were _happy, _they wouldn't lie, they were so grateful. But at the same time, they were sad. _So sad._ When the red-haired Mother left to change Harry's nappy it was just the two friends left. The two best friends.

Sirius watched his friend besides him, his hazel eyes boring into the golden flames and the clogs in his brain furiously thinking up a solution, something to save the other man. Sirius didn't need to be psychic to know what James was thinking.

'Don't you dare James,' he whispered vehemently. 'Don't you _dare_ try and talk me out of this.'

'I'm ... why can't I be the secret keeper? For my own family?'

'Because James, you need to be protected too—'

'I'm not some little girl!' He cried angrily. His hazel eyes were smouldering, and his skin was red. He looked angry, no, he looked _livid_. And for a moment, Sirius was a little scared.

'No one's calling you a little girl. But how would it help if you were killed? How would it do anything for the Greater Good?'

James started shaking his head angrily. 'I don't want to lose you—'

Sirius finally understood. His dear friend wasn't upset because everyone assumed he couldn't protect his family. His friend was sad because of the danger it put _him_ in. And he was touched. He really was.

'Out of anyone who could become your secret keeper, I would be the best choice. Who cares if I die? I'm not important compared to the thousands of witches and wizards that would be saved. Don't worry about me James, don't worry about one man.'

Prongs buried his face in his hands and moaned in grief. 'If they get you—'

'I won't be caught Prongs.'

'They'll torture you—'

'I won't give in.'

'They'll kill you—'

'Death is but the next great adventure.' A quote from Dumbledore, if he was correct.

'Exactly! You're not taking this seriously! And I can't have my best friend, my brother, dying because of his rash, stupid personality! Sirius, you _thrive_ in battles and I don't want to be the reason you die. I love you so much man! I can't agree ... I can't agree to _this._'

'James look at me,' he ordered. James didn't look at him. He grabbed his friend's face forcefully and met the scared eyes. 'I'll come back, I promise. If they catch me, I'll escape. If they torture me, I'll hold on to my mind. And if I die ... well you'll be stuck with me then because my ghost will forever haunt the Potter Manor.'

James made a noise that seemed half way between a laugh and a sniffle. A watery chuckle, Sirius called it. He hugged his friend for a long moment.

He had to come back. And even if he didn't, his friends would be alive and that was all that mattered, right?

'What are you two doing?' Lily chirped from the doorway.

'Your idiot of a husband doesn't want me to be secret keeper,' and the smile on Lily's face fell. She dropped her head, a little embarrassed.

'This isn't something to decide gently Sirius.' Her tone was miserable. She sat on the other side of him on the soft, plush leather. Then she took his hand and her emerald eyes met his melancholy grey ones. 'You're rushing into it—'

'I'm not. I've had a few days to think Lily, and I'm ready. Let's do this.'

_xo_

Sirius had decided to go home after Lily's delicious lasagne. She couldn't cook anything but about three meals, including lasagne, but they were damn good. In fact he often went over to the Potters for dinner. Living alone, and having such a busy schedule didn't allow him to indulge in small things like cooking dinner. And in his rather large and spacious flat, no one was ever waiting for him with dinner in the oven and kisses.

She was gone. Eight months gone. And he didn't even miss her anymore. A lie. He missed her like a drowning person missed oxygen.

Sitting on his bed and looking out at the waning gibbous, Sirius thought of everything that had happened that day. Visited from ten days in the future (what was happening over there now he didn't know), an argument with Dumbledore and even a small argument with the Potters, persuading _them_ to use _him_ as secret keeper.

Was this his Father and brother, from beyond the grave? Punishing him for all the good he had done. Because Blacks weren't supposed to be good, they were supposed to be bad. Very, very bad. Well he didn't want to be like Narcissa and Bellatrix. He wanted to be good. He _was_ good. Well he was a little good. His Mother use to say he was grey eyes because he was a mixture of dark and light; too light to be a Slytherin but too dark to be a Gryffindor. And that was true. Because if James and Remus and Peter – scrap Peter – if the other two Marauders hadn't accepted him then maybe no one would have had the guts to do so. They often said he was an antihero. He tried to do good by using bad, and doing bad.

The least he could do for his friends was risk his life trying to save them. And he would do that. Sirius was a brave person; otherwise he wouldn't have been put in Gryffindor, but maybe Ravenclaw for his intelligence.

He wasn't scared of death; he was just scared of losing his most precious ones to death. He wasn't afraid of pain, for his threshold was intolerably high. And he liked games, most obviously hide and seek. Which meant the reason for his insomnia was the meeting tomorrow with Dumbledore. He shivered a little.

What if the old man made him change the minds of Lily and James? Then he would be as much a murderer to them as Voldemort. The Headmaster would go on about _'Changing the course of history is a dangerous path indeed!'_ or maybe _'You cannot alter the future! You cannot play God!'_ and in the end, either Sirius would agree ... or run away; something he was very good at when responsibilities became too much to bear.

He ran a hand over his face. It was almost half two now, and if he were to meet Dumbledore at half ten, then he needed to go to sleep now. He had already sent an owl to Moody, telling him why he wouldn't be there for Auror duties in the morning. Knowing Moody, if Sirius hadn't warned him, he'd send the whole Auror department looking for the handsome Black, because he never missed a day. He was late, yes. Sometimes over an hour late, but he had never, ever, _ever_ missed a day.

Sirius put his head down on the pillow, and before he knew it, his alarm went off. He felt like a zombie, wandering around the kitchen and making a sandwich which tasted a lot like cardboard. He changed into some lighter clothes rather than his usual black and grey. He wore a green sweater which Rose had bought him, and a red and gold scarf that represented Gryffindor. He was, after all going back to visit his first real home.

He pocketed his wand and closed the door to his flat. When he got outside, he hurried behind the block of flats and waved his wand, his motorbike flickering into view. Remus had been so kind as to retrieve it and put it back safely, setting all of the necessary spells.

How Sirius had ever suspected Remus as the traitor? It would be something that would haunt him for the rest of his life.

His motorbike roared to life; like a hungry lion. It took over two hours to get to Hogwarts, even when he drove at its fastest speed. He dodged the birds, and shivered when he flew through clouds. But finally, after following the train tracks that led straight to Hogsmeade, he could see the almighty and breathtaking castle. With its turrets and towers and the enormous dark Forbidden Forest, Sirius shivered. It really did feel like he was at home.

Landing rather gently on the ground, he continued to drive through the Hogwarts grounds, past the Whomping Willow that tried to take out his eyes with a rather agile and thin branch, and past the enormous pumpkins that reminded Sirius of the costume he had gotten Harry. Then McGonagall came jogging up to him with a rather annoyed expression on her face. He pressed on the brakes.

'What have I said about riding that wretched bike—?'

He almost grinned. He was _home_. 'Sorry Professor, I must have forgotten.' In truth he had not forgotten, but had instead opted to ignore the angry frenzy McGonagall had gotten in when a year ago, James and him had arrived on his motorbike and crashed into the Herbology greenhouses. Sirius still had the scars to prove it.

'Next time Sirius Black, if I see you with that wretched bike...' and he didn't need to finish the sentence. After a moment of calming herself, McGonagall's expression softened. 'How are you Black?' she asked.

He smiled at her. 'I'm alright Professor; I came at a request from Dumbledore. How's Hogwarts treating you without us Marauders here?'

She laughed, and it made her look considerably younger. 'It's been a terrific few years without you lot, yes. Well, hurry up then, Albus won't wait all day. The password is Cauldron Cakes!'

He grinned at her and got off his motorbike and walked it to the high steps, with a crowd forming outside. You'd think they had never seen a motorbike, but then Sirius remembered that the most of the students probably _hadn't_ seen one!

A motorbike was after all a Muggle contraption. He smugly beamed at the children and winked at a few particularly attractive girls. He laughed, feeling like such a pervert. He was what, six or seven years older?

'It's Sirius Black!' he could hear some of them say. And one to always soak up the attention, he decided to park his bike just a few metres from the steps, to the left where no one would wander into it but would still be able to admire it. He waved his wand to make sure no one but him (and the Marauders of course) could fly and drive it and then sprung up to the steps.

The students parted in the middle to let him through, and he ran a hand through his hair whilst walking. On his little expedition to Dumbledore's office he saw Hagrid, whom he chatted with eagerly. He also saw Filch who, upon recognising Sirius, looked like he had just seen the dead.

'Alright Filch?' he called, and when the man ran screaming, pulling at his hair, Sirius dissolved into laughter, alongside many students who had been lurking nearby.

His footsteps, as he neared the sacred office, grew slower and more reluctant. But when he reached the gargoyle, the enormous and protective gargoyle, he knew that his procrastinating had finally come to an end.

'Cauldron Cakes,' Sirius said sadly. The gargoyle was lazy, but after maybe a minute, huffed and moved aside. Sirius stood on the first step and waited patiently as the staircase rose closer to the oak door. When he was less than an inch from it, he reluctantly knocked.

'Come in Sirius,' he old voice called out. Sirius opened the door to the office, taken aback by its beauty. The last time he had been here was in his seventh year. Dumbledore had invited a few students, including all the Marauders, Lily, two Hufflepuffs and one Ravenclaw to join the Order of the Phoenix.

He looked around the office. It hadn't changed a bit. The portraits were in the same format, hung on the walls. The instruments on tables scattered around the office were the same, and there were the same books sitting on shelves. Even Fawkes's pedestal was in the same place.

Sirius took a deep breath and met the Headmaster's piercing blue eyes. 'Good evening,' he said in a somewhat polite tone. He was greeted with a smile.

'Good evening Sirius. Sit, sit, please ... tea, coffee?'

Sirius sat down, and nodded. 'Coffee, black, one sugar.' He said curtly, curter then he intended. He watched as Dumbledore made his coffee and then handed it to him. Sirius drained it. He was suddenly ravenous. His coffee was refilled magically.

'I trust you got here safely?'

'Safely yes. But McGonagall wasn't very happy.'

Dumbledore nodded with a playful sad look on his face. 'Yes, yes,' he said gravely. 'She has always hated Muggle contraptions, especially transport. I think it's because she once saw a cat being run over by a bus.'

Sirius snorted. He didn't mind cats, but they were dead annoying when in his Animagus form. And it was no secret that McGonagall was a cat when in her form. She showed it to every class. It must have been seeing her transform that led to the idea to become Animagus for Remus.

'That explains a lot,' he said, setting down his coffee. 'Well as lovely as this chitchat is Professor, I've got to go to James's later and talk about the Fidelius Charm. So if we could hurry up to where this conversation is going...'

Dumbledore sighed and leant back in his chair. He surveyed Sirius. His blue eyes scrutinised the sweater, the elegant and yet messy hair, the bags under his eyes, and the sadness hidden inside. He scrutinised the very handsome face, the very sad face.

'Yes.' The Headmaster said. He waved his wand and dark velvet curtains started covering a significant amount of portraits, but left a few. 'The ones that gossip and the ones I trust...' Dumbledore informed him.

'Aah,' Sirius said softly. His great grandfather's portrait was covered and he laughed. 'Phineas, good choice.' And he almost didn't feel annoyed at Dumbledore. _Almost._

'Sirius, I need you to understand the amount of trouble you could get for meddling in the future or—'

'Wait, you think _I _used the time turner?' In answer, Headmaster Dumbledore nodded. Sirius fervently shook his head. 'It wasn't me Professor, I promise. Well it was me, but a future me.'

The aged man tilted his head. 'What did future-Sirius want?'

Sirius bit his lip, not knowing what to say. But of course, Dumbledore could see through lies like Sirius could look past someone's family.

'I don't want to tell you.' He replied after some time. And the Headmaster was taken back by the truthfulness of Sirius's confession.

'Why don't you want to tell me?' He said very quietly.

Sirius opened his mouth and then closed it. How many times had he been called impulsive, reckless, rash, wild and all those other adjectives that seemed too poor at times to describe who he really was? He needed to think about what to say without giving Dumbledore insight on what his future self had said and done?

It would change the future, but for the Greater Good. 'Remember Professor, yesterday, I asked you what you would do if your friend's life was threatened. Would you try and make sure they survived?'

Dumbledore nodded after a sombre silence, and the younger man to continue.

'If some of the most important people were in danger and there was something you could do. Be it friends _or_ family. But to me, my friends _are_ my family. And by telling you I'm jeopardising them.'

The Headmaster sat still for a moment, with his eyes half closed as he pondered. Sirius had a feeling that the old man was trying to think of something to say that would both persuade and comfort him.

Finally the ancient mouth opened, and that soothing voice came out. 'A Time Turner is a very complex instrument.' He said. He paused, clasping his hands together and looking down at them. 'Even ... even by going back in time one day and saying hello to a stranger could you potentially change the course of history. Whether I allow you to do what you have been told to do, or whether I don't, _time has changed_. I cannot prevent your choices. Perhaps if I stop you from changing time, the same instrument that your future self used would appear in your flat, and you would go back in time, stopping me from dissuading you.'

Sirius felt a spark of hope rouse inside him. Surely Professor Dumbledore wasn't going to let him off? Surely he was imagining things?

'And I can't take away your free will. Had I been able too, the Death Eaters who had passed through Hogwarts during my reign wouldn't be Death Eaters. I'm not one to dictate the future. I am only one man, who, when is given power, becomes frenzied with it.'

'Professor?'

'Sirius, do you know much about my past? Before I became a teacher in Hogwarts?'

The handsome young man thought for a moment, and with a jolt, realised he knew virtually nothing about Dumbledore's life. Not what he did before the magical boarding school, not even if he had any siblings apart from Aberforth. And yet since Sirius was four, he had been taught all of the prestigious and rich families.

He shook his head. 'No I don't, surprisingly, given my Mother's insistence that I learn all about the honourable families.'

'Why do you assume I'm from an honourable background?'

Sirius scoffed, almost thinking the old man was joking. 'You're Dumbledore.'

'I was not like you Sirius. I was raised in a mediocre family, with average money, and average talent. I worked hard, I became very clever. I tried hard and soon, I passed Hogwarts with flying colours, much like you. I became friends with a ... bad influence. I was soon intoxicated with the idea of power, and after losing myself in one terrible situation I- ... I never trusted myself with supremacy again. And so I opted to teach, I was maybe in my thirties when I got the Transfiguration position. I liked the idea of teaching you see.'

Sirius was shocked, disbelieving too, but incredibly shocked. If ever someone told him that Dumbledore could become a psychotic dictator he wouldn't believe them. But people always said the great were destined for power.

'That's why you've turned down the position for Minister twice.' He said, with resounding realisation. 'But—'

'I'm not like you Sirius. I never grew up surrounded by power. Your family are one of the seven originals from London, the greatest magical capital of Europe. Your family are also one of the wealthiest, and hold such prestige. You don't find power interesting. Which is why you would be suited well for it.'

Sirius almost laughed. 'Me? Yeah right Professor. Remus says on the best of days, my maturity matches that of a nine year old. On the _best_ days.'

'Oh but you would! Money doesn't interest you, nor does a good family name or an impeccable reputation.'

'How does this have anything to do with the Time Turner?' Sirius huffed in answer.

'I have never used a Time Turner, though I have been in the presence one too many times. I have never used one because I don't want to tempt myself, tempt myself to turn back time and wrong all my rights. But you Sirius, you are unique and very special. You wouldn't stop your past self from telling Mr Snape how to get into the Whomping Willow. You wouldn't even use it to save Regulus. The only thing you would use it for is to save the future!'

He was right, it was all true. He wouldn't right anything in his life that had gone brutally wrong. Only the things that would save time ahead.

The future Sirius wouldn't have gone back in time if he didn't think that a dead Lily and James would be bad for the Wizarding World. He nodded almost subconsciously.

'Now, I would appreciate if you told me what you were ordered to do please,' said the Headmaster after a pause.

His voice had a croaky quality but after a few moments, it sunk into its natural husky tone. 'I was getting off my bike, somewhere near Diagon Alley. And he was sitting in the shadows. He looked horrible, like he hadn't slept in a while. He had horrible bags, and he almost cried several times. He was so sad Professor, so very sad. It made me sad.

'I knew it was me, I just knew. But I asked him questions that no one could possibly know the answer too. Professor, he was terrified. He told me about the future, what was to come if I persuaded James and Lily to use Peter as a secret keeper instead of me—'

'Aah,' said Dumbledore. It was in such an understanding tone that Sirius didn't feel as guilty anymore. 'Brilliant plan, absolutely brilliant. No one ever thinks of Peter. No one would think James and Lily would use him rather than you.'

'But that's the problem Professor. You've been suspecting a traitor amongst us for quite some time now, and all of our names have flickered through your brilliant mind. _Except Peter!_ He's the traitor Professor; he's the spy for the Dark Lord's side!'

Dumbledore leant back with a startled and disbelieving expression, gently shaking his head. He looked Sirius in the eyes. 'Impossible, Peter—' he whispered, but was interrupted urgently by Sirius's frustrated and angry voice.

'I'm pretty sure I haven't seen him wear short sleeved tops or anything that would show his forearms for over a year now. In the last two months I've seen him a dozen times and generally just in passing. He isn't the Peter I knew, he's become something else. And it's because of this different Peter that two of my best friends are going to die.'

It was a lot of information for Dumbledore to take in, who now buried his face in his hands, a gentle and incoherent muttering escaping his mouth. After what seemed an hour, but in reality only a few minutes, he looked up with such sadness in his eyes.

'Thank you for your patience Sirius, please continue.'

Sirius opened and closed his mouth several times, but after finding the right words to say he spoke with a grave voice. 'My future self informed me that Peter told Voldemort barely a week after the Fidelius Charm was cast; on Halloween. He begged me to change the future, he begged so hard. And he told me not to tell anyone because he wanted to be the one to get Peter, not the Order.'

'And it is because your brash and future self has asked you not to tell any of us immediately that has worried me. You know yourself Sirius; you know what you might do. Perhaps you might kill him, or maybe torture him. I am worried—'

'I know he's my friend. But are you telling me he deserves respect and that he doesn't deserve everything I'm going to give him?'

'Sirius, I am saying he deserves the benefit of the doubt.'

The young handsome man sunk back in his chair. 'It's all my fault Professor. He told me that he was the one who begged James to change the secret keeper to Peter. I had been pondering for a few days on the idea myself and if I wasn't warned then today I would've ...' he made a disgusted grunt in the back of his throat. The thought. The horrible thought of what might have happened had he not been forewarned. Could it really be that the fates of his best friends were his responsibility?

'I'm not going to agree Professor with anything you have to say! I'm doing what I was told; I'm doing what's _right!_' He suddenly cried indignantly. Sirius couldn't stand the idea of his friend turned spy roaming around with a carefree grin on his face. 'I'm not going to ... to _do_ anything to him. I just don't want him running around free.'

'We'll get justice Sirius. But I need something from you first—'

'I haven't got it.' He said shortly.

Dumbledore raised an eyebrow, confused and shocked at the curt tone he was greeted with. 'You don't even know what I was going to ask.'

'You were going to ask whether I had the Time Turner. But I don't have it. And even if I did Professor I would not give it to _you.'_

'Why wouldn't you give it to me?' the patient voice asked.

Sirius sighed exasperatedly. 'You know why Professor. I don't trust you. I don't trust what you could do with it.'

Then the old headmaster started laughing heartedly. 'Oh Sirius, and it is precisely for that reason that you should be the carer of the Time Turner. But no, I was going to ask you to _not tell anyone of this!_ Not James, not Lily, not even Remus.' Sirius frowned and Dumbledore nodded sternly. 'Yes, I said Remus. If anyone were to know then word would get to Voldemort and the Potters would be _destroyed_.'

Sirius almost cried in distress. 'No, I won't tell a soul Professor, I promise.' He vehemently shook his head. 'I would do anything to protect them.'

'I know Sirius, I know.'

There was an almost comfortable silence now, as Sirius visualised in horror what could happen if he ever told anyone.

'You can't however, jump into the decision to be the secret keeper just because of what you've been told—'

'But I _haven't _jumped into the decision Professor. I was going to be their secret keeper before I volunteered Peter. This isn't only a way of redemption; this is me doing what I was supposed to do. This is me protecting my friends, the most important people in the world to me. You were right, if I didn't honestly think a world with James and Lily would be better than one without them, then I might have accepted fate. But I just _know_ that we need them. We can't win this war without them.'

'I agree Sirius, I agree my dear friend.'

'You know ... I was shocked when I heard that Harry survived. How could Voldemort kill James and Lily but not Harry? My future self didn't really explain.'

Dumbledore's expression changed to that of a person who was shocked. He looked both pleasantly surprised and also very angry.

'You don't know? He didn't tell you?' the voice hissed urgently.

Sirius was a little baffled, but quickly shook his head. 'No, he didn't say. He had a lot on his mind.'

'Are you sure? He didn't say why he survived? Or what happened?'

'All I know Professor, is that on Halloween he killed James who was unarmed and trying to buy Lily some time. Voldemort followed Lily up the stairs after she had fled with Harry. He killed her after.'

'How do you know James was unarmed?'

'The future-me saw his wand was on the sofa, abandoned.' Sirius whispered sombrely.

Dumbledore sighed. He clasped his hands and looked at Sirius. 'I'm very proud of you Sirius. I'm very proud indeed. When one has the chance to redo everything wrong in their lives, you chose to do what was right. You chose to save your friends, the _future,_ rather than your own life. And now you have come to right what was wronged. Risking your life whole heartedly. I'm proud to have known you.'

Sirius almost blushed at the sincere tone of his Headmaster's voice. 'Thank you Professor. But you say it as though I'm going to die.'

'You're ... you're a grown man Sirius, I'm not going to lie to you. It's incredibly serious, and incredibly dangerous. Becoming their secret keeper will be like signing your death warrant.'

'But someone has to do it.'

'Indeed.'

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><p><em>AN: This chapter was hopefully alright at showing Dumbledore's personality, I don't think he was the extremely nice type, but more the comforting type? If that makes sense ... And yes, this is the first chapter fully in the past-Sirius's perspective, as the rest of the story will be in._

_I really do hope you enjoyed this chapter, and pleaseee leave a review if you haven't already, pretty please? :') _

_Have a good day! _

_-xo_


	5. A Dangerous Decision

_Disclaimer; Imagine how amazing it would be to own the whole Harry Potter Universe? :o_

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><p><em>xoxo<em>

_5. A Dangerous Decision_

Sirius couldn't stop pondering at the words spoken by Dumbledore. _Becoming their secret keeper will be like signing your death warrant._ Would it really be as such? Would he be throwing his whole life away by saving the lives of his friends? If so, life was a horrible thing indeed. He was essentially choosing between himself and his friends. And he couldn't help but feel sad about the choice. But he would always choose them, _always._

Yet the very thought of being killed scared him. Not because he was afraid of death. Not at all, he had already said – death didn't scare him. But rather, because he would never fall in love with the girl of his dreams (well that had already happened, but she wasn't exactly the girl of his dreams) and have fifty kids and live in an enormous house, and grow old together. He would never get to see the pyramids of Egypt and bathe in the River Ganges.

And now, though he had always considered these things when making the choice to become an Auror, or a member of the Order of the Phoenix, he had never thought so entirely hard about it.

Sirius's footsteps from Dumbledore's office were gentle. He looked around as he saw students scurrying around from lesson to lesson, with eager expressions on their faces. He frowned once more. He could remember the days when he was a student in the great school of Hogwarts. The nicknames he'd been dubbed were, more often than not, about his Africa-sized libido or the amount of girls he'd slept with.

In the distance he could see a group of boys, play fighting. There was only a few of them, five to be precise. But he felt a longing, and he felt nostalgic. The boys off in the distance reminded him of the Marauders. He smiled wistfully, watching as the tallest lifted the shorter one and threw him on the ground, collapsing in laughter.

Sirius felt a stab in his heart. _Peter. Oh Peter. How could you?_

If there was ever a time where he felt so betrayed, it was now. He felt more betrayed then he had when Regulus became a Death Eater, because that had been building for quite sometime. But Peter's change to darkness, his defiance and betrayal cut Sirius deep. For over a year now, the little fat spy had been lurking and collecting information, only to pass it on to Lord Voldemort.

Now he came to think of it, Peter was the reason for many plans that had gone wrong. For example, a few months ago their plan to raid the Lestrange manor had stubbornly failed. And knowledge had told them many Death Eaters were staying there. Another plan to go and talk to the giants, offer them a partnership of some sorts had failed. But less than a month after that plan was discussed, over thirty percent of the French giants had been contacted by Voldemort.

How had he not noticed this sooner? So much could have been avoided. But at least the most important thing had been avoided, and suddenly Sirius felt ashamed for thinking about whether or not he should be the Potters secret keeper. They would do this for him without a doubt. Any of them would. Remus, James ... And he was honoured to have friends like them.

He looked around the almost empty halls, and almost bumped into Professor Flitwick.

'Sirius!' said Flitwick.

Sirius smiled at him. He was almost pleasantly surprised to see Flitwick was still here. He was the Professor most students indulged in winding up, for Flitwick was very lenient and fun.

'Hello Professor,' he said politely, taking his hands out of his pockets.

'What are you doing here?' the small man asked.

'I had business with Dumbledore to discuss. I'm just on my way to the Auror office now, hopefully Moody won't murder me for bunking,' he said, rolling his eyes.

Flitwick laughed a high laugh. 'Yes, Moody can be like that. Very passionate man. A little scary at the best of times.' Sirius grinned at his old Professor's analysis. 'You know,' continued Flitwick, 'I always knew you were going to leave Hogwarts with a bright future ahead. You have a clear path ahead. I always knew.'

Sirius ducked his head modestly (a trait he didn't often show) and smiled. 'Thank you Professor, but I'm not exactly the greatest—'

'Not from what I've heard. Moody says you're incredible, but I always knew that. Just silly at times—'

Sirius started laughing. 'Yes Professor, I remember. Those pranks of ours you loved but pretended to hate.'

Flitwick grinned at him and winked. 'Well you mustn't tell a soul Sirius, otherwise students will start running and raving...'

'Of course,' he bid Professor Flitwick goodbye and swiftly ambled his way through the school, sinking into the familiar and yet unused mind track of his old Hogwarts days. He hurried to the kitchens, tickling the green pear which screeched in delight. The door swung open and Sirius was ushered inside by dozens of small, short elves. A few recognised him, in fact, about half of them did.

'Master Black—'

'Hello Master Black! It has been so long...'

'Mr Black!'

The small elves were all screeching. He grinned heartedly at them. 'Hullo,' he said kindly, beaming at them with his heart warming smile. Sirius sat down on the Hufflepuff table; the closest. He pondered vehemently, trying to think of any solutions to what was going to happen.

Dumbledore was of course going to expose Peter and Sirius felt a great pain in his heart. A pain that was sharp and hot and searing and he bit his tongue to stop the tears from falling down his face. In a way, in a very small and insignificant way he didn't want Peter to go. Because if Peter went then it would mean everything was true. His betrayal, his lies, his selfishness. All of it would be true...

He didn't want it to be true, because it would destroy the Marauders. Sure, they could go on with the smart Remus, and the outgoing James and the wild Sirius. But where was the shy Peter? Where was the reluctant Peter, the keen-to-impress Peter?

It wouldn't be the same. It would hurt for a while, after they saved James and defeated the Death Eaters, it would just be them left. Bruised, bloody and battered with nothing but the past to look back on. And in the past would be Peter of course.

The house elves brought him a goblet of wine, and a plate of very warm potatoes and pieces of turkey coated in gravy. Boy, had he missed Hogwarts food. Lily made delightful meals (she could only make three or four) but usually Sirius relied on takeaways and hastily cooked meals to satisfy his stomach, or as the other's called it, _his endless pit_. He laughed as he ate, licking his fingers, burping and praising the house elves who started bowing and thanking him.

When it was time to get up and leave (Moody would be quite angry now) he reluctantly got to his feet and strolled towards the portrait, where he wrenched it open. A few metres to his right were a couple, snogging very enthusiastically. In fact Sirius could see the boy barely fifteen or so, fondling the girl's bum. He whistled and when they looked up, charmingly smirked.

'There's a nice roomy hole behind the tapestry of Bernard. And if the bed I put there five years ago still remains, I'm sure you can have as much fun as you want without permanently scarring me.' He winked at them and tucked his hands in his pockets, strolling in the opposite direction.

He crossed paths with Madam Pomfrey who was very kind, and asked how everything (she probably meant Remus) was faring and if they were all doing well (Remus) and how whenever they needed help, they knew where her office was (Remus).

All in all it was clearly evident she still worried about her old patient, who she had become very close to in his seven years of Hogwarts, and therefore seven years worth of full moons. He also saw his old Muggle Art teacher, who stopped to chat with him for a very long time. It was a pleasant conversation, where the kind and young woman asked if he was still painting, in which he confessed he was too busy to do so, being the head of his Auror class.

'You know, the best way to clear one's mind is to paint.' Caroline said wisely. He had always called her by her first name, since their third year. She was one of those Professors who adored her students to be able to relate and talk comfortably with her. More than once, Sirius had seen Rose Taten sneaking out after hours to visit the Professor, who was a great friend and a worthy adviser. And the woman was Muggleborn, she wasn't prejudiced or cold like other Professors could be. She was young too. She was also pretty...

'When I have time, I'll do it.' He said, smiling warmly at her. The promise of course was a lie; he wouldn't have the time, unless of course Voldemort supplied him with a canvas and some oil paints, which he highly doubted. She lifted her hand and gently cradled his chin, and perhaps if McGonagall had done so he would have felt incredibly confused and awkward. But with Caroline, it was as natural as breathing. He grinned.

'You have such talent. In wielding your wand, in making others smile. But you hold such beauty in drawing and painting. Please don't give up,' she said quietly. 'For me, don't give up.'

'I won't Caroline.' He said smiling.

All in all, the day was somewhat pleasant. If not pleasant, than at least satisfactory. He felt relieved. He was relieved after Dumbledore's little chat with him, happy that he was going to save Lily and James. Most importantly though, he was terribly alleviated and at ease. They were not going to die; he would not be their downfall.

Sirius sagged as he exited the Entrance Hall. Many students were crowded around his bike, touching it but not able to get on because of some complicated charm. As most caught sight of him they hurried away in fright, but he smiled his easy going and charming smile at them.

'It's alright ... I won't bite,' he said, nibbling his lip to stop from laughing at their blank expressions and questioning glances. He approached his bike and whispered a few words with his wand pointing straight at it, and a ring of gold expanded before evaporating.

Sirius got on. Many of the students eagerly grinned and stepped a little closer, realising he was a nice Black and wasn't going to rip their heads off. 'Know what this is,' he said softly to a particularly adorable girl who was maybe fifteen.

'A bike?'

'It's a motorbike. I'd give you a ride but McGonagall's probably gonna have my head so...' he grinned ravishingly at her. But when he saw her disappointed smile, and her sad blue eyes he sighed, laughing. 'Alright, get on,' and the little girl's friends started squealing.

Sirius helped her on, and then got on in front. 'Go on, wrap your arms around me, otherwise you'll fall,' he told her. She seemed very shy and when she cuddled next to him Sirius got a flashback of Rose and him cuddling on his bike. The fifteen year old witch was very small like Rose too. Sirius kicked the side stand and held down on the clutch, and then he shifted the bike into neutral and switched on the engine. The bike roared and all the students started chirping and squealing in excitement.

Pressing a large silver button the bike soared off into the sky, and the girl squeaked, wrapping her arms tighter around him. 'This is fun, isn't it?' joked Sirius from over his shoulder.

She buried her face in his shoulder and closed his eyes. After showing off for a bit, he touched down in front of Hagrid's shed. The girl looked up when she realised they weren't moving and then started smiling. 'That was fun,' she said.

Sirius laughed, looking at her. If only she was a few years older, he wouldn't mind bedding her. 'You had your eyes shut half the time,' he said nudging her.

'Yeah well ... I was scared. But I'm not now ... you're Sirius Black aren't you?'

He nodded. 'And your name is...?'

'Daisy. I can't wait to tell my sister I rode on _the_ motorbike with her old boyfriend.' Daisy commented, twirling the ends of her hair.

Suddenly Sirius recognised the pretty eyes and the dark hair. Oh she couldn't be? She really couldn't be...

'Rebecca Carmichael?' he asked. And when Daisy nodded he groaned. 'Great, well tell her when she comes looking for me, I probably won't be there.' He ran a hand through his hair and looked at the girl again. She was really quite pretty. 'Nice riding with you Daisy, you're really cute by the way,' he said, arrogantly flicking hair out of his eyes.

When Daisy's face took on the look of someone who had died and seen heaven, he seductively smiled and leant forward, his lips brushing against her cheek and then he jumped back on his bike. It barked as it flew into the air, and he watched as many girls ran up to Daisy, surrounding her and probably interrogating her too. Sirius bit his lip anxiously. He prayed Rebecca didn't come and look for him. She was a crazy bitch.

_xo_

Sirius sighed. He wasn't a baby. He didn't need to be shouted at by Moody, though thankfully Moody really liked him, and shouted at Sirius in the privacy of his own cramped shoe box office cluttered with pictures of the Marauders, some where they were at Quidditch matches and others where they were drunk, or at birthday parties.

Sirius had to restrain from laughing, especially when Moody's voice increased in pitch.

'— SICK AND TIRED OF DUMBLEDORE SNATCHING MY AURORS AWAY! AND THEN YOU GO AND HAVE A NICE LITTLE FEAST IN THE KITCHENS, AND START FLIRTING WITH STUDENTS—'

Sirius sighed again, this time exasperated. Very exasperated. 'I was not _flirting_ with students, why do you assume that wherever there are girls, I'm _flirting_. I just took one of them for a ride on my bike, but I wouldn't have done anything. She was about fifteen and her older sister is an ex of mine, who by the way loved to indulge herself in ... sexual activities. Like literally, all hours of the day.'

Sirius, who had been standing with his back against the closed door, fell down in his chair and put his feet up on the desk, with a small smirk on his face when Moody growled angrily. The old Auror pushed his feet off the desk and put his forehead onto Sirius's roughly. Sirius grinned at him and puckered his lips before winking.

'Wanna kiss this,' he whispered seductively, grinning when Moody scowled so deeply it looked like it had been carved with a knife.

'They use to have a word for people like you. I forgot what it was ... oh yeah, now I remember, _MAN-WHORE_.' And when Sirius laughed, Moody growled again, in a deep and ominous voice. 'One more day absent Black and I'll bench you—'

Sirius feigned a sigh. 'Such a shame then that I'll be missing quite a long time off hiding from Voldemort. I'm becoming the Potters secret keeper you see.'

Moody quickly withdrew from Sirius as though he was burned. He looked at Sirius up and down.

'You're joking Black...'

'Afraid not Mood-ster, you've heard from Dumbledore I assume about the whole ordeal with Voldemort hunting the Longbottoms and my friends?'

The Auror nodded slowly, sitting down on the opposite side of the desk from his young protégée.

'Yes, yes, I heard about Voldemort's sudden interest in them, and I know Dumbledore was thinking of the Fidelius Charm for both families, but that doesn't mean you should do it. You're the most obviously choice Sirius Black! He'd find you mere hours after the charm's placed!'

He shrugged. 'I know Moody, I know. But someone has to do it. And I'd make a good secret keeper. I'd never let him get them. You know that, I do, Dumbledore does. I'd rather die before I give them up.'

Moody barked a laugh. 'You're ... you're stubborn as hell and just as annoying. You'll get yourself killed. Tortured first, and when you don't give in, you'll be killed.'

'Now, now Moody, don't be such a pessimist. On the bright side, _if _I come back I'll have shit loads of info to tell you, and then _you'll_ be kissing _my_ arse.'

A small smile crept onto Moody's face. 'You're excited for this aren't you?'

Sirius nodded guiltily. 'It's like I'm getting high, you know? Ever taken Muggle drugs?'

'What the hell would I be doing taking Muggle drugs?'

Sirius grinned at Moody who barked another laugh. 'Well me and James do it sometimes ... occasionally, and they're fucking glorious you know, better than anything wizards have. I feel like that, like I'm getting high. I'm ready for this.'

Moody shook his head after laughing for a full minute. He got up and put a hand onto Sirius's shoulder. 'You've been a good Auror you know, one of the best I've seen. I just think it's such a waste. You're going to die you know, you will and I'd hate to see that happen. I've never been so proud of someone.' Sirius was shocked; he had never seen his old friend looking so sombre.

'I will come back Moody, I promise.'

But there was a sceptical flicker in the older man's eyes. And there was a similar one in Sirius's too. 'Well, if there was a wizard who could come back from the clutches of Voldemort, it would be you.'

And half heartedly they chuckled together. 'I'm not going to make it easy for them to catch me Moody... I'm thinking of a wild goose chase?'

Moody sunk back down in the chair. 'I'm worried as hell for you, make it a little easier for me at least Black! I'll be getting a heart attack.'

'If it makes you feel better, I'll give you a big kiss before I go off tomorrow to perform the spell?'

Moody's face split into one of laughter and exasperation.

'Yes I was right, stubborn as hell and just as annoying.'

'Oh shut up, you know you love me.'

Moody grunted in frustration.

_xo_

In the end, he was given the day off by Moody, who pleaded for him to stay safe and learn when to shut up, which hurt Sirius just a little. He wasn't that stupid, he wasn't going to start fights and brawls if he did end up getting caught. He would try and stay quiet for James's sake, because if _(when) _his body ever got back to them, he wouldn't want the scars and the bruises to be evident. He wouldn't want to aggravate the wrath of the Marauders even more.

Tomorrow morning was the Order of the Phoenix meeting, in which Dumbledore would out Peter and his betrayal, where he would then proceed to throw him in Azkaban. Of course, Sirius would rough him up a little first. Sirius was thinking the Cruciatus Curse? Maybe even the Imperius Curse? A few Stunning Spells and one heck of a Blood Thickening Jinx – a jinx that would make it hard for Peter to breathe, make him feel like he was drowning.

Then they would say their goodbyes to Remus and all their other friends, head back to the new house James was going to buy – somewhere no one would think to look – and cast the spell.

Right now though, he was heading to the Potters to see them, and his dear and innocent friend Remus. It felt like he hadn't seen Moony in months, when in truth he spent the full moon with his friend not so long ago. Tapping the door to the Potter Manor open (a spell only close friends and family knew) Sirius entered and called out for James.

As soon as he was through the door Lily threw herself at him. He was startled, but slowly put his arms around her waist and hugged her back too.

'Thank you Sirius, thank you so much.' She almost cried, kissing his cheek again and again.

An hour after his entrance and he was lounging on the floor with Harry's tiny feet balancing on his chest and his smaller hands in Sirius's larger ones to keep the boy steady. Sirius chuckled when Harry squealed in delight. Every moment he spent with his godson only persuaded him to become the secret keeper even more.

He looked expectantly towards the door when he heard the front door open and close. Remus must have finally come. His friend entered a minute later, with an enormous grin, and a briefcase.

'Moony!' He said, sitting up and setting Harry carefully on the floor. He jumped up and embraced his friend, more than a million silent apologies merged in that short hug. 'Moony have you heard ... Moony, what's happened?'

Remus couldn't even contain himself. His smile was bright and big, and his whole face looked so much younger than it normally did, it looked so much more handsome. 'Dumbledore owled me, asking if we could meet in the Ministry today, just a few hours ago. They've opened up many new departments, and they've been looking for many people to work in them and run them. Padfoot, you're looking at _the Head of Investigations and Tracking!_'

Sirius cried out. 'No?'

'Yes!'

And then they did the customary dance of the Marauders, involving feet and arms and crazy hair. Sirius felt ecstatic for his friend. Everything was going good now, everything was going great. The only problem was Peter.

'Have you seen Peter? Only I want to tell him the good news, he had signed up for one of these departments but I didn't see him down at the Ministry. In fact, I haven't seen him for a few weeks...'

Peter had missed the most recent full moon, the first time any of them had willingly missed it. And the fury James and Sirius had both felt...

Sirius almost kicked himself. He should have linked this all up. The absences, the reluctance to join the Order, the long sleeves... It infuriated him that Peter had been dancing around with the Dark Mark burned into his skin for so long.

'Sirius? Are you alright?'

He looked up at Remus's concerned face and smiled. 'Oh, I'm fine Moony. Just a stomach ache. I think it's because of all the takeaways I'm getting.'

They grinned together just as James entered with wet hair and a red face bearing a warm and fond smile.

'Hey guys,' he said, rubbing his hair with a towel. 'Lily didn't tell me you were here Sirius, otherwise I would have ran out of the lovely bubble bath I was in and—'

'Stop kidding yourself, you wouldn't have cared,' Sirius said with an enormous smile. He bent down and picked his godson up who was getting too close to the roaring fire. He tucked Harry into his side, who didn't mind being picked up and instead satisfied himself by playing with Sirius's black wavy tresses.

They all sat down in front of the fire on the floor, and James summoned a bottle of firewhiskey, and three glasses. Remus filled Prongs in on the story of his job, who answered in doing the wild jig where he almost took his son's eye out.

'I'm sorry Harry,' he said, kissing the forming bruise where he had hit his son. 'I'm sorry baby. Oi Pads, stop laughing, this isn't funny.'

But even James answered Sirius's carefree laugh with his own grin. 'If Lily asks, he hit his head... I'm really proud of you Remus, I told you to keep optimistic. What did I say? Someone'll be smart enough to give you a job.'

'Bodewell was really quite reluctant to give a werewolf a job, but Dumbledore persuaded him. Told the Minister there had never been an incident with me, and that he was willing to put his life on the line if I did anything wrong.'

'He's a good man.' James said, nodding. 'Now for my good news. You know how Dumbledore suggested I get a new house, well I've found one. Somewhere they'd never think to look.'

'Where?' Sirius and Remus said simultaneously.

'Godric's Hollow! Mind you it was expensive! It took a great big chunk out of my now almost nonexistent inheritance!' James had a triumphant smile on his face. Godric's Hollow was after all one of the only Wizarding _and_ Muggle establishments in England, with as many witches and wizards as there were Muggles. And they all lived in harmony. Sirius smiled softly when he remembered the time he asked his Mother why they didn't live in Godric's Hollow.

'_It's too common, too many Mudbloods and half-bloods. And don't get me all worked up about the filthy Muggles living there.' Her face had taken on the look of someone who smelt something wholly unpleasant._

'_I'd like to live there; at least people would talk to me, and know who I am. We're invisible here Mother!'_

_She frowned. 'We have to be invisible; this house has been in our family for centuries. We're not going to have Muggles and Mudbloods knowing we live here. Now shut up and finish your dinner.'_

Sirius chewed on his lip. In some ways he missed his family. In some very odd ways he missed his brother, and the security he felt, and the sense of belonging. Of course this was all when he was younger, before he became a Gryffindor. But he still missed Regulus with every fibre in his body.

'Sirius?' asked James. The problem with Prongsie, was the young Black couldn't think too much or too hard about sad things because James knew straight away; he could read Sirius's mind. And it was both useful and annoying. But then again, he could do it back.

'I was just thinking about Regulus,' he said softly, flickering back to his earliest memory of his brother. Regulus had been three? And he had fallen over, scraping his knees and crying out loud. Sirius had bent down to help his brother up so he could get Reg to Haughty and Kreacher.

The two other Marauders were left in an awkward and slightly uncomfortable silence.

'I'm going to avenge him you know. I'm going to kill Malfoy whether it's the last thing I do.' Sirius's voice quietly declared. 'Only I'm going to look him in the eyes when I do it. And I'll make sure Narcissa's there, and maybe even Bellatrix. I'm going to kill him though, I promise.'

And that day there were three things Sirius was sure of doing.

He was going to be the Potters secret keeper, and he vowed to keep their secret until he was free or dead. That much he was sure of.

Next was pretty obvious, he was never ever going to tell of the Time Turner, and the future Sirius and a world where Peter had betrayed James and Lily. He would die with that secret, because it was a secret that would bring hurt rather than happiness.

But now he had a new motive, one that he would hopefully complete before his demise. Because sitting here with his remaining best friends and his godson, the closest he would ever get to having a real son: he wanted to avenge his brother. The Marauders were examples of how important family and friends were; the total antithesis of what Voldemort believed.

And he had never been a good brother to Regulus, especially when they started Hogwarts. Sure he gave his brother money, and half-hearted advice but he never was emotionally as close to his brother as he used to be before Hogwarts.

So he was going to kill Lucius Malfoy; the murderer of his brother, one of the most heartless and cold Death Eaters roaming the earth. Perhaps he would kill Malfoy after he was captured, or maybe before. He knew he had more of a chance doing it before his capture but it wasn't realistic. Right now he was going to spend his last day or two with his friends and his godson.

Lily entered the room. 'Dinner's ready, but mind you, James made the cake.' And Sirius laughed at the thought Lily forcing James to cook. Little did anyone know, James was a sensational cook. He'd inherited it from his mother Dorea Black Potter – Aunty Dory. No one ever gave him a chance; for his marauding and reckless nature caused much doubt amongst people.

Ah well, Prongs was too lazy to cook more than once a year anyway. Too bad, he made the best roast. Better than Lily's!

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><p><em>AN: I hope this chapter was nice, I tried to include more James in it, but this story will start off mainly in Sirius's perspective. But James gets more dominant in the future, as well other characters like Voldemort and Remus etc. _

_Hopefully this chapter has cleared up some questions, as well as springing some more up. The whole Regulus situation in this fanfic is enormously AU. As I've mentioned to some people that Regulus in this story, has been "murdered" by Lucius Malfoy, which is not true. But everyone thinks it's true, especially Sirius. Just like in the previous chapters, when Sirius was describing his brother's body, it wasn't quite what Regulus looked like. _

_This is because in my fanfic, Voldemort has used Regulus's disappearance as a way of showing everyone how brave and powerful he is, killing the heir to the great Black Fortune. He's made everyone think that Regulus's death was ordered by him. This was sort of inspired by one of the scenes in OotP, when Sirius is talking about his brother to Harry, and he comments on how Regulus was ordered to die, but probably by someone other than Voldemort because Reg's not important enough. _

_More about Regulus will be revealed throughout the course of the story, so bare with me. I'm so grateful for all the alerts and favourites and reviews, so carry on going!_

_Take care guys, have a nice day!_

_-xo_


	6. One's Hasty Rescue

_Disclaimer; Not mine, only the OCs (so far there has only been one character called Rose Taten who hasn't appeared yet) and I also own the plot._

_Enjoy :)_

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><p><em>xoxo<em>

_6. One's Hasty Rescue_

He spread out across the sofa, patting his flat and muscular bare stomach where his sweater rode up to reveal a few inches of slightly tanned skin. Sirius faced them, grinning. He was exhausted now, but it was only nine and Moony and Prongs were talking about Order missions besides him.

'You're lucky. Of course, _I_ won't have any missions.' James said sadly, dropping his head. 'I wish we wouldn't have to go in hiding. I wish—'

'That Voldemort was dead, maybe?' said Lily, who handed over her son to Remus so she could write a letter to Petunia, her only sister. There was even a Muggle stamp on the front, and Sirius chuckled. Of course Petunia hated anything to do with wizardry, and whilst Lily had tons to worry about she still remembered to abide by her sister's wishes. Lily was spectacular in more ways then one.

'Voldemort won't die, and no one would be able to kill him. It's fact.' Remus said who was holding Harry up on his shoulders, with the small boy's hands inside his own. Harry squealed.

'Who knows, I might get a shot at him whilst I'm in their captivity.' Sirius joked, but no one laughed. In fact Lily's face scrunched up as though she was holding back the threatening and sudden tears, James's face turned white whilst Remus frowned so deeply the expression looked as though it had been carved into his skin with a blade.

'Don't say stuff like that Sirius,' Lily said quietly, 'I feel bad enough as it is—'

'I won't die Lily; I won't let him kill me. I'll hold out on him. You have to give me some credit; I'm not a pathetic useless lump like Peter.' The last sentence came out harsh and rude, and they all rounded on him angrily.

Sirius realised his fatal error and started laughing, encouraging them to believe it was just a joke. He wished he could pluck the words from the air and stuff them back into his mouth. 'Aha, I was joking guys, Peter knows I love him.' He managed to choke out.

'Still, you shouldn't say things like that...'

'Ah well, he's not here.' Eager to turn the conversation around, Sirius beamed at them. 'Now,' he said. 'I'm not sure about you guys but I can't wait until the Auror meeting tomorrow.'

'Are you sure you want to come tomorrow Paddy?' James's soft voice asked gently.

The handsome Black frowned. Why were they all protecting him and making sure he was alright; wasn't it better that he was prepared for Voldemort instead of shielded until the time came?

He furiously got up, impatiently tugging his sweater down. What with Dumbledore's gentle words, and Moody's calming ones, and his friends making sure he felt alright ... it was all too much!

Sirius paced the room, whilst his friends held their breath in anticipation. They probably expected his insatiable fury to explode like it often did. But instead he continued pacing the large living room and soon settled by the window. It was raining, and the clouds above were very dark and ominous. They taunted him with their distorted faces. He watched the clouds, leaning against the windowsill and watching the rain trickling down the window on the other side. It felt like he was miles away.

'I'm not a baby,' he said quietly. 'I don't need protection. I just need you to act like everything is normal, I want you to pretend everything's fine.'

After a moment's silence James hopped up. 'You want to act like everything's normal? Everything's fine? Okay, I'll humour you Paddy. Come on, we're going outside.'

Sirius looked up excitedly.

'But it's raining guys, you should stay in.' Lily protested.

James ignored her and grabbed his friend by the arm, dragging him. 'Come on. We're going to have some fun in the rain. Remus, you coming?'

'And catch a cold? No thanks Prongs.'

James shrugged and proceeded to drag Sirius down the corridor. After a few minutes, the remaining pair in the Potter Manor heard the mischievous boys run down the stairs hard and loud before slamming the front door. Remus and Lily exchanged looks and hurried to the window that overlooked the enormous playing field.

Soon they saw James and Sirius running around barefoot, already soaking wet from the hard rain. The boys were soon kicking each other and pushing each other roughly. Until Sirius fell over and James started laughing hard, falling to his knees as he sniggered hysterically.

Lily and Remus watched as both of the crazy and very wet Marauders transformed into their Animagi forms, where Padfoot proceeded to run after Prongs who kept whacking him sternly with his antlers. Then the stag Animagus jumped up in his newly transformed human form, the dog Animagus copying him. James hopped on Sirius's back and they ran around the field taking it in turns to give each other piggybacks.

Even though they were a whole floor up, and the windows were closed Lily and Remus could hear the giggles and laughter echoing all around them. It was nice and calming; almost as though nothing had changed.

Lily's frown turned into a smile and she fell onto the sofa in front of the fire. 'James is so clever some times...'

Remus grinned in agreement, tugging on his slightly long hair with dissatisfaction. 'Yeah, he cheers up Sirius by acting Harry's age, quite ingenious, Lils, really, he's outdone himself...'

'—THAT HURT YOU STUPID MUTT!'

'And sometimes he's an idiot,' Lily sighed, laughing after a moment. 'I'm so grateful, I'm so grateful I don't even know how to make Sirius understand. How could he do this without as much as a bat of his eyelashes? We didn't even need to ask. He volunteered. And he has so much to give, so much to _live for_!'

Her eyes started streaming and she brushed the tears from her eyes impatiently. Lily Evans Potter did not like tears. 'I'll never forgive myself Moony; I'll never forgive myself if something happened to him. And James?' she made a noise of disgust in the back of her throat. 'He'd die, he'd do something ... he'll destroy someone if anything happens to Pads. You know he will. Only something _is_ going to happen, and it'll be our fault. I love him like a brother! He _is_ my brother, and I don't want him to die.' Her chest was heaving and she looked ready to cry.

Remus started shaking his head. He took a seat besides her and put an arm around her shoulders. Immediately she cuddled into his side, and to anyone else looking in on their scene, they might have thought it was romantic, but with Lily, nothing the Marauders did with her was romantic. It was affectionate and sisterly, and loving and caring, but never romantic.

Remus shook his head, kissing her hair. 'It's not your fault Lily. It's Padfoot's, for being such an impulsive and reckless lunatic. But he's doing this because he loves you guys. Just like he knows any of us would do it for him. Now smile, you'll worry him if he sees your tears.'

Lily sighed but nodded, wiping her tears. She plastered on a smile that faltered, but after another try, successfully worked. 'How does this look?'

'I've never seen a faker smile,' Remus laughed. And she in return gave him a watery chuckle. They heard more bellowing from James, whose laughter started vibrating through the air. Hurrying forward, they peaked through the window to see the mischievous and bespectacled Marauder on Sirius's back again running around like wild kids – maybe because they were wild kids quite literally. Then the reckless handsome Marauder slipped on the slick grass and fell on his back which unfortunately, another bespectacled Marauder was. There was a howl of pain followed by a snicker.

'Thanks Jamesy-boo, you broke my fall—'

'Oh shut up, let's go back to Lily. I need her to mend the _spine_ I'm pretty sure you and your fat arse just broke!' And both boys got up rather stiffly and painfully before trotting off towards the house.

Remus and Lily started laughing softly when minutes later they entered the lounge soaking wet. James fell onto the sofa and groaned deeply whilst Sirius was muttering under his breath about how un-fat his arse was.

'Lils, could you give me a massage?'

'You deserved it from the look of things,' she replied dryly, snatching Harry from Sirius who had been throwing him in the air and almost dropped him in the fireplace!

'I'll massage you Prongs, if you take back what you said about my arse.' Sirius said, winking at the others and turning to face James with a stern expression.

James sighed and nodded stiffly. 'Okay, whatever.' He fixed Sirius with a fake, cheery smile. 'You, my love, do not have a fat arse, but rather, a beautifully carved arse. You have Adonis's arse, Jesus' arse. In fact, I just said that because of how jealous I am of your beautiful arse.'

Sirius started laughing hard, settling onto the sofa and cuddling up to his sprawled and clearly in pain friend. He turned to Lily and Remus, making dirty gestures about what he'd like to do to James's arse, and the werewolf and redhead started laughing hard and deep.

'What are you doing?' James asked, trying to turn and see what his friend was doing.

'Nothing.' Sirius said, delicately massaged James's back. Loud noises started exiting James's mouth, sounding both filthy and clearly enjoyable. This made Sirius giggle. He was used to their slightly homoerotic friendship. Now he barely noticed it.

Lily rolled her eyes as she played with Harry who was pulling her hair. 'I'm worried about tomorrow.' She confessed, scratching her chin and looking out of the window. The rain had stemmed but the clouds still sneered at her.

'Why?' James asked before calling out in a hiss of pleasure. Sirius laughed. Rose had always said he gave the best massages.

'Well it'll be our last Order meeting. And it'll be the last time we see any of them, any of our friends.'

'You can't act weird too Lily, you have to act normal.'

'I know but...' she sighed. 'I wish I could hug all of them, and wish them the best. Who knows how long we'll be in hiding?'

Sirius sighed and gave James's shoulders one last squeeze before sagging into the opposite corner of the sofa. He looked up. 'We all have to act normal. I'm going to hide too, I was thinking up in Ireland. They wouldn't look there. I like Ireland...'

'They'd look everywhere.' Remus said shortly, harsher than he intended. Maybe it was just the thought of his friend on the run from such a dangerous group.

Sirius raised an eyebrow delicately. 'I'll run faster.'

'You can run but you can't hide.'

'Maybe Lucius would be the one to find me? I'll find myself distracted by the pleasure of reuniting my foot with his arse.'

James barked a laugh and sat up a bit more. He looked at his friend and shook his head, the smile on his face slipping off more and more until soon, there was no smile. His face was masked with poorly concealed sadness but he tried to cover it up with that fake smile. Such a sombre and solemn smile. Like the Mona Lisa smile. It was beautiful, it was sad.

'I don't want you hurt Paddy,' his voice was bare of disguises, of pretences and false bravery. His voice was naked, and in that nudity, Sirius could hear the pure dread and fright.

Sirius gulped, following Lily's line of sight, out of the window. He frowned, put a hand on his friend's and looked down. 'I ... I don't want you dead.' He answered just as gravely.

_xo_

Sirius wasn't able to sleep. He stayed with Remus and the Potters for as long as he could, and even cuddled up with his favourite (and only) godson, who giggled and dribbled in his ear, calling him more than once "Uncl' Paddy!"

Lily almost begged him to stay over, asking him if he could spend the night with them in his old room which he usually inhabited whenever he slept over, and which had at one point belonged to him for three years. He declined though, telling them he had a few things to do before they cast the spell. 'I just want to write a few letters and withdraw money from my vault for Ireland; I've got thousands of galleons left.'

Lily had kissed him twice on the cheek and thanked him, almost exploding in tears. James was worse, and hugged him for what seemed like an hour. The bespectacled Potter had buried his head in his friend's neck and thanked him.

Sirius had left but not before giving Harry an enormous kiss and waving them goodbye, telling them to come to his home tomorrow if they could. Then him and Remus had left, discussing topics that strayed far from what they really wished to talk about.

'Promise me you'll stay safe?' Remus begged.

'I'll see you soon Remus,' Sirius reassured as he gave his friend a short embrace. Then he disapparated and swivelled into sight right before the flat doors, posh and grand.

But standing there wasn't the door, or rather, it was covered mostly by a pleasant surprise. By _someone. _

Sirius stared for a moment, and then lunged before he knew what he was doing. His anger ate at him, and with a nifty and nonverbal silencing charm Peter Pettigrew truly was silent.

Ten minutes later and he was bleeding on the floor of Sirius's bathroom. His whimpers had finally broken free from the charm that kept his words soundless. The bathroom was a mixture of modern and traditional; Sirius's tastes differed very little from his family's surprisingly.

The bathtub was big enough for two grown men, and the shower in the corner was big enough for three. The room had hushed to a golden glow, for the candles sensed moods. Romantic; angry; scared. There was an enormous mirror taking up almost half of a wall.

The bathroom was a beautiful room, and perhaps Sirius's favourite room, and so he felt very angry that the object of his disgust and hate was lying almost lifeless on the floor with scarlet blood trickling across the marble floor.

'Why?' he moaned, looking down at the oldest Marauder, the shortest and the dumbest.

Peter looked up with a frightened expression on his adorable face. It was as white as parchment, and his blond hair was matted with blood. It blue eyes were already swollen and the light long lashes were casting shadows down to his cheeks from the dim lighting.

'Sirius ... please...' his weak voice begged. Peter had the appearance of someone who had lost a lot of weight in a short amount of time.

The handsome Black groaned and buried his face in his hands. 'Why would you do this to us Peter?' Sirius all but sobbed, his voice cracking and breaking and stammering. 'Why would you do this to me?' he whispered.

Peter struggled to get up into a more dignified position but when he failed he slumped closer to the shower door behind him. 'I was scared,' his hoarse voice breathed.

Sirius gasped.

_xo _

'_Why Regulus?' Sirius hissed angrily, pinching his brother's arm and dragging him down an alley somewhere off Knockturn. He looked into the identical eyes, in everything but colour. Regulus had beautiful eyes; they were deep sapphire pools brimmed with long and thick lustrous lashes. He looked into his brother's eyes and he couldn't even recognise who was staring back at him. _

'_Why did you join the Order?'_

_Sirius stopped for a moment and gaped. How did his little brother know about the secret organisation that swore to battle the war they knew they were losing? 'H-how do—'_

'_How do I know? Because you aren't as secret as you think you are Sirius! And Snape was told to follow you and that filthy werewolf Lupin a few months back...'_

_Sirius buried his face exasperatedly into his hands. 'I joined the Order to save the world.'_

_His younger brother laughed short and harsh. 'I joined the Death Eaters to save Wizarding blood. Isn't that just as important.' He replied just as shortly. _

_Something inside Sirius snapped. He wasn't sure what. Perhaps it was his patience? Or perhaps it was the love he felt for his brother. But something snapped and it hurt so much Sirius struggled for breath and dropped his head to his brother's shoulder._

_To anyone else it would have looked affectionate; loving. But for Sirius it was necessary, like he needed something to lean on so he could breathe. Because it was hurting to breathe. _

'_Reggie, you use to be so kind.'_

'_You use to be kind too.'_

'_I _am_ still kind...'_

_Regulus shook his head vehemently. 'Not to me Sirius! Not to me. You've been horrible to me for too long and I'm tired of putting up with it. I didn't join the Death Eaters and the Dark Lord to spite and shame you, I'm a smart boy. I did it because I've always known it was my fate. And perhaps if you didn't struggle so much you'd realise how much it's yours.'_

_Sirius gripped his brother's shoulders and pushed him against the brick wall furiously. Their chests were touching, and if Sirius leaned in an inch his lips would be touching his brother's nose._

_'You're stupid for doing this! You think you'll rise above the others? You think you'll become the Dark Lord's favourite. You have competition Regulus. People older with more experience, people willing to do the cruellest things.'_

'_I don't care. I want to do this.'_

'_You don't _want_ to do this, you _think_ you do! Mother and Father have poisoned your mind too much.'_

'_They love me, they care about me. What can be said about you? Disowned—'_

'_And yet I have more money then you do.'_

_Regulus scoffed and dug into his pocket, withdrawing a check for him to the Gringotts goblins. It was in the hand of his Mother, declaring he be allowed to extract three thousand galleons. 'What big brother? You were never allowed to withdraw this much money?'_

_Sirius bit his lip, what Regulus was saying was true. But why did he need all that money? 'Well I have the inheritance from Uncle Alphard, I don't need petty galleons.' Sirius snapped impatiently, glaring at his brother. 'Why do you need three thousand galleons anyway?'_

_The younger Black glowered. 'None of your business. I will however warn you. Your friends and yourself are in danger, perchance in the next few months the Dark Lord _will_ hunt you because of this. You're becoming too grandiose. But you never bode well in keeping to the shadows.' _

_This time Sirius was the one who scoffed. 'I was good at it sometimes when I wanted to be. It took McGonagall three weeks to pin me and James down with the crime of beating up Snape.'_

_Regulus chuckled before he could realise what he was doing and try to stop it. Sirius's grey eyes met his brother's sapphire ones and they felt such a longing for the past when they had been inseparable and so consumed with their admiration for one another. _

'_What changed everything?' croaked Regulus._

_Sirius rested his forehead once again on his slightly shorter brother's shoulder. 'I don't know Reg, I really don't know... Why did you do it?'_

_Regulus ducked his chin from the steely gaze he was getting, and reluctantly looked up when Sirius forced his chin up. 'Why did you do it?' he asked again._

_Regulus's eyes welled with tears, the first time Sirius had seen his little brother cry in such a long time. It made him want to cry. Sirius brushed the first one that fell away. 'Why Regulus?' he asked gently; so gently. _

'_I... I was— I was scared.' His whispering voice replied._

_Sirius shook his head very slowly. He couldn't believe his baby brother was a Death Eater. If he had ever been betrayed before, this was the worst betrayal. 'That's not good enough.'_

_xo_

Sirius's breath was taken away. Just then, precisely that moment Peter's eyes twinkled with the tears he was fighting to hold back, and he reminded Sirius so much of his younger brother. The words he said, the way he said them and the expression he wore on his face.

Reluctantly, and almost slowly he looked Peter in the eyes and watched as a flicker of hope rekindled inside those turquoise blue eyes.

He sat down, taking his time, opposite his best friend. Withdrawing his wand from his pocket he waved it and the blood from the floor slowly started seeping back inside the body it belonged too.

He set to work, using his wide range of Healing Spells to mend his friend. He knitted the enormous gash on Peter's forehead and watched as the intricate thread softly wove the torn skin together. He helped the darkening bruises on Peter's face fade. He sealed the split lip and cast a Blood Replenishing Charm. Finally he conjured some bandages from his kitchen and gently wrapped them around the hands of Peter without looking him in the eye.

Then Sirius got up and stretched before extinguishing the lights of the bathroom and setting off to the kitchen. After what seemed like an hour but was in actual fact about ten minutes Peter came out of the bathroom with the blood cleaned from his face and hair, and a scared expression.

Sirius was washing the blood off his hands in the sink and did not look up to meet Peter in the eye.

'There's some tea on the table.' He said. His voice sounded hollow; dead.

The whole flat was silent besides the sound of a chair being withdrawn and scraping across the marble flooring. He turned to Peter who was trembling; his face was still white and tears were falling down his face.

'It's not good enough.' Sirius said again the hollow voice. He pulled back the chair and like Peter's it scraped across the floor filling the silent room with noise. 'Being scared; it's not good enough.'

Peter flinched when he saw Sirius and the trembling grew. 'I... I—' and then he closed his small mouth, unable to think of something to say. The handsome Black stood up, ignoring the flinching rat and strode out of the room, weaving through the corridors before he was finally in his enormous bedroom.

The bedroom had a window almost the size of a whole wall. There was a dresser cluttered with pictures of the Marauders, and a lone one right at the back of him and his brother. There was even one of Rose Taten. Right at the back though. To hide the object of his heartbreak he had put it right at the back.

The bed was large, and neatly made. The floor was wooden and almost black, and the walls were a very pale blue. He remembered Lily decorating it for him. He loved that woman so much. Sirius moved the small wooden bedside cabinet from its place revealing a small vault behind it. Not really a vault, but a safe that held all of his most prized possessions. He waved his wand and whispered the spell only he knew.

Inside were love letters between him and Taten. There was a thick photo album of him and the Marauders together throughout their first few Hogwarts years. There was also a cheque book to Gringotts which he extracted before sealing the safe again and moving the cabinet back to cover it.

When he entered the kitchen Peter was sobbing. At the sound of Sirius's feet he stopped the whimpering sounds but the flow of tears couldn't stop. Sirius sat back down opposite Peter. He looked the smaller boy in the eye with fury and pain.

'You're going to leave. Get out of Britain, get out of Europe. You're going to leave and promise me, _promise me, _this foolishness is over.' His hard and angry voice ordered.

Peter looked up and wiped the tears from his face. 'Wh—why?'

'They know Peter.' He said simply, humbly.

Peter covered his mouth. 'They know? Who knows?'

'Dumbledore, and by tomorrow the whole Order. You're going to Azkaban Peter, and you are _not_ coming back. But not if you take what I give you and promise me that it's over with the Death Eaters and Voldemort. Otherwise I'll have to tell Dumbledore where you are.'

Peter shook his head. 'I can't Sirius! I can't! That'll mean the Order, the Ministry and the Dark Lord would be after me and you know I can't hide from them all.'

Sirius closed his eyes and pressed his fingers to his forehead. He couldn't believe he was doing this. If Peter hadn't said those three words earlier in the bathroom and reminded him so much of Regulus then he was sure he wouldn't have done this. But Peter had reminded him of his beloved brother, and it made him remember in some way Peter was his brother too.

If there was anything he regretted it was not doing this for Regulus. It was for Regulus feeling he couldn't come to Sirius for help. And that was what hurt most. Not the betrayal and not the lying. Just the fact that he could have come to Sirius for help and guidance when he needed it but he didn't. Sirius was sure Regulus wouldn't be rotting wherever he was if he had just come for advice.

'When I realised what you were Peter, I couldn't quite believe it. I was remembering that oath we all swore too after I let slip to Snape where Remus used to transform. How we would never lie to one another or betray one another, and for a year you have precisely been doing that. And I feel like I felt when Regulus died, I feel so devastated. So... so _heartbroken_.' He whispered wiping the single tear that was collecting on the edge of his eye but hadn't fallen. 'I told Dumbledore in a fit of rage and he promised that you would get what you deserve. But I'm not so sure you deserve it anymore.'

The hope flickered again in Peter's eyes and Sirius felt both relieved and annoyed.

'All I can think about Peter is _why_ you would do this to us. Why did you think that Voldemort's side were winning, that we were losing?'

Peter was silent, but to fill the silence he sipped the cold tea from the mug and set it down. Looking up hesitantly his turquoise eyes met Sirius's furious grey pools. 'I've never been like you and James and Remus...' his small voice croaked. 'I've never been brave like James or smart like Remus or strong like you. I've always been the extra Marauder all through Hogwarts.'

'But you were something Peter, to us at least. You were always the kind one, the nervous one, the warm one. But you've broken that.'

'All I wanted was to get through this war. I've always been the scared one, and I was so scared when Lucius and Bellatrix approached me.'

Sirius ignored how Peter used their first names and instead hissed, jumping out of his chair and kicking it so hard one of the legs fell off. He roared in rage and kicked the chair again.

'MALFOY? MALFOY WAS THE ONE?' he roared, turning his burning eyes onto Peter.

Peter had covered his face and was cowering away like a child in front of a wolf. 'He ... he t-told me to join other-otherwise he'd m-make sure I d-d-died first in any b-battles.' Stuttered Peter in a child's voice; quite and scared and doubtful.

'AND YOU TOLD HIM? YOU TOLD _HIM_ OF OUR PLANS AND OUR IDEAS?' roared Sirius, clutching at his head and clawing at his face as the horror set in.

'H-he m-made me. H-he s-said he'd k-k-kill my M-Mother,' whispered the small man.

Sirius stopped and stared, open eyes at Peter. Then he slowly sagged down on the floor. It was always Malfoy. If there was anyone he hated more than Snape or Voldemort it was Malfoy. The man who had initiated his brother into the Death Eaters and then a few years later, took that same beloved brother's away. The man who had snatched Peter freely as though he was nothing but a small prize.

'He said he'd kill Mary?' asked Sirius, this time in a more gently voice. It was still loud, but it was calmer. 'He said that?'

Peter nodded. 'After a-a while I didn't m-mind so much.' he admitted. 'T-they were n-nicer when I w-was more co-cooperative.'

'Why did you let him get away with this?'

'I d-didn't have a choice at f-first. I'd have r-rather talked t-to Lucius than B-Bellatrix.'

Sirius could imagine Peter's horror at realising if he didn't cooperate with Malfoy, he'd get Sirius's dear cousin. He had to admit though; all of the Blacks had inherited the madness. Sirius just managed to maintain it, except in battles and fights when the madness exploded from inside him. And whenever he was angry ... but that was obvious.

'Peter, the Order will be looking for you. If you're put in Azkaban you'll die there, if you're caught by the Order during a battle they'll probably kill you. We hate traitors more than enemies most of the time.' He said in a threatening voice, shaking his head with disbelief.

Malfoy. Of all the people it had to be Malfoy. Well now he had another reason to hate the man; he had corrupted another brother of Sirius's. And to him that warranted death. But being a Death Eater warranted death anyway, at least in Barty Crouch's eyes.

Sirius opened his cheque book. The last cheque he had written was eight months ago to Rose, who needed money to go to Australia. He hadn't seen her since, and though he felt lonely without her, Remus and James were just as soft to cuddle and just as fun to play around with.

This was a lie of course. He missed her so much.

He remembered the day clearly. It had been after Valentine's Day, and he had spent the whole weekend making love to Rose until she abruptly told him a month later that she needed to go. He knew there was something she wasn't telling him and it hurt to watch her leave. He didn't believe her excuses of "not wanting to stay tied down" and "needing to discover herself". But he let her leave.

He gave her ten thousand galleons which she converted into pounds (well over fifty thousand pounds) and watched idly as she bought an airplane ticket and left the next day. He had asked her years ago why she was so fond of airplanes and realised when she didn't answer that it was because Rose belonged in the skies.

She hated floo and she hated apparating. He smiled fondly as he flipped over to the next open cheque. He only had fifty thousand galleons left in his Gringotts vault, and though to anyone else that seemed an immense amount, to him it didn't seem enough.

Silently he wrote out a cheque for twelve thousand galleons to Peter. He signed it and then cut his finger before pressing the small cut of blood onto the tiny box it was supposed to go in.

He handed the cheque over to Peter and brought his finger up to his lips to lick the blood off. 'Get out of Britain, out of Europe if you can. I don't care where, don't tell me, I might regret this and inform Dumbledore. Spend this money on settling down and I'll visit you in a few months. You need to leave _now_. The Order meeting is tomorrow morning and they'll be looking for you when you don't turn up.'

Peter looked up with a spark in his eyes. He slung the bloody rucksack over his back and tucked the check deep inside the folds of his black robes. Sirius walked him to the front door but an idea struck him and he suddenly grabbed Peter's arm and drew back the sleeve.

The Dark Mark was vivid against Peter's white pale skin. He dropped the forearm like he had been burned and turned away whilst his old friend walked out, running a hand angrily through his hair and gulping.

But before the door closed he heard in a soft and hesitant voice, 'Thank you Padfoot.'

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><p><em>AN: Thanks for reading guys, I'm really grateful for the reviews I've been getting on the previous chapters._

_Please leave some more comments, they boost my ego and they make me so happy. They also keep chapters coming quicker :D_

_I hope you liked this latest instalment!_

_xo_


	7. He's Ready, So Ready

_Disclaimer; I own nothing but the OCs and the plot, thanks. _

_A/N: I think this is the longest chapter so far, so please do leave a review and tell me what you think about it. If you haven't left a comment yet, leave me a few words! You guys rock!_

_Take care & enjoy :)_

_-xo_

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><p><em>xoxo<em>

_7. He's Ready, So Ready_

Sirius cleaned every trace of the spilt blood from his large flat. Then he thoroughly washed the mug Peter had been drinking from. He tried to stop thinking of the smaller man and instead his thoughts fluttered over to Regulus.

His thoughts had been doing that a lot lately, fluttering to his baby brother. The year he had died Sirius stubbornly refused to think of him. It hurt after all, to think of someone so dear and yet so alien to him. He could remember times when his brother use to look up to him like a role model.

Sirius would show off and then his brother would get upset at not being able to do some of the things he could do. But there was one talent Regulus could shine in and that was flying. He had never seen someone so good; Regulus and James both use to compete for the position of best flier in Hogwarts. Well James had won now; one of the competitors was dead. But it had been nice to know his brother was so good.

Regulus had also gotten incredible OWLs, just as good as Sirius's. And in many ways he was just as smart and fun. But when they had been together in the most recent years it didn't feel right. It felt like they were away from their families and with a stranger. Sirius knew that it was his fault. His family shunned him and in turn he shunned Regulus.

Perhaps this was another way of redemption? He had been trying to redeem himself a lot the past few days. Was it because he knew his life was coming to an end? Sirius had always said when he died he would want to be the first one out of the Marauders, so that they would all know. But he was going to stay optimistic and cheerful otherwise James would never let him do it.

Making a cup of tea, and then cuddling up on the sofa before the roaring fire whilst listening to Bodewell and his half-arsed speeches on the Wireless, Sirius fell asleep. His dreams were plagued with the images of Peter on the run, much like he was sure his brother had been. But then again he didn't know how Regulus had died, or where he was even now. His dream drifted to a horrible scene, where he was sitting on a roof with all the Death Eaters firing curses at him and Voldemort crying for him to come down.

The dreams were painful and they seemed to go on forever, each conjuring up a painful experience for Sirius. He could almost feel the Cruciatus Curse, and smell the fear his body was radiating, that bone shaking fear, and taste the crimson blood pooling down his face.

Then there was a hand on his shoulder and he yelped, falling off the sofa, kicking and breaking the mug that he had set on the floor during his sleepy stupor and landing on his back.

Looking down at him with a laugh on his face was his best friend—

'James!' cried Sirius angrily, taking the hand extended and lifting himself from the wooden floor. His friend was still laughing and Sirius shoved him, storming off to the bathroom to freshen up. He looked in the mirror and winced at how horrible he looked. James came into the bathroom, holding the newly repaired mug and grinned at his friend.

'Hey Pads,' he said, leaning casually against the doorway. Then his friend feigned a wince. 'Ooh Paddy, you don't look so good, what happened?'

Sirius glared at him through the mirror, touching the enormous black bags under his eyes. He washed his face and then brushed his teeth, ignoring James stubbornly. Though secretly, he was ever so grateful that he'd been plucked from the nightmare that had felt almost real. Sirius squeezed more toothpaste on his toothbrush and sent James another glare through the mirror, brushing his teeth once more. He had to get that taste of blood out of his mouth; it had tasted so real.

'Shall I make breakfast then?' asked James, and then without warning he bound off to the kitchen, more probably. James never made breakfast for anyone and that made Sirius feel a little special. He ran a hand over his chin and felt that it was rather smooth, and the little stubble there was made him look sexier. With nothing more to do he had a quick shower before changing into a blue jumper and some black trousers. He threw a robe over the top of it. When he exited his bedroom he could smell sausages sizzling and eggs frying and his stomach growled.

'Thank honey, I'm starving,' Sirius joked, sitting down at the table. His bespectacled friend waved the spatula around and pointed it at his face.

'No telling anyone about this, especially Lily and Moony.'

Sirius grinned, moving back as the plate filled with food was set in front of him. He immediately dug in and groaned out loud. 'James this is incredible, it's _always_ incredible.'

His friend gave a cocky smile, tucking in to his own meal. 'See, I'm not as useless as Lily says I am. I take care of Harry, I play with him, I put the toilet seat down and I can make breakfast. Though I've never actually made breakfast for Lily before come to think of it. I make a meal a year, quite literally.'

'Well I'm honoured James, that I'm the first person you've made it for. It tastes just like Aunt Dory's.' And he felt like he was a little kid again. When he use to stay at their house and she'd make English breakfasts for him and the other Marauders.

James smiled. 'Before Hogwarts I use to cook with her a lot, and then I got lazy. Don't tell Lily though! She'll abuse my gift,'

'Have I told anyone of your gift before?'

James shrugged. 'You're untrustworthy when it comes down to shit like that...'

Sirius barked a laugh and they finished their breakfast with cheery banter. Their Order meeting was at noon and it was two hours till, so they lounged around in the living room listening to the Wireless and talking about nothing.

Sirius had never felt so relaxed, considering what was going to happen that same night. Soon though James drifted to the topic of the Fidelius Charm. Sirius bit his lip and looked down at James's feet resting in his lap.

'What?' he asked quietly, cautiously. An image of Peter flickered through his mind.

'I don't want you to do it Paddy,' James pleaded, putting his feet on the ground and shuffling closer to his friend. 'Please don't do it, we'll get Dumbledore to do it, there's still time.'

'No.' Sirius hissed. 'No, I won't trust anyone to do this. You haven't seen what could happen if we trusted someone else. I want to do this, I need to do this. I don't want to lose you—'

James put a hand on his arm and their eyes met. 'You'll get yourself killed, and then I'll get myself killed trying to kill those that killed you! It doesn't make sense at all!'

If it was a different conversation Sirius would have laughed, and he couldn't help the ghost of a smile flicker on his face. 'Trust me.'

'I do.'

'No you don't James, trust that I'll keep you safe. Trust that I don't want anything to happen to you. Trust that I won't die, that I promise not to die.' Gently he pulled up James's sleeve where there was a tattoo that stood out against his pale skin; saying 'the Marauders' in magnificent writing.

'We're the Marauders. And maybe to McGonagall it's childish and silly but to me you and Remus mean everything to me.'

'And Peter,' added James. He dropped his head in grief, on his arm. 'If anything happens to you I could never forgive myself...' He made a noise of disgust in the back of his throat. Then James quickly looked up. 'Promise me? Promise me you'll hide too, and you won't go looking for trouble.'

Sirius rolled his eyes.

'On the Marauders Oath, I promise James. I'll hide, I'll run if it comes to running. But with your life on the line, with Lily's and my little godson's, I would _never _risk your lives and do something foolish.'

James watched him with a calculating gaze for a long moment before he found what he wanted and smiled contently. James fell back on the sofa, lifting his feet onto his friend's lap and smirking when they were pushed off. He didn't mind though. If he couldn't save his friend, he could at least make sure Sirius tried to save himself.

They were meeting at Kingsley's place, because it was rather large and no wizards lived in near proximity which meant Voldemort wouldn't be able to catch wind of what they were doing or discussing. After all, the spy had gone. Peter had gone.

He didn't know how he could get himself out of this mess. What if Dumbledore knew it was him who had warned Peter. He couldn't just let a decade of glorious friendship go down the toilet after one _enormously_ enormous bad move. Just like he had flushed his relationship with his brother down the fucking loo.

When they tidied up (threw the dishes into the sink) they left the flat, putting up a great deal more safety spells than necessary, especially Dark-Repelling Charms. Out at the back was Sirius's shimmering black bike, her glossy exterior shining in the dim sunlight. They both headed to the bike—

'Can I ride it today?'

'It's your fault for selling yours a few weeks ago, arsehole!'

James frowned and gave his best puppy dog eyes; though unfortunately he had nothing on Sirius and Remus. Nonetheless it sort of worked.

'I needed money, my inheritance is running out real quick because I don't have a job and when Dumbledore said I needed to buy a new house, well where could I get some extra money from?'

'You should have become an Auror like me,' Sirius said as he got on behind James. The bike was really quite big, and though he didn't know where to put his hands he settled to resting them on his dear friend's shoulders, like the other Marauders always did when they rode with him.

James was a bit rusty in driving a motorbike, because even though he'd only sold it a few weeks ago, he hadn't ridden it in almost six months – and riding a motorbike was something you needed to constantly practise.

But after a few unsuccessful attempts they were in the air and soaring through the chilly skies. James was a smooth flier naturally, because he was so adapt at flying on a broom. And it was almost calming to have someone else drive whilst Sirius sat doing nothing, relaxing and feeling the wind in his hair. It was stressful riding a bike and more than once he'd crashed with one of the Marauders riding with him, or Rose Taten.

He let his thoughts trail off to Rose. He hadn't seen her in months, and he missed her terribly. Though sleeping with different girls most days of the week did help. He liked sleeping with the blonde ones, they reminded him of Rose. Or ones with really long hair. Or pale green eyes. James said it was sick, and Sirius agreed.

He wished he could write her a letter, and he promised himself he would. He hadn't spoken to her in months, and was there a better time than now? He'd ask how everything was faring in Australia. If she'd done any paintings, and perhaps if she could send him one. If she had a job, if her Mother was okay, if she'd met anyone...

All these questions raced through his mind and he realised with a quiet gasp just how important she was. How he would die loving no one but her. But then he grimaced. It was all her fault; she was such a bitch sometimes. She was rude and proud and wild and fun and all those other adjectives that described the counterpart to Sirius.

Would he get to see her one more time? He doubted it. If he ever got out of this alive though, he would go and see her and tell her he loved her and wanted her back.

Because of the lack of sleep he had experienced thanks to Peter, Sirius could feel his eyes closing gently and his head slump.

James looked over and smiled softly. He'd let his friend sleep, as dangerous as it was to fall asleep whilst racing through the skies at a hundred and fifty miles an hour. He made sure Sirius's arms were tight around his shoulders, slowed down a little as the bike continued to their destination.

_xo_

Sirius and James knocked on the door, laughing hard.

The bike was a few metres to their left. The house was very large and grey. The grounds around it were over three or four acres. A few miles or so down were a few other Muggle cottages and a pub, which Sirius promised himself he'd visit after the meeting.

Sirius put on a poker face and grinned when it was Professor McGonagall who opened it. She frowned at the cigarettes perched in James and Sirius's mouths and signalled for them to put it out.

Sirius rolled his eyes, took one last deep drag and threw it on the ground before turning away from her and exhaling, licking his lips. His friend however started sucking in the smoke quickly to get McGonagall annoyed which he succeeded in doing. McGonagall bared her teeth furiously waved her wand a little too hard. The cigarette disappeared with a 'POOF'.

James blew the smoke out in her face and frowned. 'Professor, I was enjoying that—'

'Shut up and get in, both of you.' She replied irritably. Then she stormed off, no doubt to rant about them to anyone who would listen. They entered the house, their shoes echoing against the hard floor. The staircase was tall and grand and spiralled off into oblivion. They made their way to the dining room where almost everyone was. Sirius saw Harry and hurried forward, picking his godson up and kissing him.

'How's my favourite boy?' he asked tenderly, swinging the boy around. James barged Sirius playfully out of the way, scooping up his son and throwing him in the air before catching him. He kissed Lily briefly on the lips when she drew back quickly.

'Have you been smoking?' Lily hissed, her eyes narrowing.

James awkwardly smiled. 'Erm ... guilty.' Before she could lecture or threaten him, James ducked away from her and went back to winding Sirius up.

Remus soon came, apologising for his tardiness and greeting all his friends. 'I went to Peter's to see how he's getting on but he wasn't there. He didn't even open the door.'

Sirius turned away so they wouldn't see his face but he intently listened to what they were saying.

'We haven't seen him in quite a while,' Lily mused. Sirius bit his lip hard. At least Peter had gotten away; at least he was on his way to wherever it was he was going. And hopefully he was safe. Peter was smart when he wanted to be; especially when it came to tactics and staying in the shadows. After all, he had been a spy for over a year.

'I think something's up...' James said softly, running a hand through Harry's hair and pressing a kiss to his son's forehead. 'We haven't seen him in ages, and he hasn't visited. I'm worried about him.'

Silence hushed over the large room and Dumbledore walked in. It was intimidating to see him in sweeping purple robes and a serene expression on his face. Almost like a war wasn't going on at all.

'Please, sit down. We have some important issues to talk about—'

Limping into the room with the THUMP of his cane was Moody, his glass eye swivelling around and accessing everyone's faces. 'Sorry I'm late Dumbledore; damn Death Eater saw me and bolted. Tried to chase him. Tried and failed because of this damn leg! If only _you_ were there Black, he wouldn't have gotten away. Bunkin' training whenever you want!'

Sirius laughed, and ignored the glare Moody sent him. 'I'm sorry Moodster; I'll be there next time.'

Moody grunted as he sat down on the spare seat saved for him on Dumbledore's left.

They whispered to each other for a second and then Dumbledore turned to face the whole table. There must have been about twenty of them, some couldn't attend and some were recovering still from the Hogsmeade Battle that had taken place a few weeks prior.

The old Headmaster looked around once more and then his eyes settled on Sirius. 'Some grave news came to me a few days ago, some very grave news.' His voice was sombre and deep, and the twinkle in his eyes shone brighter than usual.

'Sirius Black informed me on whom the traitor is.' The mutter that echoed through the room hurt Sirius's ears as his cheeks turned a little pink – thank God for the dim lighting.

He could feel Lily pinching him to get his attention and James whispering urgently in his ear but he ignored it all. The only person he could see was Dumbledore. The room hushed when everyone saw the old man's mouth open as he waited for silence.

'The traitor is Peter Petti—'

'NOOOO!' cried James and Lily and Remus simultaneously. They all jumped out of their seats in uproar. Their faces were red and their eyes were wide in disbelief. 'It's not true!' one of them called. Sirius impatiently tugged on James's arm.

'It's true,' his hoarse voice said quietly. 'Would I lie about a betrayal from a best friend?' He asked them. Lily sat down slowly, shaking her head in disbelief and Remus soon followed, burying his face in his hands whilst Alice put a hand on his back and whispered some comforting, friendly words.

But James stayed standing.

'It's not true, it can't be.' His voice was so quiet it even hurt to try and hear his words.

Sirius watched him for a second and when James started muttering and shaking his head, he furiously jumped. 'Prongs.' James didn't look at him but continued staring at Dumbledore. 'James! _Would I lie James? Would I lie to you? I saw it! I saw his filthy mark and I listened as he confessed to his filthy sins! Now sit down!'_

He didn't know why he was so angry, but he couldn't stand their disbelief. Because it made him feel so bad for spoiling the Marauders.

'You saw it Sirius?' asked Dumbledore curiously. Both men turned to look at him, having gotten caught up in their heat and anger.

'I saw him yesterday—'

'You've been _lying_ to us Sirius!' James shouted indignantly.

Sirius sat down silently and faced the Headmaster. 'I saw him yesterday. I was very angry with him, and I hurt him. I was close to killing him. I used Unforgiveables too. I told him to confess, and he did. He told me of how he's been informing Malfoy and my cousin Bellatrix of what our plans were in this war for over a year. I forced him to show me the mark and then when I looked away for barely a moment he escaped.'

Lies. He was lying. But everyone was too consumed in their shock to notice. And Sirius was a very good liar. Besides, he mixed in the lie with the truth. Barely detectable.

'You used an Unforgiveable on Peter?' James whispered in horror, sitting down slowly. 'How could you?' he breathed, his eyes watering.

'D'you think it was easy for me? D'you think I enjoyed it James?' asked Sirius, impatiently. He was not in the mood for a conversation like this in front of all their friends and Professors.

'Did you let him explain—?'

'WHAT WAS THERE TO EXPLAIN?' roared Sirius, jumping up once again. James stood up too but in a more dignified manner. 'WHEN I SEE HIM AGAIN, I'LL FUCKING KILL HIM! AND THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT JAMES! STOP MAKING EVERYTHING SO COMPLICATED! HE _BETRAYED US_ AND YOUR PITIFUL EXCUSES WON'T HELP HIM WHERE HE'S GOING!'

Sirius was surprised at how angry he could sound about Peter. In truth these thoughts were in his mind, and he was debating whether to tell them where Peter was right now. But the thoughts from yesterday night when he helped Peter remained too. And it was like a war in his mind; like a war between hungry Hippogriffs for a chunk of meat.

'You always stand up for him, but you can't now.' He said after breathing in deeply, in a quieter and more dangerous voice.

James took one look at Remus and then Lily. 'Fuck ... _fuck_.' He said softly before quickly slipping out of the room. Sirius looked around at all the shocked eyes that were either watching the door or him.

'Go and get him then,' Lily hissed angrily. He slipped out of the room like James, but more graceful and a little slower. All eyes were on him and even Dumbledore was shocked by both the news and the argument. Barely a few moments later everyone from inside heard shouting.

'Never pegged Black as an Unforgiveable type person initially, but he likes to use them on the battlefield, I've tried to tell him not to use them, but when they get us Death Eaters...' Moody grunted, looking towards where the shouting was coming from. 'But Pettigrew was his friend... Are you sure it's Pettigrew Dumbledore? That boy doesn't even look fit enough to wave a wand, let alone stay undetected for over a _year?_'

'Sirius gave proof that it was Peter, all we have to do now is find the young man. I'm sure he's just hiding somewhere in London where he thinks we can't find him.'

'Are you sure though Albus? Peter Pettigrew?' Professor McGonagall gave a short and humourless laugh. 'They boy hasn't got a brave or evil bone in his body!'

Dumbledore nodded and turned from the door to face everyone on the table. 'Sirius wouldn't lie about something this important. He's telling the truth, all the clues add up. It's just a matter of whether the clues are a false trail or Peter really has betrayed us—'

'JAMES, DON'T BRING MY BROTHER INTO THIS!'

'BUT IT'S TRUE! YOU'RE TREATING THIS AS THOUGH PETER WERE REGULUS, AS THOUGH HE DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU! TEN FUCKING YEARS OF FRIENDSHIP—'

'Are you actually fucking comparing Regulus to Peter? My _brother? _My brother who's been my brother for nineteen years? I think it's safe to say who meant more to me. And now one is rotting in the ground whilst the other is hiding God knows where. So don't patronise me Jamie and don't you dare assume I didn't love my brother, otherwise I would never have been motivated in becoming an Auror. This was all for him, you _know_ it was all for him.'

There was a painful silence in which all eyes flickered to the door once more; even though they were trying to pay attention to what Dumbledore was saying.

'H-how?' stuttered James. 'I thought we were his friends?'

'Peter's always thought of himself first. How many pranks did we 'fess up to completely because he was too cowardly to admit he took part in it?'

'Loads.'

'So ask yourself this Jamie, who do you trust more? Peter... or me?'

They could all hear a groan. 'Do you even need to ask?'

'Then how could I be lying? I saw it, I _felt_ it! The Dark Mark was tattooed into his skin.'

There was the sound of footsteps, loud and resonant. 'Look ...' Sirius started, but then he seemed to think against it because abruptly, he said, 'Fuck ... wanna go for a fag?' It was probably his way of apologising for getting angry and keeping the truth from James.

'Yeah, why not,' James replied. It was probably his way of saying sorry for his attitude and getting angry so quickly; so easily.

And they could hear footsteps getting quieter. Lily hopped up and handed Remus her son as she hurried out of the room.

'Where do you think you're going?' she screeched at them, her voice carrying to the meeting, both men with cigarettes in their hands and their wands perched near, ready to light it.

'I'm having—'

'No you're not James, now give it to me and get the hell back in that dining room! We've drawn out the meeting long enough without you guys disappearing!' She waved her wand and the cigarettes disappeared.

'Bitch,' James mumbled under his breath.

In the end the meeting lasted much longer than it was supposed to. Dumbledore asked Sirius to explain in more detail what happened, and he did. He talked for what felt like hours, answering every question the other Order members asked.

Finally Moody discussed the tactics they'd use in looking for and capturing Peter. If they handed him over to the Ministry he would receive the Dementor's Kiss. But they couldn't hand him over because technically the Order of the Phoenix wasn't an official legitimate organisation, only Law Enforcement completely knew about them. So instead they were going to lie to the Ministry and get him a life sentence in Azkaban for some offence or whatever.

At the end of the meeting Sirius spoke to Dumbledore who asked further questions, like if he'd received another visit from the future Sirius. He told him truthfully no, and then he asked Dumbledore if he could be excused.

'Oh, and Sirius, here you go,' the man said before Sirius could run off. Being in Dumbledore's presence made him feel nervous, and he was worried the old man would sense something was wrong. It was a letter written in the Headmaster's hand. 'It's clear instructions on how to execute the Fidelius Charm.'

Sirius thanked him and took it. He wandered over to Remus who was idly chatting to Frank and Alice.

'Hello guys,' he said glumly.

'That was quite a show you guys gave us,' joked Alice, ruffling Sirius's hair. He shrugged. He hadn't meant to get so angry but he felt rather protective of his brother and his friends. Like two conflicting parts of his personality.

'It was unintentional, believe me. Have you seen Moody?'

'He's telling those who are searching through Peter's home their instructions.' Frank told him. He nodded at them and ambled off out of the dining room, looking for Moody. He could hear voices and found who he was looking for.

'Moody?' he asked rather tentatively, contrasting with his usually confident voice. Moody looked up and a scary smile flickered across his face. The man excused himself and limped towards Sirius. They walked down into a room that was deserted.

'I guess this is it.' Sirius said sadly.

Moody raised an eyebrow. 'It's tonight isn't it?' His voice was grave.

Sirius nodded. 'I just wanted you to know I'll be in Ireland, and I'll send you letters. Perhaps you could give Remus some of them?'

'Of course,' came the gruff reply.

'I'll be back you know.' His voice was braver than he actually felt. But the closer the time came, the more worried he grew.

'If anyone could come back I'd be you,' said Moody.

Sirius could feel his eyes water but he blinked at it cleared. 'Thanks Moody,' and before he knew what he was doing he threw his arm around the short man and gave him a masculine, rough one-armed hug. After a few seconds his mentor pushed him away with a laugh.

'Gerrof me you pansy,' he chuckled and Sirius winked at him.

'Shut up Moody.' Then he hurried off outside. He was getting very anxious, very quickly. There was no way he regretted becoming the secret keeper for the Potters. But he was so scared and his hands were trembling.

More than once he almost burnt himself as he lit his cigarette. He inhaled and kept it inside, enjoying the smoke in his system and the tickle in his throat. He looked up when he heard footsteps and thought to hide the cigarette from Lily or McGonagall. However it was neither of them; but instead Remus.

Sirius breathed out in relief and smiled gently at his friend. Above the stars were twinkling like diamonds on velvet and the sky was a dark indigo. His smoke rose and dissolved wistfully in the sky. He leant back against the stone wall as he waited for Remus to come and stand besides him. His friend did just that.

'I can't believe you didn't tell us,' Remus muttered glumly, accepting a fag and lighting it with a click of his fingers. Remus was a social smoker, unlike Sirius and James who chain smoked whenever they were anxious or nervous or angry. It was a horrid habit Lily often told them and Sirius had to agree. But he had too much on his mind to pay any heed to her bullshit. Not that she wasn't worth a thought, she was worth his life.

'I'm sorry.' Sirius said honestly.

'Only I'm glad you let him escape,' Remus replied, puffing smoke into the air and watching it rise and softly disappear. He cleared his throat and swallowed, licking his lips.

Sirius slowly turned to meet his gaze. He considered lying and then thought better of it. Remus would never swallow his lies; he was hard too hard to lie to. Instead he slowly nodded.

'I did hurt him, I hurt him so bad.' Sirius whispered, catching a stray tear and brushing it off his cheekbone impatiently. 'D'you remember Regulus? D'you remember how he was when he became a Death Eater? And I cornered him and got him to tell me why. He said he was scared... Peter said he was scared when I asked him the same question.'

He looked away from his friend and quickly wiped his face. He couldn't bear to remember the bad times, but then again he was approaching a time that was only getting worse.

'It's good that you showed him compassion, it shows you _are compassionate._ It's what sets you apart from your family, from the Death Eaters and Lord Voldemort. Why would anyone want to kill someone like a brother to them?'

'It's my job; it's what I'm paid for.'

Remus shook his head and grabbed Sirius's arm passionately. 'Your job is to kill the bad, not the foolish and desperate. Peter was cowardly and scared but he was never bad, he _isn't _bad.' His voice was quiet and hard but it was still comforting.

The dark haired Black buried his face in his hands after throwing his cigarette on the floor. 'You cannot tell anyone Remus, I'll get in so much trouble,' he whispered in such a frightened voice.

'You have more important things to be worrying about than Dumbledore's wrath. You need to have fun whilst you can. Us Marauders, together.'

'Peter's not really part of us anymore, is he?' Sirius whispered. Remus replied with a gentle shake of his head and a shrug. 'Than I should get the rat tattooed on my back removed.' He said angrily. He stomped on the fag sizzling on the ground and stomped off. 'I'll probably be in the pub!' he shouted over his shoulder.

Then he looked around to make sure no one could see him and transformed, bounding off through the enormous field to the closest pub. He felt a charm hit him though, and when he opened his eyes he was looking through his human ones. He was also sprawled rather painfully on the ground.

Furiously, he jumped up and looked around for James. 'You can't keep doing that James; I could have hurt myself.'

'I'm sorry; I just thought maybe you'd want someone to keep you company.' His friend said, emerging from the shadows and throwing an arm over Sirius's shoulder. 'I don't want you to be alone.'

'What, you think between now and eleven o'clock, I'll get myself killed or something and you won't have a secret keeper anymore?' Sirius's voice was more bitter than he intended.

James withdrew his arm like he had been burned. 'No,' his hurt voice replied. And his eyes sparkled in the dark. 'No, h-how could you even think that? I don't care about your wellbeing for my family; I care about your wellbeing because you _are_ my family.'

Sirius stubbornly stuffed his hands in his pockets. He looked away glumly from James. 'You're still mad at me aren't you?'

'In all honesty I was worried _you_ were mad at me,' James answered, stuffing his hands back in his pockets and looking over to the tall house. 'This is our last night together, will you just grow up and stop being so ... so angry. It's hurting me.'

'Of course, I should go out of my way to protect James Potter's feelings.'

James's face screwed up and he lifted his head defiantly. 'Why're you being so unpleasant? Is it the Worm— the Peter thing?'

'It's every fucking thing James! It's everything mate! Just leave me alone for a bit—'

James growled impatiently, 'Sirius—'

'I'll be at your house to perform the charm at eleven on the dot, now just leave me alone.' And he transformed, hurrying forward and bounding off into the distance. Fuck getting drunk; it was no where near enough.

No, he was going to write the letter he had always wanted to write Taten, he was going to confess how he still loved her, how he was still mad about her. And maybe if he ever survived this, he'd be with her. Of course there was still the possibility that she had moved on, that she had found another man and was deeply in love with him. Perhaps she had forgotten him? Maybe she was already married; he wouldn't put it past her. She was a dumb bitch.

Sirius shook his head at the impossibility of her finding someone else. She had promised him her heart was his ... he was sure her heart belonged to him.

And he, ten minutes later, found himself in the cover of bushes and trees. Perhaps it was the Peter problem that set the tears off, or maybe it was the idea that in a few hours he was going to give his life away to the people he loved. He didn't know what set the waterworks off but he cried wholeheartedly, his groans ripping through the air. This was harder than he had thought it would be.

He didn't mean to be so horrid to James; his friend was just as sad and just as worried about the whole predicament as he was! It was just the anger and the shock of how quick his life was most probably coming its close. Regardless, he knew that he owed them more. He would apologise to them for being an insufferable arse.

But right now, all he wanted to do was write that dear letter. Sirius waved his wand and conjured from his home a blank piece of parchment and a quill. Leaning on the thick envelope Dumbledore gave him, he began to write.

_My Beautiful Rose,_

_I know it's been quite a while, and I hope you don't think less of me for this sappy and heartfelt letter I'm about to write you, but I miss you. I miss you so much it hurts Rose, it really hurts. But I need to get over it, you're not coming back. I won't be coming back too. I've got a mission that needs doing, a mission that will be the end of me, probably. Think of this as a love letter, a last letter; regardless, I want to write my_ last_ letter to you._

_I haven't had a girlfriend since you, a few flings that didn't even last a week but flings nonetheless. They were meaningless of course. It was all about the sex and I feel guilty now I'm speaking to you but whether or not my making 'love' with all those other women upsets you, please feel honoured that even now after almost a year of separation I still think of you when I'm with them. If I close my eyes I can see back to our Valentine's weekend in Paris. The weekend where we kissed and we made real love, where we laughed and went sightseeing. You were just as beautiful as Paris. The city of love._

_Do you still love me Rose? I still love you. I apologise if this letter ... this love letter is confusing you, if there's someone else who owns your heart. Just remember it was mine first. And before me, it was James's. On the plus side you'll have someone to treat you right, but to be honest I always treated you right. It was your fault we ended, your fault we never worked out. Hopefully, if we are ever reunited, you've grown up a little. Ignore me; I'm drunk off of self-pity and I'm in a foul mood. I've just had two arguments with James in a row, and even you know that's quite the record for us star-crossed lovers. He'll forgive me, he needs to. I'm the reason he's going to survive; I need some sort of recognition of that._

_Rosie, tell me everything's good? Tell me that everything is perfect in Australia? How's your Mother, Charlotte? I've missed our banter and admiring her beautiful body from afar very much; it still shocks me she's barely sixteen years older than me. Her illness isn't getting better is it? I'm never going to read your reply; I'll probably be gone when it comes. Knowing your late replies and how awfully far Australia is I wouldn't expect an answering letter in less than two weeks. But by then I'll be gone._

_Rose I really do hope you've found the answers you were searching for. I know you didn't go to Australia to look for answers, but it was one of the pitiful excuses you gave me. Everything here has been going fine by the way. James and Lily are still together, and Harry is as healthy and adorable as he was when you last saw him – that one time you saw him. Remus has gotten the dream job he has always wanted, and he's already the head of a department. I can't remember what it's called right now but when I do, you'll be the first to know ... I'm so proud of him, he always had a bright future and it's almost relieving to know that I'm leaving him in a good spot. As for Peter ... well let's just say he hasn't been with us mentally and emotionally for quite a while. He betrayed us, but I forgave him. Make sure you don't tell anyone of my mercy though; otherwise I might have to locate him kill him. And believe me, I was considering it. But my compassion for him got the better of me._

_I haven't spoken to the family for quite a bit, but believe me, who would want too? I heard Mother is faring horribly without Father and Regulus. To be frank I hope she dies soon, it is nothing less than she deserves. And I'll get all her money when she snuffs it. In case you haven't heard, though Australia should be broadcasting our nasty situation, we're losing the war. Right now, we've had twenty per cent more casualties than the Death Eaters and Voldemort. I'm scared of course, but at least my three friends will survive. If you ever need them, or if you ever need help, go to Remus. He'll take care of you. He's a good friend._

_Well Rose Taten, I've babbled on for long enough. I think its just jitters; I am mere hours from performing the charm that will change my life. For the worse of course ... Most charms are always for the worse. Like your charm, and your kisses and your hugs and your love. But it doesn't really matter now does it, I'm telling you I still love you and I hope to see you soon. I know I won't see you soon, but wishing have never hurt anyone._

_I miss you, I love you,_

_Yours forever and always,_

_Sirius Black_

_xo_

Sirius looked down at the small and narrow writing; betraying every thought that had been running through his head for the best part of half an hour. He kissed the spot where he had written '_My Beautiful Rose'_ and smiled softly at it. Then Sirius conjured a ribbon and then tied it around the rolled up parchment. Without a thought he apparated to where his motorbike was, and waving his wand the invisibility charm was lifted and his shimmering glossy bike glistened into sight.

Sirius was about to get on when he heard someone from behind clear their throat.

'You weren't going to leave without saying goodbye, were you?' Remus's quite and sad voice asked.

Sirius looked behind him and gave his dear friend a watery smile. 'I'm sorry, I must have forgotten.'

Remus cocked his head to the rolled parchment and raised an eyebrow. 'What's that?'

'A letter, a letter you need to promise me you'll send.' He suddenly said, shoving it towards his tawny-blond haired friend. Remus took it and looked, but there was no name.

'Who is it for?' Did he really need to ask? Sirius had been with many girls in his life, and it could have been any of them. But he knew. He just knew.

'Rose.'

Before any of them knew what they were doing, they had thrown their arms around each other with such ferventness and passion it almost hurt. 'Promise me you'll hide—'

'I've got a place in Ireland, it'll last a while.'

'A while? Sirius please!' Remus growled angrily. He drew back and furiously stared his friend in the eye. 'This isn't a joke, take care of yourself. For me and Lily and James...'

'As best I can, I'll protect myself. But in the end it's the secret that matters most, right?' His eyes were teary and he ignored the lone tear that dribbled down his pale face. He closed his eyes and felt the tickle of his eyelashes across his cheekbones.

'It's you that matters most.' Remus whispered sympathetically, hugging his friend again. 'I always knew you loved danger, but not quite so literally... stay safe, please.'

Sirius nodded into his friend's shoulder and then sniffed and laughed. 'We're such a bunch of pansies! I'll be fine Remus, no one ever stays fine but I will for as long as I can.'

Remus dropped his arms and nibbled on his lip. 'He'll look for you, you know; as hard as he can. He cares more about Harry than he does about winning this war.'

'I'll die before I tell him. And we all know that me dying will keep the secret safe, in one way or another.'

Remus looked up into the stars, and he could see the brightest, the namesake of his friend of course, almost alone. Away from all the other clusters of stars. It hurt Remus.

He gave Sirius one last hug. 'I love you Pads,' he said softly, ruffling his friend's hair.

Sirius laughed softly and smiled a true smile, embracing Remus again. 'I love you more,' he said softly, ruffling the golden brown halo of hair hard. They kindly nodded to each other before Sirius hoped on his bike.

'Oh, Remus?' He suddenly remembered something he needed to say.

'Hmm?'

'I can't tell you exactly where Lily and James are staying, but remember, Godric's Hollow, for the life of Merlin, remember Godric's Hollow!'

With a hard kick and a few changes of gears and presses of buttons, he was sailing through the air like a peregrine falcon; fast and silent. It was an hour of hushed and daunting driving. The clouds hid from Sirius, but the cold charged at him. He shivered more than once; probably a thousand times. When his teeth were chattering he ignored his discomfort and raged forward.

He felt like he was driving the bike to Voldemort himself. And in all honesty, he was. But he loved the thought of protecting his friends. And he knew he was only bitter because of today. He respected his friends, and frankly three lives were more valuable than his own lone life.

Sirius could pick out Godric's Hollow from space. It was proud and surrounded by wild life. It took him a while to find the small house James had informed him of earlier. But after twenty minutes of driving around he found it near a graveyard and a small, old church. He parked the bike, made it invisible and then breathed in deeply as he walked faster towards the small house.

Number Seven, Godric's Hollow. Sirius knocked loudly. It was five to eleven. He was early. Seconds of waiting that felt like hours and the door finally swung open.

James Potter smiled at him and gently, Sirius Black smiled back.


	8. A Wild Goose Chase

_Disclaimer; I don't own anything but the OCs and the plot, thanks. _

* * *

><p><em>xoxo <em>

_8. A Wild Goose Chase_

_~ Two Weeks Later ~_

Sirius gasped for breath, his knees quaking and his body trembling with fear. How had he gotten into this mess? He almost growled. The black car he was hiding behind wasn't going to help him for long, he had barely managed to escape from the Death Eaters. There were too many of them.

There had been nine of them. It was almost touching Voldemort had sent nine to capture him; almost like the Dark Lord saw him as a threat. He _was_ a threat in all honesty and he knew it, but whereas he flaunted his good looks he wished he hadn't showed off his talent so much and kept a low profile. Maybe Voldemort would have sent three or four after him, and he was positive he could escape capture. He probably wouldn't be able to beat all three to four Death Eaters, but he would no doubt get away.

Nine, however, _nine!_ He was a dead man walking.

Sirius had been running five blocks on his long muscular legs at his fastest speed, which was incredibly swift. He struggled for breath and sunk down on his knees, sucking in the oxygen hungrily; greedily. Sirius closed his eyes and tried to think of the night he signed his death warrant. The night he saved his friends.

_x_

James smiled at him, and he hesitantly smiled back.

This was what Sirius adored about the Marauders. They could call each other names, swear and lie to each other but it was so easy to forgive and be forgiven. He wiped his feet on the welcome mat just under the doorstep and walked into the house. There were boxes cluttering the narrow hallway, some half opened and others lazily unpacked. He could hear the door behind him shut quickly.

Sirius turned to face James and almost impulsively, he hugged his friend. 'I'm sorry,' he said quietly, the truth behind his words profoundly sincere.

James patted his back comfortingly. 'I'm sorry too Paddy. I should ... I should've been more understanding, more thoughtful.'

Together and with James's arm thrown around his shoulder, they walked through the small house, the bespectacled Marauder giving him a tour and adding comments like, 'Its only two rooms, but the garden's nice and big,' or 'It's quite cosy isn't it?'

Sirius loved the home though; it was exactly what James and Lily as _individuals_ stood for. The Potter home radiated wealth and power but this small cottage buried deep in Godric's Hollow was perfect for them.

'I like it—'

'Sirius!' Lily shrieked, running down the stairs and embracing him fiercely, kissing both of his cheeks. She had a towel wrapped around her wet dark red hair and a very pale face. She seemed to be trembling. James threw an arm around her and nuzzled her neck whispering sweet nothings. Sirius's heart hurt at the thought of Rose with someone else like this.

The bags under Lily's eyes revealed the insomnia she had been experiencing for weeks now, and her wavering smile exposed the sadness she was feeling. The worry she was feeling. He wanted to hug her too.

'So, where should we do this?'

'Sirius!' Lily cried indignantly. She glared at him. An angry and frustrated glare, with a hint of disbelief. 'You are _not_ some guy we've never met who we need to protect us! You're our _brother_ who we love and we thank for doing this. You're our _friend_ who lives wherever we live, who we need more than anyone! You can't come in here and ask where you need to perform the spell. I'm making you your favourite dinner now, and you'll go in the living room and chat to James about silly things like Quidditch and how many girls you've slept with the past few weeks and it'll be like this isn't happening ... even though it is.'

Her towel had come off during her anger and big pink splotches splattered themselves around her face. Seeing Sirius shocked her expression softened. 'Sirius, you're supposed to act normal.'

He bent down (Lily was quite short, a head shorter than him at _least_) and kissed her forehead. 'I'm sorry Lily,' he replied. Then he plastered a fake smile on his face. 'Sheppard's Pie for dinner then sis!'

She ushered them towards the living room and Sirius sat down on one of the familiar sofas from the Potter Manor.

'She's been upset you know, the nearer this day came.' James said quietly, scratching his forearm unnecessarily and watching Harry who was crawling around the room in a fit of excitement. It was like Harry could sense the importance of a day like this.

'She really cares for you, try and be sensitive. You know how women can get.' Usually a comment like this would have cracked a smile for either of them, but for once the Marauders were sombre. This was changing things that they didn't want changed because of the war. It was snuffing the laughter out of them; like they were mice. It was carving permanent frowns into their faces; like the war was a sculptor and they were its clay.

When would the war end? In a year? Ten? Fifty? Would the Marauders ever just be Marauders again; carefree, wild and fun.

James didn't know, and Sirius certainly didn't know. 'Did you say goodbye to Remy?' he asked.

The bespectacled man nodded. 'I feel like I've lost part of my manhood. Who cries when they say goodbye?'

Sirius actually chuckled, and it was like giving life to the dead. 'It's necessary. We Marauders are reaching a point where even friendship can't reach. I wish him the best of luck though. He'll be alone without us, without anyone there for him on the full moon. Without anyone to protect him. And it makes me sad.'

'I could always—'

Sirius slowly shook his head. 'No James, you need to stay right here. I can't have you risking your life. Besides, Remus was talking about that potion that'll help him in full moons. Maybe in the next few months it'd be finished.'

False hope of course was necessary in situations like this. James accepted the bait and nodded jerkily. 'I know Seers, I know.'

They sat back in the soft fabric of the sofa and watched as Harry crawled around the room, touching things and tasting them. The silence was comfortable, and Sirius couldn't have wished for a better way to spend it. The silence spoke to him, comforting him. Was it weird that the closer they got to performing the Fidelius Charm the calmer Sirius became?

After about thirty minutes of lazy, wistful banter they could smell the delicious Sheppard's Pie. The aroma wafted into the room and even Harry looked up. Unfortunately, he was still on a diet of milk. Though James gave him small pieces of chocolate occasionally, and crisps and all the other things Lily told him not to give Harry. Once, he'd even poured a little Brutus's beer into Harry's milk so the boy would fall asleep quicker. Harry was out like a light for hours.

'Oh God I've missed her Sheppard's Pies! She never makes them anymore...' James bent down and lifted Harry in his arms easily, twirling the boy around and nuzzling his cheek. 'Harry.'

'Prog,' the boy wheezed. Harry looked almost identical to James, save the startling emerald green eyes and the smaller nose. His hair was incorrigible and messy, which in fact heightened the small boy's adorableness.

James glared at Sirius. It seemed like months ago, but when Harry had finally managed to say 'Da', Sirius had reprogrammed him to say 'Prongs' instead. However Harry, like most one year olds who had parents nicknamed Prongs (okay, so he was probably the only one year old with a dad called Prongs), had much trouble saying the word and simplified it to 'Prog'.

Sirius barked a laugh and winked at the baby. 'Say dada Harry, say it, come on,' he said, grinning.

Both men started cooing and encouraging the boy, repeating again and again "da" until it grew tiresome to their own ears.

A look of utter concentration flickered across Harry's face. He stammered for a bit and finally managed to spit out, 'Dog!'

Perhaps the hardest he had laughed in weeks, Sirius fell onto the floor on his knees, banging the carpet and howling with laughter. A mixture of Dada and Prog. Brilliant!

James however, did not find the nickname brilliant, or amusing. He bared his teeth at Sirius and snatched his son from the floor, furiously looking the small boy in the eyes.

'No, _no!_ I'm not a dog! He's the fucking dog—dammit Padfoot! You're such a fucking arse! I preferred Prog ... I'm Prog you stupid fucking baby, come on Harry, I'm Prog, not dog! Harry!'

'Dog!' Harry started chanting ecstatically, thrilled with the reaction he'd received from Sirius. James narrowed his eyes angrily at Sirius.

'Look what you've done you damn mutt. He's gonna say that forever now,' James groaned, looking at his son who was still chanting passionately. James started shaking his head and muttering over and over, 'I'm _Prog_ Harry, P_rog!_'

Sirius stood up wiping the tears of mirth from his face and drifted to the kitchen. He thought he'd explode if he heard Prog once more.

It was very easy to find the kitchen because the house was so small. He found Lily stirring something in a pot with the towel draped over her shoulders, and singing softly under her breath. When she looked up he smiled at her.

'I love your Sheppard's Pie. It tastes just like Aunt Dory's.'

Lily smiled at him and wiped her hands on her flowery apron. 'She was the one who taught me how to make it. "This is just how James and the others love it dear, so be sure to put quite a bit of spice in it!"'

Sirius laughed and thought back to the first time he tasted Dorea's glorious Sheppard's Pie. 'Thank you Lily,' he said softly.

Lily looked up at him with an expression of amazement. 'What on earth for?'

'For making me happy and acting like everything's normal...'

'Oh Sirius, it's I who owes you, for everything. You're saving my _family_. Making your favourite meal is the least I can do!'

'Still, I thank the Lord I found a family much better than my own. I've never had a sister Lily, nor brothers like James and Remus ... and Peter.'

Lily looked up from the pot with a deep frown carved in her face. She started shaking her head. 'I ... I can't believe it Sirius, I just can't.' She whispered. 'Did he really?' the question was left lingering in the air and Sirius sat down at the small table. He nodded slowly.

'And you ... you cast an Unforgivable on him? Why would you do that?'

Sirius scratched his forearm and avoided looking in her eyes. 'Have you ever been so angry that you just feel like ... like exploding? Like crying and screaming? I thought it was you who always said my anger has a mind of its own. I've never realised the truth of that until now. I regret it naturally, perhaps if I reined my anger he wouldn't have gotten away.'

_Compassion meant he had a heart; compassion was something the dark lacked. Something that would, in the end, lose the dark their war. Right?_

'Sirius, everything you do is out of love. Don't forget that. Don't let this ruin you, otherwise Lord Voldemort will have won.' She said hoarsely; in a deep and dark voice. 'Don't let him catch you and make you what he wants. Because whether or not we win the war, me and James and Remus, we will have lost you. And that's worse Sirius. That's so much more worse.'

The Sheppard's Pie was perhaps the best thing Sirius had eaten in a while. His stomach was filled and he was belching like a teenager again, having a competition with James which left Harry squealing ecstatically and clapping wildly.

In the end James won, but only because Sirius burst out laughing half way through a burp due to the squeals of 'DOG!' from Harry. The boy was so damn stubborn and clever; he'd probably call James 'Dog' for the next few months.

James refilled Sirius's glass bottle (they were drinking very old and precious wine from the nineteenth century) and then drank the small bit left from the bottle which had Lily scowling at him.

'You're so damn disgusting,' she groaned. James cuddled up to her, rubbing his wet and sloppy lips all over her cheek and neck, and she begged for him to stop in between her fits of laughter. James gave her one last long and loving kiss on her lips and then looked down angrily at his son.

'You know what your son's been taught by that damn mutt?'

Lily rolled her eyes and chuckled, as though ready for the long and elaborate story her husband was going to create. 'What James?' She sighed.

'The reason this little fucker—'

'JAMES!' she cried, slapping her husband hard on the head, causing his glasses to slam off his face. After a hard struggled to find them, since they camouflaged pretty well into the carpet, he put them on his face and glowered at his wife.

'I'm sorry Lily,' he hissed sarcastically, rubbing his head hard. 'I meant the reason this little _angel_ is calling me "Dog" is because _that_ little fucker taught him so!'

And even Lily couldn't hold back the laugh, and they all heartedly chuckled with James.

Lily was almost reluctant to open the envelope of instructions that Dumbledore had written, but she was best at Charms (only by a small margin) and it was best if she explained how it was done. It was after all a set of steps of how to cast a Fidelius Charm; and none of them knew. Dumbledore couldn't be in the presence of the casting anyway.

It was a hard charm to perform, and Sirius felt like casting it was almost as though a machine was sucking all the magic inside him to perform the charm.

He felt exhausted after only a few minutes, but he was determined. He thought of the best memories in his life; with James and the Marauders. He thought of being the best man at their wedding and having a short drunken dance with Lily before James pushed him away and whisked her into the middle of the dance floor.

He thought of the day Lily gave birth and squeezed Remus and Sirius's hands tightly, and Peter dabbed her forehead with a towel whilst James stood behind the healer in between her legs. He thought of the day they named him godfather.

It was so hard though, the charm was testing him. It flashed images of fights and arguments he had had with James or Lily. All he could see was white suddenly, and a great pain in his knees. Distantly, he could hear Lily crying out and things break.

He furiously looked through the white, only to have more upsetting images thrown at him. _James dead. Lily missing. Harry kidnapped. James fighting ten Death Eaters even though he knew he was going to lose. Lily being dragged by the hair. The dragger – Bellatrix Lestrange._

Sirius gasped when he finally looked up. He could feel something flowing through him; something soft and gentle and very warm. The gold light inside him was barely visible from the outside but he could see it running like a stream through him; until it rested in his heart.

He looked up at Lily and James, sitting on the floor metres apart and sporting injuries (they had obviously fallen over during the memories) with eyes as wide as saucepans.

'The secret's inside you now,'

He wasn't sure who said it but he frowned softly.

It was best that Sirius left quickly now the spell was complete. Even though James and Lily kept saying they would see him soon, and that they loved him, everyone knew he probably was not going to come back and his stubborn acceptance of that was what hurt most.

He stood at the door, holding a sleeping Harry and nuzzled the boy's neck. 'This is for you,' he breathed quietly. He handed Harry over to Lily silently.

It was awkward, standing there with his hands in his pockets and not a clue what to say. Lily of course said the first thing. 'Please stay safe,' she pleaded, rocking the baby. Her voice broke and tears spilled onto her rosy cheeks. James wiped them away for her.

'I will,' Sirius vowed solemnly. He couldn't imagine wanting to get caught. All he could think of though was Malfoy in his arms sporting a few injuries. And dead of course.

Lily shuffled closer and took his hand in her only available one. 'Thank you Sirius, thank you so much. If it's possible ... wouldn't you be able to come over in a few days?'

He shrugged. 'I don't think so, they might be tracking me.' But at her forlorn expression he reluctantly nodded. 'I guess I could try.'

In answer, Lily squealed, forgetting about the little baby nestled under her arm, and embraced Sirius passionately. Harry started crying and when she rocked him gently, he only got louder. 'I'll take him upstairs?' she asked before nodding, touching James's hand on her way to the stairs and smiling at Sirius. 'Take care Sirius ... I love you,' she said over Harry's cries.

Sirius smiled stiffly at her, the pain inside him seizing every part of his body now. It was over, he was going to die. 'I love you too Lily.'

They could hear her footsteps getting quieter and Harry's cries fading. Sirius looked down at his feet, putting his hands back in his pockets. 'The charm was testing me...'

James looked away from his own feet to meet his friend's steely silver gaze after a moment. 'What did you see?'

'I think it was seeing what _I _would do in some situations. I think it accepted me. Truly accepted me. I mean regardless or not if I was a loyal person, the charm is less powerful than us. B-but it was like the charm knew I would rather die than give you guys up.'

James shuffled closer to Sirius and put a hand on his friend's shoulder. 'That's because you are perhaps the most faithful friend I have.'

'I'm scared James,' he admitted with teary eyes. James could always read him like a book.

James's eyes started to water a little too and he shook his head, bringing his friend closer so they could share their last hug. 'I'm scared too.'

'Who would have ever guessed, a scared Marauder?' replied the handsome young man, giving a watery chuckle. 'And who would have ever believed we were hugging and crying like a bunch of pansies?'

'The only pansy here is you,' James hissed back, releasing his friend. 'I'd ask you to stay safe but I know you better than you know yourself sometimes, and I'm scared for you. The day we go missing Sirius... the day they notice we're all gone they'll come running after you!'

'Would it be good for your conscience if I said I'll try hard to stay safe?'

James shook his head. 'No, because I know you'll still get caught.'

'Have faith,' pleaded Sirius. 'Have faith I can stay undetected for a few weeks.'

'I have faith in your skills and instincts but not _you. _The only person I trust to take care of your own life is either myself or Moony.'

Sirius laughed sarcastically and bitterly. 'Thanks for your love Jamie,' Sirius said, hugging his friend once more. Just once more. But he was afraid if he hugged him he wouldn't be able to let go. 'I want you to stay hidden though; it wouldn't do well to lose me but it'd be even worse if you rush out there to fight for my honour or something utterly romantic like that and lose yourself too.'

James sourly chuckled. It wasn't really the time for such antics but only they could ever find humour in such a situation. He pulled off a chain from around his neck; a very small and simple pendant with a stag and gently put it in the hands of Sirius.

'I want you to have this—' but when Padfoot started to object James shook his head. 'It's a good luck pendant. I wore it when Lily first agreed to go on a date with me, and when she agreed to marry me, and when Harry was born.'

'Then it obviously has value—'

'So do you. Take it, take everything and run okay? Get the fuck out of England and hide for me, please?' The pleading look in James's eyes was enough to melt Sirius's heart. He nodded slowly.

One last frantic and hard hug before he was standing outside. 'Prongs?'

'Hmmm?' he asked, watching from the doorstep.

'If Rose comes back, tell her I love her.'

James smiled softly to himself and nodded. 'Isn't this the part where you tell me how much you love me?'

Sirius chuckled, walking backwards up to the gate. 'I love you Prongs,'

'You too Pads, I love you too.'

Then he was gone.

_o_

Still on his knees perched behind the car, he looked around. The flat he had temporarily moved into had now been discovered. Where would he go? And with what money? He didn't have anything on him, and he wasn't going all the way to Gringotts to get a few thousand galleons. There were banks in Ireland of course, but was he really just going to open a new one?

No of course he wasn't. He was going to battle with the Death Eaters, get back to his small flat in Cork, pack everything and get the fuck out of there.

Twenty more seconds of sucking in air and finally he could hear running and spells colliding with bins or cars. He could hear bellowed orders being given. Sirius had never felt so scared. He was surely going to be captured. Dear God was he scared. His whole body was vibrating. But he had to stay positive.

_POSITIVE ATTITUDE! – _Moody's favourite principle.

Sirius edged around the car and could see only three Death Eaters. One was Avery; another Slytherin he had personal issues with that desperately needed to be resolved.

The Death Eaters had obviously split up to try and locate him. In groups of three or four. _This was how he wanted it! _He could have punched the air in his excitement. This was a battle he could win, a battle he was confident in.

Sirius watched cautiously as maybe fifty metres away the Death Eaters were casting hard and sharp spells at the cars and anything else Sirius could be hiding behind. He breathed in deeply and sunk into his battle-mode.

Crouching in a defensive stance and raising his chin, he hollered the first spell which, faster than lightning, shot right at an unknown blond Death Eater who tumbled head first into a car with a cry of pain. Sirius's reflexes were always a step of two ahead of those around him – maybe that was why he was so good at duelling. He moved just a fraction as a spell whizzed past him, narrowly missing his ear. He heard the almighty crash as it colliding with a rubbish bin.

Sirius swished his wand passionately and mumbled something. An enormous shield engulfed him and all the spells started bouncing from it.

Then Sirius brought his wand into his centre and with a cry pushed all the magic he had out of him. One of the Death Eaters (was it a Lestrange cousin?) was thrown so far his cry faded into the air. The only one left to battle was Avery. Ironic really. This bitch was perhaps one of the only Slytherins he had liked back when he was a boy. But Hogwarts had changed everything.

'Hello Avery,' he called, waving his wand and throwing a bin between them to block the spell shooting straight for him.

With a cry he threw a ring of fire that burnt Avery, who howled and conjured glass, sending it swirling to Sirius. He barely had time to flick the pieces aside, managing to get deep cuts on his hands, shoulders and one on his face. He cried out in pain, stumbling. A wave of red possessed Sirius as he furiously growled and sliced his black wand in the air, 'CORRIPIO!'

The curse ripped open Avery's robes and cut his arm so deeply blood pooled out. Avery dropped his wand and fell to his knees, clutching at the enormous gash. Sirius was sure that the white thing he could see was bone. Had he really cut that deep?

Ah well, the bastard deserved it. With a strong Stunning Charm, 'Stupefy!' and a hissed Memory Charm he removed Avery's recollections of what had just happened. Sirius then took the wand, pocketed it and proceeded to the first man he had defeated – a blond. He took the wand and checked to see if the wizard was breathing.

He was dead.

Who cared? Desperate times called for desperate measures. A spell hit Sirius in the back and he fell forward, his robes on fire. He looked behind him, ignoring the flames engulfing him and saw the Lestrange cousin running as fast as he could from Sirius.

Like looking through binoculars, Sirius squinted his eyes (he had great eyesight) and aimed his wand before whispering the most dangerous and painful spell he knew; Dark Magic. But he was barely ashamed of using Dark Magic, desperate times called for desperate measures after all!

'ADFLICTIO!'

The spell he had used was illegal but really, he didn't give a Hippogriff's arse! The bastard was probably going to be dead in an hour or two if no one went looking for him. Sirius suddenly jumped up, the pain of the flames hurting him so much he started shrieking. He pulled the robes off, until he was left in just his trousers, the bare flesh on his back throbbing and aching. It was November now, and he was so cold (which was probably good for the burns).

He took the wands he had put in his robe pocket out and was in the process of snapping one of them when he felt someone watching him. Slowly, Sirius looked up.

It was Snape.

Oh how he loathed Snape. He loathed the long-nosed man like he loathed Voldemort and his Mother and his Father. He should have felt scared or worried, for the man could have blown him to smithereens and he wouldn't be able to do anything about it. But he wasn't scared. For some strange reason Sirius had the idea that Snape wasn't going to hurt him.

Snape touched his index finger to his lips, signalling Sirius to be quiet. The handsome Black quickly brought down Avery's wand onto his knee and it snapped. He threw the two halves at the lifeless body besides him, never once looking away from Snape.

He did the same for the dead blond man and dropped the two halves onto the floor. Sirius crouched down and pulled the cloak off of Avery's shoulders, drooping it around his half naked body. Sharing a deep and dark look with Snape, Sirius nodded to him (the first sign of respect he had ever perhaps paid to Snivellus) and disapparated.

The last man stared at the spot the handsome Black had disappeared from and nodded. Perchance ... maybe ... possibly _this_ was his own way of paying respects? A way of thanking the arrogant Marauder for jumping in to save Lily Evans's life? He would forever be in Black's debt. And that was what infuriated him the most. True, the Potters couldn't have picked a less obvious secret keeper, but this now meant he owed Black for saving the woman he loved.

The woman he still loved. Severus dropped his head, and with a swish of his cloak, disapparated too.

_xo _

Sirius started coughing, as the old woman rubbed burn ointment onto his back. She was a little too erotic and slow, but he ignored her, and tried to ignore the pain! It was so hard though. The pain was consuming every thought of his. One more dab of the burning hot ointment and he could feel the burns start to cool.

'It'll take about two 'ours, but dere'll be no scars love,' she said, patting his back once for good measure and leaving the small hotel room he was in. Thank God. No scars, no _scars!_ He could have cried in relief. Sirius wasn't exactly vain, just cautious.

He couldn't get the image of Snape out of his mind. The man could have killed him; could have tied him up and dragged him kicking and screaming, black and blue, to Lord Voldemort. But he hadn't. Instead he just watched. Sirius didn't need to be psychic to know why.

_Snape still loved her._

It was almost endearing. The man was evil; oh yes he was. He agreed with Voldemort, and he believed in all the morals and ideas Death Eaters had, but he was prepared to risk death and all things leading up to it just to protect Lily. He smiled softly to himself.

An owl fluttered up to his open window, sticking its skinny leg out. But there was nothing there. He slowly got up and made his way over to her (he could tell it was a female), looking her up and down. There wasn't even a really small note. There was nothing. Perhaps it had slipped off?

Sirius stuck his head out of the window and looked left, right and down. There wasn't a letter left, nor right, nor down. But there were more than a dozen Death Eaters, this time looking more terrifying with their masks and swishing black cloaks.

'Hello cousin-in-law,' called Lucius Malfoy, smiling smugly. Sirius slowly withdrew his head back into the small hotel room. He breathed in deeply, trying very hard not to hyperventilate and cry. Did he have it in him to fight? After having burned his back? What had the woman said? Two hours.

These Death Eaters were not going to wait two hours. He stuck his head out of the window. He was probably going to be captured; there was a ninety percent chance. He could take five at most (if he aimed to knock out and not kill), but not thirteen. Never thirteen.

'Gimme a sec Malfoy, I'll be right down.'

He may as well _go_ down kicking and screaming, accompanied by his pride and his integrity. Sirius could hear the laughing from down below, and he was shocked that the Death Eaters seemed so confident. So cocky. It reminded him of someone...

Oh, of course! Himself.

Sirius pocketed his wand, threw a cloak over his shoulders and scampered as fast as he could from the hotel room – just in time as well. The window had exploded, sending burning hot pieces of glass everywhere just as the door was slamming shut.

Sirius took flight down the corridor as fast as he could, barging an old man and sliding down the banister of the stairs. He burst through a door to his left and kicked open the fire exit. There were rickety steps that didn't look safe as all, but if he did fall it'd only be two storeys. He almost fell twice, the steps sinking under his weight.

The last few steps were missing two metres above the ground. He sucked up his courage and jumped, his feet tingling painfully. He growled quietly and upon hearing the cries and screams created by the masquerading dark witches and wizards, he started running, favouring his left leg. When Sirius was so close to the edge of the woods his hotel was situated in, he felt himself knocked back. There was a shimmer, and with realisation dawning on him, he understood what the Death Eaters had done.

They had wrapped the hotel in a bubble; a shield. He couldn't go out, and nothing could come in. This included oxygen. If he turned himself invisible, he could only hide so long before they found him. Or they ran out of air. Either way he was done for.

Sirius pulled out his wand and whispered the spell that would turn him invisible. He wasn't very good at the charm; it took heck loads of time to learn. But Moody had taught him the temporary Disillusionment Charm. Just as half of the Death Eaters rolled into view, the last shimmer of Sirius's body flickered in the air. He was gone. He had managed to hide, for _now_.

A part of the group that was looking for him was Severus Snape, who of course, was relieved and felt his body slump. Oh Severus knew the arrogant man was still there somewhere. He wouldn't be able to escape a shield reinforced by thirteen strong Death Eaters. But Black would be able to hide until someone lifted the shield.

They needed to breathe after all. It was just a matter of time before they started choking... Severus bit his nails (a disgusting habit he tended to indulge in when he was too worried) and watched in anticipation as more Death Eaters came running to where the small group of wizards and witches were standing.

'No one lifts this charm,' hissed Bellatrix Lestrange. Her eyes were bulging and her beautiful face was red with anger and passion and excitement. 'No one lifts this charm until we find my cousin.'

And then she started cackling as she shot spell after spell into nothing in particular, but with the vague hope that the spell would perhaps hit her dear cousin. They looked much alike. The same silky dark curls, and the pale faces with startlingly beautiful eyes. The sharp and aristocrat features from their cheekbones to their noses.

It was these good looks that Severus despised about all Blacks. They thought because they were so beautiful that they could treat others like shit. Well he had enough of Sirius Black strutting through Hogwarts with his head held high and his never ending flirting.

Severus couldn't lift the spell; it would be too obvious since the shield would quite literally be sucked into his body, leaving an enormous trail of silver. Instead he hoped Black stayed silent and hidden with what obviously was a satisfactory Disillusionment Charm. The man was supposed to be clever! He couldn't go roaming around carefree and arrogant with a mediocre spell, in the grasp of so many Death Eaters. It was so frustrating.

'Let's cast the Human Revealing Spell!' suggested Nott. Severus nibbled on his bottom lip, oh God, Black was done for. If they knew he was still here, then they wouldn't take the charm down until quite literally, they started to die.

In a deep and vehement voice, Malfoy cried out – 'Homenum Revelio!' A shimmer of soft light sifted from the dark wand Malfoy held in his hands. There was a cry. 'Impossible!' he bellowed, kicking out in anger. 'It says no one is here!'

Bellatrix barged him out of the way until she was at the head of the Death Eaters. 'You fool; you probably didn't cast it correctly. Homenum Revelio!' She roared. This time a brighter and faster light danced from her wand and reached further places. But when it came back to her, it was clear.

'There's no one magical here but us thirteen. Not one witch or wizard extra for a mile it says!' In her fit of blazing anger, she threw her mane of curls back, looked up at the sky and screamed – 'MORSMORDRE!'

With an almighty cry the shadow emerging from the tip of her wand thrashed and screamed. The skies immediately dampened to a dark grey, and the black skull and snake in the sky started moving and shivering. The snake hissed furiously, causing Severus to almost smile. He'd utterly loved the fright and terror the mark created. One of the reasons he was so eager to have it tattooed into his skin.

'Yaxley, Malfoy, Nott, Avery, search everywhere around the hotel. Inside and outside. Make sure he's not there - you can kill Muggles if you want, I don't care. Davison, Jacks, Mulciber; go back to the Dark Lord and fill him in. He'll want to know what has happened. Me, the Carrows, Dolohov and Goyle will look around the grounds. And that leaves you Snape, to look through those trees and bushes and make sure he's not lingering in there. It's an easy job I'm sure even _you_ are competent enough for.'

Bellatrix was still bitter that the Dark Lord was favouring Snape. He had after all informed him immediately after overhearing Dumbledore and Trelawney about the Prophecy.

_If it wasn't for him, Lily wouldn't have to hide. Lily would be safe._

He would never forget that it was he who betrayed her; he who was the reason she was probably going to die. Not unless Black kept the secret precisely that; a secret. Which was why he needed to find the damn arrogant pureblood and find out how he managed to hide from the Human Revealing Spell? Then he could help him escape. He could help Black run away, far away and stay out of reach.

Perhaps to America? Somewhere that would take the Death Eaters a lot longer than two weeks to track him down. But it was inevitable really. Voldemort was going to find Sirius Black. It was just a matter of when. A year, a decade, three?

Everyone separated, following Bellatrix's orders. Severus bound off in the direction of the clustered trees only to lose balance and almost fall.

The damn shield.

'Lestrange, may I have your permission to take down the shield?' his voice was rigged with sarcasm.

She narrowed her eyes but nodded curtly. 'Hurry then.' She snapped.

Did he mention how he really despised her? Almost as much as her stuck up cousin. Almost. But not quite. Severus waved his wand expertly and watched as the shield was sucked up by his body. He continued bounding off to the cover of the trees, but not before he saw a flicker of a form moving and the rustle of leaves.

'Black,' he whispered ever so quietly, thankful that there was so much commotion going on for the Death Eaters to be paying attention to him. Shimmering into view was an enormous and shaggy black dog with piercing silver eyes.

_Those piercing silver eyes._

The dog pressed its head to its paws in a submissive manner and then barked ever so softly before scurrying off from the watchful eyes. Severus followed the black dog for a few minutes until they were sure no one could see them. Slowly he turned his eyes to the dog and watched as it slowly transformed into a human; into a man; into a Marauder; into Sirius Black.

He was utterly lost for words. Never had he thought the Marauders could have accomplished something so clever; so sneaky. It was obvious that this was how they had managed to stay out of trouble, to get away with pranks back in Hogwarts. And it was most probably for the benefit of Lupin. Werewolves couldn't affect animals.

He opened and closed his mouth several times; watching as Black got off the floor and dusted the robe he had stolen from Avery.

'That's exactly how Lily took it,' Sirius said softly, turning his back to Severus and looking off into the forest. 'Close one wasn't it? Thank God I got away ... when Malfoy performed that spell I thought I was done for.

Severus breathed in then out. It was a lot to take in. 'Is it only you?'

Sirius shook his head, surprised at the normal question from Snape. The man was only ever sarcastic or rude; or both.

'No, James and Peter became Animagi too. A stag and a rat.' It hurt to say Peter. It hurt his throat and his heart. It was very painful to say, and he'd avoid saying it ever again if he could. 'We became Animagi in our fifth year, for Remus.' He may as well explain his life story; he had a few minutes to kill. 'Snape—'

'I didn't do this for you.' He cut in bluntly.

Sirius smiled softly to himself, turning to face the Death Eater and tilting his head. 'I know, I know. You did it for Lily. But that doesn't mean I can't say thank you.'

Severus shrugged. 'You're lucky. Two escapes... let's not make a third one.'

'I'm going to set false trails around Ireland but hide out back in England, near London. They won't find me till I get actual plans sorted. I'll have a few weeks, maybe a month at most till they check back in London.'

Severus wanted to comment on how that plan actually sounded decent but thought against it. He wouldn't compliment the man; he was arrogant enough. 'You need to hide Black; you can't prance around with three lives hanging on every choice you make—'

'I know!' snapped Sirius angrily. 'I know! I'm not some stupid kid Snape; I'm going to be much more careful now. But lecturing me isn't going to help! I'll learn from this mistake and I'll be more cautious, more serious about this. My goodness, you're sounding like Lily!'

If that was meant as an insult, it certainly worked the other way. Severus smiled goofily when Sirius's gaze was averted; too busy peering through a cluster of trees at a scuffle he had heard. It was just a squirrel.

He loved being compared to Lily. She was after all, the greatest woman to ever walk the Earth. She just didn't know it yet. 'Unless you want your dear cousin to come and see what is taking me so long, I'd scarper now. Go straight to wherever you need to go and set your trails, be in London by nine. I'll meet you then.'

Sirius raised a delicate and dark eyebrow. 'Why would you want me to meet you?'

'Well I'm going to help of course. I can't have Lily dying—'

'Lily, James and Harry!' corrected Sirius indignantly.

Severus ignored him. 'I'll help you... I-I am on your side.' It was very hard to say it, to say those words. He was betraying the most powerful Dark Wizard in the world.

All for a woman who was already married, and not interested in him. A woman in a happy marriage, with a family, with a son and a husband – a woman who could never be his.

But he was on Sirius Black's side. He wasn't going to become good or anything, but he was damn well going to ensure that she survived. Whatever happened, as long as she lived. He didn't care about the boy or Potter, but he did care about her, and if she died, he may as well too.

Only then, would he go back to his pureblood supremacy and old fashioned opinions. But only after she was safe. And that meant making sure Sirius Black was safe. Something he had hoped to never have to take part in.

'Just meet me at nine,' snapped Severus. 'I'll be in the little cottage south to Gringotts, about a mile or two miles from it. There is a forest nearby, we can talk there.'

Sirius nodded and turned his back to Severus again, frowning and trying to touch his back. The ointment that woman had put on for him was probably ruined now.

Severus sighed heavily. Did he really have to help Black? He didn't want to... he hated the man. But he got up and pulled out his wand.

Immediately, Sirius jumped backward, pulling out his own wand.

'I'm going to heal your wounds you fool,' Severus hissed, gritting his teeth as Sirius reluctantly turned around. He shrugged off the robe stolen from Avery, leaving his bare back for view. You could still see the muscles bulging in them, and the little dimple. There were tattoos, and not the kind Snape would ever get.

A pattern of roses, from the back of Sirius's neck to disappearing into the waistband of his trousers. The roses were very simple, a chain from one to one. They danced and moved, and it was a beautiful design. Severus didn't need to ask who they were dedicated too. He would be foolish if he ever asked questions simply just to ask. When he knew the answer, he knew.

There were a few other tattoos on Black's back. There was a small one of a deer, antlers clashing with a man-wolf's outstretched claws, tangling in the soft looking hair of the deer. The full moon above their heads was blazing. Scuttling around near the animals on some crisp, autumn leaves was a small rat. And in very small letters underneath it said _The Marauders._

Severus almost felt guilty. This whole time he had assumed that they were a petty group, battling against time and age. Because he was sure that after Hogwarts ended so would they. But it wasn't true, was it? For Black, the Marauders were his family! He would never let them go.

Severus almost felt back when he saw the scurrying rat – Peter Pettigrew. The spy. Naturally, Severus had never liked him; since Hogwarts. But here was a man, totally oblivious of the motives belonging to Pettigrew.

'Are you going to stare at my back all day, or will you heal it? But if there are burns on the little rat tattoo, you don't need to fix that.'

So he knew about the traitor Pettigrew after all? Well, he wasn't going to ask. He already knew the answer. He never asked questions when he knew the answer, as he had said before.

Unfortunately there were no burns touching the little cluster of animals under the full moon. But the roses were only mildly ruined; something Severus was sure he could fix. He whispered a soft flow of Latin, watching as gentle wind from the tip of his oak wand started soothing the wounds.

After five minutes of tough work, with total concentration and draining power, Black's pale back was healed from cuts and burns. The roses were fainter, but in a weird way it made the tattoo look more beautiful. As though time had faded them, not magic.

'Thank you,' Sirius said softly, picking up fallen cloak and draping it around his body. 'Thank you for saving me twice, and for healing my wounds. I'm very grateful.' There was no sarcasm in his voice, and so Severus had to believe it was honest. He didn't say 'you're welcome' though; he just nodded and replied in a low voice.

'At nine, at the edge of the forest near the cottage two miles south from Gringotts.' And then he disapparated towards where Bellatrix was waiting, but upon seeing Severus empty handed she shrieked in anger, throwing an enormous temper tantrum. It was obvious that none of the others had found him. Not only because he had just been with Black, but because Bellatrix's anger was enough of an indication.

She was, after all, the leader of this mission, and she'd therefore take the brunt of Lord Voldemort's anger.

'WHAT IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU? WE _OUTNUMBER _HIM AND HE STILL ESCAPES!' she cried, kicking and screaming.

Oh yes, she'd take the brunt of this failed mission.

Severus couldn't help but smile.

* * *

><p><em>AN: I tried to show the characters correctly, and I'm praying you didn't find the Sirius/James scene at the beginning too sappy, because I honestly think that two boys, closer than brothers, would act like this. Especially since they might never see each other again. It was really hard to write as Snape, but great fun, he's an interesting character. I think Sirius would have been somewhat polite to him simply because he owed Snape his life, but if you find this unrealistic PM me!_

_Thanks for alerting, favouriting and reviewing - CARRY ON DOING IT! :D_

_Have the best day humanly possible, and if you've reviewed, have an even better day!_

_-xo_


	9. One's Hopelessness

_Disclaimer; I don't own Harry Potter, as amazing as owning Harry Potter would be, it's just the plot and the OCs for me guys! _

* * *

><p><em>xoxo<em>

_9. One's Hopelessness_

Sirius opted to travel in his dog form. He was faster when he was a dog, and less noticeable. All around Cork he began setting false trails. He signed into a hotel eight miles from where the last one he checked into was. He gave the name Regulus Potter; in hopes that it was enough for the Death Eaters to not find it peculiar but in fact immediately grasp it was him. He gave the female receptionist two hundred pounds for the next three nights and a kiss on the cheek in thanks.

Next, Sirius did the same to four more hotels, all across Cork, which was incredibly hard since it was so big and he knew nothing about it! He disapparated, travelled on foot, ran in his dog form. And it was whilst he walked and ran that he noticed just how beautiful Cork was.

Through nine different forests he set up small camps with signs of magic obviously clear to any wizard or witch. His camps consisted of Muggle tents and weak charms that would make it hard for the Death Eaters to locate the tent, but not impossible. Sirius lay down after setting his final tent up near River Lee, and sighed in relief. After a few hours of panting and resting he got back up ready for the next part of the plan.

Sirius opened an account in Cork's wizarding bank. He gave his real name and put three hundred galleons into the account. Hopefully this would make the Death Eaters and Lord Voldemort think he was going to stay in Ireland for a bit.

James was right. Sirius was incredible at this, at escaping and hiding. But of course without the help of Snape none of this would be possible. Did the man know what he was doing warranted death? As awful as it seemed, he really was forever in Snape's debt. He'd thank the man when he next saw him. Sirius knew none of this was for him, but he didn't really care.

By eight, he was so incredibly tired; he lay down on a park bench and slept. His body was aching from deflecting and dodging spells, it ached from the raw power he had put into some curses, and it cried for food. He hadn't eaten since that morning, and he literally felt like he was starving.

But after thirty minutes of on and off sleep Sirius decided to just lie there. He was staring up at the stars and they were so incredibly beautiful. He could see his own star of course; his namesake. He could also see the constellations Orion and Gemini. Sirius felt at home among the stars. None of his friends understood them like him. It was his only real connection with his family.

When he was younger, and his parents didn't despise him so much, they use to go to Alphard's every few weeks and just lay down watching the stars. It was so much better where Alphard lived then in his horrible home in the centre of London.

Sirius sleepily got up, his stomach uncomfortably growling, and disapparated to the Irish border, where he paid a fee of ten galleons to be allowed to disapparate to Northern Ireland. From there it was very simple to go to England; they were allowed to apparate and disapparate anywhere in the UK.

It wasn't until twenty past nine that he could spot the cottage. Sirius growled and transformed into a dog, bounding off to the little forest near the cottage. It had taken him too long and he was sure Snape would have left.

The man probably thought he had disappeared, or been kidnapped. Sirius in the cover of darkness looked around for the man. But he couldn't see Snape. He wondered whether or not to start calling out but decided against it. Sirius looked around, narrowing his eyes (had he already mentioned his eyesight was immaculate at night time, a trait very common amongst dogs) until he saw a shadow in the forest.

'S-Snape?' Sirius asked hesitantly. He stepped closer to the forest. But there wasn't one man in the forest, instead there were two. Sirius stared, his movements freezing. With a gasp he dropped the rucksack he had been holding and started running, but the man had heard. It was too late. A spell shot at him so fast he dropped. Sirius turned around on his knees and pulled out his wand.

'Avada Ked—'

'STUPEFY!' Sirius roared; an enormous jet of red shooting from his wand and colliding with Jacks. It was Jacks ... of course it was. The little snake was just like Peter; preferring to tag along as opposed to actually doing something on his own.

Jacks flew backwards, a slack smile on his face. It seemed Snape had done it at the same time. And the two extremely powerful Stunning Spells seemed to have hurt Jacks incredibly. Something was going to be wrong with him when he woke up.

Sirius breathed out in a puff and got up, dusting himself off and wiping some mud from his cheek. He looked down at Jacks, spat on the ground almost an inch from Jacks face and then stomped over to where he had thrown his rucksack down.

With such anger in his eyes he looked up at Snape. 'What the... what the _fuck_ was that?' he cried, kicking the immobile body on the floor with such anger he ... he felt like he was going to explode.

Had Snape really just tried to capture Sirius, didn't Lily matter? Was it all just a plan created by the Dark Lord to snatch Sirius? Was it better to use Snape as some sort of link? Sirius had never trusted Snape, ever. But the one time he does trust him he almost dies.

Sirius aimed his wand at Snape so fast the other man didn't have time to react. Sirius pressed it hard into his throat. He would kill him if he thought it would do anything. But as always, he couldn't trust himself. He couldn't trust anyone these days!

'Black, believe me, I didn't want that fool tagging along too. But the Dark Lord sent me to get your files from Gringotts; your transactions. Jacks volunteered to go, and the Dark Lord allowed it.'

Sirius, with his spare hand, ran a hand through his hair. 'He almost killed me,'

'As appealing as you stone-cold-dead sounds, it would compromise our whole mission together. We stopped him. Something will be wrong with him when he wakes up, but I'll erase his memory. As though none of this happened.'

Sirius cautiously and slowly lowered his wand. He knew how scary it was having  
>someone's wand poking your neck. Even the slightest pressure on your neck could make you feel breathless, like you were flying or drowning. Sirius buried his face in his hands, walking over to the closest tree and sinking down besides it.<p>

'I did it, I set the false trails.'

'I know,' replied Snape, hesitantly stepping closer to Sirius. 'A team of twenty Death Eaters are searching through Cork looking for you, in groups of five. How many trails?'

'Five hotels, nine different forests with fake camps.' Sirius answered in a monotonous and cold voice, still pondering on his near death. It had never really mattered; he had almost died dozens of times. But it was worse when three other lives were counting on his safety.

Truth be told, it would be better if he died. That way the secret would die with him and expire, where a new secret keeper would be chosen. But then Voldemort would go looking for Remus, and every other person that the Potters would trust with such a secret. More people would die.

'Good, that should keep them at bay for about a month. In the mean time, you should stay here, in that little cottage.'

Sirius raised an eyebrow and looked up. 'Are you crazy? Jacks is here, he's seen it, your side will be over here scouring the grounds for me in a matter of hours. I'm not stupid Snape! I don't want my friends to die because of me!'

Snape growled angrily and stepped closer, his wand hand quivering slightly. His wand quivering slightly. 'Listen to me you insufferable, arrogant fool. I could swear, I could make an oath that Lord Voldemort would never, ever think of looking in London. At least not until the trails set in Cork are all discovered. You have a month at most, and then you flee.'

Sirius started shaking his head, ignoring the insult. 'What the hell is that cottage anyway?'

'It's Muggle, and to a Muggle it is nothing, it looks like a view of fields all way round. No one lives there, but on register an elderly couple have owned the home for two decades.'

'I don't...' Sirius started but then he ignored it. 'I'm hungry,' he said. Then his stomach growled as though finally happy that he was listening to it. 'I'm so fucking hungry and tired Snape,' Sirius whispered, and then his eyes drooped and his head hit the tree bark gently.

His snores were soft and quiet. Snape rolled his eyes. Obnoxious fool.

_xo_

James cuddled Lily, kissing her hair and her cheek a hundred and one times. They were listening to the WWN, for any sign of Sirius. And they had heard it. Two dead Death Eaters in Cork, thought to have gotten in a fight with an Auror from the signs of the attack. Well it wasn't really an attack. Sirius had been defending himself. He had killed two men.

'... Three Muggles have been Obliviated, but after they informed us that a swarm of Death Eaters, casually dressed and without their usual masks and robes, came chasing a younger man in a car park. Many cars were destroyed in the attempt to capture the unknown man who managed to escape ... Reports just in ...' there was a painful wait for a few minutes, where music filled the room. James hated sudden news breaks. They put him on edge. But then the broadcaster came back on, apologising. 'And the reports just in tell us the man was Sirius Black, who has been missing for over two weeks now. Black was seriously injured, the Muggles have told us, but managed to disappear through unknown methods. Black is most famous for...'

Lily stilled, a raspy breath leaving her mouth. James clutched her, smoothing her hair and whispering comforting words to her. But he wasn't really paying attention to what he was saying, nor was he paying attention to the WWN anymore. All he could think of was Sirius.

_Please let him be alright. Please let him be safe. I would die if he did, I would die if I knew it was my fault. Please let him be alright, let him be safe. _

James looked up at the small wireless and was so tempted to kick it when he heard the horrid voice of Bodewell fill the room.

'Wizards and witches listening at home; we must urge the public to ignore the rumours of spies and traitors amongst us. Black is not a traitor, nor a spy, but on a secret mission for the Auror office. One of the reasons as to why he is being hunted.

'Secondly, new legislations are being set up to insure maximum safety for all of our citizens. Curfew is moving up to ten thirty, and anyone out before this time will be fined four sickles...'

James waved his wand and the wireless turned off. He cradled Lily's face and wiped the tears from her eyes and cheeks. 'He's alright, he escaped—'

'He's a murderer because of us.' She whispered, snatching Harry up from the ground and tucking him in her side.

'He was always a "murderer" if you honestly want to call him that. But he's an Auror, when they can't capture they kill. It's the policy. Even I've had my fair share of killing Death Eaters.'

She composed her face and tried to smile, though it didn't really work. Her face fell again. 'He got hurt.'

James's smile faltered. _Dear God, please let him be okay._ 'I don't know what to say, I hope he's okay. He's Sirius, he's always okay.'

'He needs to be okay, it's been two weeks. Far longer than Dumbledore thought he would last.' Lily replied.

James bared his teeth angrily. How dare the Headmaster tell Lily and James in private on the day that the Fidelius Charm was cast that Sirius probably wasn't going to last a week. That Death Eaters had been keeping tabs on Sirius ever since Voldemort had made it known he was going after them.

James knew his best friend was an obvious choice. Sirius was his best friend, his brother, Harry's godfather, best man at the Potters wedding. He was everything to him, and naturally all the Death Eaters would go after him. In some ways James wished that maybe Remus or Peter became his secret keeper. But then again, the dark side would still hunt his best friend! It didn't matter who the secret keeper was, Sirius would always be bait!

'Sirius will last far longer than Dumbledore thinks. He might even last till his birthday. I wouldn't put it past him. He's good at these things.'

The twenty-fourth of December. Christmas Eve. What a tragic day it would be; the first time the Marauders would all be gone, on their separate paths during the handsome Black's birthday. What a tragic day if he was captured before and they waited in anticipation to see if he was alright.

He had better be alright. Otherwise James was going to hunt those bastards down and avenge his friend. He wouldn't let Sirius's death be in vain. Others didn't really know it, but when James was mad; his rage was in some ways worse than Sirius's.

For Sirius's rage was like an explosion; sudden, painful and quick. But James's was more like a storm; gradual, gaining and just as dangerous. And he felt bad for the Death Eaters who would ever experience his storm. They probably wouldn't survive. Nor would anyone in a ten mile radius.

'He's an idiot,' Lily sniffed, laughing softly, wiping her face on Harry's hair and kissing it repeatedly. Then she shook here head. 'He'll be strong though, won't he?' She turned to her husband hesitantly, and tilted her head, her halo of red curls falling like a veil onto Harry's face.

'Won't he?' she asked, uncertainly.

James once again cradled her face and pressed his lips to hers in a slow, burning, gradual kiss. It must have lasted thousands of seconds; leading no where. They revelled in the simplicity of the strictly PG kiss. No tongues. No groping. Just love.

James ran his hands through her hair, untangling the mass of deep red curls. In turn she ran her small fingers into his incorrigible and awfully messy black hair; soft and silky and smooth.

When the kiss broke, Lily felt better. She picked up her wand from the coffee table and waved it; the dial on the WWN switching back on. But this time it wasn't the news that filled the room but a soft singing voice.

Lily jumped up in a fit of excitement! 'Oh James! This was our wedding song!' she cried, swaying her body with the music, manoeuvring through the room with grace and beauty. Her silk dress fluttered in the light breeze coming from the open window, and her hair danced behind her. When the song stopped she frowned and sunk down onto the sofa, cuddling up next to her husband.

'Oh, I love that song,' she whispered in James's ear after kissing his chin and his neck. 'It makes me so happy,' and then after a pause she said, 'You make me so happy.'

A few more gentle ballads played on the wireless, and soon the songs lulled both Lily and Harry into a deep and warm sleep, both of them in the embrace of James, who couldn't help but smile. This was his family, and he'd be damned if he let anything happened to them.

_xo _

'Remus?' asked Jane from the door. She was Remus's assistant and very capable of doing things that most others wouldn't be able to do. Like hold six cups of coffee in her hands, her wand in her mouth and cast open the doors to the Ministry lifts.

Of course after the first day Remus saw her doing that he ordered her to never do anything like that again. He didn't want people scurrying after him with cups of tea and coffee, and memos from other departments. He wanted someone to work _with_ him, not _for_ him. And now she was not only a good friend, but a worthy assistant.

'Jane,' he said, smiling at her and waving his wand, a chair appearing on the other side of the desk. She grinned at him and danced into the room. Her hair was light brown and short – up to her neck and combed back from her face, emphasising the sharp cut of her angular jaw and intensifying her high cheekbones. She had deep eyes; dark green ones with flicks of gold. She was short and very energetic.

'Did you hear Remus? About Sirius Black?'

His eyes snapped upwards and he slowly rose from his chair. Was Sirius ... was he dead? Oh God, was he dead?

Jane hurried over and took Remus's hand, which was very close to snapping his wand. 'Oh no Remus, he's not dead! He's fine – your friend is fine?'

'Wh-what's wrong with him?' Remus whispered; his voice quiet and deadly. Suddenly the room seemed too stuffy, and his robes were like layers of fire.

'On the WWN, two Death Eaters were killed. It was Black, apparently the Aurors put him on a mission and now he's on the run from the Death Eaters. He was grievously injured.'

'W-when?' he asked, swallowing. He prayed that Sirius was alright. He had been praying every night and he thought maybe it had worked. Remus had received no news for two weeks. But now this?

'Earlier this morning. Since then there have been two Dark Marks spotted in the sky, with over three casualties and four deaths. Almost like the Death Eaters are angry.'

Remus nodded with his eyes still wide and his mouth still open. 'Yes, well they would be angry.' He swallowed, trying to return some moisture to his dry throat. 'They would be furious.' He flicked his wand and the door closed behind Jane. With another jab the cabinet across the room flew open and two small glasses drifted out, followed by firewhiskey.

'Jane,' he gestured to the chair and she sat down slowly. She raised an eyebrow as Remus filled the glass to the brim with firewhiskey, raising another eyebrow when he downed it.

'Remus, stop it. You have a meeting in a few hours; you don't want to stumble in half drunk-' the hard slam of his glass on the oak table was enough to silence her.

'If he dies...'

'He won't die, he's a good Auror from what I've heard!' she soothed, leaning over the table and running a hand over his arm. 'You needn't worry Remus, whatever this mission is he'll be able to handle it.'

Remus chewed on his lip nervously; trying to ignore the warmth he felt when she touched his arm tentatively. She was afraid of him of course, most of his staff were. Remus had opted, unlike many in his situation would, to tell everyone who worked for him that he was a werewolf. He wouldn't want to make friends based on lies; not everyone was like the Marauders. Consequently, the next day he had received two resignations and four angry worded letters from loved ones of those resigned workers. Amongst those resignations and angry letters, he also received a few hate notes and death threats. Just the usual stuff.

Bodewell had even come to talk to him and said that he shouldn't have told anyone. 'We can always Obliviate them!' The Minister had said. But Remus had declined politely (he really didn't like the Minister and so it was hard to be polite) and told him he didn't want to work somewhere that wouldn't accept him for being him. Something his friends had taught him.

But weirdly enough, though Jane was very hesitant at first she was honest and kind. It was obviously very hard to ignore all the prejudices she had been taught since a young age but she tried vehemently and it made Remus happy; very happy. He was starting to fancy her a little. Though she was small enough to tuck into his pocket.

But he wasn't going to get ahead of himself; she was a pureblood witch (but from a rather well liked family) born into a little wealth and with a great future ahead. She wasn't going to stoop so low and fall in love with a werewolf. Accepting him was more than enough.

'He can handle it, I know. But he's Sirius Black. He's my best friend, and if anything happens to him...' He shook his head and sighed heavily. It hurt to even think of the possibility.

_xo_

Sirius cried out, reaching for thin air and shivering. His naked body was sweating, and the open windows letting in the chilly air weren't helping. He wrapped his arms around his bare torso and shivered. Okay _now _it was cold. He couldn't even remember what his nightmare had been about. But Snape was in it, playing the serpent from the Adam and Eve story.

And that was as far as his pitiful memory went. Sirius ran a hand through his horribly tangled hair, and over his pale face shining in the gibbous moonlight. His stomach growled and he got up, ignoring the need to pull on some trousers and instead slipping on some very _short_ shorts rather reluctantly.

If a Death Eater ever came, he would hate to battle the bastard/bitch in his birthday suit. He stumbled out of the small cottage bedroom he had been staying in for almost two weeks now. He was scared. His time was waning, and if there ever was a moment in his life where the future was an unknown void, it was now. He wasn't sure what was going to happen. He hadn't seen Snape for a week now, and he was anxious. What if this was all a trick?

But he had no one to trust, and whether or not it was foolish to expect Snape to protect him he had no other choice. Sirius ambled, more awake now, across the hard stone floor of the cottage that he despised, to the kitchen. He was shivering now. Into the kitchen and pulling open a few cupboards filled with food, he started eating whilst walking from drawer to drawer, brushing the crumbs from his face and forcing more food into his mouth.

'Hem, hem,' he heard someone cough. Sirius jumped around, searching his body for his wand and hissing. He was going to die, he was going to die!

But standing in his kitchen weren't a group of ten Death Eaters, or twenty or thirty. There was only one. Snape. Sirius growled, before grabbing a mug nearby and throwing it at Snape, missing (which was surprising, since he was an amazing beater) and instead managing to smash it into thousands of pieces.

'You _dick!_' Sirius howled, hauling another mug and missing again. 'I thought you were a fucking Death Eater! You don't _do stuff like that!_' Sirius gave up throwing mugs and instead stuffed the rest of the croissant in his mouth angrily and dusted the crumbs from his muscular chest.

Severus Snape looked stuck between laughing hysterically and hexing the crap out of Sirius. Instead he decided on repairing the mugs and chuckling all the while.

Sirius wasn't afraid of him though. In the whole world he was only really afraid of his Mother. 'This isn't funny you ... you ...' He trailed off, looking at the glass he'd stepped on and the trail of blood trickling onto the marble floor. Much like when he beat Peter up in his bathroom and the blood trickled down the marble, like a stream of water.

He wondered how his home was. Had it been destroyed, or searched, or left whole and intact? Just after he'd packed his most prized possessions and some clothes, Sirius had spent the best part of an hour reinforcing some Protective Charms on his home; the most powerful ones he knew.

Snape started laughing harder this time, setting the two now repaired mugs on the table and sitting down again. 'It is quite funny...'

Sirius furiously scowled, looking down at his small cut. But suddenly he laughed, and when he started he couldn't stop. How ridiculous was this? He didn't even know why he was laughing. After a moment though he stopped. He didn't like the thought of laughing with Snape. He despised the man more than he could even fathom.

'Why are you here Snape?' he asked bluntly, snapping his head up and connecting his piercing silver eyes with the bottomless black pools of Snape's.

'The Dark Lord has already called half your search party out of Ireland; he's already suspecting you are not there anymore. Another week and a half? Maybe two if you're lucky ... then they'll start searching in England. You need to come up with a plan, and fast.'

Sirius started shaking his head, running a hand through it. Strangely enough he didn't feel uncomfortable with his archenemy; dressed in barely anything. The pendant James had given him hung from his neck - he hadn't taken it off since it was handed to him. It was a symbol of love and brotherhood.

There were a few small clusters of tattoos on his chest and neck; one of a single Rose and another of a large magnificent 'M' where his heart was, and finally (his most recent one wrapped around his the front of his neck and collarbone) in beautiful and large calligraphy, the initials R.A.B. He watched as Snape's eyes flickered to the initials and an almost sympathising look came across his face.

Snape started chewing on his lip; as though contemplating whether or not to say something to Sirius. Finally he seemed to decide. 'I shouldn't be telling you this Black ... But – your brother ...'

Sirius looked up wildly, almost biting his lip off at the sheer excitement. Was he ever going to be able to see his brother's dead body again? Oh how he wanted to visit Regulus! The last time he had seen his Mother was when she informed him or Regulus's death, and in fact took Sirius herself (whilst being accompanied by Lily and various other friends) to look at his brother's body. He didn't see the face, it was too disfigured. It looked like he had been mauled by a bear or something. It didn't even really look like Reg.

This made him hate Malfoy even more. He had hugged the broken, disfigured, battered body of his brother's and looked down at someone he didn't recognise.

'What about Reg?' Sirius asked hesitantly, ignoring the stinging in his foot when a sad expression fluttered over Snape's face.

'I don't even know why I'm going to tell you ...' The Death Eater said, scratching the side of his chin and looking out of the window, showing the dark sky and the shining moonlight. 'You know when your Mother took you to say goodbye to your brother,' Snape turned his face and looked into Sirius's eyes. 'It wasn't him.' He whispered.

If there was ever a time he felt like he was falling at a great speed, like he was falling through the earth's crust and there was no one there to catch him, it was now. Sirius felt like that. Like he had been pushed into the very cracks of the earth and left to fall thousands of miles into the unknown.

Was it true? Should he believe Snape?

His eyes felt like they were seeping liquid; like they were crying. _They were crying. He was crying._ He started sniffing shaking his head, softly at first but harder and harder.

Then Sirius started stuttering. 'N-no, I s-saw...' He shook his head, gulping and making a disgusted noise in his throat. 'No, S-Snape you're wrong! I s-saw ...' And Sirius let out a cry half way between sobbing and screaming. He covered his face to hide his pitiful tears.

'I'm not lying Black. I don't know how or why, but the body wasn't real. No one knows where he is. The last time you saw him was with your Mother, correct? Then he was put in a grave God knows where. Your Mother refused to tell you when you asked where your brother's grave was. That's because she doesn't know too. The Death Eaters are behind this, that's all I know.'

Sirius looked around the kitchen. It was as if his whole world was moving in slow motion. He couldn't believe what Snape was telling him.

_But you know it's true. You know it makes sense. _

Regulus had died a few days before his birthday in 1979. It had been a horrible time for Sirius, and when for the first time in years he was going with his Mother to see the body, he brought along Remus and Lily.

And they held his hands as he peered down at the body. He couldn't recognise his brother; for the face was so badly disfigured it was practically impossible to tell whether it was a man or not. The body seemed smaller and shorter than how he remembered Regulus. But never before had he questioned it.

A few weeks after seeing his brother's body, Sirius had asked his Mother in a letter whether he could go and see Regulus's grave. But her answering letter was they didn't know where the coffin had gone, or where he was buried. And Sirius had left it at that. Perhaps he was too scared to go and see the grave anyway.

'S-Snape,' he whispered, feeling lightheaded and nauseous. 'Snape please,' he begged, shaking his head and gripping his hair.

'That's all I know.' replied the other man, shortly, harshly. And then Snape got up. 'Remember Black, you need to come up with a plan. I'll stop round in four or so days.' Then the Death Eater snatched his cloak from where it was draped on the wooden chairs and sauntered out of the room. Only to stick his head back in. 'Don't do anything stupid until then Black, I know how much of an idiot you can be.'

Soon after Sirius heard the door slam. As soon as it did slam, he sunk down on his knees, clutching his head and sobbing terribly.

Dear God, kill me now.

He shook his head. It wasn't true; his brother had been found? His brother had been buried ... Malfoy had brought the dead body back to his wife and her sister, who contacted family to say their goodbyes. His brother wasn't rotting off somewhere, forgotten and eroding?

If in fact he was rotting at all. Maybe he was alive?

His swallowed and shook his head. This wasn't true; this couldn't be true.

But he knew it was, and he was going to get his payback. Fuck Snape and his plans; fuck staying low. He was going to find Malfoy and get the truth from him, and then he was going to kill the bastard. Just because he _shouldn't_ go around starting fights with Death Eaters, didn't mean he _wouldn't_. He was getting payback.

After all he had mentioned earlier about his three steps. His three motives, what drove him to carry on doing what he was doing, driving him to save his friends and save the world.

Sirius would continue protecting the Potters; with his life, with his soul, with his heart.

He would never tell a soul of the future Sirius, making sure no one knew what could have happened; what should have happened.

But his last plan was to avenge his brother; and now he was more determined and passionate than he had ever been. The plan had changed now, this step had changed. He was going to find Malfoy, find and kill him. He was going to avenge Regulus Arcturus Black, and he was going to avenge him good.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Tell me what you thought of the insight on James and Remus's lives; I think the last few chapters have been a little too Sirius-centred._

_Please leave a review, especially if you haven't yet :)_

_Take care, xo_


	10. One's Surprise, Another's Demise

_Disclaimer; You know the drill, just the plot and the OCs. Which by the way, you're going to meet one of the main OCs now! Rose Taten._

* * *

><p><em>xoxo <em>

_10. One's Surprise, Another's Demise_

Remus's eyes shot up as an owl flew into his room, carrying a letter. In the room with him was Jane, but she was always in the room with him. He enjoyed her company so much. They had been in the middle of talking about another meeting he had soon; tiring and tedious as it was it had to be done. They shared a look.

This letter didn't look normal. It didn't have any ministry approving stamps, nor did it come in an envelope or sealed with a wax stamp. It hastily had written on the front 'Remus'.

Keeping his eyes locked on Jane's, he un-scrolled the parchment. He recognised the handwriting. He recognised the scruffy and not at all bothered penmanship. The lazy flicks and the smudged ink. The inconsistent font sizes and the slanted lines. He had never felt so relieved to see Taten's writing. She was after all such an important person in Sirius's life.

Immediately he started reading:

_Remus,_

_Don't lie to me; I am not as dumb as I used to be. Tell me now about my baby, tell me about Sirius! I want to know why he's gone. Why he has left to complete a mission he knows he won't return from. I'm coming back to see you guys, and I pray this reaches you before I do. I haven't seen him in so long, and I miss him with every fibre of my being. I've tried sending letters to his apartment the past few weeks but they all return unanswered, as if no one's there. I know he told me that he wasn't returning, but he needs to come back._

_There's someone else who needs Sirius apart from me. Someone he has yet to meet. Who I have yet to meet. I know you hate riddles; I remember that the most about you. I'll explain more when I return, just promise me you'll tell him if you can, that I'm coming for him. _

_Love, Rose_

It was shorter than Remus expected it to be, and he understood all but one part. "Who I have yet to meet." What did that mean? He nibbled on his lip, and reached for a mug of tea just as Jane finished reading.

'Who's Rose?' she asked. Remus prayed that her voice was jealous, and not just curious. But he didn't want to get his hopes up.

'An old friend who's coming back home.' He answered, running a hand through his tawny tousled hair and over his shaven face. 'Dammit,' he growled. 'Why does she love talking in riddles?' Nervously Remus rolled it up and tucked it in his pocket. 'Jane, how long would you say it takes for owls to deliver letters from Australia to here?'

She let out a breath, shrugging her small shoulders. 'I'm not sure, maybe four or five days? If the owl's old then it could take up to a week. Why?'

Remus nibbled on his lip. 'I need to contact my friends, would you mind...'

'Not at all, I'll see you at the meeting.'

Remus nodded at her as she opened the door and hurried out. He sunk down on the desk, knocking over a few sheets of parchment. He looked down at the letter. She was coming soon then? It had already been almost a month since Sirius went into hiding – it was the twenty first of November.

She would hate to find out where he was. 'A life threatening Auror mission' was what Moody had been telling everyone who asked. In fact the old man had appeared on the WWN to talk about Sirius and his disappearance; and how it was in fact, not a disappearance but a mission. And no one liked asking questions. Especially in a time like this. They were scared of the answer they might receive.

Rose Taten was coming back; and with her she was bringing a surprise. A boyfriend? A husband? He didn't know the answer to that riddle, but he did know she was coming back. Regardless, Remus was going to be there for her, just like he knew Sirius would want him to be.

_xo _

_The Twenty Third of November_

Sirius had been hiding for a few days within a mile of the Malfoy Manor. He watched carefully for the daily routines and was soon able to almost predict Malfoy's moves. He was always gone for the duration of the day; but always returned before sunrise where he was sluggish and slow, as if he was in pain. More than once he would turn around to look at where he thought someone was, but he couldn't see the barely discernible dog in the shelter of the darkness. More than once Sirius wanted to hex him into oblivion. But he managed to restrain himself.

It had been a horrible few days, and he was sure Snape was probably looking for him now. Sitting in the cover of bushes over three hundred metres from Malfoy's home; he couldn't help but feel happy. He was going to finally bring justice for his brother; he was going to make sure Malfoy paid. Sirius leant back, his hands behind his head, and his whole buried in the overgrown grass. He shivered a little violently. He wanted to sing because he was so happy. He was a few hours away from killing the bastard.

Then he would go back to the cottage, pack everything and get out of that wretched prison he was staying in. He wasn't going to stick around. And wait for Voldemort to capture him? After murdering one of his most faithful followers? Not a chance.

The stars were shining brightly; it was maybe half nine? Quarter to ten? But with the stars came the cold and Sirius shivered again.

Then he heard a rustle and looked up but upon seeing nothing he slowly and rather reluctantly dropped his head again. Just in time too, because a sharp golden bolt of fire managed to skim the bare tips of his black silky hair. Pulling out his wand and conjuring a shield, Sirius's grey eyes met the colder ones staring back at him.

'So _you_ have been following me? I thought you were an Auror!' Lucius Malfoy howled, sinking into a duelling stance and raising his wand arm over his head. A very powerful spell sent from his dragon heartstring wand was enough to burst Sirius's shield, and another one was enough to send the younger man flying. It wasn't because he was a bad dueller or anything; in fact he _knew_ he was better than Malfoy, but he was shocked. He was shocked!

Sirius shook his head furiously, feeling dazed from the sheer force that had been put into the spell. He couldn't let Malfoy win; he couldn't let Malfoy beat him! Sirius twirled his wand professionally, sinking into his own duelling stance and sent a spell with absolute strength that threw Malfoy into the air, and back down to the ground.

Sirius watched as Malfoy started chuckling on the ground, a trickle of blood oozing out of his mouth. Then the chuckling turned into full blown laughing. Sirius looked behind him and watched as ten Death Eaters advanced, slowly, threateningly and with their wands drawn and pointing to him. His heart sank. _No!_ He wanted to cry.

He was gone. He was dead. He was captured. But he wouldn't go down without a fight.

Sirius spun around, his wand over his head and dark blue light streaming out. A spell shot out from where his shield had yet to reach and a warm feeling tingled over his body. But with the shield, and the unknown tracing spell that had been slipped past the shield, Sirius disapparated. The first place that had sprung into his mind was Diagon Alley. A foolish choice, since all but one of the Death Eaters was wearing masks and black robes to cover their identities; and so they wouldn't mind wreaking havoc in public. But wasn't curfew dawning closer? No one would be hurt, right?

Around him were hundreds of people, shuffling for their last purchase of the day. When one of them saw Sirius, blood down his face and with a fading glow around him, at first the woman mumbled – 'Sirius Black?' but when ten Death Eaters and Malfoy apparated to where he was, the woman screamed.

The whole of the high street was in uproar; running and screaming. Ducking down or disapparating. His heart was beating fast; and not in the way he liked. Sirius wasn't one to witness innocent lives being ended; he prayed they would get away safely. Hopefully one of the screaming witches would contact the Auror office and help save him too.

He prayed it would be Moody.

Oh dear God, what had he done? Because of him, James and Lily's lives were now in jeopardy. But he wouldn't give them up, he wouldn't, he couldn't. Sirius waved his wand and sharp fast bursts of black flames roared from the tip of his wand, colliding with Avery and Mulciber, and throwing them backwards and setting them alight with the flickering flames. A spell collided with the side of his face, and he felt such pain he was sure it was the Cruciatus Curse.

Sirius fell on the floor, groaning in pain. His body twisted into such shapes, and his screams took such tones that it spiked curiosity among many of the hiding bystanders. And they saw it wasn't one wizard casting the torture curse, but _three_ wizards casting the curse simultaneously on Sirius Black. As soon as it ended, he flicked his wand and roared 'EXPELLIARMUS!' which disarmed one Death Eater.

Then Sirius rounded his wand to another close by and hissed with all the anger and cold and evil inside him – 'Mortem!' With a cry the man he couldn't recognise fell to the floor, tremors rippling through his body. In a few minutes, the man would be dead – if Sirius had performed it with just the right hatred and disgust.

Immediately, one of the Carrows (it must have been Amycus) kicked Sirius hard in the stomach, before whispering another spell. It felt like his body was on fire, it wasn't the Cruciatus that he was performing, but it felt like something different. Sirius whimpered out loud, his wand was pulled from his hands.

He tried to pull it back but he couldn't. All he wanted was to kill Malfoy. As fast and sudden as he could, Sirius leapt up and seized both his wand and Carrow's. He roared such an evil curse, he wished to never have to do it again. 'ADFLICTIO!'

Carrow's mouth started bleeding and his eyes were bulging with pain, froth started emerging too and weak screams escaped his mouth. The pain Carrow was going through was lesser than the Cruciatus Curse, but still unimaginable; it was such a dark and ancient spell that barely anyone knew it. But he knew it. Did that mean he was dark?

Sirius deflected a spell that came his way and stunned another. 'PETRIFICUS TOTALUS!' He watched for a moment as Carrow's younger sister dropped hard and sudden, almost as if she was dead. Someone hissed from the shadows, 'Expelliarmus!' and one of the wands in Sirius's hands flew into the air, caught by another Death Eater. It was only half a dozen or so left, and already he was feeling so weary, so tired and _so _in pain. His body was screaming. His heart was racing. His head was drumming painfully. Just five more, he chanted to himself. He had distracted Mulciber and Avery, gotten both the Carrows and killed an unknown Death Eater. Just a few more and Malfoy.

_xo_

_The Twenty Third of November _

Remus knew that he wouldn't be told off for staying in bed a little longer. He was the Head of Department; he could do whatever he liked. And full moon was in three days; he was allowed to stay in bed a little longer. Well he'd said to himself three hours ago 'just a little longer' and it was now half two. He couldn't stop thinking about Sirius, his best friend. He knew that Rose was coming going to come soon.

He wasn't in the mood right now; he was scared for his best friend. The fury Lord Voldemort was feeling was so obvious and so terrifying that even his own apartment had been pinched; with two injuries during a Muggle attack near Oxford Street. Luckily Jane wasn't injured.

He felt so lonely, without James or Sirius or Peter. The full moon that passed over three weeks ago had been the worst in the last five or six years. He had never (since his fifth year) been alone during a full moon. Therefore, he'd grown so utterly dependent on his friends to entertain him; to help him stay calm and tame that naturally without them he had gone wild. Remus opted though, to go to Madam Pomfrey instead of St Mungos because she was so kind and sweet. She made him feel normal.

On the plus side, his department had already found two hiding Death Eaters. By pure luck really but already the Death Eaters had been tried and sent to Azkaban for life.

There was a knock on his apartment door and he groaned. Remus wasn't dumb; in fact he was pretty damn smart. He knew who it was. Slowly and reluctantly, he got out of his warm bed; shrugged on a jumper to cover his toned and honey coloured chest, and hurried to answer the door.

Her back was to him, she seemed to be looking down the corridor. Her hair was still as long as it used to be; comfortably brushing the top of her thighs. It was long and silky and deep golden. She seemed a bit ... chubbier?

Suddenly, she whisked around and her face lit up. 'Remus!' she cried, hugging him. Tentatively he put his hands on her back and patted her. She had gone _really quite fat_. He could feel her enormous stomach pressing hard against his own.

It took a few moments for him to catch on, but when Remus did he gasped and pushed her back gently, his eyes raking over her body. She smiled and did a little twirl; ever the show off.

'Remus,' Rose's husky voice said quietly, 'meet my baby boy.'

Rose was fat, yes. But not in the way Remus thought she was. Rose was _pregnant_ and she was nine months pregnant at that.

_xo _

_The Twenty Third of November; 23:02 _

Sirius was thrown backwards, but out of hatred his hissed – 'ADFLICTIO!' and the Death Eater who was in the process of hexing him once more shrieked in pain. Sirius dodged behind an enormous overturned billboard.

Behind it was an old woman and someone who looked a lot like the old woman; was it her daughter? They took one look at Sirius and shrieked but it was drowned out by the commotion going on a few metres ahead.

He gave them his most pleading look. 'Shush! Please, hush! I'm a good –' he jumped up and cried a curse, which unfortunately missed his target. Malfoy was a sneaky bastard after all.

'PROTEGO!' he bellowed, and a large shield was place in front of the two women besides him. Then he dodged back down in front of the billboard. The two women were looking at him as though he was someone famous and terrible all at the same time.

'Has anyone contacted the Auror office?' he asked. The women still stared at him with their mouths open. Sirius wiped a trickle of blood from his face and sighed exasperatedly. He peered over the billboard to see the remaining few Death Eaters shooting spells at his charm, waiting for it to falter. He could see Malfoy reawakening the stunned and petrified. That meant three more Death Eaters.

Sirius wiped the perspiration from his forehead. He was going to lose. And he was so tired; and in such pain. It hurt to breathe. It hurt to think. It hurt to move. It was like fighting a ten-headed monster, every time you cut off a head, ten more popped up.

He sluggishly stood up just as the shield was destroyed. If he was going to be defeated, might as well procrastinate as long as he could. He coughed into his hand just as he waved another shield. He wasn't going to go down without a fight.

_xo _

_The Twenty Third of November; 15:24_

'Does he know?' Remus all but whispered, setting the cup of tea in front of Rose before sitting opposite her. He was shocked. She was pregnant, due in two days. And this whole time she had been hiding out in Australia; from Sirius – from telling him the truth. It hurt Remus a lot. All the decisions Sirius had made would have been different if he knew he was going to become a father.

But he didn't know; he never would. It made Remus furious.

'What the hell is wrong with you Rose?'

She was startled. Remus never shouted at her. Maybe it was because she never did anything to him or in front of him that warranted a scolding. Right now she was wondering what she did that warranted a scolding.

'What?' she hissed back rudely. 'What have I done?'

Remus put a hand on his forehead and looked down at the table. It was hard to restrain his anger. He felt bad. So terrible. He knew that his best friend had a son coming along but his best friend didn't. His best friend was probably hiding out in a ditch, with a can of beans and the Daily Prophet on his lap. He didn't have a clue what was going on in London right now.

'Sirius doesn't know, does he?' He didn't need to ask, it was stupid to ask. But it was worth her face.

She shook her head and a sad expression flickered across her face. Good, she deserved to be sad. 'I wanted to tell him, but I didn't know how he'd handle it. I thought he'd leave me.'

'So you left him?' sneered Remus, jumping up and slamming his fist down on the table. Rose jumped back a little, frightened. 'You selfish girl! You don't know what you've done! You don't know what he's done!'

Rose's face betrayed the guilt and ignorance she was feeling. 'I-I don't understand Remus.'

'HE'S GONE ON A MISSION! HE'S OFF RISKING HIS LIFE – HE'S PROBABLY GOING TO DIE! BUT HE WOULDN'T HAVE DONE ANY OF THIS IF HE KNEW HE HAD A SON ON THE WAY!' Remus roared, but after ten seconds of deep and calm breathing, he felt composed.

Tears sprang in her eyes and she had trouble getting up from the kitchen chair but when she did, she took Remus's hands. 'What's happened?'

'He's become the Potter's secret keeper – Voldemort is after Harry and James and Lily. Now Voldemort's after him, and he's running. He's running for his life, and he wouldn't have needed to if he knew...'

She dropped the hands and looked away, staring at the small window above the sink. It overlooked some other apartments and a few shops but perhaps the best thing of this typical London view was the enormous field stretching for miles right before their eyes.

Rose now felt calmer. Something she had tried mastering in Australia. Her temper was after all just as bad as her old boyfriend's. Maybe that was why they had attracted together so strongly and so perfectly, they really were quite similar. Rose would get in a fight with Sirius and they'd break up. She'd find someone else to have fun with. News would get back to Sirius, and he'd track down the bastard and beat the living daylights out of him.

And Rose? Rose would do the same for him. The amount of fights she had gotten in trying to stop Sirius sneaking off with a tart. It was almost funny. Another reason why they shouldn't ever be together, because they were _too_ similar. They were like two explosives; colliding and creating a huge catastrophic mess.

When Rose read his letter, she had cried so much. It hurt to even think of the letter – _his love letter, his last letter_. She had never thought it was something like this though. She thought maybe Sirius was being melodramatic. But even her Mother, Charlotte, said it looked serious, and encouraged her to send a letter demanding for the truth. All the letters returned though, unopened and with the owl somewhat explaining in its alien language that no one was there.

Well she came straight here, travelling by coach and train (since heavily pregnant women weren't allowed on planes) before going straight to Sirius's apartment. She had the incantation carved into her wand's memory (not literally) and when she looked around, it was enough to see that he hadn't been there for quite a while. Rose had smelt the clothes he'd left behind and touched the foreign clothes of women who had stayed over with her boyfriend, her _love._

When she left the apartment, Rose took heed of the letter and came straight to Remus, who was now screaming at her for what she'd done.

Rose looked back at the tall, tawny haired man. 'He's going to die?' she asked quietly.

Remus nodded curtly and angrily. 'He wouldn't have done this if he knew he had a child...' His voice was so hurt, so grief ridden that she knew he was right. Sirius wasn't going to survive this. If Remus, the optimistic and intelligent one was saying that Sirius was a dead man walking, then he truly was a dead man walking.

'B-but...' and she started crying. First it was gentle, and then it turned into sobs, then loud sobs and then screams! 'B-BUT H-H-HE HAS T-TO C-COME B-BACK!' she started hiccupping and snivelling and blubbing and Remus really couldn't understand a word she was saying.

Until he saw her piss her pants. Quite literally. He excused his eyes, not wanting to make her feel awkward. But instead of apologising and running off to use the loo she gasped. He turned to look at her and then the puddle on the floor. It wasn't the colour of what urine usually was though. It looked a lot like water.

'Remus,' she breathed.

'Oh no,' he said, 'no, no, fuck Rose!'

'Remus! Oh, dear God it's coming now. _Remus!_ He's coming NOW!'

_xo _

_The Twenty Third of November; 23:59_

Sirius was punched in the face. Right now he was on his knees, bowed before Lucius and four other Death Eaters. He had killed three and grievously injured three. To him that was an accomplishment.

His wand was on the floor behind him, and he was thanking God that they had been so arrogant and confident that they overlooked it. He was almost insulted actually that they thought him weak and easy. Hadn't he just shown them even when outnumbered a dozen to one, he could hold out for hours?

He gritted his teeth as another punch came his way. He felt his lip spilt open and blood squirt quite literally out. He was going to play hurt and injured until they were distracted enough for him to hurt Malfoy. In spite of everything Sirius had done during this battle, the Death Eaters wouldn't kill him. No, because then they killed their chance of capturing Lily and James and most importantly, Harry.

And Voldemort would be really pissed off. In fact Sirius was sure he'd kill anyone who allowed Sirius to be killed or participated or even watched.

'Crucio!' spat Malfoy, and Sirius felt like his whole body was on fire. Like he was being stabbed. Stabbed a thousand times all over his body. But he didn't scream – well only once. When the spell was lifted he whimpered, sagging down directly on top of his wand. His right hand wrapped around it, and he gritted his teeth as the Death Eaters started laughing.

'Is he dead?' cackled one of them and the rest started laughing. 'Deserves it, the little bastard!' and then someone kicked him hard.

Very hard.

His ribs cracked. He could feel them crack. Each breath was pain, each thought was torture. He was considering killing himself, he really did consider it. It would keep the secret safe, though someone else would have to take the role of secret keeper. But it would kill his friends – quite literally. James would go charging when he found out about Sirius's death and would kill any of them he could, inevitably being killed himself. Remus would do the same, though more sensibly. But he would die too. And then the Marauders would be done.

It would mean nothing.

Someone said something else (Dolohov?) and a sharper spell hit him – better executed than Malfoy which meant just as painful. Sirius however, held his tongue, because the words on it were pleading for death. Where were the Aurors?

The enormous clock tower chimed midnight, and through the screams Sirius could hear it's loud gong, resonating and strong and proud.

But his thoughts were recaptured as a jet of fire hit him and he screamed, jumping up and ripping his robe off. Luckily there were no burns on his bare chest or his back, though it felt raw. Malfoy and Sirius's eyes met – silver against dark grey. Malfoy's eyes flickered to the tattoo of Regulus's initials. A look of glee flickered over the blond man's face.

'Regulus?' he whispered. Sirius growled. Even the sound of his dear brother's name hissed from the lips of his murderer made him want to scream. Malfoy grinned as the others laughed. 'Regulus Black? Hmm... I think I have a vague recollection of our last meeting. It involved of course, the Cruciatus Curse and some screaming—'

In a dark and dangerous and bellowing voice Sirius screamed – 'NUMQUAM AMBULARE!' the paralysis curse. One of the darkest curses he knew. Now he thought about it, he didn't want to kill Malfoy; he just wanted the man to live a miserable life.

In a few months when he returned (because he was going to return, he had to) he'd complete the job. With a grunt, and a look as though he'd seen death, Malfoy fell onto the floor, froth exploding from his mouth and his grey eyes rolling back into their sockets.

But then there were a series of cracks as Aurors apparated into Diagon Alley. Curses were shot and just as Sirius thought he could escape a hand locked around his throat. His eyes connected with Moody's from across the street and just as the old man raised his wand to defeat Sirius's kidnappers, Dolohov and another Death Eater disapparated. Taking Sirius with them. And leaving his wand behind.

_xo _

_The Twenty Fourth of November; 00:18 _

Rose was clinging onto Remus's hand, screaming so loud he was sure her mummy Charlotte in Australia could hear. The healer, much like Remus, was way past getting a migraine. Remus hoped her son didn't have lungs like her. But then it might have Sirius's lungs? And that was just as bad. Either way the baby was going to be one heck of a screamer. Remus's hand felt numb and dead, because she'd been squeezing it so tight.

'Come on Rose, a few more pushes!' the Medi-witch said soothingly, wiping the perspiration from her brow with a towel. 'A few more pushes!'

'WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP?' Rose cried angrily, howling as she pushed once more.

'Yes you can Rosie, you can do it, a few more,' Remus pleaded, his hand aching even more whilst she screamed.

'I can't,' panted Rose. 'We've been doing this for hours,' she cried, tears of pain falling down her cheeks. And it was true; they had been at this for quite a while.

They'd gotten to the hospital at quarter to five, and she wasn't even really in labour then. Not until half six did she start having contraptions – and boy did they look like they hurt. Remus was so thankful he was a guy. When he was sure he lost feeling in his hand over an hour ago, he knew she was coming close. Well not close but nearer to the destination.

Suddenly, Remus thought how on earth he had gotten in this situation. Wasn't this Sirius's job? The first time with Lily had been enough. He remembered it like it was yesterday. It had been a nightmare.

_x_

'Come on Lily! You can do it, you can—'

'WILL YOU SHUT UP JAMES? AH! DEAR GOD THIS FUCKING HURTS!' she shrieked, clinging onto Sirius's arm and squinting her eyes as hard as she could.

Sirius started giggling; for Lily Evans never swore. But the glares he got from the woman giving birth, her crazy husband and the irritable werewolf and Peter weren't even enough to stop him from laughing.

The room was small, with two Medi-witches and a healer. Peter was standing behind Lily, dabbing her forehead with a small wet towel and James was standing behind the male healer (he had been really upset when he found out the only healer available was male) in between her thin long legs.

'Oh my God Lily! I can see the head – I CAN SEE THE HEAD!'

Sirius managed to squeeze away from Lily's grasp and ambled over to see the head. 'Let me see!'

'NO!' James roared, pushing his friend away roughly. 'I will not have you looking in between my wife's legs thank you very much!'

Sirius frowned, pouting. 'Yeah but you're letting this guy look.'

'Is it weird that I trust him more than you?'

Sirius frowned. 'Yeah.'

'Then yes, I trust him more than you.'

_o_

It had been a euphoric and frustrating and exasperating and scary day. It had been so poignant, especially when the healer took a picture of all of them standing around Lily with the baby. Remus was never going to forget that day.

But it was different with Rose. Whereas Lily was rude and loud during her childbirth, Rose was like that all the time. And so in childbirth, she was a million times worse.

'You're doing it Rose! You're doing it! One more push, just one more push!'

With a loud and deep and hard cry she pushed with all her might and force and strength. Then she sagged back in the pillows. It was done.

'Th-thank G-God ... th-that little – fucker's – out – of ... me,' she panted, wiping the tears from her eyes.

The healer pulled the rest of the baby boy out, cutting the umbilical cord with a severing charm. Then the baby boy was wrapped up in a light blue blanket and taken over to the Remus and Rose. The small boy wasn't even crying, but instead looked patient. The healer wiped the blood and goo from the baby with a scouring spell ('Scourgify!') and wrapped him up in another blanket to keep him warm.

'D'you want to hold your son?' the healer asked Remus, offering the baby.

'He's ... he's not the Father,' Rose managed to pant, opening her arms for her son. The healer raised an eyebrow but handed the baby over.

'Date of birth; the twenty fourth of November, 12:29.' He said to one of the Medi-witches, who quickly wrote it down on a sheet of parchment. She tapped it with her wand and then disappeared through the door.

'Miss Taten, can I get you anything?' the second Medi-witch asked.

'Yes, I want some water.' Rose whispered absentmindedly, looking down at her beautiful baby son. He really was beautiful ... and looked nothing like his Mother save the full red lips. The baby had his eyes closed, but the shape and the lashes were Sirius's. The face was Sirius's. The silky black tresses were Sirius's. The ears were Sirius's. The nose was Sirius's.

The baby was beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. It took Remus's breath away. He touched the silky smooth skin and Rose looked up, smiling at him.

'I want you to be godfather,' she said, yawning tiredly. 'You can be Sirius James Black's godfather.' Then she tiredly opened her eyes. 'Thank you Remus,' she whispered, holding her son closer and letting her eyes close.

Was it ironic that Sirius Black II was born on the twenty fourth of November? Exactly a month before his father who was born of Christmas Eve? But little did Remus know that Sirius's life was coming to a close. Or rather, it was on the verge of coming to a close. And little did Remus and Rose know that right now Sirius had just been captured and was being dragged, half dead by three Death Eaters to Lord Voldemort, kicking and screaming. Little did Remus and Rose know that Sirius had killed and fatally injured some of the Death Eaters in which he would feel the wrath for doing so.

And little did they know that right now he was headed somewhere he might never return from.

* * *

><p><em>AN: You've met Rose and I'd love reviews telling me what you think about her? Is she funny, horrible, a major bitch? Tell me tell me tell me! :) _

_I'm so grateful for the awesome comments I've received, and as you know I've replied to all of them, I'd also like to thank those who have put this on alerts and favourites, but if you could leave a review if you haven't done so._

_Take care_

_-xo_


	11. One's Pain is Another's Gain

_Disclaimer; I don't own anything but the plot and the OCs. Sorry if there are any mistakes, this particular chapter was written on Doc Manager itself._

* * *

><p><em>xoxo <em>

_11. One's Pain is Another's Gain_

_Twenty Fourth of November_

Sirius, with Dolohov's hand wrapped around his throat, was thrown down when they apparated onto the grounds of the Malfoy Manor. Dolohov touched the squirming Dark Mark tattooed into his skin and winced when it burned. But then a cold and evil laugh emerged from his mouth and he peered down at Sirius's face.

'Not so pretty now Black,' he laughed, whispering a spell that had Sirius on the verge of screaming for mercy. But he bit his tongue; he'd be damned if he ever screamed because of that bastard. When the spell was lifted Sirius spat at Dolohov's feet whose face contorted with hatred. He was about to hit Sirius when Carrow grabbed his arm.

'I want to hurt him just as much as you do ... he's ruined my brother. But let's leave him to the Dark Lord, don't bother now,' she whispered urgently, pulling his arm. 'Let's take him inside.' She said softly. Was it just Sirius or could he see something flickering between them. Aw, did Carrow fancy the big bad Dolohov? How sad for her.

Dolohov conjured wires which like snakes, slithered and wound themselves tightly around Sirius's hands. He grunted, feeling the circulation to his hands stem slightly.

Dolohov then grabbed Sirius by his bound arms and dragged him across the grass. Sirius cried out softly, as he felt his body ache. His cracked ribs screamed, and his legs burned. He started choking; finding it hard to breathe as Dolohov dragged him across the hard gravel.

The gates jumped aside and both he and the following Death Eaters hurried up the walkway towards the enormous home. Carrow knocked hard and sharp on the door, and within seconds the pretty and anxious face of Narcissa Black answered.

She gasped. 'You caught him?' she whispered, moving aside to let the three Death Eaters and the one prisoner in. Her steel blue eyes met Sirius's almost identical grey ones and for a second she looked almost sympathetic. Then her expression hardened. 'Where's Lucius?' she whispered. Narcissa frantically looked out of the door. It was almost as if she knew the answer.

'Where is my husband?' she hissed, her eyes pooling with tears. When Alecto Carrow put a hand on her shoulder, Narcissa threw it off. 'Is Lucius dead?' she breathed.

'No, no, but he's been hurt, hurt grievously. It must have been Mulciber, or someone of the likes who took all the injured to Snape's. They'll be healed there.'

Narcissa looked down at Sirius with contempt and then growled, colliding the back of her hand with Sirius's face. The blow forced his neck left and his lip started bleeding faster. He didn't whimper though. He looked up at her and met her eyes. She slapped him again. But the same as before, he didn't show any sign of pain but calmly looked at her.

'He killed my brother,' Sirius said softly. In answer, Narcissa shrieked with pain and loss. But a louder shriek came from the kitchen.

'Take your damn son Narcissa! And who the hell is at the door!' Bellatrix screamed. They heard hard and loud footsteps, and Carrow sunk a little behind Dolohov – she was obviously scared of the mad woman.

When Bellatrix saw them, clustered in the large and spacious hallway before the door, she stopped. Her face showed evidence of Lord Voldemort's wrath for failing the capture of Sirius a few weeks ago. There were dark bags under her eyes, and her face was white and pale. She looked sick. But that was what well executed Cruciatus Curses did.

'Y-you caught him?' her deep voice whispered, ever so softly stepping closer. She pulled out her wand as she continued softly stepping forward, then she sunk to her knees so her face was inches from Sirius's. Her face looked almost as if she had died, died and gone heaven.

Bellatrix tapped his chest with her wand, tracing the tattoos before stroking his matted and bloody hair with her other hand. Then she kissed his forehead.

'My dear cousin, how have you been?'

Bellatrix liked to play with her food. She liked to play then bite viciously. Well Sirius was like that too, and he could play just as good.

His voice was hoarse and quiet but no one was breathing; their every fibre was focused on catching his words. 'I've been good thank you Bella; though my chest hurts ... can I have some water?'

He was making a fool of her, and that did not bode well with a Black. Not one bit. She drew back, ready to hex him when they heard the crack of apparation and the swish of a cloak just outside the door.

The Darkest Lord Voldemort was here.

_xo _

It had been weeks now since Sirius became their secret keeper – about a month ago. And he was still on the run, and James was still so proud of him. Sirius was always a bundle of surprises and this proved that he wasn't the mad and incorrigible and reckless fool most knew him to be.

Lily was tired and in the process of falling asleep on the sofa when the weather report on the WWN was interrupted with breaking news. James, who was in the middle of massaging her feet, threw them off his lap and sat up straight, his eager ears perking up.

Lily jumped up too, she must have thought they were being attacked too but when she heard someone so like a brother to her being mentioned, she sat up as well.

' ... Over three dead Death Eaters left behind. The Aurors have also captured two dead bodies, and three injured or unconscious ones. There were thirteen casualties of this Diagon Alley wreckage. Bystanders during the war between Sirius Black and the Death Eaters have informed us there seemed to be a dozen or more. Black managed to hold them off, and even murdered some of the wanted Death Eaters, as well as paralysing Malfoy and putting Amycus Carrow into a coma, who is of the wanted for the Carrows Massacre. However the Aurors were too late and Black was taken ...'

'NO!' screamed James, jumping up in shock. 'This isn't...' he cried, staring at the WWN with hatred and confusion. 'No, no, no!' Then he kicked the wall and the sofa and started screaming, throwing his arms in the air and punching anything he could get his hands on. It was impossible, it wasn't true. Sirius wasn't ... he hadn't ... it was impossible, this was _Sirius_, he was invincible...

He could hear Lily's breathing, loud and uneven and wheezy.

'... fatally injured, with illegal curses used on him. One of the bystanders said he was set alight, but managed to put it out. Nonetheless, Black has been taken, meaning that the mission he has been assigned by the Aurors has failed. However, if he manages to escape the clutches of He Who Must Not Be Named, after wounding and aiding in the capture of some of his darkest followers, Black will become a world wide hero. Nonetheless, the grievous injuries and torture he had undergone during the battle has had the public questioning just how desperate the Death Eaters and He Who Must Not Be Named are willing to go.'

Another woman started talking in more detail about the battle that had taken place. About a dozen against one man; the sheer power and strength he put into the battle he knew he was losing was something to be remembered. But it wasn't helping James and Lily. The detail from the broadcaster and one of the eye-witness's accounts was too graphic.

James sunk to his knees, moaning. He was shaking his head. This wasn't true; it had to be someone else. Sirius hadn't been caught. His brother had not been caught. They were lying. They were all fucking lying!

'No,' he whimpered, shaking his head and covering his face with his hands. His best friend had not been captured. This wasn't true. Sirius was clever; he was sneaky; he was sly and he was quick – he was Sirius Black. Stubbornly James shook his head. 'No ... uh-huh ... this isn't true,' whispered James. He slowly walked over to the WWN, turning it up.

His best friend had been set on fire; many Unforgiveable Curses had been used; Dark Magic had been cast by both the Death Eaters and Sirius. He had even been hurt by the Death Eaters who resorted to using Muggle fighting.

When the news report ended after fifteen more minutes, and some songs started playing James turned the WWN off. He sat down on the floor near the small and shabby fireplace and stared into the flames. If he tilted his head that way, he could almost see his friend's face.

He could hear sniffling, and didn't know whether it was him of Lily. It was probably both of them. Sometime later, he was joined on the floor by his wife, who took his hand and turned his face to look into her eyes. She wiped the tears streaking down under his glasses; the never ending stream of tears; like a river.

'Look at me darling,' she whispered, pecking his forehead and then his nose and then his lips. 'Jim, he's going to be—'

'DON'T TELL ME HE'S GOING TO BE OKAY!' yelled James, slapping her hand away and jumping up. Then he looked out of the window, with its curtain still open and suddenly an idea sprung to him. He hurried around the house, collecting his jacket and putting his shoes on.

Lily screamed when she realised what he was going to do, and chased him to the front door. 'J-James, what are you doing?' she breathed, grabbing his arm and trying to pull him from opening the door. When he wouldn't budge she started tugging hard on his arm. 'James! JAMES! James please, please—' her shrieks were hysterical and frantic and desperate. 'Please don't do this to me! Please!'

She was begging almost, and her pleas were barely comprehensible but she was begging nonetheless. Lily was begging for James's life, she knew he was going to die. If he left he was going to die.

She tugged again, this time harder. 'James, please – think about what you are doing! THINK FOR ONCE! JUST FUCKING THINK OF WHAT WILL HAPPEN!' Then they heard cries from upstairs, it was Harry. They must have awoken him. His cries were loud and hollering. Her husband looked towards the stairs, almost frightened.

James's eyes looked red, and the tear streaks were still there. His face was scarlet and he looked just about ready to cry. But the determination in his steely and resolute glare made Lily shiver.

'D'you hear that James?' she pleaded, shaking his arm and pulling his gaze towards hers. 'D'you hear him? If you leave ... if you leave then he'll die. I'll die. We'll die without you Jamie, please.' Her voice broke and she started stuttering, her mind going haywire.

'Jamie, Jamie _please._' She pleaded, tenderly holding his face and kissing his lips again and again and again. His whole body sagged and he started sobbing hard sobs. Lily cradled his head, which nestled into her neck. She started kissing his hair and rubbing his back as his arms wrapped around her small body.

'Don't ...' she panted. 'Don't _ever _do something like this to me again.' But her panted words were drowned out by his sobs, and they were heart wrenching and devastated sobs. 'Don't,' she whispered. But she started crying too. And with him, she grieved the brother they knew they were going to lose.

_xo _

_The First of December_

'Rose?' Remus asked hesitantly. She was breast feeding, and didn't care if Remus saw. All her spirit had gone. It was the first of December. A week since Sirius had been captured; a week since Sirius James had been born. And it hurt so badly. The full moon that had passed a few days ago had been the worst he had ever experienced. He had only just gotten out of St Mungo's the day before because it was so severe. The wolf was mourning. The wolf had been grieving a lost friend.

But Sirius wasn't dead yet. He could withstand Voldemort for a week. He could maybe withstand him for longer. But it didn't matter. It hurt so much. Because whether he held out for a week, a month or a year, he would be killed at the end. He'd be dead.

Rose had been grieving differently though. She didn't talk much, and she was barely eating, opting to cuddle up in front of Remus's inherited television (his Father gave it to him in hopes his Mother would stop being so obsessed with it) and nuzzle her son. Sirius James was very small; and extremely adorable. His eyes were the piercing silver Remus had known they would be.

'Yes,' she replied quietly, looking up. Her large plain green eyes were a little red (as if she'd only just stopped crying) and her mouth was trembling. Remus joined her on the sofa, with a cup of tea he had made for her in his hands. He set it down in front of her, and looked at the beautiful baby boy now asleep in her arms.

'I've made you some tea, would you like to eat anything?' his voice was always gentle when he was talking to her. He was scared something he'd say could hurt her, could make her cry again. The day they had returned from the hospital was a sad day. She stayed in her room with her son, crying for Sirius. The next day was a little better; she wrote a letter to her Mother informing her about her son. But Rose never got up from the sofa except to go toilet or to sleep. She never spoke unless spoken too. And she watched nothing but tragedy films or listened to the WWN for any news. It was heartbreaking to watch.

Rose shook her head softly. 'It's alright Remus, I'm not hungry.' She replied in a quiet voice, rocking her sleeping son. Her eyes drifted closed for a second but she opened them quickly.

Remus gently touched her arm. 'Please, please go to sleep Rose. You haven't rested for a week. I'll take care of little Seers, I promise.'

She started shaking her head but when her eyes started closing again she sighed. 'Thank you Remus,' she yawned, covering her mouth. She gently and rather reluctantly handed over her son before kissing Remus on the cheek.

Sluggishly and slowly, she shuffled out of the room. Rose had lost all the weight she'd been carrying when she was pregnant. Well her breasts were still abnormally large and her bum looked bigger too. But she wasn't eating properly and Remus was scared that if this carried on going, she'd be as skinny as he used to be in his first few years of Hogwarts. And that level of skinniness was not attractive.

Remus cuddled the newborn to his chest and whispered soothing songs to keep the boy asleep. He felt guilty – it was supposed to be Sirius doing these things, not him. Had they not always said Sirius would make a great dad – anyone with eyes could see how he was with Harry. And so it was sad to know that Sirius would probably never meet his own son. It was more than sad.

But no, Padfoot would be grateful. He would forever be grateful that Remus took care of the love of his life and his child. Perhaps he could take another day off for tomorrow? He hadn't gone in work today too. But no, he had to go in tomorrow. They were one of the four departments investigating in where Sirius was right now.

Rose could manage by herself. She had too. Because after today Remus was putting mind, body, soul and wolf into this damn investigation. He was going to get his brother back. The newborn started stirring and when he awoke from his very short slumber he didn't cry; which was what Remus had expected. He started grinning at the small baby in his arms who just stared up at him. Just stared patiently, and the look was so similar to his father's gaze that it gave Remus shivers.

_xo _

_The Twenty Fourth of November_

He wasn't sure if it was a cellar or maybe an attic. There were shelves filled with books on one side and a sofa opposite him. The floor had deep burgundy carpet and the walls were ivory. There was only one window in the room, right at the end. So it must be an attic; Sirius thought calmly.

He was thrown down and didn't even have time to put his hands down. Well they wouldn't have been much help. They were bound.

Bellatrix walked past and made very careful steps to scare Sirius, to worry him. It worked but he wasn't going to tell her. He grinned his arrogant and handsome and charming grin at her. When inside he knew he should be shitting himself. He hadn't actually seen Voldemort. Bella and Narcissa immediately stunned him. Maybe Voldemort had seen him?

'You're going to stay here until the Dark Lord finishes with the others.' Bellatrix said softly, sitting on the sofa before Sirius and twisting her wand. Obviously she had been dealt with for the blunder a few weeks ago at the hotel. Her face had betrayed the terror she felt, but there was also admiration and was that a trace of longing flickering over her face too?

Sirius wanted to laugh. 'Were you dealt with too?' he asked, finding the courage to laugh at her. Bellatrix scared him – from a young age. She was almost eight years older than him and a terrifying witch when she wanted to be, which was all the time. Her face turned red with her unfathomable anger and she drew her wand but. But she breathed in deeply and after a minute was able to put her arm back down.

'I see what you're trying to do Sirius, it won't work.'

'Oh but it always worked at Uncle Alphard's. Whenever you upset Regulus I'd get you in trouble by luring you into one of your many terrifying rages in front of my parents. Even then you were evil. I should've put you down myself.'

It was true. Whenever Bellatrix had made Regulus cry (which was often during their early years) Sirius would feel so enraged he knew that he had to get Bellatrix in trouble. And he would – she'd often get hit or sent to one of Alphard's holiday house rooms for the rest of the day. And her parents were really quite powerless against the likes of Orion and Walburga Black.

Bella's beautiful fierce eyes roamed over Sirius's tattoos. They lingered too long on the rose, but when she saw that initials she sighed dramatically. 'It's such a shame Regulus was killed. He had the chance to thrive amongst the Death Eaters and instead he took your cowardly route and tried to escape. I heard it was Lucius who killed him.' And at the pained and infuriated expression from Sirius she knew she struck gold.

'Was that why you paralysed him? I don't think Snape would be able to save him if you used 'Numquam Ambulare', that's Dark Magic cousin. Very Dark Magic indeed. I didn't know you had it in you.' Was she praising him?

'Yeah well, he shouldn't mess with me,' Sirius joked, laughing dryly at the lack of humour. 'Can I go to the loo? Only I'm about to piss my pants, and that's something you really don't want to witness. Or maybe you would, I'm not sure what quirks you're into these days.

Bellatrix smiled sweetly, leaving the sofa and crawling on her knees towards her dear cousin.

'You could have become great,' she said sadly, shaking her head. 'You could have ruled among us Death Eaters, but instead you settle at protecting and battling for the weak.'

Sirius opened his mouth to retort but she placed her finger on his lips. He gulped. Sirius was only a little ... intimidated by Bellatrix Black Lestrange. And he never knew what her next move was going to be. So this was what James and Remus meant when they said his recklessness scared them. Because right now he didn't have a clue what she was going to do to him.

And it was scaring the living daylights out of him.

'You've betrayed us,' she continued, once again running her wand over his face; tracing every feature, most of them similar to hers. 'And the Dark Lord forgives not the traitors.'

Sirius swallowed when she tentatively touched his chest with her wand. 'How am I a traitor, when I was never on your side to begin with?' he replied just as smoothly and silkily. Then they heard the attic down open and when Sirius looked up he started shivering; quite literally.

Remember how he said he wasn't scared of anyone but his Mother? He was wrong. So brutally wrong. The man before him was so terrifying; Sirius felt his bones quiver and his lips tremble and his heart race.

Lord Voldemort was a tall man, roughly the same height as Sirius, maybe a little taller. His black robes were made from silk and fluttered like wings in the gentle breeze from the open attic window across the room. His hair was jet black and his features were handsome. But _he _was not handsome. Lord Voldemort had travelled to the deepest realms of Dark Magic, further than anyone before him, further than anyone ever would travel. The magic was changing him; for his skin was pale but not pale like Sirius's. It was pasty and looked slightly grey. His eyes were scarlet red, not black like they had once been years ago. And the fury in those eyes. _The fury._

Then the Dark Lord smiled. And it was worse than the fury in those eyes; it was so much worse. Sirius felt his heart skip a beat, and his hands start to sweat. He felt his eyes water a little from the fright and his throat dry up.

'Will you excuse us Bella?' the voice was quite, patient and soft. It was what Sirius imagined the Angel of Death sounded like. It was a voice that rattled bones and warmed blood and watered eyes. It was a terrifying voice.

Bellatrix threw herself down, kissing the tips of the silk robes and whispering words that were unintelligible. Abruptly, she jumped up and hurried out of the room with a tentative half glance back to the two wizards. She hurriedly closed the door hard behind herself.

Voldemort sighed and turned back to look at Sirius. He smiled again; one of those smiles. Slowly and deliberately, he took close steps towards where Sirius was huddled. Then he sat down on the sofa Bella had just preoccupied and put a hand under his chin to prop his head up. Voldemort sighed again.

'Sirius Betelgeuse Orion Black,' his quite voice said. Sirius trembled at the sound of his name leaving the Dark Lord's mouth. 'Original heir to the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. One of the seven original families from London. How proud must you be?'

Sirius breathed in three or four times, praying that his voice wouldn't falter. 'Not very proud.' His voice did not falter. The eyes of the Dark Lord flashed dangerously.

'Aren't you proud? You could have inherited the whole fortune. Millions of galleons, houses across Europe, unimaginable power.' His eyes flashed at the mention of power. It was a test. This was all a test.

Hadn't Dumbledore once said Sirius was a man who could handle power? Who could command it and rule it because he wasn't excited or tempted by it? And only if you weren't excited or interested or tempted could you command it. Only then could you rule.

Again, in a voice that was quiet and soft and steady he replied, 'I've never been as intrigued as you or my family by power.'

The Dark Lord raised a delicate black eyebrow. 'Why?'

Sirius shuffled into a more dignified position, so he was now sitting on the ground barely a metre from Lord Voldemort. He set his bound hands on his knee and shook the hair from his eyes. 'Power is something that can change a man. Power is for those who are weak and tempted. I am neither weak, nor am I tempted by power because my family have commanded it since my birth. I have commanded it since my birth, I've used it and seen it, and it's not interesting or tempting at all. Well at least for me, but I'm not sure about the weak...'

Lord Voldemort started clapping sarcastically and laughed loud but his eyes remained like lasers. 'And you think power is for the weak? Power is commanded and controlled by the strong and the fierce. Hmm... I wonder, was I always this ignorant when I was young? Were my beliefs and ideals as warped as your own?' He laughed again.

Sirius jutted his jaw defiantly. 'You asked for my opinion, sir, and I gave it.'

'Yes, yes you did. And now I know the answer to the question I am still going to ask.'

'A bit pointless really,' retorted Sirius in a bland voice. 'Asking a question you know the answer to.' And the Dark Lord laughed heartedly, throwing his head back and chuckling.

'What is that?' he asked, pointing at the stag pendant hung from his neck.

'It's a pendant I was given.' Sirius answered rather calmly, looking down at the stag sitting on top of the initials R.A.B.

The Dark Lord raised an eyebrow, smirking. 'Ah, a gift. From who, your friend? Your friend James?' the cold voice sneered.

Sirius gritted his teeth but managed to ignore the bait. 'Yes, it was a going away gift. He's always been very sentimental. Great friend, you'd like him.'

Again, Voldemort laughed. 'Oh I heard about you. I heard of your humour and your rhetoric and your sarcasm. It's nice to know these few days I'll be entertained. And then after a few days you'll flounder of course.' His scarlet eyes flashed again, this time brighter and more terrifying; like a star. Lord Voldemort leaned forward. 'They always flounder.'

'I don't think I will, at least not in the first few days.'

Voldemort leaned back and rested his hand under his chin again, propping his head up. 'Well then Sirius Betelgeuse Orion Black ... we will just have to see.' Suddenly, Voldemort jumped up, wand in his hand and the torture curse on his lips.

It was such pain. Such unimaginable, inconceivable, unthinkable pain. Sirius had sworn to himself when the Death Eaters had tortured him that he wouldn't scream, he wouldn't cry. But when you felt like you were on fire, when you felt like you were being stabbed again and again all you could think of was the pain. It was like he was drowning. He wished he was drowning. It brought with the pain, death.

But this torture ... this pain wouldn't end in death. Insanity, maybe but Sirius never wanted to be insane. He'd rather die.

All he could feel... he couldn't restrain himself. He couldn't stop the ghost of a cry escaping.

And then, with such passion and pain, Sirius threw his head back – threw his head back and screamed as loud and hard as he could. And the scream tinkled the chandelier; the scream caused a flock of birds to take flight in surprise which had been hovering near the window. The scream caused Voldemort, Lord Voldemort, to laugh. The scream spoke of his pain.

'I'm going to ask you a question,' said Voldemort, ending the curse. 'I am going to ask you a question most in your position would beg for. And I want you to think, ponder and dream ... I want you to muse over everything you could achieve if you say yes. Like most would.'

Sirius started panting, deep and hard pants. Never again did he want to feel that pain. But he knew. If he gave Voldemort what he wanted than he would be discarded, he would be thrown into the Atrium of the Ministry dead, lifeless and without the secret inside him because Lord Voldemort would have gotten what he wanted.

The only thing he had to do was resist. As hard as it seemed, as painful as this was going to be he needed to hold onto the secret and his integrity. And so he grinned, re-splitting his lip because of the hard and wide grin. The grin that stretched from ear to ear. Then Sirius chuckled.

'I am not like most Lord Voldemort; I thought you would have known.'

The spell hit him as hard as a broom; faster than an arrow fired by a centaur; sharp like a knife. Once again the scream that Sirius cried was so loud, it rattled the chandelier and scared the animals outside. Because these screams were a warning. A warning to stay away. To stay _far_ away.

Little did Sirius know that perched at the bottom of the stairs were a cluster of Death Eaters. Narcissa was still in the Manor - she had been ordered to stay inside even though she had begged if she could check on her husband.

Her smile at Sirius's pain was cold and merciless and evil when he screamed again. In her hands was her son Draco, with his white-blond hair and beautiful eyes. Besides Narcissa was her sister, whose face was enigmatic; ecstatic. Carrows and Dolohov were behind the sisters. All the Death Eaters could think about was how jealous they were to not have caused these screams during the battle.

'He'll last three or four days,' Dolohov said, chuckling when Sirius's scream increased in volume. Carrows started chuckling too. But Bellatrix shook her head, her eyes flickering towards the attic door they could see above. She threw her head back, but not out of pain, but rather mirth. And she laughed. Oh how Bellatrix wished she was there to witness this.

Looking at Carrow and Dolohov, she shook her head again. 'He won't last a three or four days. He won't last a week. He'll last longer.' And her eyes met her sister's identical ones. They shared a knowing look. 'He'll last _much_ longer.'

But her sentence was cut off, by another rippling scream. And the Death Eaters waiting at the bottom of the stairs started laughing; deep laughs. Because they despised Sirius Black. And they would do anything to have him killed. To have him in pain.

_xo _

'DAMMIT!' roared Moody, kicking one of the desks. They had captured a few of the Death Eaters – but two of the ones they had managed to reach before the other Death Eaters snatched them, were dead. Of the three conscious ones, one was in a coma and another was in no fit state to talk yet. The third was stubborn, but they hadn't even started interrogating him using _magic_ yet. However this wasn't why Moody was exactly angry again. He was angry because Sirius had been snatched before his eyes mere hours ago.

Moody had watched as Dolohov (a thorn in his backside) wrapped a hand around Sirius's throat and disapparated with two other Death Eaters. The only reason he had known it was Dolohov was because the mask had half come off during the fierce battle.

Dolohov and three other Death Eaters had been added to the list of known followers at large thanks to this battle. Not that Moody hadn't known Dolohov was a Death Eater, but rather because they had never _witnessed_ him doing anything.

When Moody had seen the damage his young protégée was able to create, he had been very close to crying with pride. Had his little protégée really battled against ten or so Death Eaters (they didn't know the exact number) and managed to survive. But he had been captured. Sirius Black had been captured.

Moody had been waiting for this, the day his young trainer would be caught. And he was hurt. He had never gotten so attached before to one of his Aurors, and this was one of the reasons why. Though if it wasn't for the anger at Sirius Black's capture, and the raw emotion that it spiked in Moody, he wouldn't have battled so fierce and dangerously.

And people said he was getting old – he was still in his mid-fifties! Not old at all compared to Dumbledore.

'JOHN!' shouted Moody. Immediately, the replacement for Black hurried into the room. He was a very good fighter, spectacular. But his powers of deduction were pitiful, no comparison to Sirius's.

'Yes sir!' John wasn't as exciting or as funny. Moody hadn't laughed since Black left, and he desperately wished for someone to make him piss his pants laughing, a feat that Black was terribly proud of, and reminded him of often.

'Get Crouch for me; tell him I'm scheduling a meeting in his office in an hour. Then tell him I want a full meeting in two, three days with all the Heads of Departments and other important people.' John nodded and rushed from the room, no doubt to construct a memo. Moody sunk down in his chair and put his feet up on the table.

It had only been three hours since Black's capture. He was going to order a search party – Dolohov couldn't have gone far. And Moody had seen Lucius Malfoy; if the Death Eaters had fled to any house it would be the Malfoy Manor. The house was big, and away from wizards with incredible Protection Spells.

But he needed a warrant to search the house, because he was getting his little protégée back. Still, they had won in a way. As soon as Amycus Carrow got out of his coma (if he survived, which he probably wouldn't) then they were going to interrogate him before throwing him in Azkaban. He was the only Death Eater high up that they had caught.

But they were going to bribe Carrow with the promise that they would set him free afterwards of course – the policy now was _'By Any Means Necessary!'_

The policy was dark of course, and Barty Crouch was getting as cold as the Death Eaters, but it was necessary. Moody didn't like it though. He wanted to be different to the Death Eaters and You-Know-Who, not the same. And what they did justified as the same.

Yes, he was going to fix this by getting back the best damn Auror they had! Sirius had risked too much by staying secret keeper for the Potters. And though the ignorant, arrogant fool was too blind to see it, he was going to die.

Voldemort would make sure of it. He'd use whatever tactics he had to get the information and then he'd wreak havoc on the young man. And Black had so much to live for. Who knew? In ten years he could damn well have Crouch's job! In fifteen Moody could see him as Minister. He was such a promising lad, and he was so kind and fun. It was a shame. It really was.

Moody conjured a glass, and poured some firewhiskey into his glass. He sipped it, sighed and then sipped again. It really was such a shame.

* * *

><p><em>AN: I'm worried how you guys might take my view on Voldemort, and the way I've written him and his dialogue. I find him extremely hard to write as, because he's Voldemort after all, he's got too much swag going on ;]_

_Leave a comment pleasepleaseplease, about what you think of Voldemort maybe, or Bellatrix or any other character, or about this chapter. Especially if you haven't left your thoughts yet._

_Thanks for reading, and reviewing, _

_Take care _

_-xo_


	12. Who Can Make You Scream the Loudest?

_Disclaimer; I do not own anything but OCs and the plot, thanks guys!_

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><p><em>xoxo<em>

_12. Who Can Make You Scream the Loudest?_

'Think about it Sirius,' Lord Voldemort whispered gently almost like a caress and waving his wand so the binds on Sirius's hands disappeared.

Immediately, he curled up into a foetus position just as the door shut gently. His whole body was quivering in pain, and his whimpers were quiet but there. He had never imagined such pain; more than once he almost begged to die. But he held onto the little dignity he had and took it like a man. And the pain was worse than all those Death Eaters combined when they tortured him in Diagon Alley. The sun was rising, and he couldn't believe it had only been a few hours since his capture. It felt like days already. Maybe it was just the pain getting to him...

But Voldemort was offering him a place; a home in the tight circle of Death Eaters. Wasn't that all Sirius had ever wanted? A home – somewhere to feel needed and special; a feeling he had never been indulged in when he was a small boy.

But he already had a home, with the best damn brothers he would ever have and the cutest little sister and the most adorable godson. Weren't they his family? He didn't need a home with Lord Voldemort; he couldn't believe he had been considering it. Sirius almost puked on the carpet he was lying on. See! The Dark Wizard was already getting to him; he was considering handing over the most important people to him. And he'd never felt more sick with himself.

Sirius looked a fright. His face and hair were matted with dried blood; and a lot of it. Apart from a few bruises, and his split lip which had swollen to twice its natural size, he didn't have any actual wounds on his face.

But the main scars were inside him. His body was _still _screaming with pain. He had never experienced something as horrible and torturous as Lord Voldemort's Cruciatus Curse. Sirius managed to get himself on the sofa; a task that took the best part of ten minutes. Apart from the damage he was feeling, and his cracked ribs and his horribly soar throat, he felt very hungry.

And he had been serious to Bellatrix when he said he needed the loo. He felt his bladder start to moan too, adding to the long list of pain he was feeling. Would Sirius have done this if he knew how hard it was going to be?

But the image of Lily and James dead in Godric's Hollow was enough to sober him up. He ducked his head in shame. If he had the chance to redo things, he'd keep it all the same – he'd stay their secret keeper until death. Quite literally.

The door opened and he looked up, cuddling to the sofa impulsively. But it wasn't the darkest wizard to have ever roamed the earth. It was Narcissa; his _dear_ cousin. The look she had given him downstairs when she slapped him was enough to make his whole body tremble. She hated him; she hated him so much for what he'd done to Malfoy.

The man would be paralysed his whole life; it was dark and evil magic that could only be lifted by the curser. And he'd be damned if he restored Malfoy to his original state after the man murdered his brother.

Narcissa closed the door behind her. She had a glass of water in her hands, and her beautiful long blonde hair tucked behind her ear. Her eyes were red and bloodshot, and there were tear marks on her face. She stood there and looked at her cousin. His bare back was red, and the muscles in his arms were straining and quivering.

'The Dark Lord ordered me to bring you water,' she whispered in a very childlike voice. 'He doesn't want you dying.' She set the water down in the middle of the carpet. 'Yet.' Then she looked at Sirius, a bone rattling glare. 'You don't know what you've gotten yourself into.' Again, her voice was barely above a whisper, and it was shaking.

Sirius reached for the glass of water, ignoring her. And it was almost as if he had died and gone to heaven. The water soothed his soar throat, and put out the fire kicking and screaming inside him chest. He closed his eyes and savoured every sip. And when it finished, he sighed and put it down.

'Thank you.' He said. Then he looked out of the small attic window that was open. 'Will I stay here long?'

'I'm not going to tell you,' Narcissa snapped, collecting the glass of water. 'The Dark Lord shall do whatever he pleases to you, and there is not a thing you can do about it! Unless of course you give up the secret, which even I know you won't do.'

'You're right; I won't tell him a thing. Either way I am a dead man, correct?'

'No, _no,_ you're wrong. If you tell the Dark Lord then he'll offer you a place amongst us Death Eaters, where you can prosper and thrive.'

Sirius looked up at her, tucking his own dirty black hair behind his ear. 'And what is _your job_ amongst the Death Eaters?' he asked, knowing that she would not have an answer.

Narcissa opened her small mouth twice and then closed it. After a moment's silence she seemed to have come up with the pathetic excuse she would use to answer the question. 'I have a young son; I am not expected to perform the duties one must perform when they are within our circle. But I do however heal and feed the Death Eaters! And I pick up packages and parcels, which would for anyone else spike suspicion, as well as provide alibis.'

Sirius scoffed, grating his throat and wincing at the hot fire that flamed inside his neck. He coughed once and then looked up at her. 'You didn't want to become a Death Eater...' he said softly. 'You were pushed into it, weren't you?'

When she averted her eyes and looked down guilty he knew he was right. 'You were forced by Malfoy and Bellatrix isn't that right?'

Narcissa desperately looked at him, flicking a glance towards the door. 'No, you're wrong!' she suddenly exploded, stepping forward and slapping him for the third time since he had gotten here. She really knew how to deliver slaps. 'You are wrong Sirius, and you will always be wrong.'

And then she snatched the glass from the floor and hurriedly exited the room, slamming the door behind her. In relief, Sirius sagged back down. He felt his eyes drifting, his mind slipping. And it was bliss. Compared to the torture Voldemort had subjected him too, this was wonderful.

Sirius coughed into his hands, and then put his head back down. He was surprised. He had always imagined after being captured, to be shoved into a dungeon with black walls and bars, and no windows. He had imagined chains. Was this Voldemort's way of lulling him into a false sense of security? Because it wasn't going to work. Not for the life of Sirius was it going to work. He was on alert – not until he escaped, or he died was Sirius going to relax. This was a war, quite literally. A war he knew he was losing, but a war he was going to battle in anyway.

And he would make sure Voldemort knew what he was getting himself into. Sirius was not going to be easy, he was going to be difficult and childish and stubborn. His Mother said that he had never given her a break; always demanding attention and wanting fights. Well he'd give Voldemort a fight. Sirius's eyes closed, but it seemed bare minutes he'd slept before the door was thrown open. And prancing in like the home was his, was of course Avery, followed by Dolohov and two unknown Death Eaters.

Sirius's body started trembling again, but he wouldn't let them know he was scared. 'Good morning ... it is the morning right?'

Avery threw his head back and laughed, 'I told you he was funny. Good morning Sirius.'

'Hey Emmett. How's your day been?'

'Well it's been rubbish, but it's going to get better now I can have a taste of you.' He smirked, bringing his wand upwards.

_Procrastination was the key to survival._ Well, sometimes anyway.

'Nice new wand, what happened to your old one?' Sirius's voice was fading – talking took to much effort and energy.

'Some bastard broke it ... Oh wait, it was you.'

Sirius sarcastically laughed. 'I haven't been introduced to your friends, what are your names?'

And the horror Sirius felt when one of the Death Eaters ripped off his mask and sneered at Sirius. Beach blond hair and a white face, it was Crouch's son. He almost fell off the sofa in shock. He'd been working for Crouch Senior since he was nineteen! The man had complimented him more than once, and Sirius trusted and respected the wizard a great deal. And yet here his son was, sneering at Sirius with his white wand pointed.

'Crouch's son,' Sirius whispered in disbelief after moments of gaping and shaking his head. 'I-I can definitely say this is unexpected ... Wait, you do _know _who your father is, right?' he asked. Sirius remembered Crouch's son from Hogwarts. The young man was barely younger than him – a year or two years was it?

Crouch Junior's face contorted with exasperation and fury. 'Of course I know who my Father is you fool. Do you know who your pathetic brother _was?_'

Sirius growled and made to get up off the sofa when wires and robes were conjured, binding around his hands like they had been a few hours ago. Then with a powerful Rejection Spell, he was thrown backwards, hitting the shelves and falling. Books started collapsing on him, thumping his head with their hardback covers. Sirius roared and got up, kicking Dolohov as hard as he could just as someone whispered the Cruciatus Curse.

'Crucio,' Crouch hissed. Sirius slowed down and fell on his knees, a flicker of pain rippling across his face and a hiss escaping his mouth. But he'd be damned if he screamed for these cocky bastards. Then a sharper stab of pain hit him and he grunted loud; a grunt was better than a scream though.

When it was lifted, Sirius started panting, clutching at his chest and wiping his eyes. Then the Death Eaters started laughing at him. Sirius was a proud man; it was a trait very common amongst Blacks. He hated when people laughed at him, or misunderstood him. It was one of the main reasons he had gotten in many fights during Hogwarts.

James and Peter and Remus had always said he was so easy to start fights with. Just a taunt or a jab and he'd be off like a rocket. And he agreed. But it wasn't exactly his fault. It was his genes and his parents for passing down the damn Black curse of too much pride and bucket loads of dignity.

Sirius looked up at Crouch from the ground where he was kneeled and raised an eyebrow. A challenge.

'Is that the best you've got?' he sneered, spitting on the ground near Crouch's feet.

_xo _

Rose took off the flowery dress she was wearing. It had been Sirius's favourite. She was going with Remus to the Ministry of Magic. They were off to see Moody and a few other Head of Departments for a sort of meeting slash update. It might even be a party for all she knew.

But Rose was so nervous, so nervous her body was trembling. She hadn't left the house (except the garden at the back of the flats) ever since she came here.

Was she ashamed? Remus was a kind person, and if her choice to not tell Sirius about the baby pissed _him_ off, what would it do to others? And if some crazy miracle happened and Sirius was able to return, what would he do? Rose was scared of Sirius, just like she knew she scared him a little. But with a few soothing gasps of air, Rose sucked up her fright. It wouldn't do well.

'Rose?' called Remus. 'Hurry up love,'

She looked towards the door. Was it weird that she had started to fancy Remus a little? Just a small part. Even though she had fancied Remus for months during Hogwarts, she felt guilty, and like that wasn't a liable reason for fancying him now.

Maybe it was because Sirius wasn't here and he was, maybe it was all the hormones raging through her body. But she longed to kiss someone; it had been so long since she'd been kissed. Rose took one more look at the dress, and opted instead for a darker one – dark grey. She shrugged on her beige coat and wrapped a scarf around her neck.

Remus sat waiting for her in front of the television with dark expensive robes on. Ever since he'd gotten the job, he'd been sending half his weekly wages to his parents (which was quite a bit!) and used the rest for Rose and her son and himself.

Remus grinned down at baby Sirius, who was dribbling a little. He wiped the dribble and stared into the baby's eyes. They were large and brimmed with thick lashes. The eyelids were lavender, and the irises were deep grey with small flecks of dark grey. Sirius James had very beautiful eyes.

'I'm ready,' Rose said, coming out with her coat shrugged on. She looked very pretty. Her long and heavy hair was drawn into a thick bun in the centre of her head, and she was wearing a very little amount of makeup.

Rose had only ever worn makeup to try and impress Sirius at Hogwarts, or to keep a hold of his heart. But she never wore it for herself. She was also surprisingly skinnier than she had been _before_ her pregnancy, and the dress was a little baggier than usual. In fact the only reason she bought it was because it stuck to her, quite literally like water.

'You look beautiful Rose,' Remus said, smiling at her. 'Have you got everything though? For mini Pads?'

She patted the large bag she was carrying. Then Rose started breathing in deeply. After a few seconds, she started hyperventilating. Remus settled Sirius James into the baby-carrier carefully and rushed forward, putting his hand on her chin. 'Rose, are you alright?'

Tears started running down her face, and she was shaking her head, a few tresses of golden hair spilling around her face. 'N-no, I'm n-not alright. W-what if e-everyone things the s-same as y-you did?' she sobbed, covering her face. Remus pulled her chin up and looked into her pale green eyes.

During Hogwarts, when Sirius had been trying to persuade James or himself to _dump _Rose, he wrote about everything wrong with her. And so Sirius had always said she had plain eyes; her irises a boring and pale green. But when he had been telling the Marauders _why_ he was so in love with her, Sirius would say how she had beautiful eyes - with light lashes, and pale eyelids and the flecks of different colours that flashed when she was sad or happy.

Sirius had always had a love-hate relationship with Rose, and in some ways the two were so bad for one another that it would be better if they weren't together. But sometimes they fit so right, they looked so perfect that Remus couldn't imagine it any other way.

'They won't understand about the situation like I did. I'm not sure if we should go at all anyway. It might be dangerous. But I thought it would do you some good.'

'I'm scared,' she whispered. Remus had never seen Rose cry over something so trivial; so unimportant. Sure, he'd seen her cry when her heart had been broken or she had lost family, but here she was, crying because of what people might say. The Rose he knew didn't give a hippogriff's arse about what people thought.

But this wasn't the Rose he knew. This was a more mature one. And he wasn't sure if he liked it. He opened his arms and drew her in for a hug. She wrapped her arms around him and cuddled closer.

Then when she let go, she wiped her eyes, tucked the locks of hair behind her ears and plastered on a smile. 'Are we disapparating or flooing?'

Rose was only just beginning to understand how hard it was to be a parent. She was ignorant and confused but Remus always tried to help her. So he didn't laugh at her question like James would have, had Prongs been here instead of himself. Everyone knew you never took children under three in the floo.

Remus smiled at her, and instead of what Prongsie would have done, he answered the very simple question in a patient voice. 'Disapparation. It's much safer, and a little faster.' When all the spells were cast on the flat to protect it, and the pair made sure they had everything, Remus took Rose's hand and disapparated, Sirius James nestled safely in the baby carrier.

They arrived in the Atrium with many witches and wizards bustling around, some dressed up for meetings whilst others looked scruffy for fieldwork.

Many of the passers greeted Remus, and he smiled back. When they reached the Law Enforcement office, there were many people inside, sitting and waiting or standing and chatting. Immediately Jane came hurrying up to Remus with a few folders in her hands, and her dressed rather beautifully. She looked beautiful. But she stopped though when she saw Rose and the baby.

Slowly walking towards them, Jane smiled. 'Good evening Remus and ... you must be Rose?'

Rose plastered on a fake smile. 'Yes, I'm Rose.'

Jane peered into the baby carrier with the same smile most people had whenever looking at babies, but when she looked up, it was as though she had seen the devil, lying naked in her bed, with a pretty large co—

Her eyes turned enormous and they started bulging. 'Is that the son of whom I think?' she hissed. Remus took her hand and pulled her closer towards him. He could smell her soft perfume, and her fragranced hair. And he was slightly mesmerised. But he shook himself out of it and put on an annoyed face.

'Yes, it's Sirius's son, but please, stay quiet. Rose doesn't want everyone...'

It was too late; many older women were crowding around Rose like old women tended to do when there was a baby nearby. Rose looked horrified. She glanced towards Remus with a sad and pleading face.

'Is that Sirius—'

'It can't be! Who are you, dear girl?'

'Sirius Black! He looks just like Sirius Black—'

'My God!'

And it went on and on, quite literally. Some of the seniors in the Ministry still hadn't arrived, and Rose looked near tears when for ten minutes she was being harassed quite literally. Some were scolding her whereas others didn't believe the baby belonged to Sirius.

When she burst into tears Remus quite rudely told the older women to leave her alone, and he accompanied Rose to the witches' bathroom, where luckily no one was inside.

'I'm so sorry Rose,' he said, stroking her hair as she rested her head on his shoulder. 'Do you want to go? We can go now...'

She shook her head. 'No, you've missed too much because of me. It's been nine days since Sirius was kidnapped, and I'm no closer to accepting it than I am getting over him. But please don't make me drag you down too.'

She tentatively touched his face, and they looked deep into each other's eyes. She looked into his pale brown, almost golden irises and felt mesmerised. She _was_ mesmerised. Flashbacks of when she and Emanuelle Danté used to stalk Remus to the library or to the Black Lake came swarming back.

Rose was sure she was the one who leaned in first, but she pressed her lips against his, and they were so soft, much like Sirius's. Her mind conjured memories of her kisses with Sirius. Strong and passionate; warm and cold; soft and hesitant; fast and hard.

And with her life did she miss him; with every fibre in her body. Never had she thought she would get like this over a man. But she was completely in love with Sirius, and it was all her fault they ended. She ran away from him first, and boy did she regret it. This kiss was gentle and warm and sweet, just like Remus's personality. And she was enjoying it immensely.

Remus pulled away quickly after seconds of kissing. 'I'm sorry!' he said.

She shook his head. 'It's not your fault, it's mine ... Go back in there to Jane and kiss _her _to get our amazing kiss out of your head; well any kiss with me would be amazing but...'

'How did you...'

'I could tell Remus, I'm not an idiot anymore. I could tell by the way you were looking at her, and she's lucky. You're so lovely Remus.' And then she started crying again, giant tears falling down her face. He brushed then for her and kissed her head.

'You're lucky to have Sirius you know, he's the best person I know.'

'He's also the worst.' She whispered. 'Now get back in there, I'm going to freshen up.' At his tilted head she smiled. 'If I'm not back in ten minutes you can come get me.'

He grinned at her, touched her cheek and then hurried out so he wouldn't be missing anything important – that is if Crouch turned up. Cocky bastard was always late.

During his ten minute absence Crouch had arrived, and so had Moody. This was early for Moody, who was never on time for anything. Moody was giving a gruff speech about—

'... when the rescue will be, but we've got good sources in telling us whereabouts he is. We'll need to confirm this, using our interrogation methods on the captured Death Eaters. But we should be rescuing Sirius before the end of the year. Mark my words...'

Rose had slipped back in the large room, with its extinguished lights and most people sitting down watching Mad-Eye Moody talking about Sirius Black.

She softly smiled at the thought of him being rescued. He was going to be safe; he was going to live. And she wouldn't have to worry about her son living without a Father. He was going to have a Father! He was going to meet his Father!

She stepped closer to Remus, dropping the carrier on the floor in between them and cradled her son in her arms. She still had some money left from the thousands of galleons Sirius had given her. It was only a few hundred, but she begged Remus if she could pay for half the bills and some of the food. Rose didn't want Remus thinking she was using him.

Then the lights switched back on, and Moody nodded at Remus in acknowledgement and understanding that the younger man would want to become part of this task in saving his friend. Softly and slowly, almost like in slow motion, he looked at Rose – barely recognising her. Then his eyes drifted to the baby in her arms and he froze.

Ever so slowly he stepped forward, with wide eyes. 'Is that Black's son?' he called gruffly in anger and annoyance and disbelief and confusion. Rose stepped closer to Remus. 'Is that Black's son?' Moody called louder.

She nodded. And before she knew it, cameras were snapping pictures of her and Sirius James Black.

_xo _

His throat hurt from suppressing the screams; but his throat wasn't strong enough to hold back the grunts and the moans. And his eyes were bulging enormously, and the tears were falling down his face. The sick bastard Death Eaters had been at this for over an hour, and his body was screaming. He was so close to screaming. But he bit his tongue and groaned loudly when a particularly hard jab of the Cruciatus Curse hit him.

Then it was lifted and he sagged down onto the floor, gasping for oxygen. Maybe it would help extinguish the fire that was blazing inside him. He needed water. The attic door then opened, and Narcissa entered with what he'd been wishing for - a glass of water and some old, stale bread. She paused when she saw the four Death Eaters.

'I didn't know you guys were still here—'

'You're feeding him?' hissed Crouch, spitting all over the place. 'What part of torture don't you understand? You don't _feed _him.'

She defiantly lifted her chin and bared her teeth. 'I'll just tell the Dark Lord you think it best we don't feed Black, but instead let him die of starvation where inevitably the secret will die with him. You fool... I don't take your orders; I take the Dark Lord's.'

She barged past Avery and the Death Eater whom Sirius had acquainted with, well in actual fact he had been acquainted with the nasty wizard's wand but nonetheless – the man was the cousin of Dolohov and his name was Crabbe. Sirius knew him of course; he knew the Crabbe family (well one Crabbe in particular, whose name was something like Dorothy, and was spectacular in bed). They weren't even really worth knowing.

The family were purebloods quite literally because of their blood. But they weren't one of the seven originals, nor were they particularly rich and powerful in the eyes of families like Blacks and Malfoy; merely there to run errands and do jobs.

Narcissa set the food in front of Sirius, who stubbornly didn't eat. He wasn't going to beg for food; he was too proud. Nor was he going to eat stale bread and a half glass of water. Then he'd look like a fool, a joke, and if all he had was his pride he was leaving with his pride.

'You don't want to eat?' whispered Crouch after a moment, bending down and snatching the glass of water from the ground. 'Why don't you have a shower then?' and he poured the water all over Sirius's head. The water washed away some of the blood from his face and hair. But Sirius hadn't even noticed. All he noticed was the pain, the immense, startling pain.

Sirius gritted his teeth. His patience snapped. 'You call yourself a Death Eater? And yet you can't even perform the Cruciatus Curse! None of you fools can.'

'You are right Sirius,' said a quiet voice. All eyes flickered towards the door, where Lord Voldemort was standing with his wand in his hand and a patient smile on his face. He stepped into the room, and all five Death Eaters threw themselves on the floor, bowing their heads low.

'My Lord,' they whispered one after the other. Sirius almost found it comical. Almost. Except his body was already vibrating from the pain he knew Voldemort would inflict upon him. He had never felt something so painful; so powerful. Sirius's lip started to tremble and his hands started shaking gently. Lord Voldemort noticed this and smiled widely, his eyes flashing red.

'You see how he is scared? None of you command his fear except me. Watch. I will show you how a Cruciatus Curse is performed... I'm honoured you are scared of me Sirius; it shows you aren't arrogant as most think. Say, have you made a choice yet?'

He looked Voldemort in the eye and smiled a fake and tight smile that betrayed the hatred he felt, the overwhelming, all consuming hatred. 'Yes, yes, but I thought you would give me more time to "think it through". I've barely had time to ponder what with Death Eaters barging in and torturing me.'

The Dark Lord laughed gently. 'Yes, you can have as much time as you need. In fact, I'm giving you till the first of December. You've already had one day, now you have six more.'

Sirius grinned, a fake and yet infuriatingly real grin. If a grin _could_ be fake and real at the same time. Then one of those looks flickered into Lord Voldemort's eyes. It was cold, bloodthirsty anger that echoed from his red eyes.

'Six days? So generous my Lord.' He whispered, his throat rasping and pleading for something cold to quench the thirst.

'Do you want, Sirius Black, to see how generous I can be?' whispered Lord Voldemort, looming closer to the slumped and half naked boy on the floor. Because to Lord Voldemort he was just a boy; arrogant and stubborn and infuriating.

'Yes my Lord, I'd love to see just how generous you can be.' There was a challenge in his eyes. Barely having time to suck in as much oxygen as possible, the curse hit him. Like a rocket. For barely longer than half a minute he managed to hold out of screaming; and the Death Eaters exchanged baffled and shocked looks. No one _ever _held out on the Lord's infamous torture curse.

Voldemort's face contorted with anger and fury, and he bellowed louder. And Sirius, poor Sirius could barely hold it back – he tried so hard but it was impossible. And when the pain grew so unendurable and unbearable Sirius just had to open his mouth and scream. Everyone in the house could hear it; and like the night before the chandelier shook and the birds flew away. And the crouching Death Eaters shivered.

For once in their lives they did not envy Black. Not one bit.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! I'd also like to say thank you to some of the anonymous reviewers; your reviews have been really kind and constructive. I just wish I could reply!_

_I'd also like to say how funny I find it that quite a few of you don't like Rose. Is it weird that I sort of intended you to not like her? I've read all these fanfics where the OC Sirius winds up with is sweet and kind and clever, but I wanted to have my own unique OC. And I do honestly believe if Sirius ever wound up with someone, it'd be a girl just like him. Wild, proud, arrogant, fun etc. I don't think it would be someone overly kind and cleverer than him. _

_Rose is quite the bitch though, so I do understand why no one really likes her. But you have to admit though, she's pretty entertaining? And she'll get more entertaining as the story goes on. _

_And thanks for reading, please leave a review, _

_xo_


	13. A Small Piece of Freedom

_Disclaimer; I do not own Harry Potter, but rather the plot and the OCs._

* * *

><p><em>xoxo <em>

_13. A Small Piece of Freedom_

_The Twenty Fifth of November_

This time it was Bellatrix who came. She set the glass of water and a brown banana at the door. Well Sirius always had liked bananas. When he had finished, and set it back down on the floor, he fell onto the sofa and sighed.

His cousin walked up to him, twirling the ends of her hair. 'The Dark Lord has asked me ... He has asked me to ask you what you would like.'

Sirius looked up at her, not believing what she was saying. 'Aside from glasses of water once a day, and brown bananas. Hmmm... Well I would appreciate a few more books to read; I've read all of those ones you see.'

Her face contorted with anger and she whipped out her wand; faster than a broom. She pressed the tip into Sirius's neck, and he found it hard to breathe. Hadn't he always said even the slightest pressure on one's neck could make them feel breathless.

'Give me a reason, give me a reason dear cousin and I swear...' she whispered, maliciously smiling. Then she released him, smirking. Sirius swallowed, breathing in faster, especially when touched the dry blood on his face before bringing her finger closer to her face to examine. Softly, she licked his blood and smiled.

Sirius actually felt nauseous, very nauseous. 'Does it taste nice?' he asked. When Bellatrix opened her eyes, she split into a rather radiant beam. She seemed to be coming out of a trance, because the insatiable fury her eyes had shown moments before had now disappeared.

'It tastes magnificent. If only I could spill some to taste; dry blood isn't nearly as ... satisfying as running blood.'

He would have vomited, but he had barely anything in his stomach to upchuck anyway. Gagging, Sirius looked away. He remembered when he had seen Caroline at Hogwarts, his old Art teacher. He remembered her telling him to paint, and him thinking "unless Voldemort provides me with a canvas and some paint". Well now he could, after all he really did want to paint.

'I want a canvas then, and some oil paints.' He told her. 'If Voldem—'

Bellatrix had backhanded him so sudden and hard his healing lip split open again, the blood dribbling down his chin and dripping onto his bare chest. Her eyes were large and popping, and her hair seemed to cackle with electricity.

'DON'T YOU EVER SPEAK HIS NAME! YOU FILTHY, DIRTY BLOOD TRAITOR! DON'T YOU EVER SPEAK HIS NAME!' she cried hysterically, pointing her wand at him and daring him to speak. Usually, if it were any other circumstances, Bellatrix would have cursed him already. Come to think of it, she hadn't cursed him at all since he came.

Which was very unlike her, very unlike her indeed. Maybe she was forbidden? It would explain the tedious tasks of running around, bringing him food and asking him questions the Dark Lord wanted an answer to.

'Oil paints and a canvas,' Sirius told her calmly. For hundreds of seconds she seemed to be vibrating with restrained and tamed anger that so desperately wanted to explode out of her; the infamous Black fury. And he was actually impressed that Bellatrix managed to restrain herself from cursing the living daylights out of him.

She crouched down on her knees until her forehead was almost touching his. Looking him deep in his piercing grey eyes, with her long tongue flicking out Bellatrix licked the blood from his chin and his neck. Then she slowly withdrew and closed her eyes once more, like she had done before. Savouring the taste of his blood, Bellatrix pocketed her wand and waltzed out of the room.

As soon as she was gone, Sirius wiped his neck and chin furiously, gagging. She made him quite honestly, want to puke. He was still in shock. Who does stuff like that?

Bellatrix Black Lestrange; that's who.

Putting his abhorrent cousin at the back of his mind Sirius wondered whether he would really get what he had asked for. Or was this some sort of joke. Was it Voldemort's way of lulling him into a false sense of security? It wouldn't work – Sirius was smarter than that.

He stood up on shaky legs and went over to the window. It overlooked the front of the house, where he remembered camping for a few days outside. He could still see the cover of bushes, and a mile or so off was a very large cluster of trees. On the other side was a Muggle railway station. He needed to remember. Sirius wasn't going to wait here to die; he needed to get the fuck out of the Malfoy Manor. As soon as possible, but without his wand it would really be quite hard.

He still had one trick up his sleeve that no one but five others knew. And he would use it for his escape. He smiled.

_xo _

Moody peered down at the baby in Rose's arms for the thousandth time that day. Then he looked up, his fake eye whizzing around fervently. But his human eye was on the baby's face. Moody couldn't deny the baby was his Father, through and through.

He grunted. 'Humph, looks just like him,' his voice was gruffer than he intended. 'Sirius doesn't know?' he asked. When Rose nodded Moody sighed. 'Would've helped dissuade that cocky little shit.' He said, and when Remus smiled softly Moody laughed.

'It would have...' replied Remus. 'At least he has a surprise to come home to.' And when yet another wizard snapped a picture of him, Rose and Moody and Sirius James, Remus snapped.

'Stop!' he said, his eyes flashing dangerously. With the wolf still so near the surface, he was scared for everyone around him. 'If you take one more picture...' he whispered with the threat hanging in the air. And then Remus jolted. These pictures were probably going to be in magazines and the Daily Prophet the next day! And he couldn't allow that. How could he have been so stupid?

How could he endanger Rose and her son like this? He'd bought them to a party where inevitably the whole world would find out about the secret Black son who'd been born over a week ago.

Oh God. And the Death Eaters might use Sirius James as leverage. They might kidnap him and take the boy to his Father, commanding the secret. Remus could have punched himself, he would have, had Moody not suddenly snapped too.

'Lupin! Lupin we need to get all these cameras!' Moody snapped, grabbing the closest camera from a skinny and shy wizard. 'Delete every picture of this camera laddie,' he growled. 'Or else I'll break your neck.' And the young wizard squeaked, pulling out the film from inside the camera and whimpering as he set it on fire, then handing the camera over to Moody.

It was a bit of a hold up, as Moody and several other Aurors made sure there were no pictures of Sirius Black's son. And they tried to make sure no one left, but perhaps there had been others who dashed as soon as they got a picture? Maybe to sell it to a newspaper first.

Remus, the whole time, sat in the corner, despising himself. How could he be so stupid? If anything happened to his godson and Rose he would always blame himself. When Moody nodded from across the room, Remus sighed in relief and made his way to the door, with the Mother and son in pursuit.

Rose smiled to herself. 'Thanks Remus, I didn't really want any pictures. Well I wouldn't have minded if the pictures were only of me, but...'

Remus nodded absentmindedly and picked up the baby carrier. 'You haven't eaten all day, d'you want us to stop by somewhere and get food?' he asked her, his concern very evident to even Moody. If anyone else saw them, they might think a relationship had started between the young Mother and the werewolf.

She shook her head, more tresses spilling out from the enormous blonde bun and falling to frame her face. 'I'm not hungry,' she said.

Remus lifted her chin up to meet his gaze. 'They're going to save Sirius, he's going to come back Rose, and he won't want to return home and see just skin and bones and a washed out personality in place of the love of his life.'

Rose scratched her forearm and then put on her coat hanging on a peg near the door. 'Okay ... but could we get pizza?'

Remus smiled.

In truth Rose was very hungry; she had been hungry since she gave birth to her son. But not necessarily for food, though it did contribute. No, she was hungry for love and lust and adoration. She wanted Sirius back so much. And she wished she made different decisions when she found out she was pregnant.

On March the fifteen, Rose found out she was about a month pregnant. She must have gotten pregnant during her Valentine's Weekend with Sirius. And she panicked. She packed her bags, got a flight for Australia the next day and hastily told Sirius. Of course that bitch Lily Evans interfered and shouted at her in front of everyone before slapping Rose.

She knew she deserved it though, but it didn't stop her from wanting to beat the daylights out of that pristine little bitch. Rose had quite honestly disliked Lily since their first few months at Hogwarts. But it grew into hate when she saw that Lily was the object of James's admirations. And Rose had fancied James for so long.

Her ten month long relationship with James was on and off, but it was fun and everything she thought it would be. She remembered when Sirius started liking her, and she made him chase just for the pure fun of it. She remembered how James broke up with her, and Sirius swooped in, taking her heart and her virginity. On James's bed as well.

It had been Rose's idea to do it on James's bed. She wanted to hurt him like he hurt her. In all honesty, her relationship with Sirius was born with the jealousy and hatred she had for James.

But in spite of all of this, the best choice she had ever made was to keep the baby. She couldn't believe her Mother considered abortion. But then again, her Mother had Rose when she as sixteen; dropping out of Hogwarts. Her mother knew of the hardships of having a child at a young age.

It was fun with Remus though. He kept her entertained and feeling good, and he always made sure she was alright. And in the morning when he made her egg and tea, and the Daily Prophet flew through the window, he almost had an aneurism. On the front cover was Rose, Remus, Moody and the baby in her arms.

_THE SON WE NEVER KNEW ABOUT_

_By Edison Williams, 4th of Dec_

_We never knew about the son belonging to Sirius Black, if in fact he knew he had a son to begin with. The boy was born over a week ago in St Mungo's, and was named Sirius James Black, after his Father and James Potter, who's whereabouts is currently unknown—_

'GET TATEN OUT OF THERE!' screamed someone from the fireplace. Remus dropped the paper near Rose's feet, and ran to the living room. In the fireplace was Moody and John, the replacement for Sirius.

'THE PICTURE SOMEHOW MANAGED TO LEAK! THE DEATH EATERS! THEY'RE COMING AFTER HER! SOMEONE TRIED TO ACCESS YOUR INFORMATION REMUS, YOUR LOCATION! THEY'RE COMING FOR THE BOY, GET THEM OUT OF THERE!'

It was like the earth slowed down. He seemed to run from the living room in slow motion, to the bedroom. Pulling out an empty trunk from the smaller bedroom, he rushed to his old master bedroom that he had quite literally forced Rose to stay in when she had given birth, and started pulling all of her things from inside the wardrobe. When she hurried into the room with a face ashen and white, she copied Remus and opened the cabinets, pulling out some of her things and throwing them in the trunk.

'Remus?' she whispered urgently. There was screaming and crying coming from the baby cradle, but they ignored it. 'Are they coming now?'

'Yes! YES! They're coming! I need to get you out Rose; I need you—forget about getting changed, we don't have time! I need you to just do everything I say, okay?'

When she nodded, he shot her a cautious glance. 'Everything Rose, you need to do everything I say.'

When most of her belongings were in the trunk, he put a Locomotive Charm on it, so it wasn't heavy for her to carry when he left her in Godric's Hollow. Yes, Godric's Hollow. He was taking her to James.

Throwing some shoes at her to put on, Remus shrugged on his coat. 'Have you got everything?' he asked her urgently, and when a few minutes passed she nodded, he helped her on with her beige coat. Remus picked up Sirius James, putting him in the baby carrier and lifting it easily.

'I'm taking you to Godric's Hollow?' he said urgently, closing the front door behind him and taking her hand. Then about twenty different spells collided with the window they were standing near. Immediately, Remus used his body to take the brunt of the shattering glass, hissing when a sharp one stabbed his back.

They could hear screaming and bellowing from the Death Eaters outside the flat, and a few seconds later they could hear footsteps charging up the stairs. Remus wrapped an arm around Rose almost tenderly, crushing her small body against his. He held the rather heavy trunk and the baby carrier close and thought hard about Godric's Hollow.

_Godric's Hollow, Godric's Hollow, Godric's Hollow._

He chanted in his head. And just as they started shimmering out of view, Crouch Junior, Avery and a few other Death Eaters slid into the hallway. The last thing Remus heard was a scream of fury. His heart was beating so fast, he didn't even pay attention to the discomfort or disapparating. The Death Eaters were probably going to burst into his home and look for clues.

Well Remus wasn't dumb. And when he and Rose landed in the middle of Godric's Hollow, he knew she was safe. He had saved her.

_xo _

_The Fourth of December_

James sat down, the WWN on. Harry was crawling on the floor, and Lily was in the kitchen making some soup. She had been awfully kind and gentle to him after his furious outburst when they learned that Sirius had been captured. It hurt him like a knife. Every dream of his was plagued with his friend. Every thought was consumed with worry and fright.

James had been serious when he was stormed to the front door over a week ago, ready to go hunting for Sirius. But Lily had been so scared, so frightened and she had begged him quite literally. And when James was on the bed, staring at the ceiling and crying, she held him and kissed him and whispered words of comfort, when she was crying herself.

Lily was also very cautious when she spoke to James; afraid that anything she said might send him on a tirade. Even a whisper of the name Sirius sent him sitting in front of the WWN for hours, shaking with rage and anticipation.

He seemed more cold than usual, not even kissing her lips. Lily wanted to make love to him, she wanted _her_ James back, since more often than not they spent the mornings and nights having wild, rabbit sex.

And with the startling understanding, she realised that she would always come second to Sirius Black. Was she just the 'bit on the side' to James? Didn't she mean anything to him? And though she loved Harry with every fibre of her body, her son couldn't hold a conversation for shit. Simple as that. If Sirius had been a woman, would James have married _him? Her?_ Lily almost gagged, she was being ridiculous.

Stirring the soup in the pot, Lily heard the WWN being turned up louder. 'LILY!' she heard her husband bellow. Abandoning the soup on the stove, she ran to the living room, crouching down next to her husband in front of the wireless.

'... name of Sirius James Black, named after his father and James Potter, who has been missing for weeks now. The son was born to Rose Taten on the twenty fourth of November, the same day Sirius Black was captured—'

'PRONGS?' they could hear someone screaming from outside, there were two voices in fact. Two very familiar voices. Crawling on his fours, James slipped open the window much wider than it already was, so the voices were louder. He didn't want to get his hopes up. He wanted to listen.

'We've been walking around for an hour Remus, and I need to feed my son!' the female voice of Rose Taten snapped.

'Don't snap at me! I'm trying to help you for goodness sake... Sirius didn't tell me the full secret, he just said Godric's Hollow. What the hell are we supposed to do? They will find us Rose. It's all my fault. I'm so sorry. But I need to protect you, this is the best plan we've got.'

'But there are two of us; there was just one of Sirius—'

'Don't underestimate him. He's one heck of an Auror and damn clever. No, we need to find Prongs and they'll keep you safe. You'll be under the Fidelius Charm too.'

'Can we at least sit down; I need to feed my baby.'

Ever so slowly, James looked up with his face cracking into a grin. The beauty of the Fidelius Charm was that no one could see them, no one could hear them. But the protected ones could see everything, they could hear everything.

And at least a hundred metres away was Rose, in her pyjamas and with a coat wrapped around her. Besides Rose was Remus, holding a trunk and a baby carrier. Then the pair slipped out of his view. James knew for a fact that a few houses down were a cluster of benches.

As if in slow motion, he turned his frightened and yet excited face to Lily, whose jaw was slack. James was about to grin when she shook his head. 'No, no James, it could be a trap.'

He almost growled angrily at her. 'You think they know where we're hiding? You're insinuating that Sirius told about us?'

'He's with Lord Voldemort James, no one can fight him!' She cried hysterically. No one could hear them, no one could see them. She could cry as loud as she wanted.

'Sirius can fight them, he's strong! He's _so strong_ and you can't ... look at what he's done for us, have faith in him. Have faith in me.' James's tone was quiet now. 'Look, I know how horrid I've been but I love him, and I'm so worried for him. And Moony and Rose might have the answer!'

Lily shook her head. 'It could be a trap—'

'Voldemort wouldn't waste time tricking us. If it were really him, and he wanted to kill us he'd come barging in with the Killing Curse dancing from his snake tongue.' James stood up but Lily hurried in front of him. Exasperatedly, he bared his teeth at her. 'Get out of the way Lily!'

'NO! No James! It's a trap, I know it is! You could be wrong, you probably are—'

'GET OUT OF THE WAY!' he roared, barging past her and slipping on some shoes. Waving his wand, James became invisible. Then he opened the door and slammed it hard.

He'd feel bad at the way he treated Lily, but she was being so cold. Did she only care about herself? About her life? They were onto bigger and badder things.

Silent as a thief in the night, he crept, with his wand out and a Stunning Charm on his tongue. He could see them after a few seconds of fast walking. Remus was talking in a low urgent voice to Rose, who was just slipping her breast back under her top. She was nodding whilst looking down at the bundle in her arms.

Then James lunged just as Remus stood up. He pressed his wand into Remus's neck and hissed coldly, 'What is my Animagus form?'

Rose turned around furiously; quickly, her neck cracking with the speed. She thought they were under attack.

'A stag, whom we named Prongs. And Padfoot the dog is Sirius. Peter is Wormtail, the rat. I'm Moony, the werewolf.'

James wasn't as thorough as Sirius, but he was a little more frightening in his interrogations. His lean body flickered into view, and he turned Remus around to embrace him.

'Oh my God Remus, I've missed you so much!'

Remus patted James's back, hugging him back just as fervently. 'I know; I've missed you too.' Then James heard a whine and a cry, and slowly dropped his arms from around his werewolf friend. Deliberately turning slowly, he looked at Rose.

His breath was knocked from his lungs. She was beautiful; still so beautiful. And like a seeker failing to restrain a rogue broomstick, he struggled to tame the feelings he had once felt for her. But he succeeded, because waiting back inside Number Seven, Godric's Hollow was the love of his life. The most amazing woman in the world, his wife.

Childbirth had heightened Rose's beauty. Her face was glowing with the remnants of her stay in Australia. She had a few golden freckles splattered around her face, and her hair was pooled around her torso, covering her arms and her back. James sighed and looked down at the bundle in her arms. Silky black hair and piercing grey eyes. And he gasped.

It was almost as if he had used a Time Turner, and turned back twenty one years. Because he knew this was what Sirius would have looked like. The beautifully mesmerising eyes; the silky black hair that shone in the morning sun; the pale skin and the already aristocratic and defined features.

Remus grabbed James who was gaping at the baby. 'Listen to me Jimmy, listen! Tell her the secret, not me but only her. She needs to be protected from the Death Eaters too now. They plan on using her son to get the secret out of Sirius, and we _both_ know that we _don't_ know what Sirius would do. He's a bundle of surprises. Now the Fidelius Charm works in two ways. Either the secret keeper shows the identity or place, or the ones being hidden themselves reveal it. But technically Rose won't be able to tell anyone. Because she's neither. Hide her and keep them both safe!'

James swallowed at the thought of Sirius sacrificing his own son and Rose just for James. It wasn't a thought he liked. He nodded.

Remus turned to Rose. 'I'm going to go back; the battle between the Aurors and the Death Eaters is bound to be over now.'

He bent down and kissed the cheek of Sirius James softly. Then Remus turned to Rose and smiled, opening his arms. She handed Sirius James over to the bespectacled wizard besides her, and threw her arms around Remus, kissing his cheek.

'Oh thank you Remus!' she whispered in his ear, kissing his cheek again. 'Thank you so much. I-I owe you my life.'

'You don't owe me anything; I did this for you and my godson.'

She smiled a little sadly at him. 'Stay safe, I know they'll be after you too now.'

'I'll stay safe. James, give my love to Lily and Harry.' He said, hugging his friend cautiously. But his friend didn't even look up. For James was staring down at the small child in his hands, crying. He was actually crying; blubbering like a baby.

'James?' asked Rose, tentatively touching his back. 'Babe, what's—'

'S-Sirius is g-going to die, and it'll be a-a-all my fault that y-your son w-won't ever meet his F-Father,' he whispered, wiping the tears and staring down.

Rose shook her head angrily. 'No, it'll be my fault! I never told Sirius, he would have stayed if I told him, he wouldn't have done this. Jamie, it's not your fault.' She said, cupping his face tenderly. And the electricity that sparked between them was unmistakeable.

'It's not your fault James, now please, take her inside.' Remus said, in his smart and commanding voice. He clapped the back of James's back. 'Wish me luck guys!'

'Oh Remus, thank you so much,' Rose cried once again, clinging to his hand. Remus touched her chin, smiled and then disapparated. The crack was loud.

James was still staring at the carbon copy of Sirius Black. Everything was the same, save the lips. They were fuller and more red rather than pink. It hurt James so much to think he was seeing Sirius's son before him. Like when Lily had given birth, he had refused for any of his friends to see the baby coming out because it was something he wanted to say he had done and only he.

But instead of Sirius experiencing that, Remus had been there for the birth; James was going to live with her...

And even imagining something like that happening to him sparked anger because Lily and Harry were the most important people in his life. James suddenly jumped.

'What? WHAT?' Rose shrieked, looking around wildly.

'Lily's going to kill me! She's probably got an axe ready—'

'You frightened me for that bint?' Rose snapped, bending down to pick up the baby carrier and the trunk. James glared at Rose.

'Don't call the woman I love a bint.'

Rose raised an eyebrow, smirking. 'You loved me, and you called me a bitch _and_ a bint on a daily basis.'

James almost laughed at the bittersweet relationship they had had in Hogwarts. 'Yeah but that's different Rosie, _I _called you the bint, so it's acceptable. But say, if Remus or Sirius called you a bint it wouldn't be acceptable. It's all logic really.'

She laughed her soft chuckle, which always seemed to make her breathless. Only her James and her Sirius could get away with calling her Rosie; she hated the name Rosie. And more often than not, a girl who called her Rosie ended up with a black eye and a bloody nose.

'James, I want to go sleep or have a bath, or maybe both. And I'm so hungry, I'm _so _hungry. And my tits hurt, and my feet hurt and—'

'Oh wow...' James whispered, noticing the basketball breasts of hers. 'Y-you're tits have erm ... gone quite err, you know...' His hazel eyes roamed her body. She was thinner than she had been before, but with added bonuses like her enormous breasts.

Rose, ever the show off and the flirt puffed them out. 'Want to feel?' she laughed, sending him that infamous roguish wink.

James gnawed on his lip. Surely Rose wouldn't tell Lily? Surely Rose wouldn't tell Sirius if he ever returned, and it wasn't like he'd never seen her breasts before. Heck, he'd slept with her a few times. After him and Rose split up and she started a fling with Sirius, he had been desperate to get her back. And it worked, and they slept together twice on Sirius's bed (payback's a bitch after all) and then James had broken it off again. Well, it had been mutual, but he always liked to think it was his idea.

'No thanks, I've got a wife who is, can I say, absolutely tremendous in bed.'

'No you can't say,' Rose said rather sourly following James who was leading her to the house. When they stopped walking, Rose couldn't see the house the way James was seeing it. Instead, she saw a run down corner shop with broken windows and a rickety fence and an enormous CLOSED sign.

'James?' she asked hesitantly.

'Oh right, you can't see. What did I have to say? Oh, Lily would be so much better at this! Um...' And for five minutes he pondered on what he had to say.

'Rose! Rosie, I've got it. Hush, stop complaining and close your eyes ... I, James Charlus Potter, allow Rose Emily Taten and her son Sirius James Potter into Number Seven, Godric's Hollow.' James exhaled softly. 'Rosie, open your eyes.'

And she did. It was the complete antithesis of what had been standing there moments ago. The house was larger than the corner shop, and completely white. The door was red, and the fence was red too. The grass was almost frozen, and the chimney let out puffs of grey smoke. It was a very adorable house.

'It's amazing,' she said. Rose could imagine a house like this for herself, her son and Sirius; with a house elf and a large garden and in the middle of nowhere. James took the trunk from her, still holding the young boy. James knocked on the door and it immediately opened. Lily looked a mess, her eyes were red and there were tear tracks down her face, and she was whimpering. Rose barged past her, dropping the baby carrier at the foot of the stairs and waltzing into the living room.

James stepped in the house, dusting his feet on the welcoming mat. He looked up at Lily who was staring down at the baby with the slightest smile.

'Lily—' She slapped him hard before he could even finish his sentence. Lily had never hit him over something serious before, though more often than not he deserved it. But it still shocked him, and it hurt a little.

'Don't speak to me, don't even look at me.' Lily seethed. 'I-I... I can't explain to you what I w-was feeling.' She whispered, wiping the tears rolling down her cheeks and pressing a hand to her racing heart. Lily shook her head, sobbing gently to herself. Moments passed before she looked James in the eye, hatred and anger evident.

Then she took the baby from James and hurried off to the living room. And her husband stood in the hallway, a hand to his cheek and a soft frown on his face.

_xo _

_The Twenty Sixth of November_

Narcissa came into the attic, carrying a canvas and a crate of different paints and pencils. Then she waved her wand and a desk appeared and a plate and some water. It was almost as if she knew everything he needed.

She did. Narcissa loved to paint, little did anyone know. It ran in the Black blood – not painting but creativity. The number of times she had read Andromeda's poems or Bellatrix's sadistic but beautifully written short stories. It was almost like a blessing. Many of the Blacks in their ancestry were famous for their creativity. For example, Narcissa's great-great-great grandmother was a celebrated and praised author, one of the best in the eighteenth century.

'Can I have some tissues too?' asked Sirius, who was standing by the window looking out of it. Narcissa waved her wand and a box filled with tissues appeared. She came over to him, tapping the binds on his hands so they disappeared.

'Thanks,' he said in a low voice. But he didn't immediately come over and start painting or sketching. He still stood, patient as rain, besides the window staring out at the fields and the roads. Narcissa almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

'The Dark Lord said paint him something ... enigmatic.'

Getting the hint that he wasn't going to paint whilst she was in the room, she left slowly and rather reluctantly. Sirius looked up when the door closed and smiled. So Narcissa possessed the Black trait of creativity too? And he thought it was only him and Regulus.

Sirius poked his way through the crate of paints, some oil and others acrylic. He pulled out the pencils and pushed the desk away. He opted to paint on the floor, more comfortable and more room. Lying on his stomach, Sirius pondered on what to paint. Should he paint the Dark Lord? Or maybe the battle in Diagon Alley with him conquering the Death Eaters? Something that would really infuriate the Dark Lord. And Sirius had the perfect idea.

He started to sketch gently, lightly, and almost as if he had all the time in the world. And he reckoned he did. Sirius sketched the outline of the first face, the crazy hair and the thin neck. He did the same with the second face in the middle with tamed and neat hair. The third face was hardest though. Hard to capture the square of the jaw, and the angular neck. The hair was also hard, because it had so many different textures. But at last, he had three faces beaming up at him. It would have to be a Muggle painting – he didn't have his wand.

But it felt like something was missing. Peter Pettigrew.

Sirius sighed; he owed it to himself at least to show some recognition of Peter. So in the corner he drew the outline of a rat, scared and frightened and alone. He wondered how Peter was. The Aurors had given up on spending all their time looking for him, and instead assigned two Aurors to look instead of a dozen. Peter hadn't written, but maybe it was because he was scared. Or maybe, most obviously, because Sirius had been captured, and so he saw no point.

And the Death Eaters showed no sign of caring where he had gone. At least, not whilst there were more pressing and important matters at hand. Like capturing Sirius Black and the Potters. He hoped James was alright. His dear friend would be taking this ever so badly. In fact he was surprised that James hadn't come looking for him; his dear cousin Bellatrix would have definitely bragged about it. Was it sad that he felt ever so slightly disheartened at the fact that none of his friends came looking for him?

He didn't want them in danger, he'd rather die than have any of them come looking for him but it would have boosted his morale; his spirit. Because already the pain was getting to him, and it had only been two days. His body ached, and his injuries hadn't been healed. His lip looked a little infected when he saw his reflection in the window. And his face was still bloody (though the shower Crouch gave him had taken most of it off) and he was starting to smell ... well bad. Really bad. His stomach was in constant uproar, and Sirius had always been one to eat whenever he wanted and without worrying about gaining weight.

But this was for the best; his friends not coming to look for him. Regardless of whether he had his usual infuriating and frustrating personality, or whether he was quiet and sad; he wouldn't give the secret up. And he prayed that Lily and James were alright. Well they had to be, otherwise Sirius would have been discarded if Voldemort had gotten Harry.

This was all for Harry too. His beautiful godson ... It hurt to think of what would have happened had Peter stayed the secret keeper. Harry would be an orphan, and his friends would be dead. And he would be locked in Azkaban or on the run from the ministry for Peter's blunder.

Sirius sketched out the background. His painting would be one of friendship. Of the Marauders standing proud with their tall, slender bodies, united in front of Hogwarts. With the craftsmanship and skill Sirius possessed, he drew the turrets and captured the beauty and essence of Hogwarts.

His first real home. Sirius subconsciously took the glass of water he was supposed to use for his paint, and sipped it. Before he knew it, his thirst took over him and he gulped down all the water. Then he frowned. No way in hell was he going to call a Death Eater in for some water to paint with. The bastard'll probably abuse him.

Sirius had learned that two Death Eaters patrolled his attic, sitting at the bottom of the stairs to make sure Sirius was still there. And when Crouch had been patrolling in the early hours of the morning yesterday, he had tortured Sirius just to see if he could make Sirius scream. It had been bloody hard, but his arrogance and pride had gotten in the way. And he triumphed; he had not screamed even once.

Dejectedly, Sirius set the glass back down on the desk near him. And when it touched the desk, the glass slowly started to refill. Sirius blanched and looked at the door to see if anyone was doing it. But no, the water had a Refillable Charm on it.

Narcissa must have done it for him. Sirius almost felt proud of her. She was obviously very guilty for all she had done to him over the past few years; and the situation he had gotten himself into. She brought him food three times a day, most of the time it was fruit or a few crackers. But she was also very different to all the others, who whenever they got the chance, cursed him or hexed him. And he was grateful. Sirius coughed gently into his hand.

Amongst all his other injuries, his chest hurt the most. He was sure his cracked ribs weren't helping too, because like he had mentioned before – no one had healed his wounds. And each time he breathed it hurt. Each time he moved, it hurt. It hurt most though when he was being tortured.

And all he wanted to do was beg for it to stop. But his pride wouldn't let him and he certainly wouldn't let himself. In fact lying on the floor was torture too, but he had to ignore the pain. He had to become adjusted to it. And if a few cracked ribs made him want to die, then wasn't he just a major let down for James and Lily and his beautiful godson Harry?

In a weird way Sirius wished he had left a legacy behind. But rather than a legacy of fame, he wished he left a child. He wished he had gotten married.

But instead the only thing he was going to leave behind was a few good friends, and regrets. And what about Taten? The heartbreaker, _his heartbreaker._ Had she replied to his letters? If he ever got home would he see a bundle? Each letter insulting him. Each letter screaming and swearing and raging at how it was his fault they ended.

Well that was a lie. Though out of the nine times they had broken up, seven of them were initiated because of him. But that was only because she was so damn proud; so damn reckless and frustrating and wild. And she had a horrid temper, more than once had he actually felt scared. Not that he was ever going to tell anyone.

Hesitantly taking the glass of water, he sipped it again but slower this time, soothing his burning throat. And it felt so good. In a weird way, if he, Sirius Black, had to choose between mind blowing sex, and a burger, he'd choose the burger.

No doubt.

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><p><em>AN: Anyone liked the whole Remus thing at the beginning? I love writing Remus, he's so interesting to write as. Tell me your opinions on James and Rose and Lily, whether you think it was realistic or not, because for me characterisation is almost as important as the actual plot. So I really want to nail these characters, and show them in different lights too (Y) _

_So please leave a review, just a few sentences, and remember I WELCOME ANONYMOUS REVIEWS :) & I welcome constructive criticism. Thanks for all the awesome reviews I've gotten, I reply to all of the signed in ones. _

_Thanks for reading too, take care! _

_xo_


	14. Just Tell Me The Secret

_Disclaimer; Only the OCs and the plot guys, thanks for reading! _

* * *

><p><em>xoxo <em>

_14. Just Tell Me The Secret_

Lily sat down beside the fireplace, with Rose Emily Taten in front of her. If there was someone she hated more than Death Eaters it was Rose. The girl had been so destructive and wild during their seven years at Hogwarts. And the amount of times she would bring boys (more often than not, James or Sirius) into their dorm for a snog fest was unbelievable. Lily remembered in their first year trying to get Taten moved to the second girl's third year Gryffindor dormitory. It had not worked.

Rose had also been a bad girl. She'd smoke (sometimes even weed) in the dormitory, or she'd sneak out hours past curfew. And Lily had sometimes taken the brunt of her behaviour; being the prefect and in seventh year, the head girl. Rose had also corrupted an innocent and kind friend of Lily's called Emmanuelle Danté – an Italian girl who had been both smart and funny.

Of course the Marauders aided to her corruption. But the point was that Rose had always made Lily's life a misery. And now the woman was sitting in her living room and staring out of the window with a forlorn expression.

Lily looked down at the baby in her arms, and her breath was taken away. She didn't need to know who the Father was; for the baby in her arms was a clone of his dad. His eyes were large and silver, framed with thick dark lashes. He had a few tufts of silky and wavy hair and his skin was pale. The lips though – they were a little too full, and a little too red to be Sirius's. About the only thing the boy had inherited from his useless Mother.

Lily heard James going slowly up the narrow staircase. Her husband was probably still in shock. Well he deserved it. If he ever did anything like that again, she was going to leave with Harry. Take her son and run, because she wasn't about to let James jeopardise everything over Sirius.

As much as she loved Padfoot, her son had to come first.

'His name is Sirius James,' Rose said softly, turning around to look at Lily. It was no secret that Rose despised Lily Evans. But she might as well start a conversation. She was bored and the silence was slightly nauseating. 'He was born barely twenty minutes after Sirius was captured... At almost half past twelve on the twenty fourth of November.'

Lily looked down. Already she was smitten with the baby-Paddy. He was tiny, and all the memories of her first few months with Harry came rushing back. And no Father should ever miss those moments. No matter whom the baby belonged to; be it a Death Eater of Voldemort himself. Every Father should experience those special feelings. It was said that having a child changed you; humbled and grounded those who were once wild and reckless.

Perhaps if Sirius ever had the chance to meet his own son, ever had the chance to raise his son and teach him what was right and what was wrong - then maybe finally he would grow up. Because as much as she loved her Marauders, Lily knew that they were all kids stuck in the bodies of adults. Including Remus. Hadn't he, in 1980, drank four bottles of James's finest wine and stumbled into the lounge of the Potter Manor drunk, with only a plate covering his manliness.

Sirius had stumbled too, but he sadly didn't have anything to cover certain anatomy parts. And he was too drunk to even care. Lily remembered laughing for ages. They were good times.

'I made Remus the godfather. He was with me when I gave birth—' but Rose's voice was cut off by the sudden sniffle from Lily.

Rose's pale green eyes met Lily's vibrant emerald ones with shock.

'You are _so _selfish Rose Taten.' Lily whispered, her sudden tears falling. She shook her head and breathed in calmly. '_So_ selfish. How could you do this to the man you love. He doesn't know about the baby does he? He doesn't know he had a son.'

Rose was taken back, especially by the past tense Lily used. Still, whenever Evans spoke to her, it was either a scream or a shriek or even something in between. But this calm voice, this sad voice was painful.

'You don't understand—'

'It's very simple to understand.' snapped Lily, baring her teeth at Rose. 'You got pregnant when he took you to Paris for Valentine's Day. You left him half way through March because you found out about the early pregnancy. He gave you ten thousand galleons and wished you the best of luck, not knowing you were taking his baby with you. And now he's ...' Lily gasped. She jumped up, forgetting about the small baby in her arms for a second.

Rose felt a little frightened – just a little.

'He's probably never going to meet his son!' cried Lily, looking down at the baby. The beautiful baby. She gasped again. 'He's never going to meet his own son! Taten, how could you _do_ this?'

They didn't understand, none of them understood what Rose was going through. She had panicked. She thought maybe at first Sirius wouldn't want the baby; he was so opposed to marriage and settling down. At least, not whilst he was young – he had always said he wouldn't want to start a family during the war! Sirius had always told Rose that this relationship between them, this _love _was heading nowhere other than beautiful moments together and kisses under the stars.

And then Rose had found out straight after the startling news that she was pregnant, that her Mother's illness had taken a turn for the worst. So she fled – got her plane tickets, told Sirius she needed money and left the next day, taking his broken heart with her.

Rose knew she was selfish. It was her worst trait, of all her worst traits. But she did love Sirius so much and she felt bad for doing this to him. This was why he needed to return.

And so Rose retorted angrily, whipping her head up and glaring with unfathomable fury glittering in her eyes. 'What do you want me to say Evans? That I'd change things? That I'll never do something like this again? Because it's too late! So stop _fucking _patronising me, and leave me the hell alone. Why don't you just run along and bake a cake or something so utterly typical of a housewife. And whilst you're off in the kitchen, bring me some firewhiskey, or wine, I don't care.'

Lily lifted her hand, ready to slap the bitch in front of her when Sirius James started to cry. Breathing in calmly, and looking Taten straight in the eye, she growled. 'If you _ever _speak like that to me again in my own home...' Lily seethed, handing over the baby gently to his Mother. In truth though, Lily had to go check on the soup she'd left on the stove anyway. And maybe she could save it, having forgotten about it whilst waiting in anticipation for James; or a flock of Death Eaters.

Rose rolled her eyes, and took off her jacket, gently holding her son in one hand. Then she pulled down her night top and slipped out her breast from the bra.

Lily refrained from commenting, but instead muttered under her breath loud enough for Rose to hear, 'Tart,' before leaving the living room.

Had Rose known it would be this hostile and unwelcoming, she might not have come. But it wasn't about her anymore. She had a son to care for and to protect. Rose almost wished she had never gone to the party yesterday; maybe she'd still be with Remus. Remus was so nice. He made her food and tea and talked to her. And he had a TV.

Rose loved televisions. But instead, some soft music drifted into the room whilst she breastfed her son. It hurt a bit – well when she first started feeding him. She wasn't exactly adjusting to the pain of breastfeeding (after all, Rose hated feeling pain), but now she was learning to ignore the dull ache. It was easy to ignore it; she had so much on her mind to preoccupy herself with.

James came into the room, his face ash white and his hair dripping. A towel was draped around his shoulders and his eyes looked bloodshot.

'Pads never knew, did he?' asked James. Hesitantly, Rose nodded. James had a handsome face, but not in the obvious way. His eyes were beautiful and stunning, and he had sharp and angular features. His hair was silky and very messy.

Rose remembered when she fell for him. It had been like flying. Then she got together with Sirius, still pining a little for James. But the gorgeous bastard, _her _gorgeous bastard made her fall so much harder for him than she had for James, and after that it was easy to ignore the attraction she felt for James. The adoration and the admiration...

But right now she wanted to slap him.

His face contorted into one of pure hatred. 'Why?' He seethed, his hands balling up into fists. '_WHY?_ You ... you bitch! You selfish, horrible, _evil bitch!_' James roared, kicking the coffee table (he'd been doing that a lot lately, kicking things when he was angry). Rose slipped her breast back in her bra and cuddled her son closer to her, cowering away from the raging man before her. James was quite a fright when he was angry.

She didn't even feel insulted at the words he was calling her. She deserved it. 'I know,' she replied tersely, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. 'I know Jamie—'

'DON'T CALL ME THAT! YOU DON'T DESERVE TO CALL ME THAT! YOU'VE... _Look what you've done!_ I could ... Rose I could _kill _you because of how angry I am! Sirius, he's not coming back! I love that man so much and he's going to die.' James's voice broke and he angrily wiped the flow of tears from his face.

'A rescue mission's underway...' She whispered.

'It won't be successful. Voldemort's managed to stay hidden for years now when he wants to be, he can hide Sirius.' James breathed, shaking his head. 'We won't find Sirius ... God, h-how could you do this to him? He loved you so much, he thought of you so much.'

Rose sobbed, and shrugged her shoulders with her head falling forward. 'I don't know why I did it James, I was scared.'

'You're a coward,' he spat, looking at her with hatred in his eyes. 'You're a coward, and I don't know what Sirius saw in you. What I ever saw in you.'

Perhaps it would have hurt less had James killed her. Those few words stabbed her deep and hard. She gasped and then looked down at her crying son. What did Sirius James want? She didn't have the time? She didn't have Remus to guide her and show her what to do. She didn't have any experience ... And dear God was her head hurting so bad!

Rose started stuttering. 'Wh-what? What do you _want _baby?' she whispered, kissing his head and his cheek and sniffing his positively enigmatic smell that all babies had.

'You've fed him; if he's still crying then you need to change him.' James all but snapped impatiently. To be brutally honest Rose hadn't changed her son much over the past few days. Remus always changed him, and when he had gone for a few days to St Mungo's because of a cold he'd caught, she struggled fiercely to change her own son!

'I-I don't know how ... Remus does it...'

James sighed exasperatedly. He approached Rose and fell to his knees, pulling out his wand. Ever so gently he carried the baby to the other sofa, putting him flat on his back and taking off the baby's one piece. He ripped open the nappy, gagged at the smell and pointed his wand at the cute and rather pale bum. Come to think of it, the tiny arse looked quite a bit like Sirius's. James cleaned the bum, and then conjured some nappies. Wizards used them too. It was just one of those things that even magic couldn't substitute.

Rose watched from the other side of the room as her old boyfriend expertly changed her son. Then when James was finished he lifted the baby up and kissed the boy on the cheek.

'Sirius James? A bit of a mouthful.' James said in a much kinder voice. Rose felt her body relax; he could never stay mad for long. But then James saw the relief in her face and raised an eyebrow. 'Don't think this is over Rose. I've just opted to be kinder to you, after everything you have been through. But don't think for _one second _if I had the choice to kick you out and keep your son, I wouldn't take it.'

Her lip trembled and she looked down at her hands. 'I named my son after the only men I've ever loved.' Rose said softly. 'I've yet to come up with a nickname for him.'

'Nicknames are my forte...' And when she met those loving hazel eyes she knew it was over. James would always love her deep down.

Lily came into the room, with Harry crawling in front of her. She had a bowl of soup and some bread, and she sunk down into the sofa, sighing in relief. When her husband looked at the bowl and his stomach growled, she growled too. 'Go get it yourself; I'm not a house elf.'

James raised an eyebrow; clearly shocked. He looked at Rose whose face betrayed the mirth she was feeling. Lily looked resolute. Absolute. And positively angry. It scared James a little.

Well actually a lot. 'Lily, can we talk in the kitchen?' he said, frowning deeply.

'No, anything you can say, you can say in front of _your first love _Rose.' Lily hissed, setting her soup on the table and standing up slowly.

'Yeah, I wanna hear about the horrid troubles in the Potter household—'

'SHUT UP!' Mr and Mrs Potter cried, turning to her and glaring. James handed the baby back to Rose rather reluctantly, but when he felt her hands brush his forearm he felt her goose bumps.

Rose laughed and Lily growled at her. 'Will you, for once in your pathetic life, learn when to shut the hell up?'

'Make me,' Rose challenged, raising an eyebrow.

'You're rotten, you really are. I always knew you'd break Sirius's heart. You're just a tart, a good for nothing tart—'

'What about you? Perfect, pristine, pretentious Lily Evans. You think you're so _brilliant_, so smart and beautiful. Well I've got a news flash for you Evans, you mean nothing.'

'God, how childish can you two get?' James interjected, throwing his hands up in anger. What Lily said was harsh, very harsh. But it was true and it was to the point. He could always rely on Lily to be honest. And it was both what he adored and despised of her.

'I didn't—' Rose said but when James silenced her with a glare, she shut her mouth. Then she hiccupped ... and then sneezed ... and then sobbed, it was fast and quick and before the Potters knew it, Rose leapt up. Clutching her son, and barely avoiding squashing Harry, she raced out of the room, crying.

James felt guilty. He turned to his wife, who had resumed eating her dinner. He opened his mouth but she shook her head.

'Don't even comment, don't even speak to me.' She said in a dangerous and quiet voice.

James bared his teeth in anger, and ran a hand furiously through his hair. 'If I'd done what you'd asked, then they would never have found us. Rose and her son would be dead.'

Lily scoffed. 'Remus is clever, he would have found someone else to harbour her if he didn't find us—' Lily started but James angrily shook his head.

'We're already the reason one Black is going to die, would you really want to risk getting Sirius's son murdered too? Already I think I love that boy...'

'So Rose and her son are more valuable than me and Harry?' Lily asked quietly. Her voice was quiet, and very distressed.

'No, no! I just ... Lily I knew it was Rose, I knew it was Remus. If I wasn't one hundred percent sure than I wouldn't have done it. But I knew, _I just knew_ they weren't imposters.'

Lily set down her empty bowl of soup and stubbornly looked away from her husband. 'I wasn't willing to risk it. I wasn't willing to risk my son.'

James sat down besides her. He took her hands when she wouldn't let him touch her face. Both were furious at each other. But both loved each other so much that it hurt sometimes.

Even though James thought Lily should apologise, he knew she wasn't going to. She was stubborn and proud, not unlike Sirius.

'You think I was willing to risk it? I never_ ever _would have done it if I wasn't one hundred percent sure.' He said, as her face softened ever so gently. 'I'm sorry Lily, I'm so sorry,' he whispered, pressing his forehead against hers. After a few moments of anticipating her refusal to accept, or her infamous lectures he knew she had forgiven him. James pressed his nose against hers and looked into those emerald pools he lusted for.

Then he kissed her lips, and when she didn't respond; he put more love and adoration into the kiss. When she did respond very gently, he moved his hands onto her waist, coaxing her mouth open and savouring the kiss. This was their first proper kiss for days now.

James pushed her gently so she was lying on the sofa underneath him. He straddled her and left open mouthed kisses on her face and her neck and her collarbone whilst fondling her beautiful breasts. 'I love you,' he whispered, kissing her plump lips again. 'I love you so much,' he said again. 'I'm so sorry Lily, I'm so sorry,' he repeated, helping her off with her shirt and caressing her silky soft skin.

And when she replied, 'I'm sorry too,' he knew everything between them was settled. Everything between them was at rest.

_xo _

It was the twenty ninth of November. He only had two more days and then the Dark Lord's offer expired. And Sirius already knew the answer, but it sucked to have to tell Voldemort.

He was scared of that man. He'd be a fool not to be scared. Even Dumbledore was scared; the old man admitted it time and time again.

So Sirius tried to distract himself with painting. And there hadn't been anymore visits from Lord Voldemort since the day he showed Crouch and the others how to 'Properly perform a Cruciatus Curse' or in this case, 'How to properly perform a Cruciatus Curse for Sirius Black'. He was still ravenous. He hadn't eaten a proper meal for five days now. And no, fruit and water did not count.

Just this morning though, he had woken up in fresh clothes and washed hair and brushed teeth and an empty bladder. He felt a little embarrassed that the Death Eater might have been bathing him but Narcissa replied (rather exasperatedly) how his clothes hadn't even been taken off, he relaxed. It had all been done using magic. And that was comforting.

Then there was the fact that Bellatrix liked to watch him sleep. She loved being the last and first person he saw at night and in the mornings. It was rather frightening waking up on the beaten down sofa with his feet in her lap, and her hands running through his hair.

And more than once she had attempted to lick the blood off of his face. But Sirius wasn't too afraid of her, and even threw her on the floor when she tried two days ago.

The door creaked open and Sirius looked up. The binds on his hands vanished and Lord Voldemort entered. Sirius felt his body tremble with fear, and his eyes were already watering. His body was preparing itself for the pain that was sure to follow.

But instead, Lord Voldemort walked into the room, and with a flick of his wand, conjured another sofa to sit on. 'Good morning Sirius,' he said quietly.

Sirius looked up and met those cold eyes. He smiled sarcastically. 'Good morning to you too,' he replied. 'How has your day been?'

Voldemort sneered. 'It has been good. Two members from the Order of the Phoenix have been injured during the attempt to rescue you.'

Sirius jumped up, his eyes and ears perk and alert. That was a lie? Voldemort was lying. Why would the man tell him the very thing he wanted to hear? The very thing that would boost his morale and excite him. Was it a lie? It had to be. Maybe Voldemort thought Sirius would be more likely to reveal the Potter's hiding place if he knew others were getting hurt for him. Well it wasn't going to work. As hard and stoic and cold as it may seem, he would stay the Potters secret keeper even if half a dozen died because of his choice. Because Sirius really did believe that a world without James and Lily was bad.

'Did they? A bit foolish since they can't locate the Malfoy Manor. It's under Concealment Charms, isn't it?'

'Smart boy, smart boy.' Voldemort whispered in his serpentine voice. He waved his wand and a file landed in his lap. Slowly; as if he had all the time in the world, the dark wizard opened the file and began flicking through it. 'You received eight outstandings and one exceeds expectation in your OWLs. What about your NEWTs? Ah, four outstandings and one exceeds expectations. Well aren't you a smart boy?'

Sirius was feeling very nervous; he didn't like Voldemort one bit. Not only because the man was a raving lunatic but because he made Sirius feel, throughout the whole of his 'stay' here, very uncomfortable. Like he was walking on eggshells and anything he said bring pain along with it.

'Yeah, I'm pretty smart.' Sirius replied after a hesitant pause. 'I'm very smart actually,' he said. The Dark Lord stood up, his robes billowing behind him. Each step was slow and deliberate until he was standing before the sofa, towering over Sirius.

'You are handsome too,' he said, running a finger over Sirius's cheekbone and through his hair. Sirius shivered. Never in his whole life had he felt so scared. He felt like pissing himself; quite literally. And he felt evil, having such a dirty and cruel hand touching his face. Such cold and terrible fingers running through his hair. 'Your brother was handsome as well.'

Sirius didn't even have enough courage in him to snap at Voldemort for throwing his brother's name around. He was a coward.

'I heard you paralysed Malfoy because of what he had done to your brother. Regulus was a coward, a weak and scared coward. He deserved all he received. The torture... The _pain_...'

Sirius felt a tear dribble from his eye. Was his brother tortured? He didn't even know. He didn't know how his own brother was murdered. Just the murderer.

Voldemort brushed the tear away for Sirius. His face had taken on an ecstatic and thrilled expression at bringing tears to Sirius Black, without magic even. 'You should have tortured Malfoy; you should have made him feel the pain he inflicted on Regulus.'

'Believe me,' Sirius rasped in his hoarse voice. 'I would have, had there been time—' He stopped talking when he felt the white wand on Voldemort traced the initials on his chest. His breath hitched in his throat and he couldn't breathe properly. Surely he was going to die now?

'I was handsome once, when I was your age. But power and beauty do not go hand in hand.' said Voldemort, touching the rose on Sirius's chest. Strangely enough, Sirius could imagine a handsome Voldemort; after all the man had handsome features. But his skin was greyish and his eyes were red and the cold fury his face always showed morphed him into a monster.

He was _already_ a monster.

'Tell me Sirius, how does it feel being handsome?'

'I-I... I don't know,' replied Sirius in a quiet voice. He was so scared. Dear God why was he so scared? 'I guess it makes me feel powerful,' he said after a moment's pause.

'I thought you weren't interested in power?' asked Voldemort curiously, flicking the pendant hanging around the younger man's chest back and forth, watching the light reflected from it dance on Sirius's chest.

'I'm not, but that doesn't mean I don't acknowledge it when it's in my grasp.' He could feel only a small fraction of his courage seep back into his soul.

'Why do you have a rose? Does it stand for the woman you love? Does it stand for Taten?'

Perhaps his body froze with shock, or perhaps it froze with worry. Either way, Sirius was a still as a statue; as silent as a predator stalking their prey. Only he was the prey, and Lord Voldemort was the predator. Hunting him, playing with him...

'You have loved many women in your short life; does that make you feel powerful? Knowing they love you back?'

Swallowing, Sirius replied in a quieter voice, 'On the contrary, I only loved a few ... only two. But I made love with many of them. So yes, it does make me feel powerful. But I'm not interested in power.' He added, when the Dark Lord opened his mouth.

'Do you believe in a God, Sirius?' The sudden change of topics was disorientating, not that he would ever say. Sirius guessed that it was Voldemort's way of playing with his mind; keeping him on edge.

In a way, Sirius had always believed in God, magic was evidence of that if not that fact that human beings walked the earth. But that didn't mean he exactly liked God. He respected God, he even prayed towards the God sometimes, but he didn't like God too much. Why would he like someone, _something_ who ruined his life so much? God was Great, he knew that. But why had God made such great things in Sirius's own life fall?

'Yes I do,' he replied softly, looking down at his lap. But the wand traced a path all the way to Sirius's chin, raising it up so his grey eyes met the cold red ones.

'Are you a God fearing man?'

Sirius nodded. 'Most of the time, yes. But then there are circumstances that don't allow you to fear anyone. Circumstances that are too important for something as insignificant and worrisome as fear.'

They eyes flashed a deeper and darker red. 'Do you fear me?'

He should be honest; he was going to be honest. Voldemort would know if he lied anyway, and honestly walked hand in hand with integrity.

'So much,' Sirius whispered, glancing down at his lap. And when he heard the Dark Lord laugh, he looked up.

'Good. Good.' The quiet, serpentine voice whispered. 'Fear can make a man both brave and courageous. But it can also make a man foolish and selfish. Shall I tell you which category you fit into Sirius Black?'

Looking up with a resolute and brave glare, Sirius raised an eyebrow and tilted his head. 'I think I already know.' He answered.

The Dark Lord laughed and went back to his own sofa, across the room. He sat down with a sigh and picked up the file again. The room was steely quiet, and rather frightening. The window was slightly open, and Sirius could hear the rain pouring and the wind howling. It had been a full moon yesterday, and he felt so guilty. He had pined for Remus, wishing he could be there for his friend who was always there for him.

'It says here you became an Auror in the fastest time ... say, did you become an Auror for your brother? I hate Aurors.'

Sirius ignored the bait. Did everyone in this house think he would go on another rampage if they taunted him about his brother? Well it wasn't going to work.

'Well then, you must hate me.' Sirius joked weakly, coughing into his hand.

Voldemort looked up, smiling cruelly. 'But I _don't_ hate you Sirius. I still hope...' said the Dark Lord, his voice a hiss when he whispered Sirius's name. 'I need followers like you, clever and courageous followers. A dozen followers who fit into the same category as you _isn't_ enough. And with you, more will come my way. More will see the significance of our cause. More will be spurred on by your change in opinions. Someone like you, a public icon for the younger generations.'

'What is your cause?' Sirius snapped rather rudely. He half expected a wave of pain to come over him, but nothing happened.

'My cause is to clean our Wizarding World. To demonstrate the c_orrect _way of life.' His voice was barely above a whisper, and it was earnest and soft. Like velvet.

Sirius nibbled on his lip. He couldn't say what he really wanted to say. He knew he should say it, but he couldn't bring himself to say it. He'd be hurt.

Voldemort seemed to sense this. 'Lost your courage already?' the older man taunted.

Sirius bared his teeth. 'I was going to say a rumour I've heard about you.' His speech stopped when he saw the fury on Voldemort's face.

'What rumour?' the Dark Lord seethed.

Sirius wasn't put in Gryffindor for no reason, where was his courage? He was brave wasn't he? So why couldn't he say it.

He took a deep breath and said softly, 'The rumour I heard was that ... that you aren't as pure-blooded as you pretend to be—' Sirius's speech was cut off by a sudden scream. The Cruciatus Curse was hitting him hard. He fell off the sofa, landing on his back and grunting. The curse was lifted as quickly as it had been cast. Then Voldemort stood up, folder in his hand. He pointed his wand at Sirius, and black, metal binds appeared before them, snaking and weaving around his hands tightly.

The expression on the Dark Lord's face was enough to melt even the strongest of materials. It was so cold and so angry. The man stepped closer to Sirius, until he was towering like a beast over his prey. Sirius looked up, his body still throbbing and his lip trembling.

'If you ever,' breathed Lord Voldemort, 'If you ever repeat those rumours, _those lies,_ then I'll kill everyone you've ever cared about. Lupin, Taten, even your precious mentor Moody.' Then Voldemort swished out of the room with hard and sharp footsteps. As soon as the door closed, and sealed, Sirius started trembling and whimpering on the floor.

That was perhaps the scariest he had ever seen Lord Voldemort. And softly, with the dull thought that someone might hear him, Sirius started crying. Soft and gentle sobs that he prayed no one would hear. Least of all Voldemort.

_xo _

James felt guilty. What parents had sex right in front of their son. It had been spontaneous, and they hadn't realised Harry was in the room until they were ... too into it, and not really bothered about him seeing at all. But it was the sex talking; they were horrified afterwards when they turned to see Harry sitting down watching with an intrigued and interested expression, and the realisation of what they had just subjected their son too, sunk in.

But it was safe to say Harry wouldn't remember this in ten years. Hopefully. Besides, James was too happy to worry about mentally scaring his son. He'd been horny as hell the last few days. And he also knew that Lily had forgiven him. Otherwise she wouldn't have had sex with him. On the sofa, and the table, and the floor.

James grinned, eating the soup in the kitchen. Lily was upstairs, having a bath. He'd asked if he could join her but she sneakily winked at him and hurried up the stairs. And Harry was asleep in his crib, exhausted after spending the whole day crawling around the house. His son still couldn't walk, which was weird and very worrying.

James looked up when the kitchen door opened and expected it to be Lily with damp hair and a nightie, but instead it was Rose.

'Can I have something to eat,' she asked quietly, refusing to look James in the eye.

He shrugged and gestured to the pot of soup on the stove. 'You don't need to ask, help yourself.' Tentatively, she entered the kitchen and went over to the stove. She filled herself a bowl of soup and took some bread before leaving the room.

James felt guilty at how they had treated Rose. She was a dear friend to him after all. He couldn't just treat her horribly, no matter how much she deserved it. And boy did she deserve it. Rose had exhibited typical Rose Taten behaviour. She had only thought of herself, running off with a huge chunk of Sirius's inheritance and his baby growing inside her.

But that didn't mean he had to act so cold. She was going to be staying with him for as long as possible. And that might just as well turn into years.

'Rosie,' he called out. He hadn't called her Rosie for months, if not years. Not since him and Lily got married. And he'd called her it a lot today. James remembered the day he got married to Lily, and how Rose had tried to talk him out of it, resulting in Sirius breaking up with her.

After moments of waiting, he watched her slip back into the room. Childbirth had heightened her beauty. Her once plain and boring eyes were now vibrant with emotion, and her skin was sun kissed after spending months in Australia. There were a few golden freckles spread out across her face, and her hair was lighter. Her body had become even more beautiful, and her face glowed with the joy of having a child.

'Rosie, sit down,' he said softly. She gulped and sat down. Was she scared? This wasn't typical her behaviour. Her usual self would have said – 'Fuck you and your stupid ginger wife!' or something along those lines.

'Look Rosie, I'm not apologising. I don't want you to expect me to apologise. But I'm telling you now ... what's done is done. You've fucked everything up, like you usually do, but there's nothing we can do about it. It's not like we have a Time Turner lying around and can stop you running away with Sirius's baby.'

'I don't usually fuck things up,' she replied quietly, eating the soup rather vigorously and ravenously.

'Yes, you do Rosie. Imagine how Sirius would feel if he does, in some way, manage to come back to us in a year and _sees_ how he has a son. A son who doesn't recognise him, who doesn't know who the hell his own Father is! And it makes me want to cry ... oh God I feel so bad for him.'

Rose licked her fingers, shaking her head. 'You think I don't feel bad too? I want him back so much. I regret what I've done Jamie, of course I do. But like you said, what the fuck can I do?'

James tapped his empty bowl with his wand and it vanished, reappearing in the sink. He went over to the sink, rinsing the bowl and washing his hands.

'You can stop being such a bitch, just like you're fucking doing now! You can start by being nice to Lily. She would damn well kick you out and keep your son from you if she didn't feel so attached to Sirius. Stop being a bitch, and who knows, maybe she'll be nicer to you.'

Rose crossed her arms, leaning back in the chair. 'So let me get this straight, I'm meant to stay in a house where at any moment I could find myself half way across the world, with a killer headache but _without _my son?'

'Pretty much, unless you straighten your act and grow up. Help Lily around the house, be nicer to her. And if that doesn't work out then stay away from her. Don't even talk to her.' James said, whizzing around and leaning against the sink.

Rose frowned. 'You used to be so fun, what happened?'

James frowned, he remembered Sirius saying the same thing a few months ago. 'The Dark War happened Rosie, this damn Dark War. And you sitting there, totally ignorant like your typical ignorant behaviour isn't helping. Maybe if you pretended to be interested in the fact that we're losing this war. Maybe if you pretended to care that the darkest wizard to have ever roamed the earth is after my son, then maybe I'd be nicer to you.'

Rose could almost imagine that happening to her son and she gasped when she realised just how scared the Potters must have been.

'I'm so sorry James,' Rose said, hurrying over to him and taking his hands. 'I'm so sorry.' She ducked her head; she was ashamed. And when James patted her back a little awkwardly, she smiled as best she could at him.

'I'll be more considerate, I swear.' She said. 'If you stop insulting me,' James almost smiled and playfully pushed her away. She grinned at him and was in the process of leaving the room when the man behind her cleared his throat.

'What?' sighed Rose, already feeling sleepy. It had been an exhausting day, and her feet were aching.

James pointed at the empty bowl and bits of bread around it. 'Clear that up,' he said.

* * *

><p><em>Thanks for reading! I'm really grateful for all the reviews, I hope you've enjoyed it. Sorry for any mistakes in this chapter, I wrote it pretty hastily.<em>

_Anyway, take care and enjoy the next chapter (Y) _

_xo_


	15. And Your Time Has Finished

_Disclaimer; I do not own anything other than the OCs and the plot, thank you!_

* * *

><p><em>xoxo <em>

_15. And Your Time Has Finished_

It was the first of December. The day he had feared. Because this was the day where he would have to tell Lord Voldemort his choice. He knew it was early in the morning because the sun hadn't risen; and Sirius hadn't received any new visits from Lord Voldemort since he revealed the deep dark secret the older man was hiding. Since he was tortured and sworn to secrecy. Well not even sworn; more like forced.

Sirius knew it was true. If he had said that to any other pureblood, they would have laughed or responded with sarcasm. But for the first time since Sirius's kidnapping, he saw _fear _in the Dark Lord's eyes. Such fear. The door flew open and Sirius looked up. He expected it to be Bellatrix or Narcissa, or maybe even Voldemort demanding the choice. Well he had his choice; he knew what he was going to say to Lord Voldemort if it was him.

But it was neither of them. It was one of the last people Sirius expected to see. It was Severus Snape. He gasped at the total anger and hatred in Snape's face. And like Snape had done back in the parking lot; he pressed his index finger to his lips to signal silence.

'Look who it is, Sirius Black.' Snape called loudly, and then the door slammed. Immediately, Snape leapt forward and in three strides, was before Sirius, roughly pressing the tip of his wand into his neck.

'You utter _fool!_ What did I say? What did I tell you?' spat Snape vigorously. He pushed Sirius against the wall, with a hand around his throat and the tip of his wand pressed against Sirius's heart. 'Why shouldn't I just kill you now? The secret would die with you, she'll be safe.' Snape whispered the last part, his heart pining for her.

'Kill me then,' Sirius breathed. 'Oh please kill me, I can't bare the pain, I'm scared I'll betray them...' Sirius begged, his dignity forgotten.

Snape released Sirius, clutching at his hair and running a hand through it angrily. 'You pitiful fool! I-I can't. Believe me, I want too but I _can't _... I promised Dumbledore—' whispered Snape but he stopped when Sirius gasped, sinking down on the floor.

'You went to Dumbledore? Why?'

Snape looked up, into the eyes he hated. Looked up at the man he hated. And he sat down on the sofa, swallowing hesitantly and nervously looking towards the door.

'I said to you before Black,' breathed Snape in a deadly whisper. 'I'm on _Lily's _side.'

_xo _

_The Twenty Seventh of November_

_Severus's Memory_

Perhaps the most brilliant thing about Dumbledore was that he didn't care if you were a Death Eater. If you wanted a meeting, he'd give you a meeting. The last time Severus Snape had been here inside the office was when he was told his father died, at the beginning of his sixth year. He had also been there during his fifth year, when Black and Potter tried to get him killed. Using that dirty, filthy werewolf Remus Lupin. Severus had hated all of the Marauders, but he hated Potter the most. His arrogance, foolishness and pride infuriated Severus so much.

How could someone be clever, popular and rich all at the same time? It was like he was favoured above all. He was loved by many teachers, and he had so many friends. And in the end he got the girl, he got Severus's girl. He had won, just like he always did.

But Severus wasn't here to dwell on how much he loved _and_ hated Hogwarts. He was here because three days ago (barely an hour into the twenty fourth of November) Black had been caught. The damn fool. But Severus knew it was partially his fault. If he hadn't said anything then Black would still be hiding out somewhere safe, and most importantly with the secret safe. With Lily Evans safe. Severus refused to think of her as Lily _Potter._

Severus knocked on the oak door of Dumbledore's office. He heard a soft, 'Enter,' and when he did, he remembered as though it were yesterday, the night when Black tried to have him killed. It was a horrible day, and he remembered going to the boy's toilets and crying. Never had Severus been so scared in his life. He had been confronted – purely for Black's enjoyment – by a fully grown werewolf. A ravenous werewolf. And though Dumbledore thought Potter went in to save him, he knew Potter was part of the prank.

The horrid prank. Severus sat down when Dumbledore signalled him too. The walls were covered with portraits, some chatting to one another and others watching the scene. With a wave of his elder wand, the Headmaster conjured curtains to cover most of the portraits.

'The ones I trust,' he explained when Severus raised an eyebrow. 'It is nice to see you again Mr Snape, how have you been?'

Severus wasn't patient enough for pleasantries. He was eager to get the chat with Dumbledore over. He was anxious that maybe a Death Eater would see him. Or something totally illogical and childish. But he was defying the darkest wizard to have ever roamed the earth. And it frightened him a little. So he was allowed to be childish and illogical.

'I've been good Professor, but can we get down to the business.'

Dumbledore leaned forwards, an anxious expression on his face. He sighed and clasped his hands together, nodding. 'Tell me then Mr Snape, why you are here?'

'I think you already know,' Severus whispered.

'For Lily,'

And Severus nodded. 'Yes, for her. I'm sure you heard a few weeks ago about the near capture of Sirius Black. I aided him; I couldn't let him be captured. Then everything would fall. And she would fall. We worked together in keeping him undetected for a few weeks, and then I told him something I wish I never did. Something that aided in his capture.'

Dumbledore tilted his head questioningly. 'What, Severus?'

Severus looked down at his hands guiltily; he had never felt so bad. 'I ... I told him about his brother.'

The old Headmaster leant back in his chair, gesturing for Severus to explain the story. Severus breathed in deeply and jumped into the story.

The story of Regulus Black. The fake body, the fake funeral, but then Severus said something he had not told Sirius.

'Professor, you do know that Malfoy wasn't there at the time of Regulus's supposed death. If he is in fact dead at all.'

Dumbledore's eyes bulged. 'He might not be dead?'

'I'm not sure Professor, but I do know that the body was never found. He betrayed the Death Eaters like the coward he was, and then disappeared. Though if I hear anything, I'll be sure to tell you.' For once, there wasn't any sarcasm in his words. He was sincere. He truly meant his words.

'Severus...' Dumbledore started, and Snape felt a little uncomfortable. The Headmaster had never called him Severus before, and he'd said it a few times now. He wasn't sure if he liked it, but he was sure that it made him feel awkward and ill at ease. 'Severus, I don't think you understand the implications your choice could have. Though I would be honoured to have you aid and ... and inform—'

'Spy. I don't care if you say spy,'

A ghost of a smile flickered across Dumbledore's face. 'Though it would honour me, I am not sure whether you have thought this through.'

'I've been wondering about my choice to become a Death Eater since I was heard that it was perhaps Lily Evans being hunted. I regret it Professor, I regret it. I begged him, I begged the Dark Lord to spare her when he caught the Potters and he told me I could have any pureblood I wanted, why settle for a filthy Mudblood. But he said he would try, he would offer her when the time came a chance to leave unscathed. But I know Lily like I know myself, she would rather die.'

'What exactly do you regret?' asked Dumbledore in his quiet and patient voice.

'Don't act a fool Dumbledore, you know it was me who told the Dark Lord about the prophecy!' snapped Snape brazenly. He was so angry at himself. If he never told his Dark Lord about the prophecy that old fraud Trelawney foretold then Lily would be living the life she wanted to live; she wouldn't be hiding (half way across the world for all he knew) stuck in a house with that horrid James Potter.

'Yes I do, and I had hoped more. I thought you would have pondered over the meaning of Sybil's prophecy rather than hurry to Voldemort and tell him the unfinished prophecy, might I add. What did you hope to achieve? To prosper amongst the Death Eaters? To become your "Dark Lord's" favourite? And now you are one of his favourites. Say, is being regarded higher than most of his followers everything you wished for?'

Snape shook his head, his eyes watering. If anything happened to Lily, he would never forgive himself. He would rather die then live with the memory of his betrayal.

'No Professor, it's worse than I thought it would be. He pays close attention to me now... I think he suspects what I am doing now.'

'Don't be ridiculous Severus, he doesn't know a thing. But I am giving you a chance Severus, with no strings attached and the memory of this moment in my mind practically erased. I give you the chance to leave now. Though it would be so brave of you to become a spy for us.'

Severus sat there for hundreds of seconds, with nothing but the sound of Dumbledore sipping his teeth and the rustling of the portraits. Severus nodded after a moment. 'I want to keep her safe, I love her so much.'

The Headmaster smiled a sad and rather radiant smile. 'Of course. *Amor Vincit Omnia.' Dumbledore said with conviction and passion. And then he handed Severus a tissue to blow his nose and wipe the tears from his eyes. 'Of all the emotions, love is the conqueror.'

It was some time later when Severus found himself looking through the little pictures he had of Lily at his home. Most of them were when they had just started Hogwarts, and he was showing her how to use a wizard camera. He did have one from recent times though, one of her wedding. It had been in a magazine; the Great James Potter getting married to a Muggleborn. She looked stunning in it, with an elegant and simple peach-white dress. Her hair bounced with vivid, red curls, twirling down to her breasts. She was dancing with James Potter, and they looked so happy; so in love that it hurt Snape.

In a fit of anger, he ripped James from the photograph and discarded it. Then he looked once again at his Lily. She would always be his Lily. Snape wasn't sure how long he had loved her. It was since his fourth year maybe. Or even his third. But he knew he had fancied her since the first time they met. There had never been anyone else for him. Who else could be so funny, so daring and charismatic? So beautiful and so fierce? Who could be everything, and the antithesis of everything?

Snape wasn't even sure if that made sense but he thought it described her rather brilliantly. If this betrayal ended up being the death of him, then he would know he had done it for Lily. And for Snape there was no prouder way to die.

_xo _

Snape was glad he wasn't crying in front of Black. Oh how he hated the man. With every fibre in his being, and a few weeks of helping the arrogant man out wasn't going to stop that. Years of bullying and fighting; name calling and embarrassing ... it would take a lot more than a shared goal to fix.

'I'm on her side,' Snape whispered, looking hastily towards the door. For him all he had ever wanted was a happy Lily. And until the day he died was he going to protect her. If a life without him in it made Lily happy, then a life without him was what she was going to get.

Oh he would help from the sidelines. He didn't want her to know; he didn't care if she knew all he had done for her; all he was _still doing _for her. In fact it was better this way.

'Are you going to get me out?' Sirius asked, looking down at his bound hands.

Snape scoffed, laughing quietly for a moment. 'You deserve every second of pain you get. He wouldn't kill you until he gets the secret. So until then good luck.' Snape sneered sarcastically. He watched as Black's face contorted into fright and pain.

'Fuck you then,' Black whispered, turning away to look out of the window. 'I'd rather accomplish this alone.'

'It would be better if you died—'

'KILL ME THEN! KILL ME YOU COWARD!' Sirius Black roared, the madness Blacks were infamous for blazed like fire in his eyes and cackled his hair with electricity. In that split second, Severus felt scared, _so_ scared of the man before him.

'I _told _you, I can't.'

_xo _

_The Thirtieth of November_

_Severus's Memory _

Severus was a little worried; he was supposed to be meeting Avery and Mulciber (some old school acquaintances and fellow Death Eaters) but instead Dumbledore had declared a meeting – a very important meeting. Severus hadn't actually been to the Malfoy Manor yet since the capture. But what else was expected when he was caring for some of the injured Death Eaters after the horrible Diagon Alley battle. He barely had time to do anything.

To be brutally honest Severus was ashamed of how awfully his side battled. So they got Black in the end, with three deaths and multiple injuries. And it was just one man, one mediocre man. Though Snape knew his own personal experiences with the man contributed to his rather untrue analysis. He knew Black was bright, but he wouldn't admit it out loud. He knew Black was an almighty fighter, but he winced at the thought.

'What do you want?' Severus snapped rather rudely to Dumbledore. Severus was wearing his usual black robes, billowing even without any wind.

Dumbledore raised an eyebrow. The old man did not bode well to disrespect. 'Sit down,' his voice wasn't usually curt or bleak, but it was now. Severus sat down. 'What is with the attitude, dear friend?'

'I had to meet Mulciber and Avery ten minutes ago; they're going to get suspicious if I'm late.'

Dumbledore clapped his hands together. 'Well then, we'll try and make this as quick as possible. The first is obvious reason I brought you hear was just to bring up a point I forgot to say at our last meeting.'

Severus raised an eyebrow. 'And what was that?'

'Do not kill Sirius Black.' Dumbledore's voice was hard and cold and stern; much like Professor McGonagall's voice.

Severus furiously bit his lip, 'But why?' he spat angrily. 'Killing that useless brat Black would keep the secret safe?'

'He will keep it safe. His love for his friends is enough to keep the secret safe—'

'I don't think you understand Professor. You've never been there when he tortures. It's...' Snape didn't need to finish the sentence. Dumbledore could envision it quite perfectly. 'Black would be begging for death in the first hour.'

'Voldemort is more interested in Sirius than you think; he'll give Sirius a chance. But whether or not it would be better for him, _do not kill him_.'

The power of Dumbledore's blue eyes were indescribable. Severus shivered. 'I'll try my best,'

And the old Headmaster knew that was the best answer he would get. 'On a brighter note, you'll be starting the Potion's master position at the end of Easter. Horace has had too much, and would prefer a quiet retirement—'

'Professor, I applied for the Defence Against the Dark Arts position.'

Dumbledore nodded. 'Oh I know, but that doesn't mean I'll trust you with it. No, your powers are much needed in Potions. I remember you were by far one of Slughorn's best students – if I remember correctly, he said the best in the last thirty five years.'

Severus felt very angry, but kicking and screaming wouldn't help. Perhaps if Dumbledore saw how trustworthy he could be then in a few years Snape would get the DADA position. For now he just had to be patient. Sighing, he nodded.

'For now, yes, I might as well. I need the money.'

Dumbledore grinned at him. 'Off you go then Mr Snape. Come up with a good story as to why you are—' the Headmaster looked at the golden ticking clock behind him, 'Twenty three minutes late. Good luck.'

_xo _

'You promised Dumbledore? My life is riding on a promise from you? The insufferable and cruel bastard, who if he could, would snap my neck faster than I could say sorry! I'm not falling for your half-arsed bullshit Snape!' Black growled, slowly rising with his unfathomable grey eyes trained on Severus.

Severus raised an eyebrow, cocking his head. 'Just like I am to trust _you_, the arrogant and stupid Gryffindor? In hopes he will protect the woman I love?'

Black gaped for a second with his eyes as wide as saucepans. 'You think I would betray Lily? I love her as if she were my sister! Don't you _dare _say that! I've been here for her in ways you haven't.' He growled, his eyes radiating the fury he felt.

Severus in turn frowned. How dare Black insinuate that he hadn't cared or been there for Lily? Wasn't this all for her? Wasn't he risking his life for her? His face turned into a rather hideous scowl, but a powerful scowl too.

'I've helped her!' shouted Snape.

'How?' retorted Sirius Black.

'Yes Snape, how?' said someone from the door. Snape barely even looked up at Mulciber walking in, a good friend of his. And the number of times he had repeated the charm he was about to say, was quite honestly dangerous and _illegal_ and would get him chucked into Azkaban.

'Obliviate!' he hissed. Mulciber's eyes rolled back into his head. Snape turned back to face Sirius with such hatred in his face that Sirius would have rolled over and died a few dozen times had he not been so use to similar glares from his parents and cousins. 'In turn, don't you ever question what I would do for Lily, you fool,' sneered Snape, hurrying from the room. 'I've promised to help you Black, but only for Lily. And not because I want you alive.'

Mulciber, when he regained consciousness (the Memory Charms were taking a toll on his endurance for pain and memory confunding) thought Sirius had done something to him, and in turn tortured the poor man until his body was quivering.

But like all the other times he had been tortured by Death Eaters, he didn't scream. He saved that privilege for Lord Voldemort, only he was pissed that he was inflating the bastard's ego.

Sirius crawled up; his hands bound thanks to Mulciber, all the way to one of the many cabinets in the attic. Behind it was the painting he had done for Lord Voldemort. A painting of the Marauders. It had a lot of effort put into it, as Sirius grasped any opportunity his hands weren't bound to continue painting. It wasn't finished, but it was close. And it was marvellously accurate. He was rather proud. He had always been told he was a sensational painter, and he knew he was.

Resting his head on the wall and trying to calm himself with quick breaths, all Sirius could think about was the rage Voldemort would inflict upon him.

And it frightened Sirius like nothing else could.

_xo _

Remus gasped. He slumped forward, with bruises and cuts all over his body. Well that was what a battle with three Death Eaters tended to result in. Ah well, he gave as good as he got. But without Sirius or the Potters or Peter, he only really had one person left to trust.

At least for now. But he was still smiling despite all the pain he could feel. Rose was safe, she was with James now. And Remus knew Prongs still cared for her, he wouldn't let Rose get hurt. And James was better at this whole child thing then Remus, heck, Lily was there! The baby would be fed and changed.

And most importantly, safe.

Only one more flight of stairs to go and he'd be at Jane's house. She had the rest of the week off, and he was so thankful that he had decided to give her the last three days of the week off. Otherwise he wouldn't have had anyone to go to. He didn't have any real friends left. And though Jane wasn't a real one, he really did fancy her quite a bit. And he trusted her, trusted her with his life just like he trusted her with his secret.

Remus dragged his body up the stairs and it was very hard, he didn't exactly win. But he did stun one, injured another and then he was left battling with a vicious bastard; the best fighter of the lot so really, he was pissed and annoyed and in fuck loads of pain.

There was also the fact that he couldn't get into his flat; there were quite a few Death Eaters there. He knew it wasn't smart at the time and even now, but he had apparated to the block of flats. That was where he had battled the three wizards. They had seen him.

What was he going to do? He had no clothes, all of his precious belongings resided inside that flat. A flat that Sirius and James had helped him pay for. Every time he lost a job and couldn't pay the rent, they did it for him.

_Out of love._

Remus gasped in another rasping breath and knocked on the bright green door. Seconds later it opened, with Jane in a nightgown and a biscuit in her hand. She saw Remus, with his cuts and bruises and she gasped.

'Oh Remus!' Jane said, moving aside and putting an arm around him when he was past the threshold. Angrily, she stuck her head out of the doorway and looked around. Satisfied, she made her way over to Remus who was sitting on the sofa.

Jane knelt down besides him. His nose was bloody, and he had bruises forming all over his face. He was still in his pyjamas, but the rather nice coat he wore was singed and ripped.

'Oh Remus, what happened?' she whispered, wiping some of the dry blood from his face. He smiled, with a split lip. And it didn't look the right colour. Jane almost gagged.

'Death Eaters,' he rasped. 'Looking for Rose and her son, to use against Sirius—'

'But why would they need to use Rose and her son against Sirius? Is it for the mission?' she had already conjured her Medi-kit. She pulled out a Disinfectant Potion. Remus gulped it all down.

'It's for the mission yes, and they think if they have leverage then he'll throw the mission.' He said, smacking his lips together after wiping his mouth.

Jane gnawed on her lip whilst she put on some salve to help fade his bruises. He winced but let her continue, letting her resume to her tender, hesitant caressing. She smoothed the salve into his skin slowly, almost in a seductive manner. 'W-would he do it?'

'I honestly don't know. I've been best friends with him for over ten years and he's still a riddle to me sometimes,' Remus said sadly. 'But I got them away. I got Rose and her son away, somewhere safe. No one would find them, I can swear on that.'

'What about _you _Remus? Are you safe?' she urged gently, tilting his head to look at her. And he looked at her pretty green-gold eyes and short brown hair smoothed back and tucked behind her ears. After a long moment of thinking hard, Remus nodded almost reluctantly.

'Yeah, I think I'll be safe.'

_xo _

James was cuddled up with his son Harry. He had taken his son out in the garden and rode him on James's very good broom. Lily had thrown a fit when James had done it for the first time (Harry was barely a month old) but she was used to it now. She knew her son was safe.

Harry was still huffing and grinning from the ride and was too shocked to do much other than breathe.

'Good? Or Bad?' asked James, looking down at his carbon copy.

Harry looked up, with those beautiful emerald eyes. And he broke into one of those baby smiles with white shiny teeth and a little dribble. It was the second day Rose was here, and it wasn't as bad as James thought it would be.

Lily was upstairs doing Rose's room properly. They were going to move Harry's crib back into the master bedroom, and Rose would take the small room.

'Dog,' Harry said, laughing. 'Good dog.'

James barked a laugh, remembering the day Sirius had started Harry saying dog. It was rather frustrating but it was such a bittersweet memory. Every time he heard 'DOG!' screeched, he would smile at the memory, and run off to see what the hell his son wanted.

James pulled out a bar of chocolate. 'D'you want some Harry?'

Harry started nodding quickly, his hand shooting out to grasp the bar of chocolate. He was very fast, it made James so proud. His son would make a great chaser.

Breaking off a very small piece, he slipped it into his son's open mouth.

'James, you're not supposed to give him chocolate,' Lily said, coming into the room looking thoroughly tired.

James grinned and broke off another piece, popping it into Harry's demanding mouth.

'How was your date with Taten?'

'Asides from me lecturing her again about what she's done to Padfoot? Nothing, why?'

James laughed, putting the bar of chocolate away and earning a screech in response. He kissed Harry's head and set him down hesitantly. Holding Harry's arms, he helped Harry take a few steps to his Mother. Then softly, he let go. Harry toddled towards Lily, swayed, toddled again and reached her. And it was just as well, the boy couldn't walk properly. Only a few steps, and when he had something to hold onto he could last only a little longer.

'Why hasn't he started walking yet? I could walk when I was about eleven months old.' James said, watching Harry use Lily's hands as support and stomping on the spot with his chubby legs.

'That might be my fault; it took me a few months after I turned one to start walking. He's already grasped the basics. Maybe if you spent more time trying to teach him instead of sitting in front of the WWN, then he'd be able to walk.'

James frowned, finding no humour in her joke. And Lily was a very funny person; she was, during her humour, very much like Remus – sarcastic and smart.

Lily's face softened guiltily. She shook her head and her voice took on a kinder tone. 'I-I just mean today was the first time in over two weeks that you've actually paid attention to Harry. I'm sure if you helped him he'd walk properly.'

James nodded softly, deciding to overlook what she had insinuated. About him not really being there for his son. 'Fine. Okay, I have seven days to get him walking alone.'

Lily grinned in relief and shook his outstretched hand. 'Deal,'

And he wrapped an arm around her waist, nuzzling her neck lovingly and kissing her plump lips. 'I love you,' he breathed, all thoughts about his annoyance at her flying out of the window. Her skin was very soft, and it wasn't as pale as it used to be; James didn't like pale skin much.

'Oh baby,' Lily whispered, kissing him back passionately and slipping a hand under his shirt to feel the muscles in his back. But it was interrupted by a loud scream they heard from upstairs. 'Shall I do it?' asked James, and Lily collapsed on the sofa tiredly when he hurried up the stairs.

_xo _

Sirius was huddled in the attic. The symphony his growling stomach made was rather entertaining. He looked longingly at the empty glass sitting on his painting desk. For the first time, he had gotten more than a piece of fruit. He had received _two _pieces of fruit. How generous of Lord Voldemort. It was an hour to midnight and Sirius was quite literally shitting himself.

Especially when he heard footsteps. He breathed in and out, closing his eyes and visualising a happy and _alive _James. A healthy and peaceful Lily. And his beautiful godson Harry.

Sirius knew he was ready. He squared his shoulders and propped his bound hands on his knee.

Bursting through the door was Bellatrix and two other Death Eaters that Sirius wasn't at all bothered to even try and recognise.

It had only been a week, and he was so tired. His body was so tired. He wanted to die.

Waving her wand, Sirius's body was thrown backwards. As soon as he caught his breath he laughed.

'Got your privileges back then?' he hissed bitterly. A wave of a curse he had never experienced flashed over his body, and he grunted the loudest he had for any Death Eater. It was so close to a scream he was amazed at his will power. It was as though his body was on fire; and he'd experienced that twice during the battles with the Death Eaters.

'Got you to make a noise,' Bellatrix whispered, walking closer to Sirius. 'Let's see if I can make you scream?' She said, grinning wildly.

'No Bellatrix, the Dark Lord sent us here to bring him downstairs.' It was Dolohov. Man, did Sirius want to run and kiss him.

Bellatrix groaned, sending a glare at Dolohov. 'Fine then, let's bring him...' Dolohov and the second Death Eater approached Sirius, grabbing him roughly by the arms and dragging him. His ribs groaned in protest, and he cried lightly when they all but threw him down the few steps, with only a hand on his arm to stop Sirius from completely dying on his tumble down the stairs.

'You see Sirius,' Bellatrix said, leading the way towards the next flight of stairs. 'We've set up a rather lovely initiation for you, with candles and about thirty or so Death Eaters – the Dark Lord's favourites. And we wanted you to really appreciate it. Though you a_re _dressed like a tramp...' She said, turning around just before Dolohov and the other Death Eater threw Sirius down the stairs.

'But you look stunning anyway,' she commented, following them down the stairs. Sirius's body was rasping and pleading for the pain to go. It hurt so much, it hurt him so much.

His ribs felt like they were caving inwards, and his arms were heavy and dead. Had he broken a bone?

'Fuck you,' gasped Sirius with his eyes closed. All he had was his pride. He wasn't going to beg – but they were going to try and make him beg.

'Bellatrix?' Sirius heard someone say, and when he looked up, she was so close to his face he almost jumped back in fright.

She grabbed a fistful of his hair, and slapped him across the face. 'The Dark Lord said I could be the first to play, and believe me Sirius, we will play.'

And the journey towards the enormous dining hall continued. Bellatrix entered first. And she was right. There were so many Death Eaters.

About thirty or so occupied chairs forming a circle. In the centre was Lord Voldemort, in robes black as night, and with a smile cold as ice.

Sirius's body started trembling when he was pulled forwards. And when he was in the circle, Dolohov threw him down. It hurt. Sirius glanced up, kneeling before the Dark Lord. Voldemort smiled. Sirius looked around. He could see many people he recognised. Snape was one of them, with an unfathomable expression in his eyes. Sirius could see Amycus Carrow. He could see Narcissa. He could see everyone and everyone could see him.

He felt very self conscious. He wished he had a shirt, he didn't want everyone ogling at his tattoos, images of his soul and his love.

'Welcome our guest, Sirius Black.' Voldemort said, clapping. Many of the Death Eaters followed his example and clapped, chuckling at Voldemort's sarcasm.

'It's an honour to be here,' Sirius rasped. He looked up and met Lord Voldemort's eyes. The Dark Lord smiled, and it was one of those frightening smiles that was worse than a frown because it meant he was happy. And only sadness could bring Lord Voldemort's happiness; only pain could bring his ecstasy.

Lord Voldemort chuckled. 'Sadly, this humour isn't only for you, my faithful followers. It is something I have yet to become accustomed too, though have thoroughly enjoyed during the last few days. Say, Sirius, would you mind telling us a joke?'

Sirius felt his face warm up. He was being humiliated; he was being made a joke of. And how could he regain some of that dignity?

'Want to hear a joke? How about you? And this organisation? This _cause _you are all fighting for?'

Voldemort whipped out his wand. 'You are not making a very good impression on us Sirius. _Crucio!_' It hurt so badly. Sirius opened his mouth and hollered. The tears rolled down his cheeks like boulders, and his screams maintained such a high pitch.

The spell was released, and he sagged. Everyone started clapping, and Voldemort took a bow. 'You see, my followers, my friends ... You need to command his _fear_, his _respect ... and only then _will you command his screams. Bellatrix, up you get. Why don't you try? You are most gifted at this sort of thing.'

Bellatrix bounced into the circle, with her curls bouncing and her smile cruel and cold. She pulled out her wand and bellowed the Cruciatus Curse.

Sirius grunted loud, and he hissed but he didn't scream. When she released it (only because Lord Voldemort commanded her to do so) Sirius laughed short and hard. 'Is that your best Bel?'

She roared with fury and raised her wand. Voldemort screamed in anger. 'Stop! Sit down Bellatrix; let us talk to our prisoner first.'

Reluctantly she sat down, but her feet were inches from Sirius's bare ones. And she stepped down hard on them.

'Is that all you want to be Sirius? A prisoner? And soon, a dead man? I've told you before...'

Looking up with great exhaustion, and barely any will power left, Sirius nodded. 'I'm not going to betray them because you've asked me too. Who are you to me?'

'I am your Lord.' Voldemort declared.

'Lords protect their people,' whispered Sirius. His throat felt bloody and raw from the screaming. He could taste the blood.

'And I shall protect my people. From Mudbloods and traitors, and from fools like you. I told you I was generous Sirius Black. I gave you a week.'

'All I needed was a moment,' Sirius breathed exhaustedly. 'My choice is not to sacrifice my _brother _James Potter, and his wife and his son for you, someone whom I hate more than the very blood running through my veins.'

Voldemort's eyes had taken on that insatiable fury. 'Your choice was simple. To take the path your fate and _your_ blood have set out for you? Or to follow the path you've carved yourself? The path that will end in no good.'

Sirius felt his eyes well up with tears. His body was quite literally screaming in protest, and he could barely breathe from the pain in his lungs. 'But I love them,' he breathed, looking up with watering eyes and a quivering lip.

'But is love not the greatest downfall?'

Slowly and tiredly, Sirius nodded once.

'So I take it, Sirius Black, that you have made your choice?' Voldemort whispered, stepping closer and pointing his wand down at the slumped body.

Sirius thought for a second, visualised what he could be like if he accepted the offer? He wouldn't be in any pain; he could be victorious and proud. He would be respected. His Mother would be proud of him, and perhaps if Sirius changed sides then he could patch things up for her.

But he would lose his _real _family. Slowly, but with more vigour and passion than any other move he had made, Sirius nodded repeatedly. Even through the curses and scowls sent his way.

'Speak, boy, have you lost your courage already?'

And it was that taunt that sent Sirius growling, with bared teeth. 'Yes, _Voldemort_.' He sneered, smiling just as icily. There were gasps. There were gasps and hisses and screams and shouts. No one said that name, no one who wanted to live. No one who wanted to stay alive.

But Voldemort was the only person who perhaps remained calm. Though his eyes boiled red and his face had taken on a flushed expression, but his smile remained tight and cruel.

'Of course then, Sirius Black. Of course. You had made your choice a week ago, a month ago. But this choice will be your downfall. Your choice will be the reason your loved ones die, and your enemies prosper. Your choice will be the reason _I _rise amongst the Wizarding World and win. Because I am not a fool. I do not love, nor do I care. And it is for that reason that I will win.'

Sirius started trembling; his body was shaking in anticipation for the fear yet to come.

'I will win. And I will always win.' laughed Voldemort.

Within a mile radius of the Malfoy Manor, had there not been any Concealment Charms to block it from the sight and sound of Muggles, then everyone would have heard that heartbreaking scream, lasting for thousands of seconds.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Amor Vincit Omnia* - Love conquers all. Latin, and the language of magic in the Harry Potter series. _

_I hope you liked this chapter, leave a comment please, thanks_

_x_


	16. We Are Not Two, But One

_Disclaimer; I do not own anything but the OCs and the plot, thank you!_

* * *

><p><em>xoxo<em>

_16. We Are Not Two, But One_

_The Eighth of December; 12:20_

The shackles were silver and glittered in the soft light wafting through the large open window. The room was still the same as before - it was still an attic. But the attic looked different. The sofa was gone; the flooring had turned from a soft brown wood to a cold and dark grey marble. The walls were not light anymore, but a black-grey stone. It wasn't only the sofa that was gone, _all _the furniture was gone. Save the chains and manacles tying the handsome young man to the stone walls.

His body was slumped, and his bare chest had quite a bit of dried blood on it. There were split wounds and bruises littering his muscular body. After all the Death Eaters weren't known for their kindness.

His lips were swollen, and his piercing grey eyes were small slits. He wasn't asleep though, just in such unimaginable pain that _it hurt to breathe_. But it was something that was necessary. And he had no choice. Because he begged for oxygen when he was under the Cruciatus Curse.

'Sirius?'

There was that voice. The voice that had Sirius's body trembling ... that had his lips quivering and his eyes streaming with tears. He was so scared of that voice. He was so scared of the monster standing before him.

'Sirius?' a soft whisper. Voldemort's voice was always a soft, hissing, serpentine whisper. 'You didn't answer my question? What is your favourite colour?'

He didn't have the energy, but he found that ignoring Voldemort when the Dark Lord wanted an answer most infuriated him. And that when he spoke at a time not for talking, the Dark Lord grew even angrier.

But rebellion was what Sirius thrived in. He had done it when he was young; silly things like not eating his dinner and beating Kreacher the house elf up. And when he was in Hogwarts his rebellions grew larger; getting in trouble at school and going out with Mudbloods and blood traitors. It was his specialty.

'You aren't going to answer? I'll have to find out another time, our bittersweet hour together has faded. Much like your courage. Aren't Gryffindors supposed to be courageous?'

Biting his lip hard, Sirius managed (with great difficulty) to ignore the bait. Lord Voldemort was leaving soon; he would be safe. Until the next Death Eater came up for some 'Venting Time'. Because that was what they were calling it. If they had too much on their mind, or they were pissed off they would come to Sirius and cast all the magic and anger and frustration out on him. And though it hurt like hell, he welcomed it. Better than a taste of Lord Voldemort's wand.

'Have you already forgotten how to speak? Have you already lost your mind? But I will most gravely miss your rhetoric and your sarcasm. Who will keep me entertained?'

'Bellatrix?' Sirius spat out, without thinking. A few drops of blood splattered from his mouth (Lord Voldemort wasn't only using the Torture Curse now) and inked the stone floor.

'Oh yes, yes Bellatrix is entertaining. I will be sure to send her up in an hour or two. We have a meeting Sirius, a meeting about you. How honoured must you be?'

'Very,' whispered Sirius, his throat grating.

Another quick curse and Sirius grunted and though his arms were in a fit of pain he waved around and rustled the loud shackles. Lord Voldemort chuckled. 'I'll see you soon Sirius,' he whispered. The lights extinguished and blinds conjured before the window.

Lord Voldemort sealed the door with the strongest Locking Charm he knew (invented by himself) and waved the Death Eaters on patrol forward. They bowed and fell back so their Lord was before them. They could also tell by his expression that he was not happy.

It had been a week since Sirius openly turned down the request of joining the Dark Lord. And it had therefore been a week of subjection to such pain. They could all hear his screams even two floors down. But they all revelled in it. The dirty blood traitor deserved it. In fact, they believed he deserved to lose limbs. Perhaps that would persuade him more.

But the Dark Lord, whenever amputation was mentioned, shook his head and smiled. 'I've got better things in store for him.' He would say. 'We wouldn't want to taint his handsome body now would we?'

They followed him to the main dining room, where there was a table for twenty people. At the head of the table was a large thrown where only Lord Voldemort sat. He looked around, watching all of his trusted followers. And they in turn bowed their heads and whispered words of praise.

Then everyone could hear (the room was silent) something slithering across the oak floor. And jumping onto the table was Nagini. Or at least, 'Jump' was the closest thing to describing how she suddenly appeared. Many of the Death Eaters shivered, especially when Nagini wrapped herself around her master.

Little did any of them know, but she was Voldemort's second horcrux. Little did anyone know that he _had _any horcruxes. He had only been experimenting. But when he realised he could make horcruxes, he desperately jumped onto the quest of producing them. And then the Potter family (and the Longbottoms) struck his attention. He didn't have any time to produce more of them. Besides, two was enough ... _for now._ The first was a locket, the Gaunt's locket. Voldemort had stolen it some years ago, and had finally put it to good use.

Besides, it was hidden somewhere no one would look. No one could look! The hiding place was too good ... the hiding place was on a very small island surrounded by Inferi, in a cave near a seaside. It was somewhere Voldemort had hitherto visited since he was ten or eleven. On heinous trips organised by the orphanage.

He had his eye on two objects as well to turn into horcruxes after the Potters were dealt with; the Hufflepuff cup and possibly the Gryffindor sword? Or even the Ravenclaw's diadem, if he could ever manage to find it.

Voldemort stroked Nagini's head. 'Good evening,' he called. All the Death Eaters called out, but after a few moments he raised a hand and they quietened down. Sitting closest to Lord Voldemort were Bellatrix, Severus, Barty Crouch Jr., Lucius Malfoy (in a wheelchair) and Dolohov. They were some of his most trusted. And though Voldemort didn't trust anyone, not entirely, he trusted some enough to complete special tasks for him.

'It has been two weeks since we captured Black exactly. It has been one week since he was subjected to a pain-to-pain torture routine. And he is cracking, but not _breaking!_ I fear that he may be resilient for days, weeks maybe even months to come.'

There was silence; though some were muttering under there breaths and cursing the arrogant young man a few floors above. Bellatrix was brave enough however, to mention what everyone was thinking. She looked too old for someone so young. A few years ago, some would even say she looked like a teenager. Bellatrix was only in her late twenties. But she looked worn and a little frightened. But when Voldemort looked at her, a radiant smile lit up her face that took a decade off her, and she looked nineteen again.

'My Lord,' she said quickly. 'Perhaps we can threaten him with the knowledge of his son—'

Voldemort screamed and slapped the table, his glistening red eyes bulging. '_What have I said? _Do not tell him about the illegitimate child he has! We need to save that knowledge for more desperate times. It has only been two weeks. We still have time!'

Bellatrix's expression looked mixed between admiration and terror. She settled for a mixture of both and bowed her head. 'I'm sorry my Lord.'

There atmosphere in the room was cackling with electricity for many moments until finally Voldemort composed himself enough to talk. 'If anyone tells Black about his son...'

The threat didn't need to be completed. They were all scared enough. Many of the followers declared to keep it a secret, and then Voldemort waved it off.

'We need to use different tactics,' Voldemort said, his voice regaining its silkiness and serpentine quality that frightened anyone sane. 'Legilimency. I must try and retrieve the secret from his mind, though Bella informs me that all Blacks are adept at Occlumency.'

Bellatrix's voice took a deep and sombre tone. 'It is a family tradition. When magical signs first become evident, the child is trained in Occlumency. Unfortunately, my cousin Sirius was one of the most skilful at it.'

There were hisses, and cries of annoyance. The Dark Lord chuckled. 'He may be good, yes. But he cannot beat me.'

There was a round of vicious and passionate applause. When it quietened down, Lucius Malfoy tentatively raised his hand. 'My Lord?'

Voldemort nodded, stroking his enormous snake which hissed in approval.

'In the meantime, what are the plans for him? Are we to still subject him to torture, pain, and starvation?'

Malfoy had a withered air about him. Ever since Sirius Black had taken the use of his legs away from him he hadn't been eating much, his eyes were permanently dark and with bags carved under his eyes. His hair was wispy, and his skin was pale white. His dreams were riddled with the face of Black, and golden light being sucked from Malfoy himself into Sirius's palm. Malfoy thought that the golden light was supposed to represent his legs. Oh how he longed to have a shot at Black.

He hated the man so much. Every time he thought of Black his blood boiled and his upper lip trembled. But Malfoy wasn't going to inflict Black _pain_, well at least not physical pain. He was going to haunt Black long after he had left the room.

'In the meantime Lucius, we shall confuse him. Let us play the games Aurors play. Let us do, what do they call it? Ah – the good Auror bad Auror routine? Only in confusion, shall we drift closer to retrieving the secret. To gaining the knowledge of where Harry Potter is hiding.'

The room burst into applause once again, and Lord Voldemort basked in it. And he watched as his snake slithered down the table, and all but maybe two Death Eaters moved as far away from it as they could.

'Severus? Tell everyone of the fantastic news you have.'

Severus looked up, his skin ash white and his rather stunning eyes the colour of onyx. 'Yes my Lord. I was recently summoned by Dumbledore in regard to my job application. Though the fool does not trust me with the Defence Against the Dark Arts subject, he has given me the Potions position. I start after Easter.'

There were some cackles, and some thumbs up. 'Can anyone tell me w_hy _a position in Hogwarts is so necessary?' Voldemort asked, his eyes already betraying his boredom. He longed to visit Black and have another chat. The man could be so entertaining.

'A spy!' shouted one of the Death Eaters, and there was laughter and cheering.

'Yes, a spy. Perhaps our greatest enemy is Dumbledore. And though he will have his eye on Severus, Dumbledore will be watched too. And not a move he makes will go past me. Now, on a more sombre note, Black is in dire need of a visitor. Who would like to go first while the rest of us talk of plans of infiltrating the Ministry?'

Almost all the Death Eaters raised their hands and started screeching for the Dark Lord's attention. It was a tough choice; between Sirius Black and scheming. But it was the ever patient Lucius Malfoy who caught Voldemort's eye.

'Would you do the honours, Lucius?'

A cold and sadistic smile flickered across his face. 'Of course my Lord.' After all, Lucius deserved it the most. He deserved revenge the most. And Voldemort could already guess the pain he would put Black through; _the emotional pain._ And if torture was taking too long, perhaps upsetting him would push him closer to the edge than they had reached before. They would finally get a satisfactory reaction.

_xo _

An attack was waging forward. Like a cheetah after prey. Only the attack was still so far behind. But Headmaster Albus Dumbledore could smell it. He could taste it. On the other hand, he had also received a visit from the amazing and mysterious Sybil Trelawney just yesterday. And so Albus was already preparing everything. He knew the light side would lose in month; just a month. Albus knew he could make his side win if he wanted to, but they had to lose. They had to surrender. And if Voldemort grew complacent, only then could they reach the goal of winning this war. Consequently, Albus was pondering on whether what he was going to do was right or wrong. A hundred lives for a hundred thousand? If his plan worked (and they usually did) then he would save more than he would lose.

It was for the Greater Good. But then why did he feel like he was playing God? From the sounds of it, as the ending year waned the inevitable battle between Voldemort and the Aurors would begin. It was hard for Albus to stand and watch, but he needed to. He was going to continue as Voldemort expected him to, and when the time was right he would walk away from everything he had as a prisoner of war. That was what he was going to be after all. A prisoner of Voldemort's. It was the eighth of December. And it was half past nine in the evening. Albus was sitting in his office, with a glass of brandy on his desk and a fire cackling behind him.

There was an Order meeting in less than ten minutes, in Kingley's place like before. Minerva would remain here to take care of the students, and besides, it was nothing Albus couldn't tell her later at night. He sighed and tiredly stood up, brushing his robes and finishing his brandy. He didn't like Order meetings; they were so much more daunting and frightening than any other type of meeting Albus experienced. But there was also the fact that he had to make a choice today. Whether to protect his Order members or whether to make a choice that would send them tumbling down a dark road. Some would die, that was inevitable. But it was all for the Greater Good just like Sybil had said. He was going to use her to get the answers to the future. Already he was feeding her potions to release her inner seer. It was wrong of course, but it was for the Greater Good.

He was saying that a lot lately, as if it was an excuse to do as he pleased and hurt whom he wanted all in the name of a future that was not written in stone.

The dark and ominous paths of the war were rather obvious. Either he tried to keep Voldemort's side out of power, therefore _with_ Albus fighting. It was the best choice that would save them all more time. But the better choice (rather, better in the long run) was to wage a battle with Lord Voldemort whilst they were weaker than his side. That would end in Albus's capture. Oh, he could battle his way out of being captured but it didn't mean he was going to. With Albus out of the way, Voldemort would seize the Ministry and become Minister of Magic in everything but physicality. He would most probably place a Death Eater there; a placebo.

He would control and dictate the lives of every person living in Britain, and he would rule. But he would fall. Trelawney had told him that. The Darkest Lord would fall faster and harder than he had originally been intended too. Only Albus had to have a few words with a certain member of the Marauders. He'd give Remus a clue, a little clue that Snape had set him on.

The whole Regulus Black ordeal. The young boy was dead, he had been killed in some sort of underground island near a place Voldemort used to visit when he was younger. But that was as far as had Albus gotten with the little mystery. When Albus had visited the seaside, and neared closer to where he was sure something rather significant was, his magic had sensed that there were cold and evil things down there. And besides, there were enchantments and spells blocking Albus from entering. Albus could break it, but there was also the simple case of him needing someone else with him.

Flickering his gaze towards the clock, he put his wand in his pockets but not before casting a Disillusionment Charm.

Albus was going to do some investigating, he would leave a letter for Sirius Black when the man escaped (it was inevitable, Voldemort should have known he could never keep Sirius caged up for too long) explaining all about what happened to Regulus, only he actually needed to find out what had happened. He needed the help from whoever was with him the day he died. Albus would start with Walburga Black, surely she knew something. But he would save that for another day.

With his billowing robes, he hurried out of his office and down the staircase. Many students were lurking, even though it was past most of their curfews. A few were arguing, whereas some were indulging in ... romantic activities. It almost made Albus sad to know he'd never love someone. "He didn't have time for it'" was his frequent excuse. But he could make time. "He had a lot on his mind" was also another justification he often used, but it was a lie; he could clear some space in his large mindful cavern.

The true reason was Albus had loved, and he had lost. He had lost hard. And it hurt just as hard as it had when he lost loved ones to death; losing the love of his life had been as bad as Albus had ever imagined it to be. Because he lost Grindelwald to the dark, the evil.

His footsteps were fast and swift as he strode over to the enormous school gates. There were natural, and almost automatic charms cast on the gates for protection, cast by the Hogwarts founders. But Albus had also added his own. He didn't mind getting hurt himself but there was no way he could endanger the lives of his pupils. When he was outside the gates, he looked around subconsciously and disapparated. It was quick, sharp and he appeared a few metres from the front door of Kingsley's large home.

Plastering a smile on his face, Albus knocked with a calm and serene expression. But inside he was kicking and screaming. Was he going to go through with this? It was for the Greater Good.

Remus Lupin answered the door which surprised Albus. The young man had been hiding for a couple of days and hadn't returned to work. It had been on the WWN about Remus being attacked for "no reason" when in truth he had been attacked by Death Eaters searching for Rose Taten and her son. But it didn't matter; everyone knew the Minister was easily corruptible and spineless. Bodewell would sell anyone out for the right price, even his own daughter!

'It's good to see you Professor,' Remus said politely, moving aside to let the Headmaster in. The young man had always been polite. It was such a shock when in his first few weeks he started hanging around with the rebellious reject Sirius Black and the spoiled show off James Potter. But the boys had brought laughter and smiles amongst the faces of everyone, save a few of their rather ridiculous pranks that had endangered a few lives.

'Thank you Remus, its reassuring to see you are doing well after that whole ordeal,' asked Albus, brushing his shoes on the mat and following Remus to the large dining room. There were gaps in the huge circle, which had once been filled over a month ago. It was sad.

Albus sat at the front, where a seat was saved for him. But there were also a few familiar faces that had returned. Like the Prewett brothers. Fabian and Gideon. They had been on a very important trip to Germany, who had one of the biggest magical armies and quite a few different breeds of magical creatures.

'Good evening,' Albus said politely, looking over to Moody whose face was glum. 'We are missing some of our most faithful members. The Potters have gone, as you all know, and are running from Lord Voldemort. Sirius Black has been captured under the pretence that he holds the secret—'

'So he might not?' Frank asked. 'He's being put through God knows what because You-Know-Who thinks he's the secret keeper?'

'Well he's the most obvious choice laddie!' snapped Moody. 'Dumb fool thought he could hide from You-Know-Who. I warned 'em!'

'He's doing rather well though.' Albus said, trying to lighten the mood. 'It's been over two weeks and the Potters are still alive. He would rather die then betray them.'

'What about his son? His son with that Taten girl? Would he choose the Potters over his own son?'

Albus cleared his throat. 'I was told that ... I was told by someone that Sirius does not know yet. But if, _when_ he finds out it is a choice that will break him. A choice that not even he will know which route he needs to follow, he _wants_ to follow.'

A choice between his family and his friends? But to Sirius his friends were his family. James Potter was his brother, since they were eleven. Lily was a younger sister since her and James grew closer and Harry ... the one whom the prophecy was about? Well Harry was the closest thing to a son Sirius had ever experienced. No one could call the choice, not even a full seer. Because it would be a choice based on what Black was feeling at the time – he was impulsive and rash and reckless. It would be the first names that sprung from his mouth to be the ones saved.

'How do we know that he's still alive?'

'Well the secret is still intact. The Potters are safe. Just like Frank stands here with us today, and so Alice and Neville are safe.'

'Where are Taten and her son?' asked _Gideon_? No one could be sure – they were twins through and through.

'No one shall know but Remus, not even me. They are safe though, correct?'

Remus nodded, ducking from the gazes of everyone. He had always been such a shy thing.

'On another note however, return to work Remus. Moody will send some Aurors with you to collect all your belongings from your home and then you'll have to return to work as soon as possible. Ever since you became Head of Department, we have tracked and traced over a dozen Death Eaters. You have done a fine job, and I am sure you will continue to.'

Remus nodded softly, looking down at his hands. He looked like he had a lot on his mind. He probably did. How else could someone deal with losing the best friends they had? Peter was gone – like a coward; though Albus suspected Sirius had something to do with that. James was in hiding with his son and wife, and Sirius had been captured by the darkest wizard to have ever walked the earth. No wonder the young man was looking a little worse for wear.

'On a much ... brighter note...'

Should he do it? Should he say the words that would send all of them spiralling to their downfall? Was Dumbledore a coward for wanting to keep them all safe? He didn't want to be the reason they died. Was he a coward for wanting to flee?

He hesitated but plastered on a smile. Large and wide and ridden with lies.

'On a brighter note, we will be joining the Aurors on a mission to try and save Sirius Black. I was deliberating whether or not we should involve ourselves on this Ministry mission but Crouch asked me himself. Moody, would you care to explain?'

He couldn't say any more, or else the guilt would bubble to the surface. Some of these people around him were going to die. That much Albus Dumbledore was sure of.

Moody straightened up; he had bags under his eyes and a scowl. 'Right, listen once 'cos I'm only saying the plan once, even you two clown boys—' he snapped, pointing at Gideon and Fabian who were pinching each other under the table. They reminded Moody so much of Sirius and James.

'We've had Carrow and a few other pretty damn significant Death Eaters captured from the Diagon Alley Battle. We've tortured them and forced them to tell us the truth, and now we definitely know the original plans were to hide Black in the Malfoy Manor, though we already suspected this. We need a Death Eater to lead us there, because charms have been put up to keep anyone who is _not _a Death Eater away but Vance is extremely adept at breaking these sorts of charms; we'll try our hardest first. We're going to do this in two, maybe three weeks. Me and Albus believe the quicker it's done, the better it will go. Now...'

Albus needed to talk to Snape. He'd summon the man tomorrow morning and tell him of the plan. Then he would make Snape tell Voldemort. The Death Eaters would outnumber them, it would be a massacre. Order members would die, Aurors would die and even some Death Eaters would die. But only one side would rise about the others.

Only one side would rule. And it would be Voldemort's side. And only then could they win. When Voldemort was at his highest, only then they would win this war. This Dark War.

_xo_

James kissed Harry tenderly on the cheek when he came past. His son was now walking! Well, wobbling. But it was really the same thing. Harry was a show off, and pranced around the room in his new shoes and clapping whilst he walked. And James had done it, he had taught Harry how to walk in a week. Lily owed him. She said she'd give him a massage (her massages were pretty fucking brilliant) but James said he'd rather her massage him naked, alone in their room with a few Silencing Charms. So far it was one of the best days spent here in Godric's Hollow. Right now though she was indulging herself in a long bath.

He could hear crying and he looked up expectantly. Rose had been pretty boring since she had come, instead staying in her room alone. She only came down for food, or to have James help her change SJ (a nice nickname they had given him) or sometimes to listen to the WWN. He felt guilty each time he saw her. Rose came into the room carrying Sirius James, but it wasn't the crying baby that captured his attention. It was what Rose was wearing. She looked very pretty in a dark green dress, and draped over her shoulders was a coat.

Her makeup was done perfectly, and her hair was drawn into an enormous bun in the centre of her head. James's eyes darted to her face. 'What are you doing?' he asked when she smiled at him.

'It doesn't matter,' she said. Sitting down, Rose put her son in the cradle nearby and slipped some stilettos on her feet. James suddenly realised what she was doing. He jumped up.

'Rose, what are you doing?' he asked urgently more, stepping forward. She looked up with her plain but pretty eyes framed with light lashes.

'What does it look like Mr I-Got-Fifty-Outstandings-In-My-NEWTs?' When she looked down a few tresses exploded from the bun and fell down to cradle her face. James fell to his knees in front of her and rather angrily lifted her chin to look at him.

'Where are you going Rose?'

She clucked furiously when she finally put the second stiletto on. 'Emanuelle's been sending me letters, we've been talking you see. And she wanted to go out with me since we haven't seen each other in almost ten months. She wants to go clubbing you know. And I haven't been out in ages. But I reckoned because now I'm thin again with the added bonus of enormous tits, I can go and enjoy myself...'

James couldn't believe the words exiting her mouth. Was she actually joking? Was she taking the piss? She couldn't go out whenever she wanted, especially to clubs. James growled as he shook his head, and the grasp on her chin tightened. 'You are _fucking_ joking aren't you? You must be! What the fuck are you on? I'm not letting you go out to a fucking public club! Where Death Eaters could find you, where you'll give up my son and my wife and _your son_, my own nephew!'

He tilted her chin back to see if her eyes were red and if she had been smoking weed like she did whenever things got too much. He smelt her breath but she wasn't high on weed. She was actually serious.

Rose gritted her teeth and pulled her chin out of James's grasp. 'It's a Muggle club you fool! I want to get laid, I want to have fun, I'm not staying here for another fucking moment! With your awful wife who hates me, despises me! I want to go out and have fun.'

'You're in love with Sirius, why the hell d'you need to get laid? Stop acting like a horny tart.'

Rose scoffed. 'Of course I'm horny. The last time I had sex was early March. And just because I'm in love with him, doesn't mean I'll stay whole and intact for him if he ever comes back. He'd want me to be human and to live life, he wouldn't want me to wait for him. That's not what love's about. You might be like that, but I'm not.'

James was so close to screaming at her. 'Get upstairs and change, you're not going out.'

'I'm going out with Emanuelle, James. Not some stripper I met on the corner last night. If it makes you feel better, I'll send you a patronus when I'm there and when I'm on my way. And I'll wear your Invisibility Cloak, I've got it in my bag.'

He started shaking his head but she was already hurrying out of the room during his thoughtful deliberation of whether or not to allow her. James tried to chase her but she was already out of the door and fluttering out of sight thanks to the stolen Invisibility Cloak. He took one look around the front garden, slammed the door and screamed as loud as he could. She was so f_ucking dead_.

_xo _

Sirius flicked his hair out of his eyes. The sun was blazing in the cold and foggy grey skies, and he could only just see some of it from the window. He was shivering. He hadn't been wearing a shirt for two weeks. When he asked, Bellatrix slapped him. A bit unfortunate really. Sirius also didn't like how much weight he was losing. It had only been two weeks, but he felt thinner. His muscles felt smaller and softer. His courage felt tiny.

He heard something coming up the stairs. But it didn't sound like hard footsteps. Sirius didn't even know what it sounded like. Then he could hear Narcissa's voice.

'Call me when you need to come down,' her soft and quiet voice said.

Sirius looked up expectantly. But when he saw Malfoy rolling towards him in an expensive black wheelchair, he lost all sense of sadness and burst out into the first true laugh he had been indulged in since his capture.

He laughed so hard tears fell down his face and his body slumped in the shackles, which as if reminding him, tightened.

Usually, Malfoy would have cursed Sirius or said something vicious. But he stood there, s_at_ there patiently whilst Sirius tried to calm himself. It worked. He breathed in and out and then arrogantly looked up.

'Good evening Malfoy,' Sirius said. Now the laughter had faded, he suddenly remembered why he had paralysed Malfoy. The bastard had killed his brother.

'R.A.B.' Malfoy said simply. He looked very sad and sombre. His white blond hair was slicked back, and his cold dark grey eyes were boring into Sirius's own. He also looked skinner, and he had purple bags under those cold eyes.

'How does it feel, Sirius, to know I was the last person your coward brother ever saw?'

The electricity cackling off of Sirius would have made anyone run in the other direction but Malfoy was used to it. His master was the Dark Lord after all. Mercy was never shown.

'It feels rather horrible, I'm quite jealous.' Sirius's face didn't match the words he said. His voice was calm and never faltered, but his face was an unintelligible mixture of poorly concealed pain and raw anger. It was a frightening combination.

'You're jealous. I wouldn't be if I was in your shoes. The fool was begging, blubbering, pleading for me to not do it. He brought shame upon the Black name. I didn't think your lot begged. '

Sirius shook his head, swallowing hard and shaking his head again. 'No, _no_, Regulus never begs. No.'

But the look that flickered, like a lamp switch, over Malfoy's face suggested wrong.

'Oh, I beg to differ. He did beg. He begged hard, on his knees. Grovelling, snivelling. I almost felt sorry for his pride, "since when do Blacks ever beg?" was what I thought. I kicked him when he started tugging at the ends of my robes. I wish you heard him, he was whimpering like a wounded animal. And I hadn't even started yet.'

This was worse than the Cruciatus Curse in some ways, because Sirius could _imagine_ his dear brother being humiliated and hurt. And it made the anger inside him roar like a lion. This time, harder and more determined, Sirius shook his head frantically, trying to lunge forward and failing to because of the shackles and chains keeping him away from Malfoy.

'Shall I start from the beginning?'

'No, _no_,' begged Sirius, his voice breaking. It was all his fault – everything that happened to Regulus was his fault. If he had been a better brother, if he had cared more and been there for his brother then none of this would have happened. If Sirius had offered Regulus support and someone to lean on whenever he was in need of help then he would be here today.

'You sound just like him,' Malfoy hissed, an enormous smirk on his face and his eyes lighter than when he had come in. 'Like a fool, like how I remember Peter was when me and Bella would get information out of him. Fat traitor would blubber and scream before he gave his own friends up.'

Sirius bit his tongue to stop from screaming in anger but it didn't work. All he got was a bloody tongue and a hoarse throat after he bellowed, 'SHUT UP MALFOY! SHUT UP!'

'Make me shut up. You find it funny that I'm in a chair? I find it funny that your filthy traitorous body is chained to _my_ attic wall. I can see his initials. How does it feel? Knowing that I killed him? Knowing that I enjoyed every moment of it...'

Sirius started chanting in his head to stop from exploding. Never had he wanted to kill someone so much. And yet here was Malfoy. Aggravating him and taunting him. He could see the sneer forming on his face.

'For you Sirius, how does it feel to kill someone? Do you feel good? Bad? Guilty or overjoyed?'

Sirius slumped against the wall, but the chains still propped him up. His knees were inches from the floor and his torso was groaning and screaming in protest. His arms were still chained above his head and he was so close to crying.

This was worse than anything Voldemort subjected him too. Pain faded, pain would go. But this would stay in his mind forever. He would never forget what he had done to his brother. They had been the best of friends before Hogwarts.

But the Marauders changed everything. If Sirius had one regret, one big regret, it would be the lack of love and adoration he showed his brother. Not being there for Regulus, neglecting him and inevitably _losing _him. Forever he would be sorry.

_I'm so sorry Regulus. I'm sorry for not being there, I'm sorry for choosing James over you. I'm sorry for never making the time to be with you. I'm so sorry, and I love you so so much. _

'Don't cry, you're a big boy. You're a big bad Black. Now, if you agree to lift the spell off of me, I'll save you from this endless torture. But if you don't, I'll give you graphic and descriptive account of what I did to your precious little brother. I might even show you...'

Sirius considered it, he actually considered it. But he deserved this. He wasn't going to lift the spell on Malfoy so his mind would be at rest. He deserved every moment of this, it was his entire fault. He had no one to blame but Voldemort, Malfoy and himself. So he'd take it like a man.

Biting his lip and shaking his head, Sirius whispered, 'No.'

Malfoy's face contorted with anger and pain. He gritted his teeth and rolled his chair so he was bare inches from Sirius's face. 'I found him,' his voice was louder than before. Colder. Braver. 'I found him hiding in some Muggle hovel; he was waiting for some money to come through from your Mother. Little did your brother know that the Dark Mark branded into his forearm can help track Death Eaters. Lord Voldemort ordered me to go deal with him. After all I am the ... better wizard.'

It was so easy to close your eyes, it happened a dozen or so times a minute for only the briefest of moments. But it was impossible to block your ears, or else Sirius would have done so. If he could use his hands, he would have shoved his fingers in his ear holes. If he had a wand he would have cast a Silencing Charm. In fact if he had a wand, he would have killed Malfoy and escaped out of the window.

But he didn't have a wand, and he couldn't block his ears. The words stabbed him sharper than a knife would, and cut him open deep.

'I asked him what he thought he was doing, but he didn't answer any of my questions. Or at least, I couldn't understand any of the answers. He was sobbing you see...' Malfoy took a pause to create dramatic effect.

The scene flickered before Sirius's eyes. He could imagine it. And Malfoy carried on retelling the story, strengthening the images that flickered through Sirius's mind:

_x _

'Please Malfoy, I'm begging you,' sobbed Regulus, on the floor in his bath of robes all too big. His face was startlingly white against the black robes, and he looked so much like his brother.

Malfoy lunged out, kicking Regulus again. The young boy, barely nineteen, started crying hard and choked sobs. He grabbed the ends of Malfoy's robes and started kissing them and touching his forehead to the floor the way someone does when they pray.

Malfoy laughed hard, chuckling when he kicked the young boy yet again who fell back, his wand rolling out of his hands. Regulus looked towards it, over a metre away and lunged. But Malfoy was quick, and the Cruciatus Curse had been dancing on his tongue for the best part of five minutes.

'_CRUCIO!_' he bellowed, and the boy fell flat on his back and started shrieking. It was a loud and resonating shriek and it hurt Malfoy's ears. He withdrew the curse, and the shriek stopped but Regulus Black was still panting on the floor with tears rolling down his eyes.

'Where were you just about to go before I came? Why did you need twenty thousand galleons from your Mother? Why have you betrayed us?' Malfoy's voice was soft as silk, and as quiet as an ant's footsteps.

'I'm not going anywhere,' panted the young wizard.

Malfoy dramatically sighed, his shoulders slumping and his eyes rolling. 'Wrong answer, C_rucio!_'

The shrieks were louder this time, and higher. Malfoy started laughing whilst the young boy writhed and thrashed on the floor in unimaginable pain. After a minute more of the screaming and pleading, Malfoy released the spell.

Now his voice was dark and tired and impatient and cold. He should care about killing his cousin-in-law but surprisingly, he didn't give a rat's arse. 'I'll ask you once more Regulus, one more time. Where were you going?'

The boy's lip trembled. Trembled terribly. 'I-I w-was go-going—'

'_Avada Kedavra!_' Malfoy whispered dangerously. And the very beautiful boy sagged on the floor, his gorgeous blue eyes still wet with tears and his mouth slightly open. Malfoy sighed, vanished the body and disapparated with a loud click.

_o _

Sirius's body was trembling. He didn't believe a word of it. If possible, Regulus was as haughty and arrogant as Sirius! He would never beg, nor would he shriek like a girl, nor would he kiss the hems of Malfoy's robes. The man's family were lower down than the Blacks. If anything, Malfoy should have been kissing Regulus's robes.

But it still hurt. It still hurt so much because he didn't know the truth, and the pain his brother must have gone through made Sirius's body ache and shiver. He could imagine it. He could imagine the scene and Sirius had never felt so bloodthirsty.

Malfoy was still pretty close to him, and before either of them knew it, Sirius lunged forward so hard he felt his arms quite literally break. But it was all he needed. He head butted Lucius Malfoy with such force the man fell out of his wheelchair, crying out in pain.

Sirius looked like a rabid animal, his dirty matted hair fell in his eyes and he was growling and shrieking, his own noises drowning out Malfoy's. He was still trying to lunge forward when Narcissa and Bellatrix and Snape and a few others burst into the room.

The chains were clicking loudly and Sirius felt the walls give way just a little. His arms felt dead but it didn't stop the rest of his body from trying to reach Malfoy's. The first chain came undone from the wall and Sirius's arm snapped forward suddenly, the chain swinging forward and connecting with Antonin Dolohov's head. Dolohov fell to the ground, clearly unconscious.

The other one wasn't coming undone but Sirius continued bellowing and growling and snarling and roaring. And when he threw his body forward, just like how the first chain had come undone from the wall, he felt it give up entirely.

He was free.

He was free and it felt so good. But the reason for his determination of coming free was already being dragged out of the room by Narcissa. Sirius's wild and feral eyes flickered over to Malfoy's who had a satisfied grin on his face just before he slid out of view. Almost as if in slow motion, he looked at Bellatrix's incredibly frightened face and Snape's completely shocked one. But before he could look at the next Death Eater standing beside Snape, everything turned black.

It was nearing midnight, and Sirius had been stunned for most of the day. When he woke up, he was chained to the walls but this time the manacles were much thicker and a lot shorter. His legs were also chained together, but rather loosely so he could still stand up. His arms were aching, aside from every other inch of his body. His head also hurt from where he had head butted Malfoy.

Sirius felt eyes on his body and looked up to see Voldemort staring at him with a fascinated expression. The man was sitting close to him, maybe a metre away with his head propped up by a hand under his chin. His yew wand sat comfortably on his knee and his dark hair was concealed by the hood he was wearing, though a little bit of black hair was falling into his face.

Sirius didn't even have time to feel scared. His whole body ached so much he wanted to die. He really did.

_I'm so sorry Jamie, Lils, I'm so sorry. But I've failed you. I've failed Harry. I love you guys. But I just want to die. I need to die. This hurts so badly._

'How are you feeling?' the soft voice of Lord Voldemort asked.

'My arms,' whispered Sirius, but it hurt to speak and he started coughing again. Voldemort picked up his wand and whispered a spell, and immediately Sirius felt the great pain in his arms ease. He groaned in pleasure and revelled in the small amount of peace his body finally had.

'Where else?' his tone sounded almost concerned.

'My ribs, my head, my legs, my _throat_ ...' Sirius couldn't go on, because the same damn throat was restricting him. But he watched in amazement as Voldemort whispered spell after spell and the pain in all those parts of his body eased and faded. Sirius felt better then he had since his capture.

His throat didn't grate when he spoke. 'Why are you doing this?'

Voldemort cleared his throat. 'Apart from showing you how kind I can be and how much I care for each of my followers, I ... I have now just realised how much we are alike.'

Sirius sluggishly shook his head. 'We're not, we're not,' he was so tired and so hungry.

Voldemort smiled and stood up, tapping the manacles so they tightened a little bit more. 'We are not two, Sirius Black, but we are one. One of the same. Goodnight.'

And the lights extinguished, and the window closed, and Sirius fell asleep.

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><p><em>AN: I managed to squeeze this out and I tried to pack it with action so I hope you've liked it!_

_Firstly, I've already mentioned how the whole Regulus story in this fanfic is slightly AU. How Voldemort spread word that he ordered Regulus to be killed etc. The little scene where Sirius is imagining Malfoy torturing and killing Regulus isn't what really happened, we all know that Regulus was dragged down by the Inferi. But Malfoy's making it up to try and cause Sirius pain and so he tells a bunch of lies that aren't true at all but Sirius thinks are true. _

_On another note, I've also brought back Fabian and Gideon. I know they died but I wanted them alive for this story and so the whole reason for their absence was because of a mission they had to do in Germany. This story is AU so there are things popping up that never actually happened. Like how I've made Trelawney predict true things more than once every decade._

_Thanks for reading & I hope this hasn't confused you. It confused me a little if I'm honest._

_P.S. Please review, this is one of my longest chapters :')_


	17. Linking the Clues

_Disclaimer; I don't own anything other than the plot and the OCs - all else belongs to the amazing J.K Rowling! :)_

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><p><em>xoxo <em>

_17. Linking the Clues_

James was biting his knuckles angrily whereas Lily was ranting, screaming and running around the house, collecting belongings to stuff in a bag. Just for when the Death Eaters came. They weren't going to wait for Rose to drunkenly stumble into the house with half a dozen Death Eaters in tow. The stupid bitch! How dumb could she be? How _selfish _could she be?

She had gone off to meet Danté, without a care in the world. And she'd left her son, but if James was honest he loved his little nephew and didn't mind one bit. The boy was so adorable, and startlingly beautiful. James could stare at him for hours ... but he wasn't a pervert and he didn't have the patience to sit somewhere for more than half an hour. This was actually one of the main reasons he and the Marauders had gotten in so much trouble during Hogwarts. They were restless with a pinch of agitation.

Only one lynx patronus had come in with a cheery voice, saying that she was safe with Emanuelle and having a "fucking blast". If possible, James grew even angrier. And when Lily came out of the bathroom to be confronted by James about what had just happened an hour ago ... she had quite literally screamed and kicked and shouted.

After a few more minutes of biting down hard on his knuckles, SJ started crying. James looked down at him and very slowly he lifted the boy up. 'What's the matter baby?' he asked, rocking him gently back and forward. Looking down at the large grey eyes, he could see no tears. All he could hear was the hollering of the quiet and high-pitched voice.

James looked up when he heard Lily's frenzied footsteps thundering down the stairs. '_I'm going to kill her! I'm going to kill that BITCH!'_ she screamed, barging into the room with a magically reduced suitcase and an even smaller bag. Harry was toddling behind her and she impatiently shooed him from her.

'Let's go James, let's take Sirius's son and get the hell out of here!'

Lily was a smart witch; she received just as many outstandings in her OWLs and NEWTs as James and was extremely rational. But whenever Harry was concerned, and to an extent even James, she grew frantic, frenzied and hysterical. And right now she looked close to bawling her eyes out.

'We can't Lily we can't. We're in as much danger out there as in here. Let's wait till she returns, _if _she returns—' Lily opened her mouth to disagree but James stood up with the small baby in one arm and his other hand caressing her face before touching her lips. 'She's stupid,' he whispered. 'She's dumb and stupid and_ so selfish_ but we have to wait. We can't go thundering into the world when we're not ready. Let's wait.'

Lily bit her lip but kissed James back when he pressed his warm and soft lips against hers. 'Till twelve James, I'll give her till twelve. In the meantime, I need to see if there's any of Rose's breast milk in the fridge for the baby, he's starving.'

Lily's body slumped as she trudged out of the room, but not before James heard her sob softly. He frowned but sat back down, cradling his nephew and pecking his forehead. 'It's okay,' he kept cooing. 'It's going to be alright,' he would chant.

Only James wasn't sure if he even believed it himself. When Harry toddled over to him and grabbed a hold of his leg, screeching 'Dog!' James laughed half heartedly. His son always did know how to cheer him up.

_xo _

The plan was set. On the twenty seventh of December they were going to attack the Malfoy Manor. They would use Carrows to get them there, who hadn't responded well at all to the torture curses used on him. Only someone with the Dark Mark could bring them to the Manor and past the barriers. At first, when asked nicely, Amycus Carrow declined rather rudely, spitting at the Head of Interrogation's feet. Half a dozen Cruciatus Curses and _he_ was begging to tell _them _where the Malfoy Manor was. Funny what pain could do to someone. It could take them totally out of their persona and make them the antithesis of who they really truly were.

Moody was anxious for Black. If Carrow had screamed that much at a mere wizard torturing him then Moody couldn't even imagine the pain Sirius Black must be going through after being tortured by the Dark Lord.

They had been here in Kingsley's for hours, splitting into groups to make a plan which Remus was writing down. Of course the plan had to be written so it could be approved by Crouch, but the man was so far up Dumbledore's arse he would approve anything Dumbledore liked.

Moody laughed a little. He was beginning to sound like Black. And Moody wasn't sure whether that was a good thing or not. He coughed a little when Dumbledore asked him a question.

'Sorry Albus ... wasn't listening,' he said.

Dumbledore almost smiled. 'I said is it better to split up into groups and attack the Death Eaters, or to advance as one?'

'Definitely better to split into groups. There will be about twenty to thirty Death Eaters there at the time when we attack and we'll have twenty of the most talented Aurors and fifteen of us Order members. It'll mostly be a fair fight.'

A small unreadable glint flickered in Dumbledore's eyes that Moody couldn't read but he had given up years ago when he first met the man to try and figure out how his brain worked. It was too great and intricate to even begin comprehending.

'Yes, yes that should be enough. We'll have twenty five of us battling the Death Eaters outside and ten inside to try and get Sirius. It'll be a close and dangerous fight but it's necessary.'

'Are we doing this when Voldemort isn't there? Because he's been staying at the Malfoy Manor ever since Pad-Sirius was taken there.' Remus had looked up, with his brownish blond hair falling into his pretty eyes. Not that anyone had said he had pretty golden brown eyes (apart from his parents, and the Marauders and Lily and dozens of others) but they were rather feminine looking.

'We're doing this Remus regardless of if Voldemort is there or not. We need to do this as quickly as possible; I think it would be better to do this sooner. But we can't. That is something Bodewell will not agree on.'

Moody barked and growled when he heard that name. 'If the bastard doesn't die soon, I'll kill him myself.'

Almost as if they apparated, Fabian and Gideon appeared on both sides of Moody. They looked down at him and grinned as they propped their elbows on his shoulders. They were quite tall, with blondish red hair and identical faces. Their ice blue eyes were vivid on their freckled faces. And they always had ready grins on their faces. It had been sad when they disappeared for two months to Germany, leaving the Marauders to create all the fun in Order meetings.

'We'd like to help in assassinating Bodewell, Moody-boy, when can we start?'

They were perhaps the most annoying pair of boys Moody knew. And he knew a lot of annoying boys. He growled at them and shook his shoulders to get their bony elbows off him.

'What have I said?' Moody barked, poking Gideon first in the chest and then Fabian. The boys winced. 'If you ever call me that again, I'll hex your bollocks off!'

Both boys burst out into loud and shrieking laughter, tears falling down their eyes. Even Remus and Frank and a few others laughed. Kingsley interfered before Moody actually _did _hex their bollocks off. He sent back the Prewett twins to their table.

'Bloody idiots,' muttered Moody under his breath. Dumbledore chuckled. He was surprised he could laugh; the dread inside him was spreading and grasping his body. He could hardly even breathe properly.

He had to tell Severus of the plans in over two weeks. Two days after Christmas. And then Albus would order Severus to tell Voldemort of the plans. More Death Eaters would be brought over on the day, and the Aurors and Order members would be massacred. Oh, the Aurors _were _extremely adept and the Order members _were_ skilled. Almost half of Voldemort's followers simply pledged themselves to their Dark Lord because they were in dire need of protection. They couldn't fight at all. But the battle would end with Albus's capture and he had to accept that, in fact he welcomed it. In the meantime however, he needed to find out more about Regulus and the whole underground cave business. Tomorrow he would be visiting Walburga Black, once again leaving McGonagall to manage the children at Hogwarts all alone.

'Now, Lupin, read me everything you've got, and pray I don't take my anger out of you because of those half-arsed nitwits behind me,' barked Moody irritably.

Remus gulped.

_xo _

When Albus was up the next morning, he attended breakfast in the enormous great hall. It was bustling with activity and to his left sat Horace Slughorn, who was conversing enthusiastically with Filius Flitwick. Minerva sat on Albus's right, and she was picking at her breakfast with a disgruntled expression on her face.

'Minerva?'

'I don't like your plan Albus,' she snapped, looking up at him with demanding and irritated eyes.

Albus set down his knife and fork, picking up his glass of juice. 'What is wrong with the plan?'

'It will end in a massacre for both sides! Surely there's another way to get Black safely home?' Ah, she was a smart witch. She was an incredibly smart witch and that sometimes intimidated Albus. He felt like he was tiptoeing on eggshells around her.

'Minerva, my dear friend, the plan will work. We have almost three dozen against Voldemort and his Death Eaters. We will win, or at least, we will leave with Sirius. Have faith.'

She shook her head. 'He has more than we think, You-Know-Who. You don't know whether or not he's got dozens of them at his disposal.'

Albus cleared his throat, looking around the half empty hall and feeling satisfied enough to get up and leave for his little rendezvous with Walburga Black. He had sent her a letter, but received none in return. At least she had been warned.

'Where are you going Albus?' asked Minerva, putting down her napkin and standing up as well.

'In an hour or so, I have a rather important appointment.' He said. Minerva nodded, looking back down at her plate. 'With Walburga Black.' Her head snapped up.

The trip to her house was rather unpleasant. Files from Sirius and Regulus Black that still remained in one of the hundreds of filing cabinets in Hogwarts told him the House of Black was Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place in Central London. When he arrived, Albus decided he didn't like Grimmauld Place very much. The people prancing around had either frowns or scowls on their faces, and the skies were very dark and ominous. He felt out of place when they looked at him, but what did Albus expect? He was dressed in indigo robes.

When Albus stood before the space where Number Twelve should be, he could only see Thirteen and Eleven. He waited patiently. Just because he couldn't see the house, didn't mean the house couldn't see him.

After almost five minutes of patient waiting, both houses started to move. With loud resonating groans, a handsome and tall home appeared in between, pushing both houses further and further apart. It looked almost twice the size of each house, and it had an enormous oak door with a serpent knocker. Albus approached the door as he hurried up the steps.

Before he could even knock on the door it opened. An ugly and old house elf answered wearing a puffy white dress shirt and tufts of white hair coming out from his ears.

'Master Dumbledore, Mistress and Kreacher has been expecting you,' the squeaky voice said, moving aside to let him in. The house was obviously well taken care of. The hall was large and there were pictures littering the walls, most of them either Regulus, Sirius or both of them. Albus found it endearing that the pictures of Sirius hadn't been removed.

As Kreacher led Albus down the dark hall, with its stone walls and hard wooden floor, Albus looked around in fascination. There were more portraits on the walls, some of old ancestors who thankfully couldn't move or talk. But there were so spitting insults at him.

Albus came into a magnificent drawing room. There was a loud and ferocious fire crackling in its place, and a glass coffee table sitting in the centre of the room surrounded by comfortable looking sofas. Sitting on one of them was Walburga Black.

Since the last time he saw her (some five years ago) she looked as though she had aged a decade. Her glossy black hair was streaked with a little grey and her beautiful face was scattered with small wrinkles. Her eyes which had once been vibrant and radiant were now lifeless and plain. She was sad.

'Good morning Dumbledore,' she said politely, gesturing to the seat across from her. 'Please sit.' She asked in a withered and tired voice. Sitting on the glass table was a tray, with biscuits and tea cups. Walburga snapped her fingers and Kreacher hurried forward, pouring them both some tea. It was all very formal. He smiled and thanked the house elf when he was handed a cup of streaming hot tea.

'Thank you for seeing me Mrs Black. I wasn't sure if you had read my letter or not—'

'Did I need to reply? You would have come anyway.' She said abruptly and with more energy. 'Besides, I don't know what you think I can aid you with. I don't know where Sirius is, and I couldn't really care any less.'

Through the hard exterior Albus could see the regret in her words. The loss and sadness she felt for letting down her sons. Sirius had hurried away from her down the wrong path. And when the right son went down the intended route he had ended up dead. Walburga must have felt like a failure.

She was a failure.

'You don't really mean that. You still care about Sirius.'

Walburga's head snapped up and her grey eyes hardened. She was an older copy of her eldest son. Just as beautiful yet more haughty and arrogant. Sirius knew how to smile ... did she?

'Regardless of whether I care or not, he deserves what he is going to get.' Walburga replied impatiently. 'He followed the wrong path, he defied his own blood.'

'Would you rather he followed Regulus and ended up dead, barely nineteen?'

Walburga's eyes sprung with tears and her lip trembled. 'My son made one mistake, only one mistake because of his brother. And he was murdered for it. How am I supposed to still _feel _for Sirius after all he has put me through?'

Albus cleared his throat, finishing his tea and setting it down. As soon as it touched the table, Kreacher hurried forward and filled it with more streaming tea. It was dangerous for Albus to be here. He was alone in a home with a Death Eater's Mother pureblood activist. Well she wasn't really much of an activist anymore but when she was younger, Walburga had been passionate, fiery like flames. Albus remembered giving her more than one detention for the horrid rumours and words she would spew about Muggleborns and half bloods.

'Aren't you proud of him? Proud of how great your son has become?'

'I would be proud if he concentrated that greatness towards a cause I supported. Not wasting time saving the mudbloods and scheming with the traitors. I would be proud if he found the bravery to come to me with his pregnant girlfriend.'

Ah, that was why she was so bitter. Walburga was ignorant to the fact that Sirius had never known. Would Sirius have done any of this if he knew he even had his own son coming?

'Mrs Black ... Sirius never knew he had a son.'

_xo _

Once or twice Lily and James bumped into each other as they paced the living room. And with each tick of the clock, she grew more hysterical and he grew angrier. In fact James'd had enough of Harry toddling around the house. So he dropped his son in the cot and hurried down the stairs.

And then a beautiful lynx glided through the open window and her feet touched down on the carpet. Getting your patronus to speak was something Dumbledore invented for the Order. It was nifty and hard magic but Sirius had been determined to teach it to Rose. And it was such a relief she knew how to do it.

'I'm on my way,' Rose's rather sad and furious voice hissed before the lynx evaporated.

James would have expected Lily to sigh in relief, like he had. And though the hysteria faded, her face grew redder and her hands clenched harder.

'I'm gonna kill her, I'm gonna kill that bitch—'

James hurried forward, taking Lily's hands in his own and easing them open. 'Shush, she's safe. We're safe; I'll deal with her, but don't get in another fight with her—'

Lily shook her head hard, her tangle of crimson curls spilling over her face just like the tears leaking from her emerald eyes. Lily started breathing in deeper, harder, faster. Oh dear God, she was hyperventilating. James hated when she hyperventilated. He never knew what to do. And a hysterical Lily was more than enough to deal with, not an overly hysterical and slightly murderous Lily! James led her over to the sofa and sat her down. He took her small heart shaped face in his hands.

'H-how c-could sh-she do this t-to us?' sobbed Lily, burying her face in James's neck. 'I've n-never been s-so scared...'

Lifting her chin, he tentatively put his finger to her lips and told her to breathe in and out calmly. Lily obeyed but her eyes continued streaming and her face, if possible, grew redder; almost the colour of her long hair.

There was a knock on the door and James released Lily a bit too hard and fast, almost tripping over some of Harry's toys to get to the door. He wrenched it open, didn't even greet Rose but instead dragged her by her arm into the house roughly, his fingers bruising her skin.

As soon as she was in he pushed her against the wall aggressively and grit his teeth to stop from screaming at her. His other hand snaked over her two wrists and kept them down. Fuck it, he was going to scream at her.

'_What the fuck is wrong with you? You stupid, stupid girl! Lily's in there with all our shit packed because she was scared for our lives! And you go out clubbing, you selfish bitch! I can't believe you ... I can't _... I...' James drifted off because he was noticing her injuries. She had a bloody split lip and a graze on her cheekbone. Her left eye was also smaller and puffier than the other. Her makeup was streaked down her eyes and most of her hair had come down from the bun.

'You had another bar fight didn't you? I thought you would have learnt your lesson after that bitch pulled a knife out on you—'

But once again he was interrupted because Rose burst out into tears and started mumbling incoherently. She was hyperventilating too. And it didn't make matters any better when Lily stormed out of the living room, with a cricket bat in her hands and a determined expression.

James couldn't even understand what the hell Lily was screaming but it sounded down right frightening, and her crimson face added to the whole frightening scenario she was creating. Lily only managed to hit Rose once with the bat, and it was a near miss – but nonetheless, an enormous bruise was going to form on Rose's shoulder the next day thanks to Lily's good swinging arm.

James managed to wrap his arms around her and drag his wife kicking and screaming to the kitchen where he sat her down and made her a cup of tea, locking the door. Even though he'd been in the kitchen for about fifteen minutes with Lily trying to calm her down, when he finally came back out to deal with Rose, she was still in the same position near the door against the wall, frozen and with a horrified expression on her face.

A little more forcefully than James intended, he led Rose to the living room where her son was asleep in his crib. 'You need to feed him, poor bastard's been starving all day,' James said, getting his wand from the shelves on top of the fireplace and conjuring some bandages and dittany.

Rose was still in shock from the whole fight with Lily _and _James. Her eyes were wide and she was crying freely. James felt so bad for her, and so he healed her wounds with tenderness he only over showed his family.

He lifted Rose's chin so he could wipe the dried blood on her neck when she started talking quietly.

'It was horrible,' she whispered in a voice too mature for her, for someone so immature.

'What was horrible?' James sighed dramatically, expecting a tale that would favour her when in all probability she was the reason a fight had broken out in the first place.

'This man, he looked a bit like Sirius ... I was stupid, I flirted with him, I thought he liked me ... he kissed me, but then when we found a room he was so _aggressive_ ... but not like Sirius whenever we're together, this man hurt me and he didn't stop ... _hurting_ me until he was finished. And then his girlfriend came ... she beat the _fuck _out of me.'

James had stopped tending to her wounds because he couldn't quite understand what she was saying. 'You actually _slept _with someone?' he asked incredulously with a glint of anger flickering in his eyes.

She nodded, sniffing and bowing her head. An avalanche of golden hair exploded from the bun and fell down into her face. James pushed it away so he could see her expression. For a second time today, he was shocked. So totally utterly shocked he couldn't even form understandable words in his mind. He stared at Rose's face for minutes, trying to find a way to express just how much he was angry with her. James couldn't believe it, she had actually slept with someone. The thought made him nauseous. What kind of Mother was she? What kind of girlfriend was she?

He peered up at her from under the veil of golden hair. 'I-I'm saying this from the bottom of my heart Rose Taten ... I _really _think I hate you.'

James straightened up, throwing the bloodied cloth on the table and handing her some dittany to sort herself out. Then he left the room with an amazed and confused expression on his face. She was horrid she was.

_xo _

Walburga Black laughed, shaking her head. 'Of course he knew, he just didn't tell anyone because he was embarrassed. Anyone would be. An illegitimate child with a wild, irresponsible girl, oh it's a scandal! Though now I come to think of it, they fit perfectly together.'

Albus leant forward, his cup of tea perched on his knee. He shook his head. 'Do you really think Mrs Black, that Sirius would have done any of this if he knew he had a son?'

The smile on her face faded as the reality of his words sunk in. She started shaking her head with a dazed frown. Then anger sunk into her expression and she shook her head again. 'Sirius must have known...'

'Miss Taten never told him, she left him. Your son was as oblivious as we were to the fact he had a son. The only difference is he _still _doesn't know. Imagine all the things he would have done differently if he knew?' Albus kept his voice gentle. Walburga must have been feeling resentment and anger at not being told she had a grandchild. She probably felt hatred as well towards Taten.

'I was so scared you know that the Black family would die out because we have no heirs left. But this boy ... he can fix everything.'

Albus almost rolled his eyes at her obsession with continuing the Black family line. It was an old and ancient and powerful line, but perhaps it would be for the best if it did die out? Sirius was rare amongst Blacks, very rare indeed. Maybe this boy would be rare too? If the Black Insanity dodged him. An unlikely feat. It didn't dodge Sirius.

'In the meantime Mrs Black, we need to beat Lord Voldemort in this war—'

Walburga looked up, like a cat spotting a mouse. 'Why? Why do we need to defeat the Dark Lord? He is what we need. He is what society and Britain needs. The Blacks are one of the oldest, most powerful pureblood families in Britain. We understand the Dark Lord more than any other person. And though I hate the Dark Lord for what he has done to my Regulus, I support and sympathise with his cause. Nothing will change that.'

'He's killed one of your sons and now he has another. Don't tell me you still support him after that.'

Walburga looked torn between two answers. The one she truly felt. Or the one that was expected of her. She seemed to settle with the truth. 'Sirius had always been my most promising son. From the day he showed magical signs at the tender age of six, to when he could fly a broom at nine without any help. But he has always been my _biggest_ disappointment. If I could turn back time I would. I'd stop him from becoming friends with Potter, I'd stop him from being placed in Gryffindor; I'd do everything differently.'

Albus leaned back, immersed in what she would say about her most promising son.

'Regulus had followed in his father's footsteps. He wasn't exactly a leader, but more like a soldier, who, when given the right commands could be extraordinary, who _was _extraordinary. I knew too that he had great things destined for him. And when Sirius was swayed off course by that wretched Potter boy I gave up on him. Now look where he is, locked up God knows where with the Dark Lord torturing him.'

'That doesn't mean you don't love him Mrs Black,' Dumbledore said gravely, peering at her through his spectacles.

'I do love him still, yes. But I've given up on him. To me, my family is dead. My husband and my youngest son are dead. My family is dead.'

The words she said really did bring tears to Albus's piercing blue eyes. Only now was he really beginning to _understand _what Sirius had said during a meeting back at the start of sixth year. Sirius had just run away during the holidays and Albus told him it was the law to return home to his legal guardians until he was seventeen. At the time Albus had believed what Sirius said but he hadn't understood. Now though, _now_ he understood.

Albus now truly understood what the young man had said about hatred and distrust and disgust and loathing; all emotions and feelings associated with him at home. Sirius had even said sometimes when guests were over his parents would lock him up to make sure he didn't embarrass the family, which he tried hard to do.

Albus sighed, folding and unfolding his arms. 'What if he were to return back here, with his son? Would you welcome him or slam the door in his face?'

Walburga folded her hands and sat them on her lap. 'I think ... I think I would let him in. The inheritance Alphard left him is probably almost finished, and petty galleons are not enough to raise a Black child. I think I would give him back his inheritance, after all my life will be over in a decade or so. I have nothing to live for. Except my grandson.'

When Sirius came out (Albus was sure he would escape) perhaps it wouldn't be too late for him to start things over with his Mother. Albus smiled and nodded. 'Then all will be well.'

'Not forgotten,' Walburga said with a ghost of a smile on her face. 'All will be well but not forgotten.'

Albus sipped his tea and set it down on the table. Once again, Kreacher (who was standing patiently at the back of the room) hurried forward and for a third time filled it to the brim with streaming hot tea. Albus thanked him and looked back at Walburga.

'Now for the real reason I came—'

'I don't know where Regulus is.' Walburga said shortly, setting her cup down. Both Kreacher and Albus looked up at her quickly; shocked. 'I'd know my son's body anywhere, and that was not his body. I do not know what they have done to it, but that was not Regulus's body. They think they can fool me? A Mother? His Mother?' She laughed shortly and coldly.

Albus sat forward once again, leaning his clenched hands on his knee. 'And you didn't say anything?' asked Albus.

'Sometimes I have learnt it is best to not question things. Whether I had seen his body or not he would still be dead either way. Sometimes I feel better at not having seen his body, and sometimes I wish I did.'

Was Walburga that much of a good actress? Sirius and Regulus certainly followed in her footsteps for that category then. 'Do you know how he died?'

'He tried to copy Sirius; he tried to leave the Dark Lord. Thus he was killed. Another reason why I despise my eldest son.' She snapped the last sentence with a forlorn expression in her face. 'Reggie was so young,' she whispered. 'He was a month into nineteen, he was _so young._'

Though her dazzling grey eyes filled with tears they did not betray her and fall. Blacks didn't cry. They were too noble, too proud.

Albus cleared his throat and looked at her. 'I could help find Regulus's body. All I need is to know where he died. I found traces of where he was "murdered" but I can't be sure if it really is him.'

Walburga looked up with an amazed expression in her eyes. Her bottom lip trembled and she inched closer to Albus from opposite him. 'You can find him?' she breathed, the tears in her eyes evaporating.

Albus nodded. 'All I need is powerful, _powerful_ Tracing Charms and Detection Spells. It takes days to complete but it led me to this cave near a seaside.'

'Why would they hide his body and show a different one?' whispered Walburga, the brilliant and smart clogs in her brain working frantically to try and piece together the puzzle. She touched her temple, thinking hard.

'Your guess is as good as mine...' Albus murmured gravely. So he hadn't exactly found out more about Regulus and his supposed murder, but he had found out a lot about Sirius and Walburga. And he would be sure to store all of the gathered information in one of the filing cabinets deep in his mind. Each piece of information Albus gathered always proved to be useful in the future.

Albus stood up, brushing his robes and straightening his glasses. 'Well, thank you for your time Mrs Black. It has been, in all honestly, rather informative.' He leant forward to shake her hand.

'Come again if you need more information about my son, to help you...' She never offered things but Walburga knew when it came to her favourite son she would do anything.

'Of course, thank you. I'll see myself out.' Albus nodded to her and then Kreacher before leaving the room. The house elf followed, since it was mandatory that house elves do such things. But it was not mandatory that house elves talk to guests.

'Master Dumbledore,' croaked Kreacher, looking towards where the drawing room was hesitantly. 'Kr-Kreacher knows 'bout Master Regulus.' He hissed.

Albus's head snapped up, with shock and confusion in his eyes. 'Kreacher?'

'K-Kreacher is knowing how he died, Kreacher knows why he died and was there with him. But Kreacher can't tell you now—'

Albus swallowed and nodded, his white hair falling forward. 'Of course Kreacher of course. Perhaps tonight, when your Mistress is asleep?'

Kreacher nodded but then he scowled angrily. 'This will help Master Regulus, won't it? This will avenge him?'

'It will do that, and more,' replied Albus.

_xo _

Narcissa, if possible, was even colder to Sirius than before. Sometimes when she came into the room, she purposely poured some of his water down his front. Other times when she had to feed him (his arms were chained after all) she dropped the food on the floor where he couldn't get it. But what unnerved him the most was not Narcissa's anger and coldness, nor her childish behaviour but how she was now scared of Sirius after his little display the day before.

In fact even Bellatrix was a little. Dolohov had tried to look like he wasn't scared of Sirius, and tortured him in front of half a dozen Death Eaters but the look in his eyes betrayed how afraid he really was. Had the whole Lucius Malfoy issue really terrified the Death Eaters that much? He slumped a little, his arms aching from hanging over his head this whole time. Waltzing into the room was Bellatrix, waving at her sister who was in the process of feeding Sirius.

He hated being fed by them in front of people, and sometimes he even spat the food back out at them or spat the water everywhere. And that usually ended in him being tortured or hit. Sirius swallowed the last bite of the banana and looked up at Bellatrix.

'Hey Bella,' he said, smiling at her radiantly.

Bellatrix walked over to him, and because he was slumped, she was about his height. 'I've got a gift for you,' she said with mock happiness.

'Oh really?' Sirius asked, gasping dramatically. 'What?' He almost groaned and sighed. He hated any gift from Bellatrix, it usually involved pain.

From behind her she showed an enormous needle filled with black ink. 'I've noticed how you love tattoos and I thought that why shouldn't I give you one? Of course the Dark Lord shall have to complete it for me; I've only ever done this once ... on Pettigrew if you must know...'

Sirius's eyes widened. 'What sort of tattoo?' he asked. He had a tingly feeling in his left forearm...

'The Dark Mark.'

He screamed and shouted and tried to tug away but the chains were so strong and his arms already ached. But he couldn't get away, as hard as he tried. Narcissa hissed, 'Petrificus Totalus!' and Sirius's body slumped like a corpse in the chains. But he could still hear and see and feel everything. The chain tying his left arm was unlocked, and his arm fell down to the ground.

Bellatrix looked at him, a murderous and evil expression in her eyes. She took Sirius's arm, kissing the spot where the Dark Mark would be inked. They used venom, Basilisk Venom. It was diluted, so it wouldn't kill him, but it hurt so much. Tears sprung to his eyes and he was screaming in his mind. His body would have been convulsing and shaking had they not frozen him. It felt like she was drawing it for hours, but she did it with such precision and deliberate slowness that Sirius was begging in his mind. And when the spell was fading on his body, his scream shattered through the air. Narcissa cast another one and he started shouting in his mind again.

The pain was unbearable, and Sirius shouted out. Just like Peter's, it was vivid against his white skin. It was writhing and squirming and glaring up at him. The skull and the snake. They were glaring up at him. And when Lord Voldemort came, with a serene and calm expression on his face, and with his triumphant laugh, Sirius started crying harder.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Tell me if you liked this chapter please, because it was difficult to write. Especially hard writing as Walburga, but this is how I imagined she would be if she knew there was a way to find Regulus's body. And I'd also like to say this in preparation for the next chapter that the horcrux locket was stolen by Mundungus during the fifth or sixth book (can't remember) which means Kreacher would still have it now._

_I also know that Basilisk Venom kills but it fits pretty well with what I'm intending to happen. That's also why I said diluted Basilisk Venom, because it's deadly when it's in the original state._

_Cheers!_

_xo_


	18. Her Love in Paris

_Disclaimer; I own nothing but the characters you don't recognise, and the plot. _

_Some of the French translations - _

_- Est-elle votre amant? - She is your lover?/Is she your lover? _

_- Oui, malheureusement. - Yes, unfortunately. _

_- Elle est un travail difficile, oui? - She is hard work, yes?_

_- Elle est, mais je l'aime malgré tout. - She is, but I love her regardless. _

_If you favourited and/or alerted but haven't reviewed, could you please leave a comment on what you think? And most importantly, I'd like to thank MikoAucarod! Who has been reviewing such kind things!_

_Thanks!_

* * *

><p><em>xoxo <em>

_18. Her Love in Paris_

His eyes had glazed over with pain, unfathomable pain. Bellatrix slapped Sirius's face gently so he would open his eyes. Apparently, it took one administrations every twenty-four hours, repeated three times for the Basilisk Venom to create a Dark Mark. And this time it was Voldemort who was administering the second attempt directly onto Sirius's left forearm.

When Sirius did open his eyes (thanks to Bellatrix's wand) the beautiful grey irises were mooned over, with tears leaking out. He had given up fighting; otherwise they would put him under Petrificus Totalus. And that was worse, he couldn't scream when he was under it. He was lost in a wonderland of pain and nothing but the emptiness of his own mind.

But hadn't James always said during pain, thinking of the happiest memories. They would act as a shield and protect him from the pain, protect him from the madness raging inside of him. And so Sirius thought hard through his sobs and his screams. He thought had to remember the happiest memory he had.

_x _

No one needed to know that he had put a charm on the suitcases to make them lighter. Rose never packed lightly. And here they were, before such a magnificent hotel. It was Friday night, and though the stars were very dim and the moon was waning, it was still all so beautiful. The buildings around looked alive, like they were on fire. French accents wafted towards them like the smell of food, and it sounded incredibly sexy.

Sirius couldn't help his eyes rake over some of the beautiful women. Until Rose "accidentally" stepped on his toe and led the way into the hotel. The door was pulled open for them by an elderly and uniformed man who greeted them in French.

The lobby was extravagant. The floor was almost golden, and a polished marble. The ceiling was incredibly high with an enormous chandelier dangling from it. There were carvings on it, of angels and stars and moons and suns. Detailed statues didn't clutter the grand space, but rather complimented the lobby and soft music (was it Chopin?) floated towards them. A bellboy came towards them and took their suitcases (Sirius quickly lifted the charms off them, his wand was hidden in his sleeve). He waited patiently at the side as Sirius snaked his arm around Rose's waist and took her to one of the many desks.

'Bonjour? Ola? Hallo? Ciao? Hello?' the woman chuckled with a beam on her face and laughter in her eyes. Those eyes grew larger when she saw Sirius Black, ever the handsome heartthrob.

'Hello,' Sirius replied huskily, his eyes raking over her immaculate body. Once again Rose stood on his foot and he looked down with a grin, nudging the side of her face with his chin.

''Ow can I 'elp you?' the woman asked, batting her lashes at Sirius.

He tightened his arm around Rose's waist, sensing her jealousy and putting on a more businesslike face, but not without winking.

'We'd like to stay in the honeymoon suite. Till Monday morning.'

The woman looked at their hands, but saw that the rings were absent. She didn't ask any questions, but instead pulled out a huge folder and then turned to another register pinned on the wall behind her. 'You is _so_ lucky, we 'aff two left out of thirty two. Eet is usually so busy at Valentine's.'

He nodded absentmindedly. 'How much will that be?' he asked, pulling out his wallet. Lily had taken him to a Muggle bank to put some money in her account for him, well over two thousand pounds which they then converted into a fuck load of French francs! But all together it had only been four hundred and fifty galleons as well, quite a bargain.

'For three nights? It will be um... two thousand, one hundred francs, not including room service. But you don't 'ave to pay unteel Monday morning.' She told him, her touch on his hand lingering as she passed him a pen and some forms he needed to fill out.

When he finished (some ten minutes later) the woman started talking to him in French, almost hesitantly.

'Est-elle votre amant?' *

Sirius almost groaned aloud, dear God that accent was sexy. Lucky for him, he was pretty good at French. And Spanish. And though when he was younger he despised the lessons, he thanked the heavens his Mother had made him and Regulus learn.

'Oui, malheureusement.' * He replied, with a pretty good accent in fact. The woman looked impressed, and upon closer inspection, he learned that her name was Mathilde from the nametag on her breast. Her prominent breast.

She chuckled in a silky voice. 'Elle est un travail difficile, oui?' *

'Elle est, mais je l'aime malgré tout.' *

Mathilde smiled, and nodded and then smiled again. 'Please 'ave a good time.' She handed Sirius a key to the fourth room on the fifth floor for honeymoon suites.

The bellboy followed after them, towards the elevators. He got inside with the couple and pretended not to listen to the heated discussion going on.

'Why didn't you tell me you spoke French?' Rose asked bitterly, with her arms folded and her chin almost touching her collarbone. Her frown was so deep it looked permanently etched.

Sirius took her face with his hands, and rested his forehead on hers. 'Why, did you find it sexy?' He grinned, winking at her.

'Well ... yes I did, you should speak French more often to me. But what were you guys talking about?' Rose asked, pouting.

Sirius touched her lips with his in a quick kiss. 'How amazing you are, and how much I'm in love with you.'

Rose laughed, pulling her face from his grip. 'Liar, you were talking about how annoying I am.' She was fishing in the dark, and grinned when Sirius put on a guilty expression.

'I talked about how great in bed you are,' he said, pulling her closer to him. 'And how beautiful you are, and how you act when you're happy and sad, and drunk and angry. I told her how kind you can be, and how wild. I told her how you're the girl I someday might marry.'

The elevator pinged, and they both looked around wildly for the exit, bamboozled. The bellboy cleared his throat and gestured to his left. They followed him out but at a slower pace. The bellboy opened the door for them, put their suitcases near the threshold and bid them a good stay as he switched the lights of the room on.

The inside of the suite was incredible. The window overlooked the whole of Paris, with its tall buildings and glistening towers. A mixture of smells floated over to them. It was so beautiful. The suite opened into a large sitting area. It had a tall oak table in the corner, and a large music player. There was also a grand piano with a bucket of ice and a bottle of champagne resting on it. The floor was wooden and golden, and the walls were pale cream. To the left was a romantic bathroom, much like Sirius's back at home, with an enormous bathtub and a shower big enough for three.

The bedroom though was what interested Sirius. It had white walls and a dark wooden floor. The bed was immense with scatters of rose petals on it. And like in the sitting area there was a bucket of ice and a bottle of champagne resting on the dresser and besides it, some strawberries and chocolate. Opposite the bed was a painting of a woman and a man, entwined and with loving gazes only for each other.

'It's beautiful,' Rose moaned, throwing her mane of blonde hair back and laughing. 'It's perfect. And it cost so much.'

Sirius nodded, 'It costs a fortune. But it _is _worth it.' He sat down on the bed, brushing some of the petals off and blowing them into his girlfriend's face who laughed and batted them away. She sat down besides him, pulling off her trainers and her socks. Then she tugged off her jacket and lay back with her hair fanning behind her, meshing with the dark red petals and standing out on the ivory sheets.

'Did you mean it?'

'Mean what?' asked Sirius, copying her and taking off his jacket and shoes. He lay back with her, and though their bodies weren't touching it still felt erotic and intimate.

She turned to look at him, with crimson cheeks and a shy smile. 'Did you really mean that you might want to get married some time?'

Sirius shrugged, trying to act nonchalant. In all honestly he had thought about proposing this weekend but even Remus, who never liked interfering in other people's love lives had said it wasn't something to decide in a split second. And then Sirius realised how true it was. How could he start a life when he could die the next day? The war was balancing on a knife's edge, and he wasn't about to go balance on it too. He would wait for the war to end, and then he would start building a life.

'It's just I see how happy James and Lily are. Maybe in a few years ... definitely when this war finishes... but I wouldn't _ever_ get married in a war. I would never bring a child into a war, you know? Who knows how long it'll be? I'd want to get married, but never now.'

Her eyes dulled a little and she sighed, looking back up at the ceiling. 'I've always wanted a big white wedding, with all eyes on me. With my Mother in the front smiling, and all my past boyfriends wishing they hadn't dumped me. I want to show everyone I can be something.'

Sirius took her hand, but didn't cuddle up to her like she expected. 'Maybe if you started painting more, I mean you're incredible Rose. Better than me. And that's saying something.'

She jumped up off the bed, wandering over to the tray of strawberries and biting into one, licking her lips. 'About the only thing I'm better than you at, and not by much. No, I think the world has bigger things planned for me. Painting is a hobby, and though I've never known, and still don't know what I want to spend my life doing, I know it's going to be something great.'

Sirius ran a hand through his glossy, and much shorter black hair (it barely reached his jaw) before pulling off his shirt and running a hand over his chest, over the new tattoo he got. R.A.B. He should have gotten it in 79' in all honesty, but only now had he swallowed his pride and gotten it done barely a week ago.

'Hmm? Like what?'

'Well I can't think of anything now, but the inner powers of Divination are telling me ... you need to take the rest of your clothes off and join me in the bath.' She winked at him, tugging off her trousers and leaving a trail of clothes leading to the bathroom. It was dimly lit and romantic. Sirius lit the candles whilst Rose ran them a bubble bath, and she scattered her namesake petals over the soft surface of the ivory bubbled water.

The only thing left on her body were the lacy knickers, and she seductively took them off, turning around to face the tub. Sirius wasn't the only one with tattoos devoting himself to her. True, he had been the first to get the large back piece. But immediately after she saw them for the first time in seventh year, she returned the next day (with two months detention for sneaking off from a Hogsmeade outing for three hours and banned from all future trips) with a beautiful design the same place as Sirius's.

It consisted of a trail of stars from the back of her neck, over one of her curvy bum cheeks to settle on her left thigh, some of the stars darker than others. Only the biggest star (only about the size as a snitch) had under it the initials _SB._ And Sirius knew he wasn't a girl but when he had seen it, he had quite literally almost cried.

Shaking himself out of that blissful moment back in Hogwarts, he tugged off his boxers and stood behind her, kissing her neck. She sighed contently.

'I wish we could stay here forever,' she whispered, turning around and pressing her naked body to his. 'I wish we never had to return,'

'I do too,' he murmured silkily against her lips, plunging his tongue into her mouth in a heated kiss and then touching her forehead with his own. 'But Moody'll kick my arse when we get back – strictly speaking I'm feeling a bit "under the weather" ... Prongs and his fucking humour ... he could of told Moody something a little more realistic.'

Rose pouted. 'Way to turn me off, mentioning your one-eyed mentor.'

Sirius laughed hysterically, getting into the tub and wrapping his arms around her when she got in too, her back on his chest and her long hair floating on the water around them.

'I can feel your stick against my arse Sirius, control your boy,'

He burst out laughing and pressed harder on her. 'Better?'

Rose turned her head around to give him a long and hard kiss. 'So much better. Man I've missed you these past two weeks.'

'Two weeks ... more like two years. I heard you were giving Lily and James and Remus a lot of trouble. You had a party in the Potter Manor and smoked a joint less than a metre from Harry? What's wrong with you Rosie? Correct me if I'm wrong but James told me you were so stoned when Harry came up to it you tried to give him some.'

Rose shook her head as he nuzzled her neck. 'Don't leave me then, I'll be good if you don't leave me.'

'So you're telling me you wouldn't have thrown a fork at Lily if I was there.'

'Honestly, I don't think I would have. I know how much she means to you ... how much she means to James. I don't want to lose you guys over someone so insignificant.'

Sirius sighed and stopped nuzzling her neck, instead resting his chin on her head. 'She might be insignificant to you, but she's like my sister. I love her so much.'

'You love me too right?' her voice was almost shy and tentative.

Sirius turned her face around, which was rather worried. 'Of course, haven't I said that hundreds of times? Je t'aime ...' he kissed her hair, 'Je t'aime ...' he licked the back of her neck, 'Je t'aime ...' He turned her face to kiss her lips fully and then softly rubbed his nose with hers. 'Only you Rose, it could only be you.'

'Who knows? You might fall in love with someone else. I'm not a good person to love.' Her voice sounded so sad. 'I've been told so enough times.'

'And I am?' he scoffed, shaking his head. 'I think you've improved. Remember how horrible you use to be in Hogwarts before we got together. If possible, whilst you were with James you became worse. You were amazing to him, but not to anyone else. I think during your fifth year, and some of sixth with Prongs, you were at your peak of unpopularity, none of the girls really liked you.'

Rose nodded, revelling in the feeling of her boyfriend running his hands through her hair. 'My Mother says you're good for me.'

Sirius chuckled, and nudged the side of her face with his nose. 'I am, aren't I? We balance each other out. We're perfect together.'

'And when we're not perfect together, we're destructive. We're always going to fall into one of those categories. Wasn't it James who said that fight we got in during January had him scared for my life?'

Sirius winced. A horrible memory. It was an accident; he hadn't meant to cheat on Rose. He had just been terribly, horribly, dreadfully drunk. And when she found out, she tracked down the girl and they got in a fight until the bitch pulled out a knife on Rose. Sirius had to sort out the whole mess (using Memory Charms).

But Rose never thanked him; instead she broke up with him. The Potter Manor drawing room would never look the same. But after all, what had Professors said about explosive magic? About using magic during a rage or a fit of uncontrollable anger? They said it could be the death of someone. More often than not though, at least for Sirius, it was the death of a prized possession or a photograph.

They did get back together two days later and it was almost like nothing happened. They pretended nothing happened. But he could tell her trust for him had lessened considerably.

Sirius pressed his lips to her ear and nibbled the naked lobe. 'Don't mention that day, please don't mention that day,' he pleaded into her ear.

Rose sighed and leant back against him, triggering a jolt from Sirius's southern region. She laughed when he groaned.

'Rosie—'

'No, no, no. We're not rushing this. It could well be the best day of my life, and we're not rushing to have sex just because you can't control that beast down there.'

He grinned wickedly, the silver twinkle in his eyes intensifying. 'So you've finally come to sense and acknowledged that it's a beast?'

'Did I say beast, I meant goblin.'

They exchanged banter and heated kisses and whispered words. He washed her hair, and she scrubbed his back. And in the bedroom, smelling of roses and more flowery scents, with dripping wet bodies did Sirius lower her down and kiss a smooth trail from the back of her neck to where the tattoos ended on her thigh.

And the kisses they traded were some of the best; such loving and slow and torturous ones. And they cradled, nuzzled, hugged and held each other.

Panting, and wiping a tear from her eye at how truly incredible it had been, the thought of taking a Contraception Potion slipped totally, and unintentionally from Rose's mind, especially when he sleepily cuddled up against her stomach and kissed her naval before drifting to sleep.

_o _

Sirius's eyes stopped flowing with tears as the sweet memory of the best night he had ever experienced. His whimpers grew louder as the memory faded, but James was right. It had made the pain so much more bearable thinking of her.

Had she returned for him? Where was she now? Living with Remus? Living with Emanuelle? How was she coping knowing what had happened to him? All Sirius could think of was how messed up she was making people's lives. Rose was so amazing and funny and _fun _most of the time, but only when Sirius was there. When he was there to control her and there to love her the way she needed to be loved.

Bellatrix smoothed the spot where the newly refreshed Dark Mark was. And once again, though surrounded by a mass of deep red flesh and scarlet blood, the Dark Mark stood out, vivid as ever against his pale white skin. Lord Voldemort peered down at Sirius with a strange glint in his eyes. Behind them, near the door were a cluster of wizards. Snape stood there with unfathomable and tight eyes, and Narcissa stood there with a hand to her mouth. Malfoy's expression was triumphant but Lord Voldemort's was neither.

It was almost questioning...

'I wonder,' he drifted off, waving his wand so blinds appeared before the large window. The room was cast into darkness. Sirius didn't need to watch them leave. His body slumped in the chain as it convulsed with pain. Once or twice he called out; the Basilisk Venom shocking him with how much it hurt. But after a few moments he found himself missing Rose. And so he let his eyes drift closed, and his memory roam back to the Valentine's Day in Paris.

_x_

Sirius looked rather adorable. With his red nose, and flushed cheeks and long black trench coat. His gloved hands were entwined with Rose's as they talked nonsense about this and that. They were taking a stroll through a park, and later that day Sirius would take Rose to a wonderful dinner in a prestigious French Wizarding restaurant.

They had been to see the Eifel Tower, and Sirius had taken Rose shopping in Champs-Élysées. They visited the Louvre, where the art left them breathless.

'I wish I could paint like that,' Rose would say each time they passed a particularly beautiful painting. They ate in cafes, and had just finished what had turned out to be an amazing Valentine's afternoon. Sure enough many other couples were walking around with heart shaped balloons and boxes of chocolates but Sirius didn't need to get Rose any of that.

All they needed was a camera for the memories, and each other. It already felt like they were the only people in the world. The air turned a little white with each puff of air, and the weather was very chilly. It was almost seven, and their dinner reservation was at nine. Through this whole trip, had they not once apparated or disapparated to get to any of their destinations. They wanted to enjoy and embrace Paris, and so they took cabs everywhere (fucking expensive cabs, might Sirius add).

The handsome man managed to catch the attention of an empty cab after ten minutes of painful waiting on a street corner, and the cab raced them off to their hotel. When the entered, he smiled at the woman Mathilde who grinned at him, and took Rose's hand to hurry into a semi-empty elevator.

They barged the people behind them and started kissing passionately. There were groans and hisses of impatience and annoyance but when it pinged and they got off (with half the people in the elevator) they started laughing and running towards their room. As soon as they burst in, Sirius dragged her to the bedroom and ravished her. But when they were getting to the good part, he saw the clock and hissed. She started laughing at his annoyed and angered expression. She touched his face with her fingertips, and then stood up to get dressed again.

'Don't worry, we can continue later...'

'Rose, I'm not being left like this—'

She silenced him with a kiss. 'Later. Now go have a cold shower.'

Sirius changed in a black tux, and he did, in all honesty look _incredible._ His body was slender, and he was tall. His jet black glossy hair was the same colour as his tux, and his pale skin stood out. His eyes were piercing and mysterious, and his grin was wide and radiant. Even Rose exhaled in shock at how she had ever managed to land him. Rose herself was wearing the new dress her enigmatic boyfriend had gotten her; it was dark blue and ended mid-calf. With her infamous stilettos, Rose had never felt prettier.

'Dear God you're so beautiful,' he whispered against her lips, crashing them onto her own. So what if they both appeared to the restaurant half an hour late, with lipstick all over their faces and flushed expressions? Sirius had been wrong; _this_ was the best night of his life. He kissed Rose again over the small table on the second floor sitting comfortably on the large and magnificent balcony with the waning gibbous beaming down at them.

'If we ever do get married, let us get married here. Let us get married in Paris.' She whispered, pressing a lingering kiss to his hand and staring up at the luminous skies above.

The next morning Sirius woke up naked and alone in his bed. The sun was spilling from the window and the covers were almost deliberately pooled around him, barely managing to cover his ... southern region. Not that he was embarrassed, merely suspicious. Rose never woke up before him. He looked around the room to see her sitting on the floor, with his dress shirt on her small body and a pencil in her hand, perched on a large canvas.

'Hope you don't mind ... went out this morning and got some art equipment. I couldn't sleep. And I saw you whilst I was in the middle of drawing the necklace you got me, with the sun streaming in, and I knew I had to capture how beautiful you looked.' She didn't even look up, her eyes still trained to the canvas.

'Don't move,' she whispered, looking up at his torso and back down to try to recreate it. Sirius wasn't exactly patient, and when he needed to go toilet she tried to make him piss in a bottle, refusing to have him so much as move an inch.

'You're crazy you are,' he said, his head still resting on his arm, the way it had been since last night. The silence wasn't exactly awkward, but rather pregnant. 'Yesterday was the best night of my life,' he breathed after a moment, laughing at the sweet memories of barely fifteen hours ago.

It had been the best night of his life. And it wasn't going to be forgotten too, not any time soon.

'It was for me too, until I saw how many women were looking at you in the restaurant. I felt ready to curse one of them. But then I didn't want to ruin it, I'm quite good at ruining things ... there was a rude French woman at the corner shop though, and I was so close to punching her. She was lucky her friend came and saved her.' Rose said bitterly before laughing.

They stayed in silence until after maybe ten minutes, Sirius moaned painfully. 'Rosie, I need to piss, can't you take a picture or something?'

She looked up, with a smile on her face and a look of pure amazement. 'How could I have not thought of that? You're a genius you are!' She sprung up, like a frog and leapt out of the room, coming back seconds later with a camera. She snapped it a few times before peering down the wizard camera with satisfaction.

'Okay, you can go piss whilst I make you lunch. Yes Sirius, it's twelve thirty. Now, I can't cook much, so do you want a banana? Or some ice cream? Or ... me?'

All the way from the bedroom she could hear his tinkering laugh, or maybe that was the urine hitting the surface of the toilet water? Either way she grinned back at it.

'Um, ooh Rose, that's a hard one,' he called to her over the sound of a running tap. 'I think I'll just have some wine maybe, or that last packet of chocolate frogs you have?'

'Dick!' she shouted, popping her sketch on the dresser and dragging her body on her knees to the suitcase standing in the corner. She flicked quickly through it, searching for the last chocolate frog. Absentmindedly, her eyes ran over the Contraception Potion but she didn't register it. She found her wand (Rose refused to use magic this whole trip) and she also found some pretty sexy lingerie. Well, now of all times was the moment to try it.

Looking in the large mirror opposite the enormous window, she dressed in ivory lace and pirouetted to see if she looked nice at all angles. She also tied her heavy, long thick hair in a bun and winked in the mirror. When she came into the kitchen to see Sirius, sitting completely nude on a tabletop and munching on a croissant, Rose almost laughed at the choked expression coming across his face.

In between her boobs was a chocolate frog packet. 'Now, did you say a chocolate frog, or wine?'

Sirius swallowed eagerly. 'I thought I said Rose?'

She shook her head, coming to stand closer to him and rest her elbows on his thighs to tease him. 'Nope, I'm pretty sure you said a chocolate frog. Aw well, here you go. I'm off to watch some mindless bullshit on the television that will inevitably fill the gaping hole in my heart you have left.'

Sirius licked his lips and watched her walk out of the kitchen (his eyes firmly on her taut little butt swinging seductively from left to right) and when she was out of his sight, he groaned loudly.

'Rose, Rose come on, I was joking!'

Unlike the previous day, this time they did not go around looking at tourist attractions. It was their last full day, and a stroll through the park and proper lunch in a cheap café was more than enough. She showed him how to adjust the volume on the television and in turn, he played silly games with her around the house, including their own version of strip poker.

They made love on the floor, and the kitchen table, and the piano and the sofa. They had strawberries brought up to them, and wine and champagne and chocolate. They shared a sensuous bath after licking the melted chocolate off each other's backs. And because they were too lazy and tired, Sirius ordered them snails and frog legs which he had tried many times before. Rose however, had never tried frog legs or snails. She seemed not to like it.

She was in the toilet, puking up the contents of everything she had eaten all day. He however, wasn't in the toilet with her, holding her head and massaging her shoulders. Instead, he sat on top of the grand piano laughing his arse off at the loud and dramatic retches coming his way. He should have felt bad, but he didn't. Not at all.

From her suitcase, they withdrew a small packet of ecstasy pills. Sirius could feel his body respond enthusiastically after maybe two hours as it was finally ingested by his system. Smoking weed, they danced to loud music from the stereo in the corner for hours, drinking as much water as they could. Sirius felt calmer and happier and so much hornier. More than once he stopped Rose from dancing so they could take part in intimate activities. She gave him a pole dance (he conjured a golden eight foot long pole) and she also gave him a strip dance. Rose's kisses tasted so much stronger, and her voice seemed deeper and sexier. She looked radiant in the dim light, and she felt soft and warm.

Sirius was blown.

But after a few rounds of such blissful love making (setting a record for the most rounds he had ever undergone consecutively) he still managed to feel energetic and active. He stood on the balcony overlooking the beautiful view of Paris. And he shouted and screamed, laughing and barking from the top. Rose joined him, copying. And they screamed until their throats were aching and they grew a little tired. One more last kiss turned into one last caress.

They fell asleep in a hot and saucy position, but Sirius had passed the point of caring how he woke up with Rose. His head was aching hard and his eyes kept drooping shut. This was not going to be a good morning.

'I'm so tired,' he rasped, his throat grating together from the thirst possessing him. But Rose was still fast asleep, grinding her teeth hard. He gritted his own teeth in annoyance at her and got out of the bed. His body was positively aching. Sirius's muscles groaned and his head felt positively like shit. When he drank some water (a lot of water) and opened the windows he felt a little better.

When had it gotten so hot? Sirius got back in bed from the physical exhaustion he was feeling but he couldn't go to sleep because Rose was fucking grinding her teeth. Not only that, but when he did manage to ignore the sound, he still couldn't drift off. And yet he yawned again and again. He stretched and moved to get in a better position but it didn't help.

Rose started stirring and when she looked up, the grinding finally stopped. 'Get me some water,' she managed to rasp.

'Go get it yourself,' groaned Sirius, touching his head fervently and in worry. He could feel something dribbling down it. Was it blood? When he tentatively touched it and looked at his index finger, he saw that it was just sweat.

Oh good, he had been really worried there. He tended to be worried when on ecstasy, tended to get paranoid. Hmm, weird...

'What's up with you,' asked Rose, kissing her teeth. Sirius grunted in frustration. If she did something else with her teeth, he'd hit her.

'Well you were grinding up your teeth, and it was fucking hard to sleep.' He snapped harshly, his eyes flashing darkly. They bickered for the rest of the afternoon, and by six in the evening, they finally managed to put everything back in their bags and make up slightly with a heated kiss.

Sirius called the front office and a bellboy came up, giving them peculiar and suspicious looks. Rose barked at him and he hastily looked away, sneaking glances in the elevator when they weren't looking.

Sirius came over to the counter and paid for the hotel, all in a total coming up to two thousand, four hundred and thirty four francs, which was okay since the two thousand pounds converted into quite a bit. Sirius took a taxi, and helped Rose in. He put his head up and cuddled to the cab door, his eyes drooping closed but unable to totally fall into a peaceful sleep. He knew immediately when she was asleep because the grinding started up again and he growled in a low voice, poking her once or twice to get her quiet.

After half an hour, Sirius grew increasingly bored and hungry. He licked his lips and poked Rose, who barked at him and turned to the other direction. She was still angry at him; man was she childish.

'Rosie,' he whispered. Her frighteningly angry eyes met his. They seemed to cackle with energy.

'What?' she asked grumpily, wiping her lips and gulping down the refillable water from her bottle.

'I'm bored,' he confessed. 'Entertain me.'

'Fuck you.'

Out of the two of them, she was the most moody during the after-effects of coming down. Well, that was wrong actually. James was the worst but he was closely followed by Rose.

'Rosie, please,' he pleaded in a soft voice. She looked up with her green eyes and sighed.

He opened his arms and scooted closer to her, wrapping his arms around her very curvy body and immersing himself into kissing her totally and purely. Rose responded less than eagerly but as the cab trip neared its end, they were chuckling and laughing with each other.

'See, we're friends again.' Sirius told her, brushing tresses from her face and kissing the small bruise she had acquired yesterday night.

_o _

That was the last time Sirius had ever taken hardcore drugs like ecstasy. He was rather proud of himself. No, he just stuck to smoking fags. A filthy habit that hadn't kicked up until she left. It was only a few cigarettes a day, and he wasn't even really suffering from withdrawal symptoms. The cigarettes had merely been used as a way of calming himself down and trying to forget the love of his life.

Oh, it was the best trip of his life. He had never loved so hard. He had only ever loved two woman, and the second had been a girl called Gwendolyn and she had been marvellous. Three years older, and very sweet. But like always, him and his love gravitated back to Taten.

Sirius closed his eyes with a satisfied smile and looked up at the moon, the bit of moon in his sight.

_xo _

'Why is he smiling, my Lord?' asked Bellatrix. Little did Black know, but the wall was transparent for them. There was a small room next to the attic, and they could see everything he was doing. Sirius was smiling. A real and pure and true smile.

Lord Voldemort didn't like that smile. Voldemort swallowed patiently. 'He is thinking of a happier memory to cloud out the pain Bellatrix. Surely you remember the pain?'

She shivered, tossing her mane of black hair behind her. 'I would have done anything for you my Lord, through the pain I would have done anything.' Bella declared.

'Oh, I know Bellatrix. You are _one_ _of my_ most faithful followers.'

The beam that split across her face was both radiant and slightly disturbing. But Voldemort had put emphasis on the "_one of my"_ because he didn't want her getting any ideas.

'Thank you my Dark Lord, thank you,' she breathed, falling on her knee and kissing the silk of his robes. Lord Voldemort nodded tiredly. As she made to leave (sensing he wanted to stay alone) he called her forward.

'Bella, call up Severus.' His voice was silky smooth and serpentine but very forceful. She felt compelled to do as he asked.

Bellatrix almost asked why he wanted Severus Snape but knew that he hated questions being asked. More so questions that required him to share information he most probably did not want to share; the Dark Lord had his secrets, and he would kill for them to remain precisely that, a secret.

'Yes my Lord.' Bellatrix whispered after a long moment of watching him.

Lord Voldemort looked back up to see Sirius Black chuckling softly to himself; in fact he could _hear_ it. Voldemort gritted his teeth furiously and waited to see if the handsome young boy would do anything else. Nothing but the usual spasms and convulsions of his body and a whimper or two but then they would fade and the laughter would start; the laughter that sounded like a dog's. Sharp barks, real laughter. Not the laughter he chuckled to spite Lord Voldemort and annoy him.

There was a knock on the door after a few minutes of waiting and Severus entered the small, dark room. He sat down on the other side of the table from his lord.

'Yes, my Lord?' he asked politely.

Voldemort looked up with a sad smile. 'May I ask you a question Severus? You may not know the answer, but I will ask nonetheless.'

'Of course my Lord, in any way I can assist.'

Voldemort looked into Severus's rather beautiful black orbs. 'You remember the pain of the Dark Mark?'

'Yes, the pain was not ... something easy to manage. But diluted Basilisk Venom is not something that one expects to feel good.'

Voldemort nodded, looking back at the transparent wall where Sirius Black was still laughing. 'You remember how I instructed you to feel when I administered the Dark Mark?'

Slowly, and catching on fast, Severus nodded once. 'You said my Lord that I needed to accept and want the Dark Mark. You said that during the final administration, I needed to let the Dark Mark possess me. It feels like a spirit when it entered me, when it was carved for its last time. I let it take over me.'

The Dark Lord nodded softly, and his voice grew to the scarcest of whispers. 'What do you think will happen if Black has denied it? If he denies the third and final administration?'

Severus thought long and hard, looking towards the arrogant man he despised almost as much as his own father. After a moment's pause, he shrugged slightly.

'My Lord, I am not exactly sure. But I _am _sure that this Dark Mark will not turn out in your favour if he denies it. If the power and spirit of the venom cannot win him over, then I fear what he may be able to do with that power.'

Voldemort's eyes glistened as he peered back through the looking glass.

'Indeed.'

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><p><em>AN: Leave a review and tell me what you thought. Thank you and have a great day, and if you leave a review have an even greater day!_


	19. Close Your Eyes

_Disclaimer; I don't own anything you recognise, only the plot and the OCs. _

_A/N: The little extract in here from the note Regulus wrote is from the amazing sixth Harry Potter book. I've also re-read the chapter where Kreacher is telling Harry, Ron and Hermione the story of what happened to Regulus. This chapter is quite close to what actually happened but I've changed it around in case you're wondering why it's different to what you've read._

_Also, all grammatical errors during Kreacher's speech are intentional, but if they are anywhere else then sorry!_

_Thanks for reading guys, I hope you like it,_

_xo _

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><p><em>xoxo <em>

_19. Close Your Eyes_

Albus made sure no one was in his office after eleven o'clock and it had just struck midnight. He told Professor McGonagall, who more often than not turned up without an invitation (not that she needed one), that he had an important meeting. If she doubted it, which he was sure she did, no questions were voiced and she bid him a good night at the end of the feast.

There was one more week left until the end of the school term and Albus feared greatly for his students. Whenever they were away from him was a moment away where they could be hurt. It was almost as if they were his children, each and every one of them.

Lord Voldemort was courageous but even he knew that in Hogwarts (Dumbledore's territory) he had no hopes of reaching the students. But when they were at home he could, and there was nothing Albus could do about. Albus was also feeling guilty for the plans he had set up for the Order of the Phoenix and the Aurors. He was doing more harm then good by letting Lord Voldemort take over the Wizarding world. That was what would happen after all. Without Albus there fighting, and scaring away the Death Eaters, Voldemort would wreak havoc and massacre those not worthy of having magical blood.

Albus was frightened. But his plan would work, _it had to work! _And in the end more lives would be saved then lost. What were a thousand men to a hundred thousand?

In a tumble of ash and soot and coughing, a small figure, maybe three foot tall stumbled out of the fireplace, interrupting Albus's train of thought. Kreacher straightened up and brushed his pristine rag. It wasn't really a rag, but rather a white cloth covering his skinny grey body.

'Kreacher is sorry Master Dumbledore, would you like me to clean the mess up?'

Albus could tell that Kreacher didn't like him. Albus was everything families like the Blacks disliked. He was a pureblood but a traitor to his 'kind'. He was a 'Muggle-lover' and a 'Mudblood-sympathiser' and even if he was, he didn't care what they thought. He didn't care at all what any of them had to say.

'Of course I don't want you to, Kreacher. Look—' with a wave of Albus's wand all of the soot and ash vanished into thin air. 'Now, would you like something to eat? To drink?'

'No thanks Master Dumbledore.'

'You can call me Albus, it's alright,' his expression was sweet and soothing and Kreacher gulped, shaking his head. He had heard about Albus Dumbledore. And a few pleasantries weren't going to change his opinion.

'Alright then, sit down Kreacher.' Albus said, sitting in his high thrown and looking down at the small creature nestled uncomfortably in the chair all too big. Albus conjured a drink and poured some water for Kreacher who looked down at it and hesitantly back up at the piercing blue eyes fastened on him. Kreacher gulped.

'The other day...' Albus started, clasping his hands and looking down at the house elf.

Kreacher cleared his throat. 'What Kreacher is saying is true.' The high voice murmured. 'All of what Kreacher says is true, Headmaster.'

'Tell me then, tell me what you wanted to tell me before.'

_x_

Regulus ran a shaky hand through his black jaw-length hair. His Dark Lord had said they would only take an hour! It had been five, and he was so worried. So worried for Kreacher. He longed to make sure his friend was okay – because most of the time Kreacher _was _his only friend. None of the other Death Eaters appealed to him; not even his own cousins. They were so patronising, and they didn't understand. They didn't understand the frenzied and questioning thoughts racing through his mind. He was bitter at what the Dark Lord and the Death Eaters had done to the woman he had loved.

But Regulus pushed that thought to the back of his mind. He was never going to think of her again. _She was gone. They were gone. _

Was this the choice Regulus was willing to take? Was this the route he was hungry to follow? And how much would he regret it? When he was staring down at the dead body of his beloved brother? Or when he was in Azkaban for the rest of his dying days?

But the Dark Lord forgave not betrayal from his own, but instead the ones who betrayed _their_ own. A bit hypocritical if you asked me, Regulus thought bitterly.

Chanting subconsciously in his mind, Regulus wished for Kreacher to return safely. If the small house elf died then who would he have to talk to? Who would help ease the heavy load of his mind? No one. Not one person. Because in all the world there was only one person Regulus Arcturus Black trusted, and that was his house elf.

Then the room was flooded with an enormous wave of noise; a crack. A disapparation crack. Landing on the floor, soaking wet and with a trembling body and blood down his face, was Kreacher. A stuttering and scared Kreacher, who started howling with tears and cradling his bloody left arm. Regulus gaped at his sobbing house elf and he hurried forward.

'Kreacher! Kreacher what happened?' he all but cried, lifting the house elf up easily in his strong arms and carrying him to the empty drawing room as fast as he could.

It took Kreacher a full ten minutes to answer, what with his gasping and sobbing and screaming and trembling. But finally he looked at Regulus. His dark eyes were orbs of fright.

His mouth opened and closed frantically for a while, but Regulus waited patiently. Finally, Kreacher gasped for air to talk. 'B-b-bad things M-master, b-bad th-things hap-happened.' He hiccupped, burying his head in Regulus's arm.

'Explain from the beginning, don't leave anything out,' and despite the smooth gentleness of Regulus's voice it was still an order. 'How did you come back? Why did he let you leave alive if he were to show you terrible things?'

Kreacher hiccupped and moved around a little in Regulus's lap. He looked up with a curious expression in his wet eyes. 'You called Kreacher?' It was almost a question.

Regulus frowned. 'No I didn't—'

'Yes you did Master Reg. You called Kreacher and Kreacher came.'

'No ... No? _Oh! _I called you. I wanted you to come home safe.'

Kreacher almost wailed and buried his dirty matted head into Regulus's pristine and glittering robes. But Regulus didn't mind, not at all. He was like his brother in the sense that he would prefer to go in his birthday suit to an occasion rather than dress up in heavy and restricting robes.

'Thank you Master, thank you so much,' the elf breathed, wiping his tears with his disgusting and filthy damp clothing.

'You need to tell me everything that happened Kreacher. Everything. But first go wash. Mother will have an emotional breakdown if she ever saw something so filthy in our home.'

Kreacher, almost as if he had forgotten the ordeal he just experienced, smirked bitterly. 'She let Master Sirius live here.'

Regulus barked a laugh and signalled for the house elf to go and wash up. In actual fact he knew very much of Kreacher's dislike for Sirius. For one, the eldest Black son was rude to the elf and when they had been much younger; he had hurt and beaten the elf up. But in turn Kreacher made Sirius's life a living hell, reporting anything suspicious he found in Sirius's bedroom to their Mother or stealing letters to give to Orion regardless of if it was a start-of-year letter from McGonagall or just a letter asking him how he was from James Potter.

Ninety percent of the times Sirius had been beaten or locked in the cellar were down to Kreacher. And Regulus was both fond and bitter about it.

He still couldn't get that meeting out of his head when a few months ago he had come across Sirius in Diagon Alley. He had asked for a cheque from Mother and was then sent by Malfoy and Narcissa to use the money and go pay for an enormous package from Borgin and Burke's. Not that Walburga knew, she thought her son had invested the money in some sort of business with Lucius Malfoy. During the reunion Sirius had been kind to him, far kinder than Regulus remembered his older brother being these last few years.

And to Reg, Sirius looked so different! He looked ... _happier._

Regulus started chewing on his nails whilst he waited for the house elf to clean up. What could have possibly happened? What had the Dark Lord done? What could he have done that would get Kreacher like that? Well he intended to find out. But now Regulus thought about it, he wasn't so sure if he wanted to know.

Regulus knew that the cause was evil and that though he didn't necessarily like Mudbloods and he _hated _Muggles they didn't really deserve what was happening to them, or what was going to happen. Maybe the Muggles did, but the Mudbloods didn't. Regardless of what he thought though, the Dark Lord would win this war. And Regulus wanted to be on the winning side, _his_ side.

He wanted to win this war, and he wanted to make his Mother proud. Besides, some of his acquaintances were in association with the Dark Lord. They weren't actual Death Eaters but they did favours and volunteered money for the Dark Lord and the cause.

The cause of ridding the world of dirty Mudbloods and enslaving those pigs called Muggles. Regulus wasn't even sure if it was truly what he wanted, wasn't even sure if he wholeheartedly believed in it. And that short reunion with Sirius made him yearn for the peace and the acceptance and the bravery his brother held as a shield. The reunion with his brother reminded him of his past lover, his half-blood lover.

But Regulus couldn't go to his brother for refuge. It would be embarrassing, especially if those horrid Marauders were there too. It'd make his whole life an embarrassment. He would be ashamed. And by "horrid Marauders" Regulus meant the swine James Potter and that filthy werewolf Remus Lupin. Peter hardly counted.

After ten minutes of staring into the flames, Kreacher entered with most of the filth off his body and a clean change of clothes. His eyes were still bloodshot and red, and his lip was trembling. He bowed in front of Regulus and stayed standing, less than a metre away.

'Kreacher, don't be ridiculous. Sit down.'

Kreacher tentatively sat down on the floor, his head near Regulus's feet. The way a slave should be. Kreacher wasn't paid. He was a slave. He would always be a slave; expendable and insignificant. But why had the Dark Lord needed a slave? Why had the Dark Lord needed someone expendable and insignificant?

'Go from the beginning,' Regulus whispered gently, his beautiful eyes showing the kindness that they never usually showed, that they saved only for the house elf before him.

The elf's voice was hoarse and quiet but sure and definite. 'The D-Dark Lord and Kreacher travelled to the cave the Dark Lord needed to conceal something in. The waves were terrifying, and it was so cold. More than once the Dark Lord ... he would _curse _Kreacher to hurry up. It was such pain but Kreacher knows he had to do what the Dark Lord wanted. K-Kreacher ... Kreacher followed him through a cave entrance until the Dark Lord reached some sort of rock wall ... he cut Kreacher so he would bleed. It was deep ... and he didn't heal it ...'

Regulus gasped in shock at how deep the cut on Kreacher's arm was. He pulled out his blackish grey wand and tapped the forearm where the cut healed but a jagged line still remained. 'I'm so sorry Kreacher, if I had known he would do this...'

Kreacher squealed and shook his head. 'No Master no! T'is not your fault! T'is the Dark Lord's fault!' Then Kreacher gasped, almost as if expecting to be hit. 'Kreacher is sorry! Please forgive Kreacher for slandering your Dark Lord—'

'_It's okay Kreach!_ Look what he has done to you. He doesn't deserve your kindness. Tell me the rest. Tell me now!'

Kreacher's voice faltered when he regained the pace of his story telling. 'H-he pressed Kreacher's arm against the rock until the blood was smeared on it. Then the rock wall crumbled away ... Kreacher doesn't remember much of what else happened when the Dark Lord got to the small island in the centre of the lake. Kreacher doesn't remember much because of the bodies surrounding the island. M-master, there were _so _many bod-bodies,' whispered Kreacher, shaking his head and wiping the tears flowing from his eyes.

'"And He built a wall of his Greatest enemies. Of their bodies."' Regulus recited from one of the Dark Lord's speeches.

'It was more than a wall Master. Kreacher and the Dark Lord went in a boat to travel to this underground island. It was small, maybe the size of this room. The Dark Lord made Kreacher get out and drink a potion he had poured into a basin. _The pain_ Master Reg. The pain was enough to make Kreacher wish for dying.'

Regulus's eyes were wide, the scene flickering in his mind almost as if he were there. He knew that the small house elf would have been trembling and sobbing whilst he drank the potion, whilst he was forced to drink it. He knew Kreacher would have been begging and pleading. Regulus's blue eyes stung with tears. How could the Dark Lord do this? But Regulus already knew the answer. If the man was willing to kill human beings, then house elves didn't matter in the slightest to him.

'Why did he put a potion in the basin?' Regulus whispered, his large hand almost covering the whole of his small friend's forearm. He meant it in a comforting gesture but Kreacher's eyes flickered down more than once to the hand in worry.

'Maybe the Dark Lord was testing ... maybe he wanted to see how good it was?'

'No, no there's more to it!' Regulus bellowed angrily, jumping up and pacing the room, more than once staring down at the fire. 'What else happened?' he demanded.

'The potion was finished he dropped a locket into the basin. He called it a _horcrux. _But then Kreacher stopped paying attention. The _pain_ Master Regulus. The pain of memories, terrible memories. Of Haughty's death ... of all Kreacher had done wrong. Kreacher needed water. So he hurried over to the edge and drank the water. It was dirty and it tasted disgusting...'

After a minute or so of silence Regulus looked up in amazement. 'What happened after? When you drank the water...' He drifted off from his sentence. The horror in the house elf's eyes. It was enough to frighten even Regulus.

'They weren't bodies, were they Kreacher?' whispered Regulus, stepping closer to the kneeling elf who had started crying again. 'They weren't bodies, the bodies you saw in the water before. So what were they?' He already knew the answer but Kreacher's confirmation was enough.

'Inferi,' whispered the quiet voice.

Regulus stood up angrily and started shaking his head. 'Impossible, it's impossible. Inferi? He used inferi to guard the locket? The _horcrux?_ What is a horcrux?'

Kreacher was still rocking on the floor. He didn't know, the Dark Lord had not explained. When he looked up, all that could be seen on his elfish face was the ghost of a cry. Almost identical to Regulus's.

A horcrux. It had been a horcrux.

_o _

Albus shook his head, a sharp intake of breath resounding around the large office.

_Impossible. A horcrux? Voldemort had made a horcrux. And in turn, Voldemort would stay forever. For as long as his locket lived. For as long as the world lived. Maybe even longer than God himself._

Albus didn't know what to say. Kreacher had quietened too, his eyes foiled over and his head buried in his arms with sniffles escaping every few minutes.

Albus gently stood up to stand before the fire. With a beautiful long hoot, Fawkes soared through the air and landed softly on Albus's shoulder, clicking in his ear. It was comforting. But not nearly as comforting as he needed.

How would he battle Voldemort now? This changed everything. All the plans he had made to ensure that they won the war. And now that was never going to happen. Unless they found the locket horcrux and destroyed it. _But how to destroy it?_

Albus had a rather large collection of books on all sorts of dark things. And he had read quite a few, but only one merely mentioned a horcrux in passing with a sentence long explanation of what it actually was. Now he needed to investigate how to destroy it, and if Albus could destroy it before he gave himself over on the twenty seventh of December, over two weeks away, surely they would win? If he couldn't destroy it then he would leave instructions behind, leave them to those he trusted _only _for the task.

'W-what happened then?' Albus's voice was shaky and unstable, and it sounded like he had seen horrors and experienced things so terrible he could barely talk. True, he had experienced horrors that sometimes left him crying at night. But he was always composed. Always! So why now was he scared? So scared his eyes watered and his lip wavered just a little.

He was scared because Voldemort was more powerful than he had anticipated. And so because of this, so much more would have to be done to stop him.

Kreacher looked up after a long moment of silence filled with the cooing of Fawkes and the cackling of the flames.

'Master Regulus said he would find it. Find it and destroy whatever it was...'

_x_

Regulus looked down at the flames, with a glass of whiskey in his hand and his hair dishevelled. It had been three days since Kreacher had come back from the task with Voldemort. Three days that Regulus had spent trying to find out what exactly a horcrux was and how to destroy it. He hadn't even retrieved it yet, but that was for later. Later today in fact.

Regulus had heard the word before; he knew it was the darkest branch of magic. Quite literally. It was illegal to even experiment in that region of dark magic. And yet he would have to dwell into the realms of dark magic and try to solve the puzzle.

Researching for hours in the Black library had taught him what a horcrux was. A horcrux was a weapon aiding one who wished to live forever, or the closest thing to forever there was. You couldn't live forever; it was against the fundamental dynamics of magic, of religion, of life. But people always managed to find ways in at least living longer, in defying the rule just a little longer.

The Philosopher's Stone. Giving the user gold and long life. But you had to keep taking the elixir, and if you didn't then you would die. You would fade like seasons through a year.

And yet horcruxes were worse; so much worse. Because to live forever meant the downfall of another life - killing a human. It meant saying the ancient words of Latin and wishing dark things for others. And it meant, inevitably, that you would live for as long as it took your horcrux to flounder. Inside the horcrux was a piece of your soul. Your very own soul. Your very own soul ripped apart by the defiance of human nature.

Regulus shivered and threw his head back, knocking down the bitter whiskey. He poured another glass. Kreacher was helping Walburga change into some robes for a party she was attending. She had been going out a lot lately even though her late husband had only passed a few months ago. Maybe it was her way of dealing with it.

But everyone knew that Orion and Walburga had been in a loveless marriage. The births of their sons had been through making loveless love. One of the very reasons Orion had affairs left, right and centre and Walburga herself was never at home doing God knows what elsewhere.

During their childhood, Regulus and Sirius had thought this was how married couples were. Then they entered Hogwarts and saw how families and couples really were. They never questioned their parents on why their relationship was so different to others. Sometimes when they were at home and their Mother was not, Orion would bring back a witch. Regulus and Sirius would drown out the sounds of love being made by chatting loudly or going outside to play Quidditch, though this ritual faded when their relationship began to fade too.

Perhaps that was why it was hard for Regulus to love. Sirius was lucky, he got out in time. He was shown the proper ways by the Potters. The lovey-dovey Potters with their quality time and their family games and their trips out together, not for the publicity but for the pleasure of being as one.

He was glad his Father was dead; the man had participated in _her _death.

Regulus poured himself a final glass just as Kreacher entered the room. It was half past four and the sky was getting darker. Regulus's birthday had been brilliant, and a little over a month ago. The fourth of November. He was a month into nineteen now, and so far, he was not enjoying it. But the party had been fun. Getting drunk and forgetting _her_ had been fun.

Lies. It hadn't been that fun at all.

'Master Reg?' asked Kreacher hesitantly, looking up at his master. Regulus grinned dazzlingly even though inside his stomach felt like jelly and his heart was fluttering like a butterfly's wings. He knocked back the whiskey and brushed his robes, looking once more at the roaring flames.

Was it weird that on this day he felt like it was his last? He was being ridiculous. He was going to be fine. He would retrieve the locket and destroy it, in hopes that someone else, someone more powerful would destroy the Dark Lord afterwards.

Regulus had been thinking about it. This whole war wasn't for him. He should have realised when the war took away the love of his life. But instead he hadn't been brave enough to stand up to the Dark Lord for killing the woman he loved.

So, after he destroyed the horcrux he would go in hiding, somewhere exotic with beautiful women (he had the same taste as his brother for holidays in the sun and naked women walking nearby). Maybe Spain, though he had been so many times before. Maybe Brazil? Or Mexico? Somewhere no one would know him. Somewhere beautiful, like the sun. Somewhere that would drown out the pain of his heart's loss.

'Are you ready Master Regulus?' asked Kreacher, walking forward. He stuck his hand out and Regulus enclosed it in his much larger and paler one.

Regulus tucked the note he had written for the Dark Lord in his pocket and swallowed hard. 'No, no I don't think I am. I don't think I ever will be. But let's go anyway.'

Disapparating was a horrible experience, but disapparating through house elf disapparation was so much more disorientating and frightening. Regulus literally felt like his head would split open and his eyes would explode. Then the smell of salt and waves filled his nostrils as he gasped for air hungrily.

'So s-sorry M-master Reg,' stuttered Kreacher, slipping his hand out of the bone crushing grip. He stumbled a little on the rocks with his bare feet but managed to hold on. The wind was strong and the air was piercing cold, like daggers.

'Are you alright Kreacher? Here—' with a wave of his wand Kreacher's feet were covered with miniature shoes and his body covered with a very small but snug thick cloak.

'Thank you Master Reg,' breathed Kreacher, bowing his head.

'Lead the way,' Regulus ordered. They ploughed through the shivering and deep waves, with unfathomable depth and striking cold water. They sat on the ground for a moment, gasping for air at how hard it had been breathe whilst swimming.

It took half an hour to force themselves through the battering wind and toward the cave entrance. Walking carefully and slowly along the sides of the cave where in the dim wand light, Regulus could make out a few stark white bodies on the surface. He shivered, and not from the cold. The entrance to the cave felt like it went on for miles when Kreacher collided with the rock wall and fell back but he was saved by Regulus's quick Quidditch reflexes. Regulus hadn't been best Slytherin seeker in three decades for nothing.

'What now?' whispered Regulus, looking down at the bodies in the water hastily. He shone the wand light back to the rock wall that looked almost black.

'It needs blood to open ... use Kreacher's blood,' Kreacher volunteered but was cut off by the fierce shake of Regulus's handsome head.

'No, _never ... _I wouldn't use you Kreacher. You've done more than enough. I'll do it—'

Before the house elf could protest, Regulus brought down his wand on his right hand which split open. He winced but pressed his palm to the rock which crumbled away after a few moments.

'Master Regulus, you didn't have to do that. You's so kind, so strong, so _brave._'

'Thank you Kreacher, I'm grateful for your praise ... now, where is this boat you were talking about?'

Kreacher looked around like he was finding his bearings for several minutes when finally he turned around to the black water and touched the air where something was supposed to be. 'The Dark Lord made a chain appear,' Kreacher said after a moment. 'Right here.'

Regulus waved his wand but nothing happened. He concentrated hard on the task, picturing an enormous chain, rippling silver like waves in moonlight. Connected to the rippling chain would be a boat, dark and small and round.

Regulus grunted but heard the shackles shake and wrenched the chain that had suddenly slid into his hands forward. Rising from the water was a boat, a very small boat but enough for Regulus and Kreacher to fit together. When they were inside together, without any command, the boat crept forward, as silent as a hunting panther.

'What exactly is this island?'

Kreacher was silent for a moment, and Regulus thought maybe he hadn't heard. But Kreacher pointed forward. There were bodies in the water, but that wasn't what he was pointing at. The island (if you could call it an island) was about the size of Grimmauld Place's drawing room. It was flat with only a basin sitting on it. There was a faint green glow emitting from it.

'That's where the horcrux is?' breathed Regulus, leaning forward. The boat slowed like it had a mind of its own, and ploughed through the dead bodies rising to the surface. Like they could smell fresh meat, like they could already taste it, more bodies were rising to the surface. They were still immobile but closer than before.

With a lurch the boat stopped, hitting the edge of the small flat island. Kreacher got out first, attempting to help Regulus whose body was so stiff with fear and whose mouth was dry and trembling in anticipation.

'Are you alright?' whispered Kreacher.

Regulus shook his head. 'No Kreacher, I'm not. But let us finish this now.' His voice maintained its usual level of articulation and its evenness but inside he was pleading with his brain.

_Go back now Regulus; go back now whilst you can. Dear God, you need to run Reg._

_RUN RUN RUN RUN._

_You don't need to do this. YOU DON'T NEED TO DO THIS._

_RUN RUN RUN RUN._

Regulus swallowed but smiled. 'What happened after you arrived Kreach? He just made you drink?'

Kreacher's face was terrified and he started to whimper at the thought of having the drink that vile potion again.

Regulus almost felt his heart drop for the elf. He knelt down so they were almost head to head. 'Oh Kreach, you won't have to drink this. I wouldn't let you. I'll drink it.'

When Kreacher opened his mouth to protest a look from his master silenced him. Reluctantly and rather angrily he nodded.

'Good, because if you take the potion Kreach, then who will take us home?' Regulus asked kindly, patting the large head sitting on a thin neck.

He straightened up and approached the basin. Glittering under the surface was something he couldn't quite see, but he knew it was the locket. Sitting on the actual surface of the opaque but slightly translucent potion was a goblet. A plain silver goblet.

Regulus turned to look at his house elf with wide frightened eyes. 'Does it hurt?'

Kreacher paused but nodded gravely. 'All the worse memories...'

'Keep me drinking—'

'Master—'

'Keep me drinking Kreacher! Keep me drinking the potion till it's all finished! And that's an order!' He snapped angrily, turning his enormous beautiful blue eyes onto the elf.

Kreacher nodded slowly; reluctantly, only a hissed protest escaping his mouth.

And Regulus began. The first goblet full brought back memories of getting hit by his Father but it wasn't too bad. Until his fourth goblet. Then he sunk to the floor with the half empty goblet in his hands and tears in his eyes.

_Being tortured for the first time in his life and trembling with fear. It hurt so badly. No one paid any attention to his screams. No one paid attention to him! No one cared. Who cared? It was just Death Eater preparation. But then taunting from Avery and some of the other Death Eaters ... it was all too much. Regulus took a deep breath and screamed as the curse hit him again. He sounded so much like his brother._

In the background, somewhere behind the grey fog that had appeared in Regulus's eyes, he could see a big head in front of his own, repeating words over and over again.

'Come _on _Master,' the distant voice urged, forcing another goblet full of the potion down his throat. Regulus gasped and tried to scream but no sound would come out.

_Times were dark, and she was half-blood. Surely it wasn't that bad? To fall for a half-blood? But apparently it was. His Mother said to him if she saw the wretched girl again she would kill her, or have her killed. But Regulus was eighteen, he could make decisions himself. Then why had he lied? Why had he said he would stop seeing her? Why had he gone to see her the next day? Why was she now dead. His worst memory, his biggest regret was letting her get killed. Murdered. Her family was murdered, and he honestly didn't know who was to blame. His Mother? His Father? _

_Himself?_

_Regulus sobbed and ignored the tears. Ignored the loud wails that left his mouth. She was dead. His beautiful Amy was dead. She was dead. She was dead. She was dead. _

_And she had been pregnant. And he still had the engagement ring under his pillow._

Regulus started shrieking as loud as he could after his ninth goblet full. The memory of seeing her dead body (an anonymous picture had been sent to him) and the memory of remembering her telling him she was pregnant was too much. He couldn't breathe. Rather roughly, he tried to push Kreacher away.

Why had he been so kind? He should have made Kreacher do this. It was too much. It hurt too much. The memory of learning about her death was so vivid he could still remember the way he had been so close to hitting his Mother.

'Stop!' he moaned. 'I'm so sorry ... _please_ ... A-Amy, I'm so sorry,' he sobbed but choked on his words as another goblet was forced down his mouth. All he could hear were the apologies of his house elf and the sounds of his own sobbing. Once again, as the potion slipped seductively down his throat, flashbacks of that terrible day filled his eyes.

_The picture was disgusting. It was revolting. Of her and her dead family. Her eight year old brother, and twelve year old sister and her Mudblood Mother and pureblood traitor of a Father. They were all dead, and all clothed save Amy and her Mother. They had been raped. And the picture was so disgusting, so heinous that Regulus started punching and kicking everything he could. Even his Father; especially his Father. His shrieks were louder than the bellows of his parents, and he started crying whilst fighting. One of them must have put the Freezing Charm on him because he fell to the floor without being able to move at all; he was immobile. _

_Before him, before his eyes, on the floor also, was the picture. And an inch from his face was Amy's naked, dead body. With the ghost of a scream on her face. _

Fourteen goblet down and Regulus was begging for Death. He was begging for someone to take the pain away. 'Last goblet Master! Kreacher can see the locket! Last goblet!'

With a shudder, Regulus swallowed all of it. The grey fog before his eyes faded, and his face grew harder, his expression turned to stone. Regulus's face felt wet but it was just the tears. The tears that were still falling. The echo of his last scream finally faded and all that could be heard were the pants from Regulus as he gasped for breath. Never in his life had he been so pained. And it wasn't physical pain, it was mental. And those sort of memories ached long after the pain had subsided.

Her dead body on the floor, naked and bruised and used.

'Put the locket on Kreacher, keep it safe,' said the monotonous voice of Regulus, still slumped over on the basin, the avalanche of tears coming from his eyes still going on.

Kreacher looked up hesitantly but obeyed. He wrapped the locket around his neck twice because it was too big. Regulus managed to drag his wand over to the locket and whisper, 'Gemini!'

A copy of the locket fell to the floor, with all its shining glory and strong exterior. Regulus opened it but there was nothing inside. This meant inside the real one, there was nothing also. Damn. And he had hoped there might be a clue. He folded the note written for the Dark Lord if he ever returned here for the locket, and slipped it inside.

_To the Dark Lord,_

_I know I will be dead long before you read this but I want you to know that it was I who discovered your secret.  
>I have also stolen the real Horcrux and intend to destroy it as soon as I can.<br>I face death in the hope that when you meet your match, you will be mortal once more._

_R.A.B._

Shakily, he put it back in the basin and waved his wand; casting spells to use the few drops left of the potion and produce more. Regulus watched as the liquid soon covered the locket and filled back to the brim of the basin.

As soon as his task was done, he realised just how thirsty he was. Regulus gasped at the grating feeling in his throat and the pounding in his head. 'Water, get me water,' he pleaded to Kreacher.

Kreacher looked over at the edge and whimpered. 'But the inferi—'

'Kreacher _please_ just...' Regulus couldn't talk anymore. His throat had dried up. He started coughing until a goblet with water was pressed against his lips. He gulped it down in less than a second. His house elf hurried forward to the edge bringing back another glass of water and Regulus swallowed it all, some slopping down his front.

Kreacher was in the process of getting more when a hand shot up, clutching the small elf. Regulus roared and even though his energy was so low, he managed to shoot some fire at the body emerging. Kreacher fell backwards but crawled so he was besides Regulus.

So many bodies were emerging, with their hungry faces and scowls. They looked much like zombies. Regulus shot a ring of fire and half of the inferi solders fell backwards, but they kept on crawling towards where the elf and the wizard were huddled.

Regulus already knew what was going to happen. His stamina was already faltering and soon his strength would flounder. He was dead either way. He knew this was had been coming. He was going to die. He just knew.

The inferi were groaning and shrieking, and Kreacher was screaming. 'MASTER! MASTER! MASTER AND KREACHER NEED TO GO!' but an inferi soldier had managed to evade the fire and was clutching at Regulus's robe.

Kreacher tried to help but he was too weak, too weak with fright and tears and more inferi were surrounding him.

The small elf started sobbing. 'Master, Master please!'

Regulus felt his eyes closing, but he could also see the inferi closing in on him and Kreacher. There was already one trying to drag him down into the endless water.

'KREACHER! KREACHER GO! GET OUT OF HERE NOW! TAKE THE LOCKET AND GO! DESTROY IT! PROMISE ME YOU'LL DESTROY IT? PROMISE ME YOU'LL TRY?' his voice was hoarse and he needed water to drink. But in mere moments he knew he would have enough water to quench his thirst for a lifetime.

'M-MASTER P-P-PLEASE!' cried Kreacher, using his magic to try and expel the gaining inferi.

Regulus's startling blue eyes met Kreacher's dull ones. 'Go; don't tell anyone what has happened! Take the locket and _go_!'

And with a sob the house elf disapparated, leaving Regulus alone with the hundreds of moving bodies gaining on him. He wasn't scared when he had expected to feel that way. He was just sad. Sad that he would never get to be the one to destroy the locket. But then again he was the reason it would be destroyed.

Regulus had been guilty of associating with dark wizards and Death Eaters ever since he fell for his Amy, but when she had died he hadn't been brave enough to leave the Death Eaters and the Dark Lord and go. He had been scared and foolish and too proud. But now he was, in a way, avenging her. He was telling her he loved her by this act. By joining her in death. By binding them together forever, the way he had always wanted it to be.

When his body was plunged into the freezing water, Regulus held her in his mind as a beacon. And soon, the thoughts started fading. His body felt like it was on fire and his lungs were screaming for oxygen. But nothing was coming. Regulus tried to make for the surface in a fit of blinding pain but the inferi wouldn't let him wander from their grip. He was going to die. He had to except it.

Amy's beautiful face slipped from his mind, he couldn't see her. All he could see were her eyes, her dark blue eyes. Her piercing dark blue eyes.

'Amy,' he thought, 'Amy I love you. I love you and the baby. This is for you and the baby.'

And through the darkness of death, Regulus could see the light. He could see Amy. He could see the light. As his numb fingers released the wand in his hands, he stretched out his hand to take hers and join her in the light.

_o _

Albus didn't know what to make of the story. Was it peculiar that it had made him sad? Was it weird that there were tears in his eyes and on his cheeks? Was it strange that the story only made him wish he had tried harder for Regulus?

The boy had done it. The boy was the reason they would win. Voldemort only had one horcrux (Albus couldn't imagine him making another one, though it was possible and shouldn't be overlooked) and the key to it was in the hands of the elf sitting before him. The sobbing elf.

'Kreacher?' Albus whispered after fifteen minutes of silence.

Kreacher looked up. 'It was sad. He deserved to live. _Sirius _should have died.'

Albus handed a box of tissues to Kreacher who took several and blew his nose and wiped his eyes. 'I am sorry Kreacher, truly, I am. He had saved the world. He is the reason this world will live. Because of his love for Amy.'

Albus remembered Amy, the same year as Regulus. She was a shy girl in Ravenclaw. Her death and her family's deaths had been a Wizarding shock. The whole country had mourned for her and plaques were put up in dedication. But it wasn't enough. Only Regulus had really made a difference. And the unborn child that had been killed alongside her? Well it made Albus feel sick.

'Do you still have the locket?' Albus asked gently.

Kreacher nodded. 'Kreacher has failed him! It won't break, it's not breaking! Kreacher has tried everything Master Dumbledore! But _NOTHING_ works! Kreacher has failed Master Regulus and all he asked for was the destruction of the locket.'

'Give me the locket Kreacher—'

'NO!' cried the elf, getting up and backing away. 'No! He asked _Kreacher _to destroy it. He didn't want anyone else. Otherwise he would have asked Kreacher to give it to you!'

Albus stood up. He didn't want to have to use force, and he wasn't going to if he could help it. But he needed the locket. 'What have you heard of me? Not from the Blacks but from the WWN and in books and in newspapers?'

Kreacher seemed shocked at the question. He paused and hesitated before opening his small mouth. 'You are the greatest wizard. You are the only hopes of the Dark Lord losing. You will win.' Kreacher whispered.

'I have no intention of hiding or handing back the horcrux. _I want to destroy it Kreacher!_ I promise to destroy it! You will be the reason Regulus never died in vain, you will be the reason that he has saved the world.'

Kreacher's bottom lip quivered a little but he slowly nodded. 'Kreacher doesn't have it now.'

Albus smiled and handed the elf another tissue. 'It doesn't matter Kreacher. I can get it another time. But be proud of yourself. Be proud of Regulus. Be proud.'

_xo _

Lord Voldemort looked up tiredly and expectantly when the door opened. And in entered Severus Snape, who looked grave and exhausted and worried. He bowed in front of his Dark Lord.

'Well?' asked Lord Voldemort impatiently. 'What have you found out?'

Severus shook his head. 'Nothing my Lord. I have scoured thirty books all in regards to cursed marks, or Basilisk Venom and it says nothing about what happens if the bearer of a cursed mark refuses to accept it or to acknowledge it, or abide by it.'

Lord Voldemort swung around in his chair to glance back through the looking glass. He could see Sirius slouched in the manacles whispering things to himself and occasionally smiling or laughing. It infuriated the Dark Lord.

'What shall we do my Lord?' asked Severus hesitantly.

Lord Voldemort continued staring through the glass, a scowl on his face when he heard that tinkering and husky laugh once again. He stood up, and the two Death Eaters who were sitting silently behind him (Nott and Dolohov) stood up also.

'Well, we shall invite the rest of the Death Eaters to watch as I administer the venom a final time.'

The Death Eaters argued and elbowed each other for the best seats in the house. By that, Sirius meant that there were about twenty of them fighting over who got to stand closest to the show. Sirius knew that this was the final administration. And then he would be a Death Eater. Or rather, he would bear the mark all Death Eaters bore.

He didn't want to be a Death Eater but fighting against the chains was useless. Sirius stared bravely at Bellatrix, who was right besides him and holding his head or occasionally running a finger through his filthy hair.

'How are you feeling? You're near the end of the initiation. The final steps to becoming a Death Eater.' Her eyes were shining with excitement.

'So, let me get this straight,' he replied in an even quieter voice. 'You're a Death Eater regardless of what you believe? As long as you have some diluted Basilisk Venom in your arm? Wow, I didn't know it was that easy. I thought maybe it would be a little more exclusive.'

Bellatrix's grin morphed into a scowl but just as she was about to say something Lord Voldemort entered the room. In his hand was a syringe with shiny thick black venom inside. Sirius started breathing calmly in and out. It was just pain. Pain hurt. But it was just pain. Pain went. Just pain.

'Welcome, my dear followers, to an event. I have called it "the Black sheep coming home."'

Everyone chuckled and cheered at the witty comment from their master. More than once Sirius had been called a black sheep. He gritted his teeth much to the satisfaction of Voldemort. Once, even Alphard had called him a black sheep. But at Sirius's frown he amended it; he from then on called Sirius the white sheep of the Black family.

'The final administration of the venom and then he will be a Death Eater. Correct, Sirius?'

Sirius looked around at each of the faces, trying to memorise some of the unfamiliar ones. When he got out, he would make sure all these sons of bitches were in Azkaban. Or dead. Either way, they were screwed in his eyes.

'Yes, yes. I'll be becoming a Death Eater tonight. Will that mean I can get out of the chains?'

The Death Eaters booed and cried rude words but it was easy to block out, he already had so much on his mind. Like expecting the pain that was soon to come.

'Of course you'll be coming out of those chains ... But only if you tell me where James and Lily Potter are. If you tell me where your godson is.'

Sirius pretended to deliberate. 'No thanks, I'd rather them stay alive, you see.'

Lord Voldemort's eyes flickered with anger and fury. He smiled though but it didn't meet his eyes. 'Very well Sirius, you'll become a Death Eater but without the added benefits of actually being able to do what Death Eaters do.'

Sirius sighed and straightened up in his chains. Blood from weeks ago was still on his body, and his hair was still so filthy.

'Ah well, thanks for the offer though.'

'Yes. Little did I tell you but that was the last offer I was willing to give you. And now only the secret is protecting your pitiful life. You will tell me where your family is, your f_ake family_ and then I will kill you with a smile on my face. I will kill you slowly. After I get the secret, you are dead.'

Sirius raised an eyebrow, smirking arrogantly and bitterly. 'Might as well kill me now then.'

Voldemort threw his head back and chuckled coldly. It gave Sirius shivers, and the hair on his neck stood up. 'But then the secret would die as well. And who knows which pathetic wizard they might use next?'

Sirius sighed. He closed his eyes when he felt a finger smooth the mark on his arm softly, for the skin was still tender. The Dark Mark. The final administration. And then he would have lost.

Sure, he could come out of Malfoy Manor with a triumphant smile and relief seeping into his body at having held out on Voldemort. But that didn't matter. Because Voldemort would always be with him. For the rest of his life he would see the man's gift burning on his pale forearm.

'Tell me Sirius, are you looking forward to becoming a Death Eater? Your brother was ever so excited.' Lord Voldemort's eyes flashed red.

'Just get it over with,' he whispered. The room was filled with loud laughs and chuckles. Sirius looked up to see Snape's eyes boring into his own.

'Very well Sirius Black. Welcome to the club.'

There were cheers and screams and people started clapping. But all the noise was drowned out by the pain Sirius felt. The pain of the diluted Basilisk Venom seeping through his veins slowly; at a gradual and torturous pace . And it hurt knowing that this mark would stay forever. He gritted his teeth but couldn't help whimpers escape his mouth every few seconds.

Sirius closed his eyes and started grunting, shaking his head. He felt an arm keep his head still, and he could hear Bella's laugh in his ear.

It felt like twenty minutes when in actual fact it was maybe three or four. The Dark Lord stepped back so everyone could see the finished result. But they were silent. Lord Voldemort was silent. Silent as night. And he was only ever silent during shock.

The Dark Mark wasn't black like it was supposed to be. It wasn't black like Sirius's hair, or like Snape's eyes.

It was red. It was dark red. And when Voldemort pressed his finger to his own mark after a moment's hesitation (he didn't want the others thinking it was a mistake, that the mark was wrong) Sirius's shone scarlet. But what was more peculiar was that when Voldemort pressed his own Dark Mark (the controlling Dark Mark, the dominant Dark Mark) he could feel pain when he wasn't supposed too.

Lord Voldemort's eyes widened in shock, and with Sirius, he threw his head back and screamed.

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><p><em>AN: Tell me if you enjoyed this chapter, and found Regulus's POV and his background interesting or not, and most of all about Kreacher's dialogue and whether it was written well, I'm still a little confused about the whole third-person thing._

_Leave a review, I'd be ever so grateful, considering how long this is - this might even be my longest chapter so far. Anyway thanks for reading, and reviewing/alerting/favouriting, you guys are awesome!_

_xo_


	20. If it Hurts to Breathe

_Disclaimer; I do not own Harry Potter. Just the characters you don't recognise and the plot. This is dedicated to all you awesome reviewers, who make me smile :) Enjoy! _

* * *

><p><em>xoxo<em>

_20. If it Hurts to Breathe_

Sirius roared out; his arm was throbbing. Lord Voldemort had taken it as a personal experiment to try and find out what had happened to Sirius's new Dark Mark. But after countless times of pressing his own superior Dark Mark, Voldemort still felt pain when he knew he shouldn't. And it scared him an awful lot; _what had he done?_

The pain was throbbing and screaming in his own forearm, unlike any pain that even the Death Eaters felt – for they experienced only a sharp sting ... but _this _felt like the Cruciatus Curse. Voldemort growled and pressed it again, grunting in unison with Sirius moments later.

Sirius started laughing when the pain faded. He chuckled hard and loud as he looked up courageously into Voldemort's red eyes. 'Does it hurt Voldemort? Does it hurt you like it hurts me?'

The Dark Lord whipped out his wand and cast the Cruciatus Curse. When Sirius's sharp and loud screams faded, his soft tinkering laughter followed Voldemort out of the room. And like a ghost it followed Voldemort all the way until he was out of the Manor. In fact that tinkering, infuriating laugh was even on Voldemort's mind when he was miles away from Black.

The door slammed shut and Sirius rested back in his chains, pressing his body against the wall for some stability. He hadn't eaten in two days – since the Dark Mark's third instalment – and it was taking a toll on his body. But he gritted his teeth and breathed in deeply through another ominous growl from his starving stomach.

He looked down at the scarlet red mark dancing on his forearm. Sirius himself didn't know what the hell had happened. He wasn't even sure if he wanted to know. But this was good. He was beating Voldemort. Now he just needed to escape and use this victory for his own personal gain.

Sirius crouched down so his face was as close to his forearm as it could be. He smiled down at the Dark Mark. This was his ticket out of here.

He wasn't even sure how it would help him but he knew it would. Only something so good would make Voldemort so mad.

_xo _

James hadn't spoken to Rose since the night before; since he told her he hated her. He did hate her. Not as strongly or as wholly as he made out, but this girl, this awful girl was the reason that everything was going wrong.

James stroked Lily's hair whilst she told him a rather amusing story about Vernon Dursley, his brother-in-law. James remembered the time when Sirius had pretended to wretch when he realised that James and Dursley would be related.

His thoughts had been wandering to Sirius a lot lately, not that his adopted brother wasn't always in his thoughts, but ever since Rose had slept with some Muggle stranger from a club James couldn't help but feel like he had let down his friend.

James was also thinking a lot about Remus, his dear friend. His dear friend who had appeared on the WWN for only a few brief minutes. But the sound of Moony's voice was so reassuring and familiar that James had laughed and grinned whilst listening to it. He could hear the sarcastic tone to it and the way his tone would change when he mentioned monsters like werewolves and vampires, it was almost like Remus was trying hard not to laugh.

He had also been listening to Alastor Moody telling the whole of Britain that up until February they were going to do nothing but train two new classes of Aurors. A bunch of lies of course. James knew they were up to something, he wasn't sure what exactly but he knew it was something big.

And so when Lily had been having a shower earlier that morning he snuck out under his old cloak and sent a letter using Muggle post with a fake address to Remus. He definitely did not expect a reply but he didn't really need one.

James had already guessed what the Order and the Aurors were going to do. They were going to try and rescue Sirius. And he wanted to be there, he wanted to be the first person his friend saw.

Of course it was impossible for him to be allowed to go on any missions when he was hiding for his life. They wouldn't let him, none of them would let him step even a foot out of this house. They wouldn't recognise how important it was that he be the first person his friend saw.

James had also sent a letter to Peter, wherever his friend was. Only he put the letter for Peter inside the envelope where Remus's letter was. He begged his werewolf friend to send it for him, send it but not read it. James didn't have any worry though. Remus wasn't the sort of person who liked to pry in other people's business. That was reserved for the handsome and more reckless Marauder.

But James's thinking and Lily's story-telling was interrupted by a howling cry. It was SJ of course. Poor boy was probably being ignored. And now James came to think of it, he hadn't seen his baby nephew since the fight him and Rose got in.

James hastily pecked Lily's forehead and stood up. 'I'm going to have "The Chat" with Rose.'

Lily laughed as she cuddled up more into the sofa. 'Wait! "The Chat" as in making her realise how horrible and selfish she's been?' Lily asked, running a hand through her scarlet hair with a grin on her face.

James nodded. 'She hasn't spoken to us, and she's not even bringing down young-Paddy. This is getting absurd.'

It felt like walking down a long hall and at the end was a Juror and his officials ready to judge him for some heinous crime of the likes. It was intimidating, knocking on Rose's door. He didn't hear anything except the cry coming from Sirius James. Slowly, he opened the door.

The windows were wide open despite the fact that it was half way through December and extremely cold. In fact it had snowed very gently this morning, so gently that from the window it appeared to be frost. But it was definitely snow; Harry had confirmed it for him.

Rose was in her light blue nightie. She was sitting on the floor with her back to James, a cascade of long golden loops and curls falling down her back and pooling around her on the floor. Her head was bowed over; she must have been looking at something.

Even when James called her she ignored him. He turned to his left to see SJ hollering in his crib, but the child stopped when James crept into view. He lifted the small baby and cradled him tenderly, pressing soft kisses on his head and cheek and nose. He couldn't get enough of his silky smooth skin.

'It's okay Padster, it's okay,' he crooned, turning back to Rose, who was now sniffing. James moved forwards; reluctantly and at a snail's pace. 'Taten?' his voice was hard and her surname uttered from James's lips came across bitter.

When he was close enough to see her face he could also see the photo album in her hands. He had seen the pictures in the album so many times before. Of love, and her, and Sirius in Paris. And it made James so happy to see his best friend, his brother, so utterly in love and consumed in the city of romance with the woman that was the reason for his happiness and his love.

The picture Rose was looking at intently was one of her and Sirius sitting around a small table on a posh balcony with the large gibbous moon beaming down at them in the open frosty air.

Sirius was wearing a black tux with a handsome grin on his face as he looked from the camera to Rose and their entwined hands whereas Rose kept her gaze firmly down, a blush spouting her cheeks and her infamous radiant smile permanently etched on her face. Rose was not a modest girl but she looked so innocent here James almost felt guilty.

There were tears still dropping on the already wet photograph, and James didn't want it ruined so he took it from her grasp and set it on the windowsill to dry.

'You need to feed your son,' his voice was cold and detached.

She glanced up for the first time since his entrance and looked almost surprised. The corner of her mouth tilted upwards and she tilted her heart shaped face. She stared at him.

'Okay.' She took the baby and lowered her top. James couldn't bring himself to look away as she pulled out one of her breasts only to return it back into her lacy bra. 'That was the pierced one,' she explained quietly, pulling out her other breast and pressing it to her son's open mouth who immediately started suckling.

She winced a little but hummed; sombrely James might add. He stood there awkwardly.

'Are you just going to stand there and watch me breastfeed? Surely there's another reason you came ... another reason you're in a room with_ someone you really hate_.' She spat the last four words, turning her face from James and frowning deeply.

He sighed and sat down on her small bed, the bed Sirius had lounged on for a bit before the Fidelius Charm was cast. James remembered that day so vividly he was still slightly shocked at how perfectly everything turned out. He remembered being half out of his mind, worried that Voldemort would burst in before the charm was cast.

'I want to talk to you.'

She scowled, her face contorting with hatred. 'But you said you hate me? Guess what though? I hate you too! I really honestly do, only it took me till yesterday to realise. I hate you for breaking my heart so many _times_ and for marrying Lily and distracting me when I was so deep under for Sirius. I _hate_ you.'

James swallowed and looked out of the open window. It was lunchtime and the skies were pale grey with swirls of darker grey. There was a cluster of branches poking in his view and a bird sitting on the closest branch. The bird looked lonely. James hoped the bird found another bird. There was nothing more horrible than being lonely. And being lonely in a _war_ ... well that was just cruel.

'I'm glad you hate me, it'll make what I'm about to tell you so much easier.' His voice had regained the stoic and cold chill it had when he first entered the room.

'And what's that James?'

'You want to act like a little girl Rose, so I'll treat you like one. You aren't allowed out of the house. Whenever you want food me or Lily will bring it to you to eat in your room. You have to be in your room at half ten every night. No exceptions, yes Rose, you can't go toilet or have a shower after half ten.'

Rose's eyes widened as she fervently turned to face James almost whacking her son's head against the wall. 'You're joking ... James, you _are _joking. Tell me you're ... what the hell am I supposed to do? What do you think I am? I'm not some dog!'

Her voice had taken a hysterical note and her face was contorting into an angry glower.

James smiled a little; a cruel smile that was as well known as his kind smiles. 'But I think you are a dog ... I think you're a dirty _bitch_. You certainly act like one.'

Rose's lip trembled. And this time, the contortion of her face wasn't in anger but in devastation. 'Don't say that. Don't say things like that to me.' She whispered.

'But it's true Rose, everything I'm saying is true. You keep doing these things and I wouldn't care if it was just your life on the line, I'm past worrying for you when you're adamant on messing up. But my beautiful wife and my son and _your _son are at stake if you carry on like this. And I'd rather die then watch you burn them all—'

'James, don't be like this—' But she stopped talking abruptly when he reached over to pluck her son from her limp arms. He looked at her son and grinned, kissing SJ on the forehead.

'I feel like taking you for a walk downstairs ... d'you want to see the garden? D'you want to say hello to Harry and Lily? Come on then Padster...'

Rose's plain green eyes started streaming with tears and she was still shaking her head. 'James, James please, don't do this—'

He was out of the room now with his head peeping through the crack in the door. 'Bye Rosie,' he laughed aloud, slamming the door and whispering a Locking Charm. Only he would be able to open it. So really, she was screwed. He cradled SJ tight to his body as he hurried down the stairs, entering the living room.

Lily looked up at the baby and around to see where the Mother was. Then her smile morphed into a slight and small and barely existent one. She opened her arms up for Sirius James and nuzzled him when she got him.

'D'you want Uncle Jamie to give you a tour of the garden?' she asked the small baby looking down at his semi closed silver eyes. Expecting a smile she was rewarded with the slightest of sneezes.

Her and James looked up at each other and grinned widely. This was a moment to remember, this was a moment she would remember for life.

And so would James who had come to love the baby almost as much as his own. James plucked the boy back from Lily and with the other hand, clasped Harry's.

'How about I show my two favourite boys some hiding places I've discovered in the garden.'

_xo _

Remus looked at the map. How on earth had Moody come by it? The map was detailed, and also showed underground tunnels around the Malfoy Manor. It was exactly nine days before they went to rescue Sirius. And they had Carrows to help them, he was like putty in their hands.

Surrounding Remus were the Prewett twins, Frank Longbottom and a few other Order members. They were supposed to be coming up with a plan because Dumbledore and Moody had decided that the party who would go and save Sirius could not come in with the battling party to the manor. And so they were trying to find a way, any possible way that they could sneak past the Death Eaters and get into the manor.

However it was proving harder than they had thought it would be. 'What about this route?' asked Emmeline Vance.

'The underground? That's dangerous...'

Tossing her hair back, she drew the route with her finger. 'A little ... well no, look, we go through the underground tunnel to the back garden. From there we proceed into the house. The main battle will be commencing at the front of the house, right? But there will still obviously be some of Death Eaters keeping guard. We'll need maybe six or seven of us to keep them at bay whilst another two or three enter the house and try and find Black.'

Remus considered; pictured and mapped it out in his mind. And it actually didn't sound bad at all.

'That sounds like it could work,' replied Remus. 'But we need to ask Moody, he'll probably have something to say about it. Like he usually does.' Remus added, a smirk on his face.

When Moody came over, he gruffly praised Vance and said that it was an alright idea, but he corrected some mistakes and chose the group he'd put through the tunnels to try and get Sirius.

Moody's eyes flickered over Remus. 'Awr, fine Lupin, you can go too. But no long reunions with Black; grab the prick and get him out of there.'

Remus grinned and nodded. Of course. He wouldn't waste time giving his best friend a big hug and a hard punch and a long lecture. He'd save that for later. Remus nodded once more. 'Of course, I'll save that for later,'

Fabian clapped Remus on the back. 'Shame you aren't fighting with us, we could use your wolfie reflexes.'

It was weird. Remus had realised when he first joined the Order that none of them cared whether he was a werewolf or not. After all, many of them had to know why he was going on missions to speak to werewolf clans. Many were weary but they didn't seem to have a personal problem with him.

Maybe Dumbledore was right; maybe Remus could show the world how normal werewolves could be. How _human _they could be if they were just given the same opportunity as he was given; an education, a family, friends.

'My wolfie reflexes will be needed elsewhere Fabian, sorry to disappoint.'

'He's right, we need to choose some of the strongest fighters to get Black. And Lupin and Longbottom are gonna be the only Order members; we'll have to use as many Aurors as we can. Not that I don't trust the Order with getting Black, but we can't have them fighting in two places when there are less of them to spare.' Moody explained.

He was right. The whole nation was under the pretence that the Auror office would be working vigorously in training new Aurors. This wouldn't exactly trick Voldemort, but they hoped that it would maybe wane his cautiousness. Because this fight wasn't one they were looking forward to (save the Prewett twins) but instead, it was one that they all knew would end badly.

'We need to try and round up as many Death Eaters as we can though,' Moody called out so everyone would hear him, not just the group he was standing with. 'Capture if possible, kill if necessary. That's the motto guys.'

Everyone nodded and called out in understanding. But they were silent when Moody clapped his hands for attention. 'But this is one thing we have to do, we need to get Sirius Black. We need to rescue that sonuvabitch and we need to do it before it's too late!'

_xo_

Rose burst into the living room, a cut on her arm and bits of twig in her messy long hair. She was dressed casually, if not a little trampy. Her eyes were streaked with tears and her knotted hair was tied into an enormous plait.

Lily was so shocked she almost burnt herself with the cup of tea she was holding. 'Where the hell did you come from? What the hell are you doing?' Lily all but cried.

Rose looked around; her face was deranged and her eyes were almost white. She looked feral and Lily felt scared.

'Climbed from my window to yours. Where's my son?' she demanded, looking around again frantically.

Lily stood up and pulled out her wand. 'What are you doing Taten?'

'WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE?' she cried hysterically, dumping her suitcase on the floor and running out of the room. But he wasn't in the small dining room and not in the kitchen. Lily followed her, trying to reason with Rose.

'Calm down Taten, calm down and I'll make you a cup—'

'I DON'T WANT A FUCKING CUP OF TEA! I JUST WANT MY SON!' Rose roared, and then she heard tinkering childlike laughter and James's chuckles. She looked out of the window to see him and Harry kicking a ball to and fro, and her son nestled safely in James's arms.

Rose was about to wrench the door open when Lily's vice-grip tightened around her wrist. She turned around to face the red haired woman with a hateful expression.

'Let go,' an ominous snarl slipped out her mouth.

'Why do you _want_ to go?' Lily's voice sounded like a plea, but Rose didn't care. She wasn't going to stay in a house where she felt alone and hated.

'I'm not staying here Evans... get that through your damn head! I'm not staying here in such a hostile, horrible place!'

Lily sighed but didn't release her grip. 'What did he do? What did James do?'

'How could you love him? _How_ ... when he's this horrible —'

'What did he do?'

Rose snatched her wrist back and soothed it tenderly. 'I don't need to explain myself to you Evans,' and when Lily tried to restrain her again, Rose threw her backwards, wrenching the kitchen door open and all but sprinting to the end of the garden.

James felt like he saw a ghost. A ghost of one of his dead parents or something. How the hell had she gotten out?

James plastered a laugh on his face and cocked a head to the side. 'What Rose? Did your piteous magic finally count for something?' his shaky voice called from a few metres ahead, snickering when her face contorted with anger.

'I climbed down you fucking arsehole! Give me my son—'

'James don't! James don't give her SJ – she's trying to leave!' Lily shouted from the kitchen back door, a wand in her hand and aimed at Rose.

James's face fell and it became one of disbelief. 'No, no, you can't be serious. You can't actually be serious.'

Rose shook her head. 'I want to keep my mind, I want to have fun James, I want to feel like I belong here, but I-I f-feel...' She stopped talking and started stuttering with fat heavy tears falling from her eyes. Her whole body was trembling and she was stumbling forward, tripping over uneven grass and balls lying around.

'Shh, Rosie, don't cry,' James's voice became so kind and warm she almost fell for it. Almost.

'NO! NO! DON'T SPEAK TO ME LIKE EVERYTHING IS FINE, LIKE IT'S ALL IS NORMAL! IT'S NOT!'

Her sudden outburst scared him, and he pushed Harry gently from in front of him to behind him. Rose was a bit like Sirius in that when her anger kicked in she became uncontrollable and did things she regretted terribly afterwards.

James had often said sometimes when they were together and both angry at each other, they were an awful match. They really were. There was this one time when Sirius had cheated on Rose. Just after they planned to go Ireland for a month, just to see what it was like there. It was rather beautiful, the little house the couple had in mind.

Rose had literally beaten the fuck out of the girl he'd slept with only to get a knife pulled out on her, what with Muggles and their tendencies of carrying weapons. Sirius had sorted the whole mess out using Memory Charms and his natural charm.

But it didn't matter because Rose was still mad at him. They got in an enormous fight in the Potter Manor drawing room. Rose had kicked and punched and slapped and spat at Sirius, who ended up pushing her so hard away from him she fell and sprained her arm.

But both of them didn't even notice; their uncontrollable anger resorted in explosive magic and the windows had broken, the walls had cracked and the furniture erupted in flames. James had literally been quite scared for Rose's life, what with her testing Sirius and hitting him – something he hated. He wouldn't mind being cursed or hexed, but being hit reminded him of when he was a kid, beaten with canes and dumped in the cellar with a few Boggarts.

'I'm sorry Rose,' James said softly, subconsciously cuddling the small baby boy to him.

'NO YOU'RE NOT!' she cried, her trembling hands clasping the wand tightly and closing her eyes. 'You're not sorry! You just want my son, you just want to feel like you're doing something for Sirius when you're the reason he will _die_.'

James stared at her, feeling a film cover his eyes, a transparent and damp film. He swallowed and shook his head. 'I-I ... I know Rose; I know if he dies it'll be my fault. B-but what do you want me to do about it?'

He looked down at her, so much shorter and smaller than him. Her face was bright red and she looked slightly deranged. But she was still _his _Rose.

'I-I w-want...' She stopped talking and for moments, focused on her breathing. 'I w-want you to treat me like h-h-how Sirius would treat me. I w-want you to _stop _being so horrible. It's me Ja-James, I'm not some s-stranger y-you've just m-met.' She finally managed to say.

James looked up at Lily, all the way at the door, with her wand lowered and almost a bored expression on her face. He nodded once at her and she clapped her hands, calling for Harry. Harry stumbled through the garden (still weary on his feet) and straight into the open arms of Lily.

She smiled at James a little worriedly but entered the house, closing the back door behind her.

James moved SJ in his arms carefully and stepped closer to Rose. There was still a little bit of space between them, but he could now see the small details of her face he had missed.

Like the way her golden freckles were fading, the ones she had acquired during her stay in Australia. Small details like how her lips were more pink than scarlet, they used to be so scarlet. Like the uneasiness of her breathing. Like the innocence in her gaze, when she was anything but innocent.

James felt his heart swell despite his furious attempts to stop those feelings he had once felt for her grow. But what did he expect. What should he expect? She was back here, after months of not seeing her, with an even better body and a more beautiful face. It hurt to even think of her like this but she was all James could think of right now.

The drumming of his heart didn't help as well. It hurt to breathe. It hurt him to breathe.

'I can't treat you how Sirius would treat you,' he breathed, stepping closer, so close that he could smell her fragrance.

'Why?'

James swallowed and lifted a hand to gently touch her chin briefly before dropping his hand. He couldn't do this. But he touched her face again despite himself, her skin was so soft. 'Sirius would kiss you and tell you how much he loves you.'

Closing her eyes, she moved her face into his palm to savour the feeling of his calloused hand on her cheek. 'You can still do that, you can kiss me, you still love me,'

James gritted his teeth and tried to stop from crying out in pain. Dear God, this hurt so much. He felt so bad, he felt so wrong. 'I-I hate h-how much I l-love you.'

She fluttered her eyes open in shock. Rose had beautiful eyes. Not the plain irises that looked back at him, but the unconcealed emotions behind the surface, and the long light lashes and the pale lavender lids. 'Y-you do?'

'Of course I do,' he whispered, still caressing her face, the way old lovers do. 'You were my first real love. Sure, I fancied Lily since fourth year but you were my first love, my first time, I'm not going to forget that. Just like I'm not going to forget my first kiss, my first girlfriend. I'm not going to forget you '

'Why won't you kiss me then? Why won't you tell me you love me more often? Why won't you show me?' There was honest curiosity behind the question; she wasn't asking it to be annoying or to tease. She really did want to know why James didn't tell her this before.

He opened his mouth but nothing would come out. He looked down at the baby in his arms. The image of his best friend. 'Because ... because I love Sirius more than I love you Rose, he's my _brother_.' James whispered. 'And I've got the most amazing family inside that house, a family I've dreamed of for so long. I love you Rose, of course I do, I love you so much but I love my family more.'

She tilted her head, a few tears spilling over her cheeks and onto James's hand. 'Then I should go. I need to go. I'm not doing either of us a favour. Being here isn't helping anyone.'

James shook his head. 'Yes it is; you're protected here by the love of Sirius, by the fidelity of Sirius. Don't go Rose, you need to stay. If not for yourself then for your son, your beautiful son.'

They both looked down at the rather quiet baby in James's arms, with large peering eyes and red full lips. Rose thought hard for a moment. She thought as hard as she could.

'What if I never pull a stunt like that again?' she asked.

James had to rack his memory to answer her question, momentarily forgetting about everything but her smell. 'At least for the next few days you should stay in your room as much as you can. Lily's mad at you.'

Rose sighed but her whole body relaxed for the first time since coming out to speak to James. She noticed that his hand was still on his face, still caressing her cheek and her chin. Rose nodded. 'Okay,' she whispered, looking down.

The tears had stopped but the sadness in her expression still made James's heart pine a little. He put SJ in a more stable position and then opened his arms. This must have been the first time he hugged Rose since she left all those months ago.

Her body had always felt perfect against his, much like Lily's did. But Lily's body felt like him and her were two jigsaw pieces fitting perfectly together. Rose's was more like the opposite, moulding her way into him. He could feel her breasts pressing against his chest, and her face nuzzling his neck and he breathed out cautiously.

This felt so wrong and so right. He rested his chin on the top of her head and listened to her content sigh. He had a content sigh waiting to be released in him as well.

_xo _

'My Lord,' asked Bellatrix, getting up from Voldemort's feet where she had thrown herself.

'Bellatrix,' came the serpentine, silky smooth voice. 'Bella, tell me, what do you think of this whole Dark Mark ordeal.'

Bellatrix was a smart witch; he hoped he wouldn't regret asking her. 'My Lord ... I think that – that possibly, the Dark Mark has ... has turned the tables in Sirius's favour.'

Voldemort nodded. Just what the three other Death Eaters he had asked said. 'Why do you think that?' he asked.

'My Lord, whenever you summon any of us, the pain you feel is barely there. For us it is like a sting. A sting that fades as soon as it comes. But when you press it for him, to summon Sirius, the pain you both feel looks almost too much to bear.'

Voldemort nodded. This was true. He wasn't supposed to feel any pain, so then why did it hurt so much in Sirius Black's case? 'What do you recommend I do?'

Bellatrix dared not look in the Dark Lord's eye. 'The Dark Mark we have can tell you where we are. Investigate Black's. See what you can and cannot do. See if there are any other powers it has given you. Any other powers it has taken away.'

'You mean to say that because it is not of the normal sort, there might be things it can do that yours cannot?'

She nodded. 'Yes my Lord. I think that something has gone wrong. Maybe it's because he never accepted it like we were to do before you administered it.'

The Dark Lord nodded. 'I think you may be right Bellatrix. Now, I would like some more ... go get me some Basilisk Venom.'

She gaped at him. 'Some more my Lord? But you said more than three lots can be fatal? More than three administrations could kill.'

Lord Voldemort smiled darkly. 'I would just like to see what would happen if more were administered. After I test his mark of course. Now Bella you know where to get it from. Good, go fetch some now.'

Bellatrix stood there, dumbfounded. But barely a growled order from Voldemort was enough to send her running out of the room to go and buy some more Basilisk Venom. It was expensive, but she had more than enough money.

Just as she wrenched the front door open, Severus Snape was about to knock. His face was urgent and he pushed past her. 'Where is the Dark Lord?'

Containing her anger, she spat, 'In the drawing room, you fool.' Then Bellatrix closed the front door behind her and made her way out to Knockturn Alley.

Severus wasn't here for fun. He was there to do what Dumbledore had ordered him to do merely an hour ago. To tell Lord Voldemort about the rescue attempt for Sirius Black in just over a week.

It had taken Dumbledore an hour to explain his motives to Severus but still, he didn't understand. Why would the only wizard the Dark Lord was afraid of go and turn himself over? The Order members and the Aurors were more than capable of battling the Death Eaters, maybe even arresting a few, killing some. Though they wouldn't be able to rescue Black, they would get a good shot at it.

They might even be able to see Black. But only someone with a Dark Mark would be able to enter the room he was in. It was old and spectacular magic, and therefore impossible to defy.

But regardless, Albus Dumbledore had the potential to fight Voldemort back, to even temporarily beat him. And yet he was going to hand himself over. He wanted Voldemort to summon more recruits so the Order and the Aurors lost.

'_But why?' Severus had asked urgently._

_Dumbledore smiled at him, his blue eyes twinkling. 'All in good time Severus. I will reveal all of the mysteries in good time.'_

Without Dumbledore shining light over the Wizarding World, Voldemort would conquer. He would take over and conquer. If anything this would make everything worse. It would make it that much harder to fight back and defeat Voldemort. He would get so many new followers, his influence over half-breeds would treble, he would rule Britain with an iron fist.

Severus swallowed and then knocked on the door of the drawing room.

'Enter,' the serpentine voice said softly.

Severus entered; his face still urgent. 'My Lord—'

Voldemort got up from the chair he was seated in. He knew from one look that Severus didn't have good news. 'Yes, what is it?' he demanded, his eyes lighting up.

'Twenty seventh of December, a flock of Aurors and Order members, they're coming here. Amycus Carrow gave way, told them that Black was here. They're _coming_ my Lord, with an army that might conquer our own!'

Voldemort's face didn't look sad or happy; it was void of any emotions. But his eyes – they betrayed the excitement he was feeling. 'How do you know?'

Severus repeated what Dumbledore had told him to say a few hours previous. 'He asked me to join his side, their side of the war. He wants me to turn sides and spy on you.'

Voldemort laughed, a true smile flickering over his face. 'The old man is getting more naive and more gullible. But say, what did you reply?'

Severus swallowed. 'I told him what I thought you would want me to tell him. I said I would think about it.'

'Then how do you know about the rescue mission?' asked Voldemort, turning his back on Severus and looking out of the window.

'Like how I heard the prophecy all those months ago. I eavesdropped. Him and McGonagall talking, Shacklebolt was there and so was Lupin. They've made a plan. They have roughly fifteen Order members and twenty Aurors. We could win, but we would suffer with our mere twenty Death Eaters here. But you could call some off the missions with giants and werewolves and vampires.'

Voldemort nodded. 'Yes, yes.' He was thinking. Thirty five didn't seem too big. If he called in twenty more Death Eaters from missions all around Europe, well then why wouldn't they win?

He was pacing the room for minutes, the intelligent and intricate clogs in his mind working hard to try and think of a good plan.

'I'll summon a meeting in an hour.'

Severus nodded, clearing his throat. 'Of course my Lord. I hope I wasn't too late.'

Voldemort shook his head. 'Not at all, not at all. Thank you Severus. Thank you for doing what you do best.'

Severus smiled a tight lipped, fake smile. He didn't know whether to feel honoured or insulted. What he did best?

But of course. Lord Voldemort meant spying, Lord Voldemort meant lying.

He swallowed. Lately, it hurt to breathe. But around Lord Voldemort he was afraid to breathe.

* * *

><p><em>A:N Out once again in record time, only like 3 or 4 days. It was hard to write after doing the whole Regulus chapter, but I think it's good enough to post for all you guys. I'm very grateful for all the reviews I have gotten, and the alerts and favourites! Continue doing it please! You guys rock!_

_Anyway, thanks for reading, I hope you like this chapter, _

_Take care! _

_xo_


	21. Happy Birthday to Me

_Any grammatical errors in Kreacher's dialogue is intentional, but if its elsewhere then it's an accident and I apologise!_

_Disclaimer; I do not own Harry Potter at all, only the plot, the OCs, and some spells and potions. Cheers!_

_xx_

* * *

><p><em>xoxo<em>

_21. Happy Birthday to Me_

The recruits looked like tall, towering gates. Moody watched them proudly, watched them sink into synchronised duelling stances. He watched them put on terribly frightening expressions and whip their wands around with such ferocity if any magic had actually been cast then the hall would have split open a hundred times over by now.

Moody watched them with unwavering interest as they split into groups, viciously attacking and casting nasty curses at each other. He watched with such pride. They were_ his_ Aurors. He'd never been prouder.

That was until Fabian and Gideon Prewett waltzed arrogantly into the hall, capturing the interest of many Aurors with their impressive duelling, their _very_ impressive duelling. Fabian had faster reflexes but Gideon's spells wore a little more strength. It was always exhilarating to watch them battle each other, hard even to call the shots on whom would win.

Moody grew impatient after a few short moments and waved his wand, forcing both men backwards, blondish ginger hair flying back as they fell onto their bums, grins on their arrogant faces; their rather handsome faces. The twins reminded him so much of Black and Potter, who were just as close and just as similar.

'Aw Moods, why d'you have to be so boring?' Gideon whined, straightening up and batting his twin's pleading hand out of the way.

Moody growled and pointed his wand at both the twins. 'Either shut up or get to the stage. Since your pansy arses are in the mood for a little showing off, you can demonstrate to us what _not to do _during a battle!'

Moody pointed vigorously at the stage. And when Fabian thought the old Auror's back was turned and stuck up a rather rude finger, he was rewarded with a curse that left his arse itchy for hours.

_xo _

James was gnawing on his nails as he listened to the loud and confident voice of Moody. It was the opposite of calming; he knew what they were going to do for Sirius. But how would he help? He wanted to be the one there to save Sirius. Him and Remus. The true Marauders. The remaining Marauders.

Oh, how James missed Peter. The one who was always there to talk to when things were hard. The one who comforted James in ways that Remus and Sirius couldn't.

Without Peter, many thought the Marauders would still be the same. But they were wrong; Peter Pettigrew was the missing link in the Marauder puzzle. Without him they would be incomplete. And that was why it hurt so much when Sirius exposed him over a month ago.

James still remembered trying to come up with liable reasons for Peter's betrayal to Lily. But he knew it was true, he knew Peter had been absent from them for a long time in mind, body and soul.

'... And how well Mr Moody, are the Aurors doing right now?'

There was a cough and Moody continued talking with a bland, bored voice. 'Pretty darn well, but it's only been a short while. Maybe by late-January to February and I'll have them better than much older Aurors.'

'But what about all the attacks that have been happening? Do you have any Aurors that could protect the public whilst you train the others?' It was a woman's voice, and a rather pleasant voice to listen to.

'Well, I've got a few recruits handy, and Crouch says that we can use these new training Aurors to battle with us if any huge riots happen...'

'JAMES!' Lily's loud voice cried. She ran into the room, her lustrous hair bouncing behind her. 'James, is that what I think it is? Is Moody really going to go and save Sirius?'

Lily was just as good as him at reading between the lines. She was cradling Sirius James in her arms as though he was her own, and Harry was hurrying into the room behind them inside his Halloween costume; the boy couldn't get enough of it. It was almost like Sirius's parting gift, leaving Lily and James stuck in a house with the noisiest and most annoying costume ever to be invented.

'I think so, I really think so. I really _hope_ so. They have loads of recruits as well Lily; they must have thirty or so. They wouldn't have that many if they weren't positive where he was.'

'Must have been Carrow who snitched,' she said, sliding next to him and coddling the baby in her arms. The baby-Mother must have been upstairs having a shower or something.

'You know Crouch's policies, you _can_ torture for information. You can use the Unforgiveables. But then it isn't really an Unforgiveable if anyone can use it.'

'He probably justified it by saying, "ANY MEANS NECESSARY!" ... ooh God that man scares me.' She grinned at James when he laughed.

And then Lily noticed something in James's expression. And though she couldn't read him like a book as the Marauders could, which they often demonstrated, she could read her husband pretty damn well.

Her emerald eyes narrowed. 'What are you so happy about?'

James swallowed and smiled. 'They err ... They're off to rescue Sirius. Of course I'm going to be happy.'

Lily shook her head, and bit her lip. 'No, no it's something else. It's something else, isn't it? You're planning something... You want to do something.'

James pressed a hasty kiss to her lips and then stood up, stretching. 'Need to piss. And no Lily, I'm not planning something.' He said, walking out of the room. When he was sure she couldn't hear him, he muttered under his breath, 'Haven't gotten that far yet.'

_xo _

'Show me,' demanded the Dark Lord. He held out his pale white, long spidery hand for the detailed map of the Malfoy Manor. 'Where? Where do you think they would go?'

Lucius was very scared; he had never seen his master so anxious and panicky. 'If I were them my Lord, I would use the underground. We have very good structural tunnels under there, which could lead you anywhere around our house, and to an extent even inside the house.'

Lord Voldemort nodded, turning to Severus for his opinion. 'What about you Severus? What do you think?' there was a slight emphasis on _you _and it made Severus feel uneasy.

'I would, my Lord, split into two groups. A larger group to battle us Death Eaters and the other to try and retrieve Sirius Black.'

'Well, I got word this morning from Douglas and Murphy.' said Voldemort, leaning back in his thrown. 'Douglas has managed to barely get into the good books of the giant leader whereas Murphy reported to me that the vampire coven in Switzerland is being more than hostile. It seems that for this battle, we will have to do without magical beast reinforcements. But hopefully, by spring, we will have the giants on our side. Imagine that,' a nasty look flickered on Voldemort's face. 'Imagine ruling over the giants. Ruling over Britain.'

'If anyone should rule over this country my Lord, it is you.' declared Bellatrix. A few other Death Eaters applauded and nodded.

'Then alas, it shall be us, twenty nine strong. I've told Murphy to send over six, and Douglas to send out three.'

There were nods of appreciation and another round of applause.

'Now, we need to break into strategic groups. I have never been one for planning but the Aurors and Order members are strong. We need to win.' Everyone nodded in agreement and Voldemort shushed them. 'Now, there will be thirty eight of us. I want you Bella to take care of the underground group. It shall consist of ... eight others. You can choose.'

Bellatrix's face split into a radiant and extremely adoring face. 'Thank you so much my Lord.' She gushed, her face still beaming around.

'Severus ... I want you and the seven other Death Eaters to stay inside the house. Pretend that you are trying to keep them from getting to Sirius, though of course, I want them to try. They won't succeed. It'll be entertaining.'

Severus wasn't the only one who sent a puzzled looked to Voldemort. 'My Lord?' he asked.

'You see Severus, whether they come with thirty recruits, or one hundred or even one thousand, they will not be able to get Sirius Black.' His voice sounded so silky smooth it sent shivers all over the table.

'Why?' someone whispered, their soft breathy voice filling the outstanding silence.

'Because my dear Death Eaters, merely hours after Sirius had gotten here to the manor almost a month ago, I set a dark and evil charm on the doorway. Only someone with the Dark Mark can enter. And so, only one of us can get him and bring him out.'

Severus was so close to crying out. This couldn't be true but he knew it was. The Dark Lord wouldn't lie about something like this.

'What about the rest of us?' Dolohov asked, his voice deep and husky with anticipation and excitement.

'Well of course the rest of you shall be outside. You shall try to kill as much of them as you can.'

Dolohov nodded slowly, with a smile on his face. 'What are you going to do my Lord?' his voice was a little hesitant; the Dark Lord was very secretive about his own plans usually.

'I shall be battling Albus Dumbledore of course. He will come, will he not Severus?'

Severus nodded after a moment's pause. 'Yes, he shall be coming. I think he expects you to be there waiting for him.'

Lord Voldemort chuckled long and hard, stroking the snake that had wrapped herself around his neck. 'And waiting, I shall do.'

_xo _

Albus Dumbledore looked around. There were thirty five strong men and women around him. It was another conference. Many of these witches and wizards were not the planning type, but they knew the urgency of thinking this out. These weren't a few petty Death Eaters causing havoc in Diagon Alley. These were some of the strongest ones, with their Lord by their side, and almost as many recruits.

Well, in fact, Severus had told Albus about Voldemort calling home some Death Eaters. Now there were thirty eight instead of the intended thirty. It would be a horrid fight, with casualties on both sides.

If possible though, there was something worse than being outnumbered. Voldemort had cast an ancient charm on the doorway of Sirius Black's prison. No one but a marked person could enter. Albus couldn't help but think of Peter Pettigrew, and whether the boy would help them. If they could find him first.

Albus didn't want to give himself over without the reassurance of Sirius being safe first. But he had to hand himself over. It was the only way to win the war! But as much as Albus said so, he couldn't help but feel uneasy.

Especially since tomorrow was Christmas Eve, the birthday of Sirius Black. And the day that Kreacher promised he would bring the locket. Albus had been researching on how to destroy a horcrux. So far he had nothing, though a passage had said something like this:

_Horcruxes are perhaps the darkest creations of the magical world. To love is to die, and only upon meeting Death are we able to repent and beg for forgiveness. A horcrux is a device prohibiting Death from reaching a soul. But it is as difficult to destroy a horcrux as it is to make one; only a soul so evil would ever make a horcrux. The destruction of a horcrux requires something stronger, something darker._

It took Albus a few times of reading to understand the passage. He wasn't even sure if he wholly understood now, but he was going to try. Something stronger, something darker. But _what?_

He hadn't slept properly in days, barely scraping two or three hours each night. Because there was so much to do; planning for the rescue mission, writing letters for Sirius and James and Remus and Peter, researching the horcrux which he knew he would not have time to destroy...

But he could leave it for someone who would die to destroy the horcrux, knowing it was that very locket which took the life of his brother. Yes, Albus would take Kreacher's memories and use them to explain to Sirius. He would write a long letter, it may be the longest he would ever write, and he would leave the locket behind for him in a place no other would look, no other would think to look.

Albus turned and watched the men, talking and splitting into groups upon Moody's orders. He hoped they would be okay, he hoped they would live. It was unrealistic but he hoped nonetheless.

'We'll leave for the Malfoy Manor in the morning; if they expect a rescue mission they will expect it at night. And it'll be easier to navigate the tunnels in the day.'

The Headmaster nodded vigorously. 'Yes, they would. I think that could work out.'

'BOYS!' roared Moody, pointing at Fabian and Gideon who were trying to goad Remus into a play fight, especially dangerous since the full moon was on the twenty eighth, not too long away. Remus bared his teeth, with his eyes sharp as he stepped further from the twins. And then he turned away from them, nodding in thanks to Moody.

'What are you doing later Albus? I'm thinking of taking these little shits to Hog's Head and giving them a lecture, wanna help?'

Albus laughed a true laugh, the first times in days. 'Though that does sound tempting I'm going to have to pass. I've got business to attend too. But I do want an Order meeting tomorrow, so if you could tell them after they've finished mucking around. And I want to speak to Carrows, explain to him the plan.'

Moody nodded, clapping Albus gently on the arm and turning around to whoever was calling him.

As Albus turned away, he felt the guilt inside him grow almost too unbearable. He disapparated with a loud crack.

_xo _

The sun was streaming through the dull grey skies, and it must have been around eight or nine. It was barely over the horizon, and Sirius could see the half moon blazing at the opposite end, waning and flickering as the sun took over the skies.

The door flung open and in came Bellatrix carrying a blade and some shaving cream. She smiled as she kissed Sirius on his nose, setting down the tools and running a hand through his hair. It had gotten awfully long, the tips now skimming his shoulders. He had also grown a moustache and a beard, and though he still looked handsome it didn't suit him as well as the hairless look did.

Bellatrix fell to her knees, putting foam in her hands and massaging it into Sirius's chin. He was still slightly shocked and stayed quiet until after a while she grew bored of the silence and asked him a question.

'Are you enjoying how generous I'm being?' Her voice was playful and her eyes were dancing as she looked up at him from down below.

Sirius swallowed, almost laughing. 'I've had girls, more generous than you, on their knees doing pleasurable things to me.' Then he laughed.

Bellatrix gritted her teeth as she pulled the blade out of its sheath and pointed it at Sirius. 'You're filthy you are,' she said, swiftly and sharply stroking his chin with the gleaming silver metal. Locks of hair fell onto the cold floor.

'Not as filthy as someone who enjoys the taste of blood.' Sirius spat back.

'You're lucky you are. The Dark Lord is coming to see you in a bit. Offer you your birthday present.'

Sirius's head snapped up, causing Bella's blade to run through his skin and bring blood to the pale surface. 'It's my birthday?' he asked in dread, his lip trembling.

Had it really been so long?

'Look what you made me do!' Bellatrix hissed, pulling out her wand and cleaning the skin, healing the cut too. 'Yes, yes, today is your twenty second birthday. Are you happy? Are you excited? We have a party planned.'

Sirius shivered. By party she meant a bunch of Death Eaters taking it in turns to try and make Sirius scream. In his opinion, it was an alright party if the Death Eaters were into that sort of kinky shit. But there was never any alcohol, and no beautiful topless girls either.

'My my Bella, who would have thought you could be so nice? Shaving me, throwing a party ... I'm shocked.'

She smiled radiantly at him, and then withdrew some scissors which he had not seen. Sometimes it scared him at just how many weapons she carried on her body, and how he never saw any of them until she revealed it.

'What sort of haircut d'you want?' Her voice was honestly curious.

'Just what I usually have,' he told her. She cut his hair with tenderness that scared him, and when he commented on it she cast a horrid hex on him.

'I like tasting your blood Sirius because it's not as filthy as I imagined it to be. It has this weird aftertaste to it, but not necessarily a bad aftertaste.'

Sirius bit his lip to stop from retching. It honestly made him sick to the bones; _she made him sick to the bones. _

'What sort of present is your Lord going to give me?'

Bellatrix tugged sharply on his hair and he groaned a little in pain, abiding by her wishes and tilting his head. 'The Dark Lord is your Lord too. Stop denying it. After the twenty seventh, he'll be everyone's Lord.'

Sirius snapped his head up, hearing a particularly loud snip. In the back of his mind, he was thinking about whether she had cut too much off.

'What's happening on the twenty seventh?'

Bella froze. The scissors froze. Even her breathing froze. Then she whizzed around so she was facing Sirius. She grabbed his throat and pointed the sharp scissors at it. 'You ever mention that date again and I'll ... I'll kill your werewolf friend.'

Sirius closed his mouth. He could feel his heart trying to escape from his chest, it was beating so hard. 'O-okay.' He stuttered in a breathy voice.

'Good,' she whispered just as quietly, returning to the back of him and his chained arms so she could trim the back of his head.

Sirius took a few calming breaths but after a moment he felt fine. Or at least he pretended he was fine. 'There, all done.' She said after a while.

Sirius tried to run a hand through his shorter hair, back to the length he loved; barely grazing his jaw. But the chains restricted it, and he only scraped the ends. 'Thanks.' He replied quietly. Then his stomach grumbled, and both he and Bella looked down.

'Can I have something to eat? I haven't eaten in two days.'

Bellatrix bit her lip and then tilted her head before chuckling loud. 'Only if you say "my Lord"...'

Sirius gritted his teeth, even pondering on the thought for a bit. But his dignity pushed him down and spoke for him. 'Fuck you,' he spat out.

She slapped his hard and sharp, splitting his lip open. 'That wasn't the answer I wanted.'

'Leave him Bella.' A soft and serpentine voice said from the doorway. Sirius looked up and felt his body quake but defiantly, he raised his chin.

'Yes Bella, leave me. Go on. _Leave_ me.'

It was hard for her to turn away but she managed. Though not before touching his lip and smearing the blood. Her footsteps were loud and harsh as she walked out of the room, closing the door behind her but not before Sirius saw her lick the blood from her hand. For hundreds of seconds, Voldemort just stood there and looked at the young man before him.

'It is your ... twenty second birthday today? If I am correct ...'

Sirius nodded and he swallowed, smiling whilst his tongue flicked out of his mouth to lick up the smeared blood. 'Yes it is. Where's my present?'

From behind him, Lord Voldemort took out a syringe. Inside was the familiar black liquid of diluted Basilisk Venom. Sirius started hissing under his breath, the chains rattling with the sudden terror he felt. Voldemort almost smiled at the fright he was causing the younger man to feel.

'I had wondered ... I had wondered why your Dark Mark was different from everyone else's. I had wondered whether I did something wrong or whether it was just you. Bellatrix picked this up for me a few days ago. I think I may have pushed the dilution with the third administration, but what's the worse that could happen if the venom becomes potent? You'll get poisoned?'

Sirius started moaning, shaking his head and almost on the verge of begging out loud. There were only so many memories he could use to try and block the pain, and it was almost like a memory protected him once and then expired afterwards. Like a condom.

'Pl...' He barely managed to breathe, but once again Sirius's dignity plucked the word back before he could say all of it.

Voldemort had heard it though and he smiled. 'You don't want an administration? You don't want another one? Then tell me where the Potters are. Tell me now and I might even consider letting you live.'

Sirius trembled, so close to telling on his friends. But he felt that sickness, the sickness he always felt whenever he considered handing them over. The self-loathing was enough of a shield for him.

'No,' panted Sirius.

'Well then...' Lord Voldemort was so close now, close enough to almost _smell _the fear radiating off of Sirius. The young man tried to struggle in the chains but to no avail did he manage to stop Voldemort from grasping his forearm and propping the syringe on the gleaming red Dark Mark.

Voldemort lightly traced it once, revelling in the anticipation he was creating. Then he stuck it in. Sirius screamed, his voice shattered through the house like a spell. Every Death Eater turned and looked up at where the voice was coming from; above them.

The scream was loud, and resonated maybe even beyond the manor. It didn't matter though, because no one could hear Sirius. And Voldemort started chuckling as he carved a path into the skin. The red glowed redder and the screams grew louder. Until Voldemort finished, pressing the last of the syringed Basilisk Venom into where he had started, some of it meshing with a large drip of blood.

And then there was nothing but white. White filled Voldemort's eyes and he fell back, dropping the syringe and barely managing to catch himself. His hands came up and he cradled his left hand which had started to throb.

The window smashed open, its glass hitting everything in the room whilst the floor started quaking. He could hear the cries of the Death Eaters downstairs and the sound of more furniture collapsing and breaking. He could hear the whimpers from Sirius and wondered for a moment if the young man could feel what he was feeling.

And then there was pain. Such unimaginable pain. It was almost as if someone ripped open Voldemort's chest and plucked out his soul, his heart. It felt similar to when he created the locket and Nagini, only it felt so much worse. And it felt different because it was almost like something was entering _him._

His eyes stung with tears, and Voldemort was sure they fell. His chest started aching as some of his essence left him and sifted like a light, into the whiteness. His chest started burning as some unknown essence sifted into him. A shaky gasp left his throat when the whiteness faded and his vision returned.

Voldemort lay on the ground for countless seconds, afraid to even breathe. The throbbing in his forearm returned and he looked down, gasping in shock. His Dark Mark was not black anymore, like it was supposed to be and had been for countless years.

His Dark Mark was almost white, and when Voldemort looked over to Sirius Black, with a jolt he saw that the once scarlet mark had, like Voldemort's, turned white.

_xo _

James sat on the small sofa, SJ in his arms and dressed in some of the old clothes they had gotten for Harry when he was around a month old. Today was the day that SJ turned a month. The day Sirius Black turned twenty two.

Sirius was the second eldest, beaten by Peter. No one would guess Wormtail was the eldest. He was the smallest and the most vulnerable, but he was oldest by two months.

He lifted the boy easily, like a potato, and rubbed his nose against the small stump-like nose on SJ's face. Then James grinned and laughed when the little boy sneezed. Rose had been feeding SJ well, he'd filled out a little and his skin was chubby and soft.

Of course, James was the one who had to bathe SJ because Rose was hopeless and so he was worried she might drown the small boy by accident. However now was not the time to think of Rose or even Lily or Harry.

It was Sirius's birthday. The first time in ten years James had missed any of his friend's birthdays. He had been there at Sirius's twelfth all the way to his twenty first. And now he had missed the twenty second. Perhaps the only present James could offer Sirius was the ever constant presence in his mind, and a place in his heart.

When SJ started making a fussed noise, James stood up and started rocking him. 'It's Christmas tomorrow, are you excited baby? Are you excited? Me and Lily got you a present, I think you'll love it. I hope you love it. It's a picture of your daddy. We'll hang it near your bed so you recognise him when he comes home.'

Lily stood in the door way, listening to what her husband was telling the boy. She stayed quiet, not wanting to invade James's quiet time. Of course her husband was heartbroken at the fact that Sirius had been gone so long. She also knew that he was heartbroken at the fact that he wouldn't be there to help rescue his best friend.

She had figured out why James had been so happy the other day. Because he could rescue his friend and save the day. James was a hero, one of those heroes that meant it not for the popularity or pride but for the person he was saving. Though now Lily came to think of it, James did love the attention that came with saving the day.

She heard a sneeze come from the baby and then her husband's tinkering laugh. 'You'll look just like your daddy. And believe me, that's a good thing. Your Mother wasn't much of a looker when she was younger. Splotchy skin and goofy teeth. You must have God on your side. And the infamous Black curse of good looks of course.'

There was another sneeze and another laugh. 'I can't wait till you meet your dad ... don't ever tell him I said this but he's pretty fucking amazing. He's really clever, has the best sense of humour; and he's fun, mischievous ... he's the best friend I've ever had ... I hope you turn out like him. You and Harry'll be best friends ... it's a shame you won't be in the same year at Hogwarts. But who knows, maybe Harry'll be kept back a year, he seems a bit slow. Still can't say my name properly.'

Lily had to bite her lip to stop from laughing out in endearment, and she looking lovingly at her husband, his back to her, still standing near the fireplace, the warm flames warming the room up which had been very chilly before.

'You look a bit like Regulus as well, that's your uncle. He died in '79. You wouldn't have liked him much I reckon, but then again he wasn't a bad guy. Fell in with the wrong crowd just because he thought that was what your grandmother would have wanted. She's a right prude, and a right bitch. Sirius hates her, isn't speaking to her. I think you'll hate her too. Only good thing about her is how much money she has.'

Lily watched James pause in front of a photo album on the shelf just above the fireplace. It was in between a cluster of photos, either framed and stuck to the wall using a Temporary Sticky Charm. James took it with his spare hand and sat down, cradling the baby but holding him in such a way that he could manoeuvre the album and still keep it in the baby's sight.

'This is when you were made, in Paris. You're lucky you are, I was made in Kent. My parents – your surrogate grandparents – they took a trip to Kent, thinking it would be romantic and all. Turned out the only romantic time they got was a quickie in the ladies' toilets in a Muggle bar. Your dad loves telling that story again and again unfortunately, and he's a big drama queen. So if he tells you mum and dad invited a bunch of kids to watch, he's lying!'

James turned to the first picture and Lily watched her husband smile down at it. It was in the airport, a few metres in front of a doorway. 'That's your mum, you probably won't believe me since you look nothing like her. And of course there's Pads. Pads is short for Padfoot, a nickname for him. It's funny really, not at all secretive – basically reveals his Animagus form. He's a dog when he transforms ... actually, he's a dog regardless.'

Lily grinned and turned away, letting her husband commentate and explain the pictures for their little nephew. For James, this was almost a gift for Sirius – explaining things to his son. It was his way of apologising for everything that had gone wrong, and for being the reason that he was stuck with Voldemort in a horrid house surrounded by Death Eaters, and receiving their curses.

Lily gently went up the stairs to her room, popping her head in Rose's room to see if the woman was alright. Rose was just changing, and nodded politely at Lily when she saw her. When Lily got to the master bedroom she sunk down onto the bed, looking up at the pale white ceiling, closing her eyes tight. She let out a shaky breath she had been holding and squeezed her eyes as hard as she could.

Lily clasped her hands tightly together; whispering under her breath.

_Please God, if you're there, if you can hear me, make sure he's safe. Make sure my brother Sirius is okay, and make sure he gets away. Make sure Remus and Moody and Frank save him. Bring him home._

_xo _

As the clock struck midnight, there was a cloud of ash as Kreacher, for a second time this month, tumbled into the room through the fireplace, knocking over a chair and a few books.

He straightened up, brushing his pristine and clean robes, wiping some ash from his face. Then he saw Albus Dumbledore and swept down into a low and deep bow.

'Master Dumbledore,' his voice declared in a quiet voice. Even through the bow, Albus could see some hesitance. He smiled at Kreacher and reached out, offering a handshake. Kreacher just stared at it. Albus looked down at the elf's hands and could see a box, handsome and old.

It looked like an ancient family heirloom, and the material looked to be marble. Kreacher clutched it closer to his body.

When he sat down a few minutes later opposite Albus he started stuttering hard. 'Per-perhaps Kreacher should k-keep it, y-you weren't the o-one Master R-R-Reg wanted—'

'I understand that wholly Kreacher, of course I do. But if I let you keep it, it means Regulus died for nothing, it means he died in vain. And I'm sure you don't like that idea any more than I do. He died for this to be destroyed, and it's been two years. Nothing has happened. Trust me Kreacher, if anyone can destroy Lord Voldemort's—' He ignored the house elf's flinch at the mention of the name, 'If there is anyone, it is me.'

Kreacher thought long and hard, and his hands trembled as he set it on the desk, sliding it over. Albus opened it.

There was a serpentine S laid with glittering green stones on the surface of the locket; it looked so real Albus could almost imagine it squirming. The surface was smooth with a golden rim, and it was very large, almost the size of a snitch.

Albus gently took it out of the velvet clutches and lifted it slowly; hesitantly. He touched the surface, cold as ice. He could almost hear hissing and spitting coming from inside the locket, and a shiver resonated through Albus.

He breathed in calmly, setting it back down. 'Thank you Kreacher.'

But when he heard a sob, he looked up from the marble box and at the snivelling house elf. Albus felt a little bad. 'What is it?' he asked.

'I-it's j-just th-that the l-locket w-was K-Kreacher's o-only connection t-t-to Master R-Reg.' He cried, covering his face and shaking his head.

Dumbledore waited patiently for the house elf to stop crying; it was insensitive if he told the elf to shut up when he was the reason the elf was crying! But then an idea struck Albus.

He took out his elder wand (little did anyone know about the wand and its existence and most importantly little did they know that _he _was the bearer) and tapped the locket. A replica, less dazzling and heavy, sprung onto the desk from the tip of the elder wand.

Albus scooped it up and presented it to Kreacher. 'It is my fault that you shall lose the real one, and I am sorry Kreacher, but take this as a reminder of Regulus and the bravery you both showed inside the cave.'

Kreacher wiped his eyes and his nose and mouth, and with shaky hands took the locket, wrapping it around his throat. It was so big that the S on the surface was level with his bellybutton.

'Thank you,' Kreacher breathed in a breathy voice. 'Thank you so much.' He gasped.

Albus waved it away, smiling down with his piercing blue eyes. 'It's alright! Really Kreacher, you have helped me so much already. Although ...'

The house elf's eyes narrowed and he looked scathingly at the Headmaster. 'Although?' He asked worriedly.

Albus shook his head. 'Don't worry dear friend! I shall not be asking for any favours, more like something you owe an old master of yours. Something another would have wanted you to do.'

'What about _Sirius_?' Kreacher all but cried.

Albus almost chuckled, biting his lip hard to stop. 'Consider it Kreacher. Regulus is dead and Sirius knows nothing of how brave or strong or courageous his brother was; he thinks Regulus ran away like a blundering fool and was killed by Lucius Malfoy—'

'An insult to Master Reg's memory!' cried Kreacher, shaking his fist threateningly in the air. 'When Mistress Walburga told Kreacher, Kreacher cried for days. Till the other day Kreacher was not allowed to tell anyone! It made Kreacher so angry!'

'Well not you can redeem some of it. Put Sirius out of his misery, though he might not deserve it from the hands of you. But show him that he was wrong. Show him how brave and strong Regulus was, show him that Regulus was on the _good _side! Show him you are not as bad as he thinks.'

Kreacher deliberated hard for a moment, his crooked teeth chewing down on his colourless lip. Then he sighed, a sigh that moved his chest and filled the room. 'Fine.' The angry house elf spat.

Albus grinned at him, pulling open his draw and taking out a small vial. He set it on the table. Kreacher eyed it cautiously, looking from the perched wand in the Headmaster's hands to the vial. 'W-what are you going to do Master Dumbledore?'

'It won't hurt a bit, at least, not physically. I didn't do this to you the first time because I didn't want to put you through this but you need to do this for your old Master Sirius. He deserves this.'

Kreacher breathed in shakily. 'And what is t'is?'

'This, Kreacher, is where I shall withdraw the memories and lock them in the vial. Sirius will be able to see it if he pours it into a contraption similar or identical to that one...' He pointed at the grey basin covered in runes, half concealed by the cupboard door it was hidden behind.

The house elf puffed out his chest. 'This is for Master Regulus, Kreacher's best friend and the bravest person in the world.'

Albus pointed his wand and gently pressed it to the house elf's temple. A long silvery strand flowed to the open vial, filling it up with its substance; not a gas and not a liquid, but somewhere in between. Until the vial was totally full did Albus remove his wand and set it down on the table, putting a stopper on the top of the vial.

Kreacher was panting, touching the place the wand had been and massaging vigorously. 'It was almost as bad as when Kreacher told you the story himself. But it is getting gooder with time. Maybe Kreacher will be able to thing of Master Reg's last moments better now he has come to accept it.'

Albus nodded hard. 'Couldn't have said it better myself!' The small house elf picked up the marble box and wrapped his arms around it protectively. He shuffled over to the fireplace, standing next to it.

With a hand full of floo powder, he turned away from Albus and was about to throw it in when he turned suddenly, a question on his lips. 'Will you be able to find Master Reg? Will you be able to give him the peace he deserves?'

Albus thought hard for a moment. 'I think that if I am not able too, Sirius will.'

'You think he'll escape then?'

The ancient Headmaster laughed, 'Of course he will. He's Sirius Black. Merry Christmas Kreacher.'

Kreacher didn't even bid Albus a Merry Christmas or a good night but threw the powder, jumping into the emerald flames and swirling out of sight, sprinkling ash back onto the carpet.

After maybe hundreds of seconds, the old Headmaster shuffled over to the cabinet, getting a bottle of brandy out and pouring himself a generous glass, gulping it down and smacking his lips together. The second glass was sipped with more caution and the third with even more caution.

He was almost a little worried to write the letters; his last letters. Albus had already written Peter's and sent it. He had also written Remus's but James ... James was left.

And then there was Sirius – no doubt it would be the longest letter. And inside the envelope he would put the vial, telling the young man to enter the memories. He would explain the importance of destroying the locket (Albus would leave the locket with the Marauders, because if there was ever anyone who would destroy it and find a way, it would be one of them).

He would also tell them about his motives to get captured, he wasn't sure if they would be angry or not. Then of course, he would have to explain all about Severus, and how though Severus seemed to be against them, they needed to trust the man.

All in all, he had a lot of explaining to do. And with only two days now left he had to hurry up with these letters. He would give the letters to Remus tomorrow, was there a better person to guard the letters than Remus? Was there someone who he knew without a doubt wouldn't read anyone else's letter other than his own.

Albus pulled out a fresh roll of parchment, put the ink bottle on the top of the page to keep it down and dipped his eagle feathered quill into the pot and started to write in his loopy, elegant script. Pausing, he looked down at the words _Dear James _and sighed.

This was going to be harder than he thought.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Please remember that this is AU, and I've brought Fab and Gid back to life for this story. Question is, will they remain alive?_

_Thanks for reading, leave a thought or two please!_

_xo_


	22. Foretold

_Disclaimer; you know the drill. Only OCs and plot, thanks! Oh, and I've corrected some of the mistakes / weird sounding sentences from the last chapter, thanks. _

_x_

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><p><em>xoxo <em>

_22. Foretold_

Their steps were soft, barely there. The skies were very dull, and the sun was peeping up over the horizon. They were already in teams; the underground team and the main team. Remus breathed in a shaky breath and wiped his sweaty palms on his trousers, his wand sliding in his hands. Why was he so scared? Maybe because he could feel the wolf raging inside him?

Quite literally raging inside him, waiting for tomorrow to be set free. Remus knew he could beat and hurt the Death Eaters; step on them like they were nothing but petty ants. But that _was_ the cause of his worried. Fabian for once wasn't in a jokey mood but rather sombre and quiet; something that didn't suit him at all. He threw an arm around Remus's shoulder in a comforting manner.

'Don't worry,' Remus thought he heard Fabian say. 'You won't turn them, so where's the harm in fighting them?'

He knew the logic behind what Fabian was saying but it didn't matter really, if Remus bit someone so close to the full moon they could become infected. They wouldn't necessarily become a werewolf; half man-half wolf, with tufts of fur all over their bodies and elongated limbs and daggers for teeth.

But they _could_ become something similar, especially since tomorrow was the full moon. He could see Luna, practically full. Only Remus could see, if he looked most carefully, the missing edge on the right side. It was maybe half seven or eight in the morning, and they could all see the Malfoy Manor growing before them, getting taller, standing erect and glistening majestically.

Remus licked his lips as he walked faster, almost at the front of his group now. Fabian slipped away from Remus's group back to his own, but winked at him gently. Then they stopped, Dumbledore and Moody standing before them with urgent expressions. In front on Moody, with a wand pressed into his neck and cloth wrapped tightly around his mouth, was Amycus Carrows.

'We're almost there. Remember the plan? We're trying to buy as much time for Frank's team. We need to be careful though. They might be expecting an ambush. Remember, try to capture as many as you can. If you have one from the top ten wanted list disapparate with them straight away. Don't wait around to get more!' Moody breathed out, his glass eye flickering back at the house. 'Remember that we're here to get Sirius Black! He's the priority! I'd rather him then ten Death Eaters, got it? Good – time to split up.' His last order came out as a bark.

Frank lead the way, pulling out a map and tracing the route Emmeline Vance and Moody had come up with. It was complicated. But the group hurried after ten or so minutes of walking behind a shelter of trees, each looking for a sewage drain opening that would lead them into the tunnels. Thomas, one of the Aurors, found it after several long minutes and called them over.

They let Jennifer in first, then Pricilla (the best female fighter the Auror department had to offer) before the rest of the guys followed in. It was hard to navigate through a thin tunnel, and grime kept dripping onto the map in Frank's hands.

Remus felt like he was lost in a world of paths and routes, a wrong turn could set them back and put the Aurors and Order above in more danger. But then they heard it. Even though they were maybe two and a half metres down, they could hear it. Screams and blasts from above already.

Frank froze and they all ran into him. 'D'you hear them?' he whispered.

Max, another Auror, nodded. 'The Death Eaters were expecting us. Which means...?'

A jet of light hurtled toward them, hard and fast, illuminating the tunnel with its scarlet beam. Thank God for Pricilla's fast reflexes, Remus thought as she deflected the enormous Stunning Spell, staggering back.

Remus was fast as well, he was feeling more lupine by the minute. A growl left him that sent shivers amongst the Aurors surrounding him. He pointed his wand, didn't even need to say a word. An enormous burst of startling silver light left the tip of his golden brown wand, illuminating the tunnel and showing the silhouettes of over half a dozen Death Eaters. A few of them fell, some staggered but Bellatrix, in the front, barely moved.

Then they rushed forward, cries of anger spurring them towards the Death Eaters, towards the taunting smile on Bellatrix Lestrange's face. And they were met with just as much brute and ferocity.

When the Aurors and Order were past the tall Malfoy Manor gates (Carrows had gotten them past the barriers and now he was tied up behind a bush thanks to the Prewetts) they were met with a surprise. There were maybe almost forty Death Eaters. They had sneers on their faces. Taunting sneers and cocky smiles. Many of the Aurors staggered back in shock, and the Order members growled in disbelief and anger.

How was this possible? No one but those on the mission knew. They must have been betrayed; had their rescue mission really been so obvious and easy to predict?

In front of the small army were Death Eaters like Dolohov, Gibbon, Macnair and with a jolt, Albus recognised Crouch Jr.

'Didn't think you'd see us, hmm? Well we're smarted than you think!' shouted Crouch, laughing hard at the still shocked expressions greeting him. 'Looking for Black? You're about to meet some black —' He was the first one to shoot a spell, met with a hard shield, repelling it and sending the dark blue jet of light into the crowd. Then it all went up in smoke, sparks and blood. A lot of it.

A red shot almost hit Albus, who barely had to wave his wand to send the curse flying back to whoever was casting it.

He looked around, his eyes searching for Voldemort. Spells were flying, grunts and cries echoed through the battlefield, and barely two minutes into the fight blood splattered on Albus's boots. He flicked it off, his eyes still searching and his wand still moving, throwing charms in front of his own, and stunning the enemies.

Then he felt Voldemort behind him. Felt rather than saw. He turned around slowly, and almost shivered. The man looked worse than when he last saw him. His eyes were blood red, and his black hair was stark against his grey-white skin. He stood taller than Albus, but not by much. He was thin, and dressed like it wasn't the middle of winter in thin silk robes. But if you were so evil, what was a little cold to you?

Albus smiled at Voldemort casually. 'Nice to see you again Tom,' he said patiently, his wand hand trembling ever so slightly.

He found a little joy in seeing the way Voldemort's eyes tightened and his face constricted, becoming uglier if possible. During his childhood, he had been so handsome, Albus thought sadly.

Voldemort laughed. 'The last time you will see me as a free man Dumbledore, so be sure to enjoy it.' He replied. Then he swirled his wand around over his head, sinking like a tiger, into a duelling stance, shooting a snake of fire at Albus, who deflected it in a rather bored manner.

Way to fuel a crazy dictating wizard, by acting indifferent and bored. This spurred Voldemort on even more. He roared another spell. And the fight between the two most powerful wizards in Britain, in the _world_ began

Fabian loved to battle near the constant touch of his twin brother. He hated to be far away in case something happened. Fabian would never say it aloud but his twin was the most important person in his life.

His shoulder brushed Gideon's, and they exchanged grins. Dolohov was a hard man to battle, especially when he threw such a curse at Fabian that he staggered back. He straightened up, pretending to be distracted and noting the triumphant grin on Dolohov's hideous face. Then Fabian threw all the energy he had into screaming, 'EXPULSO!'

Dolohov flew backwards with speed, colliding with a battling Auror and Death Eater.

Crouch slipped in front of Fabian, twirling his wand with a bored expression. 'You gave me a detention once,' said the young man, with a rather sad tone to his voice. 'And you weren't even a prefect.'

'Shame, here's another one —' He let out a cry as he threw all the magic he had into the spell, slashing his wand and diving into the sharp, hard battle with the betraying little toad, Barty Crouch Jr.

Clashes of light flickered through the dull skies, and the sun beamed down at them, peeping fuller into view. The air was cackling with the electricity of the power resonating. The sounds of grunts and screams and spells hitting spells filled the air. One loud shriek echoed long after it was uttered, Fabian looked quickly at the direction it came from a shivered, seeing Alector Carrow on the floor. She was dead.

His attention though was quickly stolen when he almost fell back, his twin Gideon barely turning around as he propped Fabian back up, nudging gently.

But perhaps the most interesting fight was going on down in the tunnels. Frank had actually resorted to Muggle fighting, punching a Death Eater in the face, kicking his crown jewels and then binding him up with wires before finally transporting him to the edge of the sewage opening to await arrest, if their side ever won that was.

Every few seconds he would look up at Remus, fighting three cowering Death Eaters all alone. The snarls coming from the werewolf were petrifying, and the power radiating from him was frightening. One of the Death Eaters fell to the floor, clearly dead. Remus was about to destroy the other two when Bellatrix slipped into his sight, demanding Remus's attention.

She looked radiant, even in the flickering illumination of the spells being cast. Her striking eyes were dancing with excitement and her stunning body trembled with anticipation. She cried, 'AVADA KEDAVRA!' but Remus stepped aside from it like a tortoise had come running at him. 'CARNIFICINA!' she cried again, but with a bat of his wand the spell collided with another Death Eater, who fell and started writhing in agony.

Her eyes twinkled and she licked her lips hungrily. 'Wanna play lickle wolfie?' she whispered, cackling and shooting a Killing Spell at Remus, who thanked the heavens it was the day before a full moon and moved easily from the spell.

Remus didn't even feel like casting any spells at her. He wanted to watch _her _play. He wanted to exhaust her and tire her out, only then would he be able to win. Bellatrix roared and sent a sharp ring of reddish blue flames his way; he managed to dodge most of it but was licked by the bright fire on his face. Remus growled; actually, he thought, fuck playing her around, he was going to get this bitch _hard!_

Remus grunted, 'ELICERE DOLOR!'

It hit its target and Bellatrix screeched in agony; the spell was after all translated as "to elicit pain," or "to extract pain". But her screech turned into a chuckle and she grinned, bracing her wand and aiming it at Remus.

'You know how to play,' she cried, throwing her head back and laughing. 'Let's see if you can play better than your pathetic friend Peter,' she whispered his name and licked her lips, the spells resonating around them lighting up her face.

Near full moons Remus often found that his emotions, like his reflexes and power, were heightened. And the mention of Peter hurt so much more than it usually did. A whine escaped Remus's mouth. He bared his teeth and growled.

'Why don't you shut up and show me how you play?' his deep voice commanded, flicking a spell at her that sent her staggering into the side of the tunnel and tripping over a Death Eater. Remus stared down at her, pointed his wand. Just as he was about to chop her head off, maybe pull her heart out, or even just petrify her, she grinned at him arrogantly and disapparated but not before shooting a perfect Killing Curse, colliding with an Auror who fell dead.

'Shit!' he cried, looking around, but all he could see in the dimness of the tunnel were the silhouettes of the battling wizards and witches. Remus looked down when he stepped on a hand and his heart jumped out of his chest; it was Jennifer, clearly dead.

Smiling at him was Avery, pointing at the dead body and then himself. An ominous snarl came out Remus's mouth as he launched himself forward at Avery, praying to God the bastard would hit his head and die.

Albus wasn't as young as he used to be. He couldn't move as quickly as Voldemort, nor could he take as many spells, but he tried and succeeded in preventing Voldemort from winning quickly. Of course, he would have to lose. But maybe it would be better if he gave up quickly, so more Aurors and Order members survived; after all Voldemort wouldn't kill them. He would just lock them up.

But it wouldn't be as realistic; Voldemort would never believe Albus could lose in the first two hours of a battle. He would see the ulterior motive behind it, and the whole plan would fall to pieces.

Albus stumbled a little as he took the brunt of a Rejection Curse. Made for rejecting all the hope inside him, as well as actually rejecting him physically. It was a powerful spell, and Albus was rather proud he hadn't flown all the way across the battlefield like Voldemort had intended. His hope and faith however, they dwindled.

'Indolesco,' whispered Voldemort. Then he cast another spell non-verbally. All Albus could feel was pain, but he fought through it and sent a ring of fire washing over Voldemort, who emerged from it with a splatter of water.

Albus didn't speak the spells he cast, preferring to grasp that split-second advantage non-verbal spells gave, though they did require a hell of a lot of concentration and willpower. Albus made the ground shake, forcing everyone within a fifty metre radius of him to stagger and lose concentration. A pro for both the good side _and_ the bad side.

Albus knew if he wanted, and if he gave up on his plan on surrendering he could escape this battle mostly unscathed, saving all the witches and wizards on his side. He was sorely tempted to do so especially when he saw Emmeline Vance fall to the floor, dead and with blood seeping out of her hard and fast.

But it wouldn't save the whole of Britain forever. It would only help Britain for now. He heard Moody roar when Vance fell lifeless to the ground, screaming 'CORRIPIO COLLUS!'

Then there was light from the powerful Head-Auror's wand illuminating the whole of the battlefield. With sickening vigour, the spell sliced open Gibbon's neck and killed the man in an instant.

During that moment of distraction Voldemort, ever the one to play dirty, sent a wave of magically conjured daggers hurtling towards Albus. He barely managed to deflect them in time, but was still pierced in the calf with one of them.

Albus cried out, sinking a little. His chest started hurting, and he found it harder to breathe. This was it, soon he would lose. But he had to hold out for longer, he had to do this for them. He was already betraying his own side so much; he had to do this for them.

'GO, REMUS GO! GET HIM! SAVE HIM! WE'LL KEEP THESE ONES BACK—' Frank managed to shout before he was thrown back by a strong Rejection Spell.

Remus looked around; they already had two dead Aurors. And four more Death Eaters to defeat. If Remus carried on fighting, they might never get Sirius. He ran as fast as he could, and Remus was the fastest of the Marauders. But now, with his heightened wolf senses, he was like a broomstick.

He barged past one of the Death Eaters, and threw another six feet into the air, colliding the small man with a third Death Eater, both of them falling unconscious on the floor.

The route seemed to go on for ages, and no one crossed paths with him the whole time. He had to rely heavily on his smell and eyesight to lead him through correctly. After maybe twenty minutes, he tripped on some almost invisible staircase and looked up, seeing some sunlight.

Remus pulled himself up the stairs, gasping for air. When he finally got out, he was greeted with two Death Eaters, waiting patiently for him. Remus groaned, relishing in their fragrance and opening his mouth, showing his slightly elongated and sharp teeth with blood already on the tips.

One of the Death Eaters stumbled back. 'Vampire,' he breathed.

Remus stood up, pocketing his wand and cracking his knuckles. He tilted his neck, revelling in the satisfying crack. Then he licked his lips, meeting the eyes of the Death Eaters. 'Guess again,' he snarled, leaping forward. It must have been ten minutes, but they were both dead; well one of them was, the other was close to following if no one found him in the next hour.

Remus spat their mixed blood out of his mouth and pulled some skin from his fingers. He knew he would hate himself in the morning, he would feel disgusted for killing people using his lupine devices, using strength when he knew the victims couldn't fight back.

If he had used a wand then maybe they could have beaten him, it would have been a fair fight. And maybe if Remus was fighting for his own life, he would have played a fair fight. But this was for one of his best friends, Sirius Black. And he'd be damned if his friend died simply because he wanted to be honourable and play fair.

Remus burst through the door. The first person he saw was Snape, and before the man could say a spell, Remus cast a strong one, 'EXPULSO!' which sent the man tumbling through a wall, landing in a horrid position. Remus knew Snape was better at duelling then him, but with the adrenaline racing through him, Remus felt invincible.

He ran as fast as he could, kicking out at a witch, who fell, her mask slipping from around her face. Narcissa Black ... Hmmm.

Jumping four steps at a time, Remus was on the third flight, the attic door stretched out in front of him; so close, when Bellatrix came out. Her heels echoed softly, and she had a delicious smile on her face. She signalled for Remus to follow, who nimbly obeyed her orders and trailed after like a lost puppy. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he battled with himself to think this through, to ponder on whether or not this was a trap.

Bellatrix opened the door of the attic, and Remus was greeted with the sounds of shouting coming from inside. A voice he missed so much, Remus never knew he could long this much for a voice.

' ... BETTER TELL ME NOW BELLATRIX YOU DAMN TART! WHAT THE _FUCK _IS GOING ON OUTSI...' Sirius stopped talking, his eyes widening as he saw Remus standing behind Bellatrix. She walked into the room, not stopping until she had a hand on Sirius's shoulder.

Remus felt a little queasy. The man was skinny, skinnier than Remus anticipated; were they not feeding him? Already, Padfoot looked like he had lost a significant amount of weight; and hope. He was barefoot, drops of blood on his feet and dressed in a pair of black trousers, the same ones from the night he had been captured. His chest was a mess, bones bulging out, skin covered in black bruises and half healed cuts with litres of dried blood coating his skin.

One of his forearms was bright red, and Remus could see something pale, shivering and slithering on the red skin of the forearm.

Remus's face split into an anguished frown. There were thick, heavy silver manacles on Sirius's arms and legs, keeping him chained to the wall. His hair was filthy, matted with blood and sweat, and his face was ash white, sporting a split lip and watery eyes. He looked so _sad._ It hurt Remus's heart. It _broke _Sirius's heart.

'Moony,' breathed Sirius, leaning forward subconsciously. Bellatrix slapped his face so hard his lip split open again, and Sirius recoiled, groaning softly.

'Bitch,' he murmured, licking the blood on his lips hungrily.

Remus snarled and bared his teeth, flashing his bloody and sharp teeth at Bellatrix, who simply smiled at him, tilting her head and gesturing for him to come forwards.

The young werewolf kept his wand pointed at Bellatrix whilst he walked through the doorway, whilst he _attempted_ to walk through the doorway. A shriek louder than any commotion going on outside left his mouth. He was thrown back, colliding hard with the wall and falling to the ground with a smack. Remus started hyperventilating, looking back to the doorway and seeing a shimmer of gold before it became transparent again.

'REMUS! REMUS!' he could hear Sirius crying.

Remus got up on shaky legs, looking back through the doorway at his friend, eyes wide, betraying the pain and fright he was feeling. Remus wanted to hug him, wrap his arms around Padfoot and tell him about the small boy waiting for him. He wanted to promise Sirius Rose was back, that his loyal and loving girlfriend was waiting for him.

He had so much good news. And yet he couldn't get through to tell him, to reassure him.

With more vigour and with as much power as he could muster he threw himself through the door firmly. But he was thrown back, this time harder. Remus whimpered out in pain, barely managing to right himself and approach the door. When he saw Bellatrix's triumphant grin, he screamed in untamed fury.

'WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?' roared Remus, looking at Bellatrix with bloodlust in his eyes and insatiable fury. Bellatrix pretended she wasn't scared, but Sirius could feel her trembling a little in fright.

'The Dark Lord expected something like this—'

'WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? WHAT'S HAPPENED TO THE DOOR? GET ME THROUGH! GET ME THROUGH _NOW!_'

Bellatrix's lip trembled. 'I'm not going to tell you how to pass, you filthy werewolf,' she hissed the word with disgust and contempt, spitting at the floor with repulsion gleaming in her eyes.

'She doesn't know,' replied Sirius quietly, his eyes now leaking tears. He was so close, and yet so far. 'She's pretending she knows, but she doesn't know how to get you through anymore than you do.'

Bellatrix gripped a fistful of Sirius's hair and pulled his head back until it was facing the ceiling. She pressed her lips to his ear. 'Shut up, blood traitor,' she sneered, throwing his head forward and smiling when she heard his groan. 'I know more then you think, I know that only someone with a _Dark Mark _can pass through into this room.'

Remus gripped his hair, his heart hurting the most it ever had. How could he just leave Sirius here? How could he just go after all the effort they put in trying to get him? How could Remus leave someone who meant so much? He suddenly wished he had a Dark Mark, a wish he never thought he would want.

Abruptly, the house started to tremble and shake. 'Go Remus, GO!' cried Sirius, longing to join his best friend.

'Yes go, or else you'll die. He's not coming out, so run whilst you can.' She whispered, trailing kisses from Sirius's cheek to his temple. Remus watched with fury as Sirius shivered and she tugged his hair harder.

There were screams outside, the loudest they had been and Remus wondered what was happening. And then—

Total silence. For seconds he strained his ears as hard as he could, but he could hear nothing. Then Remus's eyes clashed with Sirius's sad silver ones and he felt his heart pine.

Sirius nodded. 'Go, you can't get me out, so go Moony, go,' he whispered the last word with a longing and a sadness that no one would ever be able to fathom.

'No, no I won't do that to you—' He was about to jump at the wall when Sirius shouted for him to stop.

'No Moony, you need to go, you'll _die_ if you don't...'

Moony looked stuck between the two choices. He glanced once more at his friend in apology, 'I'm so sorry Paddy, I'm so sorry. We'll come back for you, _I'll _come back for you!' he whispered before bolting, as fast as he could. But there was still hope! Maybe if he got Dumbledore in time then Sirius could be saved.

He skidded on some spilt blood on the floor, and he almost collided with Snape, who grabbed his arm roughly and dragged him to a wall, pushing him towards a secret door that hadn't been there before.

'Get in there you fool! Dumbledore's not coming back, so _go!_' he hissed, his eyes popping. The door slammed behind him and after a brief moment of confusion he ran blindly. Not because of the dark, Remus could see considerably well in the dark. No, he was running blindly with his arms out to feel his way because there were tears in his eyes, threatening to fall.

The reason Remus had heard silence outside on the battlefield when he had been back at the attic was because Voldemort had beaten Dumbledore. The scene had gone something like this:

Albus was waning, his magic was harder to force through his wand and his tired pants were getting deeper and longer and more frequent. The wound in his calf was burning, and he longed to heal it, but one moment's distraction was enough for Voldemort to beat him.

But when Albus sagged on the floor, thanks to a well placed Cruciatus Curse, he didn't care at all anymore. He had done it, he had betrayed his own side, and led Voldemort to believe this triumph was real. Of course Albus knew that Voldemort was stronger than him, but he could hold the man back for a much longer time than merely three hours.

Maybe he could even beat Voldemort, if he was fifty years younger. Albus's wand rolled out of his hand, rolling across the grass and stopping at the Dark Lord's feet.

The Dark Lord stared for a moment and then let out a triumphant screech. Everyone – yes, everyone – turned to look. What they saw was as rare as a blue moon.

Albus Dumbledore, perhaps one of the most powerful and influential figures in Britain, was defeated and wounded at the Darkest Lord's feet. Immediately, the Aurors and Order members dropped their wands, falling to their knees.

It was what Albus had told them to do if he should lose, he told them to give up and surrender. That was what they were doing. They still followed through with his wishes, and he was honoured to have ever met a group of such brave men and women.

The Death Eaters started cheering and celebrating whilst Voldemort just stood there, his eyes down at the wand near his feet with a look of amazement. He had never dreamed in his wildest fantasies that he may win against Dumbledore, in a battle like this.

Dead bodies littered the battlefield, some Death Eaters and some from the other side. He would hang the dead bodies up in the Ministry as a warning. Because the Ministry was his now, the only person standing in his way had been Albus Dumbledore, and the Muggle-loving fool was at his feet, kneeling.

Voldemort cleared his throat, still dazed. 'Kneel before me, Death Eaters, much like the Auror fools are, like the Order fools are. Kneel before your Lord.'

Crouch was the first one to jump down, his forehead touching his knee as if he were praying. Everyone else copied. There was a furious grunt from Moody, but no one said anything as Voldemort stood before them all, his arms open and a triumphant, ecstatic smile on his face.

He laughed a throaty, serpentine laugh for seconds – it was quiet and breathy and they all waited in anticipation. The audience watched with wide eyes as he leaned down and seized the wand off the floor. It was a handsome, old looking wand.

Voldemort looked down at Albus Dumbledore, with his wide blue eyes and that infuriating twinkle in his eyes. With a flick of his yew and phoenix feather wand, Voldemort destroyed Albus's wand. A shower of pale ashes fell; most of it swept by the breeze into the air and off to the skies.

There were gasps from everyone, and a sigh from Albus as he watched his last connection to Gellert Grindelwald, the only person he had ever truly loved, dissolve into the air. The elder wand was gone now.

Voldemort laughed once more, victorious amongst all. He was the conqueror. 'Aut Vincere aut Mori.' * He whispered in his silky voice laughing again before calling it out for all to hear. 'AUT VINCERE AUT MORI!' Then Voldemort pulled up his sleeve, careful to cover the horrendous white Dark Mark etched into his skin from all eyes.

He licked his finger and pressed it, forgetting about the whole issue with the Dark Mark in the first place.

The pain was unimaginable, and a loud grunt left him as he sagged, almost falling. But above all, they could hear the shriek from Sirius Black, louder then even an explosion, resonating through the whole of the land. Every pair of eyes, Voldemort's, Albus's, Moody's, even Crouch Jr's flickered to the open window at the top of the house where the shriek had come from. That shriek was what set everything off.

Sirius didn't know how to describe what he felt, but it was almost like one hundred Cruciatus Curses had been placed on him. His shriek worried Bellatrix, and she staggered back, scared in case he did something. She saw the white Dark Mark on his forearm, gasped and watched it flicker between black and white.

Sirius himself was stuck in a wonderland of pain. And when he opened his eyes, it wasn't through his own but through Voldemort's. He could see Dumbledore down at Voldemort's feet (though for a moment it seemed to Sirius as if they were his own). Sirius could see through Voldermort's scarlet eyes the clusters of Aurors and Order members on their knees, now trying to escape, and most of them succeeding.

He saw the bowed down Death Eaters jumping up to try and stop them from escaping. Sirius could feel the emotions Voldemort was feeling; the hatred and anger aimed at Albus, the triumph and the ecstasy at finally managing to beat the Headmaster, and the worry at the white Dark Mark and the strong pain it was still inflicting.

Suddenly, almost like a shield had been thrown at him, Sirius was rejected from the mind. He opened his eyes to see he was back in the attic, and he hadn't gone anywhere. He started gasping for breath, fidgeting inside the manacles.

_What had just happened? What had he just done?_

Bellatrix had just looked out of the window at the struggling Death Eaters and leapt out of the room, sliding down the corridor and out of sight.

Sirius didn't care. He was too consumed in the fact that he had just seen through Lord Voldemort's mind. And it scared the hell out of him.

What did that mean? The Dark Mark was a connection to Lord Voldemort? The Dark Mark could allow him to see whatever he wanted to see. Sirius didn't know whether that was a good thing, but he knew it would be pretty fucking useful.

He licked his lips in anticipation and revelled in the pain the mark was giving him, savouring it. This was his ticket out of here. It burned a little harder.

_xo _

The morning sun streamed through Sybil Trelawney's window. But she didn't care as she slumped, falling off of her desk chair, scattering the essays she had to mark for fourth years, and spilling a small pot of ink, her quill stabbing her in the thigh. She started breathing in deeply, her eyes streaming with tears as her body started trembling.

Her breath came out deep and low, and her voice transformed into a deep and possessed voice; like a devil had taken her soul and replaced it with his own fragmented one.

'_He shall replace the place of the boy he loves most. The boy who competes with another he does not know. He shall look the sparkling red eyes with his own sparkling eyes of grey, and he shall challenge. He shall battle against the Lord of Darkness, destroying that which destroyed his beloved brother. He shall tremble as he holds part of a soul darker than his own, a soul almost as powerful as his own. _

'_A look into the mind of Time, another for the Power's heart and the final for a glance through Evil's eye; he shall try to devour what in turn, devoured him. And his wolf, his stag, his rat shall triumph with him. His wolf, his stag, his rat shall help as the dark moon waxes over them. But the paths they take determine the win. The paths they take will be their Fall, or their Rise. In the name of love, they hope to Rise. Only in the name of love, may they ever Rise.' _

Almost like waking up from a trance, Sybil looked around her, dazed. She got up, brushing her robes and clucking her tongue in annoyance, momentarily wondering why and how she had gotten on the floor. Only moments ago she had been marking some essays.

'I am just so clumsy!' she sighed, pulling the quill out of thigh with a grunt.

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><p><em>AN: Was this chapter action-y enough? I tried to make it full of action, and may I just say it was a blast writing Remus, he's ever so interesting to write as. He was very challenging, but I was inspired by when Greyback bit Bill Weasley before a full moon and gave him wolfish characteristics. _

_Luna is Latin for moon for those who do not know and 'Aut Vincere aut Mori' means 'Either Conquer or Die'._

_Tell me what you thought!_

_Take care _

_xo_


	23. The Repercussions

_Disclaimer; don't own HP unfortunately, it's all J.K. Rowling's, the amazing woman! Just the OCs and the plot thanks!_

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><p><em>xoxo <em>

_23. The Repercussions_

_Twenty Eighth of December,_

_Radio report from the WWN, almost twenty three hours after the failed rescue mission. _

'... that Albus Dumbledore's whereabouts, now ex-headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, is currently unknown. A warrant was passed to search his home and his office as the Ministry are looking for him in hopes to retrieve urgent information. This search was granted by the newly instated Minister of Magic, Lucius Malfoy who has replaced the late Minister ...'

_A newspaper report in the Witches Daily Findings. _

_From a Sinister Minister, to an Inexperienced One?  
>Written by Antony Belpre,<em>

'One of the worst and most unpopular Minister of Magic to have ever lived, Struton Bodewell, has now been confirmed dead through the means of dark magic. Many believe the perpetrator of this is none other than Albus Dumbledore, ex-headmaster of Hogwarts. As well known, Dumbledore has been offered the position as Minister twice now, but declined each time. Perhaps Dumbledore killed Bodewell to finally retain the position he has hitherto declined? Perhaps Dumbledore has been painting pictures of the cruel Death Eaters when in reality, he is the only cruel one as many are pointing out and questioning.

'Lucius Malfoy has now been instated as Minister of Magic, a worthy choice. On the other hand Malfoy has had no experience in the Ministry, and has most probably retained this position through the incredible family name he holds and the connections he has with Wizarding politics and the Ministry. Malfoy has a wife and a one year old son...'

_Up-to-date radio broadcast. _

'The Aurors are murderers! They have hunted innocent people, only a small selection of said civilians under the suspicion as Death Eaters. But they had no proof! And now some of the Aurors have died, and in turn, many innocent civilians have died. All under the pretence that Sirius Black was locked up in the Malfoy Manor, namely the home of our new Minister of Magic.

'What preposterous lies has Dumbledore been feeding us? And most importantly, why have we fallen for it? Why have we sucked up the lies thrown at us like starving snakes? And now, where is our saviour? WHERE is Dumbledore now? He is hiding, hiding from us and from the law and rightly so. He has shamed us all, and most importantly, he has shamed the school he has worked in for almost seven decades.

'Perhaps this new headmaster Severus Snape will do better? Having never worked in the school before, we are hesitant to see if he can do better then that traitorous wizard. That traitorous wizard who now has the blood of dozens on his hands. But maybe the Aurors deserved it? They are there to protect, not be the ones needed protecting from! The Aurors have failed us. Dumbledore has failed us...'

_Article from the Daily Prophet. _

_Twenty ninth of December,  
>The Marauders go Marauding,<br>By Lola Skeeter, _

'For months now, these four boys from Hogwarts have been painted in a good light. Remus Lupin, the Head of Investigations and Tracking has proved to be a rare gem, aiding in over a dozen successful captures and over two dozen investigations, confiscating dangerous and dark instruments. Never would anyone guess he was a werewolf, more so would they ever guess he was capable of killing five innocent men and women with his bare hands, the night before the full moon. Anyone who meets him claims him to be an friendly and kind man, but surely they don't know him at all. Surely they don't realise he is not a man?

'James Potter, if possible, held in even higher regard than Lupin, has proved to be a liar and an evil crook. Potter is famous for being from the Potter lineage, with good connections and plenty of money. His Mother and Father were huge contributors to Hogwarts and other charities, as well as Potter passing school with flying colours and promising the magical community prosperity. But Potter has been on the run, with his wife and son, for two months now. The Ministry has been looking for Potter, who has been revealed, thanks to eye witnesses who have hitherto been too afraid to admit that he is in fact the true murderer of the McKinnon family. And because of that, he now has the Dementor's Kiss meeting him when he is caught.

'Peter Pettigrew is often known as the follower of the three dominant characters in their schoolboy gang. Many people believe to know Pettigrew, saying he is harmless, and has never hurt a fly in his life. But attempted murder, rape and theft are not known as harmless. Pettigrew has tried twice now to kill Lucius Malfoy, whom he believes is the reason for all of his troubles.

"Peter Pettigrew?" asked Minister Malfoy during an interview. "Of course I remember him, how could I forget? He would have killed me, nearly did, had my wife not entered. Many people believe Pettigrew is kind and shy, but they don't know him one bit."

'Indeed, Peter Pettigrew is not what most think him to be. But perhaps the most enigmatic, the most brutally misunderstood, is Sirius Black. Famed for the family he comes from, deep in the roots of dark magic and cruelty, Black is legendary for gaining in the Auror ranks in the fastest time and for capturing the most Death Eaters in the August raid. However, how different is he from those very Death Eaters? Perhaps the reason he _has _been most successful is because he knows who and what they are?

'How can we really trust Black? His family are notorious for their malice and brutality towards "blood traitors", "Muggles" and most importantly "Mudbloods". How are we to know he is different? Black has been missing as long as the Potters, signifying that he too, has something to hide. And he does. Black was Potter's accomplice in annihilating the McKinnon family, for being "blood traitors" but what do we know of this? Eye witnesses and Spell Tracing Charms once again.

'But what penalty can we use to ensure that the werewolf, the murderer, the fake and the liar never do this again? How can we stop these Marauders, these villainous, wicked Marauders and make sure they never do this again? Marauders, in the old tales of pirates and looters and robbers were killed or thrown off the boat. Well, this time, we'll offer them a kiss. An infamous, frightening, terrifying kiss. The Dementor's Kiss. And Lucius Malfoy promises five hundred thousand galleons for each Marauder caught. Maybe only then will justice be served.'

_"Where is Justice" article, an extract from a newspaper,  
>By Tommy Milligan, <em>

'Why can no one see? Why is everyone blaming the Marauders, or Dumbledore, or even Bodewell? Why can no one see that the problem here is the same problem from a year ago? From five years ago? The problem is of course the tyrant, the dictator, the psychopath He Who Must Not Be Named.

'Because of Dumbledore's absence, we long for an outlet, someone to put all of this blame on. It is publicly known that Sirius Black went on a dangerous mission, so why is he branded as a criminal, as someone with wrong doings lined up in his history? Let us not blame Black for his family! Let us not blame Potter for staying out of the public eye! Let us not blame Lupin for a condition he can not help, for accusations that are blatant lies. Let us not blame Pettigrew for being shy, for being used as a scapegoat.

'Why can no one see? Why has everyone sucked up the lies the Death Eaters have fed us? About our heroes, and our respected public figures. After all, our very own Minister seat has been filled by a Death Eater, and now we sit idly by whilst our community, our country withers away. And it has only been a few days. I propose we try our hardest to stay resilient and hard against these new laws being made, these restrictions being proposed. I think we should try our hardest to not let these Death Eaters get away with ruining our country. With ruining us.'

_Tommy Milligan was found dead three days after his article was posted, a supposed burglary. _

_xo _

_Twenty Seventh of December; a few hours after the Malfoy Manor Battle._

'PRONGS!' an anguished voice bellowed distantly. The voice had been coming from the right of the house, loud and hard. Probably from near the benches. It had been screaming blindly for the best part of twenty minutes, but only now was it close enough to jolt James out of his little nap (it was only half four) and all but run to the window. The sun was setting, and the skies were a dull, dreary dark blue.

Squinting his eyes, James looked around. He couldn't see anything. He opened the window and stuck his head out, and sure enough, he could see a stumbling figure calling blindly. The tall slender figure appeared to be injured and was favouring his left side. The voice started calling deliriously again. 'PRONGS!'

_Moony. _

James ran to the front door, slipping on the mat and almost falling. He wrenched the oak door open, barefoot and not dressed for the slight frost on the ground, he ran, looking much like someone walking on hot coals. When he was past the front gate, James knew that he was past the spell boundary. He jogged over to Remus, who almost as if in a trance, pivoted to the noise of the footsteps, to the face of James.

With a hard and rather violent laugh, James threw his arms around Remus, sniffing the horrid sent of dirt and blood. But Remus let out a heartbreaking whimper and James dropped his arms, falling back to look at his friend.

There was blood, so much blood. His hair was covered, his clothes, his hands, _his mouth. _James breathed out in shock. Was his friend dying? There couldn't be so much blood and a life still inside. Almost like he was back in Hogwarts and playing chaser, his fast reflexes spurred him forwards and he caught his friend before he could get a face full of mud and frost. Remus, being an inch or two taller, and extremely muscled, was very heavy to James, who, during his haze of excitement, had left his wand behind and had to carry his friend.

Dragging the werewolf and stumbling past the small red fence and across the threshold, James started screaming. He looked at his hands, scarlet with blood, and his shirt, dripping crimson onto the floor. Remus looked dead, and James started screaming hysterically again.

Lily ran hard and urgently down the stairs, three at a time, her wand out and her eyes wide and frantic. 'Remus?' she breathed in disbelief.

'Help me,' whimpered James, on his knees before his friend. Both he and Lily managed to put the slumped, bloody body onto the sofa. James barely sighed in relief when he felt the thumping of Remus's wavering heart.

'It's okay Remus,' he whispered, getting his wand from the table and ripping the robes and the shirt open, revealing a bleeding and bruised torso marred with older scars. 'Stay with me Moony, stay with me,' he all but pleaded. There was tenderness as he healed the smaller cuts whilst Lily made some potions to help him; like Blood Replenishing Potions and Energy Elixirs – easy and quick to make.

'Hurry!' James cried just as Rose burst into the room, her son in her arms and a shower cap on. She looked wildly around, linking the drops of blood on the floor and the carpet to the slumped body on the sofa. She staggered back in shock, opening and closing her eyes more than once.

'Remus?' she breathed, stepping closer and moving back with a shiver. 'Wh-what happened? W-where's S-Sirius?' Her eyes were already welled up with tears and she bared her teeth. 'Why isn't S-Sirius h-h-here?'

_Padfoot. _

How could James forget about Sirius? But no, he should think about Sirius later. Right now he needed to heal Remus! 'Rose, pass that Medi-kit over there!' his voice came out harsh. Her hands were shaking as she passed the small box over. With frantic wide eyes Rose watched James rip out the small bottle of Dittany and drip small drops into the deep cuts on his face and his hands.

'_Vigilantibus!'_ James hissed, and slowly, tiredly, Remus's eyes open. They were a little puffy, and his breathing came out in gasps and puffs. 'Moony,' whispered James, touching his friend's chin hesitantly and smoothing his hair. 'Moony, you're okay, don't worry mate, you're okay ... what happened?'

Remus was croaking, and it took James several minutes to realise what the werewolf was asking for. After James sharply ordered her, Rose came back into the room with a glass of water, most of it ending up on the floor.

Like he was a starved man, Remus gulped it down in one big swallow, some ending up on his chest and washing away the blood. When James refilled it, he propped up Remus's head and quenched the man's thirst for him.

Remus sagged back down, shivering and gasping. 'J-J-Jam-Ja...' His teeth were chattering so hard, James could barely understand him.

'Hush,' he said, shifting on his aching knees and smoothing Remus's dirty, matted hair. 'Don't worry, tell me later,' his voice was quiet and tender, when inside he was quivering. What on earth had happened? But he had to wait. He had to be patient.

Remus sagged back into the now ruined sofa and his eyes shut, a yawn escaping his mouth. They woke him up after twenty minutes to take both the potions, and though the Energy Elixir gave Remus the power to breathe easier, and to shift his body more without as much pain, he still remained asleep. James sat on his knees next to the sofa near Remus's head, ready to get his friend anything he needed.

Never in the whole of James's friendship had he seen the werewolf looking so hurt and desperate and in danger. Remus was not a violent person, which meant that those Death Eaters had beaten the fuck out of him.

And Sirius wasn't here. Sirius had not been rescued successfully. What hurt the most was how excited James was, how much he was anticipating the return of his friend. How _thrilled _he had been at the possible return. He was so excited to present Sirius with SJ, to show Sirius how safe and mature Harry had gone, to show how mature _he _had gone.

It hurt now, it hurt. The dread settled into James, weighing him down like someone had balanced a boulder on his shoulders.

It must have been seven or eight when Remus woke up, his body drooping with exhaustion and pain. He woke up to James, his best friend, mopping his face with a wet tea towel. James smiled hesitantly at him when he saw he was awake.

Remus groaned and beckoned for a glass of water, or one glass that was refilled nine times. He settled into a more comfortable position as his face was mopped for him. He whimpered when the towel slid past a particularly sharp cut, that had hitherto remained disguised by the scarlet mass on his face and clumped matted hair.

'Sorry, I hadn't seen it,' James's quiet voice said. Two drops of Dittany and the two edges of the pale skin glued together magically, sealing and leaving nothing but a pale faint line behind, that would hopefully fade.

'Thank you James,' croaked Remus, coughing gently.

James shook his head and continued mopping the blood off of his face and his neck and chest. 'You don't need to thank me ... you've lost so much blood.' He suddenly said, wiping a particularly large amount of the thick dark dried liquid.

Remus shook his head, coughing into his fist. 'It's not mine.'

James's movements stopped, as the tea towel fell to the floor. James shook his head, biting furiously on his lip. 'Liar, I can see the cuts—'

'I have half a dozen cuts, and even if I had this amount of cuts, there would be less blood. I can taste it in my mouth and on my hands and fingernails. I spilt their blood ... I'll never forget the _looks _on their faces when I bit them and ripped out their flesh ...'

James sagged down, handing the tea towel to the werewolf and watching with a distant expression. How could something as simple as a rescue mission end up causing so much havoc, killing so many wizards and witches?

'Y-you used Moony then?' James asked tentatively.

Remus nodded. 'I ... I've never felt more _disgusted _with myself. I pulled them apart; I clawed them to shreds using my hands, my _mouth_ James...' He shivered, shaking his head, and his matted thick strands of clumped hair falling into his face. 'I felt _horrible_, but it was for Paddy. I wouldn't throw this mission for my morals. I needed to save Paddy...'

James breathed in calmly, in and out through his nose. But it didn't work. He was still shocked and scared as ever. His own friend, his friend Moony! Moony would never do anything like this ... But when James had taken a look out of the window earlier, he had noticed the almost full moon.

'What happened? Moony, what the hell happened?'

Rose was sitting in the armchair, her son dozing in her arms. She was staring off in the distance, mainly because she didn't understand what the two Marauders were on about. She thought Moony was just a nickname, was he actually someone? Like Remus's split personality?

But asides from confusion, the main emotion she felt was sadness, such sadness. She'd been so excited at the prospect of Sirius returning home, but then of course she remembered how angry he would get when he saw the baby. Actually, angry was an understatement. He would very well kill her, and sometimes, she thought maybe he would; the way he would look at her when she'd done something brutally wrong.

Remus's voice turned low and urgent, and he looked them both in the eye. 'We must have been betrayed,' he croaked. 'I don't know how or who, but we were ruined. They met us in the tunnels, my team, we fought for our lives but we lost two down their. At least, the two deaths I was there for. Frank ordered me to leave, to get out of there and save Sirius but—' Remus couldn't continue, his voice broke and he shook his head.

James put a hand on Remus's knee comfortingly. 'What _happened _Remus?' he whispered in horror.

'I-I was met with ... resistance? Can I call that? As though there lives don't matter... as if they're just there to fight and die.'

'Remus...'

'I threw them as though they were nothing but dolls, I clawed at them, I blasted them apart with magic, I even bit into their flesh. I roared at them, I scared them so much. I-I don't think ... I don't think I'll ever forgive myself? They were helpless.'

James shook his head stubbornly. 'No, no,' he declared in a loud voice. 'You think if you were wandless, or with your hands tied behind your back, they would arm you or untie you to battle with? They revel in the vulnerability and helplessness of others; they use it to win.'

When Remus still stared into space with a horrified expression James forced his chin around so their eyes clashed; hazel against golden brown. He had loved Remus since the first time he saw the small fragile boy in their dorm room, folding and packing his clothes on the first night and hesitantly changing in the bathroom.

They soon found out that the only reason Remus had hidden his body from them till they found out his secret was _because _of his secret. The scars that had littered his fragile thirteen year old body had made James sick. One of the main causes of him and the others becoming Animagi; they never wanted another scar to mar Remus's body.

'It doesn't justify...'

James nodded, 'You're right. But killing itself is something that can not be justified, and they killed too.'

Remus had known since he first met James that the man had a way with words, not as talented at is as Sirius but in a way, more sincere. He frowned but didn't offer a protest.

'I think you need a bath. To scrub all of this blood—'

'The blood I spilt, yes.'

James fought the urge to roll his eyes at the altruism and philanthropy of Remus, the care he had even for enemies. A ghost of a smile still flickered over his face though. 'Yes, the blood you spilt. You'll feel better, in the meantime, Lily's cooking you something to eat.'

It was hard for Remus to get up the stairs but he had James to lean on. James was always here to help him. He set out some clothes on the bathroom rack for Remus and closed the door, but not before he heard a soft 'Thanks Prongs.'

James bit his nails raw with anxiety as he waited for Remus to finish. He had to be patient though; obviously his best friend had seen things no one should see, had experienced the horrors war brought with it. And Remus was a kind hearted man; even killing a wasp pained him.

James shivered, he knew all too well what Remus had been like; heck, he could imagine it. The scene unravelled before his eyes. Men, cowering back and shrieking like banshees, tears already forming in their eyes as Remus neared, sharpened teeth peeping from his triumphant grin and hands a little longer than they should be.

This only happened, the werewolf traits only appeared before the full moon when Remus embraced and allowed Moony to take over. And Moony had wreaked havoc. The dinner James ate was bland, or maybe his anticipation clouded out everything, like the taste of Lily's popular Sheppard's pies. After rigid, automatic bites of the Sheppard's pie, he put down the cardboard tasting food and sat still, like a hawk.

Remus walked into the small dining room, still favouring his left side but smelling and looking fresher than he had before. His face had resumed its shy handsomeness, and he looked less feral and wild.

He looked more human. It pained James to think it, but it was true.

Lily rushed into the room, kissing Remus's forehead softly and setting half the damn tray of her Sheppard's pies on a large plate in front of him. He looked at it, and tucked in. He ate like he usually did; no elbows on the table, and a napkin on his lap, but he bit the fork with such ferocity you could tell he was ravenous.

Lily started whispering consoling, caring things. 'Remus, you don't know how brave you've been. Don't blame yourself, especially when the moon is so close to being full. Please don't blame yourself, look what you've done for us. We might not have gotten Sirius, but we can try again.'

Moony had already finished almost all of the food on his plate. He set the knife and fork down, wiped his mouth, drank his water and then buried his face in his hands.

He was shaking his head hard and passionately. 'No, no we can't try again,' his voice was devastated. 'We lost. Voldemort won, he won a few hours ago. He's taken control. He's won.'

James and Lily exchanged confused and startled expressions. 'Just because you didn't rescue Sirius doesn't mean—' Lily started, but Remus's level, almost cold voice interrupted her.

'No. He defeated Dumbledore. When I came out of this tunnel Snape pushed me in, I appeared a hundred or so metres away. And I could see it, Aurors fleeing, Order members running; Professor Dumbledore slumped on the grass at Voldemort's feet.'

Lily jumped up, running a hand through her hair and screaming out. 'We've lost? Dumbledore's gone? What are we ... How? H-how?' she hiccupped and then hiccupped again, her fists balling in anger.

James pulled her towards him, setting her in his lap and nuzzling her through his own disbelief. They were silent for moments, totally unaware of Rose's figure perched on the floor besides the door. She'd been there since Remus came down the stairs.

But like always she was ignored. Surprisingly, she wasn't that resentful. It was almost better they ignored her. She was shivering with tears, shaking her head. And when Harry came into the room, she hugged him hard, trying to squeeze out the fright she was feeling.

Her Sirius, her beautiful Sirius.

'What do we do now?' asked James after hundreds of seconds. His face was white as snow, and his lip was trembling.

'I-I ... I'm not sure. But the ones who were caught will surely be imprisoned. The dead will be used as a symbol. The headmaster's post will be filled, so will the Minister of Magic post. After they kill the current one.'

James nodded in agreement. 'The whole of Hogwarts will change, shit ... the whole of society will. Muggles and Muggleborns will be chased after ... I give it a month until everything we know changes.'

Lily shook her head. 'We need to get Dumbledore back, surely he prepared for something like this if it ever ended up happening. Surely he must have told McGonagall or _someone _what to do if Voldemort took over.'

Remus cleared this throat. 'He did. He wrote some letters for me, James, Sirius and ... Peter. He's sent Peter's but he gave the rest to me just before the mission, he told me to put them away in my pocket. To keep them on me at all times.'

And now Remus knew why, Dumbledore hadn't thought he could beat Voldemort. He knew there was a huge possibility that their side would lose, in turn being overthrown by Voldemort. And this would mean none of them could return home. They'd have to go in hiding, or end up in Azkaban.

'Azkaban...' Remus croaked in horror.

Lily covered her mouth, stifling her gasp. 'Oh God! The Dementors ... the prisoners ...'

'All out.'

James's grip on Lily's hand tightened, and her other hand froze on his face. James remembered when they would stay at Sirius's for hours, with Peter and Remus at the flat too. Lily would sit in James's lap, she would trace his face, every supple feature until he was more calm.

And right now she was doing what he needed; something familiar and calming. He leant into her touch, just as his eyes clashed with the fragile ones peeping just around the door.

Rose looked anguished; she had a question on her lips but was too frightened to ask it. So James asked for her. 'Moons, before you show the letters ... S-Sirius?' James's voice was shaky, and breaking. Like his heart was breaking.

And the mention of their beloved friend's name brought tears to Remus's eyes. He shook his head and once again buried it in his open hands.

'I-I feel ... I f-feel like I b-betrayed him...'

'Remy?' asked Lily.

'I got up to him; Frank had ordered me to go alone. Bellatrix led me, and I didn't for one moment think it could be a trap. She walked through the doorway and stood next to Sirius. _Sirius. _He was ch-chained to the wall, like a dog. He was so skinny ... and _the blood_, there was blood all over him. He looked grey; it didn't look right. And there was something on his forearm; I'm not sure what though. He looked hopeless. He looked delirious.'

James closed his eyes and bit down hard on his tongue. He tried not to picture it, but it was too late, the scene was already forming inside his head.

'Bellatrix was taunting him, taunting us. She tried to lure me in, and when I ran through the doors I felt such pain. I'm sure the fall broke some of my bones. I tried again but I _couldn't get through! _All of this for nothing. We never got him and we lost Dumbledore.'

James tilted his head in confusion. 'I don't get it, why couldn't you rescue Sirius?'

'Voldemort.' Remus spat the name with such hatred and loathing that the Potters shivered. 'You need a Dark Mark to get through.'

James jumped up so suddenly Lily was on the floor in a flash. Unimaginable fury coursed through his blood, he barely remembered kicking the table and breaking glasses and plates, and smashing chairs. But Lily stunned him, and he was damn grateful.

And when James woke up, it was to a letter on his lap and Remus's encouraging look spurring him on. James wasn't sure if he wanted to read the letter before he received the full story of what had happened this morning. He wanted to know who they lost. Who they killed. He wanted to know something good before he opened a letter revealing the bad.

But the letter contained something he hadn't expected though. It wasn't something bad. It was something good. Something very _very_ good.

_Dear James, _

_Yes, Voldemort beat me. And your disbelief at his triumph is one of the greatest compliments I could receive. It brings me great pleasure to sit down and write you a letter, knowing you are safe and well enough to read it. I would ask how Lily and Harry are, but I'll never get a return letter. _

_However, I haven't written this letter to say hello, or to ask how everything is. This letter potentially holds the life of your dear friend in your hands, much like Remus's letter and Peter's letter do. I had hoped the rescue mission would be successful, but I had suspicions that it wouldn't be. You may think it evil and horrible of me to be sending out thirty five strong witches and wizards to their potential slaughter, but then again I hoped I wouldn't lose against Voldemort. Evidently I have, otherwise there wouldn't be a need in writing this. _

_The rescue mission must have failed; I never wholly expected it to succeed. And so I've devised another back up one in case we never rescued Sirius, one more intelligent. One that will work. Voldemort would never expect a rescue mission so soon after. _

_So I have thought of a date; January the 24th. He would never expect one from three wanted wizards. A werewolf wanted for "murdering Voldemort's followers", Peter for "betrayal" and you James, for hiding your son. _

_Voldemort thinks the most important trait a person can have is whether they are powerful or not, whether they can wield magic with a wand like a samurai can wield a sword. He disregards love and often says that love is the greatest demise that could fall upon a person. We both know that isn't true. It is the love Sirius has for you and your family that protects you right now. And isn't that love, Sirius's love, the reason Voldemort can never reach you?_

_On the 24th of January, precisely a day before the full moon, you three remaining Marauders shall enter the Malfoy Manor. Peter knows his way around, he has spent a year spying on us and reporting back to that same manor. He shall know where to look and where to go. And Remus's rescue team should have located where Sirius is imprisoned. Make sure to be silent. Make sure to hide from anyone else, because if you are caught then Peter and Remus will be slaughtered, and you shall be tortured like Sirius for the whereabouts of your son or used as a hostage._

_But it shan't just be you three Marauders. Get recruits. Not wizards or witches, they don't intimidate Lord Voldemort. Magical creatures. Werewolves, vampires, trolls, giants if you can. Just a few to create a distraction whilst you three enter the house. _

_It pains me to threaten your lives, but Voldemort, day by day, is getting closer to breaking Sirius. Maybe not breaking the secret out of him, but breaking his spirit and his body and his mind. He may not be your friend in a year's time. And I fear that if Sirius does burst, which I pray he doesn't, not only will he be killed but your whole family and yourself will too. _

_I've explained to Remus, in a slightly more informative letter, of the plans he should follow through with. _

_Best of luck,  
>Albus Dumbledore, your friend,<em>

James stared at the letter. Stared at the possibility, for the first time in months, to get out and do something, anything, save someone, anyone, save Sirius. He read it again, this time picking up facts he had brushed upon.

Dumbledore wrote this letter as if he knew the plan would fail, and James was resentful. Was the whole mission Remus had just come back from nothing but a pilot? A tester? Were all those dead witches and wizards expendable to Dumbledore? But at the same time James knew that it was a necessity that they see how good Voldemort's resources are, and what wards he put up to keep Sirius.

But as a great wizard had once told James, "Nothing done for the Greater Good is great or good, that is why we use it to justify our actions."

James missed his Father.

Another reason for his resentment was the fact that Dumbledore expected Peter to come from wherever he was hiding to risk his life and save Sirius when the whole reason he went into hiding was to save his own backside. How would they find Peter? He hadn't replied to James's letter. James hadn't even expected a reply though; he sent it through Remus—'

'Remus! Did Peter ever reply to my letter?'

Remus was still only half way through his very lengthy role of parchment and looked up with tired and sad eyes. It was a long moment before he processed James's question and nodded.

'It's at home, but I don't have to energy to conjure it...' His eyes were drooping, he was so tired.

James pulled out his oak wand. 'But I can do it for you.'

_xo _

There had never been a time where Tom Riddle could keep a smile on his face. In his childhood, he had always walked around, a bitter scowl plastered over his handsome features. He hated the Orphanage, and found it hard to ever even appear indifferent let alone happy. He was always bitter. His memories of childhood even tasted bitter in his mind.

Growing up was better, Hogwarts was better. He hadn't exactly been happy all the time, but he was confident and arrogant and content. It was his first true home where he could thrive and learn and become the best he could be. His expression was usually of satisfied laziness.

Ruling over the Death Eaters brought rare smiles amongst Voldemort's face but he was still always weary and cold. But now ... now he was ecstatic. He could feel the hunger for Dumbledore that had settled in his blood the first time he laid eyes on him, surge through his body faster than a racing broom.

He walked besides Dumbledore, who limped a little but commented on pictures or possessions on tables in the halls. He was almost annoying. Voldemort said nothing but pondered on whether this happiness would be short lived.

He was also going to conduct an experiment. Using the magnificent looking glass he used to spy on Sirius Black, he was going to place Dumbledore in the room and listen to their conversation. He would have the meeting afterwards. This was slightly more important.

Voldemort knew without a doubt Dumbledore wouldn't reveal anything, but maybe Sirius would.

'Is this where I'll be staying?' asked Albus softly, looking through the doorway.

'Yes, but make sure to hold onto me Albus,' Voldemort's serpentine voice almost squealed with excitement.

'What, do I need a Dark Mark to get through? It would explain why Remus escaped your clutches empty handed.' Albus said, sliding through the door with an arm clasped on Voldemort's own. The first thing he noticed was that as soon as he clasped the Dark Lord's forearm, there was a pained hiss from both Sirius and Voldemort.

'Professor? Oh God ... no ... _no,_' breathed Sirius, shaking his head in frustration. He was chained to a wall across the room. Albus froze in front of the young man. There was dried blood all over his body, like someone had thrown crimson paint at his torso and his face. His once handsome face was still startlingly handsome, but the confidence, the arrogance had faded. His bravery was wavering, his eyes were lifeless and he looked terribly tired.

Albus felt his heart sink. Sirius was already tired of this. Albus suddenly wished that the next full moon (not tomorrow's) would hurry up. Sirius needed to be resuscitated, and what better revivers than his best friends?

'Sirius,' Albus's voice took a tender tone it usually took.

Voldemort looked almost amused ... he was amused. Extremely amused. He threw his head back and laughed. There were almost tears of mirth. He couldn't wipe the grin off his face. He felt elated. Like he could rule the world. And if he could take down Albus Dumbledore, then he could do anything. Quite literally.

Already Voldemort was going to have a meeting when they all returned, maybe an hour or so before midnight. After the surviving Death Eaters carried out their respective tasks. Lucius was already at the Ministry, with Dolohov and Bellatrix, taking care of Bodewell and replacing him. A few others were burying the dead Death Eaters, contacting their families, the likes. And finally, the largest group were in Diagon Alley, with the dead Aurors and Order members.

This was his best chance at gaining as much fright and respect and worry as he could. It was around two or three in the afternoon, and it was a Sunday. No one would be in Diagon Alley. But tomorrow they would get a rather nasty surprise. Voldemort barely managed to stifle his smile.

In the meeting he would most probably talk of Azkaban, of the Ministry, of the new laws they would pass because of Lucius's new position as Minister. Most importantly they would talk of the Order and how they would track down all of them.

It was going to be hard. But Voldemort needed to find that _werewolf_ and that damn traitorous rat. If he found them, when he found them, he would kill them as painfully as he could. They were causing too much trouble ... well the werewolf was, and soon so would Pettigrew.

Voldemort had had so much on his mind that he decided to let Pettigrew run around for a bit. He lulled Pettigrew into a false sense of security, but when he found the traitor, well he would get what he deserved.

Voldemort despised traitors, and that was what Peter Pettigrew was precisely. To both sides. Not something anyone should indulge themselves in. Only the foolish would rat out on both sides, both very powerful sides. He was a dead man walking.

Lord Voldemort waved his wand and a sofa appeared. He also sent a spell to the window and another to the door, just in case. When he looked around satisfied, he turned to face Sirius.

There was still anger inside Voldemort. For the whole Dark Mark issue. His mark was still throbbing, and it was both uncomfortable and distracting. If he could, he would turn back time and stop from doing more than three administrations; heck, he might not have given Black the mark at all.

'Enjoy your indulgence Dumbledore. I do not offer comfortable seating to my prisoners. As you can see I've demonstrated with Sirius.'

Albus shuffled over and all but collapsed, revelling in the sweet feeling that swept through his body. Albus looked over at Voldemort, tilting his head.

'But you would never chain me to a wall. You still have too much respect for me Tom. Let us be reasonable.'

Voldemort sighed dramatically, thriving in the tingly feeling sweeping through his body. 'You're right Dumbledore. I would never torture you. But I'll torture Sirius in place of you. For example, each time you call me by my old name, I'll hurt him. Just like you did now—'

'Crucio,' he flicked his wand at Sirius, who clamped his mouth down hard and convulsed painfully in the chains, blood dripping from his aching wrists onto the floor. But Sirius managed to withhold screaming. Dumbledore was here after all. The young man needed to come across as brave. Little did he know that in the eyes of his old headmaster, he was the bravest a person could be.

Voldemort cocked up an eyebrow, already his elation was wearing. Because of Black. 'You want to play this game _again_ Sirius? You want to resist again when last time the penalty you received was most ... painful?' He shot another spell, and Sirius could feel his mind wandering, seeping from him and into oblivion. Into a void, but the unimaginable pain was still there. Sirius grunted and his croaky throat let out a whimper.

'Tut-tut. You'll have to scream louder than that Sirius...'

'Fuck you,' Sirius managed to gasp, panting and heaving heavily. He tensed his body when he heard the familiar word whispered.

Another spell was cast. Finally, after about a minute Sirius gasped for breath and screamed the loudest he had in weeks. He screamed so loud Voldemort was half tempted to clamp his hands on his ears to block out the shrill, piercing sound. Then he lifted the curse and the screaming ceased.

'See, that wasn't so hard, was it? Good. I'll see you later Sirius, for our meeting together. I'm starting to really enjoy our meetings.' With a fake smile, the door shut behind Voldemort gently, and all you could hear from inside the attic was the gasping breathing of Sirius Black.

Voldemort tapped the wall nearby with his wand and entered the small alcove, seating himself before the looking glass, and peering through it.

Sirius heaved in oxygen, he needed oxygen. He couldn't breathe properly; he felt like each Cruciatus Curse cast was a curse closer to insanity. Each time Voldemort cast it he felt the effects for longer, and they carved deeper into him than they had before. The pain lasted longer.

He barely registered Professor Dumbledore nearing him, putting an arm on his freezing cold shoulder and apologising profusely. Sirius shook his head, wheezing.

'It's – not – your – fault.' He managed to say. 'Always ... does – this.'

Albus winced at the coldness of Sirius's skin. He shrugged off his robe and draped it around the young man's bare torso. Sirius nodded in thanks.

Albus felt a bit like puking. He had never felt so abhorred at the way someone so young was being treated. Sure, Albus hadn't expected them to give Sirius a five star hotel and find the man sitting on a big bed with a box of chocolates in his hands. But he also hadn't expected to see Sirius chained to the wall like a dog, underfed, blood covering every inch of him, half clothed and shivering from the bitter, blistering winter.

Albus felt so bad. He wished that the twenty fourth of January would come quicker, but it couldn't; it wouldn't. Albus started shaking his head. 'I am so sorry Sirius, truly. We tried ... we failed. They have won.'

Sirius let out a sound in between a cry and an exhale of anger. He settled for sighing. His face looked tragic; as if he found out he was Voldemort's son. 'But why? How? We were getting so strong ... before I left, we were getting so strong.'

'I know Sirius. I know. But we weren't strong enough.' Albus replied gravely. 'And now the whole wizarding world is being taken over as we speak. The Ministry will pass from the hands of Bodewell to one of Voldemort's followers. The gates of Azkaban will be ripped open, monsters, both prisoners and Dementors alike shall purge back into our world. Muggleborns and blood traitors will be hunted, they will be lusted after. Hogwarts will change. Everything will change.'

Sirius shook his head. He lowered his voice, in case Voldemort was listening in on them. 'When I get out, when I escape, I'm not giving up.'

Albus almost smiled at how brave Sirius Black was. If only his Mother could see him. She would regret every bad thing she said.

'Oh, I know you'll get out. It's only a matter of _when_.'

* * *

><p><em>AN: Because this is out quicker than it's supposed to be, please leave a review. The longest I've not updated has been a week, which on FanFiction, is a miracle. I'm still waiting for some of my favourite stories to be updated, and it's been like a year :| _

_Thanks for reading, and thank you reviewers for reviewing, leave a comment, have a good day!_

_xo_


	24. Salvage Love, Lose Love

_Disclaimer; doesn't belong to me, only the plot and the OCs. _

* * *

><p><em>xoxo <em>

_24. Salvage Love, Lose Love_

Lily's eyes were wide with disbelief. She was shaking her head, snatching the letter from Dumbledore to read it herself. She couldn't believe what James had just said.

"We need to come up with a plan then, a plan to rescue Sirius." He had said after he conjured Peter's reply (when had he even sent a letter to Peter?) and set it on the table unopened, staring down at it wearily.

Was he high? Was he drunk? Or was he just being a selfish, evil bastard. He would threaten everything to go and rescue Sirius, and as much as Lily wanted her friend, her _brother_ there with them, no way in hell was she going to risk her son's life.

Lily ripped the letter up and threw the shards of parchment onto the floor. James looked up at her as if he was only just seeing her. The expression on her face almost made him shiver.

He tentatively stood up. James reached out to take her hands but she stepped back. 'Lily?' he asked.

She shook her head, an ugly expression flickering across her beautiful face. If Dumbledore's plan failed, if the greatest wizard of Britain couldn't rescue Sirius, what the hell did James think him and two friends could accomplish?

Would he really risk Harry and SJ and herself? Was the life of one friend more important than his family? But then Lily remembered that Sirius was family to James. But regardless of whether he had to choose between family and family, he should choose the family with the most members in it!

Sirius had held out for them for the past two months, and weren't the first few weeks supposed to be the hardest? Lily gritted her teeth and moved even further from James. His eyes were wide with disbelief. 'Lily—'

'No, _no_ you can't be s-serious. You promised me, you _promised _me – ... after you l-left to get Rose y-y-you sa-said that you'd n-never ever do this again, and n-now ... now you're ...' Her sentences came out in pants and her eyes were already streaming with tears because she knew she had lost.

James was stubborn. He would do this with or without her help. Her husband took another step forward but she jumped back. 'No, don't touch me, don't try and make this seem alright—'

'Lily!' James was exasperated and frustrated now. He snapped at her, his hazel eyes gleaming darker. 'Lily, listen to me, we have a month to plan ... you haven't even given us a chance—'

As she vigorously shook her head, her long red hair flew out of her bun and pooled around her red face, making it look even more scarlet. She gnashed her teeth and took out her wand.

'No, no you _can't _do this to me and Harry and SJ ... you can't!' Her voice had taken on a hysterical note. This was it, if he did this, then Lily would leave. Or maybe she wouldn't let him back in the house. If he would do this to them, then they obviously didn't mean enough.

'You're being selfish Lily, for once in your damn life, think of someone else—' James roared but was cut off by Lily's scream.

'I AM! I'M THINKING OF HARRY! YOU'RE DAMN SON!'

James almost sagged, his body already tired with their argument. It was hard to argue with Lily; even if she was wrong she made you feel like you were the one wrong. 'I am too. I'm going to get Sirius, with the secret, and bring him back. Every day Sirius spends in there is a day closer to us being found out.'

'Weren't you the one saying he would never give us up?'

James angrily ran a hand through his hair, almost snarling at her. 'He won't give us up, I know he won't. But I don't want to take the chance. I trust him with my _life._' His eyes flashed. 'And it's not even about the secret! He's locked up with Voldemort, Lily. I'm not leaving him there. Look how much he's done for us, why won't you do something for him once.'

Her eyes widened, as if James had slapped her. 'Okay.' She said, walking around the dining table to where Rose sat near the door on the floor, holding Harry. She took him and tucked her son in her side whilst he nuzzled her neck and tugged her scarlet hair.

'Okay. Fine.' She repeated in a cold voice, turning to look at her husband. Then Lily left the room, holding in her tears until she was lying on her bed, staring up at the ceiling and cursing her husband.

James watched after her then turned to Remus, who looked both uncomfortable and bitter. Silently, James took the unopened letter and ripped the seal off, reading the writing of his old friend Peter, and waves of memories flashed in his mind. The scruffy writing was so familiar; James traced it with his index finger before he started to read.

_Prongs, _

_Am I still allowed to call you Prongs? I'm not sure of anything these days. I'm in California; I have a distant aunt there who took me in. She's a Squib and I thought maybe the Death Eaters wouldn't come after me if I stayed with a Squib. I'm surprised that none of the Order came after me. I think I deserved it. I think I didn't deserve Sirius's kindness. I guess I was wrong about him, I thought that all these years he put up with me because of you and Remus. I'm so sorry for what I've done now. _

_I have a question for you James. Do you even miss me? Pretend that you aren't locked away God knows where, would you miss me? Were you ever even sad? I got a letter from Dumbledore and I sent this as quickly as I could, it should come late at night on Boxing Day to Remus's flat. _

_Merry Christmas James. Would you mind passing on the message to Lily and Harry ... if they'd even care. I'm so happy you're safe, even though I did betray you guys. _

_I didn't feel guilty for what I had done until Sirius gave me thousands of galleons, and when I got a letter from my mum, telling me to never speak to her again – I think the Order went and talked to her. She was so mad, I felt horrified. I felt more than horrified. I hope one day she forgives me, but I don't think she will. She still hasn't even come to terms with it, but I know I've lost her forever now. _

_The letter from Dumbledore came whilst I was writing a response, so this is draft two. If only you could see how awful the first letter was. Dumbledore said things that have given me courage to talk to you like this; you're surprised, aren't you? I never spoke to you like this, but I am now._

_But I still want your acceptance; I don't want you to disregard me. Especially since I've never felt guiltier in my life. You might think I'm exaggerating but there was a period where I was even contemplating suicide. I thought that either the Order or the Dark Lord would get me, so I may as well put myself out of my misery. _

_I'm not proud of what I have done, and I want to say in response to Dumbledore's letter that there is nothing, quite literally, that could redeem me like trying to save Sirius. I owe him, as much as I owe the Order and the Aurors ... as much as I owe the Marauders. On New Year's Day I'm coming home. I thought maybe we could meet and talk about things. Possibly go for a drink? I don't want you to think I hope everything goes back to normal, but I want to explain everything I did in person. _

_I'll be waiting in that little Muggle bar we used to go to from fourth year to seventh year. Not too far from Hogwarts, remember it? The Scot's Ball. I'll see you there. And James, Prongs, Potter, whatever you want me to call you, I truly am sorry. _

_Love, Peter_

James swallowed and sagged back into his chair, nestled into it so hard he could feel the wood pressing into his skin, carving patterns. He read it again and again, and kicked himself for being such a pansy because his eyes were watering. James handed it to Remus and stared at the wall, at the spot above Rose's head.

Usually she would have said something witty, something that infuriated James so much. Rose usually would have commented on Lily and the argument, and the tensions between the married couple but instead she was staring at her hands. There was a loud cry and she jerked out of her stupor. Rose stood up and hurried out of the room to give her son whatever he needed.

After a few minutes of silence James heard her own cry, loud and heart breaking. He ran from the dining room with Remus at his heels and skidded into the lounge. Rose was standing there looking down at SJ with an expression of horror. And when James approached her, she tried to shove the baby to him. 'Take him!' she cried, tears falling down her eyes. 'Take him! I can't ... I can't l-look at him; I can't look at him knowing what I've done. I feel so _disgusting_...'

James took SJ and she gasped, looking at the Father and the child, and then hurried out of the room. He heard the slam of her bedroom door and exchanged a look with Remus. This was crazy. This whole situation, this whole day was ridiculous and crazy.

James sat down and stared at the young boy. He was over a month old. His eyes, each day, glowed brighter in his face. His features grew more prominent and his lips grew a deeper scarlet with each tick of the clock.

This boy was the most beautiful boy James had ever seen, and probably would ever see. He almost laughed whilst he tried to imagine Sirius carrying his son down Diagon Alley. Many people would probably throw themselves at the Father and son's feet, as though they were gods. And Sirius would rub it in James and Peter and Remus's faces.

'She needs help ...' whispered James. 'She's so sad, she's always so sad. She needs someone to love her.' James pictured for a second that he became that person, took care of her the way she longed to be taken care of. But it didn't make sense, not only because he had the most amazing family, but because Sirius was going to come home. In a matter of weeks, he would be back and he; _he_ could do all these things himself.

The arrogant, obnoxious, brilliant brave bastard would be back, beaming at them all victoriously claiming some bullshit about how the whole rescue was down to him, and how he summoned them using his incredible, amazing mind power.

Man, had James missed Sirius. Sometimes he would spend three weeks straight with Sirius, and come home with an awful headache and a tender stomach from all his laughing. And then Lily would tell both Sirius and James that they couldn't see each other for the next few days because they needed to have some time to adjust to normal life and to desensitise themselves.

Well James knew that if, _when, _Sirius came back he would spend every day for the next ten years with his best friend. He smiled goofily and rolled his eyes when Remus raised an eyebrow.

'I'm just thinking about how happy we'll be when Sirius gets back. Him, me, you...'

'What about Peter?' asked Remus and when James turned an angry glare on him, Remus answered it with his own. 'Look, it's late. But we need to talk about this. We can't rescue Sirius without him, you need a Dark Mark, and correct me if I'm wrong but neither of us have one.'

Remus was still irritable, and the sentence came out angrier then he intended. But James knew he was right. Just like Remus had accepted (he still hated himself so much) the fact that he had to hurt and kill those Death Eaters.

'That doesn't mean everything is going to go back to normal. You're right Rem, we do need him, but no fucking way can he think that we're friends again. That we've forgiven him.'

Remus yawned and because they were contagious, James yawned as well. They exchanged grins and the whole little dispute was forgotten, the best thing about being a Marauder. Girls tended to hold grudges over silly little things, but the Marauders never did.

Except for betrayals. They hated betrayals almost as much as they hated Death Eaters. _Almost_ as much.

'Get some sleep Moony; you look utterly shit-faced.' James said, ruffling the perfect tawny hair. Remus bared his teeth and for most people, fear was the first emotion they would feel. But James found it amusing and did it again and again until Remus nipped the skin of his hand when it shot back out to ruffle his hair again.

James burst out laughing, healing his bleeding palm with a whispered spell and hitting Remus on the head hard.

'Crazy wolf bastard,' he muttered under his breath. And then he remembered what day tomorrow was. 'We've got a cellar for you to transform in. I'll spend the whole night with you. If only Pads was here.' He didn't mention Peter partly because he hated him, but also because there was no use for Peter now. They didn't need to sneak into the Whomping Willow, and so Peter didn't need to tap the knot on the trunk of the tree.

'Thank you James,' Remus said sincerely, looking hesitantly towards the door. 'But Rose doesn't know, so h-how ... how are we going to do this?'

James thought hard for a moment and then shrugged. 'If she finds out, she finds out. And if she says anything rude or prejudiced then I'll have her out there on the streets with two galleons in her pocket and her son up here in his crib faster than she can say sorry.'

Remus shook his head. 'It's not her fault. It's the way she's been raised if she does think I'm some sort of disgusting monster.'

James stubbornly shook his head. 'You're no more a monster than me or Sirius; in fact you're even less of a monster. One day a month Moony, only one day.' James drew Remus into another hug, and he felt almost like nothing had changed. Only everything had changed and everything would continue changing.

SJ, forgotten on James's lap, started crying. He was hungry; he was very hungry. They went together up the stairs to Rose's room, where she was lying on her bed, once again flicking through the Paris photo album with a longing expression.

James looked towards the crib, and could see that the picture of Sirius they had put there was now gone. James gnashed his teeth angrily and groaned at the tears he saw on her face. He walked up to the bed and held out SJ.

'Take your son and feed him.' James ordered her.

She looked up at her son and started shaking her head. 'I-I d-don't deserve h-him,' she hiccupped, wiping the snot and the tears coating her face.

'You might not deserve him, but you fucking love him more than I've ever seen you love anyone. You should be so happy right now, so happy that we're going to rescue Sirius. You shouldn't be sitting here, sulking when you have nothing to sulk for.'

She tentatively took her son into her arms and gazed at him through hooded, adoring eyes.

'Okay,' she finally said. 'Bring him back. I'm sure when he finds out about his son and he gets so angry I won't want him here but for now, make sure you bring him home. Make sure you bring my baby home safe.'

James had never heard her speak so sincerely. He nodded. 'Of course. I'll bring him back and he'll be safe. I'd never want him hurt.'

'Goodnight then,' she said tiredly, her eyes already drooping shut as she covered her breast with a scarf and fed her son. Both Marauders left, well Remus had to push James out of the doorway when he tried to sneak a glance at Rose's impressive rack.

Then they crossed the hallway and saw, outside the master bedroom on the floor, was a pillow and a blanket and some pyjama bottoms. James gritted his teeth and snatched them from the floor, hissing under his breath.

'Bitch,' he muttered, tucking it under his arm and turning to Remus. 'I guess we're camping downstairs together then, like old times.'

Remus smiled uneasily. Was this an actual fight between them or something that occurred often? Because from the heartbroken look Lily had early and the way James was still scowling at the door, Remus could tell this was something both alien and frustrating to the couple.

He wondered what it would be like to marry someone and settle down and have children. Only one son in and they were already tired and worn from all the stress that one son had caused upon them. It wasn't Harry's fault that Voldemort was after the Potters, but Lily and James were too young to have such deep frown lines, too young to seem so sombre. They were too young to be words from their deaths.

What had happened to the James from three months ago? The carefree arrogant grin that had always been plastered on his face was now replaced by either an indifferent expression, a bored one or an angry one. And earlier, when Remus had been dragged into the house, he had caught a glance at Lily's face.

She had looked at Remus with love and worry and fright, but she had looked at James angrily. He had after all broken the promise of never leaving the house again. What if Remus hadn't been Remus but someone else? A Death Eater? Maybe Dolohov, who had roughly the same build? Or maybe Lestrange, who had similar features like the light hair and light eyes and tanned (Remus was half Italian) skin?

Remus understood what Lily meant. She didn't want her son to die because of James and his heroics. She didn't want her nephew to die, barely experiencing life. She also didn't want Sirius to die – she loved him as though they really were family.

But that didn't matter because if it were between her family and her friend, she would always choose her family. Remus was worried. Would they stay like this? And what if they didn't rescue Sirius and returned empty handed, or maybe even half a dozen Death Eaters on their tail. What would Lily do? Would she let them in?

Remus shook his head softly as he followed James down the stairs. She wouldn't let them in. Remus knew Lily wasn't a horrible person, she was amazing and beautiful and smart and funny, but she was very capable of making the tough decisions. She was capable of saying no.

'Dibs on the big sofa,' James grinned, hurrying down the stairs first and bursting into the living room. Remus sighed and followed behind, already the exhaustion of the day settling in. His limbs ached and his body felt heavy.

Remus barely had to close his eyes before he fell into a plagued, evil and hellish sleep. One he wouldn't forget anytime soon.

_xo _

Albus had never felt sadder in his life. He felt like they were torturing him. And he wasn't allowed to look away, as much as he wanted too, he was both forbidden (not that Albus followed other people's rules anyway) but his eyes also wouldn't let him. And Albus remembered what Voldemort said, if he did anything that disobeyed the man's wishes then Sirius would pay.

'Where _are _they? Just an address? Just a few words...' the grin on the evil man's face was so cold, so malicious Albus shivered. 'You can whisper it in my ear if you're too shy, boy.'

Blood had dribbled down Sirius's full lips, splattering on his already soaked and filthy chest. His eyes had rolled back in their sockets and he was quivering in his chains; the sound of metal slapping metal resonating through the room.

It took Sirius moments to gasp the words he said, 'Never – ever...' he couldn't finish the sentence, the pain taking too much of a toll on him.

Voldemort tutted, rolling the white yew wand in his hands and pointing it at Sirius. 'The wrong answer.' He whispered, hissing the Cruciatus Curse under his breath. And there it was again, that heartbreaking scream. Albus had never known a voice could be so loud, could go so high or could sound so anguished and hurt.

He had clamped his hands over his ears after the first scream, and Sirius was rewarded with another curse. It was almost as if Voldemort was showing Albus how powerful he was, how much power he commanded.

Albus licked his lips and brushed the tears dripping down onto his high cheekbones. The scream ceased, and Sirius started gasping louder. Albus looked up and the young man had, for the first time in twenty minutes, opened his eyes. He mustered the filthiest expression he could and spat blood and saliva at Voldemort's feet.

There was silence from the three Death Eaters in the room, who had been muttering and whispering to each other the whole time. But now there was silence. Despite the fact that the window was closed, they could hear the groaning of the wind and the tweets of the birds. They could hear the quite voices of some Death Eaters downstairs arguing. It was so quiet they could hear almost anything.

Albus looked back to face the rather shocked expression of Voldemort. It was almost as if he didn't know what to do. He stared at Sirius for long moments. And then he said a few words, a few words that maybe to anyone else wouldn't mean anything. But for Sirius Black, they were a few words that had the potential to break him.

'If only your brother went down kicking and screaming like you, like someone _brave_.' And then he whipped his wand, extracting with it the loudest and most piercing scream; one of hatred and anger and pain and hurt. Sirius started crying whilst he was screaming, and whimpering when the spell was taken off. The door closed behind Lord Voldemort and the Death Eaters.

Sirius didn't care, he was shivering (the cloak had been "confiscated" by Bella) and he was so hungry it hurt to even breathe, and he was so tired. He barely got any sleep, there was always a Death Eater awake – the most he had gotten was two weeks ago, three hours of blissful oblivion. Then he woke up to a question, gave the wrong answer and received his punishment, a never ending cycle.

Albus couldn't look Sirius in the eye; he felt so guilty. He felt more than guilty, he felt disgusted with himself, he wanted to vomit and puke and beat himself raw. He wanted to _die. _

There must be something wrong with Albus. Maybe in a way he was worse than Lord Voldemort, because he tried to justify all the wrong he was doing with everything right that he hoped would happen. He didn't even know if his plan would work out, he hoped it would, he'd beg for it to work, but if it didn't then he would be the reason for dozens to die, and dozens to have already died.

'I'm sorry Sirius,' Albus whispered after a few painfully quiet moments, trying to force his bound hands open in a comforting gesture. It wasn't even like Albus could get up; he was glued to the sofa magically. He shook his head softly, sick of all the excuses he was trying to make. 'I wish I...'

Sirius was shaking his head, despite the great effort it took. His throat felt bloody and he couldn't talk at all now, thanks to the grating screams he'd shrieked, but he shook his head, sending almost a reproachful look at Albus.

Sirius didn't blame him exactly, but he felt so let down. He thought when he saw Dumbledore enter the attic yesterday, that he would be safe; but if possible, he felt more in danger, and hurt. He wished he could say the words he didn't mean, the words that everyone said when they had nothing else to say, "It's alright." But Sirius couldn't say it.

He wanted Dumbledore to feel guilty, he wasn't receiving any sympathy from anyone else; he hadn't been shown any sympathy. Someone came into the room; it was Narcissa carrying her son who she set down besides the door. She looked at Sirius with disdain and Dumbledore with indifference. She set down a glass of water at Albus's feet and a meal, an actual full meal.

There were peas and a lump of meat (maybe lamb or beef) and potatoes and even more delicious looking things. She tapped her wand on Albus's hands and the binds came off, as well as the spell keeping him restricted to the sofa. Then Narcissa came over to Sirius, who was watching the food with such longing. Narcissa smirked at him. 'You're fairing well.' She brought a glass of water up to Sirius's bleeding, red lips.

He took a gulp and then spat all of it on her face, covering her plain clothes and her golden hair. Narcissa's beautiful wet face contorted in anger and hatred, and she slapped Sirius as hard as she could, his lip splitting open for the millionth time, blood dripping down.

He groaned, licking the blood from his lip and meeting her eyes. She looked tempted to slap him again, but instead she took out her long thin wand and dried herself, clearing the mess on the floor up as well.

'Such a shame, you won't be getting anymore water till tomorrow,' she told him, pulling out a banana and setting it on the floor in front of him. 'As for your food, you'll have to get it yourself, dirty, filthy blood traitor.' She hissed the last few words with loathing clear in her voice and fury in her eyes.

'Leave him alone Narcissa.' Albus said in a stern, angry voice. She looked up at him with a frightened glance just as Sirius started laughing.

Narcissa picked up Draco from the floor, and slammed the attic door behind her. Sirius turned to face Dumbledore with a big smile, and in turn Albus watched Sirius with interest.

It was almost as if the young man didn't mind the pain, anything to make the lives of these people as horrid as possible. And it was working. Albus stood up shakily, though the cut in his calf had been healed for him. He walked over to the banana and picked it up, unpeeling it for Sirius and bringing it to the man's bloody mouth.

Sirius almost blushed at how embarrassing this was, wishing for the millionth time that his arms weren't chained. Softly, he bit into the head of the banana, blushing once more at the always present innuendos rushing through his head and begging to burst out. He laughed out loud and resumed to eating the banana with newly found interest. He felt like such a pervert.

_xo _

Remus woke up, his whole body was aching and his limbs felt heavy with pain. His transformation went rougher than it did whenever the Marauders were with him, but it went smoother then it had these past two full moons, without any of them there for him.

He cried out and turned his head a fraction to see a dozing stag, still in its form and with some blood matting the glossy brown fur. Remus started whimpering just as Lily burst into the room. Behind her was Rose, with eyes as wide as planets and her cheeks flushed crimson. She saw Remus look at her and she gasped in fright, running from the doorframe.

Remus sagged back into the arms of Lily, more offended than Rose would ever know, and let Lily attend to his wounds. She was always gentle as silk, sweet as summer when she cared for him, this must have been the millionth time she had healed his wounds for him.

She washed the blood off first, sending reproachful looks towards James who was still asleep. Then she poured Dittany into the cuts that were deep and healed with her wand the scratches; most of them fading quickly.

Then she moved from his face and his chest to his legs, bare and broken. Lily had seen Remus naked, and neither of them was shy or embarrassed. Remus was in too much of a state to care about her seeing him naked for the millionth time. In fact, he was quite proud of his err ... package. Sirius had always said it must be the wolf inside him that added to such a large baby-making-anatomy.

Lily was very tender, and she feed him some potions whilst she wrapped his legs in bandages even though they were healed just to show everyone they needed to be careful for the next few days whilst he returned to his normal state.

Finally she conjured a robe and draped it over Remus, allowing him to get up and put it on whilst she jolted the stag away. James wouldn't move though, not until she shot a painful curse at him, where he yelped (if stags can yelp) and almost hit her with his antlers.

James transformed and looked at Remus with a grin. 'Did pretty good didn't we?'

Lily laughed bitterly. 'No you didn't. He broke both his legs and had several cuts. You beat him with your antlers.'

James scratched the back of his neck and then roared in pain, feeling on his neck the grazes Remus's paws left. And then he felt his elbow split open with pain and turned to see a now open and very deep cut. He moved forward and almost fell; crap, his foot was messed up.

James turned to Lily who was almost smiling, and he opened his arms for her to give him a hug. She rolled her eyes and stepped forward, nestling herself into where she belonged.

'Lils ...'

'I'll heal you.' She told him, pressing her own lips back onto his.

She touched his bare eyes (his glasses had once again been broken) and nuzzled his nose with her own. James almost grinned triumphantly at how she had finally forgiven him, and he stepped closer to her, if possible. They heard the cellar door close swiftly and turned to see the cellar was empty, and Remus had managed to limp out of the room.

James bit his lip. 'I think we made him feel uncomfortable ... now, about healing me—'

They could hear shrieks and screams, and Lily ran as fast as she could up the stairs, into the kitchen and bursting through the living room. Sure enough, Rose was cowering from Remus who could barely stand. Her wand out and pointing at him.

Lily couldn't make out most of what she was saying, but she did hear words like 'Werewolf' and 'Filthy' and 'Half-breed' and 'Monster'. Those words were enough to snap her out of the rather pleasant mood she had just been in. She grabbed Rose by the arm and whipped the girl round, slapping her soundly and hard.

Rose just stared. She stared at Lily, a hand flying to her face. Everyone knew Rose could annihilate Lily Evans Potter but she didn't, she just stared.

James who just came into the room and who had heard the words Rose said, felt a surge of anger bolt through him. He turned to look at Remus, who seemed to be inches from dropping dead onto the floor. James went over to him, propping him up and turning his savage glare onto Rose.

But both green eyed women seemed to be engaged in a stare off. Lily spoke first. 'If you ever,' her voice was a deadly whisper, almost as serpentine as Lord Voldemort's. 'If you _ever_ say those words in my house again to my friend...'

She didn't need to finish because already Rose looked ready to bolt and cry. Her lip was trembling and she appraised Remus, his eyes closed tiredly and his head resting on James's shoulder, who had an arm around him lovingly and protectively.

'T-that's w-why you're a-anim—' she couldn't finish the sentence, her throat closing up on her.

'Animagi? Would it make a difference who we became it for?'

Rose's lip shook. 'I l-lived with him, let him live and p-play w-with my _son. _And I k-kissed him...' she almost cried, wrapping her arms around her body and watching the three others united against her, as though she was their common enemy.

James turned a startled glance to Remus, who didn't even respond. With a jolt he realised his friend was asleep already. He lowered him onto the sofa, draping a blanket around him. Now he was free, James barged past Lily and seized Rose by her arms.

He pushed her against the wall and gritted his teeth with bloodlust in his eyes and hatred boiling through his gaze. His lips were centimetres from hers, and their foreheads were touching. 'If you dare to ever say anything like that again, I'll throw you out and keep your son. I'll let the Death Eaters have you.'

'How could you say something like that to Remus? He's been so good to you...' Lily whispered, shaking her head in disbelief from where she stood behind them. How could someone abandon a friend when they found out one little secret, one petty little secret?

Didn't Rose name Remus the godfather of her son? How quickly was she abandoning him when she learnt the truth of his "furry little problem"?

It infuriated Lily the most though because she had met Rose's Mother, and they hadn't seemed that prejudiced. However Sirius _had_ seemed like a prejudiced, arrogant fuck, and he was arrogant, oh yes but not prejudiced. Just went to show that people aren't always what you think. Lily had always known Rose wasn't a very good person, but she never thought that she'd be this horrid, this evil.

'You made him godfather of Sirius James.' Lily croaked after a moment.

Rose looked her squarely in the eye, her cheek revealed the red spot Lily had marred. 'Maybe ... Maybe I was wrong.' Then she barged past Lily and James and hurried up the stairs. They heard the slam of her bedroom door, and distant crying from SJ. Harry toddled into the room, past his parents and to his 'Uncl' Moon', gently nudging the side of his face and giggling every few seconds before planting a sloppy kiss on the werewolf's chin.

_xo _

It was New Year's Eve, and Remus was sitting outside with the couple and Harry, the young boy bounding next to him and running down the garden dressed like a snowman, with a two scarves and three pairs of gloves and a big snugly hat.

It was glistening here; the moon was waxing but still made the sky silver. The stars were bright – there was barely any pollution here in Godric's Hollow, and Remus could point out some of the constellations he remembered from Astronomy back in Hogwarts. He smiled when he saw his friend in the sky, alone and brighter than any.

Lily hadn't really accepted their rescue mission, but she only left the room sometimes now whenever it was brought up. But she was better than before. She didn't object out right but instead argued why they should stay and listened as they told her why they needed to go.

She held both her husband's and her friend's hands as every second that passed drew them closer to the New Year.

'Promise me James,' she suddenly said, 'Promise me that if you don't rescue him, that if you fail you'll come home and let it be. At least for now, let it be.'

James bit his lip, his face illuminated in the night's glow. He looked stuck between two answers, the one he truly felt and the one he knew she wanted to hear. 'I-if we fail, and there's no way, then I'll have to come home, won't I?'

She frowned at his wording but nodded softly. 'What if Death Eaters come, what if they're following you. What would you do then?'

James glared at her, and Remus now wasn't so lost in their secretive conversation. 'You think I'd come home knowing there are Death Eaters tailing me? How dumb do I look Lils? I'm not going to _do _that to you, I'm not going to hurt you or my son or my nephew.'

Remus couldn't see Lily's face but it made James's expression soften dramatically. No more words were said, especially since the fireworks had started. It was the New Year now. It was 1982. A new year, a fresh start.

Sirius had been gone since last year. It sounded so weird, so wrong to say so, but it was true. Remus remembered playing games with his mum and dad, telling them he hadn't washed since last year or he hadn't gone toilet since last year.

And in turn they would say just as childishly fun things as him. He missed his parents; he hadn't seen them for over three weeks now. They were probably worried as hell. Maybe he had even pushed his Father closer to that promised heart attack. And he loved his parents so much, what would they think of them? Maybe they wouldn't believe it, but the rest of the world would.

Remus had read some of the reports and articles, especially that horrid one by that Skeeter woman in the Daily Prophet. She made Remus feel like even more of an animal. Only yesterday had Remus walked into the living room and seen Rose reading it, nodding along and quickly averting her gaze from Remus when she saw him.

He had never pegged her as a prejudiced person. He had thought she was a nice person, who never judged someone on things other then their personality. How wrong had he been? She didn't even want him to be godfather anymore.

It hurt Remus a lot. He didn't know what to say to her. He was worried. Perhaps he should go talk to her now. He was sick of James and Lily kissing (they hadn't come up for air since the first firework lit up the sky) and he was quite cold.

Remus didn't know if he should knock on her bedroom door. But he did anyway. There was silence from inside. He opened the door and looked inside. She was dressed in nothing but a nightie, staring out at the loud banging fireworks from the window.

Her beautiful son was in her arms, propped up so he could see the fireworks too. Remus cleared his throat and he was sure she heard, but she didn't turn around. She did however talk.

'What d'you want Remus?' she asked tiredly, flicking more long golden hair behind her back. It cascaded down her back like a waterfall and it made her seem smaller, almost like a child.

'I want to talk.' He sat down on the edge of the bed, her back still faced to him as she watched the beautiful display. The window was wide open and it was very chilly.

She seemed reluctant to answer, and took minutes to even think of a half mumbled, half rushed response. 'You've b-been lying ... lying to me this _whole_ fucking time – you make me feel _sick; _you're a murderer and a liar and _a monster!_'

Remus had heard worse. It still hurt. But he had heard worse. 'Would you have wanted to know?'

He didn't have to see her face to see the pain in her expression, to see the confusion at the mixture of emotions she was feeling. Rose had always liked him, fancied him even back in Hogwarts for a while. She had gone through a "good-guy faze" and in turn Remus had started to respect her.

'No, no I _wish _I never found out. I wish your secret never tarnished ... never tarnished how great I thought you were. You were _so amazing _to me. I thought you were the best person I could ever stay with, trust to keep me and my son safe.'

'I'm still the same person; I'm still Remus from a week ago, from a month ago, from a year ago. I'm still here trying to save you, trying to protect you and my godson. I'm not here to hurt you Rose.' His voice broke when he said her name, and he even felt his eyes tingle a little. Maybe it was because of the wind blowing through.

Finally she turned around to face him, a dozing son in her hands. 'If you're still Remus then why did you never tell me?'

'I never told anyone Rose. The Marauders found out on their own in second year, and Lily, when she and James started dating, pieced it together. I never _wanted _anyone to know. Precisely because I thought everyone would react like this. But so far it's only been you.'

Her face contorted with anger, and her plain green eyes seared into his own. 'I've seen reports about werewolves; I've seen pictures of what they can do, pictures of what they are. How can I believe, be _expected_ to believe you're different. Moreover, how can I believe what you and the others are saying when there are reports of you ripping people apart with your _bare_ hands?'

Remus shook his head, but he knew it was no use. She would never understand. 'Those reports are wrong, but believe whatever you want to believe Rose.'

Those reports were wrong; he used magic to hurt most of them, and his brute strength. But that didn't mean he ripped them apart. So he threw them into walls and bit them and clawed at them but he never ripped them apart.

It didn't matter though. Because Rose, along with the whole nation, didn't believe him and never would. Just like it was easy for the magical community to believe Sirius was evil because of his family it was easy to believe Remus was a monster because of his curse.

He closed the door gently behind him, after wishing her a good night. And then Remus went into the bathroom to clean up. No one could see your tears if your whole face was wet.

The next day James and Lily were arguing, Remus woke up to that much. She was trying for the final time to persuade him, to beg him to stay. And it was almost working but it didn't. James was stubborn and when he realised what Lily was trying to do, he snapped at her.

'I don't care anymore. You and your fucking threats Lily Evans. Kick me out then. Kick me out, I couldn't care less. Because I'm bringing my best friend, my _brother_ home.'

It was New Year's today. The day they were going to meet Peter. Remus was rather scared, what if they were attacked and kidnapped. He knew he'd be killed, Dumbledore was sure of that much. And James? Well what was happened to Sirius would most probably happen to him too.

Finally, the screaming and shouted slowed down. Lily was sobbing and begging him not to do anything rash and reckless. She begged him to bring Sirius home, and not a flock of Death Eaters. She begged him to keep them safe.

And in turn he promised her, with a large and loving and sloppy kiss, and much grinning afterwards. After some breakfast, and a change into more suitable clothing for the fierce winds and the strong cold (Remus was still having to borrow James's clothes, who didn't mind at all) the house was calmer.

Remus explained to Lily about their need for reinforcements, and not the wizarding kind. They needed magical creatures to make Voldemort feel even the slightest bit threatened. She seemed worried but believed Remus when he said he knew a lot of werewolves who were similar to him in mentality and habits.

'When we get maybe fifteen recruits, even twenty or so, we'll come straight home until the day before the rescue mission. But you need to believe me Lily; you need to have faith in me. I won't let you down; I won't let my son down or my best friend.'

Lily nodded. She handed James the rucksack with the letters, a Medi-kit, a Potion's Manual and some clothes to change into. Remus kissed Harry on the forehead. When he leant forward to kiss his godson, he half expected Rose to run away. But she let Remus take the little boy and bid him goodbye. He hugged Lily and waited patiently by the door whilst the husband and wife shared their potentially last moments with each other.

He could still hear Lily begging in a quite, sad voice. But with a big kiss on her red lips and a cuddle, she seemed better. James threw Harry into the air and caught him, nuzzling his son's neck and promising to see them soon. He held Harry tightly, telling his son again and again this was all for him.

'I'll be back Harry with your favourite uncle, okay?' James promised, pecking his son's nose who was trying to squirm out of the grip to continue running around and screaming, something he hadn't stopped doing since he learnt to walk. 'I'll be back.'

One last tender kiss on his wife's lips, and both men, both Marauders set off to meet Peter, find some werewolves and kick some Death Eater arse.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Hey guys! Thanks to everyone who's alerted to this or favourited it, I'd appreciate some reviews though, to tell me how rubbish/good/boring this chapter was, etc. Thanks to all those who have reviewed, and I've replied to all of them so I hope your questions have been answered/some points have been cleared up for you. _

_Have a nice holiday, so far mine's been pretty awesome. _

_Take care, _

_- xo_


	25. The Awkward Meeting

_Disclaimer; Only own the OCs and the plot, thanks!_

* * *

><p><em>xoxo <em>

_25. The Awkward Meeting_

James couldn't get Lily's expression out of his head. She looked like someone had grasped her heart and pulled it out. She had looked hurt more than angry, though moment's before her eyes had been almost red with fury.

Harry hadn't been any help either, squealing and squirming through the hugs and kisses, and then screaming and begging when James left the house. And Rose, well she just wanted her boyfriend back. If Sirius and Rose would in fact stay boyfriend and girlfriend. James knew it was a long shot; Sirius would dump her arse and if he could, would use his family name to get custody of his son and toss her a few galleons whilst she stood in the middle of the street, all of her belongings packed up beside her.

'Bye Rose!' Sirius would shout to her, with his son in his arms. 'Nice fucking you!'

It was hard to get to Scotland. They couldn't disapparate because the news had announced all Apparation Licences had been revoked, and you had to sign up once again. It was the Ministry's way of showing everyone how powerful they were and also that they could find anyone they wanted.

They took some Muggle transport; they had fifty galleons on them and two hundred pounds. They took the bus as far as they could and walked the rest to the train station, where they got a train to Scotland.

James was very weary, looking around the empty compartment they were in every few seconds and settling back in his seat. Then he smiled wide and hard, and Remus, who was flicking through a newspaper, looked up at James exasperatedly.

'What the _hell _have you been grinning about for the last half an hour?' he asked, putting down the Daily Prophet.

James looked up at him with shimmering hazel eyes. 'I feel ... I feel so free. I haven't been out in months, and it feels so _good_ Remus, it feels incredible.'

Remus smiled at him. 'I'm glad you're having fun but set that aside till we get away from all these Muggles and cameras.' Remus shivered, his eyes flickering to the camera directly above them.

'Sorry Mr I've-Got-A-Dick-Up-My-Arse,' James said, beaming at Remus who pretended to flush.

'It was only once! And for your information, I was the chaser, _he _was the quaffle.'

They continued joking and insulting and laughing together, and they were lucky there was no one sharing the carriage with them. James could get very ... filthy? Yes, filthy.

'Imagine ... imagine if Sirius was molested by Dolohov or one of the other sick fuckers. He certainly has the looks to pass as a girl, I'm sure Dolohov would just squint through the whole thing—'

Remus, who was howling with laughter, wiped the tears of mirth from his eyes. 'I think when they rip off his clothes and see something definitely not ... female he might be turned off.'

James grinned and shrugged before nodding. 'D'you remember that time when Peter asked Sirius if he took potions to enhance his male region because it was impossible to be fifteen and have that much of an impressive ... you know.'

Remus laughed hard, slapping his knee. 'And Sirius cursed him so hard Peter couldn't walk properly for weeks!'

'And then I asked—'

'And you ended up having to go to Pomfrey to get the boils on your arse removed. I think he was kinder to Peter. He was always kinder to Peter in ways that he wasn't to us in situations like that, if you think about it.'

James tilted his head. 'What d'you mean? Are you talking about what Peter said in the letter, I was supposed to ask you if you knew anything about what he was saying...'

Remus bit his lip. Was it right to explain the whole story. He decided he should. 'Peter was waiting outside Sirius's after we came to yours, remember? We ate that meal and we were joking around ... the day I got the job. Well, he took Peter inside, and was so close to killing him. But then Peter must have said something that reminded Pads of his brother so instead he gave Peter twelve thousand galleons—' at this James let out a noise, 'and then he told Peter to never come back.'

James scratched his head and nibbled down on his lip. How could he not have seen this? Sirius would never have done what he claimed to do to Peter anyway, he would never hurt him ... would he?

He knew Sirius wouldn't have killed him. But if the Order or the Aurors found out about Sirius's aid in Peter's escape he could get put in Azkaban. He didn't even trust James with the secret.

Remus, as if he could read James's mind, said, 'He never told me. Well he did, but after I confronted him about the aid in Peter's escape. You never noticed, you were too confused and bamboozled to even notice. You know how Pads acts when he lies.'

James nodded.

'So what you're saying is he didn't want anyone to know. Not even us. Well then why would he reveal Peter's identity?'

Remus shrugged. 'Maybe he threatened Peter with something, you know Peter; he wouldn't want to leave unless he absolutely had too. Sirius probably lied and said we were all looking for him.'

James nodded. It all made sense now: the letter, Peter talking about how this whole time he thought Sirius didn't even really like him, being treated kindly and mercifully, all of those other praises towards the handsome young man; it was all because Peter felt in debt to Sirius. The main reason Peter had agreed to even go was because he owed Sirius.

So what, was it like paying back a debt? As soon as this was over, he would go back to hiding at his aunt's and running from everyone? Because then there was nothing honourable about Peter. He had to be brave. He was in Gryffindor!

There must be some small, almost nonexistent shred of bravery coursing through Wormtail's blood. 'You're probably right.'

'I'm always right,' said Remus, pulling out his water bottle from his bag and gulping it. The way he hissed when he drank it and savoured the liquid led James to believe that maybe it wasn't water.

'What the fuck are you drinking?'

Remus shrugged, handing it over to James, who took a whiff and smelt the vodka. Definitely vodka. He laughed long and hard, taking a few sips. This was probably one of the reasons he loved Remus so much, because the bastard was so unpredictable and wild even though everyone thought he was sensible and calm.

They obviously didn't know Remus. 'Want to tell me why you've got about two litres of vodka in your bag?'

Remus blew the hair back from his face and tugged at the ends, pretending to snip it with two fingers. 'I need a haircut. And no James, you or Peter or Sirius are never cutting my hair again.'

Sirius thought back in sixth year that it would be cool to give Remus a Mohawk; he said more girls would want to screw him, not that Remus had a boring sex life, just a shy and almost reluctant one. What Sirius didn't tell Remus was he didn't know _how _to cut a Mohawk. And so Remus ended up with bald patches, one half of his hair longer than the other, some bits burnt to shreds and random red streaks appearing in his blondish brown hair.

Remus had quite literally beaten the crap out of Sirius, who laughed the whole time he was getting punched and kicked and screamed at. Remus forgave Sirius moments after, apologising for the broken arm and the black eyes and the split lip he gave Sirius. But he ignored Peter and James (who pretended they had nothing to do with the whole ordeal when in fact they were the ones who burnt and dyed his hair) for a whole day. Quite long for the band of brothers.

Well that was until James stole a potion to re-grow the hair that had been lost and shaved, and Remus forgave him too, mainly because James was caught and given two weeks worth of detentions. And there was no point staying mad at Peter, he followed anything James said.

'I'll do it properly, promise,' James laughed inwards, couldn't help the giggling, especially when Remus turned to glare at him.

'You ever touch my hair and you don't even want to _visualise _what I'll do to ... other parts of you.'

James gulped and snatched back the vodka. It must have been hours, because the sun had already set and they were cast into the darkness. They had probably kept Peter waiting but he wouldn't leave. Especially when he knew the chance he was being given. The chance of his friends, his only friends, accepting him back, asking for his help; it was too important of an opportunity to throw away.

It was maybe seven or half seven when they got off the train. The station was mildly packed, James concluded, with a few people every few metres or so, some sitting on the hard benches and others standing. There were signs everywhere and an electronic device that showed the train times.

He turned to scrutinise the Muggles when he noticed someone watching them, gaping at James's crooked glasses and shimmering scruffy hair, at Remus's smooth pale skin and tawny hair. The person pulled out a wand (right out in a public train station).

Remus pushed James in front of him and they started to run. James was incredibly fast but of course he couldn't beat a werewolf. They tore through the station, getting shouted at by some workers and elderly women.

A spell hit James hard, and he stumbled. Remus growled, baring his flat teeth and threw his friend over his shoulder, the adrenaline spurring him on. He ran, ignoring how heavy his friend was, and tore through the streets until they were in an alley, and he was sure they had outrun the wizard.

Remus (not too lightly) threw James onto the hard floor and leant against the wall panting. He gasped shakily, pulling out his wand and waving it. James's eyes opened and he groaned, rubbing his back.

'Thanks Moony, love you,' he said sincerely, taking out his wand and casting a spell to check the time. Then he groaned and asked for some water and clucked his teeth when Remus shyly told him there was none. 'So two litres of vodka, what a great idea. No water, what a fucking shit idea.'

Remus was still scratching his head, looking around. 'People must really want that money. I've never felt so expensive.'

James grinned. 'Five hundred thousand each. I would even consider turning one of you in, my inheritance is running out pretty damn fast.'

'Yeah well when we get Sirius back it won't be about money. It'll be about getting the fuck away from here. I like the idea of Mexico or Portugal.' He said, staring off into the night's sky dreamily. But then Remus frowned. 'Wait, we can't leave. We can't leave everyone alone to deal with Voldemort themselves.'

James nodded, standing up and taking the rucksack from Remus, who still seemed out of breath. 'We can't, you're right. But what can we do about it? All I know is Harry is what Voldemort wants most. Thanks to that stupid prophecy Trelawney made. It was probably a load of waffle ... wasn't she that nutter in seventh year when we were in our first?'

Remus laughed and nodded. 'Yep, that's her. But Dumbledore said it was true, or at least, Voldemort thinks it's true and in way that's even more important.'

'We weren't even told exactly what the prophecy said. We just know it's about Harry. And Longbottom's son. It's either of them, and I feel so bad but I keep wishing that it's Longbottom's son. But Dumbledore said...' James gulped and looked up so the tears would maybe seep back into his eyes.

Remus nodded. He knew what James was talking about. Dumbledore had said it was most probably Harry, and they could do nothing except hide him. 'What if ... what if we try and contact Trelawney? What if she told us the prophecy word for word?'

'Okay, I'll add that to the already long list of rounding up some werewolves and vampires, and a troll if we're lucky. Then of course the actual rescue mission along with gathering the whole happy family and hiding somewhere far away. Then of course there's the fact that we have to defeat Voldemort.'

Remus shook his head. 'Maybe we don't need to defeat him, at least not alone. What if we push him back into the shadows? Show him that he isn't the conqueror around here he's making out to be.'

James nodded eagerly. 'We could even kill some of his Death Eaters, his most favourite. Malfoy, Bellatrix, Crouch Jr. Maybe even Snape.'

Remus swallowed, he had an uneasy feeling about Snape. Should he dare voice it to James? 'I ... I don't think Snape's the enemy. I mean he helped me; he pushed me away from him. Away from Voldemort. He's the reason I'm here right now.'

James shook his head. 'Impossible. Snape wouldn't help you unless he had an ulterior motive. Maybe Voldemort told him to do it. He wouldn't change sides, especially whilst they're _winning the war!_'

But Remus already had a small suspicion as to why Snape had helped him, and her name was Lily.

Remus cocked his head to the busy street, it had been twenty minutes, the person was most probably off to owl the Ministry. They had to go now!

'Well let's get going. We wouldn't want to miss Peter now, would we?'

_xo _

Albus had been taken out of Sirius's room yesterday, but he felt better knowing that he gave almost all his food to the young man, who had lost so much weight since he last saw him. He was worried about Sirius's resilience.

It was one thing to refuse giving up the secret but to taunt your kidnappers and torturers? And Sirius was paid for his teasing most generously. In fact Albus was dragged out whilst Sirius had insulted Dolohov's Mother, saying the most gruesome things about her and what Sirius had done with her once, in Dolohov's own bed.

Albus had laughed. If there was ever someone he respected most it would be Sirius Black. Which was why Albus was surprised when he was put back into the room the next morning, escorted by Lord Voldemort.

They went up to the attic and opened the door. Albus clasped Voldemort's forearm hard, almost smirking when the Dark Lord hissed. Inside, chained to the wall like he had been for weeks now, was Sirius Black, clearly asleep.

But a quick Cruciatus and he was awake, hissing and thrashing. Voldemort summoned a chair and knocked Albus into it roughly, pushing the chair fast and hard with an invisible gush of wind. It hit the wall hard.

Albus felt out of breath but watched the Dark Lord advance on Sirius. He touched Sirius's face gently with his wand, smearing some of the blood on his face. Then he slowly caressed him until his hands were over the tattoo of R.A.B.

Sirius tried to move away but couldn't. He watched with frightful eyes and tried hard to control his breathing. Voldemort seemed satisfied and took a step back, appraising the boy with his eyes. Then he sighed dramatically.

'We're going to need to feed you more. You've lost so much weight ... you are not as handsome as you were when you came in.'

Sirius bit his lip, and muttered under his breath, 'Oh bother, I'm not gorgeous like I was when I arrived.'

Voldemort smiled cruelly, coldly. 'Oh but it is a bother. When I kill you, I want you looking your best. But of course I have to wait until you give the secret up.'

'I won't give it up, why won't you understand that? Kill me _now!_ It's never happening.' Sirius cried indignantly.

Voldemort stepped closer, pressing the tip of his wand to Sirius's heart. At the feeling of the wand, he closed his piercing grey eyes and prepared himself. But nothing came. Slowly; hesitantly, he opened his eyes to see red ones boring into his own.

A smile flickered across the once handsome and now hideous face. 'You didn't think ... you didn't think I would kill you, did you? Death would be too merciful. And don't assume I don't know what death enthrals and brings.'

'With death comes the end of the Fidelius Charm. No, Voldemort, I hadn't thought you would kill me, but I had _hoped_.' Sirius sounded much older than he actually was. He sighed and closed his eyes, waiting for the curse to hit him whenever he dared say that name.

But nothing came. He almost sighed in relief but didn't. Lord Voldemort was as unpredictable as a tornado.

'No, I won't torture you. Not yet. I have something planned for you. I was reading your file yesterday, almost like a child reads a book before they fall asleep. There were even more interesting things about you Sirius, when I was able to get your old Hogwarts file.' Voldemort turned his triumphant gaze to Albus. 'Snape is most helpful there.'

He took out the file from wherever it had been concealed, and he flicked it open. Sirius breathed out in anger, thinking about all the medical reports Pomfrey had made when he would come to the hospital wing after holidays with his parents or encounters with Slytherins. 'There are some rather personal things in that file!' He snapped, yearning to wrench the file from those long, snaky fingers.

'It says you are exceptional at playing the piano. How long did you have lessons for?'

Sirius bit his lip and looked at Albus whose expression gave him the confidence to answer. 'From the age of four till I was sixteen, till I ran away.'

Voldemort chuckled. 'So you must be rather amazing? A piano prodigy. Hmm ... Interesting. And I had almost forgotten you ran away, you lived with the Potters?' It wasn't really a question but it sounded like one.

'"Ran away" sounds like I'm some melodramatic, insolent child. I'd rather say it was mutual, I wanted to leave and they wanted me to go. Not really what running away means.'

Voldemort touched Sirius's heart with his wand. 'Liar. You ran away.'

Sirius shrugged. 'Whatever you call it, they didn't want me there anyway.' His voice sounded braver, as if talking about the past and his family gave him courage. Courage that had been fading...

'Did you like living with the Potters? Living with your best friend. How fun was that?'

Sirius shrugged, trying to appear indifferent and succeeding. 'It was pretty amazing. Best few years of my life I'd say. And then I got money from Uncle Alphard when he died in seventh year. I bought a flat when Hogwarts was over.'

'So you were there when Charlus Potter died?'

Sirius gulped and looked down at his bare feet. They were splattered with drops of blood. His mum use to say he had pretty feet when he was younger, girlish feet. Even now there wasn't a hair on them; in fact there was pretty much no hair on his body. Not even on his chest really, nor his arms or feet. In some ways Sirius was embarrassed by it.

Uncle Chuck had been such an influential, significant Father figure in Sirius's life. Since the first time he ever met James's parents to the last. And it had been so sad, when during Easter they were both called home in their seventh year (they had been staying at Hogwarts) because James's Father had died.

He had been sick for months, and it was almost expected. What was not expected was Dorea's death that happened when Harry was barely three months old. It had been painful.

'Yes, me and James came home.'

'Funny how you call it "home" when in reality, you never belonged there.' Voldemort waved his wands and the shackles binding Sirius's hands opened. Immediately his arms, dead from being propped levelled with his neck for weeks, flopped lifelessly by his side. He didn't even really register until Voldemort beckoned him forward.

Before Sirius's eyes materialised the most beautiful piano, it was black with the light streaming from the window shimmering off it. It was smooth as silk and hard as iron, cold as iron. Sirius gasped, sensations fluttering through his body. He took a step and wobbled. After breathing in for a few moments, he took another few steps on shaky feet, very slowly and cautiously. His legs ached and they pleaded for him to stop, especially when he stumbled more than once, but he carried on with a determined expression.

Sirius managed to lift his hands up after putting all his will power into such a simple action. He managed to touch the piano's skin tentatively and felt his body sit down on the comfortable chair before him with a content sigh.

'You get an hour Sirius to entertain us.'

Sirius gulped, his fingers already caressing the keys like a lost lover. He hadn't played in so long but it felt automatic, his fingers falling on the correct notes. It was almost like his body forgot of the _pain_ it was in, and just wanted to play. To indulge itself in something that was so calming and familiar. And so Sirius started to play the Raindrop Prelude, by Chopin. The most impressive and beautiful song he knew.

He closed his eyes and played.

_xo _

'Slimy bastard stood us up!' James howled, kicking the rubbish bins next to him. Remus restrained him as he made a move to do it again. 'I'll kill that stupid, sneaking, rat—'

Someone cleared their throat behind them and they both turned slowly, Remus already holding his wand up.

Standing besides the pub door was Peter. He had lost a lot of weight, he had always been the chubbiest of the group and the least muscular, and though now he still wasn't built like Sirius or Remus, he was now almost similar to James. He had lost a lot of weight on his face; now his cheekbones and his eyes stood out more.

He was still quite small, maybe five nine or thereabouts, but he didn't look like a quaffle anymore. His hair was lank and lifeless, a mixture of blond and mousy brown. His sapphire eyes were dull too, but still a vivid shade.

Peter also held himself up with a confidence he had lacked all his life, as if knowing they needed him comforted him and gave him the bravery that had been hiding inside him his whole life.

'Hi guys,' he said in a quiet voice. But it wasn't a scared voice; just quiet.

James tensed; Remus could feel it in the arms he was restraining. After moments of staring at each other, James relaxed. Remus reluctantly withdrew his hands, ready to spring them back if James grew violent.

'Pete, you look like utter shit.' If you peeled away the loathing and the betrayal you could sense the hurt and the sombreness James was feeling. Remus felt the same way too.

'Thanks,' Peter replied dryly. He was dressed casually and the clothes were hanging off him. 'Let's go inside.' He said, pointed to the doors.

James barged past him roughly, pushing the doors open. They located a table in the darkest corner, away from everyone else. Away from prying eyes. James sat down, and besides him Remus sat too. Peter unsteadily sat down opposite them, and though like he would have usually done, he looked them bravely in the eye. 'Where should I start?' he asked hoarsely.

'Let's get some drinks first,' Remus said carefully, waving his hand over and signalling a pretty woman over to take their order.

She scrutinised Remus first, smiling at him pleasantly, doing the same with James. And Peter, who was rather cute in his own way, was rewarded with a weird calculative look. 'What'll it be, lads?' the woman asked, winking at Remus.

He smiled. 'Whiskey for me.' James nodded and said the same thing, and then they looked expectantly at Peter, who usually would have taken anything they were taking. But instead he said to her, 'Could I have a glass of water?'

She tilted her head, once again watching him with a curious eye. But she nodded. 'Three pounds fifty for each round. You can pay at the end.' And she waltzed off, her skirt awfully short and flashing them a rather pleasant view of her bright pink knickers.

Remus had to elbow James twice to get back his attention. His friend could be such a pervert.

'I guess you want to know why I changed sides?' asked Peter when the drinks had come, sipping his water delicately. He was rewarded with nods.

'Yeah, I want to know why you left us, why you left the Marauders...' James's voice, for the first time in a while, sounded truly heartbroken.

Peter swallowed and nodded. 'Right. Well, I guess I need to start from the beginning. I guess you could say I was stressed? Work was taking a toll, meetings with the Order were scary and I don't think I was in the right frame of mind exactly. Then one day I had been coming home from work, and I was surprised when I saw Bellatrix and Lucius waiting at my doorstep for me. I tried to run because I knew what they wanted from me but they cursed and bound me. At first I was resilient, but I've never been as _brave _as you guys. Especially when they threatened my Mother. They said they would kill her.'

'Mary?' James whispered in horror, one of the kindest women he knew, and a great cook. 'They threatened Mary?'

Peter nodded, scratching his chin. 'They said they would kill her if I didn't do whatever they asked. At first they just asked me things like who was in the Order, and they asked for the mechanics of things, whether we were funded by the Ministry or a vigilante group, there to save the public ourselves. At first I thought those questions were harmless, but I realised they weren't when two of our Order members were killed.

'But it grew worse. Then they started asking me to tell them things that I knew was wrong, and I didn't want too. They would curse and torture me, and that one time I refused, I woke up in Wales with the Dark Mark in my arm. I knew I was in forever now. And I knew it was too late, if I came to the Order ... you know the penalty for betrayal in the Ministry, _Azkaban_. But Bellatrix and Malfoy, they said if I chose the Order they would make sure I died first in any battles, they said that if I chose the wrong side that I would feel the wrath of the Dark Lord. And that was when he summoned for me.

'I was so scared.' Peter breathed, clutching his head after he drained his glass of water, quenching the dryness of his throat. 'He scared me more than I had ever been scared, more than I knew possible to be scared. And I'd been subjected to Bellatrix for those few weeks. He touched my mark and said to me that this was the right side ... You guys know me. I've never been brave, I've never been courageous. I fled. I fled to his side wholly, and it was voluntary. Or at least as voluntary as it could be, seeing as I was proposed with an ultimatum between death and prison.

'I started telling him of the plans, never face to face but through Bellatrix and Lucius. I knew that this had to be the right side, I didn't and still don't agree with everything they are doing and have done but I thought that maybe if I stayed on the sidelines of this war I would exit it unscathed. Months passed and I watched as Order members were killed off, or their families hurt. I didn't stop telling the Dark Lord your secrets though. I carried on until Sirius confronted me, hurt me and gave me money to run away.'

James was shaking his head, which was too, buried in his hands. 'How did Sirius know? How did he find out?'

Peter shrugged, swallowing hard. 'Your guess is as good as mine. All I know is he was ready to kill me, ready to _destroy _me but something changed him. Something stopped him.'

Remus cleared his throat, and Peter looked at him with slightly frightened eyes. 'It was what you said ... You reminded him of his brother, the last time he saw his brother alive.'

Peter's face contorted with anger and sadness. He genuinely looked guilty. 'I ... I never thought that would be why.'

'Well it is,' snapped James, turning away from Peter and signalling the same waitress over for a refill of their drinks. 'You ruined everything.'

Peter's head fell a little but he looked back up, with his waning bravery still steely in his eyes. 'I know James; I haven't pretended to be anything else but guilty. My M-Mum, she won't forgive me ... she said I'm not her son, and I'd do anything to get her back ... to get you guys back.'

James drained his glass in one long gulp, shaking his head a little and contorting his face. But then he turned to face Peter. 'Well,' he said after a moment's pause. 'It'll take a lot more than a sad sob story.'

'I know, I'm ready. I'm ready to do whatever it takes for Sirius to get _out_ of there. I've been with the Dark Lord before and he ... he's never merciful, even to his own.'

'I had guessed as much. He is Voldemort after all.' Remus ignored the way Peter flinched, but James didn't. Instead he almost smiled.

He elbowed Remus and started talking as if Peter weren't sitting there. 'Still says "the Dark Lord" ... and we're meant to trust him? We're risking Paddy's life on _him?_'

'I only say it because it's a habit. Because I've spent over a year saying it.'

'Well then, it's a habit we're obviously going to have to break.' James said, a malevolent glint in his eyes, twirling the empty glass in his hands. Someone walked past, pulling out a packet of cigarettes. An elderly man who looked incredibly happy.

Remus was hissing under his breath for James to stop but he had already leant over and tapped the man. 'Hello sir,' he said just as cheerfully as the man's persona.

'Yeah?' asked the elderly man with a friendly smile.

'Is that packet full?' and at the man's nod, James fished for his wallet and withdrew a five pound note. 'I'll give you a fiver for the whole packet.'

The elderly man grinned, and he still plucked out his cigarette but he handed the rest over to James after. James sighed, leaning back in his chair and kissing the packet.

'It's been months,' he explained. 'I think the last fag I had been with Sirius, when we were riding the motorbike to Kingsley's.' He fished out a cigarette, popped it into his mouth and ducked his head, coming back moments later with a gleaming end and smoke coming out.

He offered Remus one who took it, and lit it using the end of James's. Remus also noticed how he didn't offer Peter one; was this an attempt at showing the small man that no matter what he did, things would never be the same?

Jams savoured it, letting his sluggish and now half drunk brain wander into a dreamlike state. That was until Remus jolted him.

'We need to show Peter the letters and the plan we have.'

James turned a hard glare onto Peter but pulled out the letters from his bag. He handed the ones Dumbledore had written both taller Marauders and waited patiently whilst Peter read them. It had been hard to find all the pieces of the letter Dumbledore wrote for him, since Lily ripped it in really small pieces, but Remus and his brilliant mind managed to fix it.

'Yes, these are like the ones I got. But more detailed. So we're definitely going on the twenty fourth of January?'

James nodded, purposely puffing a cloud of air into Peter's face who coughed and sneezed even. 'Yeah, we are. Gonna be hard to persuade magical creatures. I'm worried about the werewolves, if they're even half as strong as you Moony...'

Remus shrugged. 'Probably more. They've never learnt to contain it like I have. What I'm worried about are the vampires. And the troll, how on _earth _are we going to get a troll?'

James laughed hard. 'I suppose we're going to have to leave traps for one or whatever.' He belched in Remus's face who hit him hard, and then they started pinching and punching each other under the table.

'Isn't there a colony? Up in Germany? A small cluster of trolls. I remember the Dark Lord wanted someone to go and enslave them; to bring some of them here. That was one of the last meetings I was in before I left.'

'Well there were no trolls in the battle, in fact there were no magical creatures.' Remus added as an afterthought. And so because there were no magical creatures, Voldemort must have been searching for them and trying to recruit them now.

They had to hurry. 'We're going to Switzerland.' Remus told them after he crushed his cigarette in the ash tray besides him. 'I know a few of the people there, especially since I spent two months with them for Dumbledore. Some of them are nicer than you think. These are the neutral ones, who aren't on Greyback's side and we all know Greyback's pack are practically with Voldemort. There are a few others who are leaning towards us, they were very curious when I went there to speak to them.'

James leaned back, having heard this, but Peter was eager and itched forward. 'So we're going to speak to the werewolves first? If we get enough of them, would we still look for the troll and the vampires?'

'Of course,' James snapped abruptly. Then he started giggling. Oh crap, he really was drunk. Thanks to all that vodka they drank on the train. Remus however found it hard to get drunk, he had to literally consume maybe three bottles of firewhiskey to even feel tingly inside.

'I think we should stay somewhere for a bit, just for today and maybe tomorrow. We need to plan this thoroughly. What vampires we're going to try and get, how many trolls, things like that.'

Peter nodded. 'That sounds like a good idea. I know a warehouse not far from here; I passed it when I was walking. I'd been walking around for quite a bit you see, since I got here at two. It looked deserted enough, and if we cast protection spells it should hold for the next few nights.'

'Alright then. Did you hear that James?' But James was leaning on the table, having spilt Peter's water, his whole head was drenched.

'James?' asked Remus, poking his friend. But he was answered with a loud snore. 'For _fuck's_ sake.'

_xo _

Sirius let his fingers flutter on the keys, the whites and the blacks, the sharps and flats, the smooth notes in the centre and the dusty ones on the side. He drifted into section B, now in the bass. And he played hard and angry.

The room was silent; some Death Eaters had come in to see what was happening. Sirius had always been one to marvel at attention, and so he played swifter and harder. When he finally returned back to section A, he played softly, he played pianissimo, and the room was so silent he couldn't even hear the breathing.

Voldemort was long gone; he'd only stayed for the first time Sirius played it, applauding in a sarcastic manner. Well he was probably just jealous.

Sirius turned around, his fingers still playing. He could see Crouch Jr. The man was the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, but Sirius knew by the end of the year it would be the Dark Arts, no defence against it.

Already, Muggleborns had been expelled, and half-bloods ostracised, shunted in their own classes and their own rooms. Registers were going around and the Daily Prophet had announced that by May, everyone ought to have signed up for blood inspection.

Meaning that anyone who wasn't a pureblood had to be evaluated. And Sirius didn't even want to guess what would happen to those who didn't pass the evaluations.

Ending on a perfect cadence, Sirius turned around. Some of the Death Eaters were genuinely interested whereas others were watching him with bitter eyes, jealous eyes. Sirius got up slowly, bored of playing.

He made his way to the door but found three Death Eaters in his path. 'Where do you think you're going?' asked Crouch, smirking at Sirius.

'The toilet.' Sirius replied just as coldly and as rudely. He tried to barge past when he was punched in the stomach. He staggered back, reeling. In a frenzy of anger, Sirius kicked out as hard as he could, connecting with Crouch's man-package.

He fell to the floor, groaning. Sirius was about to dash past when a strong and sturdy hand griped his throat. He was tossed to the other side of the room, colliding with the piano. Sirius snarled and leapt forward, wrenching out Dolohov's hair and kicking the man as hard as he could.

It was funny how two days ago he couldn't even find the energy to breathe and now he was fighting. He punched Dolohov, who punched him back in the stomach. Sirius didn't even have time to stumble but instead grabbed Dolohov's head and twisted it as hard as he could.

There was a snap and the body fell away, limp, broken. Sirius wasn't sure if he was dead, he probably was. And he was too shocked to do anything other than stand there. He was thrown back, and bound using tight robes.

His eyes flickered to Albus Dumbledore's, who was in the corner of the room, still stuck to his chair and with his own arms bound. Sirius saw something flicker in the old headmaster's eyes, and it took his quite a while to figure out exactly what it was.

Moreover, the gaze more than once had kept flickering to Sirius's forearm. What was so interesting? Ah ... The Dark Mark. He looked down.

There it was, vivid and startlingly red. It was thrashing and squirming on his skin and Sirius cried out. He looked back at the Death Eaters, about half a dozen crowded Dolohov, screaming and shouting and trying to wake him. But Crouch was staring at Sirius, with a bloody lip and his wand out.

'That was very clever, what you just tried.'

'Fuck you.'

'You almost killed Dolohov.'

Sirius's eyes widened. _Almost?_ He was pretty sure there had been a loud snapping sound. 'Tough luck, maybe next time.'

'Next time? There won't be a next time.' Crouch pointed his wand at Sirius. 'You know how you cast that spell on Malfoy? You made him paralysed. To prevent you from ever doing anything like this again—'

Sirius's eyes almost popped out of his eyes, and his lip started quivering. He shook his head. 'No, no you can't do that. Voldemort'll have your head—'

'THE DARK LORD! HIS NAME IS THE DARK LORD! HOW _DARE _YOU UTTER HIS NAME WITH YOUR FILTHY, DIRTY, TRAITORING MOUTH!' It wasn't Crouch who screamed it, but Bellatrix instead. She sauntered into the room.

'Bellatrix, calm down. Sirius is allowed to say whatever he pleases. Nor should he receive a penalty for saying whatever he pleases.' Albus said calmly, courage surging through his veins.

Bellatrix turned around to face him, her eyes like coal in his face. She looked Dumbledore up and down and then smirked. 'And what are you going to do about it? Dumby-dore?'

'Well I can't do anything, but I suggest you leave Sirius alone. He is neither yours to torture, nor yours to annoy. In fact you've been annoying me quite a bit these past few days.'

Her beautiful face contorted, she looked angry. 'Well I wasn't asking for your suggestions Dumbledore. Or I would have asked.' She snapped at him harshly, turning to Sirius. 'You've got a little protector. It should do you some good; you've been ever so sad these past few weeks.'

'Piss off,' Sirius choked, still eyeing the wand pointed at him by Crouch Jr.

'It's almost as if you've lost your courage. Hopefully this year will be different.'

'This year?' Sirius gaped, mentally counting the days back. But he couldn't. All the days blurred into one another. He barely remembered what day yesterday had been.

'Happy New Year cousin.' She said. Then she turned to Crouch, whispering in his ear. He frowned but nodded.

'I'll see you later Sirius with the verdict from the Dark Lord.'

'Verdict of what?' Sirius snapped angrily.

'Of whether I should be allowed to paralyse you of course.' Crouch Jr. said cheerfully, winking at Bellatrix who laughed. Sirius felt nauseous. Was there something going on between them?

'Let's pray that Voldemort has more sense then either of you—'

A wand was pointed at the tip of his neck, jabbing the deep scratch he had acquired during the scuffle with Dolohov and Crouch. 'Say it again,' whispered Bellatrix, her hand trembling with uncontained anger, insatiable rage.

Sirius almost smirked, almost. She looked hilarious. The anger in her eyes and the hatred, the _hatred._

He opened his mouth and deliberately said the word as slowly as he could. 'Vol – de – mort.'

With a cry she screamed a curse and Sirius himself let out a grunt, convulsing in pain and restricted from moving by the tight bounds rapped around his hands. As soon as it was lifted (when he was on the verge of screaming for her) he started laughing hard.

He grinned arrogantly around the room, or rather, what was left of the Death Eaters. Then something flashed before his eyes:

_He was in a different body, roaming the office of the Headmaster of Hogwarts. It was nice and neat, with hundreds upon hundreds of books, portraits of all the ex-headmasters and headmistresses. Many of them were pretending to be asleep. _

_Voldemort had come here to speak to Snape when he felt the most horrid sensation in his forearm. He looked down at it, gleaming red like blood. Something was wrong. Just as he thought so the door burst open and in entered Crouch Jr. _

'_I just disapparated from the Malfoy Manor my Lord. Black went on a tirade, almost killed Dolohov, we thought he did—' his sentences came out rushed and mumbled. _

'_Anyone else injured?' Voldemort asked, his blood already boiling but a small satisfied smile on his face. Just a small smile. _

'_No my Lord. Just Dolohov. We've retained him, but I'm worried my Lord.' _

_Voldemort turned around to face Snape, who was looking at him with a mixture of fright and admiration. _

'_My Lord?' he asked, confusion in his expression at the scrutinising look from Lord Voldemort. _

'_Severus, would you be able to perhaps get me a potion. The Timore Potion?' _

_Snape stuttered but nodded. 'It's in the store cupboards. I can get a batch down to you at midnight. But what do you need the Fear's potion for my Lord?' _

_Voldemort smiled, looking at both men with small smiles. 'You'll find out sooner or later.' _

Sirius frowned, frowned deep and hard. The Timore Potion? What did Lord Voldemort want with it. The potion released someone's deepest fears, a bit like the influence Dementors had on people and very much like a Boggart.

And then Sirius gasped. He knew what Voldemort was trying to do. The memory was already fading from his mind, but the pain in his forearm grew stronger. He looked down at it, as did all the others.

It had once again resumed to its milky white, camouflaged with his pale skin.

Sirius met Dumbledore's gaze with his own. And both men felt the same emotion; fear.

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><p><em>AN: Hey guys, I hope this hasn't taken too long to update. It's been loads of fun writing this, especially the scenes with Remus and James and Peter. Sirius is getting harder to write, but I love the direction I've taken this story. It isn't too angsty is it? I've tried to make it funny at times, but I think during a war even the Marauders wouldn't be able to have fun and laugh as much._

_Thanks for the reviews, really, they've lifted my spirit a lot! And to all you who have alerted and favourited, please leave a review about what you think so far of this story. _

_I hope you liked this chapter, take care!_

_xo_


	26. Begged

_Disclaimer; I don't own anything, apart from the plot and OCs and some spells I've created off google translator ;) Oh, and when Remus in this chapter talks about Switzerland, Basel is a real city, and very popular and beautiful, but the town I made up (Listik) isn't real._

_If you've alerted/favourited and haven't left a review, please do :)_

* * *

><p><em>xoxo <em>

_26. Begged_

Sirius never knew that the Death Eaters could be so ruthless, but he knew he should have expected it. And each time Dumbledore made to stop them, or called out in protest, he received ten times worse. Bellatrix had whips, flicking gold in the light and swishing down on Sirius. He kept slumping to the floor with a cry echoing through the room.

His back was bare and he could feel the potion she put on the tips burn his skin. When he tried to fight back, and he accomplished it more than twice, actually throwing Bella on the floor and delivering a left hook to Rowle, he was petrified.

And Sirius had mentioned this before, that for him being petrified whilst being tortured was the worse thing that they could do to him. His cry would grow and build until the curse was lifted, and then he would scream for as long as he could – at least, that had happened when he had his Dark Mark administered.

But this was different; he had never felt so defensive and rebellious against the Death Eaters' wishes. Was he a masochist? Did he enjoy being hurt? It sure felt like that, with the retorts he spat and the words he sneered. Especially the secrets of those around him he loved to reveal, like how Bellatrix and Crouch were most probably sleeping together.

She knelt down and grabbed a fist full of his hair. He laughed at her. He wasn't scared of her. He was just fucking terrified.

But she didn't need to know that.

'It's a shame he's nine years younger, pervert,' Sirius sneered, grinning malevolently and smirking when her face contorted into a hideous scowl.

Her fury cackled the air, and even a few Death Eaters stepped back from them. She breathed in to calm herself. And then a smile of her own flickered across her face. 'What about your ex-girlfriend, the one that dumped you? Is she dead? I haven't seen her in a while.'

Sirius growled and the fright that flickered through his cousin's eyes gave him courage. But she didn't waver. She smiled again. 'Probably knocked up with some dirty bastard son, how would you feel—?'

He didn't know where the strength came from, but he threw himself at his cousin, his hands enclosing around her throat. Many Death Eaters came running forward but she screeched for them to stop.

'_No!_ Stop,' she said breathlessly, cackling. 'Let's see if he's brave enough to do what he's wanted to do for so long.' And she was answered with a dog-like growl.

'Sirius!' he could hear Dumbledore shouting at him. 'Sirius stop! _Stop!_' The old and clever man ordered but Sirius couldn't hear him. He didn't _want _to hear him.

She was right. Bellatrix was probably right. Rose was probably with some Muggle fool, maybe pregnant or something along those lines. The Muggle would be a drug dealer, with stashes of what Rose loved to indulge herself in.

She had probably forgotten about Sirius. And any time his name was mentioned on the WWN she would turn it off, or if there was an article about him in a newspaper she would throw it in the bin. She had _probably_ forgotten him. But probably wasn't good enough. He wanted to know a definite answer. He didn't want a guess. Not when everything that created him was leaving him, forgetting him.

'What have you heard?' he hissed, and the room was deadly silent, almost as if he shouted it.

'She's got a son, and it's not yours.' Bellatrix whispered, revelling in the emotions flickering across his face.

'No, that's not—' a well cast Silencing Charm on Dumbledore, and he was silent, and with a flick of Rowle's wand, he disappeared. Probably to his bedroom. Voldemort had given Dumbledore his own _bedroom._

Sirius released her and fell back just as five Death Eaters surged forward, throwing him on the floor and binding him, cursing him and hexing him. Then Sirius was put back in his manacles, and he didn't even have the strength to fight them.

She had a son? And it wasn't his? Well it had been less than eleven months since he had last seen her. They broke up, and it wasn't mutual. He wanted her to stay; she wanted to leave. He loved her; she said she needed to discover herself and she didn't want to tie herself with declarations of love. But love didn't fade so quickly, did it? She loved him in Paris; she couldn't just abruptly stop loving him afterwards?

And what Sirius had feared the most, of losing her and loving her all at the same time, had finally come true. She was over him. And in turn, he was going to die with no one to love, no one to love _him_.

Sirius knew that he was alone. Voldemort wanted to see him. He wanted to talk more about the Order. But whereas he tortured Sirius for information, it was almost like he asked Dumbledore simply to ask even though he knew it was hopeless.

The room was empty; they all must have left during his horror, his surprise, his _bitter_ surprise. Rose had really forgotten him? And she had a son? Was he blond like her? Did he have big red lips like her? And small ears and a heart shaped face? Was he fiery like his Mother? And rude and haughty and fun and wild? Did he cry like his Mother, well into the night? Was his own Father even there for him? Sirius stared off into space, his heart contracting.

_If you forgot about me Rose, then I'll forget about you._

_Lies._

The door opened, after hours of silence, after hours of being alone in the attic. Sirius wasn't sure who it was, it might have been Narcissa. And it was. She emerged from the door, carrying her customary glass of water and a banana and some crackers.

She fed Sirius the banana whilst he closed his eyes to stop the tears leaking out. Narcissa's hair was paler than Rose's but it shone gold too. He finished the banana and drank the water and ate the crackers which made his mouth dry.

'Give me some water,' it sounded a little like an order, but there was a pleading note to his voice.

Narcissa regarding him then turned away, walking out of the attic and closing the door behind her sharply. He roared, 'Bitch!' and hopefully she heard it. Sirius's fist balled and he gritted his teeth but breathed in to calm himself.

How could Andromeda, so amazing and kind, be related to these two girls? These two cold and evil and ruthless girls? Sirius remembered when he was younger and how he always wished he would get a wife like Andromeda, someone who loved unconditionally and wholly.

And though his love with Rose had been whole, it wasn't unconditional. At least, sometimes it wasn't. And it wasn't a perfect relationship. It was like fire and ice – the opposites, both bringing down one another until there was nothing left. How often had they been declared the best couple, the worst couple, the most dangerous couple?

When the door opened this time, and the sun had set long ago, it was Voldemort. He was carrying a vial of some blackish looking liquid. Sirius didn't even have the strength inside him to stop, to object. He rolled with it because he probably deserved it.

'What's that?' he couldn't help ask.

Voldemort smiled, his red eyes gleaming and his black hair shining in the dim light from the chandelier. 'This is the Timore Potion.'

Sirius already knew, he suddenly remembered the vision he'd had inside Voldemort's mind. 'Oh.'

The Dark Lord was close now, so close that he could touch Sirius's lips with his own simply by pouting. Voldemort didn't have a smell, almost like how Sirius imagined the Angel of Death would smell. Like nothing but coldness and the stench of soon-to-be death.

'W-why...' Sirius breathed in deeply to calm his breathing. 'What would you need the Fear's Potion for?' he asked, licking his dry lips.

Voldemort smiled softly. 'I think,' he whispered. 'I think you already know. Open your mouth, or you could swallow it the hard way.'

Sirius was so tired, too tired to put up a fight. He let Voldemort tilt his head back and he open his mouth. How much worse could this get? How much worse could the torture and the pain and the hurt get? When he was already so deep under.

Sirius swallowed it when Voldemort released his hard grip. Sirius shivered as he felt the disgusting, slow, gloop slithering down his throat. He gagged but after barely a few seconds it started. The memories, the fears, the fright and the _pain_, it kick-started in his mind. He remembered it all.

_xo _

James and Remus had walked side by side, exchanging gleeful banter and arriving at the border building for disapparation with Peter walking slowly behind them. They could safely apparate now they were out of Britain. At first James and Peter stood back, watching Remus as he sunk into what they called "Librarian Mode" and talked politely and calmly to a receptionist witch.

But it had been hours and they were no closer to getting through than they had been back in London. The woman was really being quite annoying, asking for identification and all of that.

'Look, we just want to get into Switzerland, we could walk twenty minutes and we'll be there. Why are you being so difficult?' Remus snapped irritably, his calm and cool demeanour snapping, but in all honesty it had snapped two hours back.

Peter, who was waiting besides Remus, sighed in a bored manner.

'Without identification, I cannot let you through! Come back later with passports and wizarding certificates, and yes, I'll let you through!'

James bared his teeth. Well James had had enough. He took out his wand and willed it to follow his commands non-verbally. _Imperio._ He thought. The woman immediately changed in demeanour. She stood up straighter and her face turned into a wide smile. It was like she was a new person.

The man half asleep besides her barely batted an eyelash.

'Okay then, you may pass through that door and proceed into a small room. Disapparate when you hear the bell. Thank you and enjoy your holiday.'

Remus immediately knew what James did, but he didn't turn around and lecture his friend. He handed her over some galleons and then led the way to the entrance of the door. As soon as they were in the very small and empty room, he turned around angrily at James.

'An Unforgiveable? You _actually used _an Unforgiveable? You do realise that they're _Unforgiveable!_'

James barged Remus out of the way and tucked his wand into his pocket. 'Of course I do. I think I gathered that useful piece of information the first time I heard the word Unforgiveable, but thanks. It's extremely helpful you've reminded me.'

Remus bared his teeth (the wolf had backed down, but still sprung to the surface every few hours) and said in an annoyed voice, 'You can't go 'round doing that Prongs. It's not right.'

'Look,' James said, turning to face Remus and Peter. 'I'm sorry okay, I won't do it again, even though we always turn a blind eye when Sirius does it, which is a million times a day, you know the bastard loves dark magic, even though he pretends not too ... Where was I? Oh yeah, it's just we've been here for four hours and the bitch wasn't getting what we were saying through her damn French head. And now look, we're going to—'

The bell went off, and one by one they disapparated, appearing in an almost identical room barely half a kilometre from where they had just been, but now in Switzerland.

'— find some werewolves to help save Padfoot instead of wasting time.' James beamed, flashing his perfect white teeth. Remus sighed then smiled half-heartedly and followed the bespectacled Marauder out of the room. James was right; Sirius always used dark magic, especially in battles. The man could throw a sharp Cruciatus. They smiled at another woman, older and happier than the previous one, letting them go through with a kind smile on her aged face.

'Where did you go on that mission exactly?' asked Peter, from behind them. Remus moved wearily to make room for the shorter man, almost a head shorter.

'I went to the beautiful city Basel. A forest in a small town called Listik. It was beautiful there.' Remus smiled at the fond memory.

'Well then,' James said, plucking out two cigarettes, popping one in Remus's mouth and then his own, 'we better set off to the beautiful city you're talking about.' He threw an arm Remus and they walked in quiet companionship, with Peter behind them, his courage already faltering.

_xo _

The first memory that resurfaced was one of Sirius's worst. It was when he ran away, only sixteen years old. Sometimes, without a Dementor or Boggart in the room, he still remembered this day, as if it were permanently etched into his brain. He had never been so hurt by his family. He had never felt so _hated_.

_x_

Sirius had a quaffle in his hands, one he had nicked from James's years ago. He threw it at the ceiling, adorned with Gryffindor colours, and caught it. He was lying on his enormous, handsome oak bed. Around him were walls, most covered in large posters of half naked and very pretty Muggles, and a handful of motorbikes.

There was Sirius's favourite right above his head, one of a bikini-clad Muggle _on _a motorbike – two of his favourite things. He called the brunette 'Kelly', a rather fitting nickname Remus had come up with, yes, Remus.

His stomach growled noisily. But he refused to go downstairs. He could go and get something to eat later, preferably when his Father was off at "work" again or his Mother was at Aunt Druella's. Sirius didn't even know why they bothered lying to each other, when the lies were transparent enough for even a stranger to realise. Even Regulus could see through them, and he didn't enjoy seeing things like that. Like his family falling apart.

Well his family had been falling apart ever since Sirius got placed in Gryffindor, in fact, ever since both Orion and Walburga met each other and got married and had two children.

Sirius reached over to his cabinet and plucked out his OWLs results. He had gotten much better then he expected, but he had spent a few weeks revising. He had gotten eight outstandings and one exceeds expectations. Ah well, you couldn't have them all. But his parents hadn't acted as though they were proud, but rather his Father snapped about the EE. Sirius really hated him sometimes. And if he didn't hate his Father, he disliked him. But there was never any love or affection. He'd gotten over the fact that they no longer loved each other anymore, and the only reason Orion Black put up with Sirius was because he's the heir. He'd stopped loving his son a long time ago.

Another reason for Sirius's refusal to go and eat downstairs was the fact that his Mother had made him cut his hair. She had cut it all off, literally. He had been almost _bald_. Until he cast some magic and now it barely came to his jaw and was parted in the middle, falling in gentle waves on either side of his face.

He looked charming, and quite liked it. But his Mother hadn't seen it yet.

'SIRIUS!' he heard someone bellow for the fourth time. Sirius chuckled, leaning back on the headboard of the bed and marvelling at how much he could hate his parents and how natural it felt, as if it were the only option. He pulled out a packet of cigarettes and lit one, inhaling and savouring the smoke, almost like lost lovers do to one another.

He suddenly wished his friends were with him. James would be lounging on the bed with him, Peter would be sitting on the floor, looking at things and Remus usually would be climbing the beams on Sirius's ceiling, ducking from the chandelier and dangling dangerously four metres above the hard oak floor.

He missed his friends, more than he thought he would. But they had gotten especially close this year, closer than they already were, especially now that the Animagi transformations were complete.

Sirius straightened up; he could hear furious stomping down the corridor. In a matter of moments the door was thrown open and there was his Mother. With her black curls piled on her head, and her face surprisingly void of any makeup. She was very beautiful, and Sirius had inherited all of her looks. Right from the grey eyes to the full lips.

'Hello Mother,' he said, quirking up an eyebrow and inhaling more smoke, exhaling it into the already foggy room.

If possible, his Mother grew angrier. She attempted to kick his trunk out of the way as she stormed over to her son. Sirius would have shivered at the hatred in her gaze had he not been use to it, had it not been entertaining. And boy was it entertaining.

'Put that out.' She ordered sharply.

He looked her in the eyes as he put it in his mouth once more, sucking it in and exhaling and licking his lips, almost in a seductive manner. That was until she wrenched it out of his mouth, "accidentally" burning his arm and gaining a husky shout.

'What did you do that for?' he snarled at her, moving away. Sirius looked down at his forearm, where sure enough there was a large gleaming red burn.

Walburga Black threw back her head and laughed. 'You weren't listening. Now get your filthy blood-traitor backside down them stairs, and eat with your family.'

It was Sirius's turn to laugh at her. 'You think I want to sit down for a long period of time in the presence of you and Father? You make me _sick_.'

Walburga's hand shot out and she slapped him. Sirius turned his face to look her in the eye, already an angry red mark forming on his white skin.

'You wanna try that again?' she asked him.

He looked her in the eyes, with hatred in even the sparkle of his irises. He grasped blindly for words to describe how much he despised his Mother.

'I ... I _hate_ you. More than you'll ever know, I hate you so much. So I'm not coming downstairs.' But then she grasped his collar and tried to drag him out of bed, despite the fact he was over half a foot taller than her and so much stronger. Sirius accidentally barged her, but he felt satisfaction when she stumbled.

And then she roared in anger. Before he knew it his Father was in the doorway. Sirius was scared of his Father, but he was more scared of himself than anyone or anything (not including Dementors).

'You hate us, eh boy?' the voice sent shivers down Sirius's back, and he felt his pace quicken.

Orion Black strode over to him and balled his fist, punching Sirius in the stomach. He fell into his bookshelves, a cascade of hardbacks falling on him. It couldn't really be called a scuffle, because his Father was stronger, and was destroying him though he did manage to land a few blows himself, and earn a grunt or two.

And Walburga stood there and watched as her son kicked his Father, being rewarded with a sharp slap and a punch. That was until Sirius grabbed his wand, stepping back and pointing it at his Father. His wand hand was trembling, and it didn't help when he was greeted with a wand in his face too.

'You think you know more magic then me?' asked Orion, whispering the dark torture curse. '_Crucio_.'

Sirius fell on his knees, his wand rolling from his hand and his body rippling with pain. He cried out as loud as he could, and his chest was heaving as he fought for oxygen.

When the spell was lifted, Sirius found himself laughing. 'So _that's_ what the Cruciatus Curse feels like. I imagined it to be more painful.'

A bolt of fire shot at Sirius but his fast reflexes saved him from being burned. But he wasn't saved from a bolt of purple shooting for him, and when it scrapped his leg. He roared with pain, the thin blue cotton of his pyjama trousers colouring with scarlet blood instantly.

Sirius looked up in horror at his Father whose face was satisfied. It was almost like he was happy he hurt Sirius. Well hurt was an understatement. The younger boy's body was throbbing with pain and he was silently crying.

'You hate us? Hate isn't even powerful enough to describe what your Mother and I feel about you. This whole family has been shamed, _shamed_ by you. I wish you were dead. I wish you were never born.' Orion spat on the floor, besides Sirius's feet.

'You wish I was never born?' Sirius asked, standing up straight, despite the tenderness of his stomach and the ache deep inside his chest. He wiped the tears and snot from his face with his sleeve.

Orion laughed and backhanded Sirius once again, splitting open his lip. His nose was already bleeding so why not damage Sirius's face a little more. 'I wish that and so much _more_.'

Sirius's hand flew up to his face, and he almost tentatively touched the blood coating his face. 'Okay.' He said in a voice that sounded unlike his own.

He stood up straighter until he only a few inches shorter than his Father. He looked towards his Mother who had an almost pained expression on his face.

Sirius snatched his wand from the floor and pocketed it, before pulling open his drawers and throwing possession after possession on his bed. Walburga tried to grab him, but Orion stopped her.

'You think running away will solve anything? You think you can survive _five minutes_ out there?' spat his Father, a menacing and malevolent gleam in his sapphire eyes.

Sirius ignored them and pulled out a spare, empty trunk. He was sobbing quiet sobs but he didn't care because he could hear his Mother shouting at him, shouting _for_ him. She probably only cared about what people would say, what newspapers would publish, '_SIRIUS BLACK, HEIR TO THE HOUSE OF BLACK FORTUNE, RUNS AWAY!'_

The shame he would bring them, his parting gift. Sirius pulled out a sack of maybe a hundred galleons to use for a hotel when his Father snatched it out of his hands.

'YOU WANT TO LEAVE US? YOU WANT TO LEAVE YOUR FAMILY! THEN YOU CAN STARVE ON THE STREETS FOR ALL I CARE!'

Sirius's eyes widened in shock, did they really hate him that much? He wiped the spit off his face but Orion whipped him around again, pushing his son against the wall and pressing closer to him until their foreheads were touching. 'If you leave boy, you aren't coming back.' Then he released Sirius roughly.

Sirius pulled out his wand, more possessions soaring into his school trunk and the empty one until they were filled to the brim. The room still had many things in it but Sirius didn't care. He had all that mattered. And there were still some sickles and knuts at the bottom of his trunk.

He could kip in an alley, or at some brothel, right? What was he kidding himself, he'd have to go to the only home he ever knew, forcing his dignity and pride out of the way and doing best for him. He'd have to go to the Potters.

'If I intended to come back, then I wouldn't bother leaving at all.' Sirius said coolly. How quickly had this all escalated? But things had been building up for a long long time. His parents were just looking for an excuse to throw him out.

These past three weeks here in Grimmauld Place had been some of the worst days in his life. Only last week had he gotten out of the cellar. And even then his parents didn't want to speak to him. They wanted him in Regulus's presence so they could show Sirius how much they loved their other son.

Little did his parents know but his motorbike was in his room, only it was shrunk so small it could fit into a nostril. Sirius pulled out the pouch he kept it in and turned to his parents.

'You're being a rash, reckless fool Sirius.' Walburga said, her eyes glistening like Sirius's did when he was angry. In that moment he couldn't believe how much they looked alike.

'So you're saying you _want _me to stay? You want me here, with you. Whilst I'm treated worse than Kreacher for crying out loud! I don't belong here; I don't belong with you.'

Sirius knew the magic he was doing was illegal but in the House of Black they had such spells that his magic couldn't be indentified, it was untraceable and therefore doable.

He charmed the trunks and had them follow him, where they proceeded to make a loud racket, banging each stair as he descended. Waiting near the staircase was Regulus, with an amazed and disbelieving expression. When he saw the trunks his eyes bulged and he started shaking his head angrily.

'No, _no,_ don't do this Sirius, please, _please_ don't leave us—'

'Get out of the way Reg,' he barked impatiently. 'They don't want me here, _you_ don't want me here.'

'PLEASE SIRIUS!' cried Walburga, hurrying down the steps. 'You will starve, and once you leave through those doors you can't come back, I won't allow you to come back! Think for a moment! Think for once in your pathetic existence.' She didn't care if he starved, she cared about her reputation. And he was as much her reputation as she was.

Regulus approached Sirius, almost as tall but not quite. He grasped the lapels of the leather jacket his brother had just put on and looked his brother in the eyes.

'Think for one moment Sirius,' whispered Regulus with the most pleading look. 'Please, just think what you're doing. Think of what it will _do_ to the rest of us, what it will do to me without you ... I- I don't ... I don't _want_ to be the heir.' He begged the last sentence, in a very quiet voice.

Sirius looked into those stunning sapphire eyes and shrugged. 'I don't too.' He felt something heavy in his pocket and then his brother released him, with a bitter and resentful glare.

Orion, out of all the Blacks was the only one wearing a smile, though it was tight and strained it was a smile nonetheless. He appraised Sirius. 'For so long I have thought of disowning you. And now I can. You, Sirius Black, are _no longer a Black_.' Then his eyes flickered with restrained evil. The house cackled with electricity, and they watched in amazement as some light sifted from Sirius into Regulus.

He was not the heir now. He was free. He was _free!_

'And now you are _no longer my Father,_' replied Sirius with a sneer on his face. His injuries hurt so much more now, like his lip and his nose and his whole body from the torture curse. Like his stomach from the blows he had received and his legs from the kicks he had gotten.

Sirius was almost surprised. He walked further from the family, Regulus closest and with the most heartbroken expression, Walburga behind, clutching his face and eyes wide as dinner plates.

And Orion. Orion Black wore nothing but a satisfied smirk. 'Where will you stay, little one?' he asked, both curiosity and taunting in his voice.

The statement from his Father was worse than any of the blows he had received minutes ago, because Orion Black asked the question with such boredom and indifference, as though he really didn't care if Sirius stayed or didn't.

He wished that someone, anyone would beg him to stay. He wished one of his parents would apologise and for once, for the first time in such a very long time, they would kiss him and tell him they love him. But none of that happened. And he felt more tears fall form in his eyes, dribbling subtly down.

Sirius's hands enclosed around the brass handle of the front door and he threw it open, wafting the house with the warm summer air. It was twilight and rather beautiful outside.

'With my family, with my _real_ family. With the Potters.' And then he hauled the two very heavy trunks and walked out of the house. The gate magically opened for him and he walked through, turning only once to look at his family, shooting an infamous smirk. And only when Sirius was in an alley and could magically enlarge his bike did he register that hateful glare from Regulus as he took place to fill Sirius's spot as heir.

And that was when he remembered the heavy thing that had been put in his pocket. Sirius pulled out a red velvet bag, not his own grey one, but instead his younger brother's. Inside was well over a hundred galleons and Sirius frowned.

And before he knew it, standing before his beautiful roaring motorbike, did he break down and cry. And boy did Sirius Black cry _hard._

_ox _

Sirius was only nine, how was he supposed to know any better? How was he supposed to know that he wasn't allowed to say Muggles looked a lot like him, virtually the same? How was he supposed to know he wasn't allowed to comment on how they looked like humans?

Well now he knew. It was agonising. Sirius had been thrown in the cellar many times, maybe a dozen? And he had cried each time, begging harder and harder.

But this was the first time _they _were there. The Boggarts; the Dementors. He cried and clawed at the metal cellar door until his hands were bloody and he was snivelling. The cellar was pitch black and the only source of light was the reasonably large gap (about an inch) between the door and the floor.

'PLEASE! PLEASE MOTHER! I'M SORRY!' he cried again, impatiently wiping his face. Sirius turned around, the Dementors were getting closer. The two tall, dark sweeping figures were gaining and his screaming wasn't helping.

Was it possible for Dementors to climb stairs? Because that was what they did. Sirius banged and banged as hard as he could. But then they were too close, far too close.

He screamed a high pitched scream as he felt something ripple inside him, and images flicker before his eyes. One of the Dementors reached out, and Sirius jumped back, stumbling and falling down the hard stone stairs, his head splitting open with raging pain, his world shattering away. Sirius could hear a high piercing shrill scream and begged for it to stop. But it was himself.

And when he woke up a while later and dared himself to raise his head, he saw the Dementors were still there, standing in front of some soggy bread and looking down at him. Sirius opened his mouth and screamed again.

_ox _

Sirius had many days he despised. He hated Thursdays for example, because it was too close to Friday, the last day of the week. He also hated days when he was summoned to Dumbledore's office.

What was worse was when he had been summoned a few hours after the first meeting in Dumbledore's office, because of an incident. An incident that included Severus Snape, the Whomping Willow, a fully grown werewolf and James. Sirius barely remembered anything that had happened from the moment he was told Uncle Alphard had died to when he was found near the Whomping Willow, James and Snape slumped near him. It was almost like he had been in a trance, and he had. He was drunk, very drunk.

As soon as Dumbledore had told him about Alphard's death, he staggered out of the office, to the kitchens were he proceeded to get pissed. And boy did he get pissed. Then he came across Snape, a taunting Snape.

'I thought you were brave, but you're _crying_...' He had said more than once, thoroughly enjoying the fact that the brave Sirius Black was crying like a girl.

And Sirius snapped when he mentioned the full moon, and his suspicions that something was going on with the Marauders.

Sirius wanted to watch him quake in horror as he came face to face with a fully grown werewolf, he wanted Snape to run and cry and scream himself hoarse. And so he told him how to get into the Whomping Willow, how he could see for himself if all his suspicions were true or not. And he had turned away and walked (staggered) to the common room.

Inside James was pacing near the fireplace and Peter was sitting anxiously, scratching his forearm worriedly. The common room was quiet, and Sirius was laughing loudly, ignoring the glares shot towards him, and some others who were laughing as he tripped again and again on his journey to his friends. James hurried forward and grabbed him, shouting furiously at Sirius.

'You're _drunk_, fucking drunk? And we need to go down in five minutes.' He hissed the last sentence quietly but Sirius ignored him.

'S'okay, we won't need ta.' He managed to say, licking his lips and scratching his neck. James's eyes had bulged and he took one look at Sirius to know the handsome young man had done something most horrible, more grievous. Because there it was, that evil smile that all the Marauders tried to ignore, that they couldn't ignore.

Because they knew Sirius was a Black, and he would be one forever. James didn't care if the common room was quiet, and only a few were chatting and many others were watching the scene, he seized Sirius by his lapels and pushed him as hard as he could into the wall, almost clashing their heads.

'What have you done?' his whisper seemed to carry across the large room. There was silence for a moment, even the older Gryffindors had stopped talking to turn and see what was happening. 'WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?' James had roared.

Sirius grinned a delirious and evil grin, and in that moment he looked exactly like his Mother, more so then he would ever know. 'I told Snape where to go,' he whispered in James's ear, withdrawing his face to see his friend's expression and whether he was as thrilled at the prank as Sirius.

But James wasn't smiling or laughing, he looked like someone told him his parents had died. He released Sirius as though he'd been burned, but not before delivering a blow to his stomach. Sirius reeled and fell on his knees, dangerously close to getting burnt in the fireplace.

'Wha- that fo'.' Sirius managed to wheeze.

'You idiot,' James had cried. 'You fucking idiot!' he was about to kick Sirius when someone stopped him, it must have been Longbottom, in his seventh year.

'What?' Sirius had asked, the most confused he had ever been. 'What 'ave I done?'

'You're so stupid,' James breathed, 'Don't you ever fucking think Sirius? You don't know what you've done! You've ruined _everything!_ You'll be kicked out for this, and I have to go and save your fucking arse!' James cried loudly, swivelling out of Frank's arms and racing to the portrait. He shouted for the portrait to open and when it did (The Fat Lady was very angry at the way James had spoken to her) he was gone, tearing down the corridor and out of sight.

The last thing they heard was, 'PETER! GET DUMBLEDORE!'

Peter looked anxiously at Sirius. 'Pads, he's going to get hurt by...' Peter didn't need to finish, he just frowned and then followed James but turned in the direction of Professor Dumbledore's office.

Almost all eyes were on Sirius, who stood up stiffly and tried to walk, but the firewhiskey had finally gotten to him. He staggered and fell again, but managed to make his way to the portrait hole. And then he tried to run, almost falling down the stairs a few times.

The rest was a blur of shouting and screaming and running, and then Sirius passed out near the Whomping Willow after James pushed him away – Sirius had been about to jump into the tunnel of the Shrieking Shack and even though James hated him so much right now, he threw himself forward to save him friend, pushing Sirius into the grass and ordering him to stay there.

But although this was one of his worst memories, the day that followed was worse. Sirius could handle the punishments: the detentions for the rest of the term every fucking day, being banned from all Hogsmeade trips until the end of the year and of course, his parents being contacted.

These were all awful punishments, but he could deal with it. What he couldn't deal with was walking into the common room the next morning with no friends. When he entered all the younger Gryffindors were appraising him with weary and worried eyes, and the older Gryffindors were glaring bitterly at him. Had Sirius mentioned he'd gotten two hundred and fifty points taken off?

Rose hurried up to him, her hair dancing behind her. 'Sirius,' she breathed, taking his hand. 'What happened? Why were you almost kicked out? What did you _do?_' everyone was listening now, anxious as to what exactly Sirius had done to have his place at Hogwarts threatened.

He was surprised too, expecting James to have told Rose since they were going out, had been for three months now. May as well tell her part of it, ease the minds of all these nosy Gryffindors.

'I almost got Snape killed. He almost got me killed.'

Rose scoffed, laughing, 'You're lying,' she said.

He shrugged, and touched her cheek, wishing she was his, 'You think whatever you want Rosie,' he replied, bounding up the stairs.

And when Sirius had entered their dorm, only James and Peter were there – the injuries Remus had given himself after getting a whiff, a _look_ at a human ... they were fatal injuries. He had torn himself apart at the thought of a tasty meal being plucked from his very reach.

Sirius stood awkwardly at the door. All the alcohol was out of his system, and he felt horribly bad. He still thought Snape deserved it, deserved to be scared the hell out of his wits. Snape needed to learn not to interfere in other people's business, and that not all secrets needed to be revealed.

But Sirius would never mention that, otherwise he might never get his friends back. It already felt like he would never get them back. And he wanted them back so much.

James approached Sirius, who backed wearily into the door until his head was against it. He watched James, who came so close to him they could have hugged or head butted each other, but when he looked into those hazel eyes all he could see was hatred. Hatred and sadness and loathing, pity and a little bit of forgiveness, and heartbreak.

'We're going to the hospital wing, you can't come with us. In fact don't go at all.' James said very quietly.

Sirius nodded. He was definitely going to go and apologise to Remus, who wouldn't forgive him, might never, but he owed it to the most amazing person he knew. Sirius opened his mouth but closed it, and then of course, he opened it again. 'I-I ... James I never meant it—'

'Don't lie to me Sirius; you knew what you were doing. Maybe you weren't in the right frame of mind, that's why I haven't _murdered_ you yet but Sirius ... but it didn't spontaneously come into your mind! You did what you have felt like doing for a long time; only being pissed made you forget the repercussions ... h-how could you do this to Remus? To _me_?' There was more angst in his voice than anger.

'I...' Sirius ducked his head and looked at his feet. He still felt like laughing, still felt like smiling, surely it wasn't too bad. So Snape had knocked himself out, and Remus had ripped open his own body, but everyone was alright. And moreover, Snape would know now never to mess with Sirius.

'Look at me Sirius,' James said in a tight voice.

Sirius looked up, and was met with an ice cold stare. 'I'm ... I'm l-looking at you,' James's stuttered, finding it hard to place the words. 'But — but I can't even_ recognise_ you.'

And then him and Peter left. Sirius barely cared anymore. They would become his friends again right? Tomorrow they would understand everything, they would accept his apology. But he knew deep down they probably wouldn't. Not for a while. But he was so tired, and so sad. His uncle had died, his friendship with the best people to ever enter his life had died. He was just so tired.

His favourite uncle was dead. His only true uncle who didn't hurt him or insult him or demean him. Sirius sat on the edge of his bed, pulling out a dusty picture from his family photo album and smiling at it, tears falling. There was him, his uncle and his little brother. Sirius was only six and already showing magical signs of power by the way the petals were swarming around his head, and Sirius was chuckling, squeezing his tiny fists and waving his short fingers.

Then he turned his head to look out of the window besides his bed, between his and James's. Stuck underneath it was a large collection of photographs, The most recent one was of all four of them, the Marauders, sitting around their beech tree. Well Sirius was dangling from one branch, and Remus was hanging upside down from another. Peter was lounged across the floor and James was slumped against the trunk, a snitch zooming around before him.

This had only been two weeks ago. He fell asleep on the floor, having crept closer to the pictures. And his hand still clutched the photograph. When he woke up there was a blanket draped over him.

Sirius had been wrong. It hadn't taken a day, or even a week for the Marauders to forgive him. It took almost a month, and only because they saw him after the funeral for his uncle, with a big bruise on his cheek and a blackening eye and a bloody nose — his Father had beaten him up. He was wearing his best robes, with his jet black hair slicked back and his skin white with sadness. He was beautiful.

His eyes were sparkling with tears and he was favouring his left leg, walking tenderly. He stopped in the middle of the entrance hall, ignoring many people watching the scene, ignoring everything except his old friends. Remus gave him a shy smile, one of those smiles he'd been sending Sirius for the past few weeks, and Peter was scratching his forearm anxiously.

But it was James who Sirius looked at the longest. He was about to run a hand through his hair when he dropped it, his hair was slicked back and he wouldn't want to ruin it. Especially since in an hour he was going to Dumbledore's office again for a meeting with Alphard's lawyer — yes, wizards and witches had lawyers. Sirius already knew what it was about, he'd inherited most of Alphard's will. Including almost two hundred thousand galleons.

But suddenly none of that mattered; all that mattered were his friends who were watching him. There was a small gap in between Remus and James, where Sirius usually stood. It invited him forward. On shaky legs he walked until he was a foot from them. Until they could see the disgusting cuts on his face and the way he was cautious on his left side.

Remus stepped forward and conjured some cotton wool for Sirius to dab his nose with which he did.

The silence was awkward, especially with many people watching the handsome boy dressed for a funeral, and the way the Marauders radiated sadness. James opened and closed his mouth, and then he threw back his head and laughed hard. 'Why didn't you tell us old Uncle Al died?'

'Must've slipped my mind,' Sirius replied, dabbing his nose and looking at the already soaked cotton wool.

'Come on then, let's get you to Madam Pomfrey.'

_o _

Voldemort sat on a chair, looking down at a large basin. Reflected in the basin were Sirius's memories, and he was looking down at them as if they were the most dangerous memories Sirius could have ever shown him.

Sirius however wasn't paying attention to his "Lord" but rather, was trying ever so hard to push away those memories. He was shaking in his chains, the soft noise of metal on metal sounding through the room. He looked up at Voldemort, who had finished watching the last memory.

After a minute, the Dark Lord stood up. 'I think I need to give you some more, three memories is nearly not enough.'

'Please,' Sirius said before he could even register the word pleading to come out. He didn't want to see more, he didn't want Voldemort seeing his memories, part of his life and his soul. 'Please,' his voice sounded so broken and tired.

Voldemort looked ecstatic, the most he had since had captured Dumbledore. The boy who had been so cocky and so resilient towards the Legilimency and the Imperius Curse was now begging. He hadn't begged when he was tortured yet a bunch of horrid memories had him uttering a word he hadn't said during his whole "stay" here. Brilliant. Voldemort wished he had thought of this sooner.

Voldemort looked down at Sirius with mooned eyes. 'Tell me the address then, and this will all be over Sirius,' his voice regained the smooth, beautiful silky quality.

Sirius bit his lip, crying out when images of his dead brother flickered before his eyes. The body that was so unrecognisable Sirius wasn't even sure if it was Regulus.

'I – can't –' he managed to wheeze.

'It's just a sentence Sirius, just where they are,' the Dark Lord's voice grew quieter, and as if to persuade Sirius he shook some of the remains of the potion in its vial.

Sirius bared his teeth, as if in the worst pain. 'They're ... they ... i-in G– NO! No, I _can't_!' he suddenly cried, feeling disgust that he almost revealed it.

Had he really just said it? Had he really been moments from exposing his friends? Sirius had never felt so disgusted. He wanted to rip his own throat out, he wanted to pull out his voice box and jump off the Astronomy tower and burn himself and so many other gruesome things because he had been words away from revealing his friends, killing his friends.

Anger exploded inside of him, and he was screaming before he knew it. 'I CAN'T! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU! WHY DO ... WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO _CONFUSE_ ME! I CAN'T TELL YOU, I WON'T TELL YOU!' Sirius roared, with more energy than he'd had these past few weeks. 'YOU _MONSTER!_ YOU FILTHY HALF-BLO—'

Never in his life, never in his dreams had Sirius thought he would reveal, _almost_ reveal the location of the Potters home. But never in his life, in his dreams, had he thought, after almost saying the words "half-blood" that he would feel a pain so deep.

Sirius had screamed for over an hour, until he couldn't feel his arms and legs. Until he couldn't even prop his head up, couldn't drink the water pressed to his lips. Until he found it so hard to breathe he turned a bluish colour, until he felt like he was drowning. Narcissa had to force him to drink something, tried to cast a spell so he would breathe easily, his blue skin was worrying them.

Flashing before his eyes were some animals consoling him, one of the animals calling him Paddy and said he had nice orange eyes.

'I don't have orange eyes,' Sirius told the small kitten who cuddled up besides him. 'I have grey eyes.' He told her whilst stroking her soft fur.

'They look orange to me,' another animal said, this time a rabbit. 'Don't worry, I like sunsets and your eyes look like sunsets.'

Water was forced down his throat, and the animals skipped away, promising to speak to him later. When Sirius opened his eyes it was to Bellatrix, forcing more liquid down his throat.

'Your eyes look grey to me.' She said with a smile on her face, like she knew he was going mad.

_xo _

It had been two days, and they had finally tracked down the werewolves. But they hadn't entered the enormous clearing yet. They wouldn't do that. It was stupid and dangerous and also very rude. So they copied what Remus did and called out when they were over a hundred metres away.

Feral werewolves had incredible hearing that was permanent for them, and not like Remus's which strengthened as the moon grew fuller and weakened the smaller it became, but it was still incredible.

The three men waited where they were, leaning against large trees and dressed in camping clothes. Or rather, thick boots and large coats. James pressed the tip of his cigarette against the trunk but Remus finished his, revelling in the smoke stirring in his chest. He was a social smoker, his Mother always complained whenever he smelt of it.

Especially since she lost her Father to lung cancer, thanks to smoking.

They came tentatively, only three of them, and Remus only recognised two. He smiled, especially when the girl, Leila, hurried forward and leapt into his arms. She was about twenty years older than him, but as small as a young girl.

'Remus,' she said in a thick Eastern European accent. Her skin was dark, almost brown, and her eyes were black but very wide and beautiful. The man behind her who Remus didn't recognise had sun kissed skin, and when he spoke it was in an American accent.

'Who is he?' he asked the tall girl besides him. The tall girl was the pack leader, and very fair, even nice towards Remus. She whispered in the young man's ear who nodded and lightened considerably, even smiling at Remus.

'Hello Juliette.' Remus said politely, smiling at her. He looked less feral than them, but his animal instincts kicked in, especially in close proximity to people of the same species as him. He felt a little horny if he was honest, but it was just the wolf longing to mate with Juliette. She was a fine sight. Not necessarily beautiful, but ever so fine.

'Remus.' She said simply, nodding at James and Peter. 'And why are you here?'

He smiled kindly at her, putting an arm around Leila and approaching the pack leader. 'Shall I be blunt and honest, or would you like to invite me into the camp?' he asked her with the slight smirk on his face.

And even Juliette couldn't stop the small smile on her face. The three Marauders followed her into clearing, and James and Peter were both surprised.

They had expected something like a bunch of naked dirty men and women, wrestling and tearing at each other's faces. They had already been surprised by the three werewolves who approached them, but thought that maybe it was just a front.

But here were a group of men and women, some old and some young. Most of them were surrounding a fire, and though it was only around four the sky was already a mid blue, and the sun was lowering. They were all dressed warmly, and there were tents around.

All the werewolves (there must have been two dozen) turned to look at the three Marauders. James subconsciously moved closer to Remus.

Many waved at Remus and others called his name, or rather a nickname, 'TAME!' they were calling, chuckling amongst themselves. He grinned at them.

'Hello,' he called, and many greeted him back but remained where they were.

'D'you want some soup? It's rabbit and squirrel?' Leila offered, her arm around Remus never loosening. He nodded, his stomach growling. They had finished all their food on their way here, before they could make more of it. As for the water and alcohol they brought along with them ...

Remus was quite ashamed, but he had finished the last bottle of firewhiskey, and was punished by James. Yep, he let his friend push him down a hill and take a picture or two of a very dirty and muddy and drunk Remus.

'Yes please,' James said, smiling at her. He sunk into his friendly demeanour, one where everyone and anyone liked him. He reached out a hand to her and she took it, with a cautious smile on her face.

'And your name is...'

'I'm James Potter and this is Peter Pettigrew. You can just call him Pettigrew, he doesn't mind, he doesn't matter. Do you Pete?' he asked, turning a nasty look on Peter.

This whole trip (could you call it a trip?) James had been very hostile towards Peter. But it was only when the boy did something to grate on his nerves. Then again, that was almost everything from breathing too loudly to walking too slow or fast.

'Well, sit over there away from the others. I don't want them to hear what we discuss.' She said. An hour later, and all three Marauders were stuffed. The food had been fresh and well cooked, and the water they were given had quenched their thirst.

James fell back on the soft, icy grass, shivering and laughing, white air covering his face with each breath. 'That's the best meal I've had all week.' He said.

Remus licked his fingers, looking around at the other werewolves; some were listening to a wireless where French and German music was playing, gently filling the camp site. It was very tidy, there was an enormous and magically enlarged tent (Remus had been the one in fact to enlarge it for them) where they used it as a kitchen. Another was used as a toilet and the others was where they slept.

It upset Remus a lot to see how they lived, and how he would be like them or perhaps even worse. Since these were neutral and sensible werewolves, unlike some of the packs living in Romania and Bulgaria, they were mostly left alone. He shivered at the thought of his parents dumping him off to one of them.

'It really was,' said Peter shyly, tucking some blond hair behind his small pink ears. Remus took of his hat and threw it to Peter who thanked him quietly and put it on. Remus didn't acknowledge it, instead appraising Peter once again with one of his indifferent and cool looks.

'Thank Leila and Martin,' said Juliette. 'Now, why are you here Remus?' She didn't ask in a rude way but almost tired and worried.

Remus took her hand, a little anxious to see if she would push him away but surprisingly, she put her other hand over his. She was startlingly warm for such a cold time.

'I am here to ask for a favour. I know you said to me all those months ago that you wouldn't involve yourself in our war, the British war between Lord Voldemort and our Ministry. But it has become bigger than that. It's involving everyone now.'

She nodded. 'I heard that he took over, but the Swiss wireless rarely talk about Britain. All it said was Dumbledore had been defeated.'

James leant forward, and immediately his whole persona changed. He was sombre now, and serious and hard. He nodded quickly. 'Yes, he has. And what is worse is that Voldemort has taken over. Taken over everything we know. Already he's taken the Muggleborns and put them somewhere, we don't know exactly where but he's testing them, seeing why they have powers. He refuses to believe that they_ are_ naturally magical.'

Remus made a hum of agreement, draining his glass of water. 'What's worse is Azkaban. All the prisoners have been released on the pretence that they were wrongly imprisoned. Over twenty witches and wizards who have spoken out have been killed, and those are just the ones we have heard about on secret wireless channels challenging Voldemort.'

'Yes, yes,' interrupted Juliette, nodding and with a genuine sad look on her face. 'I understand Remus, all the hardships you are going through back home. But this hasn't got anything to do with us.'

'Yet.' James said, and on her confused glance he smiled half-heartedly. 'It hasn't involved you yet. But it will, of course it will. Lord Voldemort's goal is to take over the whole of Europe, and if he can, the world. He wants to purify us all. He wants to take out the Muggleborns and the half-bloods. He wants to enslave the Muggles. He wants our blood to be pure and only pure.'

Juliette sighed, and rubbed her face wearily. She bit her lip and poured herself some water. 'I told you before Remus that we won't take any sides. I told you that some of my pack is leading in the direction of Voldemort and what he has promised us, what he _can_ promise us.'

James frowned deeply, shaking his head. 'And what is that?' his voice wasn't rude but a little hard and bitter, as though the thought of Voldemort gaining werewolves made him angry. It did.

'He has promised us on two occasions to take away the taboos surrounding werewolves. He said he would bring us back into society, with schools set up and hospitals. He promised those of us who wanted to fight that we would have a special spot in his army, regarded higher than even some of his followers—'

'Lies.' Peter's quiet and shy voice whispered. All three of them turned around to face him.

'What?' asked Juliette. 'How would you know?' she asked bitterly.

'Remember when I told you to call him Pettigrew? About how he wouldn't care and he doesn't matter?' James asked. When she nodded he smiled tightly. 'Well Juliette, meet the traitor, and Death Eater, Peter Pettigrew.'

She turned her head in surprise and for the first time took in his appearance. His small watery eyes that glanced around quickly, as if he was scared. She took in the mop of neglected and limp mousy blond hair. She took in the face that had once been round but now was thin. She took in the body that looked plump but wasn't at all.

And she believed everything James said. 'A Death Eater? I didn't know you were working with them Remus, considering you are bent on destroying them.'

Remus shook his head, a tight smile on his face. 'Peter's a traitor but he's been our best friend since we were eleven. Because he was with the Order and turned spy for Voldemort. But he's come back and he's trying to redeem himself. He wants to save our friend with us too.'

This time Peter's blue eyes met hers and she looked them deep, watching as he flinched ever so slightly. 'All right then. Speak, Peter. And speak the truth.'

Peter breathed in deeply and ran a shaky hand through his hair, biting his lip hard. 'It's hard to explain ... when you're not there, when you haven't experienced it yourself. B-but h-he ... he lies to everyone. All those promises he's declared, all those dreams he's given you, they will _never ever _happen. I can promise you that.

'The Dark Lord is more obsessed with magical creatures then he lets on. He's reached out to vampires and trolls and giants and Dementors. He wants to rule this world with some of the most powerful weapons. And he believes you are them.'

'I don't understand.' Juliette replied.

'He promises his own Death Eaters things that he never gives them. He promises them positions and wishes, money and fame, and most of the time they end up dead. It's how he gets people to follow him and his cause.'

Juliette shrugged. 'What if he's not like that to us?'

'There were a group of vampires from over a year ago, when I first started spying. There were nineteen of them, and eleven were willing to turn over to the Dark Lord. But eight were not. When all of them got to the meeting place with Voldemort, the Death Eaters locked them in a room on the Dark Lord's orders. They killed all the resilient and bitter vampires, leaving the eleven who were willing. But when they watched their comrades, their lovers and friends killed they fought back. Thirteen Death Eaters died and four more vampires died too.'

James turned to look at Peter, and it was almost like he respected the young man for revealing such a story. When they turned to see how Juliette had taken it, she paled.

'Th-there were maybe twenty vampires on the borders of Germany and Switzerland, but we noticed they vanished this time last year. We thought that maybe they had moved on...'

Peter shook his head. 'They kill those that they promise to help. You have a pack of over two dozen here, correct? If ten disagree. Or fifteen, he won't hesitate in removing them. He worries that they could overturn the rest of you and lose him twenty five strong, brave werewolves because you might discover what he has in store for you all.'

Juliette covered her mouth. For a long while she was silent, until Remus took her hand again and poured her some water. She sipped it tentatively and then shook her head. 'And we were considering accepting, we have two more months to think about it.'

'Can I tell you all the reasons you shouldn't pick his side. Forget for a second that we want you to pick us, just listen as to why you shouldn't pick _them_.' James said, leaning closer to her. 'Albus Dumbledore has never asked for anything from you, he doesn't want you to fight. He just wants you to recognise that should there be a war between both sides, and should Voldemort use magical creatures, you could help us.'

'But isn't that what Voldemort would want anyway? To use us in his war?' asked Juliette, still clinging tightly on Remus's hand.

'He wants to attack us with you; he wants to _start_ a war with you. All we'd ever want is defence, if in fact he fights with any magical creatures. And if he doesn't, then we won't ask for your help.'

'But then why do you want us? You haven't asked me for my allegiance. You've asked me for help, and I'm guessing that help starts soon. So what? What do you want from us?' her voice sounded hysterical; it was hysterical. Her eyes were very large and very frightened at the prospect of Voldemort killing her whole pack.

'We don't want to start a war Juliette.' Remus whispered in a soft voice. 'All we want is a few of you to come with us, January the twenty fourth, to a Death Eater's home, and rescue our friend.'

Juliette turned her bamboozled and shocked expression to Remus. 'You want to risk your lives, me and my pack's lives for a friend.'

Remus shook his head. 'My friend is more important than you think. He's the very reason what Lord Voldemort wants most in the world, is safe from him.'

'I'm  
>not understanding.' She says. 'Why has Voldemort got your friend?'<p>

'He's the secret keeper; he's keeping them someone safe somewhere. And Voldemort's torturing him, trying to get the secret out. We need to keep that secret safe.' James's voice sounded like he longed to be home and hold his son and make sure everything was okay.

'So you want to rescue your friend? You want to make sure that the secret never gets out.'

Remus turned around and looked at the werewolves, who could have had lives like him if they were given the opportunity. Who could have learned and gotten jobs and lived in real homes with their families. But with a jolt Remus realised these were their families.

Just like Sirius regarded the Marauders and Lily and Harry his family, these werewolves were brothers and sisters to one another. And he knew why Juliette was so protective, because these were here children.

'Sirius Black holds a secret that will one day develop into something that can defeat Lord Voldemort. None of us want him to stay; you know deep down Juliette you don't want anything that threatens your family around.'

Slowly she nodded. 'What's this plan then? How can I be sure that none of my family will die?'

'I'll answer your last question first.' Remus said, turning to Leila who smiled at him, and was in the process of massaging a younger boy's legs. He turned back to face Juliette. 'I came back from a battle almost two weeks ago. I killed around half a dozen men, and most of them men I hurt and injured were down to my werewolf instincts. They aren't prepared for fighting us, they didn't know what spells to use on me. They didn't even know about how I can grow my teeth and sharpen my fingers despite the fact that my lycanthropy is no secret amongst them.'

James nodded quickly. 'He annihilated them.'

'Now,' said Remus. 'Imagine four of us, five of us, even _six_. They won't know what has hit them. Throw in a few vampires and a troll, and we'll be unstoppable. We don't need to kill anyone Juliette. Just hold them off until we can get Sirius Black. I'll be there helping.' Remus added, as if it was a consolation. And when her face brightens they realised that to her, Remus being there was the safest thing.

She breathed in and out and finally nodded. 'I will spare six of them, the strongest ones and the wisest ones. But not until you tell me the full step-by-step plan will I agree to anything.'

It was James who talked, knowing the plan inside out. He told her of their plans to go and get a few vampires from the neutral coven. Their plan to befriend a troll. How they were going to use the werewolves and vampires and the troll to distract Lord Voldemort and the Death Eaters whilst they snuck to the attic and saved Sirius.

'That's going to be hard to follow through,' Juliette said. 'But ... but I'm sure we'll pull it off. As long as you keep those vampires away from us, especially so close to the full moon.'

James let out a shaky laugh and stood up, stretching after spending so long on the floor. 'You don't know how relieved I am to here you say those words. With Sirius comes the secret safe.' He sighed happily and runs a hand through his hair. 'I need to run around. My joints are locked. Remus, come chase me.'

Remus laughed and jumped up too. 'Okay, but only this once.'

James grinned and bolted off, followed by Remus and disappearing from the illumination of the fire. Many of the werewolves were laughing and tearing off to follow the pair of squealing and screaming boys. When Remus and James came back, barely distinguishable by the faint fire, they were wrestling and punching and kicking each other and all the werewolves around them.

'Peter,' said Juliette. He turned, a frightened look, to face her.

'Yes?' he asked her softly.

'The secret ... is it something involving James?' she asked, her voice short and curt and a little worried.

Peter frowned but after a moment he nodded. 'The secret's there to protect James's one year old son.'

'Oh,' she said. Then she fell back on the grass, her hair meshing with the grass as she looked up. 'I lost a son.'

Nothing else needed to be said. Peter knew she was there for them now, she would stay for them as long as she could and help them as best as she could.

Because she knew what it was like to lose a son. Something no parent should ever experience. And only then, looking up at the stars, with the memory of her son flickering in her mind, did she cry silently. And it was nice, crying in silence whilst Peter sat besides her, sipping his water.

Little did they both know, but flashing maybe twenty metres away was a doe. She was startlingly beautiful, and with the sleekest and shiniest body. It looked like millions of diamonds braided together, made translucent.

Her silver glow was so bright; Severus Snape's patronus wondered why no one could see her. But she clicked her jaws and bounded off, back to tell Snape that the three Marauders were safe.

And they were on their way to save Sirius.

* * *

><p><em>AN: This is my longest chapter, almost 13'000 words, yay! Did you like the memories? Please leave a review and tell me what you thought about Sirius from the past, was it good or bad? I put a lot of effort into the chapter and I'd really appreciate some reviews to help inspire me some more, and to make me a better writer because of course, I welcome and love constructive criticism. _

_I always update quicker when I've had more reviews, and because of the lack of reviews on the last chapter, it's taken me longer to update. I only started writing this chapter yesterday. But yeah, more reviews = quicker updates._

_This chapter was very hard to write, especially the memories. How did you like the werewolves by the way? I tried to show that they weren't as feral as Greyback's pack is, and I also tried to show how Peter's getting more courage and he's becoming more brave by telling Juliette the pack-leader of his story and experiences with Lord Voldemort etc._

_Anyway thanks for all those who have reviewed and favourited, I really do appreciate it! _

_Take care,_

_xo_


	27. Taste of Crimson

_Disclaimer; I don't own anything you recognise, just the plot, the OCs and some spells._

_A/N: Thank you SO much for the awesome reviews I've been getting, I've even showed them to some of my friends (ever the show off) because they're really kind and constructive and pleasant! Keep reviewing, a brief sentence of what you think of the vampires in this chapter will be more than enough ;D_

_And if you've alerted and/or favourited and haven't left a review, please do :)_

_Thanks and take care!_

* * *

><p><em>xoxo <em>

_27. Taste of Crimson_

Hogwarts was more brilliant to rule than it was to learn in. With Barty Crouch by his side (the man was sadistic, but amusing) as Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher and Emmett Avery (now the Deputy Headmaster) as the Muggle Studies teacher, Severus Snape felt invincible.

The DADA teacher had been thrilled at the possibility of leaving, complaining about how horrific it was teaching a bunch of kids whereas the Muggle Studies teacher was killed during The Cleanse Mission. Or rather, that was what Barty had named it.

Severus wasn't sorry one bit. 'What were you saying Barty?' Severus asked, his attention once again wandering.

'McGonagall, the old stubborn bat, asked me whether you'd approved my showing students under fifth year the Unforgiveable Curses and letting them test it on spiders. I said of course but she might come round and ask you.'

Avery laughed. 'Fussy old bitch, she used to make my life a misery. I still can't get over walking down these halls with the power to do whatever the fuck I want.'

Barty elbowed him and they started laughing hard together, and Severus almost smiled out of amusement. Things were changing. For example, the great hall had already been divided the week that Severus and Emmett and Barty came to Hogwarts. On one side, with the extravagant chairs and glorious food were the purebloods, and on the other side were the half-bloods or ones with not wholly clean blood.

Then there was the fact that over a hundred witches and wizards (some Aurors and some Death Eaters) came rushing into the school with Severus, asking all of the "Muggleborns" to line up and follow them.

Two teachers had been killed in the outburst including the Muggle Studies teacher, and the other had been some Wizarding Music teacher. And the Muggleborns had been told that they were going off to a lab, but that wasn't true.

Or not in that exact sense. Instead, they were being taken to an enormous camp up in Wales. And in that camp, they were going to be experimented on. Whilst this had been happening, Lucius Malfoy, the new Minister, was making everyone sign up for a Blood Purity Examination.

Was it weird that Severus felt sort of bad? He knew he didn't feel bad for them but for Lily, if this had happened to her ... he didn't know what he would have done.

'I do feel rather powerful cursing the kids I put in detention.' Barty said, snickering when a kid further down the corridor saw the three teachers (who had obtained some evil nicknames from all the students) and hurried in the other direction.

Severus smiled tightly. 'Well, I think I'm going to start up Hogsmeade visits again. Give the students something to show them we aren't that evil.'

'We need to favour the purebloods more too. Just the other day I saw three second year purebloods comforting a Ravenclaw half-blood in first year. It was disgusting and I ordered them away.' Emmett pretended to gag when he talked, and elbowed Barty who snickered.

'If only some of the Mudbloods stayed, I would have had so much fun _terrorising_ them,' sighed Barty, stuffing his hands in his pockets as they approached the double doors of the great hall.

Splitting the hall in half was an enormous red dotted line on the floor. On the left were two tables, with the standard wooden seating and plain food, especially plain since they were so accustomed to the brilliant food the house elves made.

What was worse was the way the house-elves were being treated. On the right, with their enormous table filled to the brim with delicious food and comfortable fabric chairs, were about two dozen house-elves, rushing around to get students the foods they wanted or drinks they needed refilled.

It was nauseating.

'Oi, house-elf,' barked Barty. Immediately, a small house-elf rushed up, barely three foot tall and with the Hogwarts crest printed on her front.

'Yes master Barty?' she squeaked, clearly frightened from the way her body was trembling.

'Go get me a drink,' he snapped. She hurried off, her tiny feet clicking on the ground. Coming back almost instantly with a goblet and some pumpkin juice inside. When Barty took it, he kicked out at her and she whined as she fell, sobbing dramatically.

Emmett sneered at the house-elf and followed after Barty, who ambled down the long red dotted line on the floor up to the staff table.

Severus looked down at the elf, both repulsed and pitying. But he continued on in a slow saunter, watching as many students shivered when they met his gaze, even the ones who had been there when he in his last few years at Hogwarts.

_xo _

In the camp, all the werewolves were outside; warming their hands over the new fire as the sun rose higher and the birds started singing louder. Remus, who was in deep conversation with the pack leader, touched Juliette's hand in a friendly manner.

'Thank you,' he said quietly whilst James and Peter were introducing themselves to the werewolves who would accompany them in three weeks.

'You're most welcome, if it weren't for you than I would have most probably joined Lord Voldemort's side. It's just ... his promises seemed most _real._' Her voice sounded sad.

'Remember this, if you can't remember anything. We are not like the Ministry. Bodewell's dead. If we win this war, the whole Ministry will change. I'll make sure of that.'

'Dumbledore has always been very different,' she said, nodding. 'He's always been so open and accepting. When young Ken was kicked out by his Mother, Dumbledore asked whether he would need any help in getting a job...'

'But Ken said no. He didn't feel like he would be accepted. I never thought I'd be accepted.' Remus remembered learning that the law in France was werewolves cannot go school, and it's against the law for them to have jobs.

'I admire you though. I admire the image you can show Britain and Europe, if you ever do become Minister—' Remus rolled his eyes when she said this but she grasped his hands, '_If _you become Minister then you must promise me you'll try. Try and change the way we werewolves are portrayed.'

It was like she dumped a load on his shoulders, so much was riding on him. It was like he was the only werewolf who could change the minds of all those prejudiced and cruel people.

'When this war is over, I can only dream of that.'

Just then James strolled up and said very sincerely, 'Thank you so much. Really, you'll never know how much I appreciate you doing this. Forever, I'll be in your debt.'

Her smile was a little tight and forced but she nodded. 'I lost my son, and if you feel the slightest part of how I felt you'd never wish it upon anyone, not even your greatest enemy.'

James was quiet for a moment and then he dragged her in for a long hug, a pretty intimate hug too considering how they'd only known each other for a day.

He seemed to be saying something consoling and comforting to her. And then she laughed a soft and sad laugh. James let go of her just as Peter jogged over to them, with a satisfied smile on his face.

'They're really very nice,' he said fondly, looking back at an adorable pair of twin teenage girls from France, glossy brownish skin and sharp green eyes.

'Yes well,' said Juliette, looking back at the girls who were now play fighting, 'we're not as bad as the French Ministry, the German Ministry and even the British Ministry make out. You know in Ethiopia, they find tame werewolves something of a mystery and a role model to all magical creatures.'

Remus grinned, flicking his hair handsomely from his face. 'I heard that too, in fact I heard Europe have the worst attitudes towards werewolves.'

Juliette gave Remus a knowing look. 'Yes well, hopefully when this war is over, that will all change.'

It took them forty five minutes, thanks to the help of three werewolves who helped them find their way out, to get to a train station. The same train station they had gotten here with.

'Where too?' asked Peter.

'I was thinking we could go get a meal,' said James, shivering. 'Something very hot, and very spicy.'

Remus shrugged. 'As long as we find a map. I forgot where the vampires live exactly in Romania, and I'm sure if we get a map with a bunch of cities I'll remember.'

James muttered something under his breath and was rewarding with an enormous punch in his back, he buckled and almost fell if it wasn't for Peter. Just as he was about to thank the boy, he remembered who he was and looked away disdainfully.

'Well isn't this going to be a challenge.'

_xo _

Sirius was sure he had been tortured a few dozen times now, more than a few dozen even. But this was different. He could still move his head and his neck when he was tortured; he could still feel his legs, no matter how distant from his body they felt.

But now he was being tortured for _hours_ and he would pass out during the torture. More than once he'd woken up being force fed potions to replenish his blood and give him more energy and cure any internal damage, like the lung of his that seemed to be failing.

And his heart. He didn't want to even begin listing what was wrong with his heart, but even Narcissa had said it was beating abnormally fast. Sirius felt the end coming closer, and he welcomed death with open arms.

He welcomed the Angel of Death and begged for the man, woman, _creature_ to take his soul and whisk him to hell. It had been maybe two or three days (the days were blurring into each other for Sirius now) since Sirius screamed that rumour (it wasn't really a rumour if it was true) about Lord Voldemort.

And he was still paying more grievously.

Well, that was what the bastard got for almost getting the secret out of Sirius. But if he thought torturing Sirius harder and deeper than he had done previously would get the secret out then he was sorely wrong. If anything, Sirius was even more determined to keep his vow.

But he could feel it, the sanity, the little bit of sanity he was gifted with at his birth (since it was rare for Blacks to be born with sanity) was slipping away. Surely there wasn't a cat and a bunch of other animals he was playing with. But they felt so _real_. As if he was genuinely holding them.

And they were so kind to him. One of them (it was a kitten Sirius named Amal) loved cuddling up and curling around his neck, licking the wounds on his chest and his face. It felt better.

But when Sirius tried to lift his arms to stroke the kitten back, he couldn't even _find_ his arms. Did that make sense? That he couldn't find his arms? That they seemed detached and cut off from his body? And his legs couldn't hold his body, only the chains wrapped around his arms kept him propped slightly.

His throat was roar with screams and he hadn't spoken a word since he called Voldemort a half-blood.

In a weird way Sirius was sort of ecstatic he was getting to Voldemort so much. It showed the man wasn't as invincible as he made out to be.

Then there was Albus Dumbledore, who had scared three Death Eaters so horribly they ran into the attic whilst Voldemort was torturing Sirius. They said that the man was emitting low levels of magic. And he looked ready to burst. When Voldemort asked why, they replied that Dumbledore was agonised over the screams from Sirius, and they were driving him into madness; sadness. Voldemort had stopped for a small period of time; one hour. And then he went back to destroying Sirius.

'You know Sirius,' Voldemort had whispered, caressing his cheek with the back of his hand. 'I don't think I'll kill you when I get the secret. I'll keep you the way you are now. I'll keep you as my prisoner.' And then, surprisingly, he left a kiss on Sirius's forehead, often like Fathers do to their sons.

_xo _

And James had thought Listik was beautiful, it was nothing compared to Holbav in Romania. It blew his breath away when they stepped onto freezing cold hills, coated with snow. The sun was setting and the sky was a dark reddish orange, like the colour of burning coals.

He let out a breath.

'Remind me Moony, when we get back, to take Lily here sometime.' His voice was very quiet, but he wasn't ashamed. The others seemed to be in a trance too.

'Of course,' Remus said after a deep gulp. They set off on foot to a small cottage they could see from where they had apparated too. They didn't know where the hell they could find the vampires, since they were so adept at hiding. But the sun was setting, and they'd be able to get up and roam around soon – looking for human blood.

Oh those were lies about vampires being able to live off animal blood. They could survive for a while, but sooner or later they just _had _to drink. They had too. It was like living off crackers for your whole life. No water, just crackers. Eventually you'd die ... right?

Well the vampires could survive a few weeks with a deer or a fox every few days but sooner or later they would have to hunt. And the human blood would last them weeks.

The cottage looked very pretty from the outside; like something Lily would beg to buy. It had wild flowers frozen to icicles outside it, and the grass looked white. The cottage was a deep grey, and the door looked like it had been carved by a man's hands. It was golden brown.

There was even a mat outside with a word James did not recognise. They grew very tentative, especially now the sun was totally down and the sky was a dreary blue. James bit his lip and pushed Remus in front of him, who glared but rapped firmly on the door.

There was no answer. They waited and waited. Remus rapped again, and finally, the door was thrown open. The man was quite a sight. He was very tall, definitely taller than Remus, the tallest of the Marauders. His hair was wild and white and grizzly, and his mouth was pulled into a frightening growl, with enormous blood-shot pale brown eyes. He appraised the men and roared, muttering fast in Romanian, or whatever language they spoke. Remus forgot everything because he had never been so intimidated by a Muggle. Were they even in Romania?

'Definitely a Muggle,' whispered James, sinking further behind Remus and letting out something that sounded half way between a whimper and a laugh. Then James muttered a spell under his breath, and Remus didn't need to guess which spell because the man before them stopped screaming and slumped into his own body. The man stopped brandishing impressive and gigantic knuckles, and his eyes stopped popping out of their sockets.

'_James!_' Remus hissed under his breath.

'Look, the fat bastard doesn't speak a word of English. And we want to know where those sneaky vampires are. So I'm going to get him to speak English.'

Remus was sceptical, especially since the enormous and towering man looked a lot like a baby right now. 'Are you sure that'll work? This is different from Veritiserum.' He asked worriedly.

'Of course, Sirius does it all the time to pick up foreign chicks and see whether or not they're willing to fuck him.' James explained.

Remus was starting to get really angry at how much his friends used dark magic and took away people's free will. What he loved about Aurors and the Order was that they didn't use dark tactics to try and brainwash people.

'You _can't_ keep doing this,' Remus said sadly. 'Go ahead, and hurry up.'

James closed his eyes and concentrated hard, and almost instantaneously the tall and large man started talking in a thick accent, but in English. 'Vaat vould you like?' he asked.

James willed the weak-minded man to jump up and down five times, just to see if it worked. It did, and it was almost comical when he hit his head on the beam because he was so tall.

'Okay, it works. What should I get him to answer?' asked James.

'Whether he knows about vampires first?' suggested Peter, anxiously scratching his forearm.

There was a tense and frightening pause, and then the man started talking again. 'De vampires? You vould like to know about de vampires? De blood drinkers. Ya, we know of de blood drinkers. From legends, dey is down in de valley, big caffs—'

'Caffs?'

'He means caves Prongs.'

'Oh, right, thanks Moons.'

'... big caffs dat protect dem from de sun,' finished the man.

Together, the three Marauders turned around to look at the incredible sight before their eyes. It looked to be maybe miles away, but they could just disapparate since it was blisteringly cold right now.

They could see the valley, a dip in the beautiful foundations of the large forest they were in. James swallowed and nodded.

'They're in the caves. The sun has set though; they'll be out hunting right now. Animals, humans most probably ... the regulations for vampires are loose here.'

Remus nodded too, turning back to the enormous man who looked as though he was dozing. His skin was flushed but dark, and there were purple shadows under his eyes. He let out a sharp breath. 'I didn't think it would work, if I'm honest.'

'Yeah well I wouldn't have tried it if I wasn't sure. And I was pretty sure.'

They looked back, at the moon, now a waning half moon. It illuminated the skies, but the stars were what stood out. With no pollution, and with no lights to steal the spotlight, they were simply dazzling. Remus's memories of five years of Astronomy rushed into his mind, and he smiled softly when he could name all of the constellations and the brighter stars he knew.

'Have I already mentioned how I'm going to take Lily here?' asked James in a raspy voice, his eyes, like Remus's, stuck on the beautiful night sky.

'Yes,' replied Peter just as breathlessly. 'D'you think if I take my mum here she'll forgive me?'

Remus shrugged. 'Worth a try. Oi James, lift the spell off of him. He looks ready to freeze.'

James lifted it, wiped the man's memories and threw him back in the house, the door slamming. He smiled sheepishly at Remus. 'Have I mentioned how good it feels to be out of that house?'

'Yes, nine times now.' Peter said, secretly enjoying the amused smile that flickered across James and Remus's faces.

'Well, I don't know about you guys but I think we should set up a tent now.' Remus said, dropping the backpack he was carrying on the ground. At their confused looks, he scoffed impatiently. 'Well we can't go into a fucking vampire lair in the middle of the night, that's basically advertising ourselves! "Ooh, vampire, come sink your bloodthirsty teeth into my luscious jugular, I'm foreign and currently a fugitive, so no one will miss me." We may as well commit suicide.' Remus finished, huffing a little in agitation, looking over to where the big man had pointed nervously.

It took James a few minutes to get off of the floor with all his laughing, especially when Remus's voice had taken the tone of a girl-vampire. He wiped tears of mirth from his eyes. 'Have I already mentioned how much I love you Moons?'

'Yes, three times already. Now, let's set up the tent. And I think I can catch us a rabbit, or whatever animal's lingering around.'

'Can I come?' asked James, grinning. 'I could really use a stretch, something to warm my body up.'

Remus turned a stern look to James. 'So you'll be able to guarantee that Worm—Peter,' he hastily corrected himself, 'will be able to set up the tent all alone? Seeing as he's never done it. You can't guarantee it? Ah, how unfortunate Prongs.'

James muttered a few profanities under his breath, and was generously rewarded with an enormous kick.

_xo _

Severus looked up when the door was thrown open and in sauntered Barty Crouch and Emmett Avery. He very sneakily concealed the diary he had been writing in. Well it wasn't a diary, more like a journal, a very manly and masculine journal ... ah, what was he kidding, it was a diary.

But he needed an outlet for all these emotions he was feeling. Like his longing for Lily, just one last touch, one last hug, one last look. The guilt he felt for betraying his Dark Lord, the guilt he felt for failing Dumbledore, even though Voldemort's triumph was planned.

The guilt he felt for all those Mudbloods, though he only felt it because of Lily Evans (she'd never be Lily Potter to him). But Severus felt like he hadn't betrayed her too much, he had for one been following those dumb, thundering Marauders to ensure they were safe using his patronus form.

Severus knew what was going on. They were going to save Black, get him back. And this time it would work, not only because Voldemort had grown cocky and complacent at his win against Dumbledore, but also because they were recruiting magical creatures. Something Voldemort had been trying to do for years now and barely managed to succeed in. Oh sure Voldemort had a pack of werewolves on his side, but only Greyback and his seven or eight minions. No vampires, the giants were weary and still reluctant, and then of course, there were no trolls.

The Dementors were with Voldemort, and they were his best "followers" so far, asides from the Death Eaters. But most of them were in Azkaban, where the locked up Aurors and Order members who hadn't managed to escape the rescue mission were as well as resilient Ministry workers and politicians and even a few teachers from Hogwarts. A few other Dementors were stationed around Hogwarts, maybe two dozen? A few in St Mungos and the rest distributed around Great Britain.

There were none at the Malfoy Manor; it would be almost easy to retrieve Black. Especially now the spineless, dumb fool Pettigrew was on their side. They could use his Dark Mark to get into the attic and out, because Lupin knew all about it. They would get Black, and so they would get the secret and keep it safe. Lily would be safe, she would survive.

Emmett nudged Barty sharply. 'What the _hell_ is in your bag?' he asked, raising his eyebrows with a shocked look. 'Something just nudged me—'

'Ooh!' Barty gushed, pulling his satchel off his shoulder. And then he started laughing hard, throwing his head back and barking. 'I forgot,' he said, taking rather roughly a ferret from the inside of his bag. It immediately tried to escape but was pinched rather hard. A small sound escaped the ferret's mouth.

'Is that...' asked Severus, raising an eyebrow and looking at the ferret.

'Yeah, one of my students decided he didn't want to come to his detention. So I turned him into a ferret instead. I was thinking maybe I should leave him like this till the weekend—'

'Restore him,' Severus said sternly, trying to restrain the smile on his face. And at Barty's expression he laughed hard. 'Restore him; he's been like this long enough. Lessons finished six hours ago for goodness sake.'

Barty frowned but whipped out his wand, waving it. The ferret turned into a boy, who was crying and hyperventilating. The boy looked like he was maybe twelve or thirteen, and had coppery skin, with beautiful rough short hair.

He turned to glare at Barty, who brandished his wand. 'Tell anyone who plans on bunking my detentions that they'll be turned into rats, ferrets, squirrels, maybe even fish. And remember this the next time you start badmouthing me and disobeying me. Got it Shelley?' he asked.

The boy nodded, wiping his eyes and his nose. Emmett grinned viciously at him, and faster than a snitch, the boy raced out of the room. They could hear his blundering, hard steps on the staircase.

Exchanging gleeful looks, both teachers roared with laughter, clutching their stomachs and wiping their eyes whilst Severus sat and watching them.

_How could he be friends with a bunch of seven year olds? So this was how Lupin probably felt all the time. Like he was surrounded by babies._

He was ashamed to be friends with them. They sat down before the fireplace on a nice leather sofa, and Severus joined them in his own armchair. They all looked into the flames, until Emmett spoke first.

'He's losing his mind,' he said. They all knew who he was talking about. Black. 'Bellatrix told me, she heard him talking to himself about rabbits and kittens and orange eyes. He's going to become crazy.'

Barty grinned. 'He was screaming for over an hour, I remember Narcissa running into the kitchen and grabbing a Medi-kit because she was worried he might die. He must have said something that really pissed off the Dark Lord.'

'Anything he says pisses everyone off. The damn blood traitor needs to think before he speaks.'

'Yes,' agreed Severus, 'but if he goes mad then the secret is gone with him. If he's mad he's as good as dead. You know that he'll forget everything, he'll even forget who he is.'

The only noise was the cackling of the fire as the others understood Severus's words. 'Well, you know how I recommended paralysing him, and it was turned down?'

'Yes,' Emmett and Severus said.

Barty grinned, turning from the flames to look at his two "friends". 'Well, it looks like I didn't have to paralyse him. He's lost feeling in his legs. It might just be temporary, but he hasn't stood up since our Dark Lord tortured him for hours a few days ago.'

Why wasn't Severus feeling good? Maybe because if Lily ever found out he could have done something, she would hate him even more. But he _was_ doing something. He really was! So maybe he wasn't running into the Malfoy Manor attic and sweeping in, taking Black and saving the foolish boy's life, but he was keeping an eye on the other three blundering Marauders, ready to "sweep" in for them if things got too much.

'Well, I guess that's good. He can't escape if his legs aren't working.' Severus said after a long pause, swallowing hard. He wanted more than anything for the arrogant pureblood to just _die._

'He's lasted longer than any of us anticipated, longer than I think our Lord anticipated. It's been over a month.' Emmett said. Then he laughed. 'How the fuck has that arrogant bastard lasted over a month, no one lasts so long.'

Barty grinned. 'Maybe he fancies Potter so much he's willing to ignore all the pain and...' he drifted off because he was laughing so hard, especially with Emmett's loud sniggers echoed. Severus laughed too, especially since to others it probably did look like Black fancied Potter, loved him even. Because did people really throw away anything that much for a bunch of friends?

But once again Snape remembered that for Black, they weren't friends, they were family.

'What about his son? He'll never meet his Father.'

'I saw a picture of him you know,' said Barty, 'only just yesterday. It was in the Daily Prophet from a few days actually, an article about whether or not Black's son will become like his Father. A load of bullshit actually. I think I have it in my bag...' He pulled out the Daily Prophet, and on pages six and seven was an article about the boy, a brief few words about his Mother, and a lot about his Father.

The boy was very beautiful, Severus couldn't deny that. He looked like a carbon copy of his Father. Hopefully he wouldn't turn out like his Father, arrogant and dangerous, haughty and cruel. Because to Severus, Black had been so cruel. Especially after the whole Whomping Willow incident.

But the boy didn't look at all like his Mother. It was a recycled picture, from the article weeks back, when the Death Eaters first became aware of the existence of the boy. The Dark Lord had never intended to let the boy and Taten survive if they were caught, though Lupin had gotten them away. But the Dark Lord's plans had been to show Black his son, get him to expose the Potters, and then kill all Taten, the boy and him.

It was a cruel plan, like Black's personality. But Lupin had gotten them away. He was in the picture too, next to Moody and Rose and some other woman. Lupin looked frightening in the picture, glaring at a cameraman in the corner of the picture who was snapping away despite the death glares he was receiving.

'What d'you think our Dark Lord will do anyway? To Black's son, if he ever does catch the blood traitor slut and her son?' asked Emmett, handing over the newspaper to Severus so he could look closer.

'If Sirius is still alive by then or with his mind at least, I think he'll use them to get the secret. If Sirius is dead, or mad, he'll just kill them. Or he might take the boy and have one of us raise him. That way the Black family name doesn't die out, and he'll have a very talented Death Eater. Because you can't deny,' though Severus wanted to deny, 'that Black is a powerful wizard.'

Emmett gruffly agreed. 'Unfortunately. He'll probably give the baby to Bellatrix. She's a Black and she's barking mad, she'll raise the baby right ... ooh, sorry Crouch, did I offend you?'

Barty threw his head back and laughed loudly, looking back at Emmett with a slightly annoyed and yet amused glare. 'Shut up Avery.'

'I'm surprised Lestrange hasn't murdered you yet. But then again, you're Bellatrix's little ... thing on the side. Barely important to her at all.'

Barty's face wasn't so playful anymore, especially when he cuffed Emmett very hard around the head, and glowered. 'I'm not her _little bit on the side_ you fool. She's just waiting to get all of Lestrange's money, and then we'll be together – what?' he asked Severus.

'Nothing, just ... declarations of love make me nauseous.'

Barty barked a laugh. 'Don't worry ol' Snape. You'll find someone as serpentine and evil as you. Anyway, I'm not going to be here tomorrow morning, so cover my lessons your Highness slash Headmaster.'

Severus looked up when Barty conjured a bottle of whiskey and opened it, pouring them all generous measures. 'Where will you be?'

'The Malfoy Manor, where else? I want to see if it's true. If Black's lost the use of his legs. I might even have to ... test Bella's hypothesis for myself.' There was an evil glint in his eyes, and when the others laughed, the evil glint shone brighter.

_xo _

Had James already mentioned how awed he was? The sun was rising, and it must have been eight in the morning. The skies looked absolutely beautiful, and he took a few pictures for Lily. She would love to come here. She was a very poetic person, in the sense that she thoughts kisses under the stars, and flowers in the morning were about the most romantic thing. More romantic than the actual sex itself. He couldn't get her out of his mind, and even though the others were asleep, he was still awake, because he couldn't get to sleep. All he could think about was his family. His nightmare had been about Harry, a dead Harry. And Lily, a kidnapped Lily. He woke up with her name on his lips, and he stayed up until the trembling stopped. This was still the right decision, at least for him and Sirius.

But was it right? To abandon his family like that? To leave them alone, and what about little Sirius James? Was he alright, out of everyone, he responded best to James, yes, even before his own Mother. But Lily would take good care of him.

After a few hours, when the others were awake and they drank their water and packed everything, did they start apparating. Only about a hundred metres each time, sometimes ending up fifty metres behind or ahead, but the trees were so thin and tall, and it was so quiet, they could all see and hear each other. It was nice and comforting.

After twenty minutes of non-stop apparition, James told them to wait a second, ducking behind a tree and taking a well earned piss. When he looked up at the others, Peter looked bored, and Remus, Remus looked as though he smelt something wholly unpleasant.

James hurried towards him, grabbing his friend by his lapels. 'Moony?'

'I can smell them Prongs, we're not far,' he said shortly, wiping his red nose more then once.

James nodded. 'Okay, we're okay. Remember, they're neutral. They won't kill us, unless they want to be murdered themselves.'

They decided to apparate as far as they could see, until the small cottage they had been hanging around yesterday was nothing but a grey speck. They were in the valley now, with its tall trees and tiny frozen over lakes and ponds. Then they saw it, maybe half a mile ahead, a bunch of caves, ominous and dark and large.

The largest one, coincidentally the one in the middle, was where they aimed to go. They walked the rest, to shake off the daunting feeling creeping up over them. Remus actually felt his stomach quiver. He wished he hadn't drunk all of his water, but he just looked ahead resolutely.

When they were maybe a hundred metres from the caves, with many trees shielding them mostly from view, Remus gagged. 'Oh dear God the smell...' he said, stopping and clapping a hand around his nose, turning and resting his forehead on a tree trunk, breathing in deeply. James gave him the rest of his water, and when Remus felt better, they continued on.

'What if they want something in return? What if they want to make a deal, because I remember the others always commenting on how never to make deals with vampires.' Peter's voice was quiet and hesitant, but so much stronger than it ever had been.

'We'll listen to their deal,' James said, forgetting momentarily who he was talking too. 'We'll listen to what they have to say.'

Peter swallowed and nodded. 'Okay.'

When they approached the cave, it looked deserted. They exchanged confused looks, vampires never left their homes unguarded, despite the fact it was morning, but when they looked back, resting near the mouth with a lazy expression was a man and a woman.

The woman was pale, so pale it was unattractive. But she herself was very attractive. Vampires were after all given extremely good looks so they could mesmerise their victims to drink their blood. Apart from her stark white skin and the most beautiful black eyes Remus had ever seen, she had a worrisome grin on her face, her teeth pulled back to reveal her inch long fangs.

Besides her was the man, brown skin that still turned out looking pale. He had black eyes too, just as beautiful as the woman's, and his fangs were only peeping slightly through his astonished smile. They both looked quite young, in their twenties or thirties? The man laughed and sniffed dramatically.

'Oh, I haven't smelt a werewolf in such a long time. You smell ... most appetising.'

Remus made a show of sniffing too, laughing in the same sarcastic manner as the man. 'I can't say the same thing for your smell, though I could lie?'

The woman clapped her hands and laughed. 'Please do.'

'You smell most captivating,' Remus said with a fake smile, stepping closer and in front of his friends. 'And as interesting as this chat has been, I want to talk to your coven leader ... please.' He added, deciding that they would be more helpful if he was polite. The woman turned to the other man.

'You're looking at him,' he said, opening his hands, with dried blood in between his fingernails.

Remus had expected something similar to this. 'May we come in?' he asked, more polite than before. The man and the woman exchanged a long, knowing look before the coven leader nodded. He stood up, much taller than Remus had anticipated.

The cave looked much different than any of them initially thought. It turned out to be a large and old manor, simply disguised as a cave. The legends about coffins actually turned out to be true, though maybe it was a joke, because the woman walked up to one, knocked hard and sharp, and it swung open. Inside was an old man, very old. Again, he had horribly pale skin, like snow, and a withered but handsome face.

Come to think of it, he was young. Maybe in his mid thirties, but he was _old._ Did that make sense? He looked hundreds of years old.

The man took one sniff and turned to the coven leader. 'Two wizards, one werewolf, Moses,' he said. 'What do they want?' he asked, as though they weren't even in the room.

'That's what I plan on finding out.'

The old man turned and reached out his hand. Remus shook it. 'I haven't smelt a werewolf in _so_ long. I forgot how good you smell.'

And without so much as a warning, he threw Remus into the wall and positioned himself so his mouth and touching Remus's long, tanned neck and licking it. James had his wand out but was being restrained by Peter, his shouts echoing.

'One taste, one taste could drive me _mad_. You have the sweetest blood of all.'

Remus swallowed, his jugular bulging and causing the old vampire to scream with want. 'Y-you could have a taste, if you listen to what we have to say.'

The man withdrew, releasing Remus who wiped the saliva off of his neck. 'You'll let me taste you—'

'What the hell Remus! What are you doing?' James was now free, and his wand was out and pointed, his face contorted with anger and fright.

'James stop kidding yourself, they weren't really going to listen. But if I let him taste my blood, they will. They might even come with us in a few weeks if I let them taste me.'

James shook his head, his body shaking with uncontained anger. 'No, no fucking way Remus—'

'It's for Sirius.' Remus said slowly, looking in the face of the coven leader, who had an expression of amusement.

'Come then, werewolf and wizards, come and tell us what you want. I'll see if it's worth my time.'

The kitchen had a fridge, but it was stocked with blood bags stolen from hospitals. There were also cups of blood, animal blood and human blood alike. But there was also normal food inside, just things like ice cream and cans of beer.

'I didn't know you could eat.' Peter commented when they handed him some beer.

'Oh we can, but we don't like too. No, that's for the Muggles we bring back.' And as if to make a point, Moses flashed his teeth with a daring smile. Peter gulped.

'And you don't get in trouble?' asked James, gulping his beer hungrily. Moses shook his head. The door opened and in came maybe eight more vampires. They were standing inside the enormous kitchen, and it didn't even seem cluttered. So there were eleven vampires? They could rip the Marauders to shreds and none of them would be able to do anything.

'Sorry, I hope you don't mind werewolf, I invited the others to witness what you and your two wizard friends want. They're so helpful in aiding me make up my mind when I'm _torn_ between two choices.'

Remus smiled a tight smile. 'Oh no that's fine. Now, d'you want me to start off from the beginning, or ask you right out what we want?'

'Right out.' Moses replied, sipping the drink he had in his clear glass, the crimson drink.

James leaned forward, set down his beer and looked Moses in the face. 'To put it blunt, we need your help. Don't act like you haven't been itching at a chance to kill the Death Eaters who murdered some of the vampires up in the Switzerland coven.'

Moses paused, setting down his glass. He looked both sad and angry at the reminder. 'The population of vampires is waning. And the murder of those few, even if it was only a dozen, to us is maybe two or three percent of our world-wide population.'

'And I'm sorry, so very sorry, if Albus Dumbledore had known; he would have sent us to help you. And you know he would have.' James said, in an earnest and comforting voice. 'And I know it was a year ago, but we need your help, and in turn we'll help make sure those vampires never died in vain.'

Moses drained his glass and set it down, where a vampire came by, plucked the glass and licked the blood from the sides. James closed his mouth to stop from gagging.

'So what you say, wizard, is that you need help in a mission. And you want us to come? You want our help?'

'Yes, basically.' Remus replied. 'What we need is something from the Malfoy Manor, I'm sure you've heard about how he is the new Minister in the Britain. Well he's a Death Eater, one of the ones who aided in murdering your vampire friends. They've got something of ours, _someone_ of ours. And we want him back—'

'Sirius Black.'

Remus looked at the woman who spoke, the one who had been outside. She came out until she was inches from Remus's face, and then she sniffed before giggling. 'Oh Professor Murphy, you were right. He smells so _good._'

'Yes, Sirius Black,' his voice was shaky, especially when her beautiful face was right next to his. She pouted and frowned.

'My sister was killed in that attack, she was a vampire too but she wanted to take the Switzerland coven instead of this one. I've wanted to avenge her ever since, and this seems the perfect opportunity to do it. What if you let me taste your blood, and I swear to,' her face took a look of utmost concentration, and even a little pain, 'G-God,' she managed to choke, 'if I swear on Him, will you let me taste it? Will you let me taste your crimson blood?'

Remus looked at her, at the startling white fangs already descending from her gums. He shivered a little but tilted his head.

'Wait Emily, wait a second. You don't know what you're agreeing too.'

She laughed and shook her head, falling to her knees in front of Remus and running her hands through his hair. 'I don't care Moses, I just want a taste, I'll do anything for a taste of werewolf blood, for a chance to kill those that killed my sister.'

'_Emily!_ Just wait for a moment, make sure you know what you're getting yourself into.' His voice sounded like Sirius whenever he ordered a house-elf, and with an angry sigh, she released her hold on Remus.

'Okay. But I want to ask the questions ... okay, werewolf, say that we agree, what d'you want us to do?' she asked.

'We've already got the allegiance of half a dozen werewolves—' at this there were sighs of happiness and greed and excitement, some were squealing with delight at the prospect of more vampires. 'Yes, half a dozen werewolves, and we want to recruit a troll. Preferably a mountain troll.'

'There's a troll only ten or twenty miles from here. It's not a mountain troll but it's dumber and bigger. Would that suit you?'

James turned to look at Remus, and they nodded at the same time. 'Okay, so if we have you and the troll and the werewolves, we plan, on the day before the full moon—' someone commented on how werewolves smell best near a full moon – 'we're going to ambush the Malfoy Manor. Inside is our friend Sirius Black. You've probably heard about him on the WWN. He's the secret keeper for James,' many of the vampires turned to look at James, admiring him or sizing him up, 'and we need to keep the secret safe. We don't want to engage you in a fight, unless you are willing. But we need a distraction whilst Peter and James go and get Sirius. Then we'll get him away, and I'll remain behind to make sure you guys are safe.'

Moses laughed. 'Werewolf, if anything we are the ones who would need to protect you. We can handle this on our own. We don't need you to risk your life making sure we survive. With the werewolves and the troll, we'll obliterate the Death Eaters.'

Emily looked up excitedly, hushing the vampires. 'So you want to do it? You'll let us join them on their mission?' she asked, his voice reaching a squeal.

Moses, after much hesitation, nodded. 'But you need to stay safe for me Emily.'

She smiled and touched his hand. 'Of course. How many of us would you like?' she asked James.

Baring in mind that Juliette had requested they have fewer vampires than wolves, he shrugged. 'About five of you.'

Immediately the whole kitchen was in uproar. Moses had to get up and roar for them to settle down, but there were still small arguments about who could go and who could not. 'SILENCE!' he bellowed once more, and after a minute, the room was quiet save the breathing from the three wizards.

'Five? I can spare five for you. Five of the strongest and the bravest?' he asked. When the three Marauders nodded he broke into a smile and turned to face his vampires. 'Be quiet, little ones, we can decide later. Professor Murphy, you could help me choose the best later. Now, wizard, when is this set? The next full moon?'

'Yes, just the day before. The twenty fourth. We'll arrange a meeting place later on when we have the troll and our plans are firmly set.'

Moses nodded and just as the room was about to decimate, Emily screeched. 'I thought you promised me a taste of your blood, werewolf?' she said, turning her pout to Remus. A very attractive pout, mind you. He could see James whip out his wand just in case she grew too frantic, mouthing 'No!' to Remus over and over.

He ignored James and gulped. Remus unbuttoned his shirt, exposing his deliciously tanned neck for Emily. She grinned up at all the envious vampires and licked her lips seductively. 'Don't worry little werewolf, I won't ruin your pretty neck,' Emily said softly in his ear.

She pecked his cheek and then nestled her face in his neck, almost like she was hugging him. Before he could even expect it, her teeth sank deeply into his neck. And as she moaned in pleasure, Remus Lupin groaned out in pain.

It felt so _good._ And it felt so _bad._

* * *

><p><em>AN: Thanks for reading; I hope you liked it :) Sorry for any mistakes, I had to write most of this chapter here on Doc Manager because Word decided not to work. Hope you enjoyed it & please leave a review._

_Thanks, take care,_

_xo_


	28. The Troll

_Disclaimer; I only own the plot, the OCs and some spells - thanks!_

_The memories were an idea from a faithful and kind reviewer; Avi W. Lovegood. Thanks!_

* * *

><p><em>xoxo <em>

_28. The Troll_

Remus was still staggering, even when they were in the tent twenty five miles away from the vampires. He couldn't stand properly, and he was moaning in pain, because though he had felt pain when they drank his blood there was a weird sort of pleasure following it. But now, _now,_ all he could feel was the blinding ache, the staggering pain.

James was hurrying around, looking everywhere for the Blood Replenishing Potion, but he couldn't find it, though he did find a packet of condoms and some crushed cigarettes. In fact, Peter was the one who found it behind the sofa cushion, but James snatched it from him and hurried to the slumped Remus on the bed.

'You're so stupid,' he hissed furiously, opening Remus's mouth and pouring the potion down his throat, which was covered in dried blood but the puncture wounds had been healed. 'You're ... you're so _stupid_ Remus, why would you—'

'It felt good,' Remus heaved, grinning deliriously at them, his eyes glittering behind the hooded lashes. 'You should have ... you should ... you...' but a snore resonated through the room. He had passed out. James growled impatiently, forcing open Remus's mouth and pouring the rest of the potion down his throat.

'There's something wrong with him,' sighed James, wiping his brow tiredly as he leant against the sink. 'You'd think that vampire Emily would keep him all to herself, but she actually _shared _him.'

It was true. Emily had drunk some of Remus's blood, and she had made such filthy noises, like it was the best thing she'd ever experienced. Then she told Professor Murphy to come over and try it, and the noises he made were just as filthy. And before the Marauders knew it, the vampires were queuing up to each have just a small taste. But there definition of small was very different from James's.

Remus had passed out about three or four times, but the vampires would order James or Peter to revive him, and then they'd carry on when he was awake.

'_We're – definitely – going – to – come!' Emily had panted, licking her fingers and her lips and moaning loudly. 'You ... won't – regret ... this,' she breathed, kissing Remus softly on his nose and licking some blood from his chin._

'Come on,' James said, shivering. 'Let's set up the Protective Spells. We've got to go get the troll tomorrow as well.'

When Remus woke up his whole body was sore, but they were on their hunt for the troll and a sore body was not going to stop him from finishing their quest. It wasn't far from where they had been camping just the night before, but it took much wandering around the vast forest one of the vampires had told them about before they saw any tracks of an animal larger than a bear. It looked like skid marks, and the leaves and mud were meshed together, forming some sort of brownish gloop. It didn't smell all that nice too.

'You will know when you see it...' the vampire had said when she explained about the troll.

And they did. It was obviously a magical forest because they actually saw a salamander thundering around the forest floor and shooting towards them, its body glistening with flames that stood out so much more in the winter air.

'Okay Pettigrew, this is where you turn into a rat and try sniffing out the troll.'

Peter was reluctant, but he wasn't in the mood for arguing with James, nor did he want to go back into the man's bad books. Well, he was already in James's bad book but he didn't want to be transferred into the bad, _bad _book. Not even Snape was in that book.

And so Peter shrunk, dropping the rucksack on the floor and collapsing inwards, until he was maybe the size of a bludger. Then the fat, grey-brown rat shot off, barely making a noise on the frozen leaves coating the forest floor.

'You need to give him a rest...' Remus sighed, touching his neck for the thousandth time that day just to reassure himself it was still connected to the rest of his body.

James frowned, but for the first time didn't leap into a defensive argument. 'I ... I think so too.'

Remus made a noise of surprise and turned to face his friend, moving a little stiffly. 'Did I just hear you right?'

The bespectacled Marauder laughed. 'Yes, yes you did Moony. I feel bad. And if I feel bad, it means I'm doing something wrong, right?'

'We've let him stew long enough ... he deserves to stew but he's our friend.'

James shook his head. 'No, no, he _was_ our friend. Right now he's dangerously balanced between a friend and an enemy. He needs to redeem himself.'

Remus shook his head. 'And how...' but he was distracted by the satisfied and self-righteous smile on James's face. Remus frowned. 'What have you done?' he asked. Then James grinned and looked pointedly at the rucksack Peter had dropped during his transformation.

Remus looked up and then back down. 'James, what did you do?'

His friend turned to face him and smirked, hazel eyes glittering behind the thick lenses. 'Well, regardless of if the troll is a mountain troll or not, everyone knows _all _trolls love rats.'

'No,' Remus whispered, looking down at the path their friend had taken. 'No.' He shook his head in disbelief, and as if on cue, there was a tempestuous and ravaging roar echoing from near them.

'Peter!' Remus cried.

_xo _

Amal giggled, flicking her tail and tickling Sirius's nose with it. He giggled too but then felt a burst of pain explode in his mind.

'Oh stop,' breathed the rabbit, who Sirius had named Aubrey. Sirius remembered when Uncle Alphard used to have a pet snake called Aubrey. Aubrey had bitten Sirius more than once and always wore an expression of distaste when he was near.

Sirius grunted, crying out and begging for the pain to stop. And then Amal started licking him again, whispering soothing words, and Aubrey winked a few times too to cheer Sirius up. It was working but barely.

'Don't worry, the pain will stop. They'll stop hurting you.' Amal declared, nestled in his neck. Aubrey nodded vehemently, jumping onto Sirius too and cuddling up on the other side. Tiredly, Sirius opened his large grey eyes and looked around the empty room. The only person was Voldemort. The room was empty. No animals, no Cuddlies. No one but Voldemort.

And the Dark Lord was smiling. One of those smiles Sirius had grown used too. With red eyes and bloodlust etched on his pale, fraught face. Sirius gasped, licking his lips and groaning in pain.

'You were talking to yourself again,' said Voldemort, stepping closer to Sirius. 'You're losing your _mind _... Severus recommended using potions to make you feel pain, and you're responding most brilliantly, just in case you're wondering why I made you drink that potion.'

Sirius started gasping for breath, the words on his tongue fighting to stay back – he had lost his courage. He whimpered again when a jolt flickered through his body. Voldemort's face split into a triumphant grin.

'Tell me ... tell me Sirius, how are you so willing to give up everything, when in return you are receiving nothing? Why ... why are you so willing to risk your _sanity _for a family who have already forgotten you?'

He shook his head and opened his mouth, but no words came out. At this, Voldemort let out another tinkering laugh. 'And the lion has lost his _roar._'

_I'm here Sirius, I'm right here. I'm your courage and I'm right here._

'J-just...' he panted after moments of silence, his body shivering with the spasms of pain rippling through his battered body, 's-s-stop ... lying.'

Voldemort was lying, of course he was lying. The Marauders, the Potters, they were always there for him. They would never forget him, not in a million years.

'Why Sirius? Why are you so prepared to risk all for them?' Voldemort was so close to Sirius now.

'Marauders,' he whispered, after a long and quiet moment. They could hear the wind swishing outside and Sirius shivered. _His whole body hurt, it hurt him to breathe._ He sucked in a breath that did more harm then good. 'M-my Marauders...'

And when his head was tipped back and the potion was tipped down his throat, this time a green one, he thought so hard of what he was beginning to forget; what he was beginning to lose. The reason he was here, the reason he was fighting for the lives of his friends.

Why he was doing so much for James Potter. Why he was doing so much for the _Marauders._

_x_

His bike had crashed, and he knew it was stupid to be driving whilst crying. But luckily the Cushioning Charm on the bike made sure that both it and Sirius survived, though not exactly in tact. Sirius's arm was bent at a weird angle and his face was covered in mud. The bike was just as filthy and now had long scratches on its glossy black skin.

And when he heard voices, loud and urgent and frightened, Sirius looked up from the ground, his face still stained with tears and mud, and he strained his eyes to see who it was.

'Pads?' James Potter whispered, barging his Mother out of the way and sinking down to his knees. 'Pads, Pads what's wrong?'

Sirius felt something soft and thin slide under him, and he was lifted into air, maybe a metre above the ground. He could see Aunt Dory and Uncle Chuck and James. They were all fraught with fright. 'Sirius?' Aunt Dory asked, her wand trained on the stretcher, slowly guiding Sirius back into the house, 'what happened darling?' Her voice was pleading and urgent.

Sirius wheezed, his chest beating like a drum. He could barely breathe, and his head still hurt, and his mind was flickering from the scene now to the scene just an hour ago with his family. His _old _family.

'Ran ... away ...' he panted, feeling the delicate squeeze of the hand holding his, was it Dorea. 'They didn't – want ... me,' he whispered, 'they didn't ... _care_.' And before he knew it he was sobbing in pain and hurt, his body was in pain and he was hurting.

Regulus's hateful glare, his Father's triumphant sneer and his Mother's bamboozled frown – the parting gifts from his family.

'They don't ... want me,' breathed Sirius, welcomed with cool air hitting his face. It was so hot, so blisteringly hot outside in the summer air but inside the house was air conditioned. It was like a cup of water after two days in a desert.

He heard a growl of annoyance from James. 'We want you Pads,' his friend whispered in his ear as the stretcher paused in midair; Dorea had dashed off to get a Medi-kit and Charlus was off to send a letter to someone. Sirius couldn't lift his head up, but he could see some of the pictures perched on the mantle and the quaffle charmed to the wall; this was his home. This place was more of a home than Grimmauld Place could ever be.

Reluctantly, he turned to face James, his best friend James, who was now holding his hand tight like a lifeline. He didn't want his friend to see him crying, he didn't want to look weak. But he needed comfort as much as he needed oxygen right now. 'We want you. I want you Paddy,' James said, cuffing Sirius's head. 'Now stop crying, you stupid poof, stop crying ...'

But Sirius couldn't stop, not until all his injuries (both from the fall and the fight with his Father) were healed and his face and hands were clean. But even then they seeped out gently from the corners of his eyes, and clumped his long thick lashes together.

'The bike...' croaked Sirius.

Aunt Dory shook his head, kissing his forehead very lightly. 'Shush darling, the bike is fine. Chuck and James were with it moments ago. Now, d'you want anything dear, are you hungry—'

'James,' breathed Sirius, closing his eyes tiredly. 'Get James.'

The footsteps were quick and fast and before Sirius knew it a head was hovering over his, with a halo of black hair and crooked glasses.

'I'm not a poof Potter...' Sirius yawned hard despite himself, and his eyes were still flowing with tears.

'You know you're a Potter too now.'

Sirius opened his eyes, but they were still semi-closed. 'What?'

'You're not going back there. This is your home now. You're a Potter. You're my official brother now. Remember when I gave you that ring? I said you could pawn it when times got too much ... you're a Potter now. Paddy the poofing Potter.'

And before Sirius fell into a deep sleep, he laughed as hard as he could given the fact that his whole body ached from the Cruciatus Curse his Father had cast on him.

'Has a nice _ring_ too it...'

_ox _

'Shush,' hissed James, his elbow for maybe the third time, digging into Sirius's hip. Peter was a rat balancing on James's bony shoulder and they were trying to sneak into the Hospital Wing. But only mere moments ago had they watched as Filch waltzed down the corridor in the direction of his office with his arms up in the gesture of dancing whilst humming under his breath.

James was about to scold Sirius again for the sharp giggle that slipped out his mouth but when he turned a fraction and saw the ecstatic expression still etched in his friend's face, he couldn't stay annoyed for too long. Sirius threw the cloak off stiffly (there was something wrong with his shoulder) when they were at the Hospital Wing door, and he peered through the rather large keyhole. He could see most of the room, and it looked empty. Slowly, he eased the door open.

It was a Saturday and very early in the morning, because Filch was still roaming around and all the students and teachers were asleep. It had been mere hours since they snuck into the Shrieking Shack for Moony.

To say it had been painful was an understatement. James had managed to heal all of their cuts and Sirius was very adept at fading bruises, but the broken bones in James's foot and the odd angle of Peter's arm and the pain in Sirius's shoulder ... well they weren't _that _good at healing injuries.

The sun was streaming through the bare windows, and only two beds were accompanied with a third year Ravenclaw and a first year Gryffindor.

On their very tiptoes did they shuffle quietly to the door furthest from them. James pushed open the door and peered in to the large, private room. Remus looked very peaceful asleep on his big bed. The sun made his hair golden and his tanned skin was pale, sickly pale. But he didn't look on the verge of death like he so often did. He was smiling softly even in his dreams.

There was a bandage on his bare arm, and a large plaster on his pale tanned chest. But even though he was injured, Remus looked better than he usually did. As customary since they found out about Remus, there were three chairs waiting patiently for them. Sirius sat down first, wincing at the staggeringly strong sting in his arm.

He groaned, and it was that groan that had Remus stirring. He tossed and turned for a minute or two before opening his eyes slowly; tiredly. He looked at Sirius, then James, and then the newly-reinstated Peter.

'Hey,' Sirius said, musing Remus's hair and tossing back his head with a laugh when he was bitten on the hand. 'Sorry Moony.'

'How d'you feel?' asked James patiently and in a very smooth and soft voice. Remus frowned and looked down at his body, his barely bandaged body. Then he looked up suspiciously, eyes narrowing.

'What did you ... what ...' and he pieced it together. The flickering memories of animals ... scents ... blood. He remembered play fighting with a large and soft shaggy dog; the gentle nudges and shoves from enormous strong antlers, juggling with a fat rat.

He remembered more then he ever did of the memories of the full moon.

'What did you guys _do?_' he whispered, eyes as wide as saucepans.

'Moony ...' James said in a voice just as quiet.

'We've saved you.' Sirius finished, clutching Remus's hand and looking deep into the golden eyes. 'You'll never be alone again, on the Marauder's Oath. We said we'd be here for you, and now we can be.'

_ox _

James struggled to keep Sirius back from lunging at Snape. It was a few weeks after Alphard's funeral and the Marauders were back together, forever. Or as long as forever would last them. And if possible, Snape had grown even angrier now that they were together again.

And so he had started to throw around discriminative, cruel words at Remus after Potions. Sirius was ready to throw himself at Snape if not for the restraining arms of James. The corridor was empty and Snape was propped against a wall with a triumphant and arrogant sneer on his face.

'You take that back you coward!' spat Sirius, his body begging to jump on Snape's and rip that sneer off his face.

'You are _all_ back together again, all the best of friends once more ... until Black betrays you all again. What will it be this time? Not another half-breed pretending to be a human—'

'NO SIRIUS!'

Sirius had managed to wriggle out of James's arms and was half way between pouncing when Remus grabbed him roughly, pinning him against the wall.

'No, no stop it Sirius, stop,' mumbled Remus. 'Ignore him. If I can, you can. He isn't worth getting in trouble.'

Sirius bared his teeth, his wand arm empty and his pocket too full. He needed to hex Snape just once, just a curse of a stunning charm. Anything. 'Why do you stand this? Why do you let him say those things?'

James had some how managed to chase off Snape, and it was just them in the corridor now.

Remus looked calm and collected; too calm and too collected. 'Because ... because I have to start getting used to it, don't I?'

_ox _

Sirius smiled at James. 'I know, the best birthday ever ...' He said softly to his friend, his smile splitting into a grin. 'It's been my favourite so far.'

The smile couldn't be wiped off his face for a million galleons. It was his fifteenth birthday, and though he was supposed to have gone home, stubbornly he had refused. Since when did Sirius do as he was told? Never.

James grinned, victorious. 'I'm glad mate.' Then James started fiddling around, tugging at something wrapped around his neck. He managed to pull off a chain with a ring. He took the golden ring off the chain and held it out in his palm.

'What? You already got me something...' Sirius began to protest but when James shook his head he quietened down.

'Shhh. I _want_ to give you this Paddy, you know, in case your parents do send you to Durmstrang and we can't be friends anymore—'

'That'll never happen! We'll be friends forever—'

'Because,' interrupted James with a fond smile on his face. 'Well I don't know ... I just wanted you to know that you're the best mate I've ever had and I want you to have something from me, that's really from me. Think of it as a Christmas present if you must...'

James roughly pushed the ring into Sirius's chest who started spluttering and choking dramatically. Then he put it on, after angrily tugging his hair away, and dropping the sweets he was holding in his hands. They both peered down at the golden ring on Sirius's hand. It was very beautiful on his pale skin.

'See, a perfect fit. Besides, if your parents throw you out, you'll always be able to pawn the ring and get a few hundred galleons or so.'

Sirius laughed. 'No, I'd come to live with you! So you're stuck with me Potter!' He said teasingly, elbowing James.

'Sirius Potter? Hmm... It has a nice ring to it,' James said, grinning. He punched the stunned fifteen year old. Sirius looked up, eyes shining with happiness.

No one had seen this sappy side to him. And he was almost honoured to share it with James and also slightly embarrassed. Who knew they were such poofing pansies? 'I love the sound of Sirius Potter.' Sirius replied after a moment.

_o _

'My friends, they're my best friends, my friends, my Marauders ...' gasped Sirius, his throat burning. He looked at Voldemort, looked him in the eye and whispered those two words over and over. Was it worth the risk? Each day was a day closer to the possibility of revealing the Potters, revealing where they were.

Should he commit suicide? Should he do something that warranted death? He so wanted too. With death would come the downfall of the secret, and the end of pain. Because this pain was so much, too much. Sirius hurt with each breath, wheezed with each word, whimpered with each movement. And there was still more pain to come.

_xo _

Remus had grabbed James by his lapels. 'You stupid arse!' he roared, his eyes glimmering with uncontained anger.

James was still laughing though, and a kick to the shins didn't even snap him out of his reverie. Remus released his friend with a look of disgust and ran as fast as he could (which was very fast) to where the roars was coming from. He ran so fast his feet felt like they were falling off. And then, skidding into the view of the troll, he took in the sight of a beast, maybe ten or eleven foot tall, sitting on the ground with his enormous hands fighting to keep something in his grip.

The troll was gigantic, naked and dirty with mud and blood and sweat. It seemed to be juggling with something, and cried with laughter when the object stopped squirming, but roared with anger when it tried to wriggle free.

To say Remus was shocked was an understatement. The troll was _playing _with Peter, not eating Peter!

'You think ... I'd send Peter off to a beast that would try and eat him?' asked James in a breathy voice, he wasn't laughing like before but looked rather offended and hurt by Remus's assumption. 'I'd never d–do that to him, no matter how hurt or betrayed I feel.'

'I'm – I'm sorry,' panted Remus. They looked to see that the troll was grinning down at its hands where the rat wasn't squirming anymore.

Peter must have seen his friends and relaxed. 'Now ...' James started, turning from the troll and the rat to the werewolf. 'How d'you think we should go about doing this?'

And the quirk of his eyebrow made Remus laugh. 'I think we should confund the poor bastard.'

_xo _

Lily threw her arms around James before he even passed the threshold, kissing his face again and again. It was the thirteenth of January, and the sun had just set. The air was frosty and white, the trees were still and silent, and there were no animals in sight.

Lily was puffing with relief. 'James,' she was whispering against his lips, ignoring or not seeing the other Marauders perched at their door. She kissed him once more, this time a deep and loving kiss that lasted for many seconds. She rubbed her nose against his.

'Oh James, I love you, I love you, you're safe, I love you.' Lily breathed, her eyes already streaming with tears of happiness. Her husband wrapped his arms around her, squeezing her tight and nipping her bottom lip affectionately.

'I've missed you so much,' he told her. 'I thought of you every second, every minute, especially when I was wanking—'

'DOG!'

One by one, the four of them turned to see Harry hurrying forwards on his bare chubby legs, throwing himself at his Father.

'DOG!' he cried again. James bent down and snatched his son from the ground, flinging him in the air and catching the small boy before he could fall.

'Harry,' he said, kissing his son's hair and his cheek and his head and his lips. 'Haven't you grown? Huh? Haven't you grown into a big boy?' And as if he understood, Harry nodded eagerly; dribble oozing out of his mouth and coating his chin. Lily was watching them with the fondest expression on her face, and then she turned and noticed Remus.

'Moony!' she cried happily, embracing him fiercely and kissing his head, much like a doting Mother. He laughed, and gently hugged her back. 'You've done it then? You got the recruits?'

'We've got a troll, six werewolves and five vampires ...' James answered. He turned his attention from his son to his wife. 'Lily we're going to bring him _home._'

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><p><em>AN: Yes, this chapter took so long to post, and yes, it's awful and boring and nowhere near as interesting as the others. But I honestly had no idea how to progress it further without revealing what is happening in the next chapter, chapter 29._

_On a brighter note, I would like to say thank you so much - I've reached 100 reviews and I am so grateful and happy and I just can't stop smiling. I've answered to all of your signed comments, some of which have actually inspired future chapters. I've also got over forty alerts now so thank you! I love and welcome anon reviews too! Please continue doing so, I'm definitely going to be trying to post more often it's just my workload has trebled in the last week or so._

_I'd also recommend reading a fanfic if you haven't read it before called Genuine Gemini by P.P.V.V. It's absolutely amazing, and has helped me shape the Sirius in this fanfic._

_Thanks, once again for the reviews, and take care!_

_xo_


	29. I Got You, Part One

_Disclaimer; I don't own anything other than the plot, the OCs and some spells. Hope you like this chapter :)_

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><p><em>xoxo <em>

_29. I Got You [1/2]_

James held her so tight, he wasn't sure if it was hurting her or not. He kissed her so passionately, and he watched her through hooded eyes. Lily was here, the only woman he needed was here. And she was so happy they were home.

James appraised her: the bags under her emerald eyes, the scruffy hair and the pallid skin. His baby ... she had been scared for him. They were all in the lounge, rucksacks thrown on the floor and muddy, filthy boots kicked off in the hallway.

Lily had some tea on the stove for them, and she was sitting between James and Remus, holding their hands tightly when James released her from the kiss that would surely lead somewhere had there not been guests. He failed to restrain his feelings, and smiled guiltily when Remus rolled his eyes. James ignored him and kissed Lily again on the lips.

'We'll get him back now...' she smiled, an echo of the disbelief and triumph she was feeling, that they were all feeling. She looked from James's face to Remus's and rather reluctantly, she turned to face Peter. Lily looked him up and down a few times.

From the worn face that was too thin, to the body that was smaller and slighter than it had been before. She stared into the lifeless blue eyes; Peter had always had beautiful eyes but not anymore. She watched him run a shaky hand through his limp and mousy blond hair.

Then she turned to her husband. 'Tell me everything James, tell me what's happened.'

With tea on the table and some sandwiches and biscuits, James and Remus leapt into the story. Remus explained the story of the werewolves, how he knew most of them, and with a little persuasion from Peter's side, they were willing to give half a dozen werewolves for the rescue mission on the twenty fourth. James softly told her of the vampires, and their bloodlust for Remus and their beautiful faces. He told her how they were willing to avenge the vampires that had been killed in Switzerland, but they wanted a price, Remus's blood. He told Lily how Remus had passed out, but continued through the pain so they would get the vampires on their side. And finally both Marauders turned to Peter, as though they expected him to finish the story. Peter hesitantly, tentatively started; either being corrected or stopping to try and remember what had happened after James and Remus had gotten to the clearing with the troll.

'What happened after you guys got there?' Lily asked, turning to the others because Peter couldn't remember.

'Trolls love rats. We conjured a few dozen and cast the Imperius Curse on the troll so it would understand us. We promised it as many rats as it wanted, and the troll agreed.'

Lily bit her lip, momentarily distracted by the hand cupping her face and playing with their hair and stroking her neck. 'You guys got them all? There was no cost?'

'Well the troll wanted rats, the vampires wanted blood and the werewolves wanted revenge for being tricked by Voldemort.'

'Well, what do you do now?' she asked.

James picked Harry up off the floor and nuzzled his son's neck. He looked up to his wife. 'We're leaving on the twenty third to meet the werewolves and the vampires, who are going to get the troll for us beforehand. Then we'll be off.'

Lily laughed sarcastically. 'Jamie! You're going to go off, just like that? You haven't planned what you'll do in extreme circumstances! What if there are thirty Death Eaters? What if Voldemort is there? What would you if Sirius was taken from the manor and not there when you arrive? Jamie, you need to _plan_ this.'

James shrugged. 'I was _planning_ on going with it, and we've got some of it planned! Look, the troll lures the Death Eaters out; he'll smash the manor windows and start roaring. When they're all out, or mostly out, the vampires and werewolves will pounce. Moony's going to be with them. Under the Invisibility Cloak, me and Peter'll sneak into the house. I'll have Peter's back.'

Remus nodded eagerly. 'Yes, and whilst they're up there getting Sirius we'll be _annihilating _the Death Eaters. This is on the night before the full moon. The werewolves will be hungry Lils.'

'And if Sirius isn't there?' she asked, clutching James's hand tighter.

There was a silence. But then it was Peter who broke it. 'If he's not there then at least we would have tried, at least we would have killed a bunch of Death Eaters.'

Remus turned to Peter and laughed, getting up and stretching. 'Okay, now you're forgiven.'

It wasn't only Peter who turned a confused look to Remus.

'What?' James asked a little bitterly.

Remus sighed, pulling up his top (revealing a muscular and tanned torso) and scratched his stomach hard. 'Look at all he's done for us. Maybe he didn't aid in getting the vamps, but he helped with the troll most certainly, and it was _his _story that persuaded Juliette. You can be a bastard, I don't mind, but in my eyes, Peter's done all he can to redeem himself.'

James shrugged, sinking more into the sofa now Remus had gotten up. He started tickling Harry as hard as he could, and continued talking as though Peter wasn't there. 'Fair enough Moons. But I'm waiting until we actually _get _Sirius before I even contemplate forgiving the rat—'

'James,' Lily said sternly.

'Am I the only one who understands what the _fuck _a betrayal is? If Sirius hadn't revealed Peter he'd probably be with Death Eaters, giving as much information as he could about us! And it takes more than a few missions to erase even a tenth of what he has done! I'll wait until I see him kill a Death Eater with my own eyes.'

James turned to glare at Peter, but the armchair the blond man had been sitting on was now empty. And scuttling out of the room was a rat.

Remus turned a bitter glare to James. 'Bravo Prongs, you've uttered the words only an ultimate prick would utter.'

'Welcome, Moons,' James said just as sarcastically, turning back to Lily and clutching her face in his hands and sinking into a deep and teasing kiss. Remus sighed and sat on the floor, laying himself out and stretching the aching muscles in his arms and legs and chest. Lily asked more questions and they answered them as best they could.

The rat found it hard to climb the stairs, and it took maybe five minutes before he was on the last step, struggling to right himself. But soon, it was on all its legs and scuttling fast down the corridor, making a beeline to Harry's small room. Well it wasn't Harry's room anymore...

There was a small gap in the slightly open door, and Wormtail wriggled through, entering the medium sized room with a crib in one corner and a bed in another. The windows were very slightly open, and a very pretty young girl, _woman,_ was sitting, facing the wall with her back to the rat.

She looked very young, Rose did. Her long golden hair cascaded like a waterfall down her back and her legs were crossed. She was wearing a dark red nightie, and there was something in her hand. A photograph.

When Rose turned and saw the rat she frowned. 'Peter,' she said quietly. When he transformed, sitting on the floor but a good metre away, Rose assessed him like Lily had done; she took in the dull eyes and limp hair and thin face.

'Peter,' this time her voice was more definite.

'Rose.' His voice was even softer. Peter looked pointedly at the crib and then back to the pretty young sad woman. 'Is that him?' he asked. Even Peter had heard of Sirius's son. At first, he was so overcome with grief and guilt he didn't come out of his Aunt's for a week. But soon after he realised that there was nothing he could do. Well now there was.

'Sirius James...' she whispered, tucking hair behind her ear and dropping the photograph of her and Sirius on the floor. They were both eighteen, and it was their last few weeks at Hogwarts. Rose was covering her breasts but flaunting the enormous tattoo on her back, like Sirius. The trail of stars and the trail of roses.

Sirius was very handsome in this picture, his hair parted and falling in waves to his jaw. His skin was darker than usual and his hair was scruffy and rough after the play fight with the Marauders. Rose looked very young, and she was smiling almost shyly in the picture. She always smiled shyly when she took pictures with Sirius, because she felt she could never glow like him in a photograph. And they looked so in love, _so in love._

Snatching his eyes from the photograph, Peter looked back over to the crib. 'Can ... can I see him?'

Rose sighed. She touched her temples and closed her eyes. 'I can't trust you.'

Peter got up anyway, and made his way over to the crib. He almost sobbed when he saw the baby. It was like looking at Sirius Black from twenty two years ago. The boy was his Father through and through. He turned away before he started crying over the sleeping baby.

'Looks like his daddy, doesn't he?' Rose whispered.

Peter gulped and nodded. 'I—'

'PETER!' someone roared from downstairs, it was Remus. 'PETER! COME DOWN! WE'RE PLANNING THE RESCUE!'

Rose laughed and smiled. 'You guys kept Remus safe? Good. I couldn't have my son's godfather dying on bad terms with us.' She chuckled again. 'Don't worry, I don't mind being alone. Lily has been very kind to me whilst James and Remus weren't here. She can be nice, you know?'

Peter nodded softly. 'She can be very nice.'

'It's James you need to watch out for. He can be _cold._'

Peter bit his lip and nodded. 'I know—'

'PETTIGREW! GET YOUR ARSE DOWN HERE!'

Rose laughed again. She sighed however when Peter left the room, and stood up, leaning over her son's crib and smiling down at him lovingly. There was a small part of Rose, only a very small part, that didn't want Sirius back. Not because he was a horrible, evil person but because he would _kill _her when he found out about SJ. And she didn't want to die just yet.

But Rose needed him to come back; she loved him too much to let some fear scare her off. He would be angry, but he would be safe and home. And would Rose rather a dead or kidnapped Sirius over an angry but safe one?

If so, she was as selfish as everyone made out. When Sirius got home and he found out about his son then maybe they would never be together again, but he would be home for her. He would at least offer some sort of love and care, unlike the Potters.

And so when Rose had heard the Marauders at the door, about an hour ago, she had cried of happiness. They were alive, their plan had worked out and so they were going to get Sirius Black back! Rose took her wand from the bed and cast a spell to warm the room up, because it was getting unbearably cold. Then she threw it back down and sat on her bed, looking at the faded blue of the ceiling. If Rose Taten had one wish, it would be to meet her Father.

She had never met her Father; Rose was a "bastard" in the literal sense. He ran out on her Mother when she got pregnant, and Rose had never met him. He was like her, plump red lips and plain green eyes. And he had a horrible temper like her.

It was horrible, being raised by a single parent, never getting to meet her Father. He could be dead for all she knew. And it hurt, seeing all these happy families with mums and dads and five siblings. She didn't want that for her son, she wanted him to have a dad.

So Rose had one wish, one dream.

_Dear God, I know I've done wrong before, and I know I'm not a very good person. I'm sorry, I'll try harder next time. But please, please bring him home. Bring Sirius Black back home. I'll do anything to have my baby home._

_xo _

Albus Dumbledore was a compassionate man. More often than not he let students off with wrongdoings that should have warranted expulsion. He was polite to all kinds of witches and wizards, and he did not know a single prejudice that lived in his heart.

Yes, Albus was a very compassionate and caring man. And that was why the screams from Sirius Black were driving him mad with anger. Albus had long stopped crying over the screams from the boy, as much as he wanted. He even scolded and shouted at Lord Voldemort (who stopped by twice a day to play chess or talk to Albus) about what he was doing.

'You want the secret?' Albus had said, 'Each Cruciatus Curse is a step closer to _losing _it.' But to no avail did the lectures help Sirius Black. Albus had lost count of the days (nights were shifting ambiguously into days) but he knew it had to be near the twenty fourth, right?

The last he had asked Dolohov had replied with: 'It's the twentieth, _professor_.'

All the Death Eaters sneered the word like it was a disgusting insult, meant to hurt and shame Albus. But if anything, the word restored his courage. He hadn't been tortured or hurt in any way, quite the contrary, but each conversation with the Dark Lord worried him further, made Albus doubt his plans.

Was it really a good thing letting the Death Eaters take over?

Albus looked around his room: it had a large bed and a bookcase with all his favourite books, there was a door that led to a bathroom and a wide window with flowery curtains. It was a nice room but it was his prison.

Albus was only allowed out once a day, guarded by four Death Eaters at all times during his wander around the grounds.

'Jacks?' Albus called out as loud as he could. There was a whispered spell and the door shone gold for a moment, before it opened. Jacks entered inside, with an annoyed smirk on his face.

'What shall it be, professor?' again, there was that patronising, insulting tone.

'I just wanted to ask what day it was young man. No need to speak so discordantly.'

Jacks raised a light coloured eyebrow and rolled his eyes. 'It's the twenty fourth Dumbledore. Now leave me alone unless you want me to go and get the Dark—'

But Albus zoned out. The twenty fourth. It was the twenty fourth. So where were they? Maybe they were on their way; the sun had only risen a few hours ago. Maybe they opted to come at night, because there'd be less Death Eaters.

But if Voldemort was in the house whilst they came ... He was almost always here at night.

Hopefully he wouldn't be. Snape was in on the plan, only a fraction in anyway. And he knew he had to lure Voldemort away for the duration of the day. But until then, what was Albus going to do.

Another rippling scream echoed through the house and reached Albus's ears.

'NOOOOO!' the voice sobbed in an ear-splitting bellow. There was a pause, Voldemort was most probably saying something witty and cold, and sure enough moments later another scream filled the air.

Albus closed his teary eyes and stood up; making his way to the large window that overlooked the front of the house. He could see some land stretching forwards, and buildings and houses not far off. There were a few trees, and stone pavements weaving through the fields.

The old headmaster scrunched up his eyes and wished for the screams to stop, wished the Marauders would hurry, wished that they would make it out safe. They had to make it out safe. It was one thing to be the reason thousands of wizards and witches were being oppressed, hurt and discriminated against, but to be the reason Britain's only shot – the Marauders – died, well Albus had failed his country.

They needed to survive, all four of them. To Albus, their lives right now were the most precious things. Sirius Black ... he had done something. He had turned Lord Voldemort's Dark Mark white, and his own was white too. He had done something terrible and powerful and good all at the same time.

Albus bit his lip and stared as hard as he could out the wide window. And as if taunting him, he saw four birds flying together before splitting off on their own paths and disappearing.

_And his own path shall dictate those the others shall take._

_xo _

'Marauders. The amount of times I've heard that word.' The Dark Lord whispered; his voice as quiet as the scuttle of insects on carpets.

Sirius groaned. The potions he was being fed, they _hurt _like nothing he had ever felt, more than the Cruciatus Curse, more than being whipped with Bellatrix's favourite whip, with the Stinging Ointment she put on the ends. They hurt like fuck.

Sirius whimpered when Lord Voldemort teasingly flashed the half empty bottle of the light blue liquid. 'It – started ... out as a – joke,' wheezed the young man, scrunching his eyes and sighing as the last rippling spasms flittered through his body.

Voldemort nodded. 'The Marauders are family to you, aren't they? James Potter, Remus Lupin ... Peter Pettigrew.'

Sirius was so tired. He wanted to die. Let him die. He wanted to die. Someone kill him, _SOMEONE KILL HIM!_

'No!' snapped Amal, wrapping herself around Sirius's neck. 'No, no, you can't do this. You're so close to us, if you stay you'll be with us ... forever.'

'Forever and ever,' another voice whispered, and Sirius turned to see Aubrey, a worried smile on his face. 'Let them drive you to insanity, they'll be the insane ones.'

Amal looked up with pleading cat-eyes, flashing the colour orange like she said Sirius's flashed whenever he felt the Dark Lord near. 'We'll protect you Paddy.'

'Forever and ever.'

Sirius looked up, this time with more courage than he had shown the past few days. Yes, he wanted to follow the Cuddlies. He wanted them forever; a life with them forever wouldn't be so bad. Would it? It would surely mean an end to all the pain. But to _get_ there he needed pain, Cruciatus loads of pain. And he was surely not going to get it, now all the Death Eaters and Lord Voldemort knew he was losing his mind!

Sirius needed to do something to warrant losing his mind. It would keep the secret safe; that much he was sure of! And Amal and Aubrey always went on about how many amazing friends they had in the Cuddly world.

'Are there any dogs?' He remembered asking.

Aubrey had nodded, tickling Sirius's cheek. 'Hundreds of puppies, in all the colours of the rainbow.'

There was a sharp jolt of pain, and Sirius was snatched from his reverie, back into reality. With Lord Voldemort's face. A face with the most anxious and worried expression. Lord Voldemort was truly scared Sirius Black had lost his mind.

'Who were you talking too?' he asked, eyes wide with anxiety.

Sirius shrugged softly, shaking his head. 'They said I'm not allowed to tell you.'

The Dark Lord shook the small vial of potion as if reminding the young man what he could do. 'Tell me who you were—'

The door burst open, and in hurried Severus Snape. His face was white as snow, and his black eyes were wide with worry. 'I'm so sorry my Lord, to interrupt you. Please forgive me. But Hogwarts, _Hogwarts_, the teachers, they're rebelling! Barty, Emmett and I ... we can't deal with it. My Lord, please!' he was breathless, and the way he spoke so urgently, so anxiously, it scared Sirius.

What on earth was happening? And it was like the past few weeks hadn't happened, and he was an Auror again, put there to save and protect people. And Hogwarts, where hundreds of kids were, with amazing and loving teachers, with dozens of house elves...

A Voldemort in Hogwarts was not a good thing. What would he do to the teachers? Kill them all, hurt them all? What would he do to Professor McGonagall? What would happen to Caroline the art teacher, the most amazing teacher? And Flitwick? What about _Hagrid?_ What would happen to all these teachers?

'My Lord ... _please._' Snape's voice broke, portraying just how much fright he felt. Lord Voldemort turned to look at Sirius for what seemed like an hour, watching the man and touching his cold skin more than once, just to satisfy himself with the fact that Sirius was still here.

'M-my Lord, if you would prefer Bellatrix or Dolohov to help control the teachers ... I don't want to disturb you from dealing with Black.'

Voldemort shook his head. 'It's alright Severus, we were just finishing up. It would probably be best to bring three or four Death Eaters with us. But the other thirteen who are remaining _must _stay.'

Snape nodded quickly and urgently. 'I'll go round up a few my Lord!'

'And send a few to keep Black company, please,' Lord Voldemort said with a teasing smile sent Sirius's way. And together, Lord Voldemort and Snape left Sirius alone, but not before Snape looked Sirius in the eye and very deliberately winked.

He started hyperventilating, what was Snape planning? What was he doing? Was this all a joke, a lie, something to lure Voldemort out of the manor? The door was thrown open, and in sauntered Mulciber and a few others. Their wands were out and they conjured some sofas, sitting less than a metre from Sirius.

Two of the three Death Eaters who came in were ones Sirius didn't recognise. They were new recruits. Ever since Voldemort had taken reign over the Ministry and Hogwarts, young witches and wizards were lining up to become Death Eaters.

It was nauseating.

A young boy, probably the same age as Regulus would have been, called Samuel, pulled out his wand and conjured some food: steaming beef with gravy and potatoes and peas and carrots and cabbage. It looked delicious. Sirius's stomach growled loudly and he licked his lips as he watched Samuel hand a plate over to Mulciber, who was probably the head of the group in charge of guarding Sirius.

They talked loudly for over an hour about things Sirius was tempted to ask questions about, like Remus Lupin and the runaway Order members who had managed to escape. When he heard that the Dementor's had captured Frank Longbottom only just last week, and were guarding him in the top prisoner cell, Sirius wanted to scream at them. When he heard that Kingsley Shacklebolt had killed two Death Eaters just yesterday, well Sirius felt overwhelmed with pride and worry.

'What day is it?' Sirius suddenly asked. He wanted to know how long he'd been locked up in here. It felt like a year, maybe even two. And he was so tired, so very tired. Death would have been merciful. He had to get over the fact that he would never watch Harry grow up, never flirt with Lily to annoy her husband, never play fight with Remus, never joke around with James ... never play pranks on Peter. And he missed his friends, his _family _so much. What was worse was the fact that they would all go to heaven, if there was such a thing. But Sirius, he knew he was going hell. So in all his senses, spiritually, physically, mentally, he would never see them again.

And Rose Taten? Stupid bint. She was a Mother now; a Mother with a son that was not his. Did he have her blonde hair? Sirius sincerely hoped so, even when Rose was young (she hadn't been much of a looker) what stood out most was her beautiful golden hair. Sirius wished her the best. He wished her the chance to meet that one special guy and love him totally and fully forever, if the man was not her son's Father.

And that man would not be Sirius, for his time alive was coming to an end. He could feel it. Maybe he wouldn't be killed, but he would lose his mind, he would lose _more _of his mind. Already he was struggling to keep it in his grasp, to hold on to everything he knew and everything he was.

'It's the twenty fourth Black. You've been here two months. Bet it feels like two years.' Mulciber teased, laughing with his friends and mocking Sirius further.

'Fuck you,' Sirius hissed, shaking the shaggy hair out of his face and turning a bitter glare onto Mulciber, who frowned.

'Tut-tut, that's not the way to speak to your betters, Sirius Black. I might have to show you a lesson. See if I can do what all the other Death Eaters have failed to do, _make you scream._'

The young, chained man laughed bitterly, wishing to aggravate Mulciber further, get the man to cast a Cruciatus, push Sirius closer to losing his mind. 'I don't like it up the bum mate, thought you knew—' he was cut off when there was violent shake of the house. Sirius would have fallen had the chains not propped him up, but Mulciber fell, hard on his chest. The others slipped off the sofas, food covering them and the floor.

There was another violent lurch, and they could hear an ominous, loud roar echoing around the house. More bellows followed, and there were sounds of screaming from downstairs.

'A TROLL! THERE'S A TROLL OUTSIDE!' Sirius could hear Narcissa screaming from downstairs. When he looked up to see how the Death Eaters were handling it, he saw that it was empty. The Death Eaters who had just been here, were now running from the room, most likely off to go and help restrain the troll. How on earth had a troll appeared anyway?

Then Sirius heard the sounds of fighting and screaming outside. Ear-splitting shrieks, heartbreaking cries, the sound of spells colliding with things, the sound of spells hitting off things. The sounds of growls, low and deep, not unlike the ones Remus would utter close to the full moon. Was it a full moon today?

When Sirius strained and turned to see the moon shimmering in the sky, he knew that the full moon was tomorrow. His thoughts were drifting to other matters when he was snapped back into reality. The sounds of fighting had moved inside the house.

This had to be a joke, something to test the Death Eaters and see if they could handle another rescue mission. Because there was no way in hell the Aurors and Order members would be dumb enough to come and try rescue Sirius, especially since the last mission had resulted in Dumbledore being beaten, and the wizarding world collapsing.

But there was screams too real to be staged from outside, and Sirius listened as hard as he could for a few minutes. There was definite growling, a lot like Remus's growls, which meant there were werewolves. Then there was the troll, obviously still outside because Sirius could hear the screams of Death Eaters as they were almost squashed. But there was another group of people, not werewolves or trolls, but something else. Sirius didn't hear the sounds of spells hitting spells, which meant that this side, the side against the Death Eaters were not totally human.

The smaller fight commencing inside the house moved closer to Sirius, he could hear hissed instructions and screams. He could hear a baby crying – Draco? Yes, because Narcissa started begging and bellowing as another voice, slightly familiar, started talking to her. She must have been guarding the stairs, but then there were sounds of hard and fast footsteps up the stairs.

Sirius closed his eyes. This wasn't real, this couldn't be real. This was a test from Lord Voldemort, testing to see if the Death Eaters were capable of keeping others from capturing Sirius Black so nothing like the rescue mission last month would happen again. Sirius had long given up the dream of escaping the Malfoy Manor. His biggest regret would always, forever and always be not killing Malfoy when he had the chance.

His biggest regret would be not finding Rose, not dragging her stupid arse back to London and marrying the bitch. His biggest regret would be leaving Regulus to fend for himself, to fight for himself. It would always be Regulus who held the biggest regret in Sirius's life.

And a legacy? A legacy to leave behind. A child, a baby that was fifty percent his and fifty percent someone else. The amount of girls Sirius had knocked up, maybe three or four. And all of them had gotten abortions. And he had done nothing to stop them. Now he wished he had. A child with a woman he didn't love was, to him, better than dying with no child at all.

Sirius heard the door burst open. He heard someone panting, deep and heavy pants. He didn't want to open his eyes, because then he'd open his eyes to a Death Eater, and it would diminish the small hope that standing in the doorway was an Order member, maybe even an Auror. Someone here to rescue him!

'_Sirius,_' the voice breathed breathlessly.

His silver eyes snapped open. The man's clothes were torn, and bloody. His lip was swollen and his wand was gripped tight in his hand. His hair had grown a little too long, and his eyes behind the cracked glasses were bloodshot and wide, appraising the image of Sirius in chains, coated in blood from weeks ago.

Sirius looked James Potter up and down. This wasn't real, this wasn't his friend, this wasn't real. But regardless of it was real or not, his heart started beating as fast as drum. His breathing quickened. How could Lord Voldemort do this to him? How could he somehow turn a Death Eater into James Potter and use him to trick Sirius. Why would Voldemort go and get Sirius's hopes up?

And all these thoughts raged through his head the second it took for "James Potter" to whisper his name, in a voice so familiar and husky and quiet.

Sirius looked James in his eyes, his hazel eyes, threw back his head and screamed as loud as he could.

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><p><em>AN: Because this is out so quickly [I felt bad for posting such a crap chapter two days ago] I'd appreciate some reviews. YES, JAMES HAS FINALLY GOTTEN TO SIRIUS! Tell me what you think, as always I'm so grateful for what you think about updates. Any suggestions or things you'd like to see will surely be noticed, and if I think it fits into the plot I'll take it :)_

_But I realllyyyy want to know what you think of this chapter, more so than any of the others. I know the last dozen updates have been leading up to this, so it would be interesting to hear your opinions._

_Thank you all SO much, take care!_

_-xo_


	30. I Got You, Part Two

_Disclaimer; I don't own anything apart from the plot of this story, the OCs and some spells. _

_Sorry if there are any mistakes, I wrote most of this on Doc Manager because Microsoft Word is being difficult. Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy :)_

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><p><em>xoxo<em>

_30. I Got You [2/2]_

The sun had set, but the sky still flickered with lighter patches of blue and small areas of gold. It was dazzling. The air was white and cold and the trees were frozen and still. It was dark enough for the troll to disguise as a tree.

Remus had placed a Silencing Charm on it, because the roars were so loud they would have been heard a mile away. The group of werewolves, vampires and wizards crept so quietly the gentle rustle of leaves could be heard over their footsteps. At the front stood Juliette, Emily and Remus. The latter pair had been playing most flirtatiously together during the journey to the Malfoy Manor. But James couldn't bring himself to feel amused. His stomach was lurching, and his throat was as dry as sandpaper. He coughed a few times to try and clear it, but to no avail.

James swallowed hard and looked up, but he could only see Remus, with an arm draped around the vampire's shoulder as she whispered something into his ear. James did however find it endearing though, that his shy werewolf friend was bold enough to try it on with a vampire. She'd probably end up eating him during the sex though.

'Are you okay?' a werewolf asked James. He turned to see a boy, not much younger than him, with the most radiant coppery skin and the shiniest cropped afro. He was very handsome. Next to him stood a girl, skin white like snow, and eyes a very pale blue. They were both smiling at him, and James smiled tightly back.

'I think I'll be alright. I'm just nervous.'

The boy shook his head. 'He'll be happy to see you, lucky even. Don't chicken out Potter.'

James grinned at the boy, liking him more and more with each passing second. 'I'm not chickening out, wolfie, I'm just ... you know...'

'Worried.' The girl finished, a hesitant frown on her young face. She shrugged. 'The worse that can happen is Black not being there. So we might lose a few of our pack, that's gonna be sad. We'll lose vampires, but who cares? And the troll might die too. But really, we've already lost everything Potter. What else is there to lose?'

James chewed on his lip. She was right, of course she was right. She was maybe five years older, and she was a woman – women knew everything. And older women? They were geniuses.

'You're right.'

'Of course I am. Now, let's go see what Remus and his new girlfriend want...' And true enough, a little ahead, the werewolves and vampires had crowded around Remus and Emily. The wolves were being hostile, more than hostile as they glared at the vamps, who sent them taunting kisses and laughed devilishly.

If a fight broke out now ... Remus had barely managed to stop a fight between a werewolf and two vampires a few hours back.

'The house is a few minutes from here.' Emily said, flicking a glance at the large house before them, tall, erect and proud. It was a daunting house, the type in horror films or mystery novels. 'We're so close. Close to getting Black and getting revenge. We need to bear that in mind. Whatever happens, we need to get our revenge and those _Death Eaters_,' she said the word with such disgust and hatred James shivered a little, 'those monsters need to get a taste of their own medicine.'

There were cheers from the vampires, who surged forward to her, discussing things like what they would do and how they would kill the Death Eaters. It was both hilarious and slightly nauseating.

Remus grinned at James and Peter as he walked over to them, putting a hand on each of their shoulders. 'Smile, Prongs. We're getting him back. We're bringing him home.'

James bit his lip again, this time hard enough to draw blood. He wasn't sure, all of a sudden, if this was a good plan. They should have spent more time planning! He couldn't put Sirius's life at risk. He couldn't endanger his friend especially since this was the last chance of getting him back. This deserved more than a month's preparation. But it was such a perfect time to rescue; unexpected (less than a month after the previous mission) and just before a full moon.

Remus was already very lupine in actions and movements. His eyes were like slits, and they shone like flames. His teeth were pointier than usual, like daggers, and his fingers were long and thin and sharp, like spears. To think, he was the best off out of all the werewolves. One of them actually had managed to get a little taller and thicker. But only if you let the wolf, who waited impatiently at the surface, break free as hard as it could. And this must have been the second time Remus had ever done it.

No one would ever know just how incredible the werewolves were – they were never given a chance. Such a shame, with some werewolves as Aurors the bad side wouldn't win so much. The pack leader, Juliette, came over from her own quiet group huddle and put an arm around Remus's shoulder affectionately. 'When you get him, you'll go and leave us with the Death Eaters, right?' she asked quietly, a sadistic and malevolent expression carved on her face.

Remus hesitated. 'Would you like me to stay? I wouldn't mind—'

'I raise a pack of two dozen. I can handle a few weak wizards and witches. Don't worry _Tame_,' she said his nickname with fondness, 'nothing will happen. We want this.'

And this time, as they neared so close they were maybe twenty metres from the gates, and in the cover of the tall and frozen trees, they released the troll from the Binding Spell. With a flick of his wand, Remus lifted the Silencing Charm on the troll, and his roar rippled through the air like a gun shot. All of them, the wolves and vamps and wizards alike shivered in fright, their faces flushing with anticipation.

'Forward, go forward!' James whispered under his breath, his infamous _Imperio_ underway, but straining. The troll blundered forwards, an enormous dark brown bat in his hand, brandishing it carelessly above his head as he batted the gates aside like they were made from paper. The first collision with the actual house was so loud James winced.

Within seconds there were screams from inside the manor; high pitched screams and low ones. It was almost funny. Almost. And rushing out of the house were maybe ten Death Eaters, most without robes or masks but dressed casually instead. They all had wands out, pointing at the troll.

The Death Eaters froze before him, obviously scared. No one messed with a mountain troll, that was a rule. But to mess with a forest troll? Well they were the fiercest of them all! It was suicide.

Mulciber seemed to be the first to recover from his shock. 'WHO SENT YOU?' he bellowed, standing proudly at the front of the group. His face was furious, and his eyes were like jewels, burning beautifully but frighteningly too.

It was Emily's cue. She winked at Remus, who blushed. 'Wish me luck, wolf.'

'Good luck, bloodsucker.' He grinned at her as she laughed delightfully, her white skin shining like a ghost in the darkness. Emily stepped out from under the cover of trees, dressed in a thin sleeveless white silk dress, ending at her knees and revealing pale snowy skin. She looked like a child almost, with her black hair hanging around her face as she tentatively took a few steps forward.

'Who are you?' one of the new Death Eater recruits spat viciously, taking in the appearance of the unarmed and vulnerable young girl but lowering her wand like all the others, save Mulciber. _Yes!_ This first phase of the plan had worked.

'I ... I – sent him,' she whispered in a shy stutter, utterly fake – Emily was an amazing actress.

Mulciber turned to the Death Eaters next to him, chuckling sarcastically and turning to face her with a slightly deranged expression on his face, eyes raking her superb body.

James could of laughed at how stupid Mulciber was, _how had he not noticed the way Emily was dressed in the middle of winter?_ Dumb bastard. That was the only clue as to what exactly she was.

'Of course you did,' he said. 'Of course, little girl. Well, I'm sorry, I truly am. But sending a troll to the Malfoy Manor to harm me and my friends ... well that wasn't a wise choice, girl. You'll have to pay. _Avada Kedavra!_'

The jet of bottle green light hit Emily, but she didn't fall, and she didn't die. In fact, she barely batted an eyelash. She just smiled patiently, whilst all the Death Eaters gasped and backed away like she was the devil. Another tried sending a second Killing Curse, but like the previous, it did nothing. Emily chuckled and grinned devilishly up at the Death Eaters, her inch long fangs peeping out and her eyes flashing brightly. 'That won't work on a vampire ... we're already dead,' she whispered before pouncing on the nearest wizard.

It was like all hell broke loose. And it did, it really did. The werewolves were taking out all their pent up energy on the Death Eaters, tearing them apart and throwing them fifteen feet in the air. And the vampires were ravenous, sinking their fangs into the Death Eaters and tearing them limb from limb, draining the blood from their detached arms and legs.

James himself battled one Death Eater, who tried to bind him up in ropes and transport him somewhere. It didn't work though because James, like the werewolves, had so much energy to let out. And it felt _so _good.

A '_Corpio!_' curse was deflected lazily and James managed to send the winning spell, killing the Death Eater soundly but painlessly.

When a weak young Death Eater's Cruciatus failed on James, he decided to give the boy the benefit of the doubt. He looked to be maybe seventeen or eighteen. And no one deserved to lose their life so early on because of one foolish mistake. He grabbed the boy and wrapped his hand around his throat, pressing his dark wand into his throat.

'Run, run and get out of here! You don't want to be _apart of this!_ Save yourself whilst you can, otherwise it'll be them you'll have to answer too!'

The boy was sobbing, but he nodded very hard. 'M-my p-parents made ... me,' he whispered breathlessly, tears falling down onto his lips.

James sighed and nodded quickly, agitated to get into the manor and rescue Sirius. 'Don't listen to them! Get out of here and remember that next time, you won't be met with my mercy!'

And with a loud and rippling crack, the boy was gone. James sighed, and at that moment his eyes clashed with Peter's. His old friend looked at him with the same admiration and pride from back at Hogwarts, and Peter nodded, before turning around and clashing wands with a Death Eater.

They battled furiously before Peter had the woman on the floor, wand broken at her feet and sobs leaving her mouth. James watched for a moment, the way Peter decided not to kill her but instead tied her up and sent her God knows where, probably a dirty sewer.

There was an enormous smash, and with frightened eyes, James saw that the troll had burst open the front doors, creating a mini explosion. And with a sickened lurch, James remembered the whole reason he was here in the first place.

_Sirius._

He ran over to Peter, grabbing the smaller man by his arm and dragging him. 'Sirius! We need to get Sirius!' he cried, but when they got to the doorway, ignoring the enormous battle going on behind them, Narcissa Black-Malfoy slid into their path, her wand out and the most hateful expression carved in every feature.

There was distant crying, a baby crying. James smiled malevolently, especially when the baby toddled into view. He could use the boy.

'You don't know,' Narcissa breathed, 'how long I've wanted to do this.' She was very beautiful, but with such a snobby, arrogant expression on her face she looked horrible.

James pointed his wand fast at the baby, maybe two or three metres away. He smiled coldly. 'I suggest you drop your wand, or I'll blast your son into confetti.'

James would never do such a thing to a baby, a helpless baby, especially one that reminded him so much of the son he'd left behind. He wouldn't even do it to a helpless Death Eater either; it did nothing for his confidence to kill an unarmed enemy and it was anything but noble. Narcissa however, didn't know that James would never harm her son, and if she did, she wasn't willing to risk it.

She turned so fast her neck clicked, and upon seeing her son as the target, she threw her wand down on the ground and started screaming and begging.

'PLEASE DON'T HURT HIM,' she cried as loud as she could. 'PLEASE! PLEASE DONT DO ANYTHING!'

James almost felt sorry for her, but instead he elbowed Narcissa Black out of the way and made his way down the corridor, ducking when shattered glass came his way, and dodging a few spells aimed at him.

Peter was fending off the Death Eaters pretty well. James on the other hand felt so agitated he could barely do more than stun them. But soon he approached some stairs. Standing before the stairs was a pair of werewolves, fighting terrifically with three Death Eaters.

James turned his head where there was an enormous hole in the wall that led to the outside. A few vampires were strewn over a dead, lifeless body at the mouth of the hole and when they looked up James saw their faces painted with blood.

He turned away fast, the horrors of war expanding gruesomely in his mind. His unexploded mind. But it was so close to exploding; he'd seen too much death to only be twenty one.

'JAMES! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? GET UP THERE!' Remus cried from the opposite end of the corridor, before shoving Emily roughly out of the way and batting aside a vicious spell. She didn't like that though, not one bit. She punched Remus in the back, and took his place when he stumbled. Then she pounced on the Death Eater, fighting with teeth, claws and uncanny strength.

Once again James was plucked out of his reverie when the hardest spell hit his side, and he flew into a wall. But before the Killing Curse could be uttered, James petrified the bastard he didn't know, and leapt up the stairs, three at a time.

Peter was right behind him and so was some of the fight. It was a terrible fight, so terrible that James felt like crying. They were _slaughtering _the Death Eaters. Surely this wasn't just? Surely this was cruel? This wasn't a _war_, this wasn't a _battle_, this was a massacre. But he threw his morals and beliefs and principles aside when he finished the first flight of stairs and proceeded to climb the second.

He didn't have time for this; Sirius was only two floors above, he was so close. And if this mission didn't succeed, Sirius would be up there forever. Already it had been two months and James felt like he couldn't stand another day without his best friend. He couldn't stand another minute.

'JAMES! GET THE FUCK UP THEM STAIRS!' Peter screamed, pushing James a little forcefully. Had he really frozen? What was wrong with his body? What was wrong with him? Wasn't he supposed to be running as fast as he could up the stairs? Didn't he want to see Sirius?

Of course he did. But he was scared of what he could find. He was scared that maybe when he got there, he wouldn't find his friend. He would find someone else who had taken Sirius's mind and turned him into a different person. James was worried all the Cruciatus Curses and torture had destroyed the man Sirius Black was, leaving a shell.

Then, coming into view was Mulciber, sporting quite a few injuries and limping heavily. But his grin was cold and intense. James didn't need another reminder, he hurried up the stairs fast, tripping over his feet whilst the sounds of Peter and Mulciber's duel reached his ears. Peter had been bullied by Mulciber quite a few times, hopefully he'd get payback.

Finally, James was at the attic staircase. He walked up it fast, stomping down the corridor until he was met with a thick oak door.

He panted as he threw open the door, not knowing what to expect, but definitely _not _expecting what he saw.

'Sirius,' James breathed.

His handsome friend, his very handsome friend, looked two or three dress sizes thinner and with a bloody body. His bare torso had bruises and deep scratches and thick clotted lumps of dried blood. His arms, which were a lot thinner and not as muscular as before, were chained to the wall, as were his feet. His face was bruised and bloodied too, but that wasn't what frightened James. It was the delirious manner in which Sirius Black opened his eyes when his name was whispered.

He looked deranged. His eyes were small and red, and his face looked deadly pale. There was no smile on his face. Just blissful pain and ignorant confusion. He was a different man, a different man in a different body.

But Sirius's eyes widened, as he stared deep into James's hazel eyes, and for seconds they watched each other. But then Sirius did something that hurt and confused and surprised James – he threw back his head and screamed at the top of his lungs. The scream was so loud and so filled with pain, James felt tears fall down his eyes.

He wanted to step through into the door and give his friend a tender long hug. But he couldn't. Because Peter was still downstairs fighting. James's eyes never left Sirius's face, looking at the familiar features. Looking at the features he didn't recognise. The actions that were memorable. The actions that were alien. He didn't recognise the man before him. And it hurt so much.

After what seemed like a lifetime but was probably a minute, the screaming stopped. James's eyes never left Sirius's face, and though the scream sounded so familiar, the hurt in it was something strange to him.

Sirius's cries stopped, but his eyes didn't open and he didn't lower his head, still tilted up to face the ceiling. After a jolt, James realised that Sirius was murmuring quietly under his breath. He longed to hear what his friend was saying but he restrained it, instead satisfying himself with taking in the sight of Sirius Black, like a blind man finally getting his sight back.

Then there were heavy footsteps and Peter stomped down the corridor towards James, with blood smeared across his face and shaky breaths leaving his mouth. His wand was clutched tightly in his hand and he looked victorious.

'You didn't see it with your own eyes like you wanted to,' he panted, 'but I killed him. I promise. I killed Mulciber.'

James couldn't hear what Peter was saying though, because he turned to watch Sirius who watched him back with livid eyes. The handsome Black started muttering quicker to himself, a few whimpers escaping his mouth as he looked furiously between James and Peter.

'No,' he moaned loud enough for the others to hear, 'no,' Sirius whispered. 'They're not real, they're can't be real, can they?'

The fighting downstairs was getting closer and it sounded like the wolves and vamps were almost finished; now they needed to get Sirius and Dumbledore out of there—

_Dumbledore! _This whole time, this whole rescue, through the planning and the missions to get the werewolves and the vampires on  
>their side, the Marauders had not once thought about rescuing Dumbledore. They had mentioned him, but had totally forgotten that he was here in the Malfoy Manor too!<p>

'Dumbledore,' whispered James. No, _no,_ they would focus on Dumbledore after getting their friend. Sirius was the priority; he was the one they _needed!_

'After,' breathed Peter, grabbing James by the arm and dragging him through the shield. It wasn't a pleasant feeling and upset James's stomach even more, if possible. As soon as they were past the doorway, Sirius started moving around in his chains.

James felt at awe – was Paddy so excited to see them that even though he was in pain, he was eager to reach them? But he wasn't trying to run and hug them, and the murmurs from under his breath weren't prayers or songs like James tried to pretend they were. Sirius was trying to get _away_ from them, and he was pleading with someone, _something,_ to take away James and Peter.

He paused, less than a foot away from Sirius, and looked into the dark stormy grey irises. Eyes James could draw in his sleep, would recognise anywhere, could understand any emotion those eyes betrayed. But it was like he was looking at someone different. It felt like he was looking at someone different.

'James?' an unfamiliar voice breathed. It was scratchy and hoarse and quiet, and it was certainly not Sirius Black's voice. 'No, _no,_ this is a trick, _no_ ... you can't be here, who _are _you?'

Breathing in cautiously, and trying hard to stem the flow of tears and block out the sounds of violent fighting, James tentatively brushed a finger against his friend's jaw. 'Paddy, I am here—'

'NO! NO! THIS IS A LIE! YOU ARENT HERE, YOU'RE NOT HERE! PLEASE, VOLD– MY LORD, PLEASE, I'M SORRY ... I'M SORRY! JUST GET THEM AWAY, _GET HIM AWAY!_'

James backed away, like he had been burned. He had been burned, by his best friend. 'It _is _me, Paddy, it's me, James.'

Sirius started shaking viciously in his chains, contorting and finding more energy than he'd had these past few days. 'You're lying. YOU'RE LYING!' He screamed at the top of his lungs, his voice reaching such a piercing pitch James ended up stuffing his fingers in his ears.

The chained man was quivering in his shackles, screaming at the top of his lungs when Peter waved his wand and the manacles fell to the ground with a smack. Sirius dropped, as the chains, which had been acting like his skeleton, were now on the floor, and offering him no support.

As the ground sped up to meet Sirius he blacked out, amidst a hollering cry of anger escaping his own mouth. When his eyes opened a few minutes later, it was to the sound of fighting inside the attic. Vicious fighting. There were screams and growls; low and ominous, like Remus's ones a few days before the full moon back at Hogwarts when they'd annoy their werewolf friend.

Hovering over him was James, bellowing words that Sirius couldn't hear, couldn't bring himself to hear. This voice ... he'd dreamed of hearing James's voice the first day he'd gotten here.

There was another familiar voice, roaring orders and spells. _Moony._ Impossible. How had Lord Voldemort transformed three Death Eaters into such uncanny clones of his best friends, his family? Sirius had definitely underestimated Lord Voldemort.

And he would forever regret it. The battle felt real though, the cries from the new recruits and old recruits alike, the force of which spells were screamed, the injuries inflicted. And really, how could anyone, even Lord Voldemort, be able to turn someone into a vampire or a werewolf just for a trick? Magic didn't go so far.

Because they looked so real, the claws and the fangs. There was actual blood dripping off one of the vampire's fangs.

Sirius's attention was stolen again though when James tried to haul him up off the ground. He could only catch some of the words.

'GODRIC'S – OUT OF HERE ... _UP, SIRIUS, GET _– Remus, Peter, _help!_'

Sirius felt his eyes droop shut and his body was suddenly lifted off the ground, like he weighed the same as a bag of feathers. With great difficulty, he wedged open his eyes and saw nothing but Remus Lupin's face.

Moony was the strongest and the fastest out of all of them. But only the real Moony. An imposter wouldn't have any of his characteristics. An imposter wouldn't smell so much like the Remus Lupin Sirius loved.

He struggled to keep his eyes open as vampires and werewolves and Death Eaters lunged at each other, trying to protect the handsome Black or trying to attack him. The floor was soaked with little puddles of blood and scattered furniture lay blasted all over.

'It's okay Paddy,' Remus's voice said quietly in a comforting tone, 'we've got you.' And peeping into view was James's face, as they hurried as fast as they could from the manor.

'I've got you,' James whispered. 'I've got you now, and I won't let you go.'

The rest passed in flickers. Sirius's whole body ached and he couldn't breathe properly. When the freezing cold air hit his face he felt like laughing; he hadn't felt air in such a long time. The stars above shone brighter than ever, and the moon looked practically full as it lit up the sky. Remus's breathing was ragged; he was strong and fast but dragging around a hundred and fifty five pounds wasn't much of a help.

But they were so close to the gates; they were so close to being able to disapparate and get away safely. It was almost too good to be true. Sirius didn't believe it. A rescue mission. This wasn't a rescue mission. This was a test. A test set up by the Darkest Lord to have ever roamed the earth.

When they were less than five metres from the gates, Sirius started shrieking again. He could hear shouts from behind. He could still hear the fighting. He could hear "Peter Pettigrew" deflecting curses. He could hear "James Potter's" pants and whispers of comfort. He could hear "Remus Lupin" begging for him to be quiet.

But he didn't shut up. Though he felt dead, he couldn't feel his arms and legs, and it took so much energy to even breathe, Sirius continued to shout and scream and plead for them to return him, to stop tricking him.

Then he felt heat. Sirius felt such heat, that his screams were cut off and his breathing stopped. He distinctly remembered flying through the air and landing on the floor, with no energy to get up and run. Had something happened? Had Lord Voldemort's plan failed?

'_Pads,_' wheezed Remus, crawling on all fours, with tattered clothes and dried blood, 'Come 'ere,' he moaned in pain when another flick of fire shot towards them. Luckily, Remus managed to dodge it. His hand appeared on Sirius's shoulder, gripping it painfully tight.

With an enormous roar, he managed to stand up and bring Sirius up with him, throwing his friend over his shoulder and stumbling. James hurried over, offering support and whispering soothing words to Sirius.

'It's me, your brother, _please_ be quiet Paddy, _please_,' he demanded huskily. They were feet from the gates now, and it was Peter who threw them open just as a detached arm sailed across their heads and splattered them with blood.

'One more step.' Remus pleaded. As soon as they passed the gates and were out of the Malfoy Manor boundaries, with sickening cracks, one by one the Marauders disapparated, taking Sirius with them.

It was an unpleasant feeling, and when he managed to suck in the bitter cold oxygen of Godric's Hollow, Sirius reeled, spewing all of his stomach's contents on the sidewalk. Remus stubbornly refused to let him go, patiently ignoring the vomit splattering on his shoes.

He was past delirious now, and Sirius could barely keep his eyes open. He remembered being sucked into warmth, hearing the sounds of a voice, melodic and feminine and so familiar. He felt such soft skin caressing his arm as he was carried by. Lily?

Then there was a screech, a child's screech. Was it Harry? It sounded too young to be Harry. And a woman stood a foot to his left, holding a bundle with a hand stretched out. Was it Harry? It had to be Harry. Who else could it be? And when had he gotten so small?

Mustering as much energy as he could, Sirius reached out and brushed his dirty, weak hand against the soft small one. And in that moment, he heard a whimper, a baby's whimper.

But all too soon his eyes drooped shut, and Sirius remembered no more of the rescue, except the whispered sentence from somewhere to his right. 'I got you Pads,' the voice breathed.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Ah, this was awful, it felt awful when I was writing it. I'm sorry if it doesn't make sense, and if there are too many fragment sentences and weird phrases, but I was trying to write like how James was thinking, and he was confused for most of the rescue so I tried to write in a confusing style._

_On another note – IT WORKED! THE RESCUE WORKED! THEY FINALLY GOT SIRIUS! Any questions about this rubbish chapter, leave a review or PM me - I don't mind. And I'm so grateful for all the reviews I got on the last chapter. Thank you all so much, I hope you enjoyed it._

_Leave a comment, I'd be ever so grateful,_

_Take care!_

_xo_


	31. Aftermath

_Disclaimer; I do not own anything but some spells, potions, the OCs and the plot. I hope you enjoy this chapter, I tried to make it not so cliché. I would also like to thank the reviews who always leave comments, if it weren't for you guys this wouldn't be up so soon._

_In this chapter, you will all see the real Rose Taten because Sirius is back :D _

_Sorry if there are any mistakes, I'll be sure to edit this properly in the future._

* * *

><p><em>xoxo <em>

_31. Aftermath _

James felt like crying when he watched as Remus carried Sirius into the house, whilst SJ was carried over by Rose, and Sirius brushed his baby's hand. James felt like crying when he whispered to his friend, trying to offer some comfort, 'I'm here mate, I've got you.'

If he had thought walking into the Malfoy Manor attic and seeing his best friend chained to the walls like an animal was heartbreaking he was wrong. Watching Moony settle a deranged and screaming Sirius down on the sofa was what deeply scarred James. Sirius was unhinged, moaning and bellowing in his sleep. He was talking to people, talking to _Amal and Aubrey_. Who were they? Death Eaters who hurt him? Other prisoners he became friends with?

Lily tried to wake him up several times to give him potions but he'd fall asleep straight afterwards. It was like he hadn't slept in months. He _hadn't _slept in months. The handsome man was tired, so tired. James fell to his knees besides his sleeping friend, ignoring the fact that the expensive antique sofa was absorbing all the blood, and held Sirius's hand tightly, pressing urgent kisses to it whilst Lily bustled around the house, making potions and healing injuries.

Barely an hour had passed and James felt like he was going mad. All he could hear was SJ crying. All he could hear were Lily's screams of rage as another potion failed. All he could hear was Remus, sitting on the opposite sofa, moaning in pain as Peter dripped Dittany into his wounds.

It was like time was moving too fast. Like time was running towards them ... to _hurt _them. When the sun started to rise, James knew he was so close to having a mental and physical breakdown, he was so close to dropping unconscious to the floor. But he had to stay awake for when Sirius woke up. And right now it didn't seem like he was waking up any time soon.

He could hear arguing from just outside the door and his head snapped up.

'—please Lily, _please_—'

'—no Rose! I can't let you—'

'But James is in there! You've let James stay in there! I thought we were friends! I thought we _became _friends, please L—'

Lily's growl cut Rose off. James waited in anticipation before hearing Lily answer in a quiet and rather annoyed voice. 'Don't wake him up. _Please_ Rose. Just go in and see him, but don't wake him.'

Rose burst into the room, where all the Marauders looked up. 'Rosie,' Remus grinned, in a rather delirious manner, before sinking back to the cushions and hissing with each spell cast on his body, and each drop of Dittany.

She spared a look at Peter and Remus's direction before hurrying over to James. She sunk to her knees next to James and snatched Sirius's hand from his own. She kissed it again and again as she took in her boyfriend, with only a small towel covering his baby-making anatomy. His legs were sickly pale and much skinner than they had ever been.

Rose could see the bones bulging out. She, with her other hand, left fingertip-caresses on the skin of his legs, her eyes wide with shock and sobs escaping her mouth. 'Oh baby...' she whispered, turning to wipe her eyes on James's shoulder and pausing for a moment to breathe in deeply.

Then Rose continued her autopsy, her hands briefly passing over the towel covered portion, and then lightly tracing the scars on his abdomen and his chest. She straightened up, kissing the largest bandage and moving on to kiss his collarbone and his chin and his jaw and his cheek and his lips. For seconds Rose just kissed his lips.

Sirius stirred a little, and she jumped back in shock. But he didn't move. As soon as he settled once again, Rose continued tracing every spot of his injured body.

'Lily's done a remarkable job,' James whispered, putting an arm around Rose's waist. 'You should've seen him before. He looked so — so ... _horrible_.'

James took in her face: the bloodshot green eyes with deep bags under; the very scarlet red lips trembling with each breath; the washed out tanned skin managing to still look golden but pale. She looked a mess.

'Jamie ... _what are we going to do?_' she whispered, her warm breath fanning against his face. James wrapped his arms around her and held her for moments, whilst her hand continued its post mortem of Sirius's body.

'None of the potions Lily has made are working.' His voice broke and he closed his mouth quickly taking in a deep breath. 'She's trying one more, but we can't get the feeling in his legs back. We've even cut one of his calves, enough to wake him up, but he didn't feel anything. He can't feel _anything_ down there Rose!'

Rose let out a strangled cry, and looked back at the most important man in her life. She kissed the cold, icy red hand she held again and again. 'He'll never forgive me ... when he finds out about his son.'

'Would you expect him too?' James asked, running a hand through the dirty matted hair of his friend. 'The most you could hope for Rose is him coming back to us. He's ... _he's not right in the head anymore_.'

Her head snapped to face James, and her eyes were wide. 'W-what d'you m-m-mean?'

James buried his face in his hands. 'I think w-we were too l-late.' He stuttered; finding it so hard to stop himself from coming across weak. James was not weak. 'I-if he doesn't c-come back Rosie ... I don't know what I'll do.'

She shook her head, a noise of anger and exasperation and denial. 'You're wrong James. He has to come back. He has so much to come back for. It was the shock of seeing you guys; it was the shock of being rescued. He's in there; I know he's in there.'

'And if he's not?'

Rose growled and turned to face James, her face flushed with anger. 'He's in there James! I promise you, he's in there! Sirius never gives up easily! Just hope he is, when we wake him up, that we find him in there; why won't you hope?'

She wasn't making any sense, but James understood her. He swallowed and touched her cheek softly. 'I am hoping—'

Lily burst into the room, her beautiful face flushed as she carried a vial of a clear potion in her hands, like it was the most precious gem in the world. Her hair was tangled and tied in a knot at the base of her neck. She scratched her chin and cocked her head, signalling for James and Rose to move.

'Please God,' they could all hear her whispering. 'Please God, please let this work.' She sobbed. Then Lily jolted Sirius awake with an electric current, harmless but pretty painful. With an alarmed shout, he woke up. And it was like the shout he had shrieked when he saw James at the attic doorway.

Rose was about to run over, and she was shouting at Lily to stop, but James winded his arms around her and held her tightly. 'Shush, he's alright, hush Rosie.'

Despite this though, all the Marauders and Rose neared closer to see Sirius. Because he was awake now. Not the half awake he'd been when Lily would stir him to give a potion. He was properly awake, and he was watching all of them.

His hair had grown terribly long. Sirius loved chin length, or jaw length. But his hair was past his shoulders. He had a beard and moustache. It did not suit him as much as the clean shaven look did. His beautiful eyes were lifeless and there were dark red bags under his them. His skin was so pale it was bordering unattractive; in fact there was a greyish tinge about his skin. His expression was blank; like someone had erased all his memories and he was left with nothing.

Sirius watched all of them like he couldn't see them. He first looked at Lily who had a hand pressed on his bare, icy shoulder. Then he looked at Peter, blinked twice and moved onto Remus. For a long time, he stared at Remus and then he turned away and laughed. James was next. And the same expression he'd worn when he first saw James flickered over his face. Sirius whispered something to himself under his breath. Finally, the handsome man's eyes flickered to Rose.

He jolted. Like he couldn't believe what he was seeing; of course he couldn't believe what he was seeing, he hadn't seen the girl in almost a year.

'Rose,' his hoarse and scratchy voice whispered. She crept closer to him, until she was hovering over his body. Sirius lifted a shaky hand to poke her. 'Is she real?' he whispered to something on his shoulder.

Rose stepped back, eyes wide as saucepans. Was he talking to himself? He was talking to himself! They were all silent, watching him. He was murmuring under his breath, to someone called "Ah-maal" and another called "Aw-brie".

After minutes of watching as he had a conversation to himself, Lily touched his hand and sucked him out of reverie. Sirius looked up, and Lily brushed his hair from his face, like a doting Mother.

'Sirius, open your mouth. I'm going to give you a potion for your legs.'

He stared at Lily, as though he couldn't believe she was real. Then he shook his head. 'No, no! I don't trust you, I ... I don't _know _you!'

Lily bent down and shook her head, kissing his forehead. 'It's me, Lily, it's not Voldemort, it's Lily and I'm trying to help you.'

Sirius threw his head back and started shouting. 'YOU'RE NOT REAL! THIS IS ALL A LIE—'

Lily tipped the potion down his throat and he choked on it. She patted his back and they all sighed with relief when his eyes started drooping a little. His body began to release a glow, a very pale and translucent blue glow. The light hung around his legs for a few moments and then it dissolved in the air.

Sirius was breathing calmly and softly. 'Why are you doing this? Why're you making this _so easy_ to believe?' He wasn't speaking to anyone, more to himself in fact.

But James'd had enough. He barged them out of the way and crouched down so he was level with his best friend. 'Moons, get Harry. If he doesn't believe _we're_ real, maybe he'll think Harry is.'

'Harry?' Sirius whispered, looking up at James. 'You'll let me see him?' He touched James's face softly, as if testing whether it was an apparition or a ghost. But he was neither. Sirius opened his mouth and struggled for words. 'I — you — l-look ... _so _real.'

James took his friend's hand. 'I am real,' he told his friend. 'Of course I'm real—'

'Uncl' Paddy!' Harry squealed, running forward on his fat little legs and launching himself at his godfather. Sirius was weak and could barely lift Harry but he managed to.

'Oh _Harry_,' Sirius whispered as his godson ran fingers through his long black hair and poked his face and started squealing in joy.

'Unc' Bads,' the small boy whispered, spit flying out of his small mouth. The handsome older man started sobbing, pushing his godson away from him. It hurt too much. The toddler felt real, he looked real, heck he even smelt real.

This had to be real. This couldn't be fake. They came back for him. And looking around, Sirius knew they were in Number Seven, Godric's Hollow. If this was a trick, a staged rescue mission to trick Sirius so the secret could be taken and Voldemort was using Godric's Hollow as the hiding place for the Potters in this false rescue, then that meant the Dark Lord knew where they were hiding.

He wouldn't go to these lengths to get the secret from Sirius if he already knew where they were. He'd kill Sirius in an instant.

Then Sirius felt something on his stomach, and he looked down to see a round grey rat. _Wormtail._ Oh it had to be real! It just had too. He didn't know when his murmurs and whispers turned to sighs and tears, but someone wrapped their arms round him and held him tightly.

Rose kissed his hair. 'I'm here babe, we're all here for you.' She kissed his cheek and his head and his chin whilst he shook.

Remus helped Sirius get up the stairs and put him in the bathtub whilst Rose filled it was hot steamy water and different lotions and creams.

He hadn't actually had a shower in over two months. He smelt awful. She was gentle as she rubbed different lotions into his body, washing it off. Rose told him to tell her whenever he felt something in his legs, but they were dead. He knew it was hopeless. He could feel _nothing!_

Sirius didn't talk once, but she provided the conversation. He was still in shock. Was he really out of there? Was he really safe? Part of his mind (Amal and Aubrey) was telling him over and over that it wasn't real, that James and Lily, Remus and Peter, _Rose —_ they weren't real but fake people put there to act like his family.

Yet the way Rose spoke to him, the characteristics that she had, that were uniquely hers ... no one was so good at acting. It had to be her. And when she moved towards his head, and she rubbed shampoo into his hair lovingly, getting out all the filth and the grease, he leant up and kissed her. It was a strange kiss, because he was out of rhythm with her – the repercussions of such a long time apart.

He felt like he was still stuck in some sort of limbo. Was he really here? Kissing Rose? Kissing his girl? And where was the baby she'd supposedly had? Bellatrix must have been lying.

Sirius kissed her for a long time, as her hands combed through his hair, slid down his neck and caressed his chest and stomach. Sirius felt something down below ever so slightly respond, but he knew it'd be a long time before he could get turned on, let alone sleep with someone.

Her mouth tasted the same and it tasted different. She looked the same but she looked different. Her body was thinner, and not exactly in the way Sirius liked, though her breasts and bum were bigger now. Or maybe it was just being thinner that made those assets seem bigger? Regardless, what Sirius had loved about Rose was her controversially curvy body: her flat toned stomach and long thighs, her round bum and robust breasts. She was still petite, at least half a head smaller than him, but she was like an hourglass. Sculpted by a god himself.

To Sirius, Rose was the epitome of beauty. But unlike Lily, she wasn't always beautiful. It only really developed during her puberty. And then the summer after second year, she came back as a different person and next thing, she was snogging boys in broom cupboards.

'Oh, I've missed you,' Rose breathed against his lips and despite the very awkward position of her leaning over the tub, half-in half-out, she continued to comb her fingers through his hair. Rose started kissing his chin and his jaw and Sirius closed his eyes, thankful his face was wet. No one could see the tears if it was wet all over.

This was so surreal. Being here, and in his girlfriend's arms. It was like he really was insane, stuck in his mind's fantasies forever. But it had to be real. Because if he had gone mad then his life was over.

'What have you been up too?' Sirius asked ten minutes later in a hoarse voice whilst Rose trimmed his hair. She had always trimmed it for him, telling him only she could do it how he liked and how she liked all at the same time.

It was like nothing had changed. Only everything had changed.

She looked up startled. 'Oh, well, I was with my Mother in Australia up until the end of November, she's getting much better. When I came back after I saw your letter I stayed with Remus; he was so kind to me. He helped me a lot. I think I began to develop a crush on him—'

Sirius laughed quietly, resting his head on the edge of the bathtub. There was crying in the distance; high-pitched and very young. But Sirius didn't notice, he was too busy preoccupying himself with the fact that he had laughed. A real, solid laugh. A true laugh. Not the ones he'd chuckle to annoy Lord Voldemort, or to piss off the Death Eaters.

Rose stared at his face lovingly for a long time, and then she continued with snipping his hair. 'Then you were captured. He was worried that You-Know-Who would come after me to use as leverage, and to blackmail you. He got me here to stay safe.'

Sirius sighed in more of a content manner than an exasperated one. 'He's so brilliant.'

She nodded eagerly but then she frowned. 'I-I need to apologise to him. I was ... horrible to him when I found out he's a werewolf. _Why did you never tell me?_' The last sentence was a little accusatory. But Sirius ignored her and continued staring up at the tiled ceiling.

'Moony's still the same person. You should apologise. He saved your life.'

'Mine and our baby's,' she muttered under her breath, but luckily Sirius didn't hear. He'd zoned out again. To Amal and Aubrey.

_x _

'_You betrayed us,' whispered Amal, moving away from him and looking up with those enormous pale eyes._

'_No,' Sirius moaned, leaning towards her but she bared her teeth and growled. He shook his head. 'I'd never betray you guys—'_

'_But you did!' Aubrey snapped, appearing at his left. He snapped his head to face the ferret who glared at him. 'You believe them? You believe it's real? You believe them over me and Amal?'_

'_You don't understand—'_

'_We've always been here for you. We've been here whilst you were being hurt, whilst you were being tortured and bullied and you were losing control. What can you say for _them_?' Aubrey said the last word with such contempt, it was almost painful to hear._

_Sirius hurriedly looked away shamefaced. 'I'm sorry.' He whispered._

'_Don't count on us when you're alone or when you wake up or when they leave you. Because the next time Voldemort hurts you, we'll be cheering him _on_!'_

_And with a flash, they disappeared. _

_o_

Sirius was snapped back into reality as Rose struggled to keep him still as she finished trimming his hair. She was murmuring words like 'please baby,' and 'just stay still!'

He gasped in a raggedy breath and clutched her close to him, soaking her already wet body. 'Rose, promise me this is real, promise me?'

She looked at him, a little startled, but the old Rose coming and sinking into every fibre of her being. Because he was back, _she was back too!_ She set the scissors on the floor and took his face in her hands. 'O-of course babe, of course it's real.' And she plunged herself into a kiss. Like the previous one, it spoke the wants and needs of their bodies, but they managed to keep it back.

Rose pulled away to look into his eyes; his lifeless grey eyes. She could barely recognise him. 'We're going to have to fatten you up Sirius.'

He pressed his ear on her chest to hear her heart. It was beating a steady, constant rhythm: _ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum_.

'We're going to have to fatten you up too. I don't like skinny Rose.'

'I don't like skinny Sirius.'

He let out a choked sound, like he couldn't believe she was here, holding him. 'Oh _God_, I've missed you, so much Rosie, so much...'

She shook her head, grabbing his face and pressing a frantic kiss against his lips. 'Not as much as I've missed you. We have so much to talk about.'

Then Rose released him and picked the scissors back up again, resuming cutting the last chunk of hair as neatly and precisely as she could. Rose bathed him again, like he was a child. And she washed his hair for a second time. She shaved his moustache and his beard the way he loved it; until his skin was pale and perfect again.

Then, when she drained the tub of water and it was just him inside, Rose started to rub the bruise salve and the ointment to help fade scars. She hissed after seeing the very faint remnants of his burns on the tattoo on his back.

When she got to his legs, and he couldn't feel a thing, Rose called Lily up. Sirius didn't bother to cover his nakedness; Lily had seen him nude plenty of times. She frowned and bolted out of the room.

Sirius didn't comment. Rose helped him change into some of James's clothes and Remus came up to help bring him down. He felt like a child; being bathed and carried around the house. But he let them do it, it certainly reassured them.

The sofa was clean again, but there were still some stained and darker patches. It was covered in blankets, and food was waiting for Sirius. He wanted to object when Rose sat in his lap and started to feed him bits of chicken and potatoes.

But he let her feed him. It made them all feel better. He ate until his stomach couldn't hold any more food. And he drank like he just came out of a desert. The Marauders and the girls seemed happier when he ate the food and they tried to start conversation, but Sirius didn't respond. Rose ripped a piece of chicken off the bone for him and brought it to his lips, where he ate it and licked her fingers clean, sucking each of the digits absentmindedly whilst the others spoke in hushed tones.

He still felt like he was in a sort of limbo; stuck between two worlds. And his mark had been silent. Oh, it was still white on his forearm, but it was camouflaged so well Rose hadn't noticed it when she washed him. She'd been too preoccupied with trying not to hurt him.

She started kissing his jaw and his neck again, but he ignored her, trying as hard as he could to tune in to what Voldemort was doing. How would he feel? The bolt of pain Sirius had felt during his slumber had definitely been Lord Voldemort; he had even heard the man screaming in insatiable anger. But now the mark was silent. His Dark Mark was not moving one single bit.

And he was scared. So scared that Voldemort was planning something and he wouldn't be able to get insight. Or maybe Sirius was just too tired to tune in to Lord Voldemort's mind?

When he looked up, he saw that Lily, James, Remus and Peter were all still whispering to each other. It was Remus who saw Sirius watching them first, and his silence made the others turn to Sirius. He watched them cautiously, with a bitter expression on his disbelieving face.

Were they talking about him? Acting like he wasn't there. The house was suddenly very still and silent as Sirius regarded them with a calculating stare.

'By all means,' he said in a hoarse and disused voice, 'don't stop on my account.'

'Sirius,' James moaned, shaking his head, 'you didn't hear what we were talking about—'

'How you think I've gone crazy? How you think that I'll never be the same again? That I won't get my mind back or my legs! I don't need to hear you guys to know what you were saying!' his throat felt bloody and raw and he had to stop talking before the pain overwhelmed him.

'We didn't say exactly that Padfoot—'

'Well what did you say?' he snapped, looking each of them in the eye with a livid expression. 'What could you have possibly been talking about other than how you're friend's gone mad. Everyone use to say it. My Mother used to always say that I had the infamous Black Madness as bad as any of the others, and pretending not to have it didn't mean I was sane, it made me even more _insane_. She said me and Bella were the worst.'

'And you think we care if you've gone mad?' James hissed back just as harshly. His lip was trembling and he looked more than angry. 'Y-you haven't even thanked us, o-or given us a hug. Or told us how much y-you missed us. And we've missed you Pads, _I've _missed you.'

Sirius swallowed, turning his face away swiftly. 'What if he finds me again. I don't want to get my hopes up.'

'Hopes for what? We're here Sirius! What will it take for you to believe that we're here, we're all truly here? I'm here for you mate, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm ... we're not going anywhere. We're not going to leave you alone again to battle a dozen Death Eaters. All we want is to help you and keep you safe. We want to protect you mate.'

Sirius bit his quivering lip and looked down at Rose, who was in his arms, very still and watching the others with caution.

Slowly, he turned to face James, whose expression mirrored his own. 'You don't know what it was like in there. Things aren't going to shoot back like they used to be. The things _I've _done, almost done...'

'Uncl' Paddy!' Harry howled, with dirt all over his clothes. He was about to jump onto his godfather when Lily caught him around the waist and chided him.

'No Harry, your uncle has just gotten cleaned up. We can't have you dirtying him up again, can we? Hmm. Good boy. How good does Uncle Paddy look?'

'Gud,' Harry spat everywhere, giggling when a particularly large bubble hit his daddy's face.

'Good? Yeah, he does.'

With the absence of his moustache and beard and with some clothes on to cover the hideous scars and bruises marring him body Sirius looked better. His hair was chin length again and his skin was a little more flushed, but still deadly pale.

'Pads,' Remus's voice was quiet, and it had taken on the tone of Librarian Moony. 'Would you like to hear what we were talking about?'

Sirius nodded after a moment.

'I can't do it!' Lily burst out, tears falling down her eyes rather abruptly. Sirius raised an eyebrow in surprise. Why was she crying? 'I can't heal you Sirius. None of the potions are working. _None _of them. And I've brewed seven. Two of which weren't even for restoring the use of body parts of bringing feeling back. I'm so sorry—'

'It's alright Lily. I don't blame you.' It sounded weird coming out of his mouth, but she was a slobbering mess and it was upsetting him. It was _annoying _him. 'So I'll never be normal again, so I'll never be back to my original state, it's the price to—'

But he was cut off by Lily's gasp. She stood up very quickly, chewing her lip apprehensively and mentally figuring something out. She started nodding to herself, oblivious to the audience she was getting. And then the redhead grinned.

'You're a genius Sirius!'

He looked at her, confused. 'What? What did I do?'

'We need to put you back in your original state. Before you were starved and tortured.'

Remus clapped his hands together once, nodding with Lily. 'The Archetypus Brew. But it takes ages to make Lils, and the ingredients are rare and—'

'I know,' she moaned, burying her face for a short while in her hands, 'I know. We don't have half the ingredients. We need to go get them.'

James's face dropped. 'You mean back out there? Lily we can't leave the house. Not with Voldemort's lot looking for us. We illegally _apparated. _What part of that don't you understand?'

'But there's always a lag on Tracing Spells. It'll take them a while before they can pin point where we are. And we're protected by the Fidelius Charm. So they'll be taken here, to Godric's. But they could look anywhere and everywhere and they still will not be able to find us.'

James stood up and looked down at Lily. 'You can't come then —'

'Shut up James. I'm coming whether you like it or not. You think I wanted you going out there to get Padfoot? You think I enjoyed it? You can come if you want, I don't care, but no way in hell are you telling me I can't go.'

They all watched the married couple in anticipation, since their relationship was rocky and unstable as fuck – and tended to explode into arguments.

'If you're going then I definitely am.' He said finally, shooting her a scowl.

'It's all sorted then,' Lily said cheerfully, tying her hair up once again and picking Harry off the floor. 'Don't you look nasty and dirty Harry? Aren't you making a big mess everywhere? Come on, bath.'

The boy grinned; he loved baths. And together, him and Lily set off upstairs. There was distant crying, and Rose sent a pleading look to James, who grumbled and got up.

'Need to check what Harry wants,' he explained hastily before bounding out of the room and up the stairs. With a sigh, Rose turned to look at Remus. They watched each other for a bit, and then Rose shyly smiled at him, resuming combing her fingers through the silent Sirius's hair.

'There's a letter for you Paddy,' Remus said after a while, stretching out on the sofa to cover all of it, and nudge Peter to the end, who laughed and pinched him.

Sirius snapped out of his trance and looked up at his friend. 'What did you say Moony?'

Remus watched him for a while, smiling. 'It's so good to have you back.'

'It's ... it's good to be back?' it was more of a question than a statement and left them both quizzically watching each other.

'I said,' Remus resumed, 'you have a letter from Professor Dumbledore. There's some other stuff in it, about your brother I think. You can read it later.'

Sirius's head snapped up and he suddenly remembered breaking free of the chains and launching at Malfoy. He laughed for minutes, tears falling down his eyes as he shook with amusement. He had never seen Malfoy or Narcissa or in fact any Death Eater look so scared as he started growling, breaking free from the chains like a rabid beast.

'What's funny?' asked Rose, looking up at Sirius as she finished off the chicken for him, licking her lips.

He was sucked back down from cloud nine and impatiently smiled at them. 'I was just remembering when I broke free from my chains. Malfoy had been taunting me about Regulus, and I somehow managed to rip the chains off the wall and launch myself on him. I broke my arms doing it, but Lord Voldemort healed them for me.'

'What was it like?' whispered Rose, looking up at him, her forehead brushing his chin.

Sirius shook his head and closed his eyes, the trembles starting again. Never did he want to think of those two months stolen from him. He wanted to stay here, where it was real, where _they_ were real.

'I don't want to talk about it,' he breathed. 'Never.'

Remus stood up and signalled for Rose to move out of Sirius's lap. She did. He took his time making his way to his friend. And then he knelt down and wrapped his arms around his friend. Sirius, after a moment of hesitation, did the same. They hugged for a long time, until James came back in the room and sat down.

No words were exchanged. And when Remus let go of Sirius he felt a lot better. Rose stayed by his side, holding his hand and they all waited patiently for Lily, giving Sirius time to think. It was adorable really, the way he clutched his hair when his thoughts grew too muddled.

His stomach was hurting a lot too, having indulged himself in such an amazing feast. Lily finally came down, bringing a clean and damp Harry, who leapt into Sirius's lap and started playing with his godfather's hair and leaving slobbery kisses on his cheek and his lips.

Sirius felt like he'd burst with happiness as the truth of reality sunk in. He was here, _he was here!_ Lily cleared her throat, sucking him back from that zone that kept bringing him back in.

'We were just talking about what we're going to do Sirius.' Lily explained hesitantly, watching the godfather and godson wearily.

The handsome man nodded, nuzzling his godson's neck. 'What's that going to be?'

'We'll leave you and Taten and Harry here. The rest of us will go out and get the ingredients for the potion—'

Sirius looked up and shook his head angrily. 'Absolutely not. I didn't go through two months of torture to have you two throw away your lives! I'm angry enough as it is that Prongs went and got me from the Malfoy Manor. I don't want you doing it again.'

James cocked an eyebrow up. 'Well Padfoot, it's not like you're in a position to stop us.'

Sirius bared his teeth angrily. 'It's not practical! There could be Death Eaters waiting for you outside! You apparated! You know that's illegal, and you'll be in so much danger for doing it. For the Death Eaters and Voldemort, catching you would be like shooting fish in a barrel.'

'But us fish have Invisibility Cloaks, Animagus forms, and of course the element of surprise. So they traced us back to Godric's Hollow. It's a decent sized town, we could be anywhere.'

Sirius shook his head. 'I can't have you risking your life for me James. _Please._' His voice broke on the last word and he felt his eyes sting.

'The way I've let you risk your life for me? We're gonna go without your permission.'

Sirius frowned at the bespectacled man but his body sagged with the understanding that they really would go with or without his blessing. He decided to lighten the mood. 'And you're really going to trust Rose with a baby?' he asked.

All the heads turned and snapped at him so fast Sirius was startled. What? Wasn't what he said funny? Maybe his definition of funny was now different to theirs. After all, two months with a sadistic power-hungry wizard and his followers really changed Sirius's definition of what was amusing.

'W-what d'you m-mean?' Rose stuttered in a strained and slightly worried voice.

Sirius smiled a small smile. 'I just meant that you aren't good with children and I can't move, so who'll take care of Harry?'

Rose sighed, but not a sigh of amusement, rather, a sigh of relief. 'I'm better than you think. James and Evans have been showing me a lot of stuff.'

'I'm a _Potter_ now Taten.' Lily said in a way that suggested she'd repeated those five words more than once.

'You'll always be Evans to me.'

With a jolt, Sirius realised that though they didn't like each other, there was now new emotions in their relationship – respect and understanding. Both of them had surely been through something that had changed the way they perceived one another.

'I can't believe you guys are real.' Sirius whispered, reaching out to touch each one of them briefly. 'Even you Peter.'

'You wouldn't believe all the brave things he's done for you,' Remus said proudly; like a parent talking about their child.

'I never gave up on you Peter,' his voice croaked. 'Never.' Sirius remembered the brave face of Peter amongst the other befuddled memories of the rescue. He also remembered werewolves and vampires; surely they weren't a figment of his imagination. 'Were there really vampires and werewolves?'

James grinned. 'Remus has got himself a new vampire-girl.'

Remus scowled at the bespectacled Marauder. 'He's jealous she likes me, but I don't think I'm all too interested. Sure, it felt nice when she sucked my—'

Sirius exploded in peels of laughter, the hardest he had laughed in so long. His stomach hurt and there were tears of mirth falling down his eyes, and his body was trembling. It felt so good.

'Oh, I've missed you guys,' he said after a moment of breathless wheezing. And when he opened his eyes, James was standing right before him with a fond smile and a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

'I missed you too.' He said, wrapping his arms around his friend and kissing his hair.

'Blood,' Remus whispered angrily, 'I was going to say she sucked my blood.'

'Of course you were,' James called over his shoulder.

It really did feel good, Sirius thought, as his _brother_ held him like a Father held their son. It felt so good to be home.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Thanks for all the reviews I got last chapter. This is out much quicker than it was supposed to be, but I couldn't sleep and wrote most of this during my insomnia. Surprisingly, I'm quite happy with this. I should try writing at night more often :)_

_Oh, and please forgive me for the sappiness of this chapter!_

_Cheers!_

_xo_


	32. I Know I've Been Gone

_Disclaimer; I don't own anything but the plot, OCs, some potions and some spells. _

_A/N: First of all, I'd like to say that I was watching Tangled just the other day, the Disney film. And Rapunzel looks a lot like how Rose Taten in this story looks like; although she has much longer hair but essentially Rose has long blonde hair and pale green eyes. Also, Flynn Rider in Tangled looks a lot like the Sirius I imagine in my head whenever I'm writing. Just some interesting facts about how I think the characters look! And if you're having trouble picturing Rose, picture Rapunzel from Tangled! :D_

_I recommend listening to the song below, since my iPod was on shuffle when I was writing this update and for some strange reason it made me change the whole chapter (apart from the necessary parts for the plot). It's an amazing song, so you should listen to it! Thanks, I hope you enjoy :)_

_Leave a review!_

* * *

><p><em>xoxo <em>

_I know I been gone, I know it's been so long,__  
><em>_And girl I hope you miss me,__  
><em>_Cos' you know I been missin' you baby,__  
><em>_Missin' my baby._

_~ Ready, Frank Ocean._

_32. I Know I've Been Gone_

Sirius was jolted into reality when he felt the sharpest pain. A whimper slipped out his mouth and he started gasping for breath. Lord Voldemort had pressed the Dark Mark, he was trying to lure Sirius back "home". Back to his prison. His dreams had been plagued with Voldemort, leering and smiling at him whilst he tugged Sirius's leash and led him to the manor on all fours. But now Sirius knew what was going on with the Dark Lord's side, he'd had a flash of inside his mind.

Not only was the wizard trying to find Sirius, almost as hard as he was trying to find Harry, but he also wanted to get a diadem, Ravenclaw's diadem? There was also something about a horcrux, but Sirius didn't know exactly what a horcrux was. He'd try and find out soon though, it couldn't be anything good.

But Sirius was distracted from his thoughts when he heard crying; shrill crying. In the distance there was begging and pleading for the baby (Harry?) to stop crying. He was probably crying because just the night before, both his parents and the rest of the Marauders had gone to get Sirius's potion ingredients.

It had been awkward, saying goodbye. He had been in this mood, this depressing and cold mood that shifted over his like a cloud covering the sun. By the time they had left, the cloud had left too but it was too late to call them and apologise for being rude. Because Sirius had been _very_ rude. To him they still seemed a little like aliens. They way Lily had kissed his cheek, so familiar and yet so different. He'd pushed her away from him. He would apologise for that when she came home.

And James. It was painful to watch James watching him. Those hazel eyes would stay on him, scrutinising every movement and every whispered word. James hadn't even touched or hugged Sirius, instead smiling bitterly before leaving the room.

They said it should take no more then six or seven hours. It had already been a whole night. Sirius for some strange reason wasn't very worried. In fact he had sighed with relief when they had gone. There was no one to watch him suspiciously or to run around getting him unnecessary things. It was just him and Harry. Harry and him.

And Rose.

Sirius was weary about Rose. There was something off about the way she'd try and cuddle next to him, or the kisses she'd give him that spoke of the guilt she was feeling. Why was she guilty? She'd probably cheated on him. But it wasn't called cheating if they weren't together.

The screams continued and he could hear Rose singing, trying to put Harry to sleep. But the boy was up, it was useless.

'Rose!' he called. After a few minutes of impatient waiting on Sirius's part, she came hurrying into the room with red tired eyes and messy hair arranged in a bun.

'Bring him to me. I can cheer him up.'

_Oh Harry! If there was anyone he loved more than James and Remus and Rose and Peter it was Harry, his godson._ The boy who had shown him that he did want a family, not during the war, but after. The boy who had brought him back to sanity only yesterday.

Rose's bloodshot eyes widened. 'What?'

'Harry doesn't know you properly; he doesn't like you much too. Bring him to me, I'll cheer him up. He'll stop crying if he sees me.'

She bit her lip and nodded, coming back into the room after five minutes with Harry in her arms. He looked very tired and his emerald eyes were half-open.

When he saw his godfather however, his whole demeanour changed. The small boy was grinning, saliva and dribble coating his mouth. He opened his arms and leapt onto Sirius's legs, who felt nothing and just smiled.

'Uncl' Pad,' Harry squealed, pressing sloppy wet kisses on Sirius's cheek and mouth and eyes. He smiled down at his godson.

'Why're you crying Harry? Hasn't Aunt Rose been taking care of you? She's trying very hard. And Lils and Dog will be back soon. Keep quiet for her, 'kay?'

'O-gay,' Harry nodded. And when Rose brought into the room some chocolate the boy was besides himself, hopping off his godfather and running to her full speed and holding out his arm, giggling when some chocolate was pressed into his hand. It melted very quickly and after shouting down at his hand for a while, Harry licked it all off, holding out his sticky hand coated in saliva once more to Rose.

Rose grinned. 'Remember that time in your dorm, when we had sex for the first time, for _my_ first time. And it started when the chocolate had melted in your hand and I licked it all off.'

Sirius closed his eyes, his mind trying as hard as it could to remember. But he had trouble remembering. At least, since Harry had brought him back to sanity, he was finding it hard to remember things from a while ago when there were so many things clogging up his mind.

He didn't know whether the memories were real or not. He wasn't sure he remembered what she was talking about but he did remember getting drunk before they'd slept together, and he did remember the enormous fight with James afterwards.

He remembered when his friend hadn't spoken to him for a month and Remus had run back and forth to try and sort out the mess between them.

Rose frowned deeply, pressing more chocolate into the small boy's hand and coming closer to Sirius until she was sitting besides him. Well he wasn't sitting; he was lying on the sofa, looking down at his legs with dissatisfaction.

She lifted his face in her palm and frowned deeply. In the distance there was more crying, it couldn't be Harry because the small boy was dancing and eating his chocolate happily. But Sirius wasn't sure whether the crying he could hear was even real.

He closed his eyes as a tear fell down his face. Why couldn't he remember?

'You don't remember?' His girlfriend breathed, wiping his tear with her lips. She tilted his face until his eyes were boring into her own. She felt tears of her own fall. 'You don't remember our first time together? You always used to retell it. You said it was your favourite story.'

Sirius pinched his eyes shut as hard as he could and then whimpered. 'N-Not clearly,' he breathed after a moment.

She took his face in her hands and kissed him tenderly, her lips moulding into his own as they both settled back into that distant routine. It had been about ten months since they had last seen each other and since then they'd both been so alone.

Maybe for Sirius not physically alone; he could seduce a girl in five minutes and get her in his bed naked within the hour. But that didn't mean he didn't feel alone. He felt _so_ alone. Now though, now, with Rose's hands holding his face as she nipped his lips and wrapped her tongue around his own, it felt like nothing had changed.

She moved closer to him, and before he knew it she was in his lap, her weight nonexistent on his dead legs. She was rubbing against him and kissing his jaw and his neck. Sirius didn't know what to do.

He didn't know if he could bring himself to get turned on. But the taste of her and the smell that filled his nose brought back so many memories, he broke away gasping for air. The memories had just been restricted in the back of his mind but everything about her, even the sound of her laboured breathing brought them back with jolts. The same way seeing James had brought back strong memories yesterday night.

Oh, only now did Sirius fully comprehend what they had all meant when they said he had lost it. He felt so much more different as he wound his hands around her neck whilst she continued stroking the soft skin of his lower back. Rose wrapped her legs around his torso and started unbuttoning his shirt but Sirius broke away from her.

'I _can't_.' He whispered. 'I don't think I could bring myself to...' he stopped speaking because there it was – that shrill crying again. And though Harry wasn't in the room anymore, Sirius wasn't sure if it was his godson.

Rose dropped her hands and shuffled off him, falling to the floor on her backside hard. She looked scared for a second, her eyes flicking towards the door and back to Sirius's face. 'O-Okay,' she breathed, jumping up and hurrying out of the room.

He watched after her, his heart thudding hard. Sirius hastily buttoned the two Rose had managed to undo and he looked out of the window longingly. He had yet to feel the grass under his feet.

When the other's came back with the potion ingredients, when feeling came back in his legs, he'd finally be able to, for the first time in over two months, feel the grass under his feet.

And that was a promise.

_xo _

It was a wave of heat that hit them. Not the explosion Remus thought it might've been. It certainly sounded like one. He covered Lily's body with his own, as James was too far away to do this. They fell with a cry as the heat continued throwing them back. The street was filled with screams from wizards and witches and Muggles.

They were in a high street in Manchester, where some of the best apothecaries were. Obviously they hadn't thought this plan through. The Death Eaters had traced them. And their disguises had failed! The Polyjuice Potion they had drunk must have started to wear off, seeing as they'd spent so long in the apothecary trying to find their ingredients.

There was laughing from off in the distance, and there was also duelling. Remus could make out James, shouting taunts and spells as he fought with the Death Eaters. Scuttling besides Remus was a rat who transformed into a human, into Peter.

Peter ran off to help James, who was trapped by the few Death Eaters there were, waiting to sabotage and capture him. This couldn't be happening! Dammit! And they had just gotten most of the potion ingredients as well.

'EXPELLIARMUS!' a voice bellowed: James's voice. They could hear physical fighting as one of the Death Eaters howled with pain when James kicked his balls.

'PETRIFICUS—' an unfamiliar voice howled but it was cut off by a sharper spell from Peter, an unrecognisable one that caused the victim to cry and sob in pain. So the Death Eaters were aiming to capture, not kill. It made sense, none of the spells were Killing Curses. They could use this to their advantage.

Remus continued to cover Lily's smaller body with his own as rock pelted down on them. He could hear her whimpering from under him and he hissed when particularly large pieces rained down harder on his back and legs.

'It's okay Lily,' Remus breathed breathlessly on the back of her neck whilst the fight continued.

'GO! MOONY GO!' James was screaming from far off. And then they heard him grunt with pain and start shouting spells harder and faster than before.

Remus didn't need to be told twice; James and Peter were good fighters, the former more than the latter, but regardless, they could take a few Death Eaters. He wrapped his arms around Lily who was clutching the small bag she held tighter than ever, and he disapparated, flooding the street they were in with a sharp crack.

But they weren't apparating to Godric's Hollow. They still had two ingredients to get; the rarest ingredients of them all: A vial (at least seven millilitres) of unicorn tears and stardust. Oh crap.

_xo_

Rose held the spoon to his lips but he tried to shake her off, sinking into a depression. It was his third depression since he'd gotten here; where he couldn't talk or think of anything but the guilt he felt at having almost betrayed the Potters.

Sirius's stormy eyes remained dark and cold, and he looked at his girlfriend from beneath that fringe of black silky hair. He couldn't meet her eyes however when she turned from the window to try and press the spoon into his mouth.

It was chicken soup. And it smelt so good. But despite the liquid saliva in his mouth, Sirius couldn't bring himself to part his lips and eat the soup. With an aggravated sigh, Rose put down the bowl of soup and looked at her boyfriend. Then a question struck her, were they even still boyfriend and girlfriend?

And even if they were when he found out about Sirius James it would be over. He'd break it off with her, maybe he might even swear at her. But Rose realised after a moment that she didn't even know what he _would_ do. Dammit! He was such an impulsive, reckless bastard!

For a frightening second, Rose imagined him hitting her. He'd hit her before. Well it wasn't really a hit but they'd gotten in an enormous fight and she'd been throwing plates at him and swearing and cursing until he ran up to her, pressed her hard against the wall with one hand holding both her wrists and another wrapped around her throat.

'Tell me,' Sirius had said, 'why I shouldn't snap your neck right now?'

Rose had been trembling in his arms (was she even really in his arms?) and her breathing was laboured. She panted and after a second whispered, 'You love me.'

'Fuck, do I?' he had replied, slamming her wrists against the wall hard. Rose hissed in pain as he turned her around, pressing the front of her body flush against the wall. He pressed his face into the side of her neck, feeling her pulse under his lips.

'You do. You love me _so _much it hurts you the way it hurts me.'

'Then why did I cheat on you?' Sirius had replied.

Rose shuddered under his touch as his lips continued brushing the side of her neck. He paused for a second to suck on her skin.

'Don't flatter yourself, you didn't have sex with her. You kissed her. Besides, she's the only woman you've ever loved apart from me. So in return Seers, I want to kiss one of my exes.'

He had released her harshly, stepping away to scrutinise her. When she turned to face him with her puffy red eyes and her trembling body, her eyes revealed just how serious she really was.

He laughed shortly and shrugged. 'You aren't joking are you? Fuck. Fine, but I want to be there then. I want to watch you kiss him.'

Rose had shrugged, barging past him and massaging her neck. 'You've hurt me now. I'm going to have to take a long bath and try forgetting how rough you've been.'

'I'm sorry baby.' He sounded anything but sorry.

'It's alright.' She sounded anything but accepting.

This was probably an example of just how wild and explosive and destructive they were. They suited in all the right ways, all the sweet and adorable ways but they were so bad for each other at the same time. Especially when emotions were running high.

In anger, Rose would hit Sirius who would hit her back. In lust they would fuck like bunnies till morning, regardless of if they were staying with the Potters (which had happened before). And in their high (whether it was just weed or ecstasy or cocaine) all those emotions would be amplified. Most of their physical fights had been born after taking drugs. The best sex they had ever had was after taking drugs.

Rose snapped out of her reverie when she heard Sirius talking quietly under his breath. He was talking to _her_, Rose realised when he muttered her name.

'... never forgive me. But you _have _to forgive me, promise me you won't think wrong of me Rosie? Promise me?' Sirius breathed, putting his hand over her own which lay limply on his chest.

'I would never think wrong of you.' Rose whispered after a startled second of watching him.

Sirius closed his eyes and held her hand tight. 'T-There was this moment. Where Voldemort ... He asked me where they were. _It hurt so bad Rose._ The pain, the _pain!_' Sirius was quiet for a moment, and with a startled gasp Rose saw his tears, falling rapidly down his face.

She put a hand under his chin and lifted his head until they were looking into each other's eyes. She gave him a soft and loving kiss. Sirius sighed in relief, the courage she gave him flooding through his body.

'I was delirious. I was half out of my mind ... More than once, I almost revealed them. But then he gave me this potion. And all these memories, these horrible memories ... Rosie I said the first letter of where they were. If it wasn't for this one thought – stronger than anything ... Of Harry and Lily and _Prongs_ then...'

Rose shook her head. 'You would never do something like that to them, maybe at the time it felt like you would but...'

He shook his head, his slightly limp hair bouncing around his face. 'No, _no,_ you don't understand! I almost killed them, I could have killed them. The pain ... Rosie, I couldn't think or feel anything! I wanted to die, I asked him to let me die, I _begged _him.'

Her eyes widened and her heart thudded even more. If she had come back, if she had stayed and told him about the baby then he would never have gone through this. And she'd forever be ashamed. The guilt she was feeling settled into her, and Rose found herself crying with him.

He opened his arms, something that was almost instinctive but when she tucked herself inside his arms, Sirius suddenly felt nauseous.

'You wouldn't have betrayed them,' Rose hiccupped after a long silence, where they could hear nothing but the distant crying that Sirius was starting to believe wasn't even real.

'I tried to regain some of my pride, some of my courage...'

She tried to kiss him but he moved so her lips brushed his chin. Sirius didn't feel ready for how lovey-dovey they were acting. If he started to sink into this world, the real world then he'd forget all he had done in that far off, painful attic of the Malfoy Manor.

And he couldn't forget, because that was the place that had truly brought out the worst in Sirius. The place that had changed him forever.

Whether or not the old Sirius came back, this one would stay with him. A ghost of the past. A ghost here to haunt him and remind him of all the things he had done or almost done.

Like almost betraying his family. His brother, his sister and the little godson of his that was everything he imagined a son to be like.

Sirius suddenly didn't feel like talking, but his girl (was she still _his_ girl?) urged him on, and the feel of her breath on the side of his face was so ancient and familiar and comforting.

'I'd do anything to annoy them. And when they realised that I was too ... proud to scream and beg, they resorted to darker things. Only for Voldemort would I scream. For the rest ... I fought back. You know Dolohov? I broke his neck – or at least I think I did. But he's still alive. Unless he was killed in the rescue. And Malfoy? He made _my life _hell. He'd say things about Reg ... things that got me so angry, things that made me want to cry.

'Bellatrix was the worst though. She said things about all of you, especially you.' Sirius broke off with a sharp laugh. He threw his head back, his hair covering his face as he let out barks of amusement. 'She told me you had a baby and it wasn't mine. I believed her. Up until Harry ... Harry _revived _me, I expected to see you with a baby. To meet your baby. I spent so long thinking of how beautiful he would be with you as a Mother. You weren't very pretty when you were a child but when you were a baby – those pictures your mum showed me ... you looked so beautiful. I remember wishing he had your golden hair, the most beautiful hair in the world. And I remember wishing he would have eyes like your own. Not in colour or shape but in the way they so powerfully show the emotions behind and the thoughts within.'

Rose stifled a sob and shakily ran her hand over his face. 'I'd only _ever _have a baby with you. Even if I was knocked up with some man's baby ... I don't think I could keep it. I'd abort it maybe. Or give it up for adoption.'

Sirius shook his head and kindly detached her hand from his face. He felt the familiar signs of the depression sinking in; he felt his body seize up and his head get heavier. Almost as if on instinct he wrapped his arms around his torso and bit down hard on his lips.

If Rose ever had his child...

_xo _

Never had Severus seen a fury like the Dark Lord's. But what was worse potentially could have been watching him kill mercilessly. He slaughtered three terribly injured Death Eaters who had stood by as Sirius was rescued because they were too in pain.

Severus had been there when Dumbledore had been taken from his room and told. The thrill and happiness that had flickered across his face was something Severus knew he wasn't going to forget any time soon.

Emmett Avery had also felt the Dark Lord's wrath when he made a suggestion of Tracing Spells; he had felt that Cruciatus burn through his veins the same way Black had felt it every day. Lord Voldemort had blown up the whole Malfoy Manor, almost killing little Draco and his Mother alongside a few other new recruits (who had been busy with initiation ceremonies with other Death Eaters).

Lord Voldemort had also, much to Severus's displeasure, tortured him for drawing the Dark Lord away from the manor during the rescue. It had been pain that Severus never wished to feel again. There really had been a revolt amongst the teachers and some of the students though, thanks to spiking the Teacher's Table at breakfast.

The potion had let out all of the teachers, and to an extent some of the pupils' inhibitions. Severus had made sure to also add some passion striking effectors in there too.

But the Dark Lord had forgiven him when he had retired the Cruciatus Curse, after all how was Severus to know Black would be rescued?

Dumbledore was a clever man. Even inside the most foolproof and powerful jail had he still managed to stage a rescue from within his own private cell. There were few things that surprised and interested Severus, and this was definitely one of them.

But what was going to happen now? The Tracing Spells which were being cast every few minutes by all the Death Eaters had picked up activity up in Manchester. It had been over an hour and something had surely happened.

Severus had left Hogwarts in Barty's ruling as he came down to help Lord Voldemort in anyway he could. He didn't know what his Lord would want from him though. All he knew was that whatever the others had picked up from Manchester, the Potters and Black were in danger.

Lily Evans was in danger. Black deserved all the pain he had gotten, and maybe getting a few fingers and toes amputated. But he did not deserve the burden of knowing he was the reason the Potters (Lily mainly) died.

And she in turn did not deserve to die at the hands of Lord Voldemort, but instead at the hands of time and age only. For she was so beautiful and so special to Severus, he wasn't sure what he'd do if she was taken from him by death. Maybe he would kill himself. Or maybe he would kill Black before Voldemort could.

But Severus knew he would not be able to go on living. He had always hated declarations of love. But that was because he could not see it, not clearly until after she was out of his reach. Not until after that one word slipped out his mouth in fifth year. And since then she hadn't uttered one word to him.

Lord Voldemort was searching though; he would never stop searching. Not until the one threat, Harry Potter, was defeated and gone and out of the way. Until then, Lord Voldemort, the greatest wizard of all time, would not rest a wink of sleep.

And Snape. Severus Snape. He would not rest until Lord Voldemort was dead or Harry Potter. Whichever came first, and whichever left Lily Evans alive and well and _safe_. But until then he had to do whatever Voldemort wanted him to do. Which included researching as much as possible about the Ravenclaw diadem.

_xo _

Sirius awoke with a sharp pain in his torso. His eyes met those of pale green and with a jolt he realised that Rose was changing his dressings and applying some more ointment to the wounds and bruises on his chest.

He watched her through hooded eyes and when she smiled at him he smiled back. It was gone. That shadow that crept up upon him had flooded with light and been scared away for now. But until the darkness banished the light, Sirius realised he needed to enjoy the small taste of sanity he had in his grasp right now.

He leaned forward and met Rose's large delectable scarlet lips with his own, and in a haze of passion, he slipped his hands beneath her top. But there was a cry, distant and hollering that claimed their attention.

Sirius moved away from her as best he could seeing as he couldn't feel his legs, and turned away from her as she hurried out of the room to see what Harry wanted. Sirius suddenly longed for the Marauders, who wouldn't claim his attention with kisses and hugs and memories but help him forget all the hurt that possessed him.

Right now what Sirius longed for most was Harry and James and Remus. He was still a little weary about Peter but the brave things he'd been told about the young man made his heart burst with pride.

'Tell me,' Sirius croaked when Rose came back in the room after a while to finish bandaging his wounds, 'what they did. Tell me how they saved me.'

Rose breathed in deeply as she recounted the story of his rescue. 'Remus had gotten back from Dumbledore's rescue mission. He had blood all over his body and blood on his face and around his mouth. But he was barely injured; he'd killed so many people. James and Lily healed him and then Remus got out some letters, addressed to himself and James. The letters were from Dumbledore, telling them of a second plan, a better plan. A plan to get _you._

'Dumbledore recommended that they use Peter who knows his way around and could get through the barrier that deflected Remus when he tried to save you. He also told them they should get the allegiance of magical creatures, which they did; they spent a few weeks gathering werewolves and vampires and even managed to trick a forest troll into working with them.

'The plan worked; when they came home they brought you. Jamie said the battle was terrible; the Death Eaters had been massacred. The werewolves were savage, looking for a chance to spit back in You-Know-Who's face. He had tried to trick the pack leader. The vampires were ravenous; they were looking for revenge after some of their allies had been slaughtered a while back. And the troll just wanted rats; they're obsessed with rats. As long as Peter played with it and James constantly transfigured nearby things into rats then the troll was cooperative and happy.'

Rose panted for a second as she scratched her head, trying to remember anything she might have forgotten. But then she turned to Sirius.

He however had his eyes closed and was biting his plump bottom lip. His brow was furrowed and he was thinking incredibly hard.

'I-It's all ... it's all blurry. But I _remember_ ... there were screams – such loud screams. There were growls and Death Eaters being thrown around. It was _horrible_.'

'They deserved it.' Rose said shortly, looking at his defeated and not-as-beautiful-as-he-once-was boyfriend. 'Look what they did to you Seers. They deserved every second of all that pain. After everything they've done to you, to those vampires, those werewolves! They deserved to feel such pain and they deserve to feel so much more.'

'If,' Sirius whispered, 'we begin to think like them, then we are no better.'

The silence stretched for a long time. Rose was watching him hungrily, taking in his dangerously pale face. She watched his legs, dead and still. She watched his eyes and his mouth and his throat.

Sirius in turn tried to work out how he would ever, how he _could_ ever pay his friends back. Time after time they were here for him, here to save and protect him. And it shocked Sirius. After all he had done to James and to Remus and, to a smaller extent, even Peter.

Why had Peter come back to help him? After Sirius had beaten the _fuck_ out of him, given him a heck load of money and told him to never return?

And Remus. Remus who he kept letting down, who he kept hurting. Had Remus really killed for him? Remus, who was incredibly altruistic, and philanthropic, and who hated taking any life, even a wasp's. He'd turned Remus into a killer?

Worst of all, what about James? Who time after time forgave him? When Sirius slept with Rose and took her virginity merely an hour after her and his best friend broke up, Sirius was eventually forgiven. When he told Snape about where Remus transformed and almost got the stupid, sneaky Slytherin killed, what had James done?

He had run off to try and save Snape. Not because he liked Snape, on the contrary he hated the slimy man. But he did it because he didn't want Remus's life to end; which it inevitably would, had the werewolf bitten or killed Snape. He had also done it (admitting a year after the incident) because he didn't want Sirius to become like his family and he didn't want Sirius to be seen by everyone else as a murderer, as a _true _Black.

Because James loved Remus and Sirius so much.

And when they had been on an Order mission, battling vigorously with dozens of Death Eaters, and Sirius had been engaged in a frantic battle with three Death Eaters, Gibbon had sent the Cruciatus Curse at Sirius from behind, who couldn't see. But James had seen and launched himself in front of his friend, his scream echoing through the warehouse. In the end it was Lily who managed to defeat Gibbon and force him to flee.

But Sirius didn't care about that; he cared about how his friend, after everything wrong he had done to him, still came in to save him. It was partially why he had, at first, volunteered to be secret keeper. It was a small way of redeeming himself; of trying (and failing) to level the scoreboard with James.

What had Sirius ever done to get such friends? He didn't know. But he did know that from now on his life didn't matter, his life was too _trivial_ compared to the others. James had a family, and Remus had the potential to settle down and marry, something Sirius wanted but was too scared to do. And Peter? Well the boy had redeemed himself! He deserved to live life without worrying about Lord Voldemort coming after him.

He needed to defeat Lord Voldemort. He had a Dark Mark, a special one. He was stronger than the Dark Lord knew. He could do this, right? He could at least try.

'I did all of this for them you know,' Sirius said after a long silence. 'Not only for the Potters but for Remy and Pete too. They deserve it. And Harry? Well he's like my son; he _is _my son in every sense of the word. Sometimes ... the way Voldemort would talk about him – it got me so ... _so angry!_ I'd beg him to stop and when he wouldn't ... I'd do something to warrant being tortured, being hurt, anything to stop him from talking about Harry like that.

'I could die happy you know. You love me Rosie, that's all I care about. The Potters are safe, my godson is safe. Remus is the hero I always knew he'd be and Peter's got more courage than any of us. Maybe I'll never have that perfect life I wanted to have with you Rose. Where we live in a mansion and have millions of kids; some blond and some black-haired. And maybe you'll go and marry someone different in four or five years. But as long as you love me, I reckon that's enough.'

Rose didn't know when she started crying but she knew that when the tears started they couldn't stop. What was holding her back from getting SJ and bringing him down right now? Because she was a coward. She was too scared of how he'd react. If James came and gave her that bravery he always managed to give her then maybe ...

But instead, like the coward she was, Rose sat besides him, holding his hand and sobbing silently. She let him continue telling her just how important Harry was to him.

It filled Rose with happiness and pity when she watched him clutch at his hair as he tried to remember some far off memories.

It was almost like nothing had changed and they were settling into their old routine, with stories and touches and kisses. Harry toddled into the room, holding a miniature quaffle and throwing it at Sirius, who laughed fondly when it fell at the boy's feet.

But his attention was stolen by the hard knocks and the crying and whispering from behind the front door.

It was Moony and Lily.

* * *

><p><em>AN: I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS CHAPTER! :D _

_Also, check out the drabbles, let's call them, based on this fanfic. It's called His Footsteps._

_xo_


	33. Colder Days

_Disclaimer; I don't own anything apart from the plot, the OCs, some spells and potions. _

_A/N: Thank you so much for leaving awesome reviews the past few chapters. This chapter is full of surprises and reactions, tell me what you think of the two things discovered by our favourite Black in this chapter. You're all very kind for reviewing, I hope you enjoy and thank you so much!_

_I should really proof-read this for spelling/grammar/punctuation mistakes but I really cannot be bothered. I am sorry if there are loads of mistakes - but hopefully there aren't. ENJOY!_

* * *

><p><em>xoxo <em>

_33. Colder Days_

Rose wrenched open the door, only to be thrown back. She barely managed to catch herself. Lily slammed the door and Remus fell to the floor, gasping for breath and wiping his bloody face. He met Lily's eyes and they stared at each other for a long moment before the werewolf started laughing; laughing hard.

Lily joined in, and they grinned at each other. Rose grew worried after a minute passed and their laughter did not waver. Had they been cursed? Was this a spell? The effects of a spell? Her question was answered when Lily suddenly stopped laughing.

'If they don't come back by tonight Moony...' she whispered.

_They? They! James and Peter!_ Where were they? Were they safe, were they hurt, were they okay? Was _James_ okay?

'They went to distract the Death Eaters. We were ambushed.' Remus told her, and with a jolt she realised that she had been speaking out loud. 'Lily and I went on. We had to get the rest of the potion ingredients—'

'You mean _steal_. We didn't have enough money for the unicorn tears. We stole some of it.' Lily didn't sound guilty, but rather, she sounded tired; so tired.

'Are you okay?' Rose asked tentatively. She was intimidated by Lily, and she didn't want to get snapped at right now.

Lily shook her head. 'I-If he dies ... if my baby dies...'

'He won't die Lily. Let's start making the potion. Give him something good to return home to.' Remus told her gently, smiling at her with such love it hurt to witness them. Rose noticed the bag Lily was clutching tightly, as if it were a lifeline. The bag was small, maybe the size of a quaffle.

The redhead nodded and kicked off her shoes, her tiny pale feet shaking. One by one the group made their way to the lounge, where Sirius was laying on the sofa, holding Harry right. His eyes ran over Remus and Lily. He smiled softly.

'What happened?'

Whilst Rose ran around the house getting the returned witch and wizard drinks and whatever else they wanted, Remus explained to Sirius what happened. He hugged his friend to offer some comfort, and it seemed to work.

'There were lots of them, yes Padfoot. But I think they escaped. Peter can turn into a rat and James has the Invisibility Cloak. They told us to go so we could get the last two ingredients for your potion.'

Sirius bit his lip and nodded, leaning into his friend's embrace. It felt so nice to be hugged, to be held by someone so significant in his life, someone so familiar. He'd grown rather tired of all of Bella's hugs and kisses.

Lily wasn't talking though, instead she stared at the cackling golden flames and nibbled her lip in anticipation and worry, every word directed at her flying past.

'They'll be fine Lily.' Sirius knew his words sounded like a lie, but it seemed like the only thing to say that would cheer her up. It didn't cheer her up though.

'Let's go make the potion Lily. You know the Sier leaves have to be stewed at precisely midnight and we have a whole load of shit to do before that.'

Lily's head snapped up as if she only noticed the others. She nodded and stood up, letting Remus guide her out of the room and into the kitchen. As soon as they were in the kitchen, he closed the door. 'They're going to be fine Lils. Don't worry; you'll scare Sirius and Harry.'

She breathed in shakily. 'I-I'm sorry. I just didn't appreciate the situation as much when we were out there. How will they get back in? Once they manage, _if _they manage, to slip away from the Death Eaters they'll come running straight back here.'

Remus opened his arms, and when she settled inside, he kissed the top of her head. She was his little sister; he needed to keep her calm and safe. 'There are things about us that the Death Eaters don't know, like how the others are Animagi and James has a cloak. They'll manage Lils, they always do. But right now it'll do no good to distract ourselves thinking about them. We didn't risk our lives, _their _lives for nothing – let's make the potion and worry later.'

And with a shaky breath, she nodded, conjuring the spell book they needed (and had also stolen). 'First,' she said in a quiet and collected voice, 'we need to simmer water for twenty minutes. In the meantime you can help me cut the fairy wings into thin, centimetre thick sectors.'

It was dawn of the next day when the potion was finished. It had taken so long, it had taken _hours,_ but they were done. They had finally finished.

The potion was the colour of the sea; it had a transparent tinge about it, but was filled with swishes of blue and green. It smelt of rusty metal and it didn't taste very good. Lily was a different woman when she was making potions. She was sharp and dominant and very careful. She had an air of expertise that people envied and she was so sure and calculative, it was endearing.

With the help of a few tricks and cheats her and Severus Snape created back in Hogwarts, the potion was done in half the time it usually took. Rose held Harry close to her, shushing him as Lily entered the room, half a goblet filled with the bluish liquid. Sirius was asleep but when she stirred him awake he wiped his mouth and gulped, watching the goblet like it was an enemy.

Everything was riding on this one goblet, this one potion. And if it didn't work than nothing would. He didn't know when he started hyperventilating, but he did. Lily pressed a kiss to his forehead and Sirius sucked up the courage she managed to give him in that brief moment her lips brushed his skin.

He took it, closed his eyes and knocked it back. The potion left tings trailing down his spine, his body shivered and his heart felt like a drum, beating and beating and beating and beating and ...

Sirius gasped, his body humming with the power of the potion. He felt his legs jolt awake from a long sleep, he felt the painful injuries that hitherto had not been cured now seal and mend and heal. He felt his lips thicken to their old shape, and his eyes widen. He felt his body grow; his muscles thicken and his flesh fatten.

Sirius looked down at his arms and the cloth covering them stretched as his muscles grew back to their old size. There was a sharp stabbing as the potion mended his neck; his fragile voice box and his tattered throat. The minutes passed and his heartbeat didn't slow down as his body was still struggling to mend all that was wrong with him.

A spasm shook through Sirius's body and then it was over. He looked down at his body. He couldn't see his legs; he wanted to see his legs. As if Remus could read his mind, he waved his wand and the trousers covering Sirius's legs disappeared.

It truly was as if someone had stuck someone else's legs on him. They were back to normal. The faint tan of before his imprisonment had now been restored. The muscles bulged in his legs, and there were no scars and bruises. He touched his legs.

He could feel it. He could feel his fingers, he could feel Rose's lips on his calf as she marvelled, like the others, at the wonders of the Archetypus potion. He really was his original self. He was handsome once more, not that he had necessarily been ugly before, quite the contrary, but the shine was back in his eyes, his skin wasn't as pale, his hair was healthier and more vibrant – he was _Sirius_ again.

But he looked at his arms and legs as though he didn't recognise himself. As though he was some sort of monster. But as quick as it had come, Sirius was snatched back into reality and he smiled.

'I can feel it...' he said, touching his thigh tentatively. He threw back his head and laughed. 'I can feel them.' Then he frowned. 'But there question is whether they work or not...'

He gently pushed Rose out of the way and looked ahead at the fireplace, if he _just_ managed to make it. The first step was excruciating, and it was as though he had forgotten how to walk. Remus kept a tight hand on his arm, and Sirius shuffled rather than picked up his feet.

But he could walk. Regardless of whether he could walk _well,_ he could walk. He could walk! But it all ended soon when he fell; luckily Remus's arms were there to snatch him before he fell hard.

He was carefully led back to his prison-bed, the bed he hadn't left since his shower.

'It works, Lily ... the potion worked...'

He looked up at her, and the tears of happiness in her beautiful eyes brought tears of his own to the surface. He turned to look at Rose, who was crying too.

'Oh _Paddy,_' Lily breathed, touching his cheek affectionately. As she yawned they heard a scraping noise. It was a sharp scraping noise and they all turned to see a small hole, a very small hole, maybe the size of a fist in the wall besides the fireplace.

And wriggling through the small hole was Wormtail. As soon as he was through, Peter transformed. His face was red with blood and he was panting hard. They could hear hard knocking—

'It's James,' Peter managed to wheeze. Lily ran as fast as she could to the front door, wrenching it open. She felt something invisible force her back and as soon as the front door was closed, James threw off the Invisibility Cloak and swept her up into his arms.

He kissed her hard and passionately, his blood covering her hands and her face and her lips. There was a salty tang as they kissed but neither cared; Lily was so happy he was safe. And he was so happy to see her. His wife, his beautiful wife.

'Baby,' she breathed against his lips, diving down for one more kiss. But James's hands slackened when he caught sight of Sirius stumbling out of the lounge, gripping the wall hard and exhaling heavily. Their eyes met; hazel and grey, and they exchanged cautious grins.

Then James pecked Lily once more, nipping her lip, before loosening his grip on her. She knew it was best to move out of the way. The two Marauders watched each other for a long moment before James strode to where his fragile friend was standing, and wrapped his arms around Sirius.

He embraced his friend with enough force to lift Sirius momentarily off the ground who barked a laugh.

'You can walk?' James breathed, burying his face in his friend's shoulder and making a noise between a gasp and a chuckle.

Sirius nodded. 'Lily and Remus...'

They grinned at each other, though Sirius's was more confused than James's. He didn't know why he was smiling so much, it was just James. Just his best friend. And then he watched as the smile on the stag's face disappeared.

James's whole demeanour changed, and he released Sirius. 'We need to go. They're here. There are so many everywhere. We need to get out of here now.'

* * *

><p>Chaos was the only word that could describe the situation clearly. Peter was whimpering in pain whilst Remus healed his injuries and James was running around the house, shouting for them to pack some stuff, anything, and get ready by noon.<p>

'B-But why?' Rose asked as she stuffed some clothes in a bag.

James ran a hand through his hair and turned to face all of them. There were deep bags under his red eyes and his face was very pale.

'Peter and I ... we've found a herd of thestrals. We need to escape on them. We'll disapparate to where the thestrals are and go somewhere, we're not sure where yet but—'

'Grimmauld Place.'

One by one, everyone turned to face Sirius. Their stares were incredulous, confused, disbelieving – they must have thought he was mad again.

'I-I only recommend Grimmauld Place because I know Mother won't turn me out. And the safety spells on my family home are _insanely _good. We'll be safe.'

James pondered for a long moment, biting his lip and running a frustrated hand through his hair. Finally he seemed to come to a conclusion. 'You're right. Grim, Old Place it is.'

Sirius smiled at the distant childhood joke, and he fell back into the sofa tiredly whilst he watched the others pack hurriedly; pictures being slammed into a bag charmed with Remus's crafty Undetectable Extension Spell; prized possessions being carefully slipped into rucksacks, essentials being bundled, clothes being squeezed into any available place.

There was screaming, and it was giving Sirius a headache. Who was screaming? Was it Harry?

'You need to go control your son Prongs,' Sirius muttered in a quiet voice. He faintly registered the fact that they all stopped packing, and he hesitantly looked up. The shrill, young scream continued to pierce the air.

'It's not James's so—'

'_Sirius! Did I give you the letters?_' Remus forcefully interjected Peter, hurrying forward and seizing his friend's collar urgently. He looked slightly mad, and he was panting as though he'd run a marathon. 'The letters from Dumbledore? Did I give you the letters from Dumbledore?'

Sirius was trying to get his head around what Peter had said, and the reaction from Remus, who had conveniently remembered to bring up the letters. Sirius could also hear giggling in the back of his mind, the giggling of a sneaky kitten and ferret. Amal and Aubrey. They hadn't gone then?

'N-No,' stammered Sirius after a long pause, and he heard sighs of contentment, sighs he was too tired to try and decipher.

'Rose, go get the letters,' James asked her, 'they're in Lily's lingerie drawer...' He elbowed his wife and winked at her. 'No one would ever dare to go in my baby's sexy drawer.'

Sirius turned to his girlfriend and watched the blood slowly seep back into her face. She was panting a little too. 'Okay Jimmy,' she whispered, stalking out of the room and running upstairs. A few minutes of painful silence and they heard the distant crying cease. Sirius felt like clutching at his hair; _what was wrong with him?_

After ten more minutes of whispers and hisses Rose came back into the lounge, a thick envelope in her hands. She handed it to Sirius. The first thing he noticed was how heavy it was. Before anyone could say a word, he ripped open the top and peered inside.

A small vial filled with a cloudy substance was inside. There was also something else. It looked a lot like a basin, a miniature basin; a pensieve; Dumbledore's pensieve.

Why would the old headmaster give away such odd possessions to Sirius? He took out the lengthy roll of parchment filled with his headmaster's small and slanted writing and he started to read:

_Dear Sirius, my old friend,_

_I have been a teacher at Hogwarts for many years now, and what I love about it most is the pleasant surprise of being proved wrong. You've proved time and time again, not only to me but other teachers, to other students, even your own family can see how truly _different _you are. I've never been prouder of a student, and knowing you've survived Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters, with nothing but your faithfulness and loyalty keeping you going shows the true mark of a Gryffindor._

_But as always Sirius, bravery can only take you so far. I've got a mission for you, a mission that perhaps you wouldn't be interested in. But the memories in the small vial I have enclosed in this envelope will inspire you and motivate you to carry out this grave and important mission that none other than you and your friends can complete and succeed in. This mission was started by Regulus Black, and should be finished by his elder brother; you._

_Sirius the mission is a straightforward one to understand, it's a mission thousands are dying for – a mission to defeat Lord Voldemort. And the only way you can do that is to destroy his horcruxes. I haven't the time to explain what a horcrux is, but I do however have time to tell you that Regulus gave his life trying to destroy a horcrux. And he is the reason we shall destroy the Dark Lord._

_I can only lead you to the only horcrux I know about, the Slytherin Locket – which I have hidden for you behind the portrait of your great-great grandfather in my old office. Remember that a horcrux can only be killed by something stronger than it! I'm not sure what that could be yet, and though I desperately want to try and help you, I'm as bamboozled as you will be (when you discover what a horcrux is) as to how exactly you should go about destroying it. But I will say that we will never win the war if Voldemort has horcruxes._

_The memories enclosed in this envelope will explain more. But I want to give you some last pointers Sirius, visit Trelawney. Her prophecies are real, at least, some of them are, and you will know which ones. Visit her and see if there have been any new predictions of the future, you need all the help you can get. Second, do not let your Marauders go! Keep your friends close, only they will understand and help you the way you need them too. And finally, do not let Lord Voldemort possess you. Whatever has happened during your imprisonment, don't let him take over you. I wish you the best of luck on this mission, and remember, with the horcruxes and we are forever with Voldemort, but without them is our only shot at being without him._

_I hope to see you soon,_

_And remember this if you remember nothing else, you are what bravery _means _Mr Black, and with you and only you shall we ever defeat the shadows,_

_Best of luck,_

_Albus Dumbledore_

Sirius read the letter again. He wiped his tears, ignoring everyone and everything. He read it for a third time before he finally put it down. James snatched it up, and the group crowded round to get a chance to read the letter.

But he wasn't paying attention; he was too busy setting the pensieve down on the table. As if on command, it automatically grew to its original size, taking up half the coffee table. The pensieve was empty, and it looked strangely naked.

Sirius ripped off the cap on the vial, took a deep breath and poured the swishing memories in. He could hear noises emitting from them but he managed to ignore them. His hand almost instinctively flew to touch his tattoo of R.A.B and he smiled bitterly.

_I love you Reg._

Sirius, before any of them could protest, before James could reach out and grab at him, dived into the pensieve and disappeared amongst the memories. He caught snippets as he fell hard to the floor, the floor of a very familiar room.

And standing a few metres before him, touching the wall, was Regulus Black. He looked very young and very handsome. His white pale face was contorted with worry, and he was frowning. Sirius watched his brother run a hand through his hair shakily, and when he felt the others fall besides him, he ignored them, drinking in the sight of his younger brother.

Slowly, tentatively, Sirius stood up. He walked over to where Regulus stood, his back to them. Sirius was only a few inches taller, and his hair was a little longer. He touched his brother's back but his hand went through as if he was a ghost.

His attention was stolen however, when the room was filled with a sharp crack. And falling to the floor was Kreacher the house elf. He was filthy and trembling and bleeding. The conversation that took place was short as Regulus carried the elf to the drawing room and held him as he sat.

Kreacher was trying hard to explain that the only reason he was there was because Regulus had called him. Then the ugly small elf made a joke about Sirius, which left the other brother laughing bitterly and shortly. But then the elf was ordered to shower and he left to go and clean himself.

'What happened?' someone breathed, Sirius didn't know who – he was too busy watching the scene before him unfold.

The younger Black started whispering to himself as he waited in anticipation. He sat down and Sirius sat right besides him, watching his brother hungrily.

'Sirius...' whispered James, even though any noise they made would be ignored. 'Pads, what are we doing here?'

'You read the letter.' Sirius replied just as quietly, 'we're here because we need to find out how to kill Lord Voldemort. And _I _need to find out how my brother died.'

Lily marvelled at how similar and different both the brothers looked. They had the same eyes, but different colours. The same hair but Sirius's was longer and wavier. And their demeanours were total opposites. Sirius sat with collectiveness whereas his brother sat in an uptight, stiff manner.

They were like opposite poles.

'He looks so familiar,' Sirius breathed, and James wasn't sure if he was supposed to have heard or not. But when Sirius turned to face them they understood that he was indeed talking to them. Sirius touched his brother's still face but his fingers fluttered through the pale cheek. 'It's almost like I've forgotten how he looks. He looks _so _much like me...'

It was a tender moment, where they all stayed quiet and watched their friend kneel before his brother and trace the familiar features. Sirius was whispering to himself, and he smiled when Regulus muttered '_Sirius_' under his breath.

But he also whispered a name, a name Sirius had only heard a few times; the name Amy. The love of his brother's life, and a half-blood who was deemed unacceptable to wed a Black and conveniently died just as things between her and Reg turned serious.

'S-Sirius,' Rose whispered, getting up and sitting on the other side of her boyfriend. She took his hand. 'Sirius—'

'If I had a Time Turner...' he breathed, watching his brother with an adoring gaze. 'I'd bring him back you know. I'd kill whoever killed Reggie before they had the chance.'

He was cut off however when the elf entered the room and bowed low, swaying less than a metre away from the trio.

'Kreacher,' said Regulus, 'don't be ridiculous. Sit down.'

The elf tentatively sat down on the floor, his head near Regulus's feet. After he was told to start from the beginning, the pieces began to fit together, like a jigsaw. The elf told a story of how he was taken to a cave where Lord Voldemort wished to conceal something. He told them about how he was cut so they could enter because the cave wall needed blood to open. He explained about the bodies in the water and the small boat they rowed to the tiny island hovering on the dark water surface.

Kreacher explained about the potion he was forced to drink, the potion that brought back horrid memories. He clarified as to why the Dark Lord needed Kreacher to drink the potion; so he could drop a locket into the basin and fill it back up again. Then the elf explained about how he hurried to the edge and drank the water when the supposedly dead bodies started rising to the surface, moving and gaining closer. Bodies that were alive.

_Inferi._

And again, Sirius heard the word "horcrux" being repeated through the conversation, his curiosity growing.

Then the memory switched, this time to one of Regulus standing before the fireplace, knocking back some whiskey and muttering to himself. His face was stark white and he was trembling, but he looked resolute. After a while of silence, where the room was filled with nothing but mumbling, Kreacher's voice snapped them out of their reverie, asking whether the other man was ready or not. He replied with something witty and smiled tightly before taking the elf's hand and disapparating.

The memory changed once again but this time they appeared somewhere wholly different. They were outside, near a beach. The air smelt salty and it was bitterly cold.

Lily was holding onto Remus's hand and was cuddled into James. Peter walked close besides them and Rose ... she was watching her boyfriend with the most curious eyes, the most frightened eyes. Sirius himself was following his brother, staying close to the smaller man. He didn't want to miss anything.

They entered the cave, and the Marauders watched as Regulus declared he was going to use his blood instead of the elf. It left them all in awe.

'He's ... he's very different... as to how I thought he would be...' whispered Lily.

'A good different. He's so brave; he would've made a great Gryffindor.' James replied. It was surprising; he never complimented Regulus Black. He didn't like the man, he hated him in fact. But he did, however understand that his best friend's brother was braver than he ever gave him credit for. And it was something James would regret and be ashamed of forever; not giving Regulus Black a chance.

He was so like his brother.

They seemed to glide through the water so the boat was unnecessary. Sirius still kept a hand on his brother, _through _his brother seeing as his hand left no impression. But he could have sworn that their eyes met for a long time, almost as if his younger brother sensed his presence.

The basin was exactly how Kreacher had described it before. And sure enough, there was a potion filled to the brim and a silver goblet sitting on the surface.

'Does it hurt?' Regulus asked, his voice shaking and betraying just how scared her was.

'All the worst memories...'

'Keep me drinking—'

'Master—'

Regulus snapped and out came an order, he never ordered Kreacher, and Kreacher could never disobey a direct order. The elf's mouth snapped shut. And it began. The drinking began. After maybe four goblets, Regulus let out a pained whine.

'No, _no,_' Sirius whispered, falling to his knees and trying to desperately wrench the goblet out of his brother's hands. But to no avail did the goblet come loose. 'No, Reg, _please_,' his voice broke. 'No, Reggie please, stop, _STOP_!'

His very handsome face was contorted with pain and he was sobbing and whispering.

'Sirius—' Rose whispered urgently, trying to pull him away. But he roughly pushed her from him and continued blindly groping at the silver goblet that was pressed to his brother's lips for a fifth time.

'Master, just a few more, t'is a few more,' Kreacher was crying too as he forced his master to knock back the fifth cup.

'Stop,' moaned Regulus. 'I'm so sorry ... _please_ ... A-Amy, I'm so sorry,' he started crying deep and unfathomable sobs, speaking of so much pain and hurt and regret.

'Sirius!' cried James, who was standing before the basin. 'It's almost finished. There's something under it, Kreacher was right – there's a locket under the surface, the _horcrux_...'

The final goblet was pressed to his brother's lips, who was now crying and screaming. After a few minutes of painful silence it was as though Regulus had been in a dream. He snapped out of the oblivious and pained state. He was gasping for breath and could barely straighten up, and as hard as Sirius tried to prop him up, it was useless.

'Put the locket on Kreacher, keep it safe.' He said in a monotonous voice, his tears still falling rapidly. Sirius watched in fascination as his clever brother duplicated the locket, putting inside the locket a note with neat but scrawled writing and dropping it back in the basin. Regulus used the few drops of potion to create some more, filling it to the brim.

Then the handsome young man staggered. 'Water, get me water,' he barely managed to gasp as the thirst consumed him.

'NO! No, _no!_' Sirius started screaming, trying to push the reluctant elf away from the water. He watched as his brother consumed it, asking for more and receiving it. But then it was too late. They came; the Inferi. They came and they fought against the half-paralysed man and the hysterical elf.

Regulus sucked up all his energy and knocked back most of the Inferi with a sharp flick of fire but it wasn't enough, there were so many and they were coming towards the group of eight.

Rose was screaming; it seemed so real, as if the Inferi was coming directly to her, _for _her. Lily was screaming sharp spells that were useless against the Inferi. But the Marauders, all four of them, were petrified with pain.

Sirius more than any. He knew what was coming, he knew what was nearing. His brother's end, his brother's death. All for a locket, all for something precious of Voldemort's.

'MASTER! MASTER! LET'S GO!' Kreacher was crying loudly, trying and failing to get Regulus away safely. 'Master, Master please!'

But it wasn't enough, the Inferi were managing to drag Regulus across the small island and to the water's edge. With a sudden burst of energy, the younger Black screamed back at the elf.

'KREACHER! KREACHER GO! GET OUT OF HERE NOW! TAKE THE LOCKET AND GO! DESTROY IT! PROMISE ME YOU'LL DESTROY IT? PROMISE ME YOU'LL TRY?'

The words of a dying man.

'No,' breathed Sirius, trying as hard as he could to drag his brother back from the pale lifeless bodies bringing him closer to his death. 'No, please, _please!_' He started screaming and crying, his sobs somehow managing to echo through the noisy cave. 'Help me! James! JAMES! HELP ME, PLEASE! NO! REGULUS, _NO!_'

'Go; don't tell anyone what has happened! Take the locket and go!' Regulus continued, unfazed. His voice was now barely a whisper.

The words faded as the scene did, the black water seemed to spread everywhere as the last thing the group saw was the body of Regulus reach the water's edge. Then their sight was filled with light and they slammed back into the Potters' lounge.

The room was filled with the sound of panting and breathing and sobbing. In the distance the sounds of SJ crying reached them. It was ... silent for a while. For a long moment no one dared to speak, dared to even speak.

'So that's how he died,' breathed Lily, wiping the tears hurriedly from her face.

'Oh baby,' Rose whispered, stepping closer to Sirius and putting her hand on his shoulder, for his back was faced towards all of them. She sounded hesitant, not sure whether or not to speak to him after what they had just seen. 'Sirius, look at me.' But when he turned around, they all wished he hadn't.

Sirius had always been complimented on how beautiful his eyes were; a rare and gem-like greyish silver with different shades mixed in. His lashes were long and thick and his eyelids were a dainty lavender shade.

His eyelids were still a dainty lavender shade. And his lashes were still long and thick. But his eyes, his _irises_ were no longer grey or silver or both. No, his irises were _red_. Scarlet red. Like the Dark Mark they all only noticed now. Rose was the first to scream, moving away from Sirius before leaping back. She wasn't the only one. Lily jumped back too, and so did Remus and Peter and James. He looked possessed, his eyes were blood red and his Dark Mark was crimson; throbbing and contorting to make horrible shapes.

The first window that exploded was after the lounge door slammed shut and all of them, save Sirius, were safely on the other side.

The shrieks Rose screamed were barely intelligible, James was shouting words even he didn't understand and Remus was humming under his breath, muttering a stream of words that were incoherent to the rest.

They could hear the destruction taking place from inside; the windows exploding and the mirror cracking.

Sirius wasn't taking this badly, oh no, Rose had been wrong. Sirius was taking this _very _badly. _Very, very badly._

His screams and cries resonated through the house, the most frequent word being "no". If there was a sound for a heart breaking it would be the noises Sirius was making. Rose sat down besides the door and listened to his heaving sobs, touching the oak with her hand to offer herself some sort of comfort. For her heart was breaking too. All their hearts were breaking.

James wiped his tears; the tears of watching Sirius as he tried to pull the memory-Regulus from the clutches of the Inferi. Tears for his friend grieving. Tears for the pain Sirius Black was surely going through.

'We have to stop him,' Remus whisper some how managed to be heard amongst the shouts and sounds of furniture breaking. He was always the first to collect and compose himself. 'We have to stop him before he hurts himself, before he does something—'

James shook his head. 'Let him. He needs his time. He needs a moment to come to terms with how Regulus truly died.'

After a long moment, the werewolf breathed in shakily and nodded. Then Harry collided with his "Uncl' Moon" who picked him up.

'Where have you been Harry? Remus asked. With a gasp James realised his son had been left alone in the house for about three or four hours. He felt like such a terrible Father.

'Gadder,' he squealed, dribble coating his muddy mouth. Oh, he meant "garden". Well that would explain the mud on his hands and the dirt on his clothes.

'I'll g-give him a bath. You want a bath Harry?' Lily's voice was loud but shaky and unsure. She turned to her husband who nodded. Lily took Harry from Remus and they disappeared up the stairs, leaving the Marauders (save Sirius) and Rose.

Sudden as lightening, the screaming stopped, morphing into quiet sobs. The sounds of things exploding and breaking stopped too.

It was a while before the sobs were replaced with silence. It was James who opened the door first. The sight brought tears to his eyes, and he huffed out a shaky breath.

The room was in utter chaos, but it was nothing that a few powerful Repairing Charms couldn't fix of course. The windows were completely open, sending a strong hurl of cold wind into the room. The feathers from the pillows covered the floor, till not an inch of the carpet could be seen. The mirror was cracked and photographs lay strewn on the floor, either behind broken frames or ripped to shreds.

The lounge was unrecognisable. But what was most upsetting was not the broken windows or the feathers, but instead their friend, Sirius Black, asleep on the ground clutching Dumbledore's letter in his hand hard.

His breathing was soft, and the tears were drying on his face. He looked like a child. James fell down to his knees and smoothed his friend's hair, wiping the tears with his other hand and crooning under his breath to try and ease the pained pants of Sirius.

And soon the laboured breathing stopped, and it was almost like he was just taking a nap. Almost.

_xo _

He kept his eyes averted, ashamed of his outburst a short while ago. But then again, he had never been the type to just sit and cry, he had always been one to physically show his anger and sadness and hatred. Yesterday, he'd been doing just that. He stayed seated on the newly repaired sofa whilst the others bustled around to pack the rest of their stuff. They were leaving in a few hours. They needed to get out of Godric's Hollow ... now.

Sirius couldn't take it. 'Do any of you know what a horcrux is?'

They all looked up. Either out of shock that Sirius had spoken, or because he was speaking about the memories.

'No.' Good old Remus was always the first to recover. After a moment all the others muttered the same answer.

'Well I have.' Sirius told them. 'I don't know exactly what they are, but I know they're produced through the death of another. And they're very dark. Alarmingly dark.'

'Where are you getting at Pads...' James had always been able to read him like a book. Sirius had a glint in his eyes, a very small flash of red. They shivered but said nothing, though Peter did move quite a bit away from him.

'My brother tried to get and destroy Voldemort's horcrux. In the process, he died. Seems like I'll have to take up his mantle. I'll have to complete the task he set himself and Dumbledore has set me. I need to retrieve the horcrux from behind ol' Phineas. And then I need to destroy it. I don't know how yet, but I do know that I won't rest until it's gone. Voldemort's the reason he's _dead_—'

'You can't be serious Padf—'

'BUT I AM!' Sirius screamed with more energy and vigour than anything they'd seen him do. He looked mad – Bellatrix and Walburga levels of mad. James clamped his mouth shut. 'I'm perhaps the most serious I've ever been in my life. He died for us, he died to defeat Voldemort. I can't let that go unnoticed; he died in vain if we don't finish what he started Prongs.'

'T-Think of the repercussions. Think of what would happen if you do this Padfoot!'

'I ... I have nothing to live for, what does it matter if I die? In a war this grand and vast, one life doesn't matter. I was prepared to die a week ago, a month ago for this cause. I was prepared to die for this before I even knew what _"this"_ entailed. I want to do this so Moony and his vampire girl can survive to test the theory of whether wolves and vamps can have babies together. I want Peter to find that special girl he's always dreamed of. And for you Prongs? I just want Harry to grow up to live his life as full as he can; I want you and Lily to make more Pronglets and flower-buds, 'kay?'

Finally, his beautiful grey eyes rested on Rose. 'And for you?' He breathed out a gentle breath and wiped his eye before a tear could fall. 'I just want you to meet that guy who'll treat you right. That guy who won't sprain your arm and scream at you and swear ... a guy who won't _break_—' his voice broke at the word, 'you're heart.'

Rose fell before him on her knees, putting her hand under her chin. 'It's I who has broken your heart – no hush,' she pressed a long finger to his lips and he kissed it. With a shaky breath, she turned to the redhead behind her and nodded very softly. 'Lily, go get him.'

'No, _no_, Rose! Shouldn't you explain first?' James protested, creeping into Sirius's sight.

Rose sadly smiled. 'Seeing SJ will be explanation enough – Sirius hush, it'll all be explained shortly. You just need to see him once and you'll understand it all.'

The door closed behind Lily. As soon as it hit the doorway, Rose let out a sob. 'I'm so sorry, _so _sorry...' she breathed, closing her eyes and letting the big tears fall. Rose frantically pressed her lips against his, and he savoured the taste of her mouth against his. Her hand lifted to cup his jaw tenderly. But Rose broke away all too soon, pressing a last chaste and loving kiss.

'I love you so much, I've never loved anyone more than you...' she paused to sob quietly into his shirt. 'Oh Sirius! Please, _please_ forgive me. _Please! _I love you so much, so much it _hurts_...'

'Rosie—' he whispered, 'Rosie, what's going on? What have you done—' He was cut off however when Lily returned. Rose moved out of the way so he could see what the other woman was holding, so he could see what she was scared of him seeing.

And boy did he see. He could see a baby. He could see Rose's baby. He could see his baby? He could see his baby.

_He could see his baby._


	34. His Reaction

_Disclaimer; I don't own anything but the OCs, some spells and some potions._

_A/N: Firstly, I'd just like to say that the potion from the last chapter, the Archetypus potion only restores how you physically looked before, not your mental wellbeing - so Sirius is still a bit loopy, as you'll see later in this chapter. Second, I'd like to say thank you so much for the reviews I got on the last chapter. Here is Sirius's reaction to seeing his son for the first time. I hope it meets up to your expectations, and if not, tell me why it hasn't._

_Please leave a review, I'd appreciate it so much, honestly._

_Enjoy this update and have a great day!_

_P.S. I recommend reading 'Summer of Sorrow' by Rebel Way. It's awesome and it's all about the summer Sirius ran away and his friendship with James, so do read it!_

* * *

><p><em>xoxo<em>

_34. His Reaction_

All he could see was a baby. It was like the rest of humanity and existence faded away into white as the baby in Lily's arms neared. It was her baby, Rose's baby. Was it _Sirius's_ baby? It had to be his baby. The eyes, the hair, the _eyes!_

Sirius remembered the time he fell from his broom, over a hundred feet above the ground. He would have died had it not been for Madam Hooch and her brilliant witchcraft. She saved his life and he would forever be grateful. But he would never forget the tears afterwards and he would never forget the screams he had shrieked whilst he fell.

The law of physics said all things that go up must come down. And Sirius had been coming down; he had been coming down _hard._ He had never forgiven his brother for sitting there on his broom a few feet away, allowing the Slytherins to curse Sirius off his broom, just as he had swung his bat to knock a bludger hurtling towards James away.

But the incident had taught him something and in a weird sort of way, he was thankful for experiencing such a trauma. It taught him to be careful of the people close to him, that even those most important to him had to be regarded with a sense of weariness. The Marauders had been an exception, but then Peter's betrayal back near Halloween made Sirius regard even his closest friends with a little cautiousness.

And just when his trust had been mending, he saw a baby. His baby. Here he sat, draped on the sofa with a cloth keeping him warm and his son nearing him. James's hand clenched his tightly, and his friend pressed frantic kisses to his hand and whispering words. Meaningless words that offered little comfort. That offered little help.

'Oh Padfoot,' James whispered but Sirius could barely hear and comprehend. Here he was, once again seeing and feeling the consequences of trusting. Trusting her, trusting Rose. The laws of physics said all things that go up must come down – and his tears were coming down, coming down hard.

Sirius stared at the baby in Lily's arms. Maybe two or three months old. With hair as black as night and eyes as silver as stars, his skin was white like snow and his lips were scarlet like blood.

Beauty was such a weak word to describe the radiance of the boy less than a metre away from him. Was this how stunning Sirius had been when he was a baby? He didn't think so. This boy was the epitome of beauty and radiance.

He didn't realise he had been speaking out loud, especially when Remus put an arm around his shoulders and Rose started to press hard kisses against his jaw and temple and cheek and lips. Oh how she kissed his lips! She whispered her apology on his skin in an urgent and desperate manner.

'I'm sorry,' she choked again and again, kissing all over his face.

But Sirius didn't hear anything. All was white and black and grey in his eyes. He couldn't see anything but the boy, the baby. He couldn't hear anything but the fussed noise his son (_his son?)_ was making. He didn't know why or how his harsh breathing turned into sobs but they did. Loud sobs, sobs so loud and so hard he could barely breathe. It hurt to breathe.

He didn't need confirmation, this boy was his; a clone of Sirius Black from twenty two years ago.

When Sirius opened his eyes – they had closed on their own accord – the baby was smiling at Lily, whose emerald eyes were fastened onto Sirius passionately, mouthing words he couldn't hear. His arms opened subconsciously, automatically; almost as though they knew immediately how to hold the young baby. And after what seemed like hours, she tucked the baby into his Father's arms, a little hesitantly if not a bit reluctantly.

Sirius looked down at his son, and his son looked up at him. There was a moment where the twins just looked at each other, drinking up the image of one another but for different reasons. Sirius was trying to come up with a plausible reason as to why there was a boy, a few months old, in his arms that looked so much like him. And the baby was wondering who this man holding him was, who this unfamiliar stranger could be.

But then the baby, after he watched his Father for a long time, took one deep breath and wailed at the top of his lungs; a shrieking and piercing cry that echoed through the silent and still house like an explosion. After a befuddled moment, Sirius copied, crying out hard and deep.

He cried till his voice was cracking and breaking, until Rose grew so frightened for her son that she wrenched the baby out of his Father's arms and covered his body with her own. The Marauders cocooned around Sirius, wrapping their arms around him and muttering meaningless condolences.

'I-It's okay,' breathed Remus into his hair, 'we're here. We're always going to be here for you.'

'I'M SORRY!' exploded Rose, a demented expression flickering and remaining on her face. 'I'm so _sorry _Sirius! Please baby ... p-please!'

It didn't work. Remus's words of comfort and Rose's cries of apology didn't help one bit. Pushing away his friends and getting up stiffly from the sofa, he moaned gently at the tenderness of his muscles and the ache in his legs. But he persevered. He barged Remus and pushed James and shoved Peter. And faster than any of the others thought he was capable of moving, Sirius was off the sofa and making his way to Rose.

She forced the baby into Lily's arms and started backing away, the red glint in his piercing grey eyes frightening her as he advanced closer and closer until she was pressed into the wall. Her eyes followed his movements, catching a glance of the red Dark Mark squirming on his forearm as he reached over to snatch James's wand.

Sirius pointed it at her, his eyes almost completely red now, and the mark flashing between white and scarlet. His arm was steady and he looked possessed; delirious.

Rose froze. She took one look at his face, his wand and his mark before she screamed as loud as she could. But the low and deep voice, very unlike his own, could still be heard by all the others.

'Avada Ked-'

Sirius couldn't finish the spell, as the wand flew out of his hand and he dropped to the floor, stunned, thanks to Remus. James dropped to his knees, checking if his friend was okay. His hand was shaking as he checked for a pulse and then as quick as he could, he moved away from Sirius, gasping for breath.

Had Sirius ... had Sirius really almost killed Rose?

Her screams distracted them all, taking on a whole new tone and pitch. She was hysterical, and even Remus's comforting arms around her (arms that were very adept at calming anyone down) didn't quieten Rose.

In the end, it was Lily's sharp Stunning Charm that silenced her. And she, like her "boyfriend" fell to the floor, silent until woken, or until she revived herself.

The room was silent. None of them knew what to say. Lily, with the baby in one hand and her wand in another stared down at the star-crossed lovers, so close together, with matching bitter, heartbroken expressions. James checked to see if Rose was alright too.

'Wha—' Peter whispered but he stopped himself. His thoughts were taking a turn for the worst, and he couldn't bear to think of what had just happened. Sirius had almost killed her. He hadn't been "about" to kill her or "thinking" of killing her. If not for Remus's quick disarming spell, Rose Emily Taten would be dead on the floor, the ghost of a disbelieving scream marring her face forever and eternity.

_xo _

Sirius woke up with his whole body trembling, and not because of the cold. On the contrary, it was hot and he was sweating like a pig. Lily was pressing a damp towel to his bare torso and his face.

He looked around, bewildered, as he tried to get his bearings. Then his eyes met her pitying ones. Lily bent down when his silver irises glimmered with tears, and she pecked the corner of his mouth ever so gently.

'Oh Paddy, it's okay baby, I'm here...' she whispered.

Sirius wiped his face roughly and shook his head. He opened and closed his mouth half a dozen times but no words left his mouth. He couldn't find any words adequate enough to say. He had a son! A baby, his own baby. Fifty percent him, fifty percent Rose. Hadn't Sirius wanted more than anything a legacy to leave behind if he died? Because when he was held captive by Lord Voldemort and the Death Eaters he thought that he would never live a life as full as James's. He would never have a family and a wife. And yet here he was, with a son.

Sirius felt a rippling sensation flutter through his body, and he couldn't quite decide whether it was nice or not but it was probably the former. But then pain surged through his body, beating the weird and oddly pleasant ripples in his body away.

It wasn't a physical pain, he was healed after all thanks to the Archetypus potion. It was an emotional pain. A pain in _his heart._

Pain as he realised what Rose had done to him...

She had lied and betrayed him. She ran away with his unborn son, taking away the only hopes of Sirius ever staying home. And he had missed the birth of his son! His son's first cry! His first feed! His first smile! He missed the very things that James and him had experienced with Harry, the things that grounded them and matured them from wild, crazy and impulsive twenty year olds to slightly wild, slightly crazy and still-fucking-impulsive twenty year olds. Sirius didn't know if he would ever be able to leave again without the heartbreaking thought of her running off with his son, he couldn't even bear the thought.

Rose, oh Rosie Rose.

All those kisses she had given him, the times she had told him she loved him and trusted him, the moments when she begged him to trust her. The day she told him she wanted him and only him. The day she got the tattoo. The day she declared James was no longer apart of her heart.

All those memories with Rose, they were lies. All of them! Rose ... _Rose_ was a lie.

Sirius knew he couldn't stop loving her in the space of a few hours, especially when she was his heart, but right now he had never hated anyone so much. Not Voldemort, not Malfoy or Snape, not even his Father. Sirius still loved Rose, he knew he always would forever and eternity, like they always said to one another. But now he hated her; he hated her so bad.

Sirius turned his head to see that Harry was asleep on the bed with him, a few inches away. On the cabinet were a collection of potions: Dreamless Sleep, Pain Relief, Blood Replenishing and Energy Boosters. Sirius appraised the Dreamless Sleep potion distastefully.

'Oh darling, that's not for you. It's ... it's for Rose.' Lily whispered, kissing his forehead and wiping his tears with her thumb. 'You tried to kill her.' She breathed after a long moment of staring at his face. She watched the expressions of confusion flicker across his face.

'Did I?' he asked. And then he remembered, with a pained whimper. He remembered the sharp flash of inside Lord Voldemort's mind; the man had been angry, furious over something. Something had come over Sirius, he didn't know if he had been possessed or not, but it had felt like he had. He remembered advancing toward her, with James's wand in his hand and the Killing Curse on his tongue.

Sirius wasn't sure if he'd rather Lily know he had been possessed by Voldemort, or have her thinking he was capable of murdering his life-long love. Probably the latter.

'You think she doesn't deserve it?' he whispered, clutching the redhead's hand tighter in his own.

Lily shook her head softly. 'No, no she doesn't.'

There was a pregnant silence, and then Sirius exhaled. 'A boy...' he breathed in awe, looking up at the ceiling to try and blink away the tears that fell anyway. Then he laughed sharply; harshly. 'And I don't even know his name! What's his name?'

Lily smoothed his soft, silky hair. She smiled hesitantly. 'He's called ... Rose named him Sirius James.'

Sirius frowned, but continued looking up at the ceiling as more tears avalanched down. 'I ... I would never have called him that. When was he born?'

Lily bit her lip. 'He was born about twenty minutes after you were captured I think. Twenty fourth of November. She named him after you because she thought she would never see you again. She knew she'd lose you; she _thought_ she already had lost you—'

'And has she?' Someone asked from the doorway. It was James. He had a cigarette in his mouth, and looked so far gone that he didn't care if Lily saw him smoking. His eyes were red, evidence that he hadn't slept and had probably been crying.

James closed the door behind him and took in the scene. His hazel eyes bored into Sirius's own grey ones that still sparkled with the tears he barely managed to hold back.

'H-Has she lost you Pads? Have we lost ... Have _I _lost you? My best friend—my brother!'

Sirius's eyes roamed James's body, noticing the small differences in his appearance. He seemed a little bigger. His skin was stark white, like snow, and his hair was longer, giving it a wilder look. And where was that ever-fixed smile?

Sirius felt something tickle the back of his neck, and then he felt a sharp pain. He cried out in horror. Turning to see what it was, he instead saw a tail flicker into view.

'_Stop!_' he hissed angrily. Weren't they supposed to be gone? Weren't they supposed to have left him and joined forces with Lord Voldemort?

'Seems like,' whispered the kitten, scrunching up her nose adorably, 'we'll be staying for a while.'

Sirius groaned a long groan, throwing back his head and crying freely. He didn't care anymore. He had a son, he'd lost his mind, and his heart was breaking. When he looked back up after a long time of crying, Lily's eyes were wide as saucers and James's face, if possible, was whiter.

His friend stared at him hard for a second and then said quietly, 'We're leaving now Lils. Get Sirius ready and be downstairs in half an hour. Remus is practising his long-lasting Disillusionment Charms.' Then he closed the door quietly behind him.

_xo _

To say there were a few Death Eaters was a lie. Half the force must have flooded to Godric's Hollow on Voldemort's command. They were everywhere; near the church, guarding the pub, outside the post office – they were quite literally everywhere. And even the slightest sound had them turn sharply, their wands swishing out from under their long cloak.

James was holding his sleeping son in one hand, and kept his Invisibility Cloak around them with the other. He was walking at a slow pace, just behind Remus who had a brilliant Disillusionment Charm cast on himself and the others. Even his breathing was restricted and quiet. The children had Silencing Charms put on them; namely because SJ was screaming his head off – he didn't like being held by Sirius, who eventually handed the baby over to Lily.

A boy, _a boy!_ He had a boy! Sirius still didn't know how to take in the news. He had a son! Why wasn't he jumping for joy or dancing or crying of happiness?

Because he'd missed the first few months of his son's life. Because he wasn't mentally stable and wouldn't be able to care for his son. Because Rose had broken his heart. Sirius determinedly looked away from her every time her eyes met his. She cried silently as they walked at a slow and careful pace from Godric's Hollow.

He didn't care though. He wanted to strangle her. A few hours ago he had tried, but James had thrown him back. 'Why are you trying to _kill_ her Padfoot?' James had asked.

'Because she's killed part of me.' Sirius had replied patiently. Then he turned away to go find solace in watching his sleeping son and drinking in the sight of a boy that he barely knew, a boy that barely recognised him and cried every time he saw Sirius.

It took a few hours to get out of Godric's Hollow. Their feet were aching and they couldn't distinguish one another. Several times Sirius had walked into someone, one of those people being Rose. She had jumped away before he could do much damage though.

Finally, just on the outskirts of the town, in the middle of an icy stretch of land, did Remus call loud enough for all of them to hear, that they should stop.

Sirius sighed in relief when the Disillusionment Charm was stripped off of him and he fell to the floor, pulling off his shoes and massaging his feet. Falling to the ground besides him tiredly was Lily, who rested her head against his shoulder. 'They'll just be setting up the tents now. You'll be bunking with me and James.'

'So you can keep an eye on me.' Sirius whispered quietly. 'To make sure I don't kill Rose.'

Lily looked up, biting her lip and then nodding. 'To make sure you don't do anything you'll later regret.'

'I don't think,' he breathed, 'I'd ever regret killing her.'

'You say that now...'

_xo _

The Marauders (save Sirius who didn't have a wand) and Lily and Rose had put up charms to protect the tents – Muffliato, Invisibility Charms, Scent-Snuffing Spells and the likes. They wouldn't be found, not till the morning which by then they'd be gone and it would be too late.

Sirius had begged for the first round of guarding and watching. It had taken an hour to persuade them, James giving in last, that he needed fresh air and time to think and hurt and feel what she'd made him feel; the feeling of betrayal and pain. _Such pain._

Sirius also wanted to spend some quality time with his son, whom he held in his arms. He looked down at the boy, so similar to him apart from the scarlet full lips. Rose's lips. He leant down and pressed a kiss to the soft skin of SJ's forehead.

'I didn't even know about you yesterday.' He breathed into his son's ear, who continued to look up questioningly, an intelligent frown on his face. 'Do you recognise me? I'm your Father.'

'Fifty percent of who you are comes from this great dog besides me.' A voice said mockingly, and sliding into the space between Sirius and the fire cackling away was James. 'I can't sleep with you up. I'm scared something'll happen to you.'

'More like scared of something I'll do.'

'That too.' James replied patiently. He moved closer so that his elbow was brushing Sirius's and he looked down at his nephew. 'He looks so much like you. It'd be more believable that Emanuelle Danté's the Mother instead of Rose.'

Sirius flinched at the use of Rose's name. He had never despised someone so much in his life. He still couldn't quiet get his head around the fact that not only had she betrayed him but she had lied to him. James noticed this and dropped his head to his friend's shoulder. 'I'm so sorry,' he whispered. 'I'm so sorry Paddy, if there was anything I could do—'

'But there isn't. There isn't anything you can do.' Sirius replied just as quietly. He touched his son's nose gently, who made a funny face and whimpered softly. Sirius withdrew his finger and sighed. 'Unless of course you can tell me this is a joke. This is all a joke. I haven't got a son and Rose never betrayed me and ran away with my baby. If you could do that, then I'm _begging you_ James, do it.'

There was just silence, and Sirius was answered with the fact that nothing was going to change and what was happening right now was reality for the rest of his life. Only the noise of the cackling golden fire besides them and their breathing could be heard. There was the snap of a twig but upon closer inspection, the Marauders saw that it was just a fox.

'I could tell you about him. I have taken care of him for most of his short life.'

Sirius looked up with glassy eyes, the yet-to-fall tears seeping back into their tear ducts. 'Yes please.' He breathed.

James smiled and put an arm around his friend's shoulder as they stared down at the baby who looked back just as haughtily and just as patiently. 'He has an arse like yours.'

Sirius gave a watery chuckle. 'Trust you to say something as gay as that.'

'Oi! Don't interrupt me. Where was I? Oh yeah. He's just like you. He's been crying quite a bit lately but when he first came he barely cried, even when he was hungry or needed to be changed or held. And he's intelligent. Fuck! You wouldn't _believe _how intelligent he is at only a few months old. I showed him a picture of R – his Mother and he stopped crying. And when I call her? Well he shuts up right away because he knows she's on her way.'

Sirius was now so intrigued in the conversation that he hadn't noticed his son slip away into blissful sleep.

'He's a morning person like you. He's also a midnight person, and an early-hours-in-the-fucking-morning person. He loves when Lily plays her records, he shuts right up too. And sometimes – the pervy little kid – he doesn't like drinking milk from his mummy's tits, he prefers to just play with them.'

Sirius laughed quietly and stared at his friend's face with both an expression of fondness and yearning. Sirius felt a bitter stab of jealousy and anger. This was his son! Yet James knew more about SJ than he did. He quickly wiped his eyes and then looked up eagerly, ready for James to tell him some more.

His friend's arm stayed around him as he told stories about the baby; stories about what he liked to do and how he was put to sleep. He remembered his eyes closing more often than before, and he remembered yawning. But soon, he fell asleep. To the sound of his son's breathing and his best friend's stories.

_xo _

It took two days of travel on foot to get to the place James and Peter had discovered; the herd of Thestrals. Only Rose couldn't see them. And the children of course. But all the others could see. At first, they frightened Sirius. He had only ever seen a Thestral once before, in his sixth year.

They were terrifying creatures, with skeletal bodies and ominous eyes. And these weren't Hagrid's tame ones, but instead the wild ones that weren't as well trained.

But they had to take a risk. Sirius was the first to jump onto the back of a Thestral and it made a noise between a roar and a whimper. He hit it hard and it quietened down.

'Prongs! Set Silencing Charms on the Thestrals.' He shouted before taking off into the sky, Remus flicking his wand and recasting the Disillusionment Charm. The Thestral wasn't patient, and Sirius tried as hard as he could to tame it and stop it from shooting into the sky. Finally, after ten minutes of trying to get Rose onto a Thestral, did they shoot off into the skies.

Sirius led the way. He didn't know where the hell they were but when they saw a high street and found out they were in the south of Birmingham, he knew how to get them to London. And from London he could get them to his old home.

It was painful riding the Thestral; they were bony creatures who liked to take their own routes. And with a jolt Sirius realised that the Thestrals already knew how to get to Grimmauld Place.

He didn't know who was flying besides him but he could see the Thestral. Then he heard a muffled moan and he knew it was Lily with Harry. They were flying fast and hard and it was exhilarating. Sirius was gasping for air as the Thestral surged forward whilst the night crept closer.

It was breathtaking, flying over the moors and the hills as the Thestrals navigated themselves. James's laughter could be heard echoing over their heads as the speed grew, and Sirius grit his teeth when he heard Rose beg for Remus to hold her tighter.

He'd never wanted to rip someone's throat out so much. She made him sick with hatred and pain. He'd never been in such pain. How could she do this to him? Did she not care for him? Two words! It would have taken only two words to make him stay – 'I'm pregnant.'

But instead, as usual, she took the difficult and painful route. He was so hurt and betrayed by her. She wasn't his anymore, all those days he'd spent with Voldemort, all those days he spent thinking of her. Before he knew it he was crying again – he'd never cried so much in his entire life! He could hear the others flying besides him but he couldn't see them, only the Thestrals. It lulled him into a false sense of security and he let all those emotions bottled up out.

Before long, Lily complained that Harry was hungry and she needed to pee. They stopped at a Muggle bar, splitting into two groups. Lily, Sirius and the children went to one side whilst the others went to the next table.

Lily put her hand on his own and touched his cheek affectionately. 'Are you okay?'

He shook his head and wiped his runny nose with the jumper he was wearing – James's jumper. 'I-I c-can't get ... o-o-over – it ...' he breathed shakily as he buried his face in his hands. Lily put an arm around him, ignoring Harry who was now crying loudly – they had taken the Silencing Charms off the babies.

'We're all here for you Padfoot. I und — you know what, I _don't _understand. Not at all. I'm not going to pretend I do Paddy! But he's here, your son is here, and sitting wallowing at the pain she's caused you isn't going to bring back the months you've lost. Look down at him. Look at him!'

He looked down to stare into those eyes identical to his. Lily seized his face and turned it so he faced her. 'He's here Paddy, your baby is here, and we're here.'

She brushed his tears away and kissed his forehead long and hard. 'We might not live another day, another hour, another _minute_ but right now, take your moment.'

'H-He doesn't re-recognise me,' stuttered Sirius, breathing in sharply.

'Well _make_ him recognise you. It's only been a few days.' Her voice was so soothing and soft, Sirius felt like sleeping all of a sudden.

'I-I don't know h-how to d-do any of this!' he cried angrily. 'She's had almost a y-year to co-come to terms with this! I've h-had a few days Lily! I don't know w-what ... what t-to do with my _s-son_,' the word hurt to say.

'Lies!' Lily screamed, ignoring the fact that all of the others were now watching them, including her, including Rose. 'You're lying Sirius! You're looking for an excuse so that when you fuck up you'll have something to fall back on! I've seen you with Harry, me and James didn't make you a godfather for no reason. You'll fail sometimes, everyone does. You'll mess up and you'll lose yourself sometimes but it's part of maturing and becoming a parent. So don't give me any of that shit! If you don't try Padfoot, you'll never know.'

Sirius tried to come to terms with the fact that not only had Lily sworn twice, but she had also turned very red and very angry. He opened and closed his mouth several times. He dropped his head when he realised that he didn't know what to say back to her.

Lily's expression softened. 'Oh, come here Paddy,' and she wrapped her arms around him as he nestled his face into her neck. Her soothing strokes on his back calmed him down and soon, after they ate and sorted out the children, they took back off to London.

It was very early in the morning when they finally were in the block, right besides Grimmauld Park. It was everything Sirius remembered it to be; his worst nightmare.

The houses were all the same, old and large. There were a few smaller ones clustered together, with cute small front gardens and gnomes still as stone. This was just a small price to pay for coming to a Muggle neighbourhood. Sirius remembered all the times his Mother would complain about the Muggles and he'd reply that this was their own fault for coming to Grimmauld Place, London's Muggle central.

As soon as they jumped off the Thestrals, the wild animals took off into the sky and vanished into the darkness. Sirius sighed painfully, gasping as he turned to take in the view. The others followed him even though they all knew how to get to his old home, save the women.

And in between Number Eleven and Number Thirteen, merging into view before their eyes, was Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place, also known as Sirius Black's old childhood home. The houses were neglected, a bit like the others. But Sirius's old home was very handsome. It was also very large, larger than the others beside it. As well as being tall, the front door had a snake for a knocker.

A moving snake. Sirius shivered, and as he made to open the gate, it hissed at him.

'Sirius Black,' the gate hissed, forming to shape a mouth. 'You're disowned.'

'Open.' His voice was tired and extremely impatient. He looked ready to snap.

'You ran away at the age of sixteen. The amount of times I remember you sneaking out and begging me to stay quiet. I feel guilty now for betraying your Mother and Father. The Great Walburga and Orion Black.'

Sirius's face snapped back. He bared his teeth and threw off the restraining hand of James's that went on his shoulder. 'You better move _now._'

'I shan't be disobeying your Mother simply for a stupid young _boy _who has come home now he's realised how tough the real world is.'

Sirius threw his head back and laughed bitterly. 'You're talking about disobeying? All those women you'd let into the house for my Father. All those lies you would tell my Mother, saying you never let any woman through the gate, how _disobeying and untruthful_ were you?'

The face the gate had formed slacked. As it opened, they could all hear its hissing. 'Filthy blood traitor,' it whispered. Sirius kicked the gate shut behind them with a growl, and only James could calm him, putting his hands on Sirius's shoulders and telling his friend to breathe in and out.

'I've never hated a place so much,' he whispered, turning to face his old home. It had gotten a little gritty compared to how it looked the last time he had come here, when his Father had still been alive and Alphard's funeral ceremony had commenced.

But the front garden was neat, the door was shiny like copper and the stone steps was clean. Sirius told them to stay back, his eyes meeting Rose's for a brief second.

He closed his eyes and pictured, when this whole mess was over, some dark haired beauty making him breakfast. Besides him would be his son, only two or three years old and adamantly begging to feed himself. Sirius would laugh and hand his son the spoon, reaping the consequences of split milk and a shattered bowl. But in this vision, this dream, the dark haired woman turned and her hair grew long, so long it touched her buttocks. And it turned gold, a shimmering gold like a galleon. Because for Sirius, only Rose could be his girl. Even after everything she had done, forever she would be his.

He lifted his hand, sighed, and knocked hard. There was a silence, a long silence. Then the door was thrown open.

But it wasn't Walburga Black who answered the door, quite the opposite. It was Snape. Severus Snape. And at that precise moment, the moment Sirius's eyes met Snape's, he fell to his knees and called out quietly in pain.

_xo _

Lord Voldemort had never been so angry. Sure, he had felt fury before. But the one day, _the one day_ he let his confidence get to him, confidence that the Death Eaters could take care of Sirius for a whole night, the man had disappeared; the man had been rescued.

How could Voldemort have missed it! There had been a rescue mission only the full moon before! But the people who had allowed Sirius Black to be taken were now dead. Oh yes, Lord Voldemort had killed the Death Eaters that had survived the massacre – which had only been four. They were weaklings, new recruits.

But now, _now,_ he felt a sparkle of some of that lost happiness! In his hands was the diadem, Ravenclaw's diadem. After much persuasion the ghost of Ravenclaw had finally told him the story. With some magical aid, he appeared as handsome as he once had been. She was putty in his hands. She told him the whole tale of the Bloody Baron and the incident that left her dead.

After Lord Voldemort had the whole story, he sent a group of Death Eaters to go to the forest in Albania she had been talking about and bring him back the diadem. The punishment they would receive if they returned empty handed had been enough to have the wizards and witches scour the forest on hands and knees.

And now, kneeled before Lord Voldemort were the Death Eaters presenting the diadem. It was old and ancient and not particularly nice to look at. But it symbolised power, intelligence and greatness. And soon it would symbolise part of Lord Voldemort's soul.

He threw back his head triumphantly and laughed. Sirius Black could run and he could hide but not for long. With immortality, power and disposable wizards and witches on his side, Lord Voldemort only had one thing left to conquer – Sirius Orion Betelgeuse Black.

_xo _

Sirius gasped for breath, holding James's hand tightly and sobbing into the hand. He didn't care if Snape was there before him; he had more important things on his mind.

'A horcrux,' Sirius gasped. 'He's making another!'


	35. Surprise After Surprise

_Disclaimer; I do not own anything but the plot, some spells and potions and the OCs. _

_A/N: This __story has got a few more chapters to go, it might go up to about 40 or 45 chapters. I'm going to start the sequel soon, yes, a sequel! - I'm not in the mood to end this story so quickly, the sequel will be much better than this story, I promise. But thank you so much for the reviews I've gotten so far._

_Btw I'd just like to express how happy I am that there are more characters available for the story-summaries now, and the whole cover-picture thing rocks!_

_Take care & enjoy!_

* * *

><p><em>xoxo<em>

_35. Surprise After Surprise_

It was hard to get Sirius into the house. He was besides himself; with eyes like burning coals and his Dark Mark redder than blood. He was dragged by Remus and Peter into the drawing room, where portraits were hung and the smell of negligence lingered on the furniture.

It took a Stunning Charm and a Revival Spell to get Sirius out of his deranged state. Voldemort was making a new horcrux, they weren't easy to make and they certainly did not take a day to make; much longer in fact. But the question was just _how_ long did they have?

'He's making a horcrux,' Sirius breathed aloud. He appraised the faces of everyone before him. His Marauders, Lily holding his son, Harry, _her_, Snape. Wait, Snape? Snape!

'Wha—' Sirius began but James silenced him.

'What did you see? H-How do you _know?_ Tell me something, _anything_ Sirius, please!' He pleaded.

But it wasn't Sirius who responded, instead it Snape. Severus Snape. 'Isn't it obvious Potter?' his voice was bitter. 'Look at his eyes, his _mark_. Look at him and tell me what you see inside.'

There was a tensed silence, then: 'Voldemort.' Remus breathed, stepping closer to Sirius and taking his arm to inspect the glistening Dark Mark, so unlike any other Death Eater's. 'What did he _do_ to you Padfoot?'

Sirius however wasn't answering any of their questions. So far, the only horcrux was the locket. And if they didn't act soon, Rowena Ravenclaw's diadem would become the second. Were there any others that Sirius didn't know about? Did he have to destroy some more? What was it he had to destroy anyway? What was a horcrux?

He stood up but fell back down again. His whole body was trembling. Noise filled his ears: the screams of SJ, Harry's incomprehensible complaints, James's questions, Lily's pleading – it was all too much.

'BE QUIET!' Sirius roared as angrily as he could. It must have been wandless magic because even though James's mouth was moving furiously, no noise came out. The whole house was still and silent. Sirius closed his eyes, ignoring the hands tugging, pulling and shaking him. It was all so silent. It was perfect. It gave him the chance to think for a while, especially when he ignored Rose's hands clutching him. His eyes stayed shut even when she slapped him to try and gain his attention. He especially ignored when she smacked her lips on his, something, anything to try and regain his attention. But Sirius was dead inside right now. He could feel it. Something hollow inside him expanding.

He pulled his lips away from Rose's with a jolt and listened to the conversation commencing before him. The spell must have broken. Damn, he'd really been enjoying the silence.

'— are you here?' It was Lily's voice, more fragile and quiet then Sirius had ever heard it.

There was a stretch of quietness but soon, Severus answered. 'Walburga and I had a meeting. She left for a bit and told me to stay here. She said she'd be back soon.'

'How long has she been gone?' James's voice was lifeless and monotonous. He was so far past the point of pain; emotional and mental, to really care anymore. The only thing keeping him going was his family; Harry and Lily and his Marauders. But this war was draining every ounce of power from inside him. He felt himself going cold. When was he going to pass the point of ever being able to come back to his old self?

Severus looked at the dead, lifeless man before him. He was secretly happy Potter was feeling the pain he deserved. 'About an hour.'

'What was the meeting about?' Lily asked. She'd never sounded so timid, but James stepped closer to her and threw an arm around her shoulders, bending only for a short second to whisper something in her ear. It seemed to give her the strength she lacked and Lily straightened up.

Severus pretended not to care but he felt a painful stab inside him. He looked at their son, only a few inches away from them and desperately holding onto the end of Remus Lupin's robes.

'That matter concerns me and only me.' Severus replied coldly. He sat down on the settee and watched the group of mismatched, confused and tired wizards and witches standing before him. 'But I have however got a question for you myself. You've said the word – no, _he's_ said the word "horcrux" more than once. Are you talking about the Dark Lord making a horcrux?'

'Yes.' Sirius's voice was hoarse. He stood up despite himself. 'Yes. He's already got one. He's making another; Ravenclaw's lost diadem.'

Severus exhaled heavily. 'I told him where to go if he wanted to know how to find it. And he's going to make a _horcrux_ out of it?' Only him and Sirius seemed to realise the intensity of the situation. 'Wait, do you even know what a horcrux is?' Severus said to the others.

Lily shook her head, a mane of red waves cascading over her shoulders and falling to frame her face. 'No. And we won't know unless you explain, _Snape_.'

It hurt more than anything, more than Voldemort's torture, more than finding out Lily was marrying James, more than _anything_ to have her look at him as though he was an animal, a monster. And the way she said his name...

He cleared his throat. 'A horcrux is made from the death of someone. It is made by a spell that rips the soul into pieces. As many pieces as one wishes, though no one would ever stray past one piece—'

'Apart from Voldemort.' Interjected Sirius quietly. Snape ignored him and continued. 'But essentially, a horcrux is a piece of one's soul that is hidden in an artefact, be it a necklace or a crown. As long as that object with the soul inside it is safe, the person to whom the soul belongs to can never die. You could destroy the Dark Lord's body a million times and he still would not die. So long as his soul survives or rather, _some _part of his soul survives, he is immortal.'

'FUCK!' James roared, kicking the glass coffee table and watching in satisfaction as it shattered. Rose mended it in a second and strode over to Lily to take her son who was now screaming at the top of his lungs once again.

She left the room with him, and Sirius watched longingly after them.

'You can go you know,' Lily whispered, running a hand through his hair subconsciously.

Sirius shook his head. 'You'd trust me with her? You'd trust me not to kill her?'

'Do _you_ trust yourself...?'

And with that Sirius had jumped up and was off, racing out of the room. James exhaled angrily. 'Peter, stay nearby to make sure he doesn't do anything—'

'James that won't be necessary.' Lily interrupted, shaking her head. 'He's calmer now.'

'And he's my best friend, my _brother_. I know what he would and wouldn't do. The poor bastard's impulsive and brash; he doesn't even know what he'll do until three seconds before he does it! You should stay nearby Peter.'

Lily grew angry, much to the satisfaction of Severus. 'Jamie! You need to trust him!'

'He's right Lils,' Remus said in a quiet voice. 'Go Peter.'

Lily huffed as Peter left the room. She turned to Severus and cocked an eyebrow. 'Whose side are you on then? You helped Sirius during his imprisonment. You led Moony out during the rescue attempt that failed. You've been helping out my side quite a bit. Whose side are you on? How do I know you won't run off and call Voldemort?'

'Trust.' Severus whispered back. 'A little thing called trust.'

Lily looked torn between laughing and frowning. She grimaced instead. 'What did you mean? When you said Voldemort was inside of him. H-How ...'

'Not even I, Evans, know what happened to him during his imprisonment. But I do know what he ... he faced things no one should face. Not even a _Marauder_—'

James barked angrily. 'My patience is wearing thin Snape! For once, stop talking in code and admit what you know or fuck off!'

Lily put a hand on his shoulder and placed a kiss on his cheek. She turned to Severus who had looked away during the whole exchange. 'Just tell me what you know Snape.'

'That's all I know about horcruxes. I don't know how one would go about destroying it but I know that they're the closest you can come to being immortal, a bit like the Philosopher's Stone. But it has flaws, nothing can—'

'Truly make you immortal. I know ... dammit.'

'My question,' Severus said, 'is why you want to know what a horcrux is. How do you even _know_ the word horcrux.'

James and Lily turned to face Remus who was lounged on the sofa and looking up at the ceiling. He felt them all looking at him and sighed. 'You want me to tell the story of Regulus then?'

'Yes please.' The Potters said in unison.

_xo_

'Don't speak to me,' Sirius whispered as he entered one of the lounges she was in. Rose looked up and met his eyes. She looked back down at her son who lay in her lap.

She nodded softly, her tangled bun loosening. Rose was in the middle of breastfeeding SJ but she couldn't concentrate because of the eyes boring into the side of her face.

Sirius looked back down from her face to admire her breast. Their son was drinking her milk and his eyes were closed, one of his tiny fists balled up and resting on her soft flesh. Rose's boobs had gotten bigger, and Sirius gazed through dazed eyes at the curve of her breast and the peachiness of her skin. The only sound was their breathing and SJ gulping more and more milk.

It had never been fascinating, watching Lily breastfeed Harry. In fact Sirius had only ever watched to annoy James who would bellow at him for ogling his wife's breasts. But suddenly, it became the most interesting thing in the world.

_I have a son,_ he repeated over and over in his head. It sort of worked. The reality was sinking more and more into him but he still couldn't believe it. Sirius half expected to wake up and find himself in the Malfoy Manor attic.

He coughed into his hand and buried his face in his hands. When Rose was finished they got up silently, exchanging no words, and made their way to the drawing room. Remus was in the middle of telling a story about the memories they had watched.

Sirius sat besides him and rested his head on his friend's shoulder. Remus continued talking but secretly revelled in the closeness between him and Sirius – but he couldn't let himself get too excited. Sirius was a loose cannon, he was unsteady. One second it'd feel like the old Sirius was back and the next second he'd go into one of those rages.

'What's this?' Sirius whispered when Lily answered the questions Severus was asking.

Remus looked down at the ancient old ring on his middle finger. 'It's a ring Emily gave me. She said whenever I need help I should think of her and kiss it.'

Sirius laughed softly, ignoring Rose when she came into the room. 'She fancies you, she does.'

'She "fancies", if you really want to use such a childish word, my blood. It's the taste and scent of my blood that attracts her. Not me.'

'Come off it!' Sirius protested, looking up and raising an eyebrow. 'You're gorgeous! That pale bint likes you because you're tanned and gorgeous and sexy, not because of your ... well not _only_ because of your luscious blood.'

Remus barked a laugh and threw an arm around Sirius, ruffling his fine silky hair. 'I've missed you so much.'

Sirius looked up with the same smile on his face, a smile that showed both his confusion and his pain. 'Can I ask you a question?' he said softly.

'Of course Pads.'

'She stayed with you for a few weeks right? And my son. My son stayed with you.'

Remus nodded hesitantly. 'Rose named me his godfather. I was there when your son was born.'

Sirius closed his eyes and exhaled. 'H-How ... was he born alright?'

'He was in the best state.' Remus said in a comforting manner. 'No complications. He came ... straight out.'

Sirius swallowed shakily. 'Y-You watched then? You watched him coming out. No, don't be hesitant Moony. I don't care what you saw, I just want to know, I just want to _imagine_ I was there!'

'I watched for a bit. It made me a little nauseous though, so I went back to comforting her...' when Remus saw the heartbroken expression he touched his friend's arm. 'When this whole mess is over Padfoot, I'll give you my memories. You could watch them. It'll be like you were almost there.'

'But I wasn't. I missed it. I missed when my _son_ was born! My first child! I didn't even know he existed until a few days ago Moony. And it's all her fault! None of this would have happened if she had _told _me.'

Rose was in the room but Sirius talked about her like she wasn't. His voice had risen so loud that all the others were plucked from their individual conversations.

Severus was amused, Lily was concerned, Peter was trying to act like he wasn't there and James seemed on the verge of jumping up and defusing the situation.

Rose turned a startled glance to Sirius who was glaring at her with such passion she shivered. 'I said I was sorry.' Rose whispered, cuddling her baby closer to her. 'Take anything you want, _do _anything you want to me Sirius, I'm _so, so sorry_. I'm so sorry I feel like I could die! But I don't know what you want from me, what I can do—'

'You could give me those two months you've taken from me. You could leave and never come back. You could die—'

'Sirius!' James roared, jumping up and standing in front of Rose in a protective stance. 'That's not cool man, you can't say that to her! You don't know what she's been through.'

'AND YOU KNOW WHAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH?' bellowed Sirius, a deranged expression taking over his wounded and angry one. His eyes were popping out of their sockets and his fists were balled.

James seemed to realise what he said and his face became apologetic. 'I'm sorry. I didn't mean that.'

'No, you were just jumping into Rose's defence like you _always do!_ She's capable of standing up to herself; you've witnessed enough of our fights.'

She looked down at her son who had started crying loudly. 'What does this mean? Now you know about him. What does this mean for us Sirius?'

'It means that you're as much of a bitch and a traitor – NO JAMES, JUST SHUT UP! Fuck! It means Rose that you're everything my Mother said you are; only you're worse. She never put liar on the list—'

'What do you want from me?' Rose spat, roughly putting her son in the arms of Peter and standing up. Sirius stood up too. 'I've apologised, and I've know that's not enough to fix what's happened between us. But I'm willing to try _anything, _babe, to fix this. Anything to try and fix this thing between us.'

Sirius felt a flash of pain and he saw inside the mind of Lord Voldemort, mulling over a potion book and talking aloud about ingredients to someone who was chained to the wall.

He snapped out of his reverie and staggered a little. His eyes flickered back to Rose and he glared at her.

'That's just it Rose! We can't! We can't fix this! You've ruined _everything _between us. Almost seven years of being together, breaking up, getting back together; seven years of history – you've destroyed it.'

She stepped closer, pulling her wrist out of James's grip. 'We can rebuild it,' Rose whispered, her voice barely audible over SJ's screams.

Sirius shook his head, looking up at the ceiling to try and blink away the tears. 'We can't. You've ruined all of it.'

Rose was now so close she could smell him. 'We can write new history.'

'We can't.' His voice was faint; like a breath in the wind ... fading. 'Every time I look at you or think of you all I'll be able to feel is the pain, the _pain_ you've inflicted Rose.'

She reached out to touch his face but he slapped her hand away. 'Don't touch me! DON'T TOUCH ME! Never _ever_ touch me again Rose.' His voice was like a tempest; his eyes were stormy grey with a flicker of red. Rose had never been so scared of him in her life. She stepped back cautiously.

'What does this mean for us?' She asked, her voice weakening and the first round of tears falling.

'For us? _Us?_ There never was an "us" Rose. Maybe there was sometimes a "me and you" or "you and me". But we never worked well together, think of me as "The Guy Who Knocked You Up" if you want. I don't care anymore; I don't care about you anymore.' His voice was both collected and hard. It sounded like he was trying ever so much to stop himself from throttling her.

'B-But I love you—'

'I DON'T CARE!' He stepped forward, forcing the restraining hand that belonged to Remus off of his shoulder. 'I don't care Rose! Go find someone else to love or do whatever it is you want me to do!'

She whispered something so quietly none of them could hear.

'Don't be shy Rosie! Speak up, where's the fierce brave girl I fell in love with?'

'So it's over then?' she hissed, 'we're over?' her hair had exploded out of its bun and fell in long loops and curls to cover her back and her chest. Her face was as scarlet as her lips and she seemed a little embarrassed but when she looked around, Rose saw that the room was empty save her and Sirius. She sighed in relief. So they'd left to give the two some time to talk. 'You're going to throw it all away?' she asked in a quieter voice.

'All you needed to say was two words. Right from that period you became indifferent towards me up until two weeks later when you boarded that plane and left. All you had to say were two words – "I'm pregnant." I wouldn't have done anything. I wouldn't have ... have hurt you or made you kill it just like all the other woman I've knocked up before have done. I always said to them they could keep the baby if they wanted, I'd be there for them to offer support.

'But with you it's different Rose. I wouldn't have let you abort my baby _ever_ because, as distorted as it seems, I can see some sort of future with you. Or rather, I _saw_ some sort of future with you. You're one of the fiercest people I know! It wouldn't take much for the Great Rose Emily Taten to stand up and tell me one of the millions of sperm I'd ejaculated into her had gotten through.'

'But the way you _spoke_ ... about starting a family and marrying each other during a war. I thought...'

Sirius exhaled angrily. He turned away so he wouldn't face her and instead was confronted with the huge picture of him and his brother eighteen years ago. Sirius was four in the portrait and Regulus was three. They were hugging and pinching each other, giggling at the camera. Both boys looked like twins, the same wavy black tresses falling into their pale and perfectly featured faces. They were beautiful, and seemed almost out of reach.

The picture was in colour, an extremely expensive commodity that Walburga and Orion had wanted to show off in the drawing room. Besides it were more family photos of all the places and holidays they'd had up until Sirius ran away.

In one of the pictures he could see how unhappy his parents were, holding hands and staring straight at the lens whilst a young Sirius and Regulus were running around in the distance. An empty shell marriage. Sirius didn't want that! He was sure if he stayed with Rose without time to find himself, without time to truly forgive her, it'd be a loveless marriage, like his parent's.

'Rose it's over. We're over now. Go get fucked or whatever it is whores do. Meanwhile I'll be risking my life for my son who I _barely _know.'

She gasped, a hand flying to her mouth as she watched him with shock and anger. Rose was barely managing to contain her fury. She balled her fists and hurried out of the room leaving Sirius alone. That was until in came someone. Something. Something small. Something small and ugly.

'_Kreacher_,' Sirius hissed in anger. He had hoped to never see something so hideous and horrid again. This elf was the main reason for all his pain during the years he'd grown up here in the House of Black.

Kreacher looked like he was going to faint. He opened and closed his eyes several times. 'M-Master S-Sirius?' he gasped, stepping back a little. Then he composed himself, baring his teeth. 'You has returned? You is staying here in The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black? You is defiling this house even _more?_ Why is you HERE?' The elf looked furious and his fists had balled.

'What am I doing here?' Sirius asked, turning to face the elf and straightening up to his full height. 'Regulus is _dead_ Kreacher. I'm back to being the heir to the House of Black. This is _my _home. Now go hang yourself or whatever it is that'll kill you the fastest.'

Kreacher looked like he was ready to explode. He started writhing and spitting, stomping on the spot. '_You filthy, FILTHY,_ _blood-traitor! How dare you besmirch t'is house with your filthiness? You should have died! Not Reg! Not Master Reg! You should—_'

Sirius, before he knew what he was doing, kicked the elf as hard as he could. The elf flew into the wall, screaming in pain as he connected head first.

The Marauders burst into the room before Sirius could even comprehend what he had just done. They managed to restrain him but he continued shouting threats at the elf. '—SO MUCH AS LOOK AT ME AND I'LL WRING YOUR FUCKING NECK! YOU FILTHY, DIRTY LITTLE ELF!'

Kreacher barely managed to escape Sirius's clutches, hissing insults under his breath as he hurried from the room.

'Calm down Padfoot, breathe mate, you're turning blue,' James whispered, placing his hands on either side of Sirius's head and forcing his friend to look at him squarely in the face.

Sirius breathed in and out, closing his eyes and pretending he wasn't here, in the House of Black, a place he had wished never to visit again. He pretended that he didn't have a son and Rose had never betrayed him. But it didn't work.

He sighed and opened his eyes, letting Remus drag him off to the sofa to sit down. 'I'm so hungry.' He whispered, running a hand over his tired face. 'And I'm tired.'

'Lily's making you another potion to match with the Archetypus potion, it's quick to make and should be done soon. I'll make you something to eat and then you can go bed, okay?' James said, patting his knee.

Sirius yawned and nodded. 'I would never want to stay here, but if Kreacher was dead or gone then I wouldn't mind too much ... and if Rose wasn't here ... hmm — is Mother back then?'

Peter shook his head. 'Snape said she'll be coming back soon. She was supposed to be back when we arrived. It can't be much longer.'

'Where's Snape? Where's Rose?' Sirius asked.

Severus was in the kitchen, helping Lily make the final potion for Sirius. She had asked him to help only because she knew that it would be quicker and easier. Lily also knew that she owed him. He was helping her friends and her family, he was helping _her._ The least she could do was offer him some sort of escape from James and the others. Some time alone together, like they had so often done before the end of fifth year incident.

Lily wasn't dumb; she knew Severus was still in love with her. She knew all he was doing was for her, risking his life and everything he believed in just to save her. How could she repay that? How could she make him see how much she loved him? She didn't love him in the way he wanted, but he was her first friend, her first true friend. Marlene McKinnon and Emanuelle Danté were friends, good friends, but Severus had been her best friend. He was so funny, he could be kind and he could be sweet. But she'd broken his heart when she stopped talking to him, when she started dating James, when she married him, when she gave birth to Harry. Time and time again, Lily Evans Potter broke Severus Snape's heart. And time and time again he came back to her, helping and aiding in any way she wanted or needed him to.

Lily breathed in shakily as she cut the last fairy-wing. 'I-I'm sorry,' she whispered, her voice barely audible over the cackling of the potion contents in the cauldron.

But Snape heard. He was in the middle of chopping some beetroots and he sliced open his finger, a shallow but long cut. He swore and dropped the knife, lifting his finger to inspect it.

Lily stared at his black eyes; shiny as a ruby but darker than even shadows. She had always loved his eyes.

He dropped it absentmindedly, about to return cutting the beetroots when Lily chuckled and took his hand, tapping the finger with her wand and sealing the cut. 'You're just the same.' She said fondly. 'Choosing the potion over a possible infection. It's endearing to see you haven't changed as much as I thought you would.'

Severus bit his lip and looked down, trying hard to tame his feelings. 'What are you sorry for?' he asked curiously.

Lily set down her wand and moved so she was directly opposite Severus. She leaned against the table and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. 'I'm sorry for not keeping in contact. I'm sorry for throwing away _years_ of friendship. I'm sorry for being a bad friend and always making you choose between Avery, Mulciber and them lot ... a-and me.'

Severus chewed his lip, turning around to stir the cauldron and thanking the heavens that he had an excuse to cover his face. He didn't want her to see his teary eyes. He stirred it slowly more times than it required and set down the ladle.

'You don't need to apologise L-Lily.' He said softly. 'The loss of a friendship is never down to one person.' His voice was as silky smooth and as comforting as Lily remembered it.

She smiled hesitantly when he turned to face her. But the moment was ruined when Sirius stormed into the kitchen, stopping before a cupboard, knocking a cabinet three times and then waiting a few seconds before knocking twice again. It popped open just as it said: 'Master Sirius, nice to see my best customer return. What d'ya want?'

'Two ... no, _three_ bottles of firewhiskey and three bottles of Brutus's beer please.'

There was a loud snap and then six bottles appeared. Sirius collected them and thanked the cabinet, not even sparing a glance to the others as he kicked open the door leading into the garden. It slammed shut behind him.

Lily watched after him for a long time. 'Should I...'

'He's old enough Lils,' someone said from the doorway. James was watching her and Severus work with such grace and passion almost jealously. 'If he wants to act like a prick then let him. I'm done babysitting him. He's in pain; let him deal with it as he pleases.' Lily nodded and James smiled tightly at her. 'Is it done then? The potion?' he asked.

Lily shook her head. 'About twenty or so minutes left.'

James stepped closer to her and edged around to see if he could spot Sirius from where he was standing. Just at that precise moment they heard an enormous crash from outside. James exhaled angrily but stayed where he was even when they heard more crashes.

'What the fuck is he doing?' exclaimed Remus, storming into the kitchen. 'He's going to kill himself.'

'If he could fall off a fifteen foot tall tree branch, drunk might I add,' James said, 'I think he can survive messing up his garden.'

'Keep an eye on him James, just because Sirius was being horrible to Rose doesn't mean you need to be horrible to him.'

James nodded absentmindedly and shrugged.

'What happened?' Lily asked, putting a hand on her husband's elbow.

'Oh, nothing, just the usual Rose and Sirius crap. And so when I just mentioned that she's in the bathroom crying, he did not like that. Not one bit.' He replied. 'What did Sirius get from here?'

'A whole lot of booze, firewhiskey and Brutus's beer, just the strongest wizarding stuff there is.' Lily said. 'So might I add, he'll probably end up _drunk_? And just like that time he fell off that fifteen foot tall branch; he might end up in St Mungos for a week again.'

James exhaled angrily, kicking one of the pots on the floor and hurrying to the back door, slamming it shut behind him. Remus nodded when Lily gave him that doe-eyed look and he followed James out.

The room back silent again, save the arguing outside and more explosions. But Lily's eyes met her old friend Severus's and they smiled at one another tentatively. That was until Harry hurried into the room, falling over twice.

'Liwls!' He cried, kicking his feet angrily. 'Liwls ... choca!' he looked furious but when Lily waved her wand and a small block of chocolate appeared in the boy's hand he grinned at her. She opened her arms and he leapt in them, plastering her face with slobbery kisses and sneezing directly in her mouth.

'Urgh. No Harry, we don't do stuff like that. It's unhygienic and dirty and ... oh, this is hopeless, you're too much like your daddy and Uncle Paddy, aren't you?'

Harry grinned, dribble coating his mouth. Lily dropped him and he hurried out of the kitchen, falling over a few times on his way out.

'He looks nothing like you.' Severus said after a while. 'Except the eyes. He has your eyes ... right down to the shape.'

Lily smiled at him softly. 'I know. I hope they don't all look like James.'

'All?'

She sighed and shook her head. 'You wouldn't want to hear my complaints about future children. I'd actually like to talk about _you_.'

'Me?' Severus asked quietly, looking up from the potion into those eyes he had dreamed and lusted for ... oh so long!

'How are _you_ doing? Have you ... have you got someone? Oh no Severus! I don't mean it like that ... shit, no, I just mean ... we haven't spoken in so long. I just want to know how you're doing.' Lily tried to ignore all the arguing and laughing from outside and surprisingly, it was very easy. She was staring at her closest friend and it felt like nothing had changed. It almost felt like nothing had changed. But the way he regarded her made Lily feel both nostalgic and guilty.

Ever since she called their friendship off, he'd had no one.

'No, I haven't got anyone. I've been too preoccupied with ... tasks from both Professor Dumbledore and the Dark Lord—'

'Don't,' Lily whispered, shaking her head. 'Don't say his name that way. Call him by his real name, call him Voldemort.'

'When you're so used,' Severus said, wiping the knife and popping it into its sheath, 'it's hard to break the habit. I've been saying it for years, I doubt even you Evans, could stop me from saying it, as special as you think you are.'

Lily looked taken back, stepping away from him for a moment. There it was again, that protective cocoon he liked to wrap himself in when things got too much. His emotions were riding too high, he was offending her to try and restore some of his self-righteousness.

Lily frowned and turned away from him so he couldn't see her face. She missed him so much. James was everything she needed; he was a friend, a lover, a husband and a partner. But he wasn't a _best_ friend. No one was a best friend; no one could replace Severus, ever.

'Call him what you want then. After all, you've always liked Voldemort and his ideals. I don't even know why you've bothered changing sides.'

Then she turned away sharply and set her eyes forward, watching in anticipation the potion that was close to being done. After ten more minutes of painful silence and quiet work, the potion was the periwinkle blue it was supposed to be.

Lily ignored the casual brush of hands as she reached for the ladle and put some potion in a small glass. Then she slipped on some shoes, ignored Severus and hurried outside, forgetting her wand. It was a challenge, Severus concluded, as he watched for Lily's ninth unsuccessful attempt to stop Sirius from running around or giving a drunken James a piggyback long enough to give him the potion.

But her wit and intelligence soon gave Lily the idea of pretending it was more alcohol, since the boys had run out.

Lily conjured a blanket to put over Remus, who was asleep and clutching an empty bottle of firewhiskey, his tongue sticking out and mud covering his face. Severus looked away before he could cry when she pressed a kiss to the werewolf's forehead. The way Lily acted when she was with them ... the love and care she put into each action directed to them...

It hurt Severus more than he would ever like to admit. He bit his lip but continued staring ahead, watching James and Sirius daring each other to do silly things and Lily snapping at them.

The Mother decided it was hopeless, swearing at them and coming back into the kitchen just as Severus hurried up the stairs and out of sight. He didn't want her to see him in this state, so close to tears.

_xo _

Sirius knew that none of them would understand. Maybe Snape had opened everyone's minds into believing that Voldemort lurked there, yes. But they wouldn't understand the connection. They'd think he was crazy; they wouldn't want to be his friend anymore. But could Sirius really blame them? He was a liability – someone that shouldn't be trusted. If Voldemort could explode out of him at any moment, who could blame the others for being a little scared?

He sat with his head tucked between his knees, in the bitter cold with the feel of the frozen grass under his feet. He was shivering and his head was splitting open with pain. He could feel Voldemort hammering away and trying to get in. But it was going to take more than a few weak thoughts for him to take over Sirius's mind, like he was getting closer to doing each day.

Sirius fought furiously for a moment, groaning in pain when he saw a flash of red. He fell back and groaned, feeling the grip he had on his mind and being slipping away further and further. His mouth opened in a soundless cry, his fists balled as his head connected with the hard ground.

_No! No, give it back! Give me ... stop, please stop!_ Sirius tried shouting but it was hopeless. He could see the grinning face of Lord Voldemort; the wizard knew he was going to win. He was losing his grip, his hands were slacking, the rope was being pulled harder and harder. But if there was one game Sirius knew he was amazing at, it was tug-of-war.

He pictured that he was pulling a rope, he was holding one end and Lord Voldemort was holding the other. Throwing his strength into that first pull, Sirius knew he had thrown the Dark Lord off balance. There was a flash of normal colour when the sea of red came to overtake it once again.

Sirius and Lord Voldemort struggling for long moments, each trying their hardest. Just when Sirius thought he was going to lose, an image of the Marauders flashed before his eyes, back in first year when they had been playing tug-of-war; Sirius and Peter against the Remus and James.

It had felt like they were going to lose, but Sirius saw the girl he fancied (some second year called Zara) and he felt a sudden spurt of power. Enough power to win. The Marauders from then on declared Sirius the tug-of-war champion throughout the first year, setting him up in tournaments against anyone up to third year. The only reason he had won these tournaments was because the same image would flash before his eyes and he'd find that power. The power to win.

The image flashed brighter than stars before his eyes, and he wrenched the rope, in this case, his _mind_, out of Lord Voldemort's grip.

Sirius stared up at the night's sky, the red before his eyes disappearing as he gasped for air. He sat there for God knows how long, gasping and shivering. But soon the cold got too much for him and he hobbled back into the house, just as Kreacher came into view.

The house elf froze but Sirius didn't do anything. He did however order Kreacher to go make him a hot chocolate.

'And if you do anything to it,' threatened Sirius, 'I'll castrate you myself.'

Kreacher whimpered and ran as fast as he could out of the room, in the direction of the kitchen. Sirius took his time getting to the drawing room. He looked around and touched the things he hadn't touched in so long. He marvelled at how well kept the house was. The portraits looked at him distastefully but held their tongues. The curtains swished when he passed, and the cabinets and drawers hissed insults.

But what did Sirius expect? He was disowned and greatly hated by all the objects in this house; more often than not he'd done something to them. Whether it was slam them in anger, insult them or curse them to prove a point to his Mother.

The drawing room was almost exactly how he remembered it, save the missing painting of Sirius when he was a baby. The family tree was the same, except his name was now nothing but a blackened spot, as was Alphard's.

He smiled hesitantly at the others, Lily with her feet in James's lap and Remus who was still asleep, his head resting on Peter's knee. Rose was trying to blend into the sofa furthest away from Sirius, holding their son. And Snape ... had left. But he was coming back tomorrow.

They were all really just waiting for Walburga, who was way past schedule. Sirius, for a bewildered second, thought maybe she could be dead. He wouldn't care much. No, he was lying, he _would _care. But she deserved to die, didn't she? For all she had done to him.

She probably even deserved more. He went over to Rose, who flinched. Ignoring her, he plucked his sleeping son very gently out of her arms. Sirius held him high enough so their heads were level. He kissed his son gently on the nose and watched SJ fidget a little. But the boy stayed asleep, turning a little in his slumber.

Sirius sat down on the other side of Lily, cradling SJ carefully. He looked down, opening and closing his eyes, part of his mind still adamantly believing this was all a dream. But with each breath he took, Sirius knew his son was here and the belief that this was all real grew stronger.

'Lily,' James croaked tiredly, 'have you got anymore of that Sobering Solution left over? Or the Hangover Draught?'

Lily smirked smugly, lifting her head a little haughtily. 'I do, but it's for Moony when he wakes up.'

'Babe,' James whined, stroking her calf in a suggestive manner. 'I'm your husband.'

'And babe,' Lily replied, grinning, 'sometimes I think I married the wrong Marauder.'

Kreacher came into the room, bowing to Sirius and setting the hot chocolate on a small tea-plate at his feet. Sirius raised an eyebrow at the elf when he turned.

'Isn't there something you're forgetting, Kreacher?' Sirius sneered in a taunting voice, raising an eyebrow in a mocking manner.

Kreacher gritted his teeth, his fists balling. 'Is Master wanting anything else from Kreacher?'

Sirius laughed victoriously. 'Come back in ten minutes and ask me.'

Kreacher bowed, his red face trembling with untameable anger as he stormed off, muttering insults under his breath. Sirius let it slide, he really didn't have the energy. Besides, he could do way more damage if he had his wand. His wand! Surely one of them had it, right?

But as realisation dawned on him, Sirius's body slumped dejectedly. 'Is it a bit of wishful thinking to ask whether any of you guys have my wand?'

'I think you'd have more luck asking the _Death Eaters_ mate. You dropped it before you were taken to Malfoy's place. They'd probably have it if they didn't destroy it. Or maybe it's at the Ministry.' James said, his hands playing with Lily's pale feet.

Sirius sighed. 'What about my flat...' he asked.

James shrugged. 'Ask Remus when the lazy lump wakes up, he'll know more about your place than me. I hadn't left Godric's until a few days ago.'

'When your Mother coming?' Peter asked, 'We've been waiting for her—'

They heard someone in the hall, calling for Kreacher to take her coat and bag and put some tea on the stove. Sirius gulped.

He looked at James, who gave him the strength to stand up. Sirius cradled his son, and in the other hand, he grasped Lily's, who had straightened up.

Sirius closed his eyes, wishing as hard as he could that she was in a good mood. And she was. Walburga Black was in a great mood. Her hair was done in an elaborate twist, and the dress she wore was both flattering and modest. If Sirius Black was a girl, Walburga Black would be a future version. Lily could barely stifle the gasp she let out; they were so alike. The demeanour, the arrogance and haughtiness, the way they held themselves – everything.

Sirius smiled tightly when she dropped the small bag she had been holding, stepping back from him. She looked at each of them, staring them straight in the eye and regarding James with distaste. But finally, her eyes came to rest on her son, her eldest son, _her only son._

'Sirius,' Walburga breathed.

He grinned at her. 'Good evening ... no, it's dawn. Good _morning_ Mother, had an interesting day?' he said.

She walked up to him until they were so close they could smell one another. Then she slapped him as hard as she could, but it barely deterred Sirius.

'How have you been coping with Father's death? Badly? Well? I can tell by the way you're dressed—' he was cut off when she slapped him again, the red mark on his cheek turning darker.

'Careful Mother,' Sirius said, the edge in his voice frightening everyone in the room but her. 'You wouldn't want to hurt your grandson now would you?'

Walburga looked down, staring at her grandson with awe as she only just noticed him. She smiled. 'Oh,' she breathed, reaching out to touch SJ's cheek. 'He's beautiful ... he's very beautiful ... he looks just like you did.'

'I know, I was actually wondering where that portrait of me when I was three months old went.'

Walburga looked up angrily. 'It's in the cellar, where you spent most of your teenage-hood.'

Sirius bared his teeth and stepped back from her. 'You're rotten you are. I don't even know why I chose to come here—'

'Maybe because you need the security you know this house has? Don't be a fool Sirius. Now get back here and let me see my grandson, the grandson up until Dumbledore spoke to me, I thought you knew about and hid from me.' Walburga turned to face Rose, who was both alert and extremely shy. 'I told you not to trust her. I said she'd break your fragile little heart...'

'Well obviously you didn't say it loud enough. Where were you?'

The Blacks continued talking whilst James mouthed to Lily '_WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?_' who then answered his question with a bemused shrug. Why were they speaking so calmly to one another when Lily was sure they hated each other? They talked like they had only just seen each other the day before. It was very worrying. It was very unnerving.

'— were you?'

'That's none of your business. The question is, where have _you_ been?'

Sirius threw his head back and laughed. 'Oh, I know where you've been. Out with your nieces? They told you then, about my "escape" or rather, my rescue. No wonder you didn't scream when you saw me.'

'And how's it your business whether I was with Bellatrix or Narcissa or Lucius? I'd rather any one of them being a child of mine than you.'

'Are we really going to repeat this again _Mother,_ do you really want to have this conversation? Go on; tell me how you wished it was me who died instead of Regulus. Tell me how he had all the right ideas, how he had everything good going for him. Because in case you haven't noticed Mother, he's dead! And what's the most upsetting thing is the fact that he died because of himself! He wasn't _killed_, he wasn't murdered, he died trying to destroy Lord Voldemort. So if the only reason you don't like me is because I never wanted to be apart of Lord Voldemort and his cause, neither did Regulus. And if you still don't like me, then it's because of who I am, not because of what I've done.'

Walburga's eyes widened and she took a step closer to Sirius. 'What lies have you got planned in your head for me now?'

'How can memories lie Mother? More importantly, how can your beloved _house elf's_ memories lie? Hmm?'

Her hand came up to slap him but he caught it in a tight grip. He grinned rather haughtily at her. 'Remember that one time I hit you? I was strong enough and tall enough to hurt you. You couldn't control me, remember? You got Father to beat me so bad. I still have a scar from his beating. D'you remember Mother? All those things you made happen to me, all because I didn't want to do what you wanted me to do. And you expect me to be respectful? You made my life _hell_. Sometimes ... sometimes I wish you hell. But then I wouldn't want to be stuck down there with you. I hate you.'

He released his Mother and she stumbled back, barely managing to catch herself. 'You say ... you say he let himself be killed?'

'I'll show you the memories tomorrow. We stayed up to see if you'd come home—'

'We also stayed up because I reckoned you'd try and kill me and Remus in our sleep.' James stood up, throwing an arm around Sirius's shoulders and beaming down at Walburga Black; the tension had now grown so thick, James was sure even a blade couldn't slice through it. 'It's been such a long time Mrs Black. How're you?'

She raised an eyebrow and turned away abruptly. 'Don't let any of them sleep in Regulus's room.' Walburga called.

'Would I ever...?' Sirius breathed tauntingly. He laughed when she hissed something under her breath, and then he turned to face the ones who had never met Walburga Black, Lily and Rose. 'That's my Mother—'

'Charming, isn't she?' asked James, chortling when Sirius nodded eagerly. 'Now really, I forgot how many rooms this place has, is there enough?'

'I'd rather sleep in pairs.' Peter interjected. 'I don't want to be alone in this house ... it's always given me the shivers.'

Sirius chuckled. 'Of course. I'll show you to your rooms, but I want to stop by my room first, see if the old cow's done anything to the posters we put up in fifth year.'

James grinned, pulling Lily up off the sofa and wrapping an arm around her. 'Man, we had good times in this house. Remember that time Bellatrix's parents came over and we put Itching Powder on the seats.'

'How could I forget,' Sirius said. 'I was walloped by Uncle Cygnus himself for that one. But he's got a weak arm, nothing like my Father. It barely hurt.'

They all tried to ignore the casual way he spoke about the domestic violence he had been subjected to back in his childhood. It was hard though, as images of a man that looked a lot like Sirius beat a teenage Sirius till he was black and blue flashed before their eyes.

Two flights of stairs later and they were before Sirius's room, labelled clearly on a gold plate and in capitals, _SIRIUS._

He opened the room and gasped. It was exactly how he left it. His teenage objects lay strewn on the floor, a few magazines ripped to tatters and a few pornographic ones half concealed under the bed. The bookcase had toppled over and the books that had once sat comfortably on it were now on the floor, covered with dust. Even the bed covers were ruffled, just as Sirius had left it.

The pictures of half naked girls and motorcycles filled the room with colour, as did the Gryffindor hangings that clashed with the silver and green of the wallpaper.

Sirius sighed happily. It was just as he left it. He walked forward first, fingering the leather jacket on the floor that was probably now too small.

He bent down to pick up a ripped picture of him and the Marauders. He barked a laugh.

'Remember this Prongs?' He asked, turning to face his friends. Lily was holding her wand which was pointed at a snoring Remus hovering a foot above the ground.

James stepped closer. 'Ah, how could I forget? It was the time you jumped from my bedroom and tried to land in the pond we made.'

'I almost succeeded, but my stupid leg had to go and hit the stone wall.'

'We were in St Mungos for the whole night.' James said fondly, looking around the room at the pictures of the Marauders littering the walls just like the posters. 'It looks like they haven't even been in here since you ran away.'

Sirius shrugged indifferently, pretending it didn't get to him. 'Ah well, who wants their filthy ideals tainting the cleanliness of my room? I think I'll stay in here. I'll show you guys where you'll be sleeping.' He said gruffly, ushering them out of his room and closing the door behind them. The Potters were staying in the room closest to Sirius's, Rose and her son would be staying in a room on the floor above, as would Remus and Peter.

When they all had somewhere to stay, and had the few clothes they packed with them, Sirius retired to his old bedroom, flickering through the memories each object he held provided. He laughed at the pictures scattered on the floor, the ones that he hadn't packed during his hasty retreat back in fifth year.

On the floor was a charred cigarette, old and curling in on itself. It was the same cigarette Sirius had smoked before the fight with his Mother and Father. He kicked it fondly. It took quite a long time to siphon all the dust from the room, to clean the sheets and to get rid of the old and disused library smell it had.

He opened the windows and sat on the bed, looking around with a nostalgic and fond smile. Sirius had never thought he'd see his old room again. But he also thought he'd never come home to find he had a two month old son, now did he? He also never thought that he'd have such a brave and courageous brother. Maybe Regulus was supposed to be put in Gryffindor, maybe he had begged to be put in Slytherin? Just like the Sorting Hat had considered placing Sirius in Slytherin.

He sighed and fell to his knees, looking under the bed. There were some books about Animagi transformations, a few saucy porn magazines, another photo album and a letter from Remus. He read it and laughed when Moony insulted his wrestling moves and promised to teach him some when they next saw each other.

He yawned and fell back on his bed, looking up at the Gryffindor hangings that brought about some comfort. Sirius slipped away into a blissful sleep, but as he slipped away into a dream state, images of what Lord Voldemort was doing right now flashed before his eyes.

_xo_

_Lord Voldemort smiled at the young woman who was helping him. She gave him some of the Basilisk Venom and bowed so low her chin touched the floor._

'_Here you go, my Lord.'_

_Voldemort smiled tightly at her. It took a death to make a horcrux, and though he had killed many people in his life, he couldn't have someone knowing about the horcruxes. When she kept her head down, he raised his wand and whispered the two words he often repeated:_

'_Avada Kedavra,' he hissed. She made a noise between a groan and a sigh, then slumped to the floor, dead. He pocked the small vial of venom. He needed the venom to make the horcrux even though this small vial could destroy it as well._

_Only Basilisk Venom, amongst very few other things, could kill a horcrux. But Lord Voldemort was only a few days away from completing the dark creation, and then he would have one more horcrux. He needed to reach the goal of having seven horcruxes. Seven. The magical number._

_With seven horcruxes by his side, Lord Voldemort would be _invincible_._

_xo _

Sirius gasped, his top wet with sweat and his hair matted to his forehead. That was it. All he needed was Basilisk Venom. As if to illustrate the point, his Dark Mark throbbed and Sirius looked down, whimpering. He touched it and then screamed quietly in pain, exhaling.

His body was trembling and his tongue felt heavy. He needed the very venom running through his forearm right now. He needed that to destroy the horcrux. The Dark Lord wanted seven, and right now Sirius knew where one was. But if he didn't hurry up then Lord Voldemort would make a second. He needed Snape.

He needed to get the locket and destroy it. _Now._

He couldn't sleep, and apparently neither could Rose. As Sirius entered the drawing room, they sat together in silence. She handed over SJ to Sirius, who gladly took his son and revelled in the feel on the baby's silky smooth hair and soft warm skin. He kissed SJ's forehead and cheek, whispering words into his son's ear.

'I've only known you a little while,' Sirius said, 'but I already love you. So much.' He was answered with a sleepy whimper as the baby fought to keep his eyes open, tiredly opening his mouth, expelling some dribble.

'D'you think,' Rose asked hesitantly, 'that we'll ever be friends again.' Her voice got weaker and less brave as she talked. Usually Sirius would have found it endearing, but right now he found it both frustrating and confusing.

Dear God, he loved her.

'No.' Sirius said in a hard voice. 'I trust my friends; I don't think I could ever trust _you_ again.'

'But we have a son together.'

'And if not for a little thing called an abortion, I'd have a kid with a few other women. You don't see me sending them letters and calling them or whatever it is Muggles do.'

Rose opened her mouth furiously but closed it. There was more silence but then she smiled. 'D'you remember that time where you told me you loved me, and you asked me to say it back. I told you that you shouldn't fall in love with someone like me and when you refused to believe it I told you to go and ask James what his biggest mistake was.'

'He gave me five of his biggest mistakes. He said trusting and loving you was one of his biggest mistakes. I told you I didn't care whether this was a mistake or not. I told you I loved you.' Sirius replied in a melancholy and wistful voice.

'I told you that I felt the same way, but I never said those three words you wanted me to say. Not until sixth year.' Rose had somehow managed to slink closer to Sirius. 'Don't go.' She breathed. 'I know you're planning something, some sort of way to go and get rid of You-Know-Who. _Don't do it._ Please. You have a son—'

'I'm doing this _for_ my son Rose. I'm not doing it just for the thrill. You think I want to go out there and try destroying him? Risk my life? Risk never seeing my son again? _No!_ I'm doing it because I think I'm the only person who _can_.' Sirius replied exasperatedly. But he knew she cared about him and she didn't want anything to happen.

Rose wiped a tear quickly. 'W-When this is over ... and you're still alive, d'you think there's _any_ hope for us ... anything at _all?_'

'Just because I love you doesn't mean I don't hate you. I hate you_ so_ much Rose. If the war ends and we're the champions, that doesn't mean everything is going to go back to normal. I'll support SJ and you, heck, I'll even let both of you move in and stay with me and splash all the money I'm going to get from Mother, but we're not together anymore. You understand _that_ much at least, right?'

She looked down, tucking her long hair behind her ear only to have it cover her face again, like a golden veil.

'I need to send a letter to Snape. Are you hungry?' Sirius asked, reluctantly giving her their sleeping son.

'I'm not hungry. But I'd like some hot chocolate.' Rose said, licking her lips.

After calling Kreacher and telling him to bring Rose whatever she wanted, he reached over to a cabinet and took out a quill, ink and parchment.

_Snape,_

_Come over in the evening. Mother didn't get in till dawn, and everyone's asleep right now. Come at around six or seven and I'll tell you everything I just saw – it's dangerous to write it in the letter. I will say this though, we're going to do it today! I'll explain more when you come back. _

_See you soon,_

_- SB_

He rolled it and just before Kreacher was about the leave the room, called the elf over.

'Post this.'

Kreacher took the roll of parchment and left the room. Sirius sighed and fell onto the sofa, yawning. Now the visions of inside Lord Voldemort's mind were over, and he'd sorted some of the things out with Rose, Sirius felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

He fell asleep not long after, his head only a few centimetres away from Rose's thigh. She watched him for a long time, weaving her fingers through his black silky hair and frowning softly. He hummed under his breath, his breathing soft and even.

'I'm so sorry,' Rose whispered, bending down to press her full lips against his soft ones. 'I love you.'

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><p><em>AN: PM me your emails if you want me to reply to your reviews, I'll try to do it as quickly as I can. Also, some of you might have gotten PMs from other accounts; I've very kindly been allowed by a few readers of HTP to use their accounts to send PMs back. So I hope that explains it! Though I'm sure [for most of you anyway] I explained it during the PM._

_Leave a comment, cheers! :)_


	36. All Goes Wrong

_Disclaimer; I don't own anything but the OCs, the plot, some spells and potions._

_A/N: I hope you enjoy this chapter, it's more action-y than the last chapter which was more about thoughts than actions._

_Check out _**His Footsteps**_ btw!_

* * *

><p><em>xoxo<em>

_36. All Goes Wrong_

Sirius hummed under his breath, a smile on his face. Rose was asleep on his bed. Sirius reckoned she would fall asleep on his bed quicker if she could smell his scent and have all of his belongings around her.

It worked. She was asleep. Sirius subconsciously stroked her hair, running his fingers as far as he could through the tangled gold. He played with her fingers and even lifted them to nibble on her fingertips. It wasn't that he didn't know what he was doing; he just had so much on his mind that for once he wanted to feel comforted. Being with Rose like this made him feel warm inside.

There was a gentle rap on his bedroom door and Sirius sighed. Time to go. Snape had gotten here a few hours ago and Sirius had explained to all of them what he had seen, what he now knew – the only way to destroy the horcrux was if they had some Basilisk Venom. Not only was it rare but it cost thousands and thousands of galleons.

But they would worry about the venom after they got the locket. Rose let out her first gentle snore and Sirius bit his lip in affection despite himself. He carried on running his hands through her hair when he heard something that sounded a lot like a whimper.

Sirius got up carefully and peered into the crib that stood besides the large bed. SJ was in a state half between sleep and the waking world. He lifted the boy and cradled him, crooning under his breath and rocking the boy back to sleep. Sirius James made fussy noises at first but ever so slightly slipped into a sleep as the seconds ticked by. When the boy's breathing became even and hushed, Sirius kissed his son for a long time, revelling in the feel of his silky soft skin.

He felt tears in his eyes as it registered in his mind that this might be the last time he'll ever see Rose and their son. Sirius squeezed the boy tighter as he silently sobbed into his son. He would never admit it, but he was scared. Scared of dying. Before he had been fearless when it came to death but now he knew he had a son he didn't _want_ to die. Most importantly, Sirius was now scared of Voldemort. More than anything in the world, including Dementors and his friends dying, he was scared of that dark, evil Lord.

Sirius shivered as he realised that even if he did manage to destroy Voldemort he would have to confront and kill the man too. And even if he did kill the man there could be another horcrux out there. Sirius wasn't sure if there was another, he hoped not. But he wasn't sure because whilst he had been in Lord Voldemort's mind Sirius hadn't found a single trace of thoughts that were about another horcrux.

But regardless of whether there was or wasn't a second horcrux, Sirius would not know until he faced the Dark Lord himself.

'Sirius,' someone said gently. He turned to see James standing tentatively at the door, a hand held out to his friend. When James caught sight of the tears on his friend's face, he sighed shakily, 'oh Paddy.' He embraced Sirius fiercely, minding the boy. James cuffed Sirius's head and hugged him again, holding his brother as tight as he could. 'Padfoot...'

'What if I never see him again?' Sirius asked.

'You will—'

'What if I _don't_?' he asked angrily. 'I ... I want something to remember him by.'

James released Sirius and pulled out his wallet from his back pocket, withdrawing a photograph of SJ in his crib and Harry standing besides it. If Sirius and James had known each other when they were this young, if Sirius had been a year younger than James, and someone took a photo of both Marauders, it would look exactly like this. Save Harry's eyes and SJ's lips they looked exactly like their Fathers.

Sirius and James both looked down at it with melancholy smiles on their faces. 'I took this for you actually, I kept saying to myself you'd come back and when Rose turned up with Remus at our house, I was so happy and excited for _you_ to meet him. I took a picture and promised to give it to you ... I guess I just forgot to give it to you.'

Sirius silently took it and pressed a kiss to the faces of his two favourite boys. Oh, how he loved them. 'Thank you.' Was all he said.

'Come on Pads, we need to go.' James said softly, nudging his friend. 'You've left the memories and the note for your Mother?'

Sirius nodded. 'I put it on her dresser. She'll finally learn how Regulus really died ... stubborn bitch,' he muttered under his breath. James pecked SJ's forehead and said softly, 'I'm going to miss this boy. But we'll be back soon Paddy, I promise you.'

They set the baby down and then Sirius pocketed the picture, looking at his son longingly. James cocked his head towards Rose but he ignored her. He didn't care much for her right now. 'Like you said,' Sirius answered, looking away from her, 'we'll be back soon.'

He still couldn't help sending a longing look towards her as they carefully closed the bedroom door. The group met in the drawing room. Remus had an arm Lily who was gnawing on her fingernails and anxiously looking towards the doorway. Peter was playing with his wand, levitating portraits and setting them back on the wall. Severus Snape however was glaring at James, who strode into the room and wrapped his arms around Lily, momentarily lifting her off the floor.

'He'll be fine, Harry'll be fine Lils, I promise!'

She let him nuzzle her neck whilst he whispered himself into comfort. 'I know he'll be fine. SJ too, you did give him a kiss from me, right?'

James made a choked sound. He straightened up and gave her a long kiss. 'Get a room,' Remus complained, falling onto the settee and moaning in pain. He was still so tired and his body ached. Everyone in the room, save the Potters, smirked, including Severus Snape. The new headmaster had gotten here a few hours ago. Sirius had explained about the horcrux and the Basilisk Venom to all of them.

It had been startling to hear, more so because Severus had the very thing that could destroy Voldemort running through the skin on his forearm. Though the venom he had wasn't as potent as the venom in Sirius's forearm...

No where _near_ as potent.

'Black!' Severus said harshly, the revelation hitting him hard. 'Black, we don't need to buy the venom. You and these _fools_ have been discussing where you could get it. But you don't _need_ to get it! You have it! Running through your flesh! Your venom is more potent than mine. A drop would be enough to destroy the horcrux—'

'And then,' interrupted Sirius, his eyes wide, 'then we can destroy Lord Voldemort.'

The room was silent for a moment until Lily broke it. She slowly walked over to Sirius and took his forearm. Lily caressed the mark gently receiving a hiss from the bearer. Lily brought it up until it was centimetres from her eyes and then she dropped his arm abruptly.

'Paddy, I walked past your great grandfather's portrait. Shouldn't we ask him if Dumbledore put anything behind his portrait hanging in the office?'

He broke into a smile. 'You're brilliant Lily. Oh, and happy birthday,' he said, kissing her on the cheek. The days were merging into each other; it was hard to believe that Sirius had only gotten home six days ago. It felt like he had returned months ago. It had been Peter who pointed out it was the thirtieth today. Lily had felt like crying when she learned it was her birthday. It hurt to learn that your life was so hectic that you couldn't separate the days from each other.

'Where are you going Pads? I'm not missing this for anything! A standoff between the reckless Animagus and the most hated headmaster, I'd pay money to watch that!' Remus and Sirius laughed, as the former threw an arm around the slightly shorter man's shoulders, leaving the drawing room together. Sirius led them all to the portrait, but they could see nothing save the dark velvet background that shone in the candlelight.

'Phineas? Ooh, granny Phineas?' Sirius called, using the nickname the older man hated. They could hear the huffing before they even saw him. But it was undoubtedly Sirius's ancestor when they caught sight of the old headmaster. His hair was midnight black and his eyes were sparkly, with thick lashes and glowing irises.

Phineas gaped for a second. 'Sirius? What on _earth _are you doing here? In the ancient home of my ancestors? Befouling it with your filthy Mudblood and blood-traitor friends? Well why boy?'

'I'm asking the questions dear Phineas—'

The portrait scoffed, an evil glint shining in his eyes. 'Why shan't I run along and get one of the many Death Eaters here at Hogwarts, have them alert the Dark Lord that not only do they have a _traitor_ in their midst but that Sirius Black is hiding like the _coward_ he is in my beloved home?'

Sirius's lip trembled as he glared at the older man in the portrait. 'Because,' his voice shook a little, not for one second believing that Phineas was bluffing, 'I'm the last male Black. I'm the heir. You can call him if you want, and I'll die. So will the Black line. So will my son, you have heard about my son haven't you? Voldemort's got plans to _kill_ him. By all means, run along great-grandfather. But that'll mean you're more of a traitor to this family than I am if you're willing to let the line die out.'

Phineas's mouth opened and closed furiously, but the old man knew that Sirius was right. 'I-I ... I wish you were the one who died and Regulus was alive. The boy may have been less courageous than you but he protected himself, he knew what was better for us purebloods.'

Sirius sighed tiredly. He was tired of hearing everyone in his family commenting on how it should have been him who died. Sirius already knew it wasn't fair for him to still be here. But there was nothing he could do about it. All he could do, all he _knew_ he could do was make sure Regulus did not die in vain. And he was trying. He was trying so hard.

'I know great-grandfather Phineas. Believe me; Mother reminds me more often than not that I should be the one rotting away, not Reg. But I'm the one here. So are you going to help me?'

There was a strained silence in which all of them waiting in anticipation. Finally the aged man nodded, telling Sirius he would help in any way he could but only to see the bloodline of the Blacks continue.

'Professor Dumbledore put something behind your portrait in the office, do you remember what? D'you remember if he even _did_ put anything behind your portrait?'

Phineas tapped his bottom lip with his finger and then clapped his hands and laughed. 'Yes, a few days before his capture, I remember Albus writing some letters. Oh, he must have written half a dozen. Then he put a locket in this small box and asked me to keep a secret. He put it in a safe behind my portrait.'

Sirius exhaled roughly, nodding to Remus who was grinning. 'We know where it is, we just need to _get_ it. Thanks Phineas.'

Phineas waved a hand dismissively and then said in a shyer and quieter voice, 'You will have more children won't you? One isn't nearly enough to continue the Black line. It's too risky if anything happens.'

Sirius bit his lip and shrugged. 'It depends if I find the right person, it depends if I _live_.'

'And if you do Sirius?'

He pretended to contemplate but he really knew the answer. 'Then I guess there's no reason for me not to grace the earth with more Blacks.'

They didn't carry anything save their wands and a few potions to heal cuts and wake people up and the likes. Sirius however didn't have anything. All he had was his heart on his sleeve and a picture in his pocket. He was hesitant, but when Peter nudged him, somehow that small gesture gave Sirius all the courage he needed.

If Peter could do this, if he could return to all the danger he had been hiding from, then why couldn't Sirius do the same? At that moment, as he watched the shorter man run a hand through his mousy hair, Sirius was so proud he felt like his heart could burst.

'I'm so proud of you, you know?' Sirius said in a quiet voice, as they all walked down the steps of Grimmauld Place, closing the gate behind them.

Him and Peter were behind all the others. In fact, Severus was engaged, actually engaged in a conversation with Remus that did not involve "filthy Gryffindors" or "dirty half-breeds". It was sort of cute.

'Why?' Peter asked. 'I'm a Gryffindor; this is what we're supposed to do.'

Peter was answered with a laugh and a half-hug. 'I think you're braver than everyone thinks.'

'I don't think so,' the shorter man said. 'When ... when Bellatrix and Lu-Malfoy,' Peter corrected himself, 'when they threatened my Mother, when the Dark Lord, sorry, when _Vo-Voldemort_ talked to me ... I've never been so scared of a group of people in my life.'

'Being scared isn't something bad Peter. Sometimes I think it's good that I get scared. It's the reason I don't fail. _Because_ I'm scared. Not because I'm handy with a wand and good at getting out of tight situations.'

'If I'm honest,' Peter said, 'I think I'd be with V-Voldemort right now if it weren't for you.' When Sirius raised an eye, Peter explained further. 'What had me consider whether it was good of me to stick with the Death Eaters wasn't because I had no choice, it was because of what you did for me that night I was at your flat.'

'What d'you mean Peter?'

'I mean ... I mean that I'd betrayed you, and I was endangering my friends and betraying the Order. You should have killed me. I would have understood if you killed me.'

Sirius squeezed Peter tightly for a moment as they continued to follow the others off to a dark alleyway where they could disapparated. 'But I don't kill my _friends_ Peter. I wouldn't end your life over a mistake. A big mistake, yes. But a mistake that could be redeemed and rectified. And you have rectified it, you've redeemed yourself, you've done anything and everything possible to show us how sorry you are.'

'James acts differently around me.'

'That's because he was the most hurt.' Sirius told him in a quieter voice as the others slowed down. 'You should've seen him when Dumbledore told the Order about you. He didn't believe it.' Sirius nudged him and smiled softly before calling everyone's attention.

Remus had his wand in his hand, looking around with narrowed and tired eyes. James was holding Lily's hand tightly and Severus was standing completely still, watching Sirius impatiently.

'Where to, Snape?' he asked.

'Hog's Head.'

The alleyway was filled with the sounds of sharp and loud cracks as they one by one disapparated, appearing at different points but all standing before the Hog's Head door. Severus beckoned them away from the door and signalled for them to follow him.

They followed him down a dark little road and he paused in front of a large bin. Severus looked around then whispered a spell and the bin transformed into a door. He ushered them inside and before Sirius knew it, he was inside a lounge.

It was neat but it wasn't modern, in fact there was an enormous box that Sirius remembered as one of the first WWNs. He grinned just as Severus called someone's name. It was all happening so fast, everything. Wasn't it just moments ago when he had been holding his son? Sirius's head split open with pain, and he felt himself fall to the ground as a dark storm took over his mind. He shivered, his eyes opening and closing. James shook him, bellowing at the top of his lungs but Sirius couldn't hear anything.

He couldn't hear anything because he was sucked from reality into the tournament.

_Sitting patiently a few metres away from him was Lord Voldemort. 'I told you I could bring you here whenever I wanted. Come.' His voice sounded ecstatic. Sirius was a zombie. He silently walked to Voldemort. Before he knew it, a chair appeared, as did a table. A chessboard and some magical pieces sat on the table. It felt like each of those pieces was watching Sirius, waiting, waiting for something, anything, to happen._

'_Sirius Black...' the serpentine voice said. His eyes met the Dark Lord's and he shivered. They were red as blood and wide like saucers._

'_Yes,' he breathed breathlessly back._

'_Are you ready to play?'_

_Sirius looked down at the chess pieces. He was the white side ironically. He gulped and nodded. 'Yes.'_

He woke up to someone slapping him gently. When Sirius's eyes opened, Peter was forcing some water down his throat. He drank it all, licking his lip and trying to speak. But his throat hurt a little. Peter waved his wand and more water appeared, and like a doting Mother, he held it to Sirius's lips whilst the handsome man drank until he could drink no more.

Lily was sitting by his head, running her fingers through his hair. Severus was talking to James and another man. _Aberforth!_ So this was Aberforth! He looked like a scruffier version of Professor Dumbledore. His hair was white and messy, a little shorter than the old headmaster's. His eyes were just as beautiful; the same piercing and twinkling blue.

They could have passed for twins. Except Aberforth wasn't smiling, in fact, he was frowning. He turned to glower at Severus.

'I swear Snape! You call on me too often! When my damn brother comes back...'

'Comes back?' Lily repeated. 'You say it like you know he's going to return.'

Aberforth laughed humorously. 'I've known him so long I think sometimes I know him better than even he knows himself. He'll come back. He's too stubborn not to return.'

'Are you going to let us then?' snapped Severus. 'I've asked nicely Aberforth, _please_.' Sirius had never heard Snape speak so desperately.

There was a long pause when finally, Dumbledore's younger brother sighed and signalled for them to follow.

'Wait,' James interjected, shaking his head. 'Shouldn't we make _sure_ Sirius is alright—'

'Worried you'll have to carry my "fat arse"?' Sirius winked, standing up with the help of Peter. His whole body ached right now. He wanted a massage. He needed a massage!

James laughed, cuffing Sirius on the back of his head. 'Never do that to me again Pads, you gave me a heart attack.'

'I'm sorry babe,' Sirius said, checking his pocket for a wand that wasn't there. 'I'm being serious though, how are we going to do this if I don't have a wand?'

Remus yawned, scratching the few inches of skin on his stomach showing. 'You don't need a wand Padfoot, we're getting the locket and running away. It's not like we're fighting in a battle. Besides, we'll be here to protect you if anything goes wrong.'

'I feel naked without my wand though...'

'First thing we'll do when we get back,' Peter said quietly, 'is get you a wand. Right now though I just want to get this over and done with.'

Sirius sighed and nodded. 'Come on the Abby, show us the tunnel—' He was answered with a wand in his face.

'Ever,' seethed Aberforth, 'call me _Abby_ again and I'll show you what it really means to be naked.'

Sirius shivered.

They were led to a portrait of a girl; she had beautiful mid-length hair and the same piercing eyes. The Marauders couldn't help but silently thank Lily as she asked the question they were all dying to ask.

'Who is she?' her tentative voice broke the silence.

It was a long time before he answered. He was facing the portrait with a melancholy and wistful expression, smiling at the girl.

'She was my sister.'

'Was—?'

'Dumbledore has a sister—'

'What happened—?'

Aberforth wasn't listening to their questions though, he was just smiling and nodding at his sister.

She turned around and walked away from them. _Wait!_ Sirius wanted to cry out, but it was too late. She was gone now, disappeared into the tunnel.

'What have you done?' James asked furiously. 'Was that our only way in?'

Aberforth shook his head. 'She's opening the door at the other end of the tunnel.' He replied a little impatiently. After a few minutes of tense waiting, they saw her again, still a small speck but getting larger and larger, until only her face took the space of the portrait.

Then it swung open. It was a large portrait, big enough for Remus, who was the tallest, to fit through. Severus got in without thanking Aberforth but the others stayed behind to thank him.

'Thank you,' Remus said earnestly. He took Aberforth's hand and shook it. 'You saved our lives!' He disappeared, like Severus, into the darkness of the passageway.

'Thanks,' Peter said, smiling. He too shook Aberforth's hand and followed after the others.

Lily kissed the old man on the cheek. 'I'm so grateful, we're all so grateful. My stupid husband here is too.' James smirked and winked at the old man.

Then it was just Sirius and Aberforth. The old man cleared his throat. 'Do me a favour Black.'

'Hmm? Anything.'

'Bring him back alive, I don't care if you bring him back with one leg or ... or half a head, just bring him back, okay?'

Sirius clutched the younger Dumbledore's hand in both of his. 'After everything he has done for me? There's no higher pleasure.'

He nodded and hurried after the others. The passage was dark, and Sirius tripped over his feet. But soon he had found the others just as Severus pushed open the door on the other side.

Sirius immediately recognised where they were. Inside the headmaster's office.

'The passage,' Severus explained, 'takes you anywhere inside the castle you want to go. No one knows about it. It was something Dumbledore secured when he became headmaster, for purposes like this.'

The office didn't look much different. Gryffindor's sword hung in a glass box a few feet above their heads. The portraits all had curtains covering them except Phineas's. He appraised them and then nodded.

'Thank you Phineas,' Sirius said earnestly as he walked towards the portrait, 'lift me up Prongs,' Sirius asked. His body felt weightless as he was lifted a few feet into the air. 'You know,' he continued as he moved part of the curtain aside, 'I always said to myself when I was younger 'if I inherit Grimmauld Place, I'll destroy Phineas's portrait" ... I guess I'll keep you now though.' The latch on the side clicked and Sirius swung it open.

It was a large hole, much larger than he anticipated. He stuck his whole arm in, feeling around for the box that his great grandfather had described. After seconds of fruitless searching, he came into contact with something icy cold and metal.

Sirius grinned at them all. 'Got it,' he said, pulling the box out. He swung Phineas around for a second time and let James gently lower him. The box was ornate, a beautiful red metal that was thick. It was heavy and elegant looking. He set it down on Severus's desk and flicked it open. Inside was more red; red velvet and red gems glistening royally. But that wasn't what captured Sirius's attention. It was the large locket that had a serpentine 'S' on the front. It looked like the S was moving. Sirius shivered but leant forward, despite Lily's protests and Remus's warning.

As his skin clipped the side of the locket he cried out, falling to one knee. It wasn't the strongest pain he felt, but it was his _mark_ that caused the pain. And if his mark felt the pain, then Voldemort will have most certainly felt it too.

'Sirius?' Peter asked, falling to his knees to check if his friend was alright.

'Water,' Sirius wheezed, 'get me some water.'

Peter jumped up and hurried to the other end of the room where he proceeded to fiddle around with the drawers to find a glass to fill with water.

'Sirius?' James asked. 'Are you alright?'

'I shouldn't have touched it. I'm sure he felt it too, I'm sure he's curious now.' Despite what he was saying though, Sirius felt drawn to it. Before any of them could protest, he pocketed it, gasping in pain and staggering. 'Okay, let's go.' He managed to pant, looking at Severus for confirmation who nodded.

'You're going to leave? Without your little friend Peter?' an unfamiliar voice said. One by one they all turned to face Emmett Avery who held Peter Pettigrew by the neck, a wand pressed to his throat. Peter was shaking, his bottom lip quivering and his eyes watering. After all, bravery could only take you so far...

Avery smiled at them all triumphantly, he seemed thrilled. Any Death Eater would be thrilled; not only did he have Sirius at his mercy, but he had _James and Lily Potter_ too! 'I haven't seen you all in such a long time, especially you Potter. And you've brought you pretty little wife too.'

James bared his teeth and balled his fists, moving forward, but Lily and Sirius managed to hold him back. Then an almighty sound claimed their attention; Remus had kicked Severus's desk, sheets of paper flying everywhere. 'I'll kill him!' He bellowed. They turned to see him pointing a wand at Severus, a livid expression on his face. 'We came here for Snape, but if you let Peter go, we'll give him back to you.'

Avery seemed to be contemplating. On the one side, Severus was an old friend and a personal favourite of Lord Voldemort's, who would be sad to see him go. But on the other side, he had all four Marauders and the Mudblood-slut at his mercy; he would become Lord Voldemort's _favourite _follower. He would be regarded higher than Severus or Bellatrix or Dolohov. Friendship could only go so far. 'I'm sorry but it's too late,' he said, touching his index finger to his throbbing mark. 'Oops.'

Sirius cried out in pain, looking down at his luminous and shining mark. He exhaled heavily just as James whispered, 'Fuck.'

Fuck indeed.

'Fuck.' Avery echoed.

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><p><em>AN: Please do leave a review, thank you so much!_

_I'm sorry, I wrote most of this chapter here on Doc Manager, since Word was deciding to play up again. As soon as it starts working I'll fix all the mistakes._

_Take care, xo_


	37. Bargaining

_Disclaimer; I do not own anything but the plot and the OCs._

_A/N: Enjoy this chapter, it's very action-packed and it's got a few upsetting scenes in it :( I would also just like to say THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE AWESOME REVIEWS LAST CHAPTER, they were amazing!_

_I would really like to urge the people who haven't left a comment on this story to please do so, especially if you've alerted and favourited. And remember, I love anonymous reviews :D_

_I've also just started fixing up this story, now Microsoft Word is back! I've started from the beginning and I'm rectifying all the mistakes and errors so if any future people read it, the story will be more enjoyable to read :)_

_Take care, and have a lovely day_

_-xo_

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><p><em>xoxo <em>

_37. Bargaining_

'Fuck,' Sirius breathed, turning to growl at Avery, advancing forward with nothing but his bare hands to fight with. 'You don't know what you've just done.' He whispered, but then his anger took over and he kicked the chair, screaming, 'YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'VE JUST DONE!'

'Oh really?' Avery asked, forcing Peter forward with him, his wand pressing deep into the shorter man's throat. 'I think I've just summoned the Death Eaters and the Dark Lord. You see,' his smile was now a sneer, showing the underlying cruelty that hid behind his pale skin, and how unafraid he was of Sirius. 'Severus here and the Dark Lord created a means of us Death Eaters being able to apparate in and out of this school. A bit like the spell that was on the doorway to your prison, _Black_.'

Remus sagged, his wand emitting a soft glow as he kept it trained on Severus. 'I don't think your Lord would be very happy if his most faithful Death Eater was killed, especially if it was your fault. Just hand over Peter, and we can pretend this never happened Avery—'

Remus was cut off by a sharp laugh. 'You want me to choose between the Potters and my loyalty to Snape? I think the Dark Lord would prefer Harry Potter as opposed to his _most faithful_ Death Eater, sorry Sev.'

Severus gulped. 'None taken. I'd do the same.'

Avery grinned, barking a laugh. 'Now, wolf, be so kind as to—' This time, Avery was interrupted. Not by a laugh though, but rather, Remus had thrown himself onto Avery to help Peter wriggle out. The other wizard had a tight hold on Peter, who was trying as hard as he could to get out of Avery's grip. James jumped in with Remus just as Severus touched his own mark hard and scarpered.

Sirius cried out in pain, hissing and slumping to the ground. But he smiled as soon as the pain faded; it was good that Severus had run off. Avery wouldn't suspect anything if Severus slipped out, it was after all, typical Slytherin behaviour. In fact, he would probably do it himself had the roles been reversed.

Peter let out a cry as Avery's hold on him changed from his neck to his hair. James had him in a headlock and was trying to get him off Peter, and Remus was attempting to drag him away.

Sirius was about to jump in and help when the room was filled with cracks.

'The Dark Lord wants to know why you've...' the first Death Eater stopped talking when he saw not only James and Lily, but Sirius and Remus and Peter. His expression changed from disbelieving to happy to _ecstatic. _He, as well as the others, slammed their fingers onto their marks.

Doing the first thing that sprung up into his mind, Sirius picked up the closest object and lobbed it at the Death Eaters. It was a metal tray and collided with the closest one's head. He growled and advanced on Sirius, who ran on the other side of the desk.

James was now duelling expertly with one of the Death Eaters, dodging the sharp spells shooting towards him and even throwing a few Shield Charms towards Lily who was battling the last Death Eater.

'Stop hiding Black,' the low voice growled of the unrecognisable Death Eater. He shot a shower of flames at Sirius who barely managed to evade them, hissing when he was burned on the arm. He overturned the desk and picked up one of the chairs, throwing it at the man advancing on him.

'_Peter!_' They all heard Remus cry, and then the room was flooded with the sound of another sharp crack. Avery had disapparated, and with him, he had taken Peter.

The fury in Remus's eyes was enough to make even Sirius shiver. The man growled and jumped up, swiftly throwing the Death Eater Lily was battling to the floor and knocking him out with a kick to his head. Then he stunned the one James was fighting.

Before they could do anything to the last wizard, Sirius's one, he smirked and disapparated.

Sirius longingly looked towards the portrait that they had only gotten out of half an hour ago. It was going to close soon if they didn't hurry. Aberforth couldn't leave it open for them forever.

'What do we do?' Sirius asked quickly, patting his pocket to reassure himself that the locket was still there. His forearm was burning painfully but he ignored it and turned to face the others. Lily had blood smeared on her face, her hair cackling with electricity. Remus was panting and furiously running a hand through his hair. James was shaking his head, muttering angrily under his breath.

'What?' the werewolf asked suddenly, looking up questioningly. 'Oh,' he replied. 'We ... we get Peter. We need to save him, we can't just leave him can we?'

Sirius gulped and shook his head. 'No, _no_, of course we can't. It's just, the _locket_, guys—'

'Then go!' James cried, looking towards the door. 'Any second an army of Death Eaters are going to roll up, with their weapons and their Aurors and _god_ knows what else! So _go _Sirius, whilst you still can!'

He didn't know whether to feel insulted or touched. He felt the former. Sirius glowered at James, slamming his fist down on the desk.

'Fuck you James! Don't patronise me! Let's go! Let's alert McGonagall and get her to evacuate the students, and Remus, you can call your vampire—'

Remus bowed his head and kissed his ring before looking up. 'Done.' He answered, panting a little.

'What are we waiting for then? Come _on_!'

They looked like a bunch of drunken, mad people. When they exited the office and slipped out the gargoyle, the Marauders froze. They didn't need to go and get McGonagall, because she was there, waiting for them. So were a few dozen other teachers. And hundreds of students. What the Marauders noticed most however were the Death Eaters, dodging and fighting the elder students. Aurors duelling against the teachers, Aurors duelling _with_ the teachers.

It was chaos. Statues were exploding, students were running and screaming, bodies littered the floor, blood stained the stairs. There was a puddle right besides their feet. Lily shrieked when she saw not far from where they were standing a lifeless corpse of a dead child, no older than twelve or so.

'Come _on_ Emily,' Remus cried, kissing his ring again and again. But she didn't come.

It was a bloodbath on both parts. Most of the Aurors had turned against the Death Eaters; it was like fighting your morals or your enemies, and most people would rather die with integrity than die in shame, even if dying with integrity meant dying quicker.

James and Remus stood in front of Sirius when the battle moved closer towards them. He was trembling, and his mind was slipping further and further from his control. Sirius started panting.

'James,' he whispered, 'James we need to find Peter, _now_.'

'But _how!_' James cried, turning to face Remus, who was conjuring a shield around them to protect them from the wayward spells firing all over the place.

He looked up, his eyes darker than usual. 'I don't know Prongs! I ... I—'

'_Potter!_' someone roared, and they turned to see McGonagall fiercely duelling a wizard twice her size and half her age. He was cackling but she barely paid him heed, still managing to force him back from the child she was protecting. 'GET OUT OF HERE!'

'PETER!' James cried, shooting a sharp curse towards a witch who tried to break their shield. 'WE NEED TO FIND PETER PROFESSOR!'

She growled, and with a powerful shove, managed to stun the wizard and expel his body over ten metres away from her and the girl she stood in front of. 'EDWARDS! GET THE CHILDREN OUT OF HERE YOU USELESS BOY!'

They watched as a prefect hurried forwards, grabbing the girl by the arm and hauling her over his shoulders, running in the opposite direction. Lily saw it before any of the others, and ran from behind the shield, engulfing the Stunning Charm with her wand and shooting it back at whatever inbred Death Eater had sent it towards the children.

'LILY!' James bellowed, a flicker of fury coming over his face. He ducked out from under the shield and hurried to his wife, covering her body with his own when a gargoyle besides them erupted and cascaded them with chunks of stone.

It wasn't a Death Eater who erupted the gargoyle though. It was something much larger. Much, _much_ larger. It was a giant. Sirius wasn't sure if it was him who shrieked, or Remus but everyone started screaming. Though there were only two giants, they were more than enough to destroy ever single one of them.

He did the first thing he could do and ran out from under the shield, ignoring James's screams and Remus's begs. He ran in the opposite direction. He needed to get away from these giants, he needed to hide the horcrux and keep it safe.

He would hide it, get a wand and come back to battle with his friends and save Peter. But right now he needed to keep this locket safe. When he turned the corner where a few Aurors were trying their hardest to beat a few other Aurors, Sirius was spotted. He froze. Amongst the Aurors was Moody, _Mad-Eye Moody!_

Sirius could've ran and kissed him. Moody however, didn't see him. But the others did. Before he could even say anything, he ran as fast as he could in the other direction, slipping on a puddle of blood and landing sprawled on top of the dead body of a young girl.

He shrieked, backing away from her and whimpering. She was barely thirteen and her eyes had rolled back in their sockets. Her hair was blonde and the he could see a bit of her irises, they were a beautiful dark brown.

Before he could process what was happening, Sirius was thrown backwards, his head hitting the floor with a smack. He didn't scream but he swore loudly, his eyes flashing between light and dark for a moment. Someone was talking but he could barely recognise it. When he looked up, he groaned.

Dolohov.

Dolohov looked thrilled at the prospect of being the one to hand over Sirius Black. The sounds of fighting dulled but they didn't totally disappear. What was loudest however, were the almighty roars from the giants and the sounds of things smashing.

Dolohov was now so close to Sirius he could see the different shades of brown in the man's eyes. He moved backwards, sinking into his fighting mode.

'Come on then Dolohov, put your wand down and let's see what you can _really _do.' Sirius taunted before throwing the first punch.

_xo_

James grabbed her arm and pulled her into a tiny alcove, covering her body with his and dropping his head to her neck. He cried out softly when the pieces of rock kept on hammering his back.

'Don't worry, we need to find Snape,' James whispered in her ear, biting his lip to stop from screaming when the rocks became larger.

'Snape?' Lily breathed, cradling his face and wiping his tears. 'Why do we need Sev—Snape?'

James gave her a pointed look. 'We're _losing _Lily, and unless we find Peter, we're going to be captured! You're going home!'

She bared her teeth. 'Like hell I am! Fuck you! Who're you to decide what I can and can't do? I'm staying and fighting with you—'

'NO! Lily! If Harry loses one of us, that'll be heartbreaking, I know. If he loses both of us and Sirius and his two uncles? His whole _world_ will collapse babe, please, just for once, do this for me, I'm begging you—'

She looked down at his lips and leaned in to kiss him, before placing a hand over his heart. 'I'm not made of glass Jimmy; I'm not going to break...'

'But you can die, and with the giants on their side, without the vampires here fighting with us, I'm more scared for you than I've ever been in my life! I need you to stay safe for Harry and ... and Rose and SJ. For our whole family Lily. No _go!_ Go hide and I'll send Snape your way—'

Lily looked up, bamboozled. 'Go where? Hide where?'

James thought for a moment, letting out a hiss when a rock hit his thigh. 'Erm ... go ... go to the prefect's bathroom! I'll come and look for you there, I'll come _find_ you there, but please Lily...'

The clogs in her brilliant mind were working fast and hard but finally, she sagged against him, resting the side of her head against the wall of the alcove. 'Okay. I'll go...'

He grabbed her face and kissed her hard before releasing her. 'Thank you, so much.' He breathed. Then James kissed her once more before running off down the corridor away from her. He slipped on some blood, barely managing to keep his balance. When James looked up, he realised that he was in Slytherin territory. And standing before him a few metres down, lingering near the shadows, were a group of Death Eaters, arguing about something.

James exhaled, biting his lip and backing away as slowly and quietly as he could. He hid behind the corner and exhaled heavily, his heart drumming hard. His body was trembling with fear and everything was going wrong. Sirius had done a runner when he saw the giants, Remus had been separated and James still couldn't find Peter!

Oh, but how wrong he was. Hurtling down the other end was Avery, chasing something very small and very swift. He was chasing a rat; he was chasing _Peter_.

'CATCH IT!' Avery bellowed, and from round the corner the Death Eaters emerged. James's eyes widened. He tried to run and almost succeeded, but they grabbed Peter off the floor and held him in the air, swinging his small body.

'I'll break his filthy rat body if you move any further,' said a girl. James looked up slowly to see the speaker and groaned aloud. It was Bellatrix. He held up his hands to show that he was not going to do anything and in answer, she cackled.

'Where's your slut?' asked the nearest Death Eater.

James growled and started forward, ready to knock the bastard's teeth out when he was seized from behind and held in a tight grip.

'Careful,' someone whispered into James's ear, 'otherwise your rat friend will die-e-e.' They all cackled from around James and he sighed, mentally praying that Lily was alright. And Sirius! Dear God, how had he forgotten about Sirius? Where was he?

'Where's Sirius?' James asked tiredly.

Bellatrix was now dangling Peter from his tail, lowering him slowly and suddenly pulling him back into the air. She looked up quickly at the sound of her cousin's name; her eyes narrowed.

'Missing your boyfriend Potter?'

'Ha ha, yeah I am. I miss all the filthy stuff we'd do together ... but really—' he was cut off by another staggering roar from a giant that didn't sound too far off. James looked around hesitantly. There were eight of them against him and a rat. This wasn't going to end well.

'We haven't found him yet, sweet James, but when we do...'

He felt a sharp pain that spread from his chest and seeped into every fibre of him. He fell to the ground, writhing with pain and shouting. So this was what death felt like? It spread rapidly, until James couldn't feel anything but the pain. His screams turned hoarse but he carried on screaming; maybe the screams would make it all better?

Someone hauled him up from the ground, and it was that same person that kept whispering in his ear. James turned to see who it was. Barty Crouch Jr. The maddest kid around. Only beating Sirius by a small fraction.

'Hello,' Barty said, grinning at all the others.

'Hi.' James replied breathlessly.

There was bellowing now, bellowing that grew closer and closer. Most of the children had evacuated, but there were still a few running towards them as well as over a dozen Death Eaters. They were shrieking and pushing the children out of the way.

'VAMPIRES!' the closest one bellowed, 'VAMPIRES! A DOZEN OF THEM!' Sure enough, strolling very slowly into view were two vampires. James recognised one of them; she had white translucent skin and was very short. The other too, had translucent skin, but of a chocolate shade. She was very beautiful, more beautiful than the paler one. But she was more terrible. Blood coated her face and her hands her caked in it. She threw aside the arm she had been drinking from and waved at James.

'Hello James!' She called.

He grinned back at her. 'Hey, you wouldn't mind helping me and old Pete out of this little pickle we've gotten ourselves in, would you?'

She cackled, turning to the lighter skinned vampire and winking. 'What d'ya say Natasha?'

Natasha pondered for a moment, but continued walking. She shrugged. 'Well ... he is really cute...'

_xo_

Sirius threw another punch, receiving one in turn. He spat the blood at Dolohov, momentarily blinding the man for a moment, before giving him one last, swift uppercut. Dolohov was a little taller than Sirius, and certainly bigger. But despite his size he couldn't beat the agility Sirius had, nor the disguised strength and the sheer determination the shorter one had, in hopes he would _save his friends!_

Dolohov fell to the floor, his eyes rolling in their sockets and his body still as stone. Sirius watched him for a moment, then wiped the sweat and blood from his face. He touched his heart, where the picture was, and contemplated for a moment whether to sob or not. He felt exhausted and angry and in pain. But he had to find the others. It was a stupid idea to separate himself from the locket.

Sirius was stolen however from his thoughts when he staggered and fell to the floor, his eyes turning redder and his mind growing wilder. He could feel Dolohov grabbing him but he paid no heed, for right now his mind was being stolen once again by Lord Voldemort.

_He was here._

Dolohov cackled, waving his wand and conjuring vines to tie around Sirius's hands before kicking him hard. Sirius moaned, falling onto his side and exhaling heavily. He tried passionately to grab his mind and pull it back towards him but it was hard. Lord Voldemort was furious, he was more than furious, he was _livid_.

But he was also ecstatic. If you could feel such polar emotions at the same time that is. Sirius's head was pulled back by his hair, and his throat was bared for all to see.

Dolohov tantalisingly tapped Sirius's throat with his wand and then pulled the shorter man up, dragging him by his tied arms across the floor.

'No,' Sirius cried. 'NO!' He wasn't returning to Voldemort, never again in his life did he want to go near the man. _And the locket? _He had the locket on him! He tried desperately to get out of Dolohov's grip but he couldn't. The man was strong and he had the upper hand, he had a wand pressed in Sirius's throat and vines wrapped around his hands.

'You're visiting your master, our master, the Dark Lord,' Dolohov started laughing, dragging Sirius past the Death Eaters who immediately gathered behind them, like a bunch of escorts. There were a few teenagers, watching from the sidelines with shocked expressions. Sirius could see Daisy! That girl he gave a ride on his motorbike, the little sister of his old ex. She was sobbing and screaming words at him, but he couldn't hear.

The teachers were kept at bay by the Death Eaters, and when Sirius looked back he could see that there were over thirty escorting him and Dolohov. They were now in the entrance hall, and from the distance they could hear shrieks.

The giants were standing on either end of the hall, enormous metal bats in their hands and the most frightening expressions. The teachers and the good Aurors had stopped fighting. Sirius could see Moody who was standing in front of a group of sixth and seventh years, in a protective stance. The Death Eaters and the bad Aurors mostly had their wands trained on everyone, keeping them at bay. What frightened Sirius the most however was the Headmaster's throne at the front of the hall. All the furniture had vanished, save the throne.

Sitting in the throne, was none other than the Dark Lord. When he saw Sirius, his expression turned from furious to happy, in fact, happy was too weak a word, he looked elated, delighted, thrilled. The room was buzzing with conversation, whispered threats, whimpers of pain and of course the harsh breathing of the two giants.

But everyone could hear the words Lord Voldemort uttered; it would be hard to miss them. 'Sirius Black,' he whispered.

Sirius tried to open his mouth but he couldn't. His voice wasn't there, his mouth was dry and there was a large lump settling in his throat. He closed his mouth.

'Oh Sirius,' Voldemort said, this time in a louder voice, with a teasing smirk and an arrogant smile clear on his unhandsome face. 'How I've missed you.'

_xo_

'—NO BELLATRIX, PLEASE, I'M BEGGING YOU!' James roared, running forwards and seizing her robes. She had her dagger resting on the rat's head. One inch and Peter would be dead. The vampires froze. They were in the middle of obliterating the Death Eaters, except of course Natasha had been injured gravely by Barty Crouch. He'd run off as soon as he had done it, but her strength was dwindling even though she managed to throw back the witch who was running at her.

'TELL THEM TO STOP THEN!' she cried, looking up at James with the same eyes Sirius had whenever he was furious; eyes that betrayed the madness within.

'STOP, STOP NOW!' he hollered. Natasha's eyes met his and he nodded once as inconspicuously as he could. It worked. She understood his message, and faster than a Killing Curse, bolted off in the other direction. The other vampire copied her.

Now it was just James. James, a rat, Bellatrix and a few other Death Eaters. Precisely three. A few had been killed or had run off.

Bellatrix looked at James, who held up his hands once again. She stared at him with such uncontained anger he was scared for a second, scared for his _life._ She breathed in calmly for a long while, and in this time James realised how quiet the school had gotten. There were a few individual battles going on around the school, but the hollering cries from the students and teachers, the bellowing roars from the giants – they had all stopped.

Bellatrix grabbed James's face and turned him so he was looking straight at her. She seethed through her teeth but she seemed calmer. 'We're going to the great hall, and if you try anything I'll kill your rat.'

James started forward, manoeuvring the corridors with such grace it was almost like he'd built the castle himself. He walked slowly, feeling Bellatrix's wand digging into the small of his back. She was muttering to herself and even laughed once or twice.

James however wished she was the one leading them, and he was blindfolded. He didn't want to see what he was seeing; all this death. The Astronomy teacher was dead, a puddle of blood pooled around her. There were dozens of students, some were alive but barely, and others were clearly dead. James noticed that none of these casualties were purebloods; he could recognise a pureblood a mile away and these, _these dead bodies_ were not the dead bodies of a pureblood child.

He gagged when he saw a head. It was unrecognisable and definitely did not belong to a teacher or a student. It was the head of an enemy, and the blood from it had been drained. James didn't know whether he felt sick or satisfied. He settled for something in between. There were many Death Eater bodies littering the halls, and James had never known that Voldemort's side had grown so large.

He also hadn't realised that barely two hours had passed. It felt like _days_ since he'd seen Lily, the love of his life. Hadn't he only just kissed her a little while ago? He could barely even remember being in Aberforth's house and going through that tunnel.

And the locket! Sirius had the locket, right? If they were caught then the locket would be found on Sirius and Voldemort would know what they were looking for, he would know their plans to kill him, he would know how _close_ they were to achieving it.

Stepping over a body carefully, James threw open the doors to the hall. First, he noticed how there was no furniture, save the throne at the front of the hall, where Voldemort was sitting. The giants were on either side of the hall, their bats swinging dangerously. The hall was silent, save the sounds of small distance battles taking place between a few rogue Death Eaters and vampires.

The teachers were shielding the students that hadn't managed to escape. A few Aurors who had turned against Lord Voldemort were on the floor with the wands of Death Eaters pointed at them. It truly looked like Voldemort had conquered them.

But what gave it away wasn't the sobbing students and teachers, or the defeated Aurors and the few Order members that had caught wind and come to aid, no. It was Sirius Black, kneeled before Lord Voldemort, his hands tied and Dolohov's wand pressed hard into his throat.

'Sirius,' James breathed, stepping forward despite himself. All eyes swivelled to him, including Sirius's.

'Prongs,' he breathed. But then a sharp purple bolt of light hit him and Sirius cried out, falling back on his side and writhing in pain.

'No,' James whispered, 'no, stop, _stop!_' He was about to run forward when Bellatrix jumped in front of him, her dagger balancing on Peter's head.

'You move again, you know what happens. Now watch my cousin feel pain.' Bellatrix said. James ignored her and closed his eyes but she wasn't having it; she slapped him hard. 'WATCH HIM!'

He opened his tear filled hazel eyes, whilst Sirius writhed on the floor and cried out softly. Some of the crowd were screaming insults at Voldemort and Dolohov, others were cheering. James however, was too absorbed in the fact that his friend was hurting and he needed to stop it.

'Stop, Antonin. Let us welcome the new guests. Come closer James Potter.' Voldemort's serpentine voice breathed softly. He managed to be heard over the crowd, but they were silenced immediately.

Sirius started gasping loudly, reaching out his hand for James. He hurried towards his friend and was about to embrace Sirius when he was seized from behind. A wand was pressed into his throat and there were lips at his ear, whispering a few words that his mind couldn't process.

He was too tired. His body heaved with pain and worry. He wanted to die.

'Don't let go of him Antonin, understand? Good. Now, Bella, bring me the rat—'

'NO!' James cried. 'Please, _please,_ don't hurt him, I'm begging you!'

Voldemort tilted his head and smiled smugly. 'You're willing to forgive the traitor who would have seen you and your family dead before himself?'

James swallowed and thought hard, wiping his face with his palm and running a hand through his hair. 'Yes.' He breathed.

'How honourable. Did you know he was an Animagus?'

'I helped him _become_ one.' James replied quietly, his heart drumming. Where was Remus? Was he alright? Dear God, please let Remus be alright.

As if by magic, the doors burst open once again. The giants roared but did nothing. In came Remus, with Emily by his side and Death Eaters forcing them forwards.

'We brought the wolf my Lord,' one of them said, beaming.

Voldemort clapped loudly, his face now lighting up. 'Here we have it Sirius; you're family, here with you. Are you happy?'

Sirius spat blood on the ground, wiping his mouth on his shoulder. 'Very,' he managed to say, his chest constricting as he found it harder and harder to breathe.

'Say, are you an Animagus, Sirius?'

He shook his head without missing a beat, it was quite convincing. 'If I manage to survive this, I'll try and become one though.'

Voldemort threw his head back and laughed. 'I've missed you quite a bit Sirius, you shouldn't have left.'

'If you'd given me more food, I might have stayed.' He replied.

'How is your son?'

The hall was silent. James was fidgeting in Dolohov's tight grip, Peter was squeaking and Remus was growling. They were very protective over Sirius, and the mention of his son would be sure to spike a response. Something Voldemort most certainly wanted.

Sirius dropped his head and balled his fists, breathing in as deeply as he could and trying to free his mind. He thought of that one time he had watched Rose breastfeed SJ, and the way he had felt like they were almost a family; quite a dysfunctional family, but a family nonetheless.

Sirius bit his lip. 'My – son – is – fine.' He spat through clenched teeth.

'That's lovely to hear Sirius. But now, I really must get to business.' The Dark Lord's whole demeanour changed. He straightened up and out of nowhere, his wand was in his hand pointing at him. 'Why did you come here tonight?'

Sirius thought for a bit, thinking hard about what to say. He couldn't tell the truth, he knew he couldn't. It was pathetic to even consider telling Voldemort why they were really here.

'I can't tell you.' He whispered.

'Louder Sirius, where has your courage disappeared to?'

'I CAN'T TELL YOU!' he roared, eyes flaming like dark burning coals.

Everyone flinched. The Dark Lord raised an eyebrow and pointed his wand at Sirius.

'Wrong answer,' he said, '_Crucio!_'

Sirius had learnt one thing when growing up in the House of Black. Dignity, honour and integrity were the most important things. Here, surrounded by friends and teachers, Death Eaters and vampires, he wasn't going to scream.

His eyes flickered to Moody, whose grimace was enough to give him courage. Sirius fell back on the floor, his body contorting into shapes no one knew were possible to make. He was so close to screaming, but he clamped down hard on his tongue and shut his eyes, letting the whimpers and moans escape but reining back that heartbreaking scream.

The spell was lifted and he let out a soft cry, barely heard by all the screams and threats sent Voldemort's way. The man threw an enormous spell over the room which silenced everyone. It wouldn't last long but it was enough to control the crowd, or _prisoners_ as most of them would become, for now.

Then Voldemort turned to Sirius, watching the young man gasping in a raggedy breath. His breathing was louder now everyone was silent. A bead of perspiration was rolling down his forehead and he tried to wipe it with his tied hands. The Dark Lord waved his wand and the vines fell away, setting Sirius's hands free.

'You want to play this game _again_ Sirius? How many times have I humoured you and played this game? You cannot beat me—'

'Wanna bet?' Sirius gasped, wiping the blood still trickling from his lip and the sweat on his forehead. It was so hot, despite the fact that it was January.

Voldemort frowned. 'Okay. Let's bet the lives of your friends—'

'No!'

'A minute for each of your little friends. If you scream in that minute Sirius, then they die. If you don't, then they survive my wrath, though that might not be the case for some of my loyal servants...'

'No, _no, NO!_' He cried, shaking his head and making to get up but he couldn't. He was being kept down. He struggled but it grew so painful his chest was constricting, his breathing grew laboured and he felt himself start to fade.

'First, let's start with Peter, hmm? Set him down Bella, I want him to be human.'

Sirius turned and watched as the Dark Lord send a spell to the rat, forcing him to shift from rat form to human form. Peter's face was red like blood and his eyes were wet. The Silencing Charm Voldemort had cast on everyone was fading, and with a cry he sent a stronger one, once again bringing silence to the hall.

'_Crucio!_' He breathed.

Sirius, like before, fell back, his head connecting painfully with the stone floor. He furiously thought for a moment, he tried as hard as he could to stop the scream from coming, because it was rising from his very core to his throat.

He thought of Rose and how much he loved her. He thought of his son, his beautiful baby boy. He thought hard of the day him and Rose conceived SJ, or rather, the weekend they made SJ. They would never know which day, they would never know which _moment_; they had made a lot of love in Paris. Sirius thought hard of her kisses, the feel of SJ's skin, the moment he first saw his son. The pain was still there, so was the temptation to scream, but he slipped further and further into a dream state and further away from reality.

Then the spell was cut off. He barely noticed; his whole mind focused on trying to bring as much oxygen as he could into his lungs.

When he looked up at Voldemort, the man was wearing a smile; the fakest smile Sirius had ever seen in his life. He had done it, Peter was saved. Voldemort stood up for the first time, coming to his staggering height of well over six foot. He walked down the three steps that separated him from all the rest, as if he were some sort of god that deserved to be higher than everyone else.

'You've saved him, Sirius. How proud are you?'

Whatever retort was dancing on his tongue slipped away when he felt himself grow more dazed. His lungs were protesting at the lack of oxygen and his ribs ached.

'Let us show everyone how much you care about the werewolf. Yes?'

He didn't bother wasting any oxygen on Voldemort, and instead braced himself. Sirius focused on how he had felt when he first saw SJ, how the whole world slipped away except for the baby. He had started crying. Not because he had been sad, but because he had been so, _so _happy. Words couldn't describe the overwhelming happiness he had felt. Pain had been there, of course it had. The pain at her betrayal, pain at coming home to a two month old baby.

What had shocked him most was _just_ how much Sirius James looked like him. Right down to the one faint dimple on his left cheek. His son's eyes were his own, right down to the curliness of the lashes and the flecks of different shades of grey.

Sirius bit down so hard on his tongue, he tasted blood. He was sure he was going to scream if the spell wasn't lifted, and just as Voldemort lifted the spell, Sirius sucked in as much oxygen as he could and hollered at the top of his lungs. It was shrill and caused the giants to growl and bang their bats.

But he had done it; he had managed to last a minute. His scream echoed long after he closed his mouth. He wheezed and struggled for breath, closing his eyes and covering his face. He bit into his palm so hard blood streamed out.

Voldemort was still talking but he couldn't hear the man, he couldn't hear anything but the sounds of his heart beating. The crowd had broken through the Silencing Charm but that was the least of Voldemort's problems. He was being made a fool of. He needed to try harder.

Before Sirius could even adjust, the spell was on him again. His mind barely registered the scream he shrieked into the hall that silenced everyone, even Voldemort. It was a heart wrenching cry that lasted for hundreds of moments.

When Sirius closed his mouth, he realised what he had done. He turned his head to face James, who was still as stone and white as parchment.

'No,' Sirius panted. 'No, _no, no! Please, please I'm begging you, PLEASE!_ PLEASE DON'T KILL HIM! KILL ME! KILL ME!' He screamed hysterically, jumping up on unsteady feet and standing in front of his _brother_.

Dolohov realised James and Sirius immediately ran back, covering his friend's body with his own, shrieking for Voldemort to listen to him.

'Stand aside Sirius. I don't need Potter to get the secret. I just need _you._' The Dark Lord was pointing his wand at Sirius, a resolute and elated expression lighting up his face. 'Unless you're willing to tell me where Harry Potter is?' Voldemort bared his teeth when Sirius shook his head, and he pointed his wand at them. 'You won't tell me where Harry Potter is? Then stand aside Sirius. You _lost._'

'No, NO,_ I'M BEGGING YOU!_' He cried shrilly, ignoring the wails of the giants. Sirius gasped in pain and looked down at his forearm. His mark was white this time, and it was contorting into shapes he didn't know were possible.

He grasped his forearm and looked Voldemort deep in the eye before jabbing down on his mark. His holler of pain wasn't the only one that echoed through the hall, so did Voldemort's. They both fell to the floor, pain possessing every fibre of their being.

But Sirius was prepared for this. He wrapped his arms around James's legs and thought hard of the place he wanted to go. He had a mark, he could apparate and disapparate here in Hogwarts wherever and whenever he wanted, like the Death Eaters.

Before anyone could even comprehend what Sirius Black was doing, he disapparated, taking James Potter with him. The crack ripped through the air like lightning, and that seemed to be the last straw for the giants. It also seemed to be the last straw for the good Aurors and the teachers and the students.

Battle two had started.

As for Sirius Black and James Potter, they were six floors up, in the west wing of the castle.

'Where are we?' James whispered quietly, looking around.

Sirius wiped his eyes and hiccupped, sobbing into his hands. He looked up at James. 'We-we're g-going to f-find T-Trelawney. I'm g-going to kill him, _now._'

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><p><em>AN: Yes, a very sad chapter, I know._

_Leave a review, thank you_

_-xo_


	38. A Prophecy

_Disclaimer; I don't own anything but the plot and OCs._

_A/N: I've been waiting to post this for you guys for so long. Sorry for all the alerts!_

_Leave a review and tell me what you think!_

_-xo_

* * *

><p><em>xoxo<em>

_38. A Prophecy_

James couldn't think of anything to do other than wind his arms around his "brother" and hold him tight. He held the tears back adamantly, and was more successful then he had anticipated. But that didn't stop a choked noise slipping out of his mouth.

He had really thought he was going to die. When Lord Voldemort had turned his wand onto James, he had honestly and truly thought that this day would be his last. And so he had thought of Lily, and all there kisses. He had thought of Harry, the most important person in his life. He had even thought a little of Snape for some strange reason. But what was weirdest was how most of James's mind had been taken over by the Marauders. All he could think of was the Marauders. Sirius Black, his best friend and brother. Remus Lupin, the person he trusted most and the person he knew he could count on forever.

With Peter? James had felt regret, the inevitable tide of apology washing over him – he would apologise to Peter later, if he ever got to see his friend again. He would apologise for being so hard on him and for being so hateful, so _hurtful_.

'It's okay Pads, we're okay,' James whispered into his brother's ear, stroking his hair. 'You saved me.'

He was still overwhelmed. James had expected pain to hit him, maybe even a light when they had been inside the great hall and the Dark Lord was about to kill him. But instead, Sirius's body had hit him, and with a crack, they had disapparated. Now though, now they were here, in a corridor that would lead off to Trelawney's and in his arms was his best friend, sobbing.

James had never seen Sirius Black cry so much. He kissed his friend's hair, and maybe most guys wouldn't do that to their friend, but most guys didn't _have_ a friend like Sirius. He craved, no; he _needed _there to be a display of physical affection. After being deprived of it for most of his life, Sirius needed hugs and kisses like a drowning person needed oxygen.

'I'm here mate, you're safe, okay?'

Sirius was about to wipe his nose on his sleeve, but instead, was poked in the face with something white and pointy. He looked down at the yew wand with a wide-eyed and slightly incredulous expression. He bit his lip. 'J-Ja—'

'Shit.' James whispered, taking the wand out of Sirius's sleeve tentatively and examining it. The wand radiated power and prestige and almightiness. It was a frightening wand. It had an intricate and beautiful carving on the skin that looked almost _dainty_. There were little engravings that spread across the base of the wand like roots.

He handed it back to Sirius who took it uncertainly. Reluctantly, he waved the wand. The ground under their feet split, hot air shooting into their faces with a WHOOSH. Sirius gasped and waved it again, sealing the ground with a radiating crack. The noise echoed through the empty and quiet corridor.

'You're not serious, are you?' James breathed, his hand coming to rest on his friend's shoulder.

'About killing him now, killing him today? Prongsie, I've never been more _serious_ in my life,' replied the one with a star for his name.

'Pads,' James sighed, shaking his head and scoffing. 'You can't kill 'em. You just can't mate. Look, we've escaped. We've got the locket and we've got Voldemort's wand. What more do we need?'

'We need him dead!' Sirius exclaimed angrily, turning to glare at James. 'I'm so sorry, I'm—' he choked on what he was about to say, 'I'm _never ever _going to risk your life again like that, and I'm so sorry Jamie that you almost died, but what's the point of fighting if we're never going to _risk_ anything.'

The bespectacled man remained silent, nibbling hard enough on his tongue to taste the crimson blood in his mouth. 'H-How would we e-even...'

'That's why we're here, that's why I've taken us to Trelawney! Remember the letter from Dumbledore? We're going to find out what that damn prophecy of hers said and we're going to try and destroy this horcrux. And then—'

'Then we go back to him and try to kill him. I get it.' James whispered, clutching Sirius's hand in his own. 'I'm scared.' His voice was as quiet as the footsteps of a mouse; barely even there.

'Me too.' Sirius breathed back, dropping his head to his pointed knees and breathing in as calmly as he could for seconds. Then when he looked up, that reddish glint that had possessed the waves of grey in his eyes had now left. He looked almost normal. Almost.

'Okay. Prongs? Sirius suddenly asked, immediately disliking the queasy expression that had overtaken the usually handsome face James had. 'James, we're going to survive okay? We're going to get through this, you trust me right? You trust me with your life? Especially after ... after what just happened back there. I promise, I promise with _my life_ that you'll get to see Harry again and I'll get to see my son, my _girlfriend_ ... I owe her so much. We'll get to grow old and we'll get pissed and fight with a bunch of Muggles in a bar. This isn't the end Prongsie, I promise you. Trust me, okay? Please _trust_ me.'

In answer, James got up, slowly but surely. Then he offered his hand to Sirius and helped best friend up. 'Of course I trust you. I would be dumb not too.'

Sirius sighed in relief. Little did James know and little would he ever know if the Marauders managed survived this, but Sirius had been anticipating the answer. He had anticipated with worry and fright whether James trusted him, whether his friend _truly _trusted him.

'We can do this, I promise. Now, it's time to find out what Trelawney's been saying about us.' He said, the relief in his voice evident.

James gulped and nodded.

_xo _

The whole hall was in havoc. The screams of students seemed to permanently fill the air. The duels now commenced with more vigour and power than before. The most noticeable difference was the bravery the teachers, students and Aurors fought with. It was like watching Sirius Black being tortured and watching the other Marauders wait in anticipation as their fates were decided sparked something inside them.

Most of the Aurors were now fighting _against _Lord Voldemort. Not for, but against. They had come to sense. It was wrong to fight with the wrong side. The _bad_ side. There were bodies littering the ground, bodies of both students, teachers, Death Eaters and Aurors alike. To see that no one batted an eyelash, no one took the time to pay respect was what truly turned the war cold.

Many students were fighting against the war, despite the fact that now the majority of students in Hogwarts were pureblood. You knew something was wrong when even the people who agreed with it turned against it. They fought with power and strength; after all, many purebloods were taught to duel from a young age. What also spiked interest were the vampires and the giants. There seemed to be some rivalry going on between the dozen or so vampires there were, and the two gigantic giants.

Their bellowing roars echoed through the school; even the creatures safe in the Forbidden Forest scurried away, clearly frightened. Standing in the centre of the hall, battling with strength and power and control was Remus Lupin, who slashed his wand with fury and shouted the curses he aimed at the enemy. Besides him was Peter Pettigrew, impressing all those who ever doubted him and even frightening a few.

Peter was in a state between regret, pain and happiness. He had never wanted to apologise more in his life than now, to James and Sirius, who had stood up to the Dark Lord for him. Forever, Peter would be grateful. He cried out when a spell cut his cheek sharply. He turned away to cover Remus's back, because now the Death Eaters were advancing on them. With terrible scowls and furious glowers, they advanced, like a regiment of soldiers.

The old Peter would have cowered away, like a frightened fairy. But this new Peter, this _better _Peter stood his ground. He could have turned into Wormtail and fled. But he wouldn't leave Remus like that, Remus who had fought first to salvage their relationship, Remus who had always been kindest.

The vampires were vicious, and for a slow moment they stole Peter's attention, but then again they had stolen almost everyone's attention. They had now totally obliterated one of the giants, who lay dead of the ground after letting out the most macabre and blood-curdling noise. The other giant, the female, roared, banging her chest and sweeping two vampires away from her. Already, the vampire numbers were wavering. There were only four left, including Emily, who was favouring her left side a little too much.

A sharp spell that skimmed Peter's arm stole his attention. He turned to see Crabbe, a faithful and disgustingly loyal follower of both the Dark Lord and Lucius Malfoy. He too had made Peter's life in Hogwarts hell. He felt even more motivated to not let his attention flounder and to _win _this fight. He had to win.

'STUPEFY—'

'AVADA KEDAVRA!'

If not for Remus then Peter would have been dead. But he wasn't. He gasped for breath and watched Remus flick his wand and throw back Crabbe into the crowd. The spell was misdirected and hit someone else. Peter could've laughed but instead pumped his fist triumphantly; the spell had hit one of the _bad _Aurors.

With a laugh on his face, Peter turned to see the Dark Lord watching him, barely paying attention to the duel he was currently in. Peter didn't know whose wand Voldemort was currently using, but it seemed to be doing the job of beating the McGonagall and Flitwick and Frank Longbottom pretty well. Peter looked away sharply, the fear in his body possessing him.

Now though, he was confronted with the image of Snape, Severus Snape fighting furiously with Moony. Moony, who had been battling passionately for what seemed like hours. Moony, whose strength was wavering, whose stamina was faltering. Moony, who would lose soon.

Peter cried out when a sharp spell barely grazed him. He fell to the floor, watching bitterly as the same spell hit a girl, maybe sixteen, and she fell to the floor, dead. Some old "friends" advanced on Peter's aching body but before they could catch him he transformed into Wormtail, hurrying away as fast as he could, dodging spells and dead bodies with expertise. When Remus saw Wormtail scurrying, a message seemed to flow between them. Peter wasn't fleeing, he wasn't like that anymore. He had a plan.

He transformed back into his human form and started running now, a small line of students forming behind him whilst he called them. They were following him as he led them _away_ from the danger. Peter couldn't fight when there were kids there, he couldn't let anymore die. He was going to lead them to the Forbidden Forest. The sky was now a dark blue and the sun would rise soon. The Forbidden Forest would be dangerous, but it couldn't be more dangerous then where they were now.

Long after Peter was out of the hall, he could still feel Lord Voldemort's eyes, boring into his back. He looked back worriedly but Voldemort wasn't there. Peter shivered and told the students to hurry up; there must have been well over a hundred following him now. Flitwick had now joined the line to get the students away, as had Filch and Hagrid. This was going down better than Peter had hoped. As he looked back for the millionth time however, his hope faltered.

_They were coming._

_xo_

Lily was scared, so scared. She was angry too. She'd been in here for a while now, with no shred of knowledge as to what was going on. James could be dead for all she knew.

James could be dead. He could be dead. Her _baby_ could be dead. Lily kicked the tiled wall in front of her and snatched her cloak from the ground. Like hell was she going to sit around and wait to be rescued, she was independent and strong and _good _at fighting! Why should James stand around having all the fun whilst she stayed behind like a submissive good little wife.

She threw open the prefect bathroom door and strode out. The first thing she noticed was the noise. It was magnified by a thousand now she was standing in a corridor. The wails hit her ears painfully, as did the shouts and bellows and cries.

Lily gulped. She raised her wand and looked around cautiously, but the corridor remained empty, save a little girl in the corner. Lily had almost missed her because she was so small. The girl was cradling her arm and her leg seemed to be sticking out at a funny angle.

Approaching her carefully and tentatively, Lily called out. 'Are you alright?'

The young girl shrieked, looking around wildly. When she saw Lily she flinched. 'No, please, I'm sorry! Don't hurt me, please!'

Lily almost cried out. The girl was no older than twelve. Her face was mangled and blood streaked her blonde hair. 'No, no I would _never _hurt you.' Lily breathed, stepping closer until she could make out the flicks of brown in the girl's vivid green eyes.

When she was close enough to touch the girl's hand, the girl flinched. 'I'm _begging _you...'

'I'm not going to hurt you, I promise. What's your name?' Lily breathed, her mind wracking the spells that would save the girl. She noticed the Slytherin uniform but her mind dismissed it as unimportant. The little girl was hurting, nothing mattered but making her feel better.

'Rosa,' she whispered.

Lily was conjuring bandages and plasters and some Dittany. She started talking to try and soothe the girl. 'I have a friend called Rose. She has hair like yours, a sort of golden blonde. And eyes not as green as yours. You have beautiful eyes.'

'You're Lily.' Rosa whispered, wiping her nose and whimpering in pain when Lily waved her wand.

She nodded. 'Yeah, I am.'

'You're in the newspapers and magazines. You're the Mudblood that married James Potter. He was fighting back in there wasn't he?'

Lily sighed and nodded, the word causing her no harm but the way the girl said it, the way she dismissed its meaning entirely was what got to Lily. 'Do you know what happened to him?'

Rosa shook her head. 'No, no I – be careful! That _hurts_.'

'I know, I'm sorry. But you're leg, it's broken. And your arm is _mangled_ to the point where I don't know what I can do. Just hang in there though, yeah? We can do this. I'll help you, I prom—' Lily was cut off by the loudest wail yet, ripping through the air like an explosion. She flinched. 'I can't help you here...'

'I saw that traitor, the rat man running by with some of the teachers. They were leading kids away—'

'Peter!' Lily exclaimed. 'Okay, I've got to get you out of here. But I promise Rosa, I promise I'll help you and heal you. Now, are you heavy?'

Rosa shook her head. When Lily slipped her hands under the girl, she screamed. 'Shh, shh, it's okay, I'm trying to help you, bite your jumper, come on,' Lily pleaded. Then she ignored the girl's screams and begging and pulled her up.

The girl wasn't exactly heavy, but she was too big for Lily to carry bridal style. She carried Rosa bridal style anyway, despite the fact that it was a little awkward and uncomfortable. Rosa looped her arms around Lily's neck and whimpered into her shirt quietly.

'I'm so sorry Rosa, I'm so sorry.' Lily kept repeating. Thanks to her beautiful amazing husband, she knew many routes and shortcuts in Hogwarts. Within minutes, they were out of the castle with the sounds of fighting right behind them. But right ahead were a gang of Death Eaters, and before that were the group Rosa had been talking about. Peter, Hagrid, Flitwick and many students. They were all there.

And they were racing towards the Forbidden Forest.

_xo_

Sybil knew it was early, but she loved marking essays and homework early in the morning. First though, she was going to make a cup of Earl Grey tea. It got her thinking. As she walked to the small kitchen in her quarters, she thought of yesterday.

Sybil had really thought she was going to make a prophecy, but it hadn't worked. The inner eye however, only reveals itself when necessary. Obviously yesterday had not been necessary enough for the inner eye to indulge her.

Sybil waved her wand at the kettle which started brewing. She took a few things out of the cupboard and within minutes, she had a warm and delicious cup of Earl Grey. She turned around and her eyes met eyes of grey, a burning grey, like a storm. Sybil screamed, dropping her mug of burning hot tea.

Another arm wound its way around her neck from behind and she felt lips at her ear. 'Now, you can either work with us the easy way...'

'Or the hard way,' Sirius Black finished, grinning at the man behind Sybil.

_xo _

Rose woke up with no besides her, no one behind her, no one _holding_ her. Hadn't Sirius been holding her? With a cry she realised it had been a dream. He hadn't been running his fingers through her hair, nor had he been kissing her fingertips or holding her.

But it had felt so _real_. Rose inspected her fingers whilst her mind danced. Maybe she could ask him about it later? Or maybe he was still asleep. Hadn't her love said he was going to sleep with Remus? She'd ask him in a bit. But maybe asking Sirius wasn't such a good idea. He might get mad at her.

Rose stood up, stretching. She peered into the crib and smiled softly when she saw her son, Sirius James Black. Rose wasn't proud of much in her life, but she was proud of this baby before her. She was so proud her heart felt like bursting with joy.

When her teeth were brushed and she had some of Sirius's old teenage clothes on (which still managed to be a little big for her) Rose lifted her son carefully, wrapping his body up in a blanket. The sounds of crying hit her first; loud, crying. The door was thrown open and she looked up, expecting to see Lily carrying Harry.

She was right about the Harry part. But Lily wasn't there. Harry was crying, crying _hard._ He was kicking his feet and trying to explain why exactly he was crying.

'Dog fff-fuck – gone, Dog ... Lil – want,' the toddler panted, using his hands to try and show her.

'What?' Rose breathed, her mind trying to mix the words together to produce an understandable sentence. Then her mouth dropped open. 'No. _No-no-no!_' She cried, putting her now screaming son back in his crib.

Rose bent down, swiftly lifting Harry from the floor, who wound his arms around her neck, and she ran from Sirius's bedroom, down the corridor and into James and Lily's room. It was empty. Rose cried out, hurrying to the banister and up the stairs. She threw open the door to the room Peter was staying in. The bed was made but no one was there.

_No!_ She hurried to Remus's room. _Please God, let him be there. Let him and Sirius be there._ She was wrong, yet again. Harry now was screaming louder, upon seeing that his uncles were not there too. They had to be downstairs, in the lounge, in the drawing room, _anywhere_.

When Rose burst into the drawing room, Harry still hollering at the top of his lungs. She could see only Walburga, sitting down with a cup of tea in one hand and a note in the other. Sitting on the table was a vial filled to the brim with memories, the memories of Kreacher the house elf.

Walburga looked up. And the face of her grandson's Mother was enough of an indication to tell her what had happened. 'They're not here are they?'

Rose wiped her eyes on Harry's head, breathing in his calming scent and kissing the top of his head. 'No, they're not.'

'Then we wait. We wait for them to come back.'

_xo_

'I don't know what you're talking about!' Sybil cried, her eyes leaking tears. 'Please, _please,_ aren't you supposed to be the heroes?' She sobbed.

'Heroes are a fairytale invention. There's no such thing.' Sirius's voice was sharp and blunt and his patience was wearing thing. 'We want to kill Voldemort. That's all. We don't care about anything else.'

'And you're the key to that.' James said, turning her around. She was tied to a chair, but it was a comfortable chair. Sirius sat on the floor before her and James stood to her side, his wand balanced near her head.

She closed her eyes and then opened them. 'Dumbledore said...'

'He told us in his letter dammit! D'you think we want to be wasting our time with an old fraud? We're sceptical enough as it is and we don't want to be up here with you when our friends could be dying a few floors down, but we have to! So stop complaining and try to _help _us!'

Sybil's eyes watered once again. Sirius knew he shouldn't have been so harsh, but she was being difficult. They weren't going to get it the easy way. Which meant they needed to apply some force. He growled and pulled out his wand, jumping to his feet. 'Are you going to be like this then Trelawney?'

'Pl-pl—' she cried, shaking her head and trying to move about in the binds, but failing, 'pl- I don't know what you're—'

'Legilimens!' Sirius hissed. The power of Voldemort's wand still knocked him off course, and he gasped. It hit him, all her memories. He paddled through her memories and found that there was a barrier, which he knew he wouldn't have been able to get through without Voldemort's almighty wand. With a cry, the barrier shattered around him as he whispered a sharp spell.

The memories were so different to the ones that possessed her normal mind. It was like this section was dormant. He heard Trelawney gasp raggedly, as if she was shocked too. Sirius realised with a jolt that she really had been telling the truth. She didn't know about any of these prophecies she made. Sirius sorted through them, almost like they were nothing but files he could casually tossed aside.

Then he found it.

It was a powerful one that needed another shock from his wand to control it. He could hear in the distance Sybil crying aloud, James asking what was happening and something breaking.

The prophecy drummed through his ears, it had an ethereal echoing sound to it. Trelawney's voice was unlike her normal one in the prophecy, and her eyes were mooned over. Sirius struggled to sort the words out, he stumbled around blindly, the image of that day she condemned him taking over every sense of his very being.

When it finished, he could barely breathe. He slumped to the ground and fell back, his head connecting with the floor. Luckily, there was a pillow right where he fell. His body tingled with the strange sensation of ecstasy and happiness. He coughed into his hand and before he knew it, he started laughing. _He shall replace the place of the boy he loves most. The boy who competes with another he does not know. _

That strange corner of Trelawney's mind knew about his own son before he did. But that hardly mattered right now. What mattered was the prophecy. The prophecy spoke about the darkness inside Sirius, the darkness that he pretended he did not see. It talked about the Marauders, about his friends, his _best friends._ It talked about how love was the only thing that could help them. But wasn't Sirius doing this all for love, wasn't he doing this for his son and his friends, for Lily and _Rose._ This was all in the name of love —

'SIRIUS! SHE'S MAKING ANOTHER—'

'— _the star shall rise. But all stars shall die. Death will come faster than either perceived and with it shall come one choice. To Rise to Greatness or to Fall to Power. Time has patience but Time is fast. Power has hunger, the hunger to control. Hunger than ends not with a taste but with devoured seconds of Time that pass. Time will catch up and thus Time might win. But both shall lose and both shall win. One is Power whilst the other is Time. Time is fast and Power has hunger, the hunger to control. But both shall lose and both shall win.'_

Her voice was terrible, like a storm and a nightmare merged into one. It hardly made sense to Sirius, but he knew now. He knew that he was Time. He had meddled in time and now he was Time. And Voldemort? It was easy. He was Power; hungry, devouring power.

Sirius felt something pass him but he was too absorbed in a state of shock to really care. His eyes were blurred and he could hardly make out whose face was before his. But he knew those hazel eyes anywhere.

'— Padfoot, got it? We're going to get him, before he gets you mate, I promise. _Padfoot!_ I swear it, I swear you'll be alright!'

Sirius nodded slowly, the red in his eyes fading. He wiped the drool from his lip. 'Got it.' Then he turned to face Sybil for a brief moment before looking back at his friend. 'Prongs, we've got to kill her.'

'What?' James breathed, turning to look at Sybil. 'You're joking, you've got to be joking!'

'She can make prophecies, we're in danger if she stays alive. It's not safe for us, she can reveal everything, _everything_ James, to Voldemort—'

James roared and shook his head. 'You can't be fucking serious Padfoot! She's helpless! And if Voldemort has done nothing to her yet, why do we need to kill her? He's had all the opportunities to do whatever he wanted with her but he hasn't. So _no _Padfoot! We're not killing her—'

Sirius bit his lip and looked up when his friend abruptly stopped talking. He thought hard for a moment, and like a bulb went off in his head, he had a new idea. He nodded to himself and then to James. 'Okay, we'll just erase her memories, we'll erase all the things she remembers from her past predictions. Is that _cool _with you James?'

James nodded curtly. 'That's fine by me.'

Sybil wasn't even listening, she barely seemed to care. She was stuck in some sort of shell-shocked world. When Sirius called her twice she didn't answer. They unbound her and set her down onto the sofa. James made her Earl Grey and Sirius tried to suss her out of that peculiar state she was trapped in. When Sybil Trelawney finally emerged, she was very quiet. Slightly hysterical but noticeably different from how she had been before.

'Are you alright Sybil?' James asked, shooting a nasty look to his friend who had saved his life only an hour ago.

'You need a dagger, goblin-made. I have one. Pierce your friend's forearm with it and let the goblin-made silver soak up the venom. Then kill the horcrux with it.' She talked slowly and in a half-there half-not way.

Sirius's eyes narrowed disbelievingly and he almost laughed. 'H-How d'you know this?'

'Just do it. The dagger is behind my nightstand. It's the most precious thing I have.'

James was the one who left to retrieve the dagger, but not before shooting a warning glare at Sirius, a million thoughts passing through the telekinetic brothers. Sirius however, stepped closer to Sybil Trelawney, taking her smaller hands in his own. They were a little aged, despite the fact that she wasn't much older than him. He touched her hands tentatively and read the story they told. Then he looked into her eyes.

'How do you know?'

'I just do.' She replied in the same weathered, aged voice.

'Why do we need goblin-made ... aah. Goblin-made silver takes in that which makes it stronger. The venom is concentrated enough for the dagger to take some of it in. It's the only thing that could kill him. You're brilliant.' Why had he even considered killing her? Because he was mad, that's why. In all honesty, Sirius knew he was mad. It scared him.

James came back in, carrying a ten inch dagger, pure silver and dazzling in the dim candlelight. Sirius tentatively touched it and smiled at the way it chilled his skin. He pulled out the locket, which made a sort of lurching movement on its own accord when it came close to Sirius's left forearm.

'This plan's brilliant. It's working, look Jamie, the locket's responding—' Sirius didn't care if he sounded three years old, he hadn't felt so exhilarated or excited for such a long time. He could feel it, the power radiating through his body. And his mind was conscious of every tick and tock the clock made. He was Time. He was conscious of the time ticking by. They needed to hurry.

'You need to do it.' Sirius told James, looking away and biting his lip. He rolled up his sleeve to reveal the dazzling Dark Mark. It was black now, almost like it sensed what was going to happen. If the Dark Mark was black then that meant the venom had risen to the surface. Was Sirius's own body trying to help him?

'No—' James cried, his expression heartbreakingly devastated. 'No Paddy, you can't let me...'

'You want me to do it? I won't do it right Prongsie! Do it, please, I'm _begging _you. If you want this to end Jamie ...'

James snatched the dagger from the table and looked his friend in the eye. 'I'm so sorry.'

'It's oka—' he let out a roar, deep and burning. The dagger drove through his skin, blood spilling to the surface and coating his arm and the table. The dagger shone for a moment as it sucked in the venom. A little droplet of Basilisk Venom oozed out onto Sirius's forearm and he roared, jumping up. James tried to restrain him, wrapping a hand around Sirius's throat and stopping him whilst he waited for the dagger to stop shining.

It stopped shining. James pulled it out as gently as he could, but it was no use, Sirius bellowed anyway. He threw the dagger onto the table and whipped out his wand, pointing it at his friend's bleeding arm.

'No, wait,' Sirius breathed, examining the wound. Another bead of venom dripped out. He gritted his teeth as he snatched the dagger and wiped the droplets of venom using the shining silver edge. There was another smaller cut but he didn't care, but regardless, he gasped anyway. He wanted this to work. The silver dagger shone for a short moment.

'Done,' Sirius panted. James touched the tip of his dark wand to his friend's forearm and whispered a string of spells. But it wasn't sealing properly, there was still a jagged line and the edges weren't closed properly. The blood continued to flow out. 'Use the...' Sirius panted, 'use the _yew wand_,' he managed to gasp, breathing in as deeply as he could.

James snatched the wand from the table and waved it. It was better and a lot more powerful. The edges of the wound sealed together, but there was a jagged and thick line that ran through the now white Dark Mark. Sirius gasped for breath, throwing his head back and sucking in as much oxygen as he could.

'Thank you,' James whispered to Sybil Trelawney. 'I promise, I _promise,_ I'll return this to you. As soon as the job is done, we'll bring this back, won't we Sirius? Sirius ... oi mate?'

Sirius wasn't listening however. He was looking down at the locket in his hands, writhing and squirming as it moved around and around, almost as though there was something inside it that was fighting to get out, to get away.

He slammed it down to the table where it finally became still. But then Sirius grabbed the knife from James's hands, and before either of them could even comprehend what the dog Animagus was doing, with a scream he plunged the dagger into the skin of the locket.

The locket screeched, echoing through the room for hundreds of seconds. The air grew thicker and denser and Sirius found it hard to breathe. So did James. When the screech ended and the smoke cleared and the air thinned, both Marauders looked down at the locket.

It wasn't majestic anymore, nor was it dazzling or beautiful. The locket had shrivelled in on itself, contorting into an ugly shape. The skin was cracked and broken and perhaps the most noticeable thing was obviously the deep and thick wound in the locket's body. The horcrux was dead.

The Marauders looked at each other, their eyes matching in disbelief and happiness. Sirius sighed, wiping his face which, like James, had blood on it. But his hands had blood on them too, and if anything, he had added even more. But he didn't care.

He'd done it. He'd killed the horcrux. And now? Now all he had to do was kill Voldemort.

Piece of cake.

_xo_

It was easy. No, that was a lie. And Lord Voldemort never lied to himself. It was challenging. Yes, that was a better word. _Challenging. _But the teachers and Aurors, even though there were three against him, were still no match for the great Dark Lord.

But then Voldemort staggered. It wasn't because of a spell that had managed to snake past his shield. It was a pain, a deep pain inside of him. A pain inside his chest where his soul was.

Lord Voldemort gasped, sucking in as much air as he could. The pain was spreading, tingling his body and soaring through his veins, before coming to rest at his fingertips. The hairs on his neck stood up, a lump settled in his throat and he could hardly breathe.

He didn't know what it was. He didn't even know if he _wanted _to know what it was. But it couldn't be good. Things had been going well these past few months, so many things were going right. But ever since Sirius Black entered his life things had been going so wrong, so terribly wrong. He needed to kill the young boy and then things would start to go right again.

Lord Voldemort roared, throwing all the witches and wizards he was battling backwards. If he wanted to find Sirius Black then he needed to follow Peter Pettigrew who had run off an hour ago with the students. He needed to follow Remus Lupin, who had shortly rejoined Peter and had run off in the same direction. He needed to get the most important people in Sirius's life and lure the young man to him.

If he couldn't find Sirius Black, then he would make sure Sirius Black could find him.

* * *

><p><em>AN: One horcrux down, tell me what you think and leave a review!_

_Next chapter: 39. The Forbidden Forest, where things are resolved ... or are they?_

_Leave a review, take care!_

_-xo_


	39. The Forbidden Forest

_Disclaimer; I don't own anything but some spells and/or potions, OCs and of course the plot. Thank you :)_

_A/N: I hope you like this chapter, sorry if it sucks..._

* * *

><p><em>xoxo<em>

_39. The Forbidden Forest_

Lily didn't know where the strength came from, but she managed to carry the small girl Rosa _and_ run full speed ahead. Her heart was beating fast whilst she tried desperately to hide her body and Rosa's, because seconds later, another flock of Death Eaters rounded the corner and raced as fast as they could towards the Forbidden Forest.

The Death Eaters were chasing the students and the teachers and Peter. Soon, Lily saw Aurors, good and bad, follow the Death Eaters. And it was almost like the fight was now going to commence in the forest. The Forbidden Forest. Lily couldn't just sit here and do nothing, she had to fight too! She couldn't just sit here whilst people were dying and fighting for what was right.

But _Rosa..._

She turned to face the girl, whose eyes were closed and whose expression was a mixture of serenity and pain. 'Are you alright?' Lily asked, pulling out her wand from her robe pocket and conjuring bandages, Dittany; the whole lot. 'Don't worry sweetheart,' she crooned, 'I've got everything right here, you're going to be fine ... got it? Okay, I'm going to mend your leg and arm first, then I'll do the cuts and wounds ... this is easy, you'll be fine...'

'Hurry,' Rosa whispered, looking up to see more and more "troops" raging off to the forest to catch Peter and the students who dared to flee. 'Hurry.'

'Don't be scared. When I fix your wounds and injuries, I'll take you somewhere safe. I won't let them hurt you.' Lily declared, touching the girl's cheek for a moment before looking back down to all the things she had conjured.

'My mother,' the small blonde girl breathed, 'always said that Muggles and Mudbloods were horrible, evil thieves. She taught me from a young age to never fraternise with them, to steer clear if I wanted to keep my magic and to keep my dignity. But ... but you're helping me ... maybe my mother was wrong. Maybe it's not _all_ Mudbloods and Muggles.'

'Maybe,' Lily replied back quietly, 'your mother is wrong about it all.' Then she clamped her hand over Rosa's mouth and whispered a spell, a soft ball of lilac hitting the small girl's twisted and mangled leg. Her howl echoed long after it was uttered.

_xo _

Snape had beaten him, and now all he had to wait for was the Killing Curse. Maybe death wouldn't hurt that much, maybe it was more beautiful than people thought it was. Maybe they were just scared in case they were wrong. But Remus didn't mind if he was wrong, he had always loved learning more. And a huge process in learning was being wrong, taking from your mistakes instead of seething over them.

But the Killing Curse never came, because Snape was thrown back into the wall. But not before he sent Remus a wink. Even if he had been about to kill Remus, he knew that the man was on their side, for Lily, always for Lily.

Remus didn't hit the floor however; he landed in the arms of Emily. Oh dear God, could it get anymore embarrassing? She grinned down at him. 'Thought you would die so easily? Come on, get your energy back old man and let's go to the forest, the forbidden one, all the fun's happening down there!'

He really didn't know whether to laugh or to scowl, so he settled for a grimace, hopped out of her arms and started running. 'Last one there sucks Merlin's saggy balls—'

'Didn't know you were gay,' Emily said, but instead of the voice coming from behind like he thought it would, it came from in front of him, and with a growl Remus pushed his body harder, racing as fast as he could to the edge of the forest. But him and Emily froze. They could hear the petrifying growl of the last giant; wasn't the gigantic bitch dead yet?

'Fuck.' Remus whispered.

_xo_

'You have nowhere to run Pettigrew,' called Jordan, a new recruit the last time Peter had seen him. He stood bravely in front of the students, with Flitwick and Hagrid and a few other professors beside him. He stood bravely but inside he was melting and his body was trembling.

'Ha ha.' Peter said, looking behind him worriedly to make sure the students were okay. They were petrified with fear, eyes as wide as saucers.

'I can't believe you betrayed us,' said a new voice. He turned his head sharply and groaned. Bellatrix. Bellatrix Lestrange. She was both beautiful and terrifying, much like her cousin. Right now, what stood out most however was not the beauty but the madness. She looked mad. She looked crazy and deranged and she was making her way towards Peter.

He was like the kids, frozen with fear. She was so close he could see all the different shades in her pretty eyes. 'Where's my cousin.'

'I-I d-d-don't know,' he whispered breathlessly; his heart was beating so loudly, Peter was sure they could all hear it.

'Liar.' Her forehead was now touching his. Bellatrix was a little taller than Peter; she towered over him like a beast over its prey. To Bellatrix, he was her prey.

'I r-really don't—'

'Get away from him Bellatrix,' said a new and slightly bored voice. The voice of Mad-Eye Moody. His wand was out and he looked angrier than Peter had ever seen him; he was livid. Peter didn't know why Sirius was so hung up on Moody; the man was a walking bomb, waiting to explode. On second thoughts of course Sirius would look up to someone so reckless. The handsome Black was the epitome of recklessness and impulsiveness and madness.

'Oh, Moody!' Bellatrix said, laughing shortly and pushing Peter away from her, dusting her hands as though he was something filthy. 'It's lovely to see you. You haven't seen my baby cousin Sirius lately have you?'

'STUPEFY—'

'AZI MORDE—'

The battle commenced. Soon, Aurors were fighting, students were battling and teachers were combating with more vigour than Peter had thought humanly possible. Every few minutes, emerging from the cover of the trees and bushes were a new crowd, some Aurors and some Death Eaters. But it didn't even matter whose side they were on anymore. All that mattered was protecting the little students cowering behind the trees and crying.

To Peter, they were all that mattered. Because when all the Death Eaters died, and all the Aurors and Order members, who would have to run the country? Who would be left to clean up this mess? But when he saw Lord Voldemort, as chilled as a glass of lemonade, strolling through the break between the trees, Peter's confident demeanour faded.

All thoughts flew straight out of his head. Except one. _Get out of here! Get out!_

But it was too late. Voldemort's wand was now at his throat and he was whispering something Peter couldn't hear. All he _could_ hear was the sound of his heart, the noise of his blood rushing, and then after a moment of shock, all he could hear was silence. The deafening sound of silence.

_xo_

'I've always respected you, Sirius Black,' Lord Voldemort's voice echoed through even the streets of Hogsmeade, his voice was so loud it was like he was standing before them, screaming. 'I've respected the great family you come from. I've respected the intelligence and power you seem to possess. I've respected the fierceness and bravery in which you share your beliefs. But I do not respect a coward, and even more, I do not respect a hypocrite. Peter Pettigrew, once again, has gotten in the way. The Forbidden Forest, in fifteen minutes, or he dies. And I'll make sure his screams reach you, even a thousand miles away.'

Sirius turned slowly to face James. They had just been laughing at some mindless joke, something to lift their mood whilst they deliberated what to do. But now? Now he felt cold inside. Like someone had cracked an egg over his head.

'Prongs,' he said in a hoarse voice, 'what do we do?'

'What he said Padfoot. We go to the Forbidden Forest. We go and we ... we fight Voldemort, we get Peter back, we kill Voldemort, we live _happily ever after_ ... and we live the rest of our lives without the fear of him coming back.'

'Right.' Sirius whispered, nodding and swallowing. It was hard though, the lump in his throat was making it harder to breathe. 'Jamie. What do we _actually_ do?'

James clapped Sirius on the back, leading the way down the corridor and to the stairs. 'We try as hard as we can to win.'

Sirius clicked his knuckles and his neck, then tied up his hair into a miniscule ponytail. He looked really quite cute with it, especially when strands fell to cradle his face. 'You know I can't battle that good when my hair's down,' he said, smiling shyly when James flicked the two inch ponytail.

'_So you're going to fight him,' a voice said, high and female and very familiar. Sirius froze, his eyes bulging. He looked behind him and saw her, saw _them_. Amal and Aubrey. Amal's whiskers were a blinding blue, not the colour they had been before. And Aubrey's ferret tail was black, contrasting with his lighter body._

'_W-Why're you guys here?' Sirius stuttered, running a tired hand over his face._

'_To stop you.' Amal said, her voice both seductive and slightly chilly. 'We don't want you to die. Because you will die. You can't beat him, as brilliant as you think you are Sirius. We don't want you to die, as much as we hate you.'_

He could hear James calling him, shaking him, but Sirius ignored his friend. All that mattered were the ones before him, the ones trying to help him. They were trying to help him, right?

'_I ... I can't just leave him, can I? He's got Peter, he's got everyone. He'll kill everyone that matters most to me and I can't let him do that Amal, can I?'_

'_And if you die?' snapped Aubrey, slinking his way up Sirius's arm to rest wrapped around his throat. 'If you die, then your son will never get to know his father, he'll never get to _learn_ about all the brave things you've done Sirius. Isn't bravery what matters most?'_

'_My baby...' He whispered. 'I've already missed so much.'_

'_You thought this was all real Sirius, you thought that everything in this world is real. But me and Amal told you, it's a lie, it's all a lie. We're just trying to help you. Why won't you let us help you? Believe in us like we've believed in you. Don't go to Voldemort, don't get hurt.'_

'_Because if you die, then we die. And we don't want to die Sirius; we just don't want to die yet!'_

_He stroked the soft fur of Aubrey, who made a soft purring noise and moved around a little, grinning adorably up at him and winking. 'But ... but if this is all fake, if this isn't real then ... then I can't get hurt, right?'_

_Right?_

_xo_

The fighting hadn't stopped, but it was all in vain. The older students just weren't strong enough, the teachers were too few and the Aurors were tired. Lord Voldemort felt like a king, sitting and watching the battles. It was like entertainment, especially when a seventh year boy was mutilated by Bellatrix and her knife. She liked to fight using knives too.

There were five minutes left for Sirius Black to stop hiding and to come out like the brave person he claimed to be. It wasn't very brave to sit and hide whilst others were sacrificing their _lives_ for him and his cause. What was Sirius Black's "cause"? Was it equality? Was it freedom? Or was it to just spend time at home without the worry of Death Eaters bursting in?

'My Lord?' asked Dolohov, wiping blood from his face. 'My Lord, we're slaughtering them, is it really worth it? Is it really worth killing students, _children_—'

'Fight.' Voldemort said shortly. 'Fight until Sirius Black comes. When he comes, the only fight that will take place, Antonin, will be one between me and him.'

Voldemort hurriedly looked up because he could see, in the corner of his eye, red. It was the Mudblood Evans. She was looking around urgently, sending Deflection Spells to any curses or jinxes that made her way. She was screaming something, searching the fighters for her husband, the love of her life. Then her eyes met the scarlet orbs of Lord Voldemort, and Lily Evans Potter shivered. She cast a Protection Shield just as one of his spells came shooting down to her. Lily was smart.

If Lily was here too then that meant Harry was alone. He was alone somewhere, and therefore would be much easier to find. But first ... first there was someone else to find and kill.

Another spell shot towards Lily but she dodged. Regardless, thought Voldemort, it was all in vain, just like the teachers and students and good Aurors fighting against the Death Eaters. It was all really just in vain. Because Sirius Black shyly came from the cover of the trees and stood there, looking at the dead bodies on the ground. James ran out from behind him, wrapping his arms around Lily as though he was scared of losing her.

'Well...' Sirius said quietly, clapping his hands together and tucking some hair behind his ear.

_xo_

'Take him,' Rose said, pushing SJ into the arms of his grandmother. Walburga Black was in shock, sitting on the sofa, not even registering the baby sitting in her lap. Rose had _only_ disappeared upstairs for an hour. What could have possibly happened? But then she saw it. The empty vial and the crumpled note from Sirius on the small coffee table. 'Mrs Black?' she asked tentatively. 'Mrs Black, are you okay?'

'He ... he died ... he died trying to kill the Dark Lord.' The beautiful woman said quietly, staring down at the baby in her arms. 'My favourite child, my _darling_ son ... he died trying to do what Sirius is doing now. What does that mean? Does that mean Regulus was wrong too? Or does that mean I'm wrong? Does that mean the Dark Lord is wrong?'

Rose impatiently sat down and took Walburga's hand (her mother in law?). 'It means Mrs Black, that your sons believe in something, they believe so wholly and faithfully in defeating You-Know-Who that they're willing to risk their lives. Regulus, you're very beautiful and very _young_ son let himself die to bring down You-Know-Who. That's enough for me to believe that what they're fighting for is right. It _must_ be right.'

Mrs Black never cried. She didn't cry when Sirius ran away. She didn't cry when he was captured. She didn't cry when Orion died. But when Regulus was killed, she cried for days and days. If it involved her beautiful baby boy, then she could cry. Maybe her tear ducts had a password, and only opened when Regulus was hurting.

So for once, Walburga didn't mind crying in front of someone, even Rose Taten. The girl who broke her eldest son's heart. The girl who brought shame to the Blacks. The girl who was a joke amongst purebloods. Rose was shocked for a moment; she didn't know what to do. So she acted on instinct, and wrapped her arms around her son's grandmother. It was a little awkward at first, but then it was as easy as breathing. She couldn't even begin to comprehend the pain Walburga was going through. So she was quiet and silent and rubbed soothing circles into the other's woman's back.

SJ started making fussed noises again but he was ignored and soon became silence. Maybe he sensed the importance of what was transpiring right now. It couldn't be ... Sirius would bet his whole inheritance on the fact that they couldn't possibly be bonding; Rose Taten and Walburga Black, bonding.

Ha, impossible.

_xo_

Sirius was good at controlling his emotions, he always had been. But this was different. His bottom lip was trembling and his hands were shaking. But he held his head high, the yew wand clasped tightly in his right hand, pointing to the ground. He stopped maybe twenty metres in front of Lord Voldemort and stopped to survey everything around him.

They had been defeated, for the millionth time it seemed. But they were still writhing and trying to win, trying to gain the upper hand. It seemed that Voldemort didn't want any of them stealing his thunder, with a cry he bellowed a spell Sirius had never heard before, 'CORPUS ET LOCKE NOX!' Sirius could barely translate it, but it meant something "like lock the bodies not of darkness," or thereabouts.

When he realised he could still move, he looked down at his arm. It was still bleeding profusely, but the mark was wriggling on the surface, and was a pale colour. _Ah, so you had to have a Dark Mark._ Peter was too, moving. But holding him tightly was none other than Bellatrix. She smiled at Sirius.

'Hello cousin,' she called to him.

He gulped and grinned handsomely. 'Hello darling,' he drawled, raising an eyebrow arrogantly.

'Enough of the chat,' called Dolohov, 'kill him already and let's be done with it!'

Voldemort held up his hand to silence them. Slowly, he stood up off his thrown. He twirled a wand in his hands and smiled at Sirius. 'Recognise this? Alecto was kind enough to pick it up from Diagon Alley when you dropped it. Isn't that helpful? This is a powerful wand too. A drop of blood, frozen forever of course, from a thestral. Your wand represents death Sirius. How does it feel to be reunited with death at last? Something you wished for all those weeks ago.'

Sirius gulped and held up the Dark Lord's wand. 'I'll trade my wand for yours,' he joked, pressing it so close to his face he could almost kiss the tip.

'No thank you. Now, let's really begin what we've been waiting to begin for all these months. How does it feel, Sirius, to only just meet your son and lose him so quickly?'

Sirius closed his eyes and tried to rein in the anger threatening to boil and burst. He thought hard for a moment of his son, waiting patiently at Grimmauld Place for him. He didn't want to say goodbye. He didn't want to have to let go so soon. He shook his head and looked up to meet Lord Voldemort's eyes. 'I don't think I'll lose him so quickly, at least, not today.'

'See here Sirius. Do you really think you can beat me?' Voldemort drawled, stepping closer.

Fifteen metres between them.

'I could try. What have I got to lose?'

Ten metres between them.

'Everything.' The Dark Lord whispered, his scarlet eyes twinkling like rubies.

Five metres.

'God's on my side.' Sirius whispered before jumping to the left, missing the Cruciatus Curse by mere centimetres. He deflected the strong curse that tore through the air towards him and sent it off back to Lord Voldemort.

He danced to the side, gracelessly twirling the alien wand and throwing all his power into the one sharp spell he had in mind. 'REMITTERE!' he cried as loudly as he could, pushing his arms out in front of him. Almost half his hair had come lose from the ponytail, his lip was bleeding from some unknown source, and his legs ached.

But the spell worked. Lord Voldemort stumbled to the side, almost tripping, thanks to the spell which threw back the object it was cast on. It did not however, throw Lord Voldemort off course. He simply smiled and twirled the thestral-core wand. 'Interesting.' He said.

Then he whispered the Levitation Spell, and the pebbles and stones in the small Forbidden Forest clearing started to rise into the air slowly. Sirius racked his brain for something, anything that could help him. But they rose higher and higher, bundling together to form one large rock. Just as it tore through the air and sped towards Sirius, he was thrown to the side. Luckily, he narrowly missed being squashed.

He turned and saw Remus, arms still draped around his waist, and face covered in blood. He was breathing in deeply.

'Oh, how brilliant. The wolf.' Voldemort didn't sound one bit amused or pleased though, on the contrary he seemed angrier than he had been during this whole exchange. It was frightening. 'How does it feel Sirius? Being friends with an _outcast._ Well, I've got a little friend that has the same condition as Remus ... but he doesn't deny it, he _embraces _it. He's proud of who he is, aren't you Fenrir?' Voldemort called.

The werewolf snaked through the frozen witches and wizards, his walk resembling a wolf's. He stopped before his Lord and bowed. 'My Lord.' He said. Then he turned to face Sirius and Remus, grinning terribly. 'Remus.' The way he said that name brought chills to Sirius's skin, and he shivered. He said it almost as though he knew Remus well, like they were old friends.

'Greyback.' Remus breathed, getting up and barely managing to stop the vomit from working its way back up his body. There was blood all over the madman's face, and skin in his nails. He looked mad, deranged, dangerous and positively mental.

'I remember when we first met...' he said, creeping closer and closer to Remus. 'You were young, maybe four or five ... you tasted positively ... delicious.' He sneered the last word, licking his lips.

'Fuck,' Remus whispered. Then he pressed his lips close to Sirius's ear and said quietly, 'I'm going to lure him away, don't lose, please don't lose—' before tearing off in the opposite direction. Greyback growled and ran as fast as he could too, disappearing behind the tall thick trees.

Sirius looked up. The sun was blindingly bright in the comfort of grey, clustering clouds.

A spell hit him and he flew in the opposite direction. But his instincts were good, he flinched and rolled over just as another spell came crashing down. Sirius jumped up and thought hard, waving Voldemort's wand.

But a ring of the Dark Lord's fire licked at his back and he roared, shooting water all over. Then he conjured a fallen tree to try and squash Voldemort with. But the tree turned into a snake and thrashed, almost biting off Sirius's head. He sent a small spark of fire into the air and with a whispered curse, it grew rapidly, and within a second it became a raging lion, roaring.

For a second, Voldemort froze, then he smiled and shot a jet of ice to the lion. It flew into it open mouth and was still for a moment, before giving its last shriek and shrivelling in on itself. The lion was dead.

Sirius was so enrapt in the death of the lion that he didn't notice the spell shooting towards him. It threw Sirius onto his stomach, where his chin connected with the hard, almost _frozen_ ground. He bit his tongue and swore out loud, pointing his hand towards Lord Voldemort. But before he could cast a Defensive Spell, he saw something on the floor.

It must have fallen out of his breast pocket. The picture James had given him of Harry and SJ. In the glaring sunlight of a chilly winter's day, the photograph looked stunning. Harry was smiling and waving whereas SJ was still, almost like a Muggle photograph. His dazzling eyes seemed to be staring straight back at him.

Sirius smiled softly at the picture. His baby boy. He didn't realise he'd spoken out loud until Lord Voldemort started laughing. 'When he grows up, _if_ he grows up, he'll die just like you. On the floor, bowed down to me, like some sort of common Mudblood—'

'That's cheap, coming from a half-blood like _you_,' Sirius spat, snatching the photo off the ground and pressing it to his chest, to his heart. Where those two little boys belonged. Then he felt pain, the distant and yet faintly familiar spark of pain. He gave a low growl before jumping up. It was like seeing the image of his son gave him the strength he had lacked when he'd come into the duel with Voldemort.

'Liar,' the man hissed, shooting another spell towards Sirius, who carelessly batted it away from him with a smirk. 'LIAR!' Voldemort cried, and he threw all his energy into the Killing Curse shooting towards Sirius. He literally felt the hairs on his neck stand up as he moved a fraction, just a small fraction, and the spell missed him, _death_ missed him. He heard the almighty crash as it slammed into the trees behind him.

Voldemort was frozen with shock. And that was the brutal mistake he made, allowing himself a second's rest to faintly register the fact that Sirius Black had evaded his Killing Curse. No one _ever _evaded his Killing Curse.

It was enough time for Sirius to shoot one straight back. 'AVADA KEDAVRA!' he roared, forcing as much power as he possessed into that one ball of bottle green power. Everything seemed to be going in slow motion, the scream lasted for thousands of moment, the body of Lord Voldemort shrivelled up and turned into black dust, whisking into the air and forming some sort of cloud.

Sirius fell to the ground, almost crying in pain. It was a sharp stabbing sort of feeling, deep in his core. The dust didn't dissolve in the air, but thickened until it formed the body of someone. The body was laughing, it was nothing but a black shadow and didn't have a face, but it had the voice. It had the voice of Lord Voldemort.

'You thought,' said the quiet, amused voice, 'you could kill me? I can't die Sirius Black. I can't die and I _won't_ die. You think you've beaten me? You think this is it? You've conquered the almighty Dark Lord? I'll be back. Whether it's tonight or tomorrow or next month. I'll be back Sirius Black. And when I'm back, I won't just kill you. I'll kill your son, your friends, your lover and your baby godson.'

_'Go forward,' urged the voice of Amal. 'Go! Take in the spirit of the Dark Lord. If you take him in, you'll be the most powerful man on earth.'_

_For a brief moment, Sirius was tempted. But he swallowed down the temptation and closed his eyes hard, drifting away from Amal and Aubrey, and back into the real world, where he belonged._

'I always win Sirius,' whispered the voice, 'always.' With a final cackle, the dust form shattered, throwing clouds onto the now moving witches and wizards.

No, they weren't moving. They were running, they were fleeing. Fleeing from the Death Eaters, who were in a state of shock and pure outrage. One of them grasped Sirius by the hair and threw him to the ground, his hands coming up to throttle him.

He started choking and writhing, trying to throw the enormous body off of him. But for a second time that day, Remus came to save him. He threw the man off Sirius, as though he weighed no more than a sack of potatoes. It was like some sort of telekinetic information passed through the Marauders and Lily. They huddled up to form a circle, tight and safe and together, at last.

'What's happening?' breathed Peter, who had only just managed to get away from Dolohov, the scariest man on earth if you asked him.

'We're going—' Remus began, but he was interrupted by James.

'We can't just leave them!' he cried, shaking his head.

'We have to James. Sometimes, you've got to run so you can live to fight another day.' Remus breathed, and with a lurch, the Marauders were gone, Lily following after them.

* * *

><p><em>AN: I hope this chapter was up to your standards, if not then tell me what I can do to improve it, I LOVE constructive criticism! _

_On another note, I've got a new story called We're Getting Out, featuring our favourite Marauders. It's about how Sirius and James are dumped off to an asylum because they were messing around with drugs, then they meet Remus and Peter. It'll be more fun than this story, and less serious._

_Now, you all have a great day. Until the next update- over and out._

_-xo_


	40. One Month Later

_Disclaimer; I don't own anything but the plot, OCs and some spells/potions._

_A/N: This story is nearing its end. I think there probably is going to be a sequel, but it won't be as long._

_Check out _**We're Getting Out **_by the way, if you haven't already. Who knows, you might like it more than this load of waffle x_x_

* * *

><p><em>xoxo<em>

_40. One Month Later_

James wasn't a patient person. When he turned seven, his parents told him he had to wait until dinner to open his birthday presents. Well, he used the little bit of magic he could and tried to open the cupboard the presents were in. The cupboard had opened but all the presents had disappeared. His parents had shouted at him for a short while when they found out but gave him the presents anyway.

He also hated waiting for a match to begin. He despised the hour spent before a match where the commentators would talk about the players; James didn't give a fuck! He wanted to _watch_ those players, not hear about how spectacular they supposedly were. Another example of his impatience was Lily? He had asked her to marry him barely a year into their relationship because he never wanted to lose her. He was also eager to start the rest of his life with her, he didn't want to wait until they were twenty five, like her parents had suggested.

But this was the most impatient James had ever been in his life. Living here in Wales, in an underground base. It had been a month now since Sirius "defeated" the Dark Lord. He was back now. And he looked nothing like he had before, but James would save judgement until he saw Lord Voldemort himself. The Death Eaters were wreaking havoc even in the Muggle world. The Big Ben had collapsed in on itself. Muggles were being killed left, right and centre. Dementors swarmed on the Muggles too, reining down on them. Of course, the Muggles didn't notice. They just thought they were experiencing paranoia and dementia, which they were, but on a whole new scale.

The underground base was very large, about twice the size of James's old home, the Potter Manor. There were over thirty Order members and some of the Aurors who _wanted _to become Order members. There were also a few vampires and werewolves, and right now they were the ones on guard duty up on ground level. They had better senses than humans and would be able to warn everyone if there was danger a lot faster.

They needed to keep everyone safe now more than ever, because they had a dangerous mission that needed doing, which required every person they had to spare. Another meeting, this time hosted by Remus and Moody together, had ended twenty minutes ago. They were going to do it. They were going to rescue Dumbledore; they couldn't win this war without him. It was foolish to even consider carrying on without his help.

Frank Longbottom walked past James, pausing to ask him something, 'you haven't seen Neville have you? Only me and Alice can't find him.'

It wasn't only James who had gone back to get loved ones after they lost the Forbidden Forest War. He had brought Rose, SJ and Harry over to the base, with the help of Remus. Frank Longbottom had gotten his wife and his beloved son, and many other people did the same thing. Because they knew they were going to stay down here, in this base, for a long time.

'Nah, I'm sorry mate, but he might be with Peter, he loves playing with the kids—' a hollering cry interrupted James; it was the cry of SJ. James was sitting in the lounge, with about twenty other people. Moody was pouring himself over a map with Remus, Lily was chatting to Alice, Rose was sitting in the corner by herself, flicking mindlessly through a magazine and everyone else was listening hard to the WWN.

Sirius came in, with his hair wet and some shorts pulled on. He was all wet in fact, and he was frowning. SJ was wet too. They looked like twins, like gods, like beautiful gods. Sirius wasn't the same, ever since he had tried to kill Voldemort only to find out there was another horcrux, he had changed. He was heartbroken. The fight had gone out of him. He was frowning softly, scratching his stomach.

'Jamie,' he said quietly, 'want to help me bathe SJ?'

James smiled softly and nodded, getting up from the armchair he was sitting in and walking over to Sirius. SJ was four months old; it was very early March now. The leaves were growing steadily back, and the sun seemed brighter. The air was still chilly but if you had gloves and a scarf on, it was almost pleasant.

SJ was much bigger now, but a nice bigger. He looked healthier, and more beautiful. His eyes were large and sparkling, like burning stars. 'It's alright Rose,' James said, 'I can help Sirius.' He took SJ from Sirius's arms and held the boy up, kissing his forehead. 'Hello SJ, remember me?'

'I should hope so, he saw you twenty minutes ago,' Sirius replied blandly, with no humour or teasing in his voice. He was cold now. He was always cold.

'Come on Pads,' James said, patting his friend's bare back and following him out the room. As soon as they were gone, Remus let out a sigh. His eyes met Lily's and then he turned to face Rose, who was staring at the large brown door with a sour expression on her face.

'It's just because you can't bathe SJ,' Remus reassured her, 'you'll end up almost drowning him like last time.' He smiled at her but she didn't smile back, she didn't even turn to look at him. She just sat there. Rose was a little cold inside too. When her and Sirius were left in the same room, it was like winter hadn't left.

With a sigh, Remus stood up. 'Are you that upset about it Rose?'

'Why aren't I allowed to be upset? You say it the same way James does, and Evans does, almost like you guys think _wrong _of me for being upset every time Sirius hurts me. He didn't even look at me.' Rose hadn't spoken so much in days, and now she seemed ready to explode. Like all the tension and anger in her needed some way to release, some way to come out of her before it consumed her.

'You are allowed to be upset,' Remus used that voice all the others called soothing but he thought was rather condescending, 'but instead of sitting there bubbling away, you should come and _tell_ us. Look, come on...' he held out his hand and reluctantly, she took it. 'We're going to go up there and speak to them, okay? I've had enough of this, of the pair of you skirting around one another. It's time to grow up, unfortunately.'

With Rose's hand in his, he walked out the large lounge. They looked for the nearest staircase (this place was way too big, Remus thought exasperatedly) and hurried up it. When they finally managed to locate which bathroom the Marauders were in (there had to at least be half a dozen) Remus knocked on the door and entered, telling Rose quietly to wait outside.

Sirius was sitting on the floor, head between his knees. James was sitting besides him, holding SJ in one arm and his other arm wrapped around his friend's shoulders. They were whispering quietly to one another, and Remus heard the bespectacled Marauder say something like 'soon be over, I promise.'

'Sirius,' Remus said, smiling at his friend warmly, 'you need to speak to Rose. You need to do a lot of things actually. Like give _suggestions_ during the meetings, and help out more. In fact, I'll write you a list of WMWD if I was in your position.'

The handsome Black cracked his first true smile in what seemed like years, it was an expression Sirius had created during their younger Hogwarts years. He hadn't heard anyone say it in so long. 'What Would Moony Do?' he asked quietly, his voice hoarse and weak but with a little more happiness.

'I'd go into Frank's room right there and talk for a bit. And when I say _talk _Paddy, I don't mean argue, I don't mean say meaningless things, I mean talk. Whether it's about your relationship or your worries or what you're really upset about. You can't move forward mate, if you've still got baggage behind you.'

Sirius pressed a kiss to his son's tiny little nose and then stood up a little unsteadily. Remus clapped his back and then sat down behind James, smiling when the door closed.

It was a little awkward, standing here with Rose beside him. He cocked his head towards the closest room and she nodded. Together they entered the room, closing it shut behind them. Rose sat on the large double bed, whilst Sirius peeped into the crib sitting beside it. There was a beautiful picture of Alice, Frank and Neville, all beaming at the camera. He touched it with a smile and then sat down next to Rose.

There was a deafening silence, and Sirius shivered. 'What d'you want to talk about?' he asked.

'What do _you_ want to talk about?' she replied. He shrugged and then she shrugged in response. He almost laughed but managed not to. He scratched his bare chest, poking a scar on his hip that he had acquired in the duel with Lord Voldemort. He shivered again, the memory of those few minutes bearing down on him. It hurt to remember what had almost happened.

He had almost died. He had also, almost let Voldemort's spirit enter him. If he had, what would he be like now? Would he still look the same? Would he think the same? Would he _be _the same? Or would there be some sort of darkness, like a storm, lurking and waiting for his shield to slip? And if, _when_ the shield slipped, would the darkness come out? Sirius decided he didn't care. He shouldn't waste precious time thinking about what could have been when there was still so much out there that could be.

'When this is over,' he said in a hushed voice, 'you're going to come and move back in with me. I don't think I could bear to be without him for another moment.'

She nodded. 'Of course.' She said breathlessly. Her long hair flowed, like a waterfall, down her body. He watched her hair glistening in the light. 'Sirius?' Rose asked quietly. 'W-what could I do? For things to go back to normal?'

'You could ... you could cut your ridiculously long hair for starters.' He wanted to see how far she would go for him, he was testing her.

'Y-you're joking right?' Rose breathed, her eyes wide with disbelief.

He shook his head, a cold smile creeping onto his face. 'You asked me what you could do to make things normal again. I'm telling you. Cut your hair, if you cut your hair then I'll see how much you _truly _want things to go back to normal.'

Rose took out her wand and conjured a large pair of garden shears. She took a chunk of hair and was about to cut it when she gasped and started shaking her head. 'Go on Rose,' he urged, the sound of their heartbeats filling the room. Wordlessly, but with eyes already flowing with tears, she handed them to Sirius.

'I-I can't...' she breathed.

He took them without a word, and suddenly started hacking at her hair before she could even comprehend what was going on. From her thigh, he cut it to waist length. From waist length, Sirius hacked at her hair until it was shoulder length. And from her shoulders, he trimmed her golden locks until they barely brushed her chin. He did something that was supposed to be a long process in a matter of minutes, her golden locks uneven and messy.

They were both covered in her long hair, golden, thick and wavy. Sirius looked down at it, with a merciless smile. Then with a click, the scissors vanished. He smiled at Rose, but she stared down at the hair covering her body, crying quietly into her hands.

She looked different, Sirius concluded. She looked bigger, curvier, taller. Her skin also didn't look at tanned as it had before. Her eyes were larger and not as pale as they had been. Her lips were bright and scarlet.

Sirius lifted her by the chin so she was looking at him. Then he smiled tightly. 'There you go...'

'You're sick you are,' she gasped, wrenching her face from his grip.

'Now I know how serious you are about us. How long have you been growing your hair?' he was teasing her, and he was enjoying just how mad it was getting her. She was livid. The old Rose was back. Before he knew it, she slapped him. She slapped him hard, so hard his lip split open. Then she started punching him, but with a rough push, she was off him and against the headboard.

He crawled forward on the bed, until he was trapping her between the headboard and his body. He licked his lips, tasting the salty tang of blood on his tongue. 'You don't suit short hair.' He told her.

She started crying softly into her hands. 'I-I k-know...' Rose hiccupped. 'W-why would you d-do t-this to m-me?' she whispered, wiping her eyes furiously and looking up.

'I told you, I want to see how serious you really are about us sorting this out. And now I know you want it. The question is—'

'Do you want it too?' she finished for him, wiping her nose.

It was a shock to say the least, James concluded, watching Rose come into the semi-full lounge. She was missing something, he couldn't quite place it. Oh, of course. She was missing all that hair she'd had since she was eight. It was gone. Her hair now ended at her chin, framing her face in uneven layers. She looked like a totally different person.

Lily made a sound between a gasp and a giggle, but she closed her mouth when Rose fixed a teary glare at her. James jumped up before he knew it, handing Peter SJ. He went over slowly to Rose, who had golden hair all over her, and her eyes were deep red; she'd been crying.

'Rose?' he breathed, whilst everyone around them shook their heads and gasped too. 'Rose, what happened?' James asked her.

'S-Sirius...' she stuttered, wiping the snot and tears from her face. 'H-he h-hacked i-i-it all o-off—'

'I'm gonna kill 'em,' James growled, his hands balling into fists. But Remus beat him to the door, pushing him back.

'James, take a breath, you haven't even heard what Sirius has to say, I'm sure Rose is exaggerating. Did you let him? Did he ask—?'

'She gave me the scissors,' Sirius said from behind Remus. 'Hey Prongs,' he said before laughing shortly. 'D'you like Rose's new haircut?'

'Why would you do that to her?'

'Oh shut up Prongs, she can drink a potion to grow it again.' Sirius snapped, barging past Remus and falling into the sofa besides Peter. He took his son, cuddling and kissing him and whispering words, 'd'you like how mummy looks?' he asked.

'You're sick Sirius, you're fucking sick!' James snapped, before following Rose out of the room. Sirius shrugged, and carried on nuzzling his son, kissing him again and again.

'Ignore them,' he crooned, 'I'm not sick, I'm just disciplining your Mother, she's been very bad you see...' Sirius threw his head back and laughed again.

But then he was interrupted with James screaming, begging them to come. Remus was the first one out of the lounge, running to the entrance of the underground base. The vampires and werewolves who had been on patrol were dragging in new people now, people that Remus had never seen before. The strangers were bleeding, moaning, crying with grief.

'W-what happ—' James breathed, practically lifting one of the girls off the floor; she was limping badly.

'Giants,' she gasped, falling back into his arms. 'They attacked us, four of them, enormous and strong ... they killed some of us but the rest got away.'

One of the boys, with pale white skin, was cradling a toddler, whispering soothing words. Another werewolf, light brown skin and burning black eyes, was carrying her friend. Her dead friend. Remus hurried forward to help the pretty girl, and lifted her friend gently in his arms. Wordlessly, he led her to the closest room. It was a bedroom, but right now he didn't care whose. He put the body down gently, wiping the sweat from his forehead and appraising the dead body.

It was the body of a young boy, maybe a teenager? He was dead, his neck twisted at an awkward angle. He looked peaceful. Remus dropped his fingers down on the young boy's eyes and shut them. Then he turned to face the pretty werewolf. She had light brown skin and black eyes. Her hair was long, black and bushy, and her cheeks were flushed. She was trying her hardest not to cry.

Deciding it was best to leave her alone with her friend, he left the room, but not before he heard a whispered, 'thank you.'

It was a mess. There was blood everywhere, in the corridors and in the dining room, where Lily was proceeding to aid and heal anyone who needed it, with the help of Frank and Moody. There was crying, it was from the baby who had been carried in by that boy. The baby had very light brown skin, almost like she'd just been on holiday to Spain for a while.

He pulled out his wand, siphoning blood from the floor. He found a finger and gagged, vanishing it until it needed to be conjured. Then he went back into the dining area. Remus was just shocked. How could this have all happened? Ten minutes ago, they were all marvelling at what Sirius had done to Rose's hair. And now? They had a bunch of werewolves with them, injured, dead and tired.

There was one child, a toddler, maybe two or three. She was still crying, the baby girl. Someone different was holding her, cradling the baby girl and crooning words. The werewolves were very diverse, in age and gender and race. That's what happened when a group of people were excluded, they banded together to form a group of individuals that they usually wouldn't be with. It was beautiful, in a weird and peculiar way.

The dead bodies were being put in bedrooms, somewhere nice for the bodies to rest. It would be disrespectful to deposit them outside. Besides, they had to decide what they would do with them.

'What's your name?' Remus asked the man closest to him. The man was maybe in his forties or fifties. He seemed to be the leader of this group.

'I'm Thornton.'

'Thornton ... what happened? There were giants?'

'Four of them. They attacked our base, without even warning us or ... or telling us what they wanted. We escaped, most of us at least.'

Remus's face contorted in anger. He spent a moment breathing in an out. 'They didn't say what they wanted? They just attacked you? On Lord Voldemort's orders, am I correct?'

'You are.' Thornton said. 'This is _my _pack, and he hurt and killed my family.' His body was trembling with anger and hatred, and he bit his lip to stop from exploding. 'I'm going to make sure we kill _every single one _of those giants. Till not one from that herd of them remains alive.'

There were cheers amongst the werewolves, who were being given new clothes and food. Lily was such a Mother, Remus thought fondly. He watched her feed a young girl, maybe ten or eleven. Then she hurried to scoop up some rice in a bowl for Sirius, before touching his cheek affectionately and returning to feed the girl again. This was Remus's family too. He needed to protect them.

'Well then Thornton, does that make you on our side?' he enquired thoughtfully.

Thornton nodded, his grey black hair bristling with the movement. 'How else can I get my revenge on the giants?'

'I'm a werewolf too you know.' He said quietly to the old man.

'I know, I can smell it on you and see it in your eyes. It's a full moon in two weeks.'

Remus looked up and he met Emily's eyes. She smiled and looked away, continuing to help one of the werewolves. The pretty werewolf from before walked into the room and patiently started washing her hands in one of the bowls of water Lily had conjured. She washed her hands until every drop of blood was off. And then she called for someone, 'Shia,' she called softly, looking around.

Huffing, she managed to squeeze through the groups of people until she was standing before the little crying girl. The toddler stopped crying when she saw her Mother.

'Shia,' the woman breathed, lifting her baby and cradling her, pressing kisses to her cheek and her forehead. Remus felt his jaw drop and he stared in shock. Maybe ... maybe she'd had the baby _before _she became a werewolf? Yeah, that would make sense. It was impossible for her to have a baby if she was a werewolf ... right?

'Who is that? With the baby?' he asked Thornton, who was washing the blood off his hands and face.

'Medina. Her baby is Shia. I've known Medina almost her whole life. Her Mother and Father, when she was bitten at the age of three, dropped her off to me and my pack. She's been with us for twenty years.'

_She had a baby _whilst_ she was a werewolf. Was it possible? Was the baby a werewolf too? Or was she normal, was she human?_

'The baby isn't a werewolf,' Thornton said with a knowing look in his eyes. Then he left Remus standing alone in the corner of the room, shaking his head and looking up to meet Medina's eyes. She nodded at him and then looked back to her beautiful daughter.

He could have a baby ... that changed things ... that changed things terribly.

Sirius watched from the corner of his eye, the way Remus was watching the werewolf and her daughter. It was almost like he was jealous. But Remus could have a baby now! Wasn't that a good thing? He turned to look at Rose through the corner of his eye. She really didn't look that bad with short hair. It was a big difference, yeah but it wasn't like Sirius had made her _bald_ or something.

He licked his lips, the tip of his tongue running over the cut on his lower lip. She had slapped him really hard. He had forgotten how much of a slap she could give. But at least the old Rose was coming back; at least the _real _Rose had finally emerged, like Sirius knew she would.

He sighed and looked away back to scrutinise the werewolves. There must have been a dozen here in the dining room. Another ten or so lay dead in the bedrooms. A fairly big pack. And all of them were willing to fight. Add the other half a dozen werewolves with them now as well as the five vampires and they had an unbeatable force of magical creatures.

Sirius felt the chances of winning increasing. But then he had a flashback, vivid and real, of back in the Forbidden Forest. With Voldemort and Death, so close. They had been coming for Sirius. With his son in his arms, he closed his eyes and thought hard of how happy he was, how relieved he was to be here with his family, with his friends, with his _son._

'Alright, alright!' barked Moody, clapping his hands and trying to regain everyone's attention. He nodded, satisfied with himself. 'This is unexpected, it's grave and it's sad what the giants have done to your pack. And we don't ask for anything from you. We ask you to stay and eat and grieve, and we don't expect any payment—'

'But you will get it.' Remus interrupted shortly. He ran a hand through his hair. 'Werewolves are proud creatures Moody, I should know. They won't back down without a fight, without some form of revenge. Whether we fight Voldemort today, or next year, they'll want to do it.'

'Is this true then, Thornton did you say? Will you fight with us?'

Thornton looked at Remus, who nodded softly. 'To a werewolf, a pack isn't a pack, a pack is a family. Voldemort has sent giants to kill my family. Of _course _I'm going to fight against him and with you. How else can I avenge my family?'

'It's settled then. Our plan is simple, we want to get Albus Dumbledore. And we need to devise a plan soon, if we're to do this by the next full moon, which is in ... when is it Remus?'

'It's in—'

'Fifteen days. We have fifteen days to create a plan.' It was Medina who spoke, that pretty girl who drew Remus in with her large black eyes. He looked at her lips suddenly, drawn in by the dark pink colour and the soft, roundness it had.

'That's more than enough time,' Sirius snapped from the other end of the dining room, sitting alone on one end of the table. His son was on his lap, making fussed noises. 'Moody, you're forgetting that time last year when we raided the Jackson home with a plan we'd made just that morning. We can do this. But I need to act as ... I need to act as bait if it's to work. We need Snape too.'

Moody raised an eyebrow, shaking his head. 'You want to risk being imprisoned again? Or even killed? Voldemort isn't happy with you Sirius, you tried to _kill _him. You would've done. Going back there with the intent to play _bait_ is not a smart move Black.' He growled the last sentence.

'You think I honestly care about whether I live or die? As long as _he dies with me_ and my son is safe, I couldn't honestly care. Isn't that right?' he whispered into SJ's ear, kissing his head.

Peter shook his head, emerging from where he saw helping one of the werewolves. 'I've got money hanging over my head too. Shouldn't I play bait instead of Sirius? It'll be more realistic ... they've used me twice now as a hostage, I'm not as good at fighting my way out of things like him...'

'Yes, yes,' Lily said, nodding and taking James's hand. 'If Peter does it, it's more realistic and believable. He only has half a million galleons hanging on his head, as opposed to the _three _million you have on your head, Sirius.'

'So we ... so we use Peter?' Moody grunted, turning to face the boy. He was still uneasy around Peter, and he didn't trust him at all. But he needed to.

'Yes.' James concluded. 'With Sirius and Rem's help, we can plot a route to get to the Malfoy Manor, get Dumbledore and get out.'

'Dumbledore's room was a floor down from my prison cell. To the left of the first corridor. I should go, only I know where it is.' Sirius said.

'I'm coming with you,' Remus scowled exasperatedly, 'I'm not letting you get hurt this time, got it Pads?'

'So we've got a vague plan. Let's talk more about it tomorrow. You need to all eat and rest—'

'I've got dinner cooking Moody,' Alice interjected, hurrying out of the dining room and back to the kitchen to check on dinner. The waft of chicken soup assaulted Sirius's nostrils, making his stomach growl loudly. His eyes met James's and a secret message passed between them; things were okay now, they weren't going to fight anymore.

SJ started wailing, at first Sirius thought he could control his son, but then the wails grew so loud his exact words were 'shut the fuck up!'

James hurried over, scooping SJ out of Sirius's hands and lifting the boy into the air. But he carried on crying. 'Oh, he stinks, he needs his nappy changing ... d'you want me to do it Padfoot?'

'Yes please,' Sirius huffed, collapsing back into the wooden dining chair and squeezing his eyes shut. He didn't even know _how _Moody had come up with this place, but it was an old Auror training camp up in the north of Wales. It was very convenient, but he suddenly thought that maybe it wasn't big enough.

Remus sat down in the chair beside him and ruffled his hair. 'Don't worry Sirius, everything will go perfectly...'

Lily sat down on the other side of Sirius, taking his hand. 'It'll all go perfectly. We'll get Dumbledore and we'll finally be able to _beat _Voldemort. After so long...' Then she kissed his cheek and turned to Remus. 'D'you see that?' she asked, cocking her head to Medina and Shia.

Remus reddened a little. 'Yes.' His voice was almost inaudible.

'She's got a baby _girl_ Remus, and I asked her, she became a werewolf almost _twenty years ago!_ What's stopping you, why don't you find someone after this war, someone you _truly_ love and start a family? Lily reached over, entwining her fingers with his.

'Because as amazing as you guys are, not everyone is like you. It's hard enough to find people who _accept _werewolves, let alone someone willing to _marry _one. It's a childish fantasy...'

Lily made a noise between a growl and a sigh. Then she dropped his hand. 'I'm going to prove you wrong Remus. You're clever and funny and handsome and ... and anyone would be lucky to have you. I think if I hadn't fallen in love with James, then I might have wanted to start a relationship with you, in all honesty. But unfortunately, James snagged me and now I'm paying the price.'

They turned to watch him and Peter play fighting and trying to cheer up the werewolves. It was cute. They were friends again, real friends.

'They call that play fighting,' Sirius scoffed, jumping up and dashing off. He charged, full force, towards the two Marauders. He leapt onto Peter's back, helping James take him down.

Lily's stomach growled and she smiled, looking up at the door where the aroma was wafting through. 'I feel like I haven't had anything to eat in months. And I'm tired all the time, you know. It's this war ... it's taken everything out of me.'

'Same here. Only, even though it's taking everything out of me, I'm not satisfied with what I'm doing. It doesn't feel like I'm doing enough. I mean look at them, they've lost family members and friends because of Voldemort. I almost feel as though if I had helped ... if I had done something...'

'You couldn't have done anything,' Lily reassured him, touching his hand. 'That's why we're going to go and get Dumbledore. Only with Dumbledore can we defeat Lord Voldemort.' She said sadly, shaking her head.

'I'm not sure,' Remus told her, 'I think Sirius is doing a pretty good job at trying.' They turned to face him for a long moment, watching him laugh ecstatically, tears of mirth in his large grey eyes. He was grinning at James, diving onto his friend and bringing him down with a large, resonating bang.

'Shit,' Peter shouted, stepping away from them with a weary expression on his pale face. 'I didn't do anything.' He said, stepping back with his hands held up. Sirius jumped aside first, and then James. And where they had just been sprawled moments before, was a cane. Moody's cane. Moody's _broken _cane.

'I didn't do it—' Sirius called before dashing out of the room. He was shortly followed by James, and their shouts of laughter could be heard even in the dining room, despite the fact that they were now safely two floors under.

She smiled softly, turning to see Rose. The girl was silent, sitting on one of the chairs with her son in her arms. Her other hand was combing through the short, uneven locks of hair. She looked like a totally different person.

Lily paused for a moment, wondering whether or not she should offer to fix Rose's hair. Despite her dislike for the girl, good took over and she beckoned Rose over, her wand out. 'Come on Taten, I'll fix that horrid thing on your head ... urgh, what is that?' she squealed, moving away from Rose.

'A bald patch.' Rose whispered.

It was Remus who laughed first, despite what anyone else would say. Lily could swear he laughed his infectious laugh first. And all through the mission to fix Rose's hair, she laughed softly, biting her lip.

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><p><em>AN: My PM system isn't working, so I'll try to find a way to answer all your questions and thank you for the support! If you really want a reply, PM me your email address and I can answer it. Don't worry, I'm not a pervert ;P_


	41. Mortem

_Disclaimer; I don't own anything but the plot, OCs and some spells._

_A/N: I think I'll have one more chapter of this story, and then maybe an epilogue or a prologue of the sequel. Thank you all for making my dream come true; I've never completed a story before in my life, and thanks to all of you I'm going to have written my first full story. I don't know about y'all, but to me that's an enormous accomplishment. _

_Enjoy this chapter and have a wonderful day!_

_-xo_

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><p><em>xoxo<em>

_I gave a share of my soul to the world, when and where my course is run.__  
><em>_I know that another shall finish the task I surely must leave undone.__  
><em>_I know that no flower,__  
><em>_nor flint was in vain on the path I trod.__  
><em>_~ Amelia Burr_

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><p><em>xoxo<em>

_41. Mortem_

Lucius Malfoy signalled for his wife to come forward, and like a well trained dog, Narcissa Black hurried toward him. Her face was urgent and loving, and Lucius, like all the times before, fell in love with her once again; looking deep into those passionate, gorgeous eyes.

'Yes?' she whispered breathlessly before looking around the enormous room they were in with a hint of paranoia. They were in the dining room of the Malfoy Manor. At least two dozen Death Eaters were here, and the Dark Lord was due to arrive soon. To say he looked different was a ... understatement. He looked like a totally different person, _thing _even because right now, he looked closer to a creature than a human. If not for his voice, which remained the same, Lucius wouldn't have believed it was really the Dark Lord.

His skin before had been a ghostly pale, white like snow. Now it was greyish, with even a slight tinge of green. His eyes were dark scarlet, and his nose was like a snake's. He had no hair now. The Dark Lord looked like a serpent, and Lucius had never been more terrified in his life.

The respect for the Dark Lord had increased dramatically, and more and more "converts" were vowing their loyalty to the Dark Lord. But they were just puppets; people who, in battles, would be at the front, taking the brunt of the attack. They were expendable and easily replaceable. It was almost sad. Almost.

'What's the time?' he asked his wife a little tiredly.

'It's quarter past six darling. Why? Are you thirsty? Do you want me to get you a drink?' Narcissa's voice, now loving and sweet and full of care, contrasted with how it had been when she had spoken to Sirius all those months ago.

He nodded softly. 'Yes please.'

She smiled at him, it was a forced smile. Narcissa was just as nervous as Lucius. The Dark Lord would be coming, and most of the people here in the Malfoy Manor had not seen his new body yet. They were scared; they had heard rumours, most people had. But only a few had had the pleasure of seeing the Dark Lord. Yes, the _pleasure..._

Bellatrix's stormy and mad grey eyes met Lucius's, and they regarded one another with a certain coldness. They didn't like each other very much. She smirked, once again, when her eyes flickered over the wheelchair; she always did that, laughing at his wheelchair. Well, the first thing Lucius would do when he got out of this chair (because he just had to get out, he just had to) would be to curse Bellatrix so hard she would _never walk again_ herself, that would teach the bitch a lesson.

The room suddenly became silent; the only sound was the hard slap of Narcissa's heels against the brown oak floor. She came in, a glass of water in one hand, and her wand loosely held in the other. Noiselessly, she handed the glass to Lucius. He took it, turning back to face everyone.

'My Lord,' Bella was the first to cry, falling down to her knees and bowing so low her forehead brushed the ground. Everyone followed in pursuit, save Lucius, who could not. The sounds of large, tempestuous roars filled the room; it was the giants. There had to be around three or four of them outside. Their footsteps shook the ground and their roars rattled the windows. They were gigantic creatures indeed.

'Sit down,' the high and serpentine voice of Lord Voldemort ordered from the doorway where he had just appeared. The chairs scraped hard against the wooden floor as the Death Eaters hurried to sit down. Severus Snape wordlessly took his place on Voldemort's right, and Bellatrix sat herself down stoically on the Dark Lord's left.

Narcissa helped Lucius seat himself besides Bellatrix, still within touching distance of the Dark Lord. Then she seated herself on his other side. After a minute of waiting for everyone to settle down, Lord Voldemort raised his hand, commanding silence. He got it. Oh, but of course he would get it. He was the Darkest Lord, darker than any that had ever walked this earth.

'Yes.' He said softly, those rubies in his face glistening like stars. 'Yes, I have returned. And yes, I look much different from how I looked before.'

'You still look mighty and powerful and great my Lord,' Bellatrix declared, bowing her head low. It sickened Lucius, to see how blind and mad she was; Bella loved the Dark Lord. Obsessed in fact. Yes, obsessed was a better word to use. She was obsessed. Love implied that you knew the person, knew who they truly were inside and outside. Bellatrix had barely skimmed even the _tip _of the iceberg when it came to Lord Voldemort. There was so much she had yet to learn of the Dark Lord. And so much he had yet to reveal.

The Dark Lord resisted the urge to roll his eyes, and so he just smiled, albeit a little tightly. 'Thank you Bellatrix. I agree; power and beauty do not go hand in hand. Not at all. Of all the greatest figures in the history of our world, none have been beautiful.' Everyone murmured in agreement. The Dark Lord could speak a load of doxy dung and everyone would nod and agree.

'It's fascinating my Lord,' one of the Death Eaters whispered. 'You're alive and well. Sirius Black's Killing Curse went right through you—'

'Ah, yes. But you see, Sirius Black doesn't know everything. In fact, he doesn't know half as much as he seems to think he does. It was that arrogance that allowed me to come back. And it is that exact arrogance which will be his downfall. I'm sure you've guessed what I'm going to say.'

Severus Snape was perhaps the smartest out of everyone seated round the table. He was smart, and it would be his own downfall. Unless he played the cards well. But only if he played well. 'Is it, my Lord, to tell us that the Potters are not the priority? Is it to tell us that you want Sirius Black, for now?'

Lord Voldemort smiled softly, nodding his head once. 'Yes, Severus ... always the smartest. Yes. I want Black more than I want James and Lily Potter. With Black, comes Harry Potter. With Harry Potter's death comes the destruction of any possible threats towards me and my cause, _our _cause – ridding the world of filthy Mudbloods and Muggles.'

Bellatrix laughed shortly. 'As if a small baby could be a threat towards the Great Dark Lord.' She laughed again but was silenced by one look from her Lord.

'You would be surprised, dear Bella, to know just how _much _of a threat Harry Potter could be. Severus here retold me the prophecy. Yes, the prophecy was from a fraud, a well known fraud, but I have it on his life that it seemed genuine. And from the way Dumbledore hid her, he seems to think the prophecy is real too.' The way Voldemort spoke left no room for argument. 'Regardless of whether the prophecy is likely to come true or not, I wouldn't like to wait for it to be proved.'

She nodded softly and ducked her head, shamefacedly. Sharply, the Dark Lord looked away from Bellatrix and stared at Lucius. It was a bone rattling stare, the sort that melted into Lucius's bones and set him on edge. The sort of look that swept him off his feet. The sort of look that petrified him deep to his core; his soul. He swallowed.

'I want Sirius Black. And I want him now. We have twenty giants at our disposal; we have nine of Fenrir's werewolves and no vampires currently allied with us now. _That is not enough!_ We need more than that. Is there anyone who would like to propose what we could do—?'

Voldemort was interrupted by a loud, shattering bellow; a giant's bellow. It shook everyone's very bones. Bamboozled, the Dark Lord stood up just as the door was thrown open by Dolohov. He was mumbling excitedly, his hair tousled and his lips dry.

'— Pettigrew, brought in by five wizards! They're demanding money from Malfoy for Pettigrew alive! They've got him, _they've got him!_ We've got him my Lord!'

The roars from the giants faded whilst everyone waited for Lord Voldemort's reaction. Would he be annoyed? Would he be happy? Thrilled? Furious? He was like a bomb; unpredictable, wild and untameable. He was the epitome of frightening. And they all envied him for it.

'Brilliant,' he breathed softly, pulling out Sirius Black's thestral wand. 'Well, what are you all waiting for? Let's go!' He was at the front of the marching band. They all followed, cowering behind him but fighting to be the first in the line.

When they came outside, in the large piece of space between the enormous and majestic gates and the front of the house, were the five wizards. Between them, kneeled on the floor, with a bloody face and tied hands, was Peter Pettigrew. He had lost a lot of weight, his hair was limp and mousy and his beautiful eyes were too large in his now skinny face. He looked like a totally different person. Except the expression of his face. It was one Voldemort had seen a hundred times; frightened, terrified and panicky.

'Peter,' he breathed, stepping forward in the chilly March air. Little did Voldemort know but right now, hidden behind the enormous clouds, was a full moon. He might have noticed had the werewolves been here. But they weren't. Actually, simply because they weren't there at the manor should have been enough of a clue for Lord Voldemort to guess what day it was today.

It was a very cloudy evening, and had been uncharacteristically cold for a late March day. He stepped forward, all the Death Eaters behind him whispering furiously under their breaths. Voldemort stepped closer and closer to Peter until there was less than a foot between them. He looked down at Peter, an overwhelming sense of power and almightiness crashing down over him. He smiled tightly.

'Peter,' he breathed once again. 'How lovely it is to see you. Where are your friends, I'd love to say hello to them.' The Death Eaters behind the Dark Lord cackled and chuckled hard, wiping tears of mirth from their eyes. 'Excuse me Peter? I didn't hear you?'

Voldemort stepped closer, putting a hand behind his ear under the pretence that he couldn't hear Peter. He stepped on the young man's fingers hard, revelling in the cracks he heard. Peter cried out. The Dark Lord smiled tightly. 'Sorry Peter ... that was an accident. Here, let me mend your hand – _Crucio!_' Voldemort cried. His voice however was interrupted by Peter's shriek, which echoed through the grounds of the Malfoy Manor.

The shriek was so loud and so painful to listen to, the Order members and the Aurors hiding not far from the scene winced and grasped at their chests. The scream suddenly stopped, being replaced by breathless pants and choked sobs.

'Where are your friends, Peter? Have they left you? Were they sick and tired of fighting to protect and save you after all you have done to them?' he hissed a curse which extracted from Peter a sharp scream. Peter roughly wiped his face, looking up at the Dark Lord with wide eyes. 'After you fed information to us for over a year? After you lied to them countless times? After you told us where _Regulus _was?'

'I-I d-d-didn't,' Peter gasped raggedly, grabbing at his chest in pain. 'Y-you're l-l-lying!'

A lie. Of course it was a lie. And had Sirius not seen the memories Dumbledore had left him, he might have believed what Voldemort said. But he didn't. Because he knew the truth. But what Voldemort's little taunt told Sirius was that the Dark Lord knew he was here. Why else would he mention Regulus if it wasn't to lure Sirius out from wherever he was hiding.

'Come out, come out Sirius.' Voldemort called after a minute of waiting, his face lighting up. 'You think I'm silly enough to fall for it a second time? You must think I am a fool, Sirius,' the way he said Sirius's name was a hiss and a whisper and a sneer all at once; it was terribly frightening. 'Come out Sirius, where has your bravery gone?'

After a moment's hesitation, Sirius pulled himself out of James's tight, choking grasp and stumbled out from behind the tall dark trees. Behind him were over a dozen werewolves, in their wolf forms. They were immobile; one could even mistake the lupine man-wolves for being asleep. The Order members and the Aurors were scowling and shaking their heads angrily.

But he ignored them. Sirius fell forward on his knees and looked up, an expression of both fright and self-righteousness flickering over his handsome face. Then he gasped. Voldemort looked nothing like he had before, and yet he looked every bit of what Sirius had imagined he would now look. Right down to the same scarlet eyes and serpentine nose.

He stood up, ignoring the figure of James falling from behind him. He stood up, holding the yew wand tight in his right hand. 'I have bravery,' Sirius gasped, 'I'm a Gryffindor after all.'

It was the werewolves who jumped out first, and then the vampires. They leapt onto the giants in their wolf forms. The thought flickered through Sirius's mind as he watched the great creatures fight furiously against the giants, that this was a terrible yet brilliant idea. They fought brilliantly. But so did the giants.

And they weren't cultured at all; they were rabid and mortifying and feral. Sirius shivered, but then he felt heat. Thank god for James and his brilliant chaser reflexes, he pushed Sirius hard in the opposite direction. Deflecting and dodging as much of the Dark Lord's spells as he could, it was now Padfoot's time to protect James. He pushed his friend away and replaced him, his steel grey eyes connecting with those piercing red ones. If anyone was going to fight Lord Voldemort, it would be him.

Peter fought valiantly with his unbroken hand, his left hand. But like the others, Peter's gaze every so often would shift to the giants and the werewolves. He could recognise Moony; with his golden glistening fur and his enormous frame; Remus was tall as a human and large as a wolf. He fought ferociously, with claws and snarls and teeth. The werewolves had been on lockdown; a brilliant spell cast by Moody to keep them immobile until the time was right. The time was right.

The clouds had faded away to reveal the startlingly silver moon. It was large and lit up the skies like a lamp. James's attention was stolen for a moment by the sheer beauty of the sky. Dolohov snuck in a strong blasting jolt and James was thrown back. His eyes were clouded with stars and he let out a soft cry. There was feral growl and Moony detached himself from the giants.

It was a ridiculous, and only because of sheer desperation had the date been moved onto the full moon and not the day before or after. This was because they just _had _to get Dumbledore; it was worth them getting contaminated and turned into werewolves. After all, Remus was a werewolf and he wasn't what they thought a werewolf would be like; he was brave and kind and sweet. Perhaps it wouldn't be so bad. It was because of this discussion and decision that Lily had invented a spell; she had put invisible markers only seen by a wolf's careful eye on all of the people on their side. The werewolves would know not to attack the ones with the markers.

'No!' Moody had barked for the millionth time when the idea was suggested to him once again, 'are you mad? We'll be just as likely to get hurt as Voldemort's side! It'll make no sense—'

'What if,' Lily had interrupted, 'I could make a spell? A spell to ensure that the werewolves didn't attack us?'

So far, her little spell seemed to be working. No one on their side had been hurt ... yet.

Moony galloped forward, his paws drenched in blood and his enormous glistening teeth bared. He made his way towards Dolohov, dodging the spells. Then he leapt on the man and ravished him with teeth and claws and venom. Antonin's shattering scream echoed for hundreds of seconds through the Malfoy Manor. Everyone looked up.

In the morning, if Remus ever made it, he would hate himself. And a small part of Remus in the back of the wolf's mind started screaming and shouting. But it wasn't working. James was part of Moony's pack. The werewolf would die to protect his friend.

Lily could have punched the air, she didn't but she could have. Right now though, she had bigger fish to stew. She managed to snake a spell past Bellatrix Lestrange's shield. But Bellatrix managed to snake one past hers too. Lily grunted with exhaustion and pain; this was going to be harder than she thought.

'MORTEM!' she cried, but the spell was deflected with a cackling laugh. With a hiss, she danced out of the way. Bella's Killing Curse barely missed Lily. Yes, she was right. This was going to be _much _harder than she thought.

_xo_

'Where is he?' barked Moody.

'Over there Moody,' Frank gasped, pointing at the vicious battle commencing between Voldemort and Sirius. It was all electricity and power and strength. It was frightening. Sirius was losing, he knew it but he carried on anyway.

'Damn fucker!' Moody growled, then he pointed his wand at the back door and it was blasted open. 'We're just going to have to get Dumbledore without Sirius—'

'Really?' asked Murphy and Daniels at the same time. Two horrid and evil followers of the Dark Lord; they didn't have a brain of their own. It was comical. They did whatever they were told, without question or doubt. Almost like they were children. They stood a metre before them, wands poised and identical grins on their faces.

Frank impatiently sent a spell towards them, and it hit Daniels square in the chest. But Murphy had faster reflexes. He sent the spell zooming towards him back at Frank, who flew in the wall hard. With a growl, Moody threw as much power as he could into one enormous jinx. It threw Murphy into the same wall, where he fell and lay motionless, almost like he was dead.

He might have been. Moody didn't care. It took several Enervation Spells to revive Frank, but he awoke, albeit a little bamboozled and confused. 'We're gonna have to use the directions Black left us, the stupid _bastard,_ this house is enormous—'

'Well, Sirius was in the attic. He said a floor down, left to the staircase. I'm sure we'll find it. It's getting through that I'm worried about.'

_xo_

Severus fought furiously with a witch whose name he did not know. He made sure not to kill her, but to maim her terribly. She was strong and stubborn though, and was putting up more of a fight than he had anticipated.

Suddenly, he was thrown back. Severus staggered and slipped on blood, but managed to catch himself. He growled and sent a strong jinx toward the woman. It hit her hard on the thigh and she fell, wrapping her hands around the deep cut. Her moans and cries grew tiresome and Severus sent a Stunning Spell straight to her heart. She fell noiselessly.

For the millionth time his eyes drifted towards Lily, who put up a brilliant fight against Bellatrix, despite the fact that she was most probably going to lose. In turn, Lily kept looking up at James. James was engaged in a terrible battle with the notorious Rodolphus Lestrange. Well, wouldn't you look at that? The Potters versus the Lestranges. It was a little comic, if not coincidental.

James and Lily's eyes kept meeting in a passionate, loving and consuming gaze and it tingled Severus down to his soul. The witch Severus had just defeated was replaced by a wizard this time; Severus recognised him as one of the greatest Aurors there was. He wouldn't kill the man, just like the other witch, he would maim instead. Perhaps the Dark Lord would see honour and chivalry in the gesture if he found himself a whole bunch of prisoners rather than a whole bunch of corpses.

James grunted, distracting Lily. It was that distraction that helped Bellatrix worm a Cruciatus Curse past Lily's faltering shield, and strike her hard. Lily fell to the floor, taking no time at all to open her delectable mouth as wide as she could and scream. It struck the attention of Moony the Werewolf and of course, the other Marauders. To them, Lily was their sister. If she was hurting, _they were hurting!_

It was Moony who ran forwards first, he didn't bite but he roared and snarled, waving his enormous paws about. The Lestranges froze. James fell down to his knees, sweeping Lily to his chest and kissing her hard on her lips and her cheek and her jaw. Who would have figured! Their first proper kiss in days was out on a battlefield, where they could be killed at any moment! It was a little romantic if anything.

Sirius felt like he was dying. His energy was fading and his spells were sloppy, barely even affecting Voldemort now, who rarely even stumbled in response to one of his spells. Sirius however fell right back again and again. He rolled over and jumped up, snarling at Voldemort like a rabid dog. Right now, he seemed more like a rabid dog than he ever had in his entire life.

'Are you already tired Sirius?' the Dark Lord taunted, spinning his wand expertly and sending jets of burning sparks towards the younger, handsome boy, who cried when he was hit with them. 'I thought you were _invincible?_' another spell connected with Sirius, though this time, he couldn't find the energy to get up.

He needed to collect all of it and throw it into one jet of power, just one to end this all for good. But if there was another horcrux? Well, he already knew the answer to that question! He would just have to ... he would have to take his chances and hope that _this time_ it would work, he would defeat, once and for all, the Dark Lord.

_xo_

'It's like a maze in here!' cried Frank, clasping his hand on his cheek and shaking his head tiredly. 'We're running out of time Alastor!' he roared as they hurried down another corridor.

'Nah we aint,' Moody seemed ecstatic now. 'I promise you, this is the room. It has to be! It's the last "left" corridor there is leading from the attic. Stupid bastard didn't even say _what _left corridor Albus is in—'

Frank, running out of energy and patience, did not have the time to hear Moody bang on about Sirius again. He threw open the door and whispered a hasty "Lumos" to see inside. It was a large room, with a royal bed to one side and the window half open on the other. The wardrobe door was ajar, showing an arrangement of robes inside.

Sitting in a chair beside the window, with his long white bear and his indigo robes, was none other than the infamous, honourable and great Albus Dumbledore. It seemed like he had aged a great deal these past few months. He seemed tired, bored and yet strangely at peace with himself. There was a book open on his lap. He didn't even look up when the door shut quietly. It was only when Moody softly called him that he flinched, almost reluctantly meeting the eyes of his old friend.

Albus started, straightening up and leaning forward. 'Alastor?' he asked hoarsely, before breaking into a wide smile. 'Alastor!' Albus hurried forward and embraced his old friend roughly, clapping him on the back and barking a laugh.

'It's about time,' he said, smiling and shaking Frank's hand. 'What ... what are you both doing here?'

It was the silence that astonished Frank and Moody. They could hear _nothing._ Not the bellowing roars of the giants that they had heard moments ago, nor the cries of the fighters. They could hear absolutely nothing. Moody barged Frank out of the way and limped towards the window. He knew he was supposed to be seeing some of the giants and the werewolves, ravishing each other and ripping one another to shreds. But he couldn't. He just saw the large beaming moon and the trees.

Voldemort had really and truly placed Albus in a prison. It was almost as though he believed if Albus got even a hint of a rescue mission, he would become uncontrollable. Which meant Voldemort was scared of Albus. In fact, scared was an understatement. He was _terrified._

'You can't hear or see, can you? You can't see what's happening right outside your window?'

Albus caught on quickly, shaking his head. 'Impossible,' he breathed, turning to look at the window. 'What's happening then? Are there _more _of you?'

'You don't know, do you?' Frank whispered, his voice taking on a sympathetic tone. 'You don't know anything that's happened with Sirius and with ... with Voldemort?'

'They don't tell me anything.' Albus replied, just as quietly. 'Well then, are you going to explain or...'

Moody worriedly looked towards the window. Did he have time? Of course he did. They outnumbered the Death Eaters five to two. They would _slaughter_ the Death Eaters. His cane hit the floor with a THUMP, and he leaned heavily on it. He was already so tired.

'After Sirius was rescued, he was kept with the Potters, I don't know where but they took care of him. Then, foolishly, they let him go to your office in Hogwarts—'

'Aah,' Albus said in an aged and hoarse voice. 'Yes, I told Sirius in a letter to go there ... with information that concerns neither of you. But it's good news ... he went, and then what happened?'

'A huge battle happened, that's what! You asked him to _go?_ Dozens of children were killed Albus, dozens of them! Teachers were _slaughtered,_ Order members were lost; it was a catastrophe!' Moody barked, thumping his cane on the floor. The noise echoed through the room, and Albus watched the edge of the cane carefully. He rarely ever lost his composure, but right now, it seemed like he was trying as hard as he could to tame his anger.

In a voice softer than velvet, he looked up at Moody with some sort of hunger in his eyes. His piercing blue eyes. 'You think it was easy for me?' he breathed, meeting Moody's eyes and standing up straighter, towering over the shorter Auror instructor. 'You think I was willing to risk our own side being hurt? You think I wanted children to die Alastor?' his voice was now something like a snarl. 'I would never wish death upon innocent people, innocent _good _people! But it's necessary! Only with Sirius Black shall we even _dream_ of destroying the Dark Lord!'

Albus had seen the Dark Mark; he had seen what it had done to Lord Voldemort. Sirius held more power in his hands than even he understood. Prophecies were delicate creations. Even a slight change in time, history or a person could shift a prophecy. Albus believed that now, Harry was no harm to Lord Voldemort. What was _supposed_ to have been now was what _could _have been.

Harry was no longer the one required to kill the Dark Lord. Perhaps ... perhaps, Sirius was now the "Chosen One"? Maybe he was now the only person who could take down the Dark Lord.

He had a special Dark Mark, he understood the horcruxes, he even had one horcrux with him, right? He had gotten the horcrux?

'What happened? You still haven't told me!'

'Sirius _killed_ Voldemort! He shot a Killing Curse at him, it went straight through Voldemort. And then everything was dark ... he came back. His _spirit _came back at least. He was taunting Sirius, telling him that he could come back whenever he wanted. That he was invincible. And then the spirit disappeared. We all fled because the Death Eaters and the traitorous Aurors outnumbered us; we fled to an underground base.

'We have an enormous group of werewolf allies. Some had come to us when we were hiding in Wales. The giants had massacred some of their pack. They wanted revenge. We welcomed them. They're with us tonight...'

Albus looked out of the window, to the empty field and the dazzling sky. It was dancing with clouds and the light from the silver moon—

'They're _here _tonight?' Albus seethed. 'It's a full moon Alastor! Are you ... oh, but of course...'

'Lily,' Moody spat out, 'she made a spell to show the werewolves who they couldn't harm. It's been working well so far. They're focusing on the giants though and saving the Death Eaters for our side.'

'What else has ... happened?' Albus asked, grabbing a cloak and throwing it over his shoulders.

'Right now? Sirius is fighting Voldemort again, all alone! He won't be able to stand it much longer Albus; we need to get you a wand!' It was Frank now who was urgently talking, holding his wand tight and flinching at the deafening roar of the silence. Yes, the silence. He hated silence. Almost as much as he hated the screams.

'I think,' Albus replied, throwing open the door and stepping out of his prison for the first time in months, 'he's probably doing a pretty good job.'

_xo_

With all his power vented inside him, he waited for the Dark Lord to near him. He did exactly that, stepping closer to Sirius so he could taunt him.

'You didn't think...' then Voldemort laughed, 'you didn't _truly _think that the Dark Lord could be defeated? Let alone by a weak—' he punctured each word with a sharp jab of his wand, 'and _filthy _– blood – traitor?' He laughed again, this time throwing back his head and cackling. 'Oh Sirius, it's been immensely fun playing with you, all these months. But as you know, all games must end. I'll miss you terribly of course.'

'Yes,' Sirius panted, 'I know.' Then he threw his hands up, sending a beautiful charge of power towards Voldemort. It was like a rainbow, filled with the colours of death and hatred and strength. The burst of power threw the Dark Lord off balance and he staggered, but it did not however, kill him. It didn't even _harm _him.

Sirius rolled to the side, gasping for breath. He snatched his wand from the floor, dodging and ducking from the spells raining down onto him. He was good, but not good enough. Another spell cut through his cheek and he cried out softly, wincing in pain. He could feel it; Sirius could feel his body draining shut. He was going to lose. He didn't want to die though! He had a son, he had a _family!_

A baby's cry rippled through the air and it sounded an awful lot like SJ. Sirius looked up, breathless and gasping, to the window he thought he had heard it from. And it was that precise moment when Albus hurried out of the house, Murphy's wand in his hands and a spell on his lips.

But it was too late. The scene happened in slow motion; to everyone watching, it seemed as though time slowed down. As though time was on Sirius's side. Oh, but of course it was on his side; he was Time. Time against Power.

Sirius wasn't even watching Voldemort; he was still gazing longingly at the window he thought he heard the baby's cry from. Draco Malfoy's cry.

Voldemort took one look at Albus Dumbledore hurrying closer towards him, and at Sirius, his body turned away. He didn't even care that he was casting the spell behind the young man's back. He would have won anyway; honour and pride aside. With his serpentine tongue, Voldemort hissed the two words more familiar to him than even his _name._

'Avada Kedavra.'

James had never known just how loud he could shout or how high he could scream. 'WATCH OUT!' He dropped Lily and looked towards Sirius, with that urgent, ever-fixed expression on his face. The sharp, bottle green jet of light was making its way from Sirius's own thestral wand toward the owner's chest. James watched as the light changed colours, gaining power as it evaded time; crashing closer and closer to Sirius.

It hit the handsome man hard.

Sirius fell, dead before he even hit the uneven ground.

James stared. He stared and stared and stared. Everyone froze for a moment, watching to see if Sirius Black would get up again. He didn't.

James shouted.

He dropped his wand and bellowed as loud and as hard as he could. It seemed like he had been running for miles, when in actual fact Sirius was only a dozen metres away from him or so. He fell to his knees, ignoring the duel Albus Dumbledore and Lord Voldemort were now in with one another.

Albus seemed to have the upper hand, taking Voldemort by surprise, who had been too consumed with the fact that he had beaten Sirius to notice what was going on around him.

None of it mattered; Sirius wasn't moving. His eyes were wide and glassy and his body was still, forever still.

James wrapped his arms around Sirius and started shaking him, '_Please,_' he breathed, 'please wake up Sirius. Please wake up. Come on man, wake up!'

It wasn't until Peter grabbed them both by their jumpers and disapparated that James started to cry whilst he shook his friend.

'Please Paddy, wake up.' He begged. 'Please, wake up. Just wake up. Please. Please.'

* * *

><p><em>AN: Mortem is Latin for "Death", though you've probably already guessed!_

_I hope you liked this and it wasn't too upsetting. Enjoy the rest of your day and take care!_

_-xo_


	42. Checkmate

_Disclaimer; I don't own anything but the plot, OCs and some spells._

_A/N: I lied, there are going to be two more chapters. Chapters 43 & 44. I underestimated this story, but fear not, this chapter is hopefully good enough._

_Sorry for the slow update, I'm really very sorry! Hopefully this chapter will live up to your expectations; the amount of support I got from the reviews on chap 41 overwhelmed me. Thank you all so much!_

_Now, let the chapter commence._

* * *

><p><em>xoxo<em>

_"Death is simply a shedding of the physical body like the butterfly shedding its cocoon. It is a transition to a higher state of consciousness where you continue to perceive, to understand, to laugh, and to be able to grow." _

_— Elizabeth Kubler-Ross_

* * *

><p><em>xoxo<em>

_42. Checkmate_

James couldn't breathe. He didn't want to breathe. He was lost.

His body slammed down with Sirius's to the ground and Peter released them, moving back and gasping in shock.

'Wake up,' James whispered, 'please,' he begged, 'please, don't do this, don't do this to me, Paddy ...' James slapped his face gently. His tears fell onto Sirius's face and into his glassy open silver eyes. For a moment, it seemed as though Sirius was crying.

His skin was icy cold and dangerously pale. He was still; forever still. More of them started apparating into the room, covered with blood and dirt and panting from the battle they had only just been in. They were silent whilst they appraised the scene. James ignored them. Then he spotted Lily, his beautiful Lily.

'Lily,' he shouted. His voice echoed in the noiseless room. He didn't know why he was shouting, but it seemed fitting. 'Lily, tell him to wake up ... why isn't he waking up?' James refused to meet the eyes of anyone else. There were a few more cracks, and then there was the final one, that seemed so much louder and so much more powerful.

It was Dumbledore.

'Make him wake up,' James pleaded with his old Headmaster, his face wet with tears. 'I'm begging you.'

Albus stepped forward, a sympathetic and sad expression on his face. But James didn't want his sympathy or sadness, he wanted Sirius.

'Make him.'

'I can't dear friend, I wish I could but I can't, he's d—'

'NO! NO! HE'S NOT DEAD! HE'S NOT!' James roared, before slamming his fists down onto Sirius's chest. He refused to believe Sirius was dead, his best friend, his brother...

Someone crept up behind James and restrained him but he carried on kicking and screaming. His screams turned into sobs and his sobs into silent tears. Lily's arms wrapped around him to hold him. Sirius wasn't dead, he couldn't be dead. He was _Sirius._

She was crying too. There were more cracks, rippling through the air. An Auror spoke aloud to Dumbledore about the werewolves, and how they were locked up now, but James didn't care. He didn't care if their side had retreated, if they had killed the giants. All of it seemed so trivial now.

'Someone, go wake Rose—'

'NO! Don't wake her,' James cried, 'don't wake her, leave her, leave her...'

He was cut off however by a heartbroken scream. She stood in the doorway holding her son. Rose's eyes raked over her dead lover, his black hair covering part of his pale face, his glassy, open eyes, his frozen body.

Sirius was dead. James wrenched himself out of Lily's grip and threw himself onto Sirius's body. He held his brother, ignoring the pitiful glances from everyone. He blocked out the sounds of sobbing. He blocked out everything but the man in his arms. He pulled Sirius's head into his lap.

'Wake up,' James crooned deliriously. He smoothed Sirius's hair and sobbed silently, bowing over to whimper into the dead man's shoulder. 'You're just sleeping, wake up ... you're so cold Sirius ... you're so cold ...'

SJ was shoved into the arms of Lily, a crying Lily. Rose fell to her knees and cuddled up next to Sirius's dead body. James smoothed her hair too. She shrieked through her tears and started begging, Rose didn't know who she was begging. But she begged as hard as she could. She kissed Sirius again; she kissed all over his face, his frozen face. She tasted his lips and inhaled his alluring scent, she mumbled words against his skin but he didn't move at all. He was cold.

He was so cold.

'Please,' she breathed against his lips, her voice mirroring James's; a hollow, dead voice. 'I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you...' she repeated over and over.

'I love you,' James whispered. 'Don't leave me, please don't leave me...'

'Come on James.'

He wasn't sure who said it, but he snapped and bared his teeth. He continued running his hands through the glossy, soft hair he was so familiar with. 'You're cold. You're too cold ... you need something to warm you up, I know how angry you get when you wake up cold.' James bit his lip as ran a hand through his hair.

Sirius loved his leather jacket; it should still have been in his flat. James needed to bring it for him; he needed to bring back the leather jacket. 'I'm going to bring you back your leather jacket, okay? The one Lily got you for your twenty first birthday. I'll just be a minute Pads, I promise...'

'What?'

Again, James was so disorientated; he didn't know who said it. But he ignored whoever it was. Even Lily didn't try and stop him; she was too busy rocking SJ, who was crying now. She rocked the baby and herself into a more calm state. She was a little delirious too; she was delirious enough to agree with James, Sirius needed to be warm. He hated the cold.

James pressed a kiss to Sirius's forehead and then slipped out from under him. Immediately, Rose wrapped her arms around the dead body and cried heartedly into his shoulder. She screamed and begged, looking up into the faces of all the sympathetic Order members and pleading with them.

'I'll ... I'll just be a minute, okay Paddy? Just a minute...' James mumbled to himself, scratching the side of his face. He was confused. Should he stay? No, Sirius would be annoyed. If he hurried, he'd make it back in time before Sirius woke up.

'Prongs ... Prongs mate, you need to think straight—'

Something inside him switched. 'I AM THINKING STRAIGHT! I AM THINKING STRAIGHT PETER! BUT SIRIUS WILL BE SO MAD! HE'LL BE SO MAD TO WAKE UP COLD! I DON'T WANT HIM TO BE COLD! I WANT ... I ... Peter ...' James panted, his body sagging in defeat, 'I just want him back, okay?'

Without even a goodbye, James's disapparation crack shattered through the air, jolting everyone out of the shock they were in, even Albus Dumbledore. None of them had thought Sirius would die. He was Sirius! He was supposed to be unstoppable, invincible, he was supposed to be their saviour. It was Peter who stunned Rose a few moments after James disappeared.

She was smashing things, tearing at her own face, slamming her fists down again and again onto Sirius's chest. She was mad. When she fell to the floor besides Sirius's dead body, stunned, they looked peaceful for once. They looked like how they did over a year ago; in love and happy and peaceful. Maybe death was the only thing that could bring the couple happiness again.

But suddenly, Peter's thoughts were stolen by his other friend. What about James? What was he doing right now...?

More importantly, _where _was he?

_xo_

Imagine falling off a building. Imagine falling so fast from such a high building it felt like you weren't human, you weren't from this world. It felt like you were free, you had wings and you could be anyone and go anywhere you wanted. It felt like that.

Sirius knew he was dead. The moment he hit the ground and he felt no pain, he knew he was dead. Surprisingly, he wasn't sad about it at all. Because he also knew something else, he also knew Voldemort could not kill him. A stranger on the street could "Avada Kedavra" him and he would die. But Voldemort, _Voldemort _himself could not kill Sirius. Or at least, he _hadn't _been able to kill Sirius.

He didn't know how he knew about all of this, but he knew. And it terrified him.

Sirius was naked. Oddly enough, he didn't mind being naked. He couldn't decide what colour the room was, but it seemed orange to him, his favourite shade of orange; a burnt ember colour, like sunset. All around him there were kittens, ferrets, puppies and rabbits; Amal and Aubrey's friends. The promised friends.

They waved at him and giggled. Sirius bent down to pick one up. She chuckled and wriggled her ears, scrunching up her tiny rabbit nose and winking.

'Who're you?' Sirius asked quietly. His voice had a husky, soft tone. It was so calm he almost thought it wasn't his voice.

'I'm Dina. It's nice to meet you Sirius.' She whispered to him, leaning forward and nuzzling his neck. Then there was a loud gong and she squealed, hopping out of his arms and running away from him.

'Wait!' Sirius called after her, but all the animals carried on running away from him. Sirius followed them. He followed after the animals. They were fast but he was faster. He caught up with them easily. Then they stopped abruptly.

He looked up. It was an arena; a large and grandiose and open arena. Sitting in the centre was a small table, and on the table was a chess set. It was large and majestic. But what caught Sirius's attention was not the chess set but instead the woman sitting on the black side of the chess set.

Walburga Black.

She looked up at her naked son and he shivered when her eyes raked over his body in boredom. He suddenly wished he was clothed. And with a pop, soft cotton grey clothes covered his body from view. He sighed in appreciation.

'Go on, go sit with it...' Aubrey said from Sirius's shoulder before licking his neck and giggling.

Sirius sighed shakily and nodded. His shaky legs carried him towards the woman or "it" as Aubrey referred to her. He stood there and scrutinised the woman.

She looked at Sirius with a face void of emotions. His Mother never looked at him like that; never. Her face always had some emotion, whether anger or disappointment or annoyance, there was _always _an emotion. This face though, this beautiful face had no emotion. It scared Sirius.

'Sit.' It was a voice unlike Walburga Black's. It was a cold and dead voice. It made him shiver.

'Mother?' Sirius asked, sitting down opposite her.

'I am not your Mother.' It said. Then with a wink, it transformed into Professor Dumbledore's body. With another wink, it became Orion Black. And with a final wink, it was Regulus. Sirius cried out. 'I am whatever you want me to be.' The hollow voice said.

'Reg,' Sirius whispered breathlessly, leaning forward. But his hand didn't meet silky soft skin, but instead something that felt a lot like ice.

He realised slowly who this really was sitting before him. It wasn't his Mother, or Regulus or even some sort of magical creature that could shift from body to body. 'You decide whether I live or die.' He whispered.

'No, I merely make it happen. No ... oh no, Sirius, _you_ decide whether you live or die.'

For the first time, he looked down at the chest set. He noticed that the white pieces weren't white, but instead a light shade of grey. The same for the black, they weren't totally black but instead a dark shade of grey.

They represented _him._ They represented his mind, his soul and his heart. 'I have to play you for my life.'

'Yes.' The Angel of Death said through Regulus's voice. 'Yes, you must play me. You can beat me; you have the power to beat me. But the question is whether or not you really _want _to beat me. Now, choose a side.'

Sirius's hand hovered over the light grey pieces. Regulus laughed. 'Choose your real side.'

Sirius rotated the chessboard and touched the darker grey pieces. The Angel of Death nodded. 'Let us play then.'

_xo_

James whispered the spells to unlock the Protection Charms set on the house. After ten minutes of furious work, he whispered the spell to open the front door, a spell only the Marauders, Lily and Rose knew. It opened with a click.

It was dusty, James decided. The air was thick with dust and had a musty, old smell. It was neglected. But what did he expect? Sirius hadn't been here since October. James had always loved the apartment, but without Padfoot here, it seemed cold and dead. It was just an empty shell without Sirius.

He went into the bedroom first, and noticed the collage of photographs on the dresser. James smiled and flicked through them. The Marauders were there a lot; him, Remus and Peter all beaming at the camera. There was one of James and Lily at their wedding, one of Sirius drunkenly dancing with the beautiful redhead at the wedding too* and James's personal favourite, the day Harry was born. Regulus was right at the back, handsome as ever and laughing rather haughtily at the camera with Sirius. This was before Hogwarts when they had been the best of friends.

When James picked up the frame with Rose's picture in it, a few others tumbled out from inside. He slowly picked them up. They were beautiful pictures. Pictures of Sirius and Rose in _love._ James put the photographs back and frowned.

Before he knew it, he started crying again. Real, heart wrenching tears. His body trembled and his legs gave out. Collapsing on the floor in a heap, James shook. His sobs and cries echoed through the large apartment. Sirius's unique scent assaulted James's nose and he cried harder. Padfoot couldn't be dead, he just couldn't be.

It had to be some hoax. Maybe Voldemort cast a "fake dead" spell. There were many of them around. Maybe Voldemort ...

_Voldemort._ James had never hated someone as much as Voldemort. He screamed into the air and punched the hard wooden floor repeatedly. He punched and punched until his knuckles started bleeding and turned purple with bruises.

He grasped his hair and pulled and before he knew it, he was on his feet, kicking everything. He destroyed the dresser and clothes tumbled out. He saw a flash of leather but his mind barely processed it. The pictures fell to the ground and broke, their glass frames shattering. Then, when James was satisfied with the state of the dresser, he turned to the cabinet beside the large king sized bed. He kicked and kicked the cabinet, howling in anger and watching with sick pleasure as his foot blasted through the cabinet door.

Soon, it was nothing but honey brown splinters of wood littering the floor. Its contents were sprawled on the floor, ruined. Things like letters and ink pots and parchment. James ignored it. He was too busy appraising the small, miniature door behind the cabinet. It was a safe, with a little combination latch on one side.

James fell to his knees and moaned softly in pain but he ignored it. The physical pain he was feeling right now couldn't compare to the emotional pain he felt. His heart was hurting, it actually felt like it was dying. Could his heart die? Could he still live with a dead heart?

James crawled through the clothes and the contents of the cabinet and the wood splinters before he finally rested just a few inches from the safe. His hands were shaking; they were in such a horrid state. They were purple, with bruises covering them and blood still pouring out from the shallow cuts. He reached out to touch the hatch and then pulled back his hand.

What could the combination be? And most importantly, what was Sirius hiding in there?

James ran another shaky hand over his face, wiping the tears.

_xo_

'You're very good at chess.' The Angel of Death with Regulus's face said.

Sirius nodded. 'I know. My Aunt Druella was British champion for fourteen years running. She taught me everything I know about chess. This was when she liked me.'

Regulus nodded. 'I claimed her four years ago. It was very sad. She was in pain. I took mercy, despite the fact that she didn't take much mercy on her children herself.'

'You _claimed _her. You say it like she's nothing but an antique.' Sirius mused, shaking his head. He took the white-grey bishop using his dark queen and watched as Regulus raised an eyebrow, obviously impressed.

'But she is an antique ... to me. I collect lives like one might collect stamps. She means nothing. I only remember her because I remember you, I remember _everything _about you.'

Sirius watched as _Regulus _captured his almost black pawn with his knight, putting it to the side and smiling tightly. Sirius snatched the knight with his pawn, grinning when Regulus made a noise that sounded so familiar. But it wasn't Regulus. The _man_ before him was something entirely different.

He sighed then he moved his queen to snatch the rook before it took his king. He gasped raggedly, wondering what would have happened had he missed such a fatal move. What if he lost this match? The most important match in the world?

Would he fade into the abyss of death? Would it feel nice? Would he just dissolve into the air, move into time and space. Was there really such a thing as heaven and hell? And if there was, where would Sirius go? He would go hell; he was never the good person his parents said he needed to be in order to go to heaven.

Sirius put the rook to the side. Most of his pawns were gone, which was a downer. But he still had both his knights and a rook. That was good, that was really good. Regulus only had one knight and one rook. His queen was also in danger, but the Angel of Death seemed to sense that. It was his move. He transported the queen to safety.

Sirius snatched a pawn with one of his own, hissing in annoyance when that same pawn was captured. 'Do you honestly think, Sirius Black, that your time is coming to an end?'

Sirius looked up and shook his head. 'I have a baby boy...' he breathed, shaking his head again. 'No. I don't want to go. He needs me ... I need him.'

'I could take you, you know. Remember that. I could take you now if I wanted. What is one life to me? What is human life to me?' Regulus's voice shook with hunger and bloodlust.

'Please.' Sirius begged, capturing Regulus's last knight. He threw it as hard as he could to the ground.

'But what do you promise? Even if I let you go Sirius Black, Tom Riddle could catch on, he could take get another Death Eater to kill you.'

Sirius shrugged. 'Then I know I would have tried ... Regulus ... when you took him...'

'It was painful. He drowned, one of the most painful ways to die. But he saw light, a light in the form of a girl. I took her form. I wanted to bring him the kindest death I could. He was a good boy. He was brave. I saw into his mind, he had the mind of a Gryffindor you know. I'm a kind person, I do not wish pain upon others. Only peace. Regulus deserved peace.'

Sirius smiled. _Good,_ he thought. Regulus died in the arms of the woman he loved. 'Good.' He voiced, hissing in anger when one of his knights was taken. He snatched the Angel's bishop and grinned when his "brother" scowled.

'Can I ask you a question?' When the Angel nodded, Sirius continued. 'Why can't Voldemort kill me?' He was genuinely curious and smiled when the Angel of Death put his hands behind his head, getting ready to explain everything to Sirius.

'You're mark, as you already know, is not a normal mark. It has energy from when it was carved. Energy between you and Tom. He tried to make you accept it and you refused. That energy was a spark. You remember the explosion? He had administered the mark three times but it wasn't what he wanted. He administered it twice more. And in the attic...'

'Yes,' Sirius breathed, nodding. 'Yes, I remember. We were both in pain. All I could see was white.'

'That was part of _your _soul leaving you. That was part of _his _soul replacing your soul, the piece you had lost. Part of you lived inside him Sirius Black. And part of him lived in you.' The Angel explained.

'But I don't understand why someone else can kill me?'

'It's not strong enough. The bond between the both of you is weak. He could see snippets of inside you, just like you could see snippets of inside him. But someone else can interfere, someone else can cut the connection between you both.' The Angel explained, clapping his hands together.

Then he watched the board, it was his move now, whilst Sirius tried to understand everything that was being said. The Angel took one of Sirius's bishops, who rolled his eyes and slumped dramatically. Then Sirius asked another question.

'If I kill him?'

'He's killed part of him, the part that lives in you. It's dead now. He's killed it. But that means...'

'Oh! The bond between us is broken now.' Sirius sighed, shaking his head. 'I don't live in him anymore, he doesn't live in _me _anymore. He destroyed the connection. Which means I can die ... so if I go back now and he kills me I won't be coming back?'

'I'm sorry, am I confusing you?' Regulus asked when Sirius frowned, chewing on his bottom lip.

'No, no, I think I understand. I ... I understand what I need to do now.' Sirius moved his bishop to protect his dark king.

'What's that?' The Angel asked, an alluring smile covering his face.

Sirius smiled softly when he saw the horrible move the Angel made. He leapt forward, his rook taking the king. 'I need to make one.' He replied, throwing the light grey king to the floor.

'Checkmate.' The Angel of Death observed.

'I need to make a horcrux.'

_xo_

James hovered over the combination latch, staring at it. Dust coated the buttons; he blew at it and coughed softly. Running a hand through his hair, James sighed. He entered Rose's birthday. It didn't work. He entered Harry's, but that too was rejected.

James tried his own birthday, Remus's, Peter's, but none of them opened the small safe.

_What was Sirius trying so hard to protect? What was inside the vault?_

He looked around the room, his feet making a grating sound as they moved against the floor. Underneath his foot was a picture, a smashed, battered picture of two boys, from before Hogwarts started. They were smiling at each other, laughing haughtily before turning to face the camera.

They were the best of friends. They were brothers.

James remembered the day Regulus died, he could never forget it. He had never seen Sirius more devastated, more heartbroken. James entered the date of Regulus Black's death-day and closed his eyes when he heard the click of the safe door.

He breathed in and out nervously. Should he do this? Obviously Sirius didn't want anyone going through his safe. But he was dead. James's best friend was dead. He reached out his shaky, broken hand and opened his hazel eyes.

But then he froze. James had expected to see maybe an engagement ring for Rose? Or more photographs, this time more personal and endearing to Sirius. He had even anticipated finding letters; private and secretive letters.

What James had not expected to find was a Time Turner. It glistened like a thousand golden stars in the blackness of the vault. James reached out after a startled moment and took it.

* * *

><p><em>AN: I'm really anxious about what you'll all think of this chapter, but be honest and tell me your true opinions. Thanks for reading, I wish you all a great day, take care._

_Also, where you see the asterisk in regards to Lily &. James's wedding during this chapter, that particular memory is shown in my other "story" His Footsteps if you'd be interested in checking that out, there are only two chapters of it though x_x_

_Thanks for reading,-xo_


	43. Rose's Pendant

_Disclaimer; I don't own anything but the plot, OCs, some spells and some potions._

_A/N:__ Managed to squeeze this out before I go on holiday._

_This is the last chapter. Please do enjoy it, thank you so much, all of you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you!_

* * *

><p><em>xoxo<em>

_43. Rose's Pendant_

James hesitated. Just for a moment. Then his hand shot out and he grasped the Time Turner. _It was real, oh Lord, it was real._

He pulled it out of the blackness of the small safe and stared at it. It was surprisingly heavy in his hand, and it was startlingly cold. He didn't know what to make of it. Instead, he stood up and collapsed on Sirius's bed. Dust flew into the air, and a stale smell assaulted James's nostrils. He stared at the Time Turner.

It was almost like a flame; illuminating and bright. The small necklace turned James's hand gold with light. He looked at it. Ten days. It was pulled back ten days. _Ten days for what?_ He wanted to scream. What did this mean? Was this Sirius's eraser of some sorts. Anytime something wrong happened he would turn time back and fix everything. How long had he had the Time Turner?

James gasped. What if Sirius had had it since Hogwarts, what if he had it when he was a kid? But then James realised ... if Sirius had had the gold instrument back in Hogwarts, then why hadn't he fixed the whole Whomping Willow incident? Why didn't he stop Regulus from dying? What about Rose and the baby? But these revelations didn't make James feel any better. If anything, he grew more worried.

So it was something Sirius definitely got recently. Which worried James even more. This meant ... this meant that Sirius wasn't who he was making out to be, right? But James knew Sirius, or at least, he _thought _he knew Sirius.

What did this mean? Now he found the Time Turner, what would this mean? And now Sirius was dead. James had the instrument in his hands, the instrument that could bring his friend back. He could turn back time, just a few hours, and stop Sirius from dying.

A raggedy sob slipped out of James's mouth before he could restrain it. It was very cold in the house. He clutched the Time Turner and buried his face into the pillow closest to him. Behind the stale smell of dust, he could pick out the scent of Sirius; the soft cologne and a little bit of wet dog. Sometimes Sirius liked to sleep as Padfoot.

The smell, instead of sending James into another heartbroken frenzy, calmed him down considerably. He rocked himself to sleep. It was gentle, but the dream was almost like Trelawney was trying to speak to him. He knew what he would do. He would turn back time, try to fix things and stop his dear brother, his best friend from dying.

Sirius would hate him if he ever found out. He might even kill himself. But, just as James was slipping from a light slumber into a deep sleep, he was awoken by a bright light. It wasn't yellow or gold like most lights were, it was completely and blindingly white.

James opened his eyes tiredly. Standing before him was an enormous animal. She was beautiful, ducking her head and smiling softly. Lily's patronus was a doe. 'Darling,' her voice said, the doe opening it's mouth in a perfect imitation of the way Lily spoke, 'you need to come back. He's awake.'

_xo_

Sirius embraced Regulus. He was still only a tiny bit taller than his brother, but it was almost like they fit perfectly together. He knew it wasn't his brother but it _felt and looked _like Regulus. He held him, and though the embrace wasn't reciprocated, he didn't care.

Sirius started speaking before he could even comprehend what was going on. He spoke the words he had dreamed of speaking to Regulus, the last words he would have said to his brother if he saw him before his death. 'I should have made more of an effort ... I'm sorry about that ...'

The Angel of Death was silent, knowing that now more than ever, Sirius needed the serenity and tranquillity speaking to his brother brought. 'You remember what we always used to say to each other, don't you?'

Regulus, the Angel of Death, knew what Sirius was talking about. Everyone who he took immediately gave him their memories. Racing through the Angel's mind were billions and billions of dear memories, belonging to the ones of the fallen. 'Yes, I remember ... Sirius, would you burn all the stars for me, every single star?'

Sirius made a noise in the back of his throat, a choked sob. 'Yes Reg, even my own ...' he breathed, nuzzling his brother's neck and kissing his cheek.

'Would you fight a dragon for me?' Regulus asked.

'Even a horntail,' Sirius managed to say through his tight throat.

'How much do you love me?'

'More than anyone and anything in this world Reg, more than anyone.' Sirius whispered, 'I love you so much. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.' He truly was. If Sirius had any regrets, this would be his biggest. Neglecting Regulus, forgetting about Regulus, _leaving _Regulus all alone in this big bad world.

'You can do it,' the Angel breathed. 'Avenge me, avenge everyone who you've ever lost. I'm so sorry I left you. I'm so sorry that we fell apart.'

Sirius gulped and shook his head, moving back to stare into his brother's eyes. 'No, no it's not your fault. It could never be your fault. I want you to know you mean more to me than I ever made out. I want you to know that if I ever _do _have another kid and he's a boy—' Sirius paused for a moment to compose himself. 'I'll call him Regulus, after the best brother in the world, after the bravest man I've ever known.'

'You can do it.' Regulus told him, smoothing his brother's hair for him. 'You go back out there, you make it, you make a horcrux and you kill him. It's the only way you'll beat him. You know it's the only way.'

Sirius nodded after a moment's hesitation. Regulus was right, it _was _the only way he could beat Lord Voldemort. He wasn't strong enough to do it alone.

'It's everything I'm against Regulus. If I make a horcrux ... aren't I becoming everything I'm against?'

'It's for the Greater Good, Sirius. You're not going to make a horcrux to become invincible. You're making it because after you destroy all the other horcruxes and you go up against Lord Voldemort, it really is down to who's best at duelling. And I know you ... I know everything about you ... I know that you can _do _this.' Regulus grabbed Sirius's head and pressed their foreheads together. They stared deep into each other's eyes.

It gave Sirius the strength he needed. 'I'm going to tell Dumbledore then, I _have _to tell Dumbledore.'

The Angel of Death nodded. 'Yes, yes you're right. Tell him. We can do this if you tell him.'

'I'm sorry.' Sirius breathed after a moment's silence. The other man shrugged and released Sirius, stepping back. He stepped back and a staff appeared in his hand, a long thin black staff. His clothes changed from green robes to midnight black silk, reminding Sirius of Lord Voldemort's robes. But the Angel of Death seemed to carry his robe with a confidence that Voldemort lacked.

'You can do it ...' the voice was less like Regulus's now, and more of a hiss. He continued walking back. Now, all the animals; the puppies and kittens and rabbits emerged from their hiding place. The table disappeared, as did the chessboard. Now it was just orange surrounding Sirius. Like when he had decided before that the arena he was in was a reddish orange, now it was a deep ember colour. Like fire.

Everything around Sirius grew warmer; so warm he felt like _he _was on fire. He could still see his brother's face. But it was become less of his brother's face and more of a face Sirius didn't quite recognise. The eyes were still the same though; the burning blue eyes.

'You can do it Sirius Black, you just need to _believe ..._ now, I'm going to send you back, do you understand? I'm sending you back Sirius! Prepare to go back. They think you're dead ... are you ready?'

'No,' Sirius managed to pant. The air was burning now, it wasn't just the illusion. He was quite literally being burned.

'Good luck.' The Angel of Death whispered. Then everything was gone. The last thing Sirius remembered was the ember orange advancing; now it was so brightly orange he was sure the air was on fire. He shouted as loud as he could, his chest constricting and his throat tightening. But he still managed to scream as loud as he could.

It was worst than apparating. It was like each cell, each particle, each atom of his body was ripping apart to fit through an incredibly small space. He screamed and screamed, but found that it offered no relief. When he landed after what seemed like hours and hours, he felt himself slam into his own body. Did that make sense? It was almost as though the Sirius that had just been with the Angel and with the Cuddlies was nothing but his soul, as though he had just been in a spirit form.

His whole body jolted and he screamed again for only a brief moment. He was alone in one of the biggest bedrooms of the whole underground base. Lying on the enormous bed with him was an unconscious Rose Taten. She was stunned, Sirius concluded.

He could hear footsteps, rampaging down the corridor and to the room he was in. There had to be at least a dozen people bursting through the door. Sirius looked up. It was almost as though the room exploded; people were shrieking, they were grasping him and shaking him, shouting questions. Lily kissed him again and again on his cheek, Peter embraced him so tight Sirius thought his chest would burst.

He looked around every single person's face until his eyes met ones of a piercing blue. Albus Dumbledore.

'Where's James?' Sirius croaked. There was a silence, filled with whispered 'How?'s and 'What?'s.

Albus watched Sirius for a moment. Then he walked toward him, parting through the stunned witches and wizards. He stopped right in front of Sirius. 'Welcome back.' He said softly. Then Albus took out his wand and stunned Sirius.

_xo_

'I don't believe you—' James exploded, trying to make his way past Fabian and Gideon. He sneered at Lily when she told him she was telling the truth. 'I saw him die, I _saw _him! Stop lying to me, STOP!' Just as James screamed again, the door opened to the lounge, forcing Fabian forward. In came Remus, filthy and covered in blood.

He was trembling. His eyes were red with tears and he took one look at James's face before he made an anguished sound. 'No,' Remus breathed, 'he's not dead, is he?' he whispered.

'He's alive Remus, Dumbledore's with him. He was dead but he's _alive _now.' Lily's face was shining with happiness, it was only James who trembled with anger.

'They're lying Remus, _I saw him die! _He's not alive ... something happened or ... or something ...' he started mumbling again, shaking his head. Every few seconds his hand would go down to his pocket, where there was a small bulge. But then he would shake his head and bite his lip before he took his hand off his pocket.

'Why can't we see him?' Remus whispered, his naturally tanned skin growing whiter and whiter by the second. He ran his bloodstained hand through his hair. 'I need to see him, me and James ... we ... I ...' he murmured, shaking his head and biting his bloody mouth.

'Dumbledore.' Someone answered, and when Remus turned he saw it was Moody, sitting with a few others at the other end of the lounge. He was very pale too, anxious and cross and still in shock. 'Dumbledore needs to find out why he's alive. He was dead. And now he's not. That's dark magic.'

Lily hissed at Moody. 'He wouldn't do that. He wouldn't make himself invincible. It's down to Voldemort, of _course _it's down to Voldemort.'

'I need to see him.' James breathed, sitting down on the floor and putting his head between his knees. 'I was ... I've never been so scared in my _life _...' he was holding the leather jacket he had gotten from Sirius's apartment. James held it like a Mother held her newborn child. He smelt it again and again. He needed Sirius, of course he needed Sirius in his life.

But he needed to find out what the hell Sirius was doing with a Time Turner. And now he could find out ... after everything was sorted, if _Sirius was even alive_ James was going to ask him what he was doing with a Time Turner.

'Dumbledore needs to talk to him first Jamie.' Lily whispered. 'I saw him, Jamie I _saw _him baby. I'm not lying, I swear he's _alive_.' She grabbed her husband by the shoulders and shook him gently.

He bit his lip. 'Is he ... Lily is ...'

'He's okay darling, I promise you, he's okay.' She vowed before leaning forward to kiss him. And the kiss was like one James had never indulged in. Hesitantly, he kissed her back.

_xo_

To say Sirius was anxious was an understatement. Rose was still asleep beside him. Even in unconsciousness she gravitated towards him, satisfied as long as she was touching part of him. Albus closed the door behind all the witches and wizards exiting the room. He stayed with his back to Sirius for a while, who was now shedding his clothing.

He threw his robe to the floor, and then his jumper and shirt before pulling his shoes and socks off. He was so hot, it was almost like the glowing orange from when he was with the Angel of Death. He had Voldemort's wand in his trouser pocket (had it been there this whole time?) and he took it out, waving his wand and cooling down the room considerably.

'It's so hot,' he breathed to himself. Rose cuddled up closer to Sirius and he briefly pressed a kiss to her forehead. When he looked up, he almost jumped back. Albus was now sitting in a chair right beside the bed, his face inches from Sirius's.

'What happened?' he asked in an aged and tired voice.

Sirius bit his lip, looking down at his chest. His tattoos had faded now thanks to the burns Sirius had received from Voldemort and some of the Death Eaters. But the Archetypus Potion mostly returned Sirius back to his old state; he didn't have the scars that had littered his body before, nor did he have the enormous blisters and burns.

'What happened Sirius? Why are you back?' Albus asked again, this time in a slightly more forceful voice.

Sirius bit his lip and after a moment's hesitation, started to explain. He told Albus how he appeared alive in Death's abyss, about the Cuddlies and their manipulative ways, about the Angel of Death which changed from lots of forms to finally rest on Regulus. Then he told Albus about the chess match, the advice he was given, the things that were explained.

'He _told _you to make a horcrux?' Albus whispered.

'No,' Sirius said, shaking his head. 'He made me realise the only way I would be able to beat Voldemort is to make one. You know that, I know that, the Angel knows that ... I can't do this alone Albus, I need all the help I can get.' The handsome young man explained.

'Sirius ... you do know how a horcrux is made, don't you?' Albus said simply in a bland voice. 'It will hurt you more than anything you have ever experienced. It will burn you from the inside. You need to kill someone and use their death ...'

Sirius shook his head. 'I've been through so much pain Professor, I don't think anything can hurt me now. You don't know how it _felt _simply returning to life. And the Avada Kedavra? It hurt more than I could imagine, more than anything I've ever been through. I think I can deal with the pain.'

'And can you deal with having to kill someone?' asked Albus, raising a faded white eyebrow. He shook his head and buried his face in his hands.

'Can't we use the death of someone I've killed in the past? Like a Death Eater?' Sirius questioned quietly, looking up at the cracked ceiling of the underground base and inhaling heavily.

Albus looked up slowly, staring at Sirius deep in the eye. 'Yes. Yes, that may just work.' He murmured. 'Yes, I think ... I think we could do that. But it will take a lot of investigating Sirius ... Sirius?'

Sirius had turned away from Albus. He was facing Rose and tracing the necklace rapped around her throat. It was one he had gotten her years ago for her nineteenth birthday. It had a diamond in the centre, and sterling silver wrapping around it to form a heart. Slowly, Sirius unwrapped it from around her throat before he put it in his pocket.

'I'm going to make this my horcrux.' He said quietly. 'I need to make one don't I? I have to make one. The link between me and Lord Voldemort's mortality has severed now. If he kills me I'm gone for good Professor. I need to make sure I don't die.'

'Are you afraid of dying Sirius?' Albus asked softly, leaning forward to touch the pendant, Rose's pendant.

'I'm not afraid of dying, not at all. But I'm afraid of him surviving. And I've heard Trelawney's prediction. I've heard all I need to hear Professor. No one can do it. No one but me.' He said it like it was fact, as though he was explaining the sky was blue and grass was green. He said it in a resolute, almost _tired _way.

'We've destroyed the locket. Now there's only one left. I'm not sure what yet. And I'm not sure if he's finished making the Ravenclaw diadem a horcrux yet, I don't think he has though. But that means that potentially, I have two more to destroy. Then I have the part of his soul still inside his body to destroy. I can't do it without help Professor. I can't do it without dark magic. You know I can't.'

Albus nodded. 'I know you can't. Which is why ... I think I'm going to regret this in the future, especially if anything goes wrong but ... I'm going to help you Sirius. Yes, I'm going to help you make the horcrux. I'm going to regret this terribly but right now ... right now it makes more sense to me than anything.'

_xo_

When Rose woke up, it was next to the man she loved most. But he wasn't still like she thought he would be. Sirius Black was moving. He was singing to himself. His hands were running through her even but short golden hair.

'Sirius?' she said in a very soft voice. She must be dead dreaming, Rose thought. He was here, he was sitting next to her. He was _moving._

'Yes Rosie?' he asked just as quietly.

'Is this real.'

'Of course.' He answered sincerely. She didn't know when her pants became screams of happiness or tears of joy, but she jumped onto him and wrapped her whole body around his; Rose could be flexible when she wanted. She sobbed into his neck and started laughing, happiness soaring through her body.

'You're alive!' she chanted, 'oh God, you're alive Sirius, you're okay ... h-how ... w-what happened ...' even to herself, her sentences were incoherent. He quietened her by placing a finger on her lips.

'Don't worry Rose.' He said to her. 'All will be revealed in ... due course.' He said before laughing shortly. 'But I'm here Rose. I'm here and you're wasting time asking me what's wrong.'

'Wasting time?' she asked. Rose had never been the smartest duck in the pond. But she was the fiercest, the bravest. She was a warrior.

'Dear God ...' Sirius said, silencing her with a kiss. It was out of sync, very slow and almost confused. But he still kissed her, holding her face to his. When they broke apart Sirius looked her deep in the eye. 'I'm sorry about your hair.' He said. 'It looks awful.'

She laughed, before sobbing into her hands. 'Oh God, you're horrible ...'

'I'm sure we can make you some Hair Lengthening Potion.' He said simply, running a hand through the golden locks. Her hair was barely longer than his own. He ran a hand through it, brushing her hair back again, this time giving her an almost _masculine _look. It looked alright actually.

'When we have time. Only when we have time.' Then she leaned up to kiss him again. It was almost like nothing had happened between them, only there still seemed to be a great weight resting on both their shoulders. The kiss was out of rhythm and Sirius was almost shocked at how ancient her lips felt against his; her too-full, scarlet lips.

Then he released Rose suddenly. 'The Marauders.' He managed to choke, getting up off the bed and barely managing to right himself. It was disorientating; walking around. He still expected his body to shoot back into the cold abyss of death, where its Angel lived.

'I don't know where they are ... I was stunned, remember?'

Sirius could guess where they were though. He ran down the corridor, through the enormous kitchen and into the lounge. It was like everyone was there; waiting patiently for Sirius. Rose came in behind him. She didn't go over to hug him again or even touch him. She seemed to understand that this was the Marauders' moment.

His eyes immediately sought after hazel ones. He knew that James was the priority. Of course Remus and Peter were too, but James was the priority, he was the least emotionally stable. They found hazel. Sirius climbed over legs, people lounging on the floor, he slipped through a tight space between two occupied chairs until he was standing before James.

They stared at each other. It was Sirius who made the first move. He held out his hand to his friend, almost like a stranger.

'Sirius Black.'

It was such a familiar and yet ancient and old thing. Whenever they'd go home for holidays and wouldn't see each other for a while, this script usually followed as something like this:

'Lovely to meet you Sirius Black, I'm James Potter.'

Laughing, the very handsome man smiled. 'The weather's nice.'

Mocking him, James looked around and nodded. He could hear hesitant laughter echoing around the room. 'It's alright. Could be better. But you know London, weather's always ...' he was cut off when Sirius dragged him up by his collar and gave him a rough one-armed hug.

'I'm sorry.' He said very sincerely; very sadly.

The room wasn't silent but it was quiet. Everyone was too busy paying as much attention as they could to the two friends, the two best friends, the two _brothers._ James held Sirius just as tightly with an arm around his friend's shoulder.

'I thought you were dead,' James kept whispering, but his voice still carried around the room. There was no teasing in his voice. He was stoic and angry. 'I thought you left me ... why did you leave me?' he hissed bitterly. 'Don't leave me. We're brothers, you can't die on me ...'

'Of course,' Sirius managed to choke. 'Of course I won't die, I'll try ...'

'Don't leave me ...'

'Never.'

'Don't.' James replied angrily, only now did he understand how close to death Sirius had been. And only now was he understanding that he should save the whole Time Turner conundrum for later. He shouldn't ruin their reunion.

'Get over here you guys,' Sirius managed to say through his tight throat. Everyone in the room knew who Sirius was referring to when he said 'you guys'. Immediately, Remus jumped up and shook hands with Sirius, giving him a tight one-armed manly hug; the hugs that were brief and masculine and ever so sincere.

Peter did too. And it was like the Marauders were happy for the first time in a while; but they weren't. They were hurting more than they had ever hurt before. There was a hole now inside their friendship, not the hole Peter had left after his betrayal. A hole much deeper and much harsher.

'I won't leave you guys ever again.' Sirius whispered, 'I swear it.'

But even he knew that where he was going, what he intended to do, he might have to leave them forever again. Only now was he realising what he had gotten himself into. And only now did he understand what fear really meant.

_xo_

The newspapers, the magazines, they all used Sirius as a symbol. No one but those inside the tunnels knew that he was alive. To everyone of the world, Sirius Orion Betelgeuse Black was dead. He wasn't a martyr though, at least, not politically or publicly. To everyone, they were told he died a coward's death.

And inside the tunnels, reading the newspapers some of the others managed to scavenge from the outside world, they made Sirius tremble with fury. More than once one of the Marauders had to stun him to stop him from going through another rage. The first rage almost resulted in a fire spreading through the underground base.

He and Dumbledore disappeared inside a secret room for hours at a time, talking and making. After almost three weeks worth of research, Albus discovered that you could in fact use the death from someone in the past. Sirius opted to use the first time he killed Voldemort. It still counted, surprisingly. Besides, he wanted to build his only flaw on the death of the person he despised most in this world. If that made sense.

No one knew about the horcrux, and sometimes Sirius caught Albus watching him worriedly. Albus would smile when he was caught and look away, but Sirius recognised the haunted look in his eye. He was already regretting helping Sirius make the horcrux. But he knew they were too far in, there was no other way.

They wanted Voldemort dead, right? The prophecy said Sirius would be the only one to kill Voldemort. He was Time and the Dark Lord was power. The only thing that could defeat Power was Time. Only Sirius _could _win.

Albus was right. It hurt. It hurt almost as much as the Killing Curse hurt, almost as much as returning to the living world hurt. But he could handle it. His threshold for pain had trebled now. Almost like he was _immune_ to pain now.

After two months of inactivity from the Order and the good Aurors, after two months of Albus helping Sirius to make his horcrux, it seemed that it was finished. The old Headmaster of Hogwarts pretended he couldn't see the slight red glint in the younger boy's startling grey irises. But he did see it. It made him sick to the core.

'It's done.' The Headmaster told him. Sirius got up off the floor and winced, his hand clamming down on the mark on his forearm. He traced the livid mark and touched the deep scar running through it almost hesitantly. He felt different. Yes, he felt very different. The pain in his chest wasn't leaving. His mouth was dry and the very blood running through his veins stung.

He decided that he was very different from how he had been two months ago. And he was an entirely different man from who he was a year ago. That night, sleeping on the bed opposite Remus's and trying to go to sleep, Sirius's hand kept touching the necklace in his pocket; Rose's pendant.

It seemed to move every time he touched it, like it was happy. He had a horcrux now. He couldn't die, right? Voldemort didn't know he was alive, that gave him a huge advantage. Now, all he needed to do was find the second horcrux and discover whether Voldemort had made the diadem into one.

In the morning, he was sitting in the kitchen with Lily and Remus. He was laughing loudly whilst Alice made some food for them; delicious pancakes, scrambled egg and sausages. She was a talented cook and could make more than three meals.

None of them knew this, but standing outside the doorway to the kitchen was James. His hand was in his pocket, reassuring himself that the golden Time Turner was still there. He was considering whether he should go and call Sirius over. He needed to find out why the delicate instrument had been in the other man's home. He just needed to know.

It had been two months now, the other man had adjusted to being alive again (though none of them knew why) so maybe it was time. Maybe it was time he confronted Sirius. But James was scared. He didn't want to hurt his friend, after all the pain he'd been through. Sirius meant the world to him. And James would be damned if he ruined their friendship over something so insignificant.

But it wasn't insignificant, was it? This was something that could _change the world._ Something that was heavily guarded and protected more than anything else. It was one of the mysteries of magic, which was why it _lived _in the Department of Mysteries. How had Sirius even gotten it?

Just as James was about to go inside the kitchen and call Sirius to "take a walk" with him, Rose barged past him, but this time, it was an actual accident. 'Sorry James,' she said warmly. Rose was a different person. Maybe it was the haircut. Or maybe it was just the fact that Sirius was alive and they were trying to sort things out, taking things slow.

They hadn't even kissed in front of anyone, but things seemed to be looking up for them. Maybe it was SJ, who was healthy and more handsome then ever. James smiled and nodded at her. 'It's fine.' He told her, reaching out to stroke SJ's silky smooth skin.

She winked at James and continued on into the kitchen, where she sat beside Sirius and whispered in his ear. He smiled half heartedly, shaking his head. 'You can't keep doing that, they'll soon notice ... did you save me some?' but then he laughed despite himself when she whispered in his ear again.

Was James really in any position to destroy Sirius like that? Because the Time Turner was obviously something the other man wanted to keep a secret. And people were entitled to secrets; heck, James had quite a few himself. He shook his head and took his hand out of his pocket. He'd leave the Time Turner for another time.

This wasn't any of his business. But suddenly, he made a vow to himself, standing here, near the kitchen door with his forehead pressed against the wall. James decided he wouldn't inform Sirius about his awareness of the Time Turner at all. Instead, he would use it himself. If his brother, if any of his brothers, if his wife or his son ... if they were hurt, James would use it himself. He would use it to save them. He'd already lost Sirius once, he wasn't going to lose him again.

He stepped into the kitchen, dodging the kick Remus sent him and hurrying towards his wife to embrace her and kiss her and tell her he loved her. Then James turned to face Sirius, who himself was speaking to Rose softly. James strained his ears.

'We'll try again ... won't we?' Rose asked, touching her hair self consciously; it was in a very miniscule ponytail right now and stood up straight, with small tufts of hair exploding out. Her hair was barely longer than her boyfriend's.

He hesitated, but then sighed and nodded. 'I want to ... after all of this ... maybe we could pick up where we left off ...' Sirius said to her in a quiet voice, smoothing her very short hair and leaning forward to kiss her forehead.

'But you don't know if you can trust me.' She said for him, looking down at their child in her arms. Each day SJ looked, if possible, more and more like Sirius.

'Exactly. But Rose,' Sirius pulled out her pendant from his pocket. It seemed to shine brighter and it looked almost _magnetic, _if something can look magnetic that is. 'Rose I want to _try._ Isn't that the most important thing?' he asked.

'Wanting to try? I think so.' Her eyes were trained to the pendant. Rose's pendant.

He didn't need to brush any hair back, her hair barely brushed her jaw. He put it around her neck and leaned over so he could see where he needed to clasp the two parts of the chain together. When he released it, the diamond pendant seemed to shine bright; like a star, like the dog star.

'It's beautiful on you.' He said.

And Rose, forgetting about everything they promised each other, the promise that they would take things slow, leant over and captured his lips with hers. He kissed her reluctantly back and ended it a bit too quickly, but then he embraced her, minding their son.

Sirius ducked his head and pressed it into her neck. But not because he wanted to breathe in the scent of her neck, as lovely as it was. Oh no, it was because of his eyes. His usually beautiful stormy grey eyes flashed deep scarlet; like blood. But Rose of course didn't notice. Instead, she pulled his face up again, her eyes shut tight. She leaned in to kiss him. His fingers came up to brush the pendant necklace wrapped around her long tanned throat as they made love to one another's lips, ignoring everyone they knew was watching. It was bliss.

He shut his eyes, which only burned brighter. Veiling his scarlet irises from the world, he sighed. And when she released him, he sighed again.

Time was ticking, Time was ticking fast.

_xoxo_

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><p><em><span>AN:__ I hope this lived up to your standards. Don't forget to follow me as an author so you know when the sequel comes out. I really hope you liked this chapter, you don't know how anxious I am to hear your feedback and see what you think of this chapter, this final chapter. _

_Feel free to ask any questions, maybe if you're wondering why Dumbledore allowed Sirius to make a horcrux or whatever. I know some of you might think that's out of character for Dumbledore but it's what I've chosen to happen._

_First, I'd like to thank you all so much for reading my story and for those who bothered to leave a comment. I've never completed a story before this ín my life, so it's nice to realise I have finished a story. I'd also like to thank the readers and reviewers who have given me advice and criticism, it's much appreciated. The next chapter will be the prologue from the sequel which I have yet to name._

_Check it out on my profile: A Dark Path._

_Have a wonderful day, I know I'll be having a great week, I'm going on holiday!_

_Once again, thank you all so much for the support and the dedication you've shown me and my story. Over and out. -xo_


	44. Chapter 1, Dreams and Reality

_An extract from the first chapter of the sequel A Dark Path. Check it out on my page._

_Remember to follow and favourite the sequel. Enjoy..._

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><p><em>xoxo<em>

_~ A DARK PATH ~_

_1. Dreams and Reality_

Sirius couldn't decide how he felt. Did he feel different? It had been a few weeks since he made the horcrux and already he felt like there was a cloud over his head. His eyes were darker than their usual grey, his voice gruff and curt. He felt darker, colder and he was scared. He'd never been so scared. Sirius could barely recognise himself when he looked in the mirror, he looked in the mirror a lot now. Willing the man he once saw staring back at him to appear. _What had he done?_

His eyes met Dumbledore's again and he blushed, looking away quickly. Sirius didn't think he would ever be able to look the man in the eye again. A _horcrux..._

The very instrument that killed Regulus. The very thing that his brother died to destroy, Sirius went and created one of the same. How was that anything like avenging Regulus? Wasn't that the total opposite of avenging his dear brother?

The Order meeting he was currently sitting in took up the largest room of the underground base. It was packed with new initiates who were once old Aurors; they had finally realised just how crooked the whole Auror segment of the Ministry was. Good on them. There were also a few seventh years who had given up on education all together and fled, seeking refuge with those they knew could protect them. The fearless seventh years wanted to join the war.

Sirius was snapped out of his reverie when he heard James tell him to listen. It happened a lot to him now. He couldn't keep his attention on one thing.

'... now Crouch is dead—' Dumbledore said in his loud, ringing voice.

Yes, Crouch was dead, and so of course rumours were spread about him. But whereas the ones spread about Sirius's death were nasty and complete lies, most of Crouch's rumours were probably true. In the last few years of the man's career, he had become everything he was fighting against. Only he was worse.

The man couldn't tell the difference between a scared teenager and a Death Eater in the making. He had always been gruff with Sirius, if not a little cold and hard. But what did Sirius expect? His surname was enough of an indication as to _why _he was treated so ruthlessly by people like Crouch. The Blacks where known for their prejudiced and pureblood supremacist ways but they themselves were judged without people ever getting to know them.

Even Moody, now a role model and good friend of Sirius's, had treated him a little coldly when they first met. Sirius was trying to become an Auror as quick as he could and Moody had heard enough about Blacks, one pretty Black in particular ... the older man had watched the boy closely for a few weeks before he realised that really, Sirius was a harmless Black. Or rather, he was harmless to people he _liked._ To the people on _his _side. To anyone else the infamous Black insanity came out and he was ruthless.

Anyway, Dumbledore was going on about how Crouch's death was a good thing, no matter how tragic it was that their old friend had died. He hadn't been killed by Lord Voldemort's side, but instead he _killed_ himself which was why there were vicious rumours spreading through the tabloids and on the WWN. Voldemort was furious that he had lost the man who could have been useful.

'... could have used Crouch as an asset, he's a brilliant Auror, a quick thinker, he has a strong mind ... Voldemort would have tried to use these things to his own advantage. Also, I'm unsure as to what ...'

Dumbledore could drone on for a while. But everything he said was important. Everything he said made sense and captured the attention of each and every person in the room. 'We need to kill Voldemort if we're to return the Wizarding World of Britain to normal again. We cannot do this with him still here.'

His piercing blue eyes clashed with Sirius's. They shared a deep and dark look with more than a million thoughts behind it; Sirius ran a hand over his bare stomach, swallowing nervously. It was so hot in the room. Dumbledore spoke to him often about whether Sirius felt any different, if he needed any magical assistance. But he knew what the Headmaster was really asking; _are you turning dark? _ 'Sirius is going to try and do that for us.' Dumbledore said, snapping him once again out of his thoughts.

The handsome man almost groaned. All eyes turned to him. James was sitting beside him, holding baby Harry. On the other side of Sirius sat Rose, with SJ in her arms. He was making quiet fussed noises. Sirius looked down and pressed a quick kiss to his son's nose before looking up at everyone again.

'Maybe this time I might do it right.' He said with a big but fake smile on his face. Only the Marauders could tell it was fake. Sirius was a good actor when he wanted to be one.

Dumbledore smiled blandly. 'Yes, maybe you will. But we mustn't set everything on Sirius. We need to take down—'

'All of Voldemort's wingmen. Bellatrix, Lucius Malfoy, the likes ...' Moody interjected. 'We need to weaken him as much as we can.'

'I ... I want to do it, I agree with you Moody. We need to get rid of the things he values most; his head Death Eaters, his claim to immortality; we need to succeed in getting him as weak as possible if I'm to even try and defeat him but ...'

'Pads,' James said from beside him, questioningly.

'But it's going to be hard, Voldemort's fall is going to require every single one of us, working together ...' Suddenly, a very peculiar memory sprung into his mind.

A memory that kept revisiting him.

_xo_

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><p><em>This is like 15 of the chapter, you can see the rest if you go on my profile and click on A Dark Path.__  
><em>


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